and i fucked this up and now its fixed

4

headcanon that the russian team is just a bunch of fucking trolls  (feat. Yuuri bc they’re all rinkmates now)

So now we live
Fandom: Star Wars Rogue One
Pairing: Cassian Andor/Jyn Erso
Words: 5777
Rating: Explicit

Tags: Angst, Smut, Fluff ish, Resolving angst with smut, quite likely poor characterization, no one died but they all got a little fucked up, self hating Jyn, improper sparring techniques, spoilers?, not really but hey

A/N: Rogue One was great, but I needed this in my life. So yeah, have some shameless angst and smut! Eternal thanks to @coldsaturn for fixing the mess of words I threw at her, she is a godsend of editing <3

ao3


Jynn remembers the desperate hug on Scarif, remembers clinging to Cassian and knowing that they were going to die. In that moment, before the pain and whatever miracle lifted her from death into suffering, she was absurdly happy. Because they had won, and they had found each other. He needed her, in his holding her hand, and his grip strong on her back. It felt good to be needed, and to want him and be able to hold him. With death bearing down on them, there were no consequences, no reasons to hold back.

The end she’d been expecting never came, though. It continued to hound her for a long time, far too long, and she can never quite shake the feeling of it gnawing on her spine. A remarkable recovery, the doctors had all said, and the med bots had informed her in their weird way of comfort that she had beaten their probabilities. It had been agony, running from death, but every day she had gotten one step closer to actually being alive again.

When she had been unable to hold back tears from the pain and the helplessness of her situation, she had wanted Cassian, needed to feel the calluses of his hand holding her again. One day, she had even fallen low enough to ask for him, in a strangled voice warped by agony.

“Captain Andor is unavailable.”

That was all the med bots would say, and she stopped asking them. She wouldn’t risk turning to a real person because without death consuming the horizon, there are consequences for wanting things, and for needing people they are always dire. She couldn’t impose that onto Cassian. For him to recover and to go on living, she couldn’t want him, couldn’t need him.

She is a curse, she convinces herself as she slowly regains the ability to walk, and to breathe without pain. She is a curse, and if she cares about Cassian the way she knows she does, she has to avoid him.

Keep reading

Okay, okay, so I started thinking this morning and now I cant stop thinking about this

So, Neil ends up spending a lot of time with Allison and eventually gets curious about makeup
So he asks her to teach him
So he eventually gets really good at it
And he wears it a lot, but its usually pretty subtle
Foundation and concealer, eyeshadow, maybe eyeliner, a little mascara, and a pinkish nude lipstick
But sometimes he’ll go all out with winged liner, a bold lip, false lashes, and contour and highlight
He looks like a literal queen

On days when the makeup he’s wearing brings out the blue in his eyes Andrew asks “yes or no?” more often
He secretly loves it when Neil wears makeup

And so one day he asks Neil to do his makeup
And Neil agrees hesitantly
Because that means Andrew will have to be okay with sitting still for a bit while Neil touches his face
But Andrew is okay with that because he’s curious and he trusts Neil

So he eventually ends up with a face full of makeup
He looks amazing
With dark red-almost-black lipstick and dark eyeshadow to match the black of his outfit
And winged liner
And flawless lashes and contour
He loves it
But he wouldn’t dare say that
He just says 320% and walks away

Later that day he asks Neil to teach him

theres a fuckjkjing typo but i cant fix it its too late kill me

i didnt plan on doing anythin for valentines day but @ubercharge‘s recent hanzo valentines spree inspired me.

that being said i couldnt get a good joke and i gave up on the details as u can see by my very wisdom-y words : “fuck this dragon” also ft me ugly art

2

Some fucking asshole completely shattered my window. It’s worse now all the glass as fallen into the door and I have absolutely no money to fix it and its illegal to drive until it’s fixed.

So ill be taking commissions, my bf will help me have it up by today.

Thank Fuck it smashed my window and not my brother. He was sitting there when it happened and it just missed him…

3

alright, im done, i promise, but like, Lindsay and Meg are bae, and there’s way too much dick in this set before, so i just had to fix it, and yeah so here’s team free willy with their shitty police lights (and also, is now a good time to admit i don’t know how to draw a firearm?) and then the gents and lads, and its all good now.


check out my fanfic about these fucks, and all their fuck-y shenanigans, on a03, at The City Is At War

galactic-cheesepuff  asked:

and with how badly the writers botched the abuse allegory it honestly makes me feel bad for liking lapis bc honestly ever since her first appearance she was like a comfort character to me??? but tbh i blame it more on the writers with how they fucked up her character (and during moments like this i also remember: "oh wait i have my own lapis redesign maybe i could fix her character with that lmao")

yah i feel you lol. im glad lapis did admit that she really did something fucked up but how its worded really bugs me honestly and i wish they would just let her say “i crossed the line and it wasnt right” over “im just gonna call it a relationship now (even though it was clearly established since they fused that it wasnt and so far it treats it as lapis was the one forcing jasper to stay in the relationship which makes it hard for me to sympathize with her on but whatever)”

Losing You

Summary: Y/N makes a wrong judgement and has to fix it, but will Roman give her the chance to?

________


I should have been used to it by now, but I wasn’t. Having a boyfriend whose life I shared with the public definitely had its drawbacks. The biggest was coping with rumours or just news about him spreading around the world. Sometimes I found out things after everyone else, which sucked because I always preferred to hear it from his mouth, but timezones were fucking us up and that was simply beyond his control.

This one, one of many, I wish I hadn’t read so late before bed. I was feeling down and out already, feeling sorry for myself, but now I had a legitimate reason to be mad and cry.

“Roman Reigns and Sasha Banks get cosy at WWE’s Royal Rumble afterparty…” the news read.

I didn’t need to read on, the pictures alone were telling. At the party, Roman and Sasha sat closely, smiling into her phone and her arm around him at one point as they took a selfie.

Then there were two more, one of them was blurry; but their figures stood outside the party venue. Roman towering over her and saying something in her ear. The last, they seemed to be heading somewhere, Roman following behind her.

“The WWE stars were last seen leaving the party, a source disclosed that they were heading back to his hotel.”

I didn’t sleep that night, tossing and turning as those pictures came to life in my head, playing like videos. I wanted answers, I wanted to speak to him, but I knew he was asleep. I shouldn’t have cared so much then; why should he sleep peacefully whilst I struggled?

I reached for my phone and scrolled through for his number. If we could call each other at 4am to speak and flirt for hours, then I could sure as hell call him at 2-something to confront him.

There was no answer the first time, I tried again. If he wasn’t going to answer, then heck, I was going to harass Dean or all his friends until I got a hold of him.

“Hu…llo?” He answered groggily.

“It’s me,”

“M…m..mh?”

“Roman!”

“Whaaat..?” He replied sleepily.

“Wake up,”

“I’m sleeping.”

“Not anymore,” I scoffed. “Is it true?” I dove straight in.

“Yeah it’s true, speak to you tomorrow-” he said dismissively. He didn’t have a clue what I was talking about; he just wanted to go back to bed.

“No, is it true what I read in the papers?”

“What?”

“You and Sasha?”

“What about me and Sasha?” He sounded confused. I didn’t buy it.

“You know what I’m talking about, don’t play dumb. You and Sasha at that party,”

“Y/N, are you drunk?” he asked hesitantly.

I read it before somewhere that cheaters always displaced the blame on the other person, or put the focus on something else. And he was trying to do that, like I was stupid.

“No, I’m not fucking drunk! I’m asking you; is there something between you and her? Did you take her to your hotel?”

“No, what the fuck? Listen, where did you get this from?”

“It’s in the papers, magazines, internet…social media,”

“Oh of course, we believe what they write now? Okay, well you ask them since they know and you trust them.”

“I saw the pictures,”

“Okay, then there’s your answer,” he said stubbornly.

Bastard.

Fuck him.

“I’m going to bed I’m not entertaining your shit at this time,” he spat angrily.

“Don’t - if you fucking hang up this phone, we’re done Roman. I mean it.”

He paused. “I think we were done from the moment you accused me of cheating. Have a nice life, we’re done.”

“ROM-”

Motherfucker.

“Thank heaven you’re here, he’s been a nightmare since you two supposedly broke-up. Please talk sense into him,” Jey, his cousin, his confidant and best friend said to me, greeting me backstage at the show along with his brother, Jimmy.

“Right? He’s just biting everyone’s head off for no reason,” Jimmy added.

I’d arranged it with the twins behind his back to come to the show to talk to Roman. I missed him. The last week had been hell. I wanted clarification, or closure, I wanted answers. And if we were breaking up, I didn’t want to go out the way we did last week. I wanted it to be amicable, I still loved him. Really though, it was bullshit, I wasn’t ready to let him go. I’d come to fight my corner. Fight for him so to speak.

“On a scale of 1-10, how mad is he at me?”

“I’m about on 20, off the radar,” his voice was unmistakable.

The room went silent, tense. I looked down nervously, playing with my hands in my lap.

“What’re you doing here?” He asked. “We’re done remember? I don’t want you here.”

“Aye, Jimmy, let’s go grab a drink,” Jey suggested in hopes to escape this dreary scenery.

“No I’m okay, I’ll wait for you,”

“No, let’s go grab a drink,” Jey repeated firmly between clenched teeth, trying to pass on the hint.

Jimmy kissed his teeth and stood up grudgingly. “We’ll be back in a minute, y'all want a drink?”

Roman didn’t answer. I could only imagine his face.

“Y/N?” Jimmy asked.

“I’m-”

“She’s not staying,” Roman spoke for me.

“Don’t flatter yourself, I didn’t come here to see you,” I changed tactics.

I finally turned around to face him and he was seething. His expression was dark and sinister; I wondered what he’d have said to me had his cousins not been around.

“Aye bro, please, let’s just go,” Jey insisted with frustration.

“We don’t-”

“Jimmy please! Get the fuck outta here?”

“Rude! See what I mean he’s been so bitchy lately?” Jimmy complained to me as Jey led the way out. “I’m only going cos you said ‘please’ Romeo.”

“I don’t want you here,” he said finally when our company had disappeared.

Like a thousand sharp knives in my chest, those words hurt when he repeated them. I didn’t want to cry in front of him either,besides, I’d done plenty of that the last week, so I held my head up high.

“Did you hear what I said-”

“Yes! I fucking heard you Roman, but I’m not going anywhere.”

“What do you want from me? Don’t play games with me, I’m not in the mood. One minute I’m cheating, the next we’re done, now you’re here…what do you want?”

“Don’t raise your voice at me, I’m not a child,”

He glared at me, a stone cold expression.

“And don’t look at me like that to intimidate me like you do your peers in the ring, I’m not one of them,”

He said nothing, but his face softened slightly. He was starting to crack. The bricks on his walls falling off one by one.

“You need to go,” he said calmly, quietly.

“No, I’m not going,” I stood my ground.

“That’s what you think, y'know what? You better be gone by the time I’ve done my segment. I have no problem getting security on you, you can deal with that harassment lawsuit when it comes,”

It was so serious and tense, but I almost laughed at that statement. He was being petty and dramatic, and I could start to see through him. He was torn between trying to stay mad and being happy to see me. I felt the same, I leaned more towards the latter however.

“You’d really do that to me?” I used my sweet voice. “Don’t be dirty,”

He shrugged and flashed a killer sarcastic smile, the one designed to haunt your thoughts.

“I’ve been called worse: a liar…bastard…cheater. Sticks and stones baby.” he repeated the words I’d thrown at him angrily on the phone.

“Well, I had reasons to at the time,”

“Oh, so you’ve changed your opinion of me? I’m so glad,” he mastered sarcasm so well.

I began crossing the room to meet him, he started backing away subtly.

“No, you’re gonna change it, tell me what’s going on with you and Sasha?”

Now I had him backed against the wall, literally and metaphorically. He rolled his eyes and puffed a breath of air, running his hand through his hair. I missed playing with it.

“You tell me,” he said.

I didn’t take the bait. I just looked at him. He looked at me. We just looked at each other, a fight to see who’d crack first.

He sighed and rolled his eyes, his head against the wall.

“I saw the pictures,” he said in his normal conversational tone. “I get it, they are very convincing, but it was literally just me and her chilling, as I was with Naomi, Rene, Cameron - y'know? Someone just thought those pictures were worth a story, without even thinking or caring about how that impacts me…or you. It’s about a story, money, and entertaining people who care enough about what I do in my private time. And I was hurt that you believed it, I know I haven’t been home much, but I’m with you here,”

He pointed to his chest.

“You occupy my every thought, even when I’m across the world. I don’t think about other women, I don’t care to. I’m with you. I’m yours in every way possible, mind, body and spirit.”

“Why didn’t you say all this before?”

“Because I was angry that you doubted me,”

“But if you told me this earlier, I’d have listened. I needed to hear that,”

“You called me at 2am, no one’s reasonable at that time,”

“What about after? I was scared I’d lost you, I wasn’t sleeping, I couldn’t stop crying-”

“You were crying?” He asked with remorse in his eyes. I immediately regretted mentioning it, it broke him. He hated seeing me cry, let alone knowing of it and not being there to comfort me. “I didn’t mean to make you cry,”

“It’s okay, I was wrong. I jumped to conclusions, I’m the one that should apologise, that’s why I came here. I was being unreasonable, but I wish you reached out to me too. I’m sorry for being so pissy and dramatic,”

He pulled me closer, closing the gap between us.

“That’s us sweetie, we’re dramatic,” he smiled, holding me at the waist. “We are hotheads, we’re imperfect, we’re flawed…but we are us, and I love us.”

I giggled, smiling against his lips as he lent down for a kiss.

“I love us too,” I said, before he engulfed me into a full kiss.

“When I finish my match I can prove to you how much you mean to me,” he said with a dark tone, his eyes piercing into mine, lust firing them. “Show you that I’m yours,”

He took my hand, placed my palm flat against his chest, “It’s yours,” he said. He trailed my hand lower, kept going until it rested on his groin area. “It’s all yours,”

I felt warm and delighted, the tension alleviated off my shoulders, the stress and worry of losing him vanished. I had him back.

No, actually, he’d never left. I’d never lost him. He was right here. Always. As usual.

ok for real, does anyone know how to get rid of fucking numbing/tingling/pinsandneedles fucking feeling in the hands????? I’ve had it since last night, on and off for a week and I saw a doc for it this morning and he just took blood. I still have the fucking feeling right now and im so fucking frustrated it hasn’t gone away. Its starting to get harder and harder to pick up/hold my kid so this is a pain in the ass. Idk if its anxiety related or thyroid related but i seriously need a fucking fix for this problem.

Im pretty sure we’re no longer a system & its fucking me up a lot
People kept suggesting that we try to reintegrate but we never, ever wanted that
Now its fucking happened involuntarily and i dont know how to be me anymore. I dont want to have to.

At some point i should get to a real computer and fix our- MY -fucking about page

If anyone else has been a system or known anyone else who has but is now singular again i could really use some advice and/or reassurance.

10

WIP-

So I was working on the loose crop sweater for a couple of days now, and naturally the mesh gets fucked up in the actual game…Tries not to murk everyone in a 10 mile radius. 

Its literally the cleavage and shoulder area the game will not fucks with. (Anybody really good with clothing meshing and wanna help me fix it?) 

I’m probably gonna have to trash the sweater cause I don’t feel like messin with the damn mesh anymore. I’ll use the textures for something else I guess, I had so many cute textures, cries.

UGH.

On the other hand I have some other cute shit done :) If you couldn't guess its oil spill collection part 2: MER-BABE

  • each design of item will have multiple colors (waaaay more than whats shown) 
  • and before anybody try to ask, its a custom skin/skinblend im using, no u cant have it. Look all this nice free shit u getting soon, you can’t have it all bish.
  • also bomber jacket for my squad in the making, its a surprise :)
  • oh and glitter/hologram boots for everyone too. oh and rhinestone chokers, also surprise, lol I cant sop making shit xD its all fun and games till I have to take fookin preview pictures.

Jaffa Factory: *something happens*

Xephos: oh. Its ok we can fix it we got this don’t worry.

Honeydew: oh..shit.

Lividcoffee: HAHAHAHAHAHHA

MoonQuest: *something happens*

Xephos: LOOK JUST SCOOP UP THE FUCKING OIL WITH YOUR HANDS AHHHH!

Honeydew: OH shIT

Lividcoffee: HAHAHAHAAAAH

HoleDiggers: *something happens*

Xephos ignores it

Honeydew builds giant pants

Lividcoffee: what happened? Hello??

NOW.
Druidz: “I’m a Druid”

FLUX BUDDIES: “KIIIIIIAAHHHM??!?!!??!”