and i feel indigestion then i ask why

Request: Wrong End Of The Stick

Request: Can you do a dean x reader where the reader’s friend takes a pregnancy test and turns out to be positive, and Dean sees it thinking that the reader is pregnant.

Word Count: 905

Here it is, I hope you like it. Thank you!:)

“I’m so happy for you!” You grin, embracing your friend. Her and her fiancé have been trying for months and only now had she fallen pregnant. She’s slipped over to the bunker to do the test, not wanting to risk him seeing it.

“I’m going to go tell him.” She breathes, exhilarated.

“Go for it, girl. Call me later, okay?” You insist. She nods.

“I wouldn’t dream of doing anything differently.”

You see her out, still smiling. You’re honestly incredibly happy for her- she’s going to be the most perfect mom.

You head off to the kitchen, finding yourself a mug of steaming coffee. You hear footsteps behind you.

“Hey, Dean.” You smile, turning around. He comes over and plants a small kiss on your lips.

“Hey, beautiful. Why so happy?” He asks. You shrug.

“Ah, it’s all good news today.” You say, sipping the pleasantly warm liquid.

“Care to tell?”

You mime zipping your lips, “Can’t. Maybe later.” You feel like the father of the baby would be better suited to knowing before anyone else. Dean, however, only frowns.

“What are you planning?” He narrows his eyes. You shake your head.

“I’m not planning anything. I just can’t tell you right now. Trust me?”

He sighs, and nods, “Alright.”

“Thank you.” You reach up, pressing your lips to his. He smiles, an arm going around your waist.


It’s a couple of hours later that he starts acting weird. You’re researching. You walk back from a bookshelf, a few, pretty heavy volumes in your arms.

“Let me.” He insists, taking them from you and placing them on the table. You smile.

“Thanks.” You say, placing a hand on his upper arm affectionately. That’s when you notice that his eyes aren’t on your face, rather somewhere south.

Generally, you don’t mind. You’re at a stage in your relationship where you’re fine with him looking. Sometimes, you’ll look too. But the look in his eyes makes you frown.

“Dean? You alright?” You ask, bending down a little so his eyes meet yours.

“Huh? Yeah, I’m good.” He smiles, moving his gaze back up to your face, “Just…uh…thinking.”

“Whatever you say.” You wink, nudging him with your hip. He laughs weakly as you sit down and start looking through the first book.

The next time he does something weird is towards the afternoon, you get a spot of indigestion. Rubbing your stomach, you head off to find a drink or something to soothe your stomach.

“What are you doing?” He asks, leaning against the countertop. You hadn’t noticed him approach.

“Getting a drink. You want one?”

“Sure, what are you getting? Beer? Whiskey?”

“Feeling more like water today.” You say, “I’ll get you whatever you want, though.”

“No, no. I don’t want you working more than you have to be.”

“You’re sweet,” You laugh, kissing his cheek, “It’s no work.”

Handing him a bottle of beer, you take a sip of the cool, refreshing water.

He’s looking at you funny again, as if you’re hiding something. You raise an eyebrow.

“What’s up?”

“Nothing.” He replies quickly. You roll your eyes.

“If you want to talk about it…”

“I know, I know.” He laughs.

Just under an hour later, you get a call back. Typical Dean, he listens in through the door. You have no idea, of course.

“How’s it going?” You ask. She’s still deliriously happy, “Oh? How was it?…I’m just so excited, it’s going to be great…what are you talking about? You can do it!…nooooo!…” You laugh at her reply, “Don’t worry, we’ll get fat together. Solidarity, right?…Not a chance. No… We have to do that!…Oh, yeah… yeah, I’ll let him know tonight. Okay. I love you. Speak later?…Alright, bye.”

It’s later on, close to midnight, when he finally comes clean. You’re lying on the floor, on your stomach, reading through a thick volume, when he comes in.

“Hey- hey, should you be doing that?” He asks. You frown.

“Doing what? Reading?” You ask, somewhat confused. He sits on the couch, beside where you’re sprawled on the floor.

“No, uh…lying like that.”

“On my stomach? Why couldn’t I?” You’re genuinely confused. He sighs, running a hand through his hair.

“I saw it, alright? The test.”

“What test?”

“The little white stick that had the little pink cross. I’m not totally stupid, I know what that means!”

You press your lips together for a second, then laugh.

“Oh, God. Alright. I know what’s happened.” You laugh, sitting up. He frowns at you.

“What are you on about? This isn’t-“

“It’s not mine, Dean. It’s my friend’s. She was here this morning.”  You smile, “Really. Not me.”

“But… how do you explain… the not drinking? And you were holding your stomach?”


“The phone call. You said something about ‘getting fat together.’”

“Yeah, I was kidding. I don’t plan on gaining any weight so she feels better, that’s silly.”

He sighs, mostly relieved.

“You’re absolutely sure you’re not…?” He asks. You nod.

“Unless we’ve got the second coming on our hands, I’m clean.” You reassure him. He laughs, offering you a hug. You gladly go into his arms.

“You had me scared there.” He admits. You only laugh.


“I just…I didn’t think…. I don’t know. The whole idea, it scares me a little.”

“Don’t worry, me too. Let’s wait a while before we think about it, okay?” You ask, leaning your head on his shoulder. He nods.


Chapter 32


- December 24, 2013 (Christmas Eve) - 

“Oh, I feel so fat.” I whined as I rubbed my small belly. I was getting bigger and bigger as time passed. Plus, I was having more symptoms from this pregnancy. I’m gassy, I have indigestion, I’m bloated, my breasts are sore and tender, and my waist is getting larger. This baby was kicking my ass!

“Here you go, Mrs.Claus.” Chris said as he walked out the kitchen with a container of ice cream and 4 packs of mozzarella cheese.

“Mrs. Claus?” I asked, taking them from him. “You calling me fat?”

“No, I’m not calling you fat.” he replied.

“So, what are you saying? Why did you call me Mrs. Claus if you aren’t calling me fat?”

“It’s just a joke, Leah.” he said, sitting down beside me.

“I don’t like your joke.” I replied with a serious tone. He looked over at me and smiled.

“Cheer up, Grinch. It’s Christmas Eve.” Chris said. I rolled my eyes at him as I sat the cheese sticks beside me and opened the top off the ice cream. I smiled down at the Strawberry deliciousness that I was about to devour. Lord, I was about to be in heaven! I grabbed the spoon and dug into the creamy ice cream, my mouth watering at just the sight. I closed my eyes as I took a bite of the ice cream.

“Mm!” I moaned as my head fell back. This was so good! “Mmm!”

“Are you having an orgasm?” Chris asked. My eyes popped open before looking over at him. “I mean, I’m just asking.”

“Shut up.” I replied before mean mugging him.

“Bad ass attitude.” he mumbled as he looked away from me. See, things like that hurt my feelings. I don’t have a bad attitude, I just have bad mood swings. It’s not my fault. It’s…it’s his! Yeah, it’s his fault! I poked my bottom lip out as my eyes began to water. Chris looked over at me and let out a loud groan.

“Oh my God.” he said aloud.

“You did this to me!” I cried out.

“No I didn’t, Leah.”

“Yes you did! You n-” I stopped in the middle of my sentence once I saw London and Maurice slowly walking down the steps. Once they got to the bottom, they stopped and looked from Chris to me.

“Mommy?” London asked, rubbing her eye once she saw that I was crying.

“Your Daddy is being mean to me.” I said, looking at Chris. Chris mouth went wide open as he looked at me.

“What the?! Why you lying?!” he yelled.

“Why are you yelling at me?!” I cried. Chris groaned aloud before putting his fingertips on his temples and massaging them. London ran over to me and hugged me around my neck. “Thank you, baby.”

“Bad Daddy!” Maurice yelled before giving Chris a light smack on the hand. Chris looked down at Maurice like he was crazy as Maurice proceeded to quickly walk over to me.

“It ok.” Maurice said, kissing me on my cheek. “Luh you.”

“Aww, I love you too, baby.” I replied before giving him a light kiss on his cheek.

“I’m out of here.” Chris said as he angrily got up from the couch and stormed up the steps. But I have the bad attitude? Hmph! Whatever. London and Maurice sat in Chris’ spot and looked at me.

“You guys want some ice cream?” I asked.

“Yes.” they replied in unison. I smiled as I scoop a bit of ice cream from the container and began to feed the both of them. I love my babies….


“Santa is coming tonight! He’s coming to my house! For meeee!” Katie sang as she twirled around in her Princess & The Frog Nightgown. I smiled as I watched her dance, sing, and twirl around the house.

“Who is that making all that noise?” Lamont asked as he came out the kitchen. He smiled once he saw Katie in front of the TV singing along with Spongebob.

“Santa’s coming tonight tonight. Santa’s coming tonight.” she sang. Katie then turned around and looked at me.

“Mommy, can you get me some hot chocolate. Please?” she asked. I nodded as I pushed myself off the couch.

“Sure, sweetheart.” I replied, getting up from the couch. I walked into the kitchen and walked past Lamont. I looked back at him to see him looking down at my butt.

“Lamont.” I said, causing him to look up at my face. He rose his eyes brow up at me before letting a light chuckle. "Mm, hmm. That’s what I thought.“ I turned around and proceeded to open the cabinet door and tried to get Katie’s small mug from the top shelf. I stood on my tippy toes and reached up high, but I still couldn’t reach it. I grunted as I wiggled my fingers towards the cup. "Damn.”

I then felt Lamont’s hand on my hip. I gasped as I looked behind me. He smiled as he pressed against me more, causing his boner to rub against my ass. I bit down on my bottom lip as I felt myself getting wet. Lamont reached around my hip and stuck his hand down my shorts and into my underwear.

“Mm.” I moaned quietly. He ran his first two fingers over my lips, making me tingle and shiver. He then stuck his index finger between my lips and ran it up and down my now soaking wet pussy. I closed my eyes, leaning my head back and trying my best to keep quiet.

“You like that?” Lamont whispered into my ear. I nodded my head as I slowly moved my hips in small circles. He let out a light chuckle as he pressed down on my clit.

“Ooh, shit!” I yelled out loud. Lamont placed his hand over my mouth as I rose up on my tippy toes more.

“I’m gonna fuck you so hard tonight.” he whispered in my ear.

“Daddy?” I heard Katie ask. My eyes popped open and I immediately got of my tippy toes. Lamont took his hands from inside my underwear and dropped his hand from my hip.

“Yeah, what’s up baby girl?” he asked. I turned around to see his finger with my wetness on it behind his back.

“Oh my God.” I mumbled under my breath.

“Mommy, you okay?” Katie asked. I shook myself from my thoughts and looked down at her.

“Um, yeah. I’m okay.”

“Where’s my hot cocoa?” she asked.

“Oh, I-”

“Here you go, baby girl.” Lamont said, grabbing a cup hot cocoa from the microwave. He kissed her on her forehead before handing it to her. “Be careful, it’s hot.”

“Ok, Daddy.” she said as she carefully walked out the kitchen. I let out a sigh of relief once she went back into the living room.

“That was a close one.” I said. Lamont turned around and placed his fingers, the ones that I has orgasmed on, into his mouth. I watched in amusement as he licked and sucked them clean.

“Yeah, I close one.” he replied before winking at me. I’m getting pregnant tonight….


“Why don’t you come on through here, ma’?” Jacob asked through the phone. I let out a short laugh as I put a piece of hair behind my ear. I then let out a cough and sniffled.

“Now, why would I come out in this weather when my nose is stuffy and my throat is dry?” I asked.

“Because, you love me.” he replied.

“Mmhmm, whatever.”

“Girl, you know you love me. You and Kayla used to have fucking oceans in ya’ll panties every time y'all saw a nigga. Go on and admit it.” he chuckled. I bit down on my bottom lip before pulling the heavy blankets over my cold and shaking body.

“Ok, ok. It’s true.”

“I knew it! I knew that shit!” he yelled over the phone. I burst into laughter, but shortly after, the laughter turned into coughing.

“Damn, you need some fucking medicine.” Jacob said.

“I know I do.” I said in between coughs. About a minute later, my coughs had died down, but my throat was on fire.

“Ouch.” I groaned as I rubbed my throat.

“The fuck wrong wit’ ya crybaby ass now?”

“Shut up, asshole! I told you, I’m sick. My temperature is high, my body is hot but I’m cold, my throat hurts, and I have the sniffles.” I explained.

“I told you, come by here so I can take care of you.”

“Shid, you just want to fuck Jacob.”

“How’d you know?”

“I know you, Jacob.”

“True, true.-”

*crash!* I heard through the phone.

“Jacob?” I asked

“I'ma call you back. This bitch over here just did something stupid and I need to put her in her place.” he explained, sounding aggravated and pissed off at the same time.

“Um, ok.”



Before I could finish my sentence, Jacob hung up the phone. I kissed my teeth and rolled my eyes before placing my IPhone 5s on the charger and turning my bedside lamp off. I snuggled up to the comfy blankets more. Lord, I need a miracle to get over this stupid ass cold….