and i doubt i ever will

Bad Reputation 2

Originally posted by illumegeoff

Pairing: Shawn x Reader

Request: Part 2!!!

Warnings: Angst? Y’all should know by now lolol

A/N: I hope you guys like this!!


I stood by the apartment window looking out into the city, it’s been a long time since I’ve actually been out there. I don’t mind staying in the apartment but I just want to go outside without getting fingers pointed at me, and names being yelled at me.

Keep reading

In my mind, there’s us and you aren’t here to just leave.

You whisper in my ear and I don’t cough up your words the next day. I wear your favorite color and you don’t look away.

In my mind, you don’t kiss me to forget and I don’t shake when you touch me and we are closer than ever before. I don’t remember why I ever doubted us.

The lights don’t stay off anymore. You know how to touch me while looking me in the eye and I know where to place my hands without making you push them away.

You don’t leave. I wake up and you are here, and you don’t leave. I’m not scared. I’m not scared. I’m not scared.

— 

A.M // In my mind You’re Here to stay

anonymous asked:

Where did you watch super junior’s SNL with English subs? I can’t find the full episode

Well the ones I’ve been watching were uploaded on YouTube but I doubt they’d post the whole episode w cc 

But here’s some more clips……..some might not have English subs but hey you’ll be dying anyways lmao

((his moaning I literally kenNOT^))

anonymous asked:

do you think 1D will ever speak about what they've been through now that so many other celebrities are talking?

I want them to. I saw the rumor about Simon Cowell laying low until he could negotiate to stop someone from going public about him. I wanted it to be 1D. The climate is right to air him out.

But I’m very doubtful. Are any young celebs speaking out? It seems they’re scared or stuck in bad contracts or still caught up in something abusive or all of the above. It’s a shame because we know the younger stars are the most vulnerable to every kind of exploitation. Truth be told, I think what we don’t know about 1D’s story is worse than what we do know. There’s a zero percent chance they weren’t harassed by somebody. They were too high profile, too young, too green and too pretty to escape a predator’s notice.

There’s safety in numbers. I think if there’s a snowball’s chance in hell of 1D saying a peep about what they’ve really been through, other Simon survivors need to speak out too. Like Weinstein, it needs to be a group effort. Steve Brookstein spoke out years ago about Simon wanting him to participate in group sex and then retaliating when he spoke out. If freaky, ugly shit like that happened once, other freaky, ugly shit has happened, trust. I know the guy can be a dick, but if he’s telling the truth (and I think he is) he deserves vindication like any other victim. There’s always hope…1D please speak your truth, if you’re ready.

You used to claim that no one would ever love her the way that you did. Despite what you think, I’ll admit that you were right. Since you left, no one has loved her as little as you did. She has an entire galaxy glowing in her eyes from being loved the way she deserves to be. Something that you could never do and something that she still doubts will disappear one day because of you. Your words left scars that are healing little by little. There are no more tears running down her cheeks. I don’t have to try to subtly look for marks of pain on her body because I know I won’t find any. I am not scared of losing her to a bottle of pills if she spends a night alone. I don’t know if it made you feel powerful to know you could control someone like that, actually it probably fucking did. There is no more coming back for you now. Every time you’d leave, the door would be slightly open in hope that in the middle of the night, you’d crawl your way back beside her into bed. Since then, the locks have been changed. You don’t hold a key to her heart anymore and I hope it makes you suffer. I hope you stay awake at night regretting the moments you could have loved her but decided to yell at her instead. I hope you see her smile in your head and knows that someone else is making her laugh louder than I ever heard you do. You think you have some kind of right over things you’ve touched before but let me tell you something, I will never let you wrap your fingers around the porcelain that I spent so much time gluing back together. She isn’t something that you can break anymore. I promised to her, as I held her as she cried over you, that it would be okay and it ended up being okay because you leaving wasn’t the end of it. It was the beginning of her life. She never needed you. You are nothing else but poison and like any kind of toxic waste, it took a little bit of time before you were out of her system. I hope you know this, there aren’t any strings you can pull on anymore. She is free and happier than I could ever dream of when she was with you.
—  No more dancing with the devil pt.2

Sometimes I wonder why I even bother hoping anymore. You’ve proven irrefutably that you have no intentions of ever answering my letter. You’ve cast into doubt every single conversation I have ever had with you, every compliment and sweet word directed my way.

I’m left questioning everything you ever were to me and everything you claimed I was to you. Did you ever care about my happiness? Did you ever adore me? Was I actually precious to you? Or was I only ever good for sexting, someone you could easily manipulate the emotions of to get what you wanted?

I feel so naive, so fucking foolish. But I meant every word I ever said to you. It doesn’t matter what you think, it was real for me.

— 

Despite all of this, the largest part of me still loves you. And I hate myself and you and my stupid heart for this. I just want it to be over.

I no longer care about some imagined magical fucking reunion with you. This isn’t a fucking fairytale and there are no happy endings. I just want to know the truth. I think I deserve that much from you.

4

TAROT CARDS AGAIN. 

You know, as someone who studies literature and storytelling, there’s a number of things I think anyone interested in reading or telling effective stories need to know–if you want to study Western Lit, you HAVE to have a decent working knowledge of the bible, for instance. But tarot has, up to this point in my life, never figured into that for me. It doesn’t come up a ton in lit, it seems to be more driven by visual media which isn’t a think I’ve studied intensely. 

Also I don’t think in media a lot of the time the actual meanings of the cards parallel according to whatever tarot guide you’re consulting, or for me it hasn’t been super useful. 

ANYWAY, tarot cards showing up is a basic media shorthand for “spoopy stuff” in most of my experience, SO I AM READY. 

a-space-witch  asked:

I'm just checking but I'm pretty sure you didn't post a badly edited version of your "4 Female Characters to Avoid" list to "ljbnovelswritersblog" on wordpress, right?

Oh, wow.  I don’t want to jump to any conclusions, but I looked it up, and it looks like this is definitely a case of plagiarism.  

For my other followers, as a point of reference, here is my post on Female Characters to Avoid in Your Writing, and here is the 4 Female Characters to Avoid post published on wordpress (NOT by me) today.  The similarities are pretty damning.

I’ll definitely be sending this person an email and politely asking her to either credit me or take the article down. 

Thank you so much for pointing this out to me, as I seriously doubt I would have ever seen this otherwise!

anonymous asked:

What would you say to a young paladin who started out idealistic and, if we're being honest, kind of naive but has gradually become more and more cynical and jaded from enduring trial after trial and facing evil after evil with no end in sight, BUT is still determined to press onward and preserve all the light that they can despite, or even in spite of, their ever growing doubts? What advice would you, as Tarek, give such a paladin?

None. What advice would I give that he hasn’t already heard? But I would take a moment to have him pause, and look back, and shine a light on the past, so he can see the good he has done, the lights he helped ignite, great and small.

It matters. It all matters in the end.

anonymous asked:

Even tho i don't agree woth some of your toughts, youre one of the most gentle people ive ever seen ♡

Thank you!

I doubt anyone on here agrees with everything I have to say (because even my wife doesn’t!), but the important thing is that we respect each other’s opinions*


*where they don’t invalidate other people’s identity, existence or rights.

9

My pictures from Bachelors Grove, the path to it, and the quarry pond behind it. It ended up raining. I feel a little shaken but I literally just finished reading a book about this place yesterday, so the legends and history are fresh in mind. I went here once with my dad when I was 15, during the day on a weekend in October. So there were many other people and nothing felt at all weird. I was completely alone there today. There were corners I couldn’t get myself to walk through. A squirrel chattered really loudly and scared the crap out of me. The pond was full of ducks.

I doubt I will ever see the infamous disappearing house or the hooded figures or the weird lights; you couldn’t catch me dead here at night. But today felt just a tiny bit on the side of uncomfortable. I’m not stupid; I was in the forest, there was wind, it had started sprinkling. It very easily could have been a twig from the breeze that hit my back. It just felt significant enough that I immediately turned around, I don’t know. But I grew up so scared of this place that I would cry when we drove past it, and I’m proud that I was able to just stroll in by myself. Don’t know if I would do it alone again, though.

anonymous asked:

Do you think they're ever going to explicity mention Cas being Jack's father again? I thought this would be the episode if they were going to do it, but I guess not

I honestly doubt it? I mean, WE got that, and Sam knew, and we’ve been able to infer that Dean knew, and I can’t imagine Cas doesn’t know… but I don’t think reiterating it is actually relevant to anything? I mean, people were afraid it would become the “Raising Baby Jack Show” or My Three Dads or some sort of nonsense, and it’s been clear all along that that’s not what the show was doing or becoming, so no, I really doubt it.

But it set up that theme of fatherhood, which is continuing regardless of whether it’s discussed in those sorts of basic terms again.

Plus, Jack’s officially left the nest now. He’s gone out into the world on his own, and they’re about to have MUCH bigger issues to deal with than the father thing, you know? It’s established that Jack is officially considered a member of the family, even getting lumped in with Team Free Will 2.0. He’s been given equal status, in a way. We’ll have to wait and see where they go from here.

Because I do know that his actual father– Lucifer– is gonna be looking for him too. So that may be one reason for them to bring up Cas as his ~chosen~ father being more important to him than Lucifer as his birth father. We shall see. :)

2

Let’s talk this panel, aka the moment I went all in on this book, shall we?

The top panel was released about a month ago as a preview, and the bottom is the one that appeared in the book. If the actual panel had appeared in the preview, I could have saved myself months of (admittedly irrational) worry.

Literally just the inclusion of “stories” (and myths and legends later, ya gave yourself a bit of a dramatic upgrade there buddo, I love it) in that list completely erased any doubts I may have had about the book. Most books Loki has appeared in since the end of AoA have stuck with the old “God of Lies” moniker, so it’s nice to see Loki actively and publicly including the new title whilst monologuing. “Publicly” being the real shocker, since I feel like he’s been playing this card close to the chest (he is playing double [triple {quadruple?}] agent in a big ol’ war after all) ever since returning from the Secret Wars void.

Then of course there’s this beauty, the climax of a scene that perfectly encapsulates Where Loki’s At: confident but uncertain, trying to make friends even as he grounds all of NYC’s magic users for being mean to him, asking for them to respect his place as ‘one of them’ while also shoving his godly/royal credentials in their faces. But this time “God of Myths and Legends” usurps all other titles, erasing lies and mischief completely. This is who he is. Everything about Loki is (mostly) a performance, but this is a pretty damn convincing “this is me” moment.

This book is obviously about Stephen Strange, but seeing as it’s the most we’ve seen of the Bad Kid since AoA ended, I’m excited to see if it dips a toe into exploring more of what the “God of Stories” title could mean on top of the shiny new Sorcerer Supreme one.

as my understanding of politics and ecology has been pushed to shift and expand this semester, so too has my understanding of my own gender and position as a subject. this is also the first time in my life i can ever remember having even a shred of doubt about whether or not i want top surgery. 

part of this has been grappling with top surgery would/will mean for me. top surgery will affect, if not how i view myself, certainly my social location and how i am viewed by others. i am not a man, have never identified as a man, and don’t want to be assumed to be a man. but i’ve also never entered spaces explicitly for women or lesbians, even though i feel solidarity and kinship with women, because i didn’t want to interlope or take up space. 

i was reading anderson’s analysis of feminist epistemology for class last week and kept coming back to: in this framework, would i be considered a woman? should i be considered a woman? do i want to be considered a woman, in any context? there aren’t answers. the longer i’m on t, the less i feel totally severed from womanhood. i’ve stopped feeling comfortable with nonbinary as a label (for similar reasons as to why i never felt comfortable with genderqueer - with the connotation it currently carries, it’s not an accurate reflection of my experience), but i feel comfortable and joyous in my identity as a transgender person.

a-space-full-of-dust-and-death  asked:

There's a peach in my class and, I dont know what to do, I think I'm in love;-; She sings everytime at anytime, even if we are on class and she hugs me sometimes and I dont know why, she just arrives and does it and I love it. Yesterday she talked to me and we started talking about musicals and I love musicals and... Oh, lord, I really like her but I think that I dont have any chance to be with her): She likes moulin rouge):

she sounds so pure omg I love her! hugs are the best always. honestly don’t doubt yourself, sometimes the seemingly impossible is very impossible. keep me updated, I’m here if you ever need or want advice ♥️

anonymous asked:

I don’t know how people can bring themselves to hate Max after playing BtS, like she was one of the original reasons we all fell in love with the game and now just because we know she didn’t contact Chloe after she was forced to move away (probably due to anxiety/guilt), she’s suddenly seen as the worst person ever, even though she does EVERYTHING she can to save Chloe in LiS and make up for her absence. I really hope we find out the reason she didn’t contact her in ep 3/farewell



It’s been a sad after-effect of Before the Storm that I doubt Deck Nine saw coming. They’re putting faith in their audience to look beyond just what we’re seeing, the same way the original game did – but in this case, people have SUCH a hard on for Chloe, they can’t seem to help themselves but focus entirely on what she is up to, her perspective (which is why this prequel exists with Chloe as the protag, because they KNOW everyone is so in love with her).

Max not being good at responding, or just phasing out of Chloe’s life, can make sense but without us seeing or learning about her perspective, it comes across as more flat and rude, uncaring, than is in Max’s character.

I think it was a good idea to stray away from this more in Ep2 and focus more on Chloe and Rachel (the good AND the bad), but I hope the next two episodes can somehow tie this all together, because it would be pretty weird to leave that unresolved altogether.

I’m frustrated by how Max is getting sidelined out of her own franchise and as much as I like what Deck Nine has been able to come up with for the story so far, I’m still nervous as to how this will conclude, and I still don’t think this prequel was the best decision for the franchise. We’ll see if the next two episodes can justify the whole thing better. EVEN IF that bonus episode is great, I’m actually confused as to why it’s “farewell,” why it’s a prequel to a prequel leading up to them separating. I’m really puzzled by how they can present that episode as an actual narrative that adds special meaning to everything else – it’s totally possible, I’m just wondering how they can make it work when we’re led to believe BtS will not end anywhere close to where LiS1 begins.

mrsninac-blog  asked:

Does one of your rec lists have a category that is about the boys breaking up, then getting back together? or what other categories would it be under? I feel like reading something like this but I don't know what tags would be best to find it under. Thank you for any help.

Hello!! I haven’t personally made a list like this (and I doubt I ever will because I tend to avoid heavy angst), but here’s a good one from @yetanotherdrarrylist

I would try searching the tags “making up” or “getting back together” or possibly “reconciliation” :)

This is for the #meetjsecommunity project!  I can’t draw so I made some photo edit aesthetics! The answers to the questions are in picture form and also typed as well!

1.Q:Name, Age, Country? (I always like seeing country Cus it’s incredible how widespread the community is sometimes)

A: My name is Melissa, I am 21 and live in the United States! :)

2. Q: Appearance? (For all you artists you can draw some pictures of yourselves!!) 

A:The picture is me holding my best fanart of @therealjacksepticeye I think I’ve ever done.

3.Q:Hobbies?

A: Quite literally anything in the creative spectrum! I play piano, I draw (although I’m not fantastic at it) and I love writing as well!

4. Q:What is your dream job?

A: Acting! I have HUGE dreams to be in a musical theater production on Broadway someday, (although I HIGHLY doubt that’ll happen) or even to just do improv as a job!

I skipped 5.

6.Q: How would you describe your personality?

A:Creative! And also painfully introverted when I’m not on stage. Shocking I know.

7. Q: When did you find Jack’s channel?

A: I found it in October of 2015 through Felix’s game, Legend Of the Brofist actually! Best discovery I’ve ever made :D

8. Q: Put in order your top 3 favorite Egos!

A: Anti, Jameson Jackson, and Hendrick Vonn Schneeplestein


9.Q: 
Favourite/ most nostalgic video/series of Jack’s to watch? (Multiple answers are fine, I know I’ll find it hard to answer)

A: 1 off game: The Beginner’s Guide. It’s so easy to relate to me and to how I feel. Series? Probably a tie between Undertale and Night In The Woods! I love both those series to death!!

I skipped 10 as far as photo aesthetic goes because I wasn’t sure how to put it into photos but I’ll answer it.

10. Q:Would you describe yourself as an active member or a quiet member of the community?If you’re an active member, what is your favourite part of what you do? Do you write fanfiction? Fanart? Theories? Or do you just enjoy chatting with others? 

A: I’d like to consider myself as an active member! I enjoy interacting with all you lovely people and joining in on discussions. I also from time to time set up and participate in little projects as well and that’s probably my favorite part of it. It brings us all together and it’s always fun to stretch my creativity out and see what you all have to contribute as well! :D 

Thank you @no-strings-puppet for this awesome idea and I can’t wait to see what everyone else does for the project! :)

3

at first i just wanted to practise expressions but then it got out of hand :D