I trust nobody who says queer is a slur or says not to use it. They sound like a Terf and i dont fuck with terfs. And at the very least are adopting terf rhetoric and being willfully ignorant. Its always cis gay people saying this stuff too
A lot of people on tumblr are probably too young to remember this but every time I see arguments against the word queer I’m always reminded to back in the early 2000s when the most common slur used against us was not queer but gay.
This was SUCH a major problem and the use of gay as a slur was so widespread that there was an entire campaign made to get people to stop using it as a slur—celebrities who used gay as a slur got major backlash and had to go on Late Night shows to apologize, there were commercials on tv, posters in schools, a whole thing made specifically to get people to stop using gay as a slur.
Through alllll of that though? Literally I never heard a single person suggest that gay people should stop calling themselves gay. Never was it suggested that people should censor the word gay. Never was it suggested that people should stop using the word gay except to stop using it in a negative manner or as an insult. The onus on gay no longer being used as a slur was completely on the people who were using it as a slur, gay people were never painted as the ones who needed to change because it was clear that they were not the ones doing something wrong, and that campaigning? It worked. There are still people out there who use gay as a negative word, don’t get me wrong, but it’s certainly not as widespread now as it was then and the awareness campaign probably had a lot to do with that.
And it just continues to strike me as totally odd that the debate over the term queer is happening on a total opposite level—the answer people have to queer being used as a slur is not to get people to stop using it as a slur but to apparently censor and punish queer people for being queer. The onus on change happening is not being put on the people who are doing something wrong (i.e. people who use queer as a slur) but on people who aren’t.
(Meanwhile, however, these people totally forget that not that long ago gay was being thrown around as the slur of choice, that many people have the same negative connotations with the word gay that they do with the word queer, and yet you KNOW that if anyone ever asked people to tag the ‘g slur’ that they would be going off in a hot minute and talking about how unfair that would be)
And to stop going off and actually finally reply to your message: queer IS a slur but it is not ONLY a slur. It has, on a large level, been reclaimed through many painful years. That doesn’t mean that EVERYONE has to reclaim it if they don’t want to or that people aren’t allowed to be uncomfortable with it being applied to them (because you don’t have to and you can be) but you cannot pretend that queer is, only ever has been, and only ever will be a slur and you cannot pretend that the work that queer people have put into reclaiming it and making a positive out of it did not happen because it did and it’s disrespectful as fuck to pretend otherwise.
And, yeah, a lot of the argument over the word queer—as well as so much of the 'disk horse’ quite frankly—is TERF rhetoric. That doesn’t mean that everyone who perpetuates this argument is a TERF (because they’re not) but r*dfem ideology is an honest to god poison that has infected tumblr and so many people who have consumed it don’t even realize it. They get fed this shit, they believe it because the people who feed it to them are very good at wording their shit in a way that makes sense to people who don’t know any better, and then they repeat it not realizing what the root of it is.
Anyway, here is an additional link to a decent post to read about the word queer if anyone is interested and I want to make it clear that while I won’t use queer as an umbrella term for the entire LGBTQIA+ community (because I respect how people identify and do not identify) and I tag all posts as #queer, I am not going to stop using the term entirely, I’m not going to stop making posts directed at/for queer people, and I’m not going to censor the word. It’s totally valid for people to be uncomfortable being called queer because they have negative connotations with the word but it’s important for people to realize that they’re experiences are not everyone’s and that just because something makes you uncomfortable does not mean that that something should not exist.
The answer to gay being used as a slur was not to punish gay people or to make them stop being gay and the answer to queer being used as a slur is not to punish queer people and make them stop being queer because someone being queer—using the word queer for themself, identifying with it, and finding positivity in it—is not a bad thing and treating like it is is to be ignorant of LGBTQIA+ history and to be callous towards other LGBTQIA+ people who identify as queer and who are not even remotely affecting you (much less harming you) by doing so.