and i dont care anymore cause im going to bed soon

Edge Of Glory: Part One

Summary: Your life takes a turn after you find out a night with Lance Tucker, turned out to be so much more than a hookup. In the past you knew Lance as your Coach on your way to your infamous career, he was no more than a quick night of relief - until now. Now with the news of being pregnant, Lance and his former gymnast fight to do what’s right - and learn the way of becoming parents, together.

(I suck at summary so if anyone can do better pls message me i’ll love you forever)

Notes: Cocky Lance, Pregnancy, cursing.

let me know what you think, taking requests for tagging! :)

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Woke Up Alone;Haechan

Genre: huge angst (im ready to make some people cry im sorry)

Request: @hqleetaeyong my babe requested this a month back for an angst haechan scenario so here it is skdmdn

A/N: i spent so much time on this omg dont kill me after yall read this please

*Warnings: de*th/depression

Word Count: 2,481


Nothing seemed to be going your way anymore-you were flunking all your class assignments and tests despite your constant efforts to revise and study, and all because of a small misunderstanding, your friends had turned their back on you.

The people you once could lean on and gain support from, were now gone.

The digits on the weighing scale added more salt to the wound, constantly reminding you of how you weren’t as slim as the people around you, and that you had lost many you once thought were worthy because of this small matter.

Nobody seemed to understand you. Once you thought everything was going well, it all fell apart again, leaving you at your most vulnerable.

You needed someone to hold you in their arms, remind you that you were loved and appreciated. And most importantly, you wanted someone who could give you love and comfort.

But you didn’t have anyone.

You couldn’t even trust yourself anymore.

You hated yourself more than anyone could ever.

You blamed yourself for everything that had happened.

You were completely alone.

But yet at the end of every day you found yourself lying on your bed, all curled up in the warmth of your own arms, thoughts running deeply in your mind. All you could do to make everything better was to assure yourself that it’ll get better.

At the end of the day, you could depend on no one else but yourself-

-as much as you hated it.


His face was etched vividly at the back of your mind, and you couldn’t help but think about him for the fifth time that day. His small and shy smile and laughter replayed in your head as you remembered how he reached out his hand excitedly to shake yours, then slightly bowing as he flashed you his bright smile again, his eyes forming into the shape of crescent moons.

Just this itself could make you smile, the first time you ever did genuinely in a few weeks.

“My name’s Haechan! I’m looking forward to working with you all hehe”

You remembered how he said that sentence in an excited tone, and behind his voice it was as though you could feel a small boy jumping inside of him, ready to fill your days with laughter and joy.

You found yourself smiling once again, before you snapped out of your trance as you catched a glimpse of yourself in the mirror seating by the bedside.

How long has it been since you last smiled like that?

How could a boy you just met today make you feel so happy and contented?

The next morning, you were more than excited to head of to the cafe for work- for the first time ever.

The lady dressed in full black, your boss, looked at you shock as soon as she saw you enter the cafe, then squinting her eyes, “Why are you here so early today, Miss Y/N, i thought you dreaded work? Is something up?”

You let out a small laugh before shaking your head, placing your bag in the usual spot in the staff room, “No, i just.. felt good today”

Your boss gave you a comforting smile, then pat your back, “I was joking. I’m glad that you are, i told you working in a cafe could help clear your mind hm?”

You smiled back at her. You were thankful and grateful for her care and concern towards you, and you only had her to thank for making you feel much better than you were a few weeks back.

She had noticed you completing blanking out in a bookshop near your house, and immediately asked if you were okay. Finally having someone to even worry over you, you couldn’t help but break down in front of her, a complete stranger at that time, and letting everything out that you had been holding in forever.

She completely understood, and promised to help you out. Which was why you were currently able to work as a barista in her small cafe, after she offered that it may help you get your mind off things a little.

And it did.

You put on your apron swiftly, then started to set everything up, preparing the cups and ingredients needed.

Not long after the door to the cafe opened once again, and you were met with the eyes of the one you had been thinking of the whole night.

His soft brown hair was slightly covering his eyes, and his dark brown skin seemed to glow under the sun. He caught eye contact with you and bowed slightly, the sides of his cheeks raising up, his eyes turning into thin lines again.

You returned a shy smile, eyes unable to leave him.

Your eyes followed him as he made his way to the staff room, then to the empty spot right beside you.

“Y/N? Good morning!” he waved his hands in front of your face, followed by a small giggle.

You stuttered a little, “H-Hi, good morning” before giving a small awkward wave back, causing him to laugh.

He shook his head then smiled to himself, “You’re so cute”

His words hit you all of a sudden, and you felt a tingling feeling throughout your whole body. Your cheeks started to burn as you tried quickly looked away from him, “o-oh.. am i?”

You closed your eyes and mentally slapped yourself for the words that just came out from your mouth.

Surprisingly, Haechan nodded his head, then held out a thumbs up in front of you, saying even louder to you, “Yes you are”

Naturally, your lips started to curl up as his words replayed in your mind over and over again, your heart quickening its pace every single time.

He was special, how could someone you only just met made you this happy?


“Y/N!!!!! I got us some chicken, open your door and stop sleeping you pig” Haechan’s loud voice rang through your whole apartment, as his fingers repeated pressed the doorbell.

You peered your head out of your room, eyes squinting at the bright light from the door, then letting out a groan and laying back in bed, “Just open it, it’s not locked”

You heard shuffling from the outside as you closed your eyes again, hoping that you could get back some of the sleep you lost due to Haechan’s shouting.

However, his voice rang loudly again, “Do you not know how dangerous it is to not lock your door i cant believe you did that, what if something happened to you?”

Haechan nagged at you as he shook your legs lightly, trying to wake you up.

But seeing that you had no reaction at all to his doings, he jumped right on the bed beside you, then attacking you with tickles, causing you to scream and laugh out loud.

After a few minutes of the ‘wrestling’, Haechan hit your arm lightly, slightly out of breath, then nagging at you once again with his now obvious irritated voice, “Wake up now please”

You turned to face him abrutly at his words, your smile slowly fading away into an expression of admiration as he was only an inch away from you.

5 months of friendship but you all had never been this close.

It made your heart race.

And there was a moment of silence

You saw Haechan gasped a little, his eyes falling from your eyes to your lips, his cheeks turning into a light pink as he got up quickly.

His voice softened as soon as his eyes met your gaze.

“C-Come out, let’s eat the chicken before it gets cold.”

You shook your head and covered your face to forget everything that had happened, but your heart wasn’t cooperating.

It was beating really quickly, and loudly.

Does he know i like him?

Does he like me too?


His arms were around your shoulders, your head on his chest. His soft and warm voice acting as a lullaby as he sang you a short tune. He was caressing your hair lightly, both of your breathings together as one.

“It’ll be fine, don’t worry” Haechan said those words to you for the third time that night, attempting to make you feel better after you started breaking down suddenly after being not able to sleep.

And you blame overthinking for it-your thoughts got the better of you again and you just started thinking of every single negative thing that had ever occurred to you.

Next thing you know, Haechan has rushed right over to your house immediately after getting your call, despite it being at a late 2AM.

You nodded your head at his words, wiping your tears once more, snuggling deeper into his chest as you wrapped your arms around his torso.

Someone was finally there for you when you needed it.

He made you feel appreciated and cared for, and you couldn’t thank him enough for that.

You felt comfortable in his arms, against his body.

His arms never left you once that night and you felt secure, and safe.

Only he could make you have that feeling.

You were deeply in love with him.


Just like any other day, you found yourself waiting patiently for him to walk into the cafe, face full of smiles and happiness, pulling the strings of your heart and making your day full.

Especially today, you wanted to see him the most, mainly because you had wanted to tell him something important-your feelings.

Your eyes would lit up in excitement whenever you saw the door to the cafe open, but would droop into disappoint when you weren’t met with the person you wanted to see most everyday.

Two hours later and he was still not here, and you were worried sick.

Is he not feeling well? Did something happen? He hasn’t been replying since yesterday.

Your eyes would quiver as you’d blank out occasionally, as your mind would drift off to think about where Haechan was and where he went.

He never skipped work once, even when he was sick, it was unlike him.

You tried calling him, but there no answer.

You went back that day feeling devastated, as though you had lost everything. One day without seeing him and you were back to the old you, how could you live without him?

The next day you went to work enthusiastic again, hoping that he’d appear. But he still hasn’t returned to any of your calls or messages.

After a long and tiring day of being disappointed countless times, you sighed and made your way back home, alone, unlike the usual days where Haechan would accompany you and fill you with his jokes and funny stories, turning you into an endless fit of laughter.

The third day, still no replies or his appearance. It was as if he disappeared into thin air.

Day of day you’d make your way to the cafe, holding on to the small strand of hope that he was going to come back, but none of it happened.

You were getting less and less and motivated, and you did everything with almost no emotion. You didn’t feel happy anymore, that is, without Haechan right by your side.

Your boss had noticed and she knew the reason why, and she knew she had to tell you sooner or later.

“Y/N, could you come here for a talk? We’ll stop work after this,” she called out to you softly, motioning you to seat beside her at one of the small tables.

You nodded without saying a word, then sat beside her emotionlessly, mind filled with thoughts of that one person.

The lady beside you took in a deep breath before placing her hand on your thigh, “I know you’ve been feeling upset lately.. and it’s because Haechan’s gone suddenly, right?”

You turned your head to her immediately at the mention of his name, then raised your eyebrows at her, “Yes, do you know why? Did he tell you?”

She sighed again, then closed her eyes, a look of remorse on her face, “You see… Y/N, Haechan.. he’s… gone”

You were confused at her words, as you furrowed your eyebrows together, your hand holding tightly onto hers, “What do you mean.. gone? Did he move to another country? Where did he go”

She frowned, as you could see her trying to hold her tears back, “You see, Y/N. Haechan, you thought he was that one kid that’s always happy right? Truth is he’s gone through much more than you and he’s actually really really sad inside. But he told me not to tell you so you wouldn’t worry, and i took him in here because he heard of you and wanted to cheer you up, because he didn’t want you to feel like him. He, was overwhelmed by a lot of things too these past months but he kept it from you. He couldn’t take it anymore and he.. went to a better place, at least he’s happy there. Y/N, please i know you love him a lot and he’s always so happy telling me about you and-”

You ran out of the door and onto the road after hearing all those words, your tears rolling down your cheeks endlessly as you didn’t want to believe what you just heard. You heard shouts calling out for you, but before you knew it, a huge blow threw you onto the floor and you were met with pitch darkness.


The wind from the air conditioning’s blowing strongly in your direction, making you hide even deeper under your sheets, trying to find warmth.

But nothing was the same anymore.

Outside your room were people talking and walking around, holding flowers or basket of fruits to visit their loved ones, each of their rooms filled with care, love and warmth.

But for you, your hospital room was filled with utter silence, other than the constant beeping from the heart rate machine standing beside you.

It seemed to be your only friend.

You room was cold, dark and empty.

No one was there for you, again.

His face was the only thing you could think of, as the memories that you two had spent over the past 9 months replayed in your head, remembering even the smallest detail.

Because he meant that much to you.

And he still does, but does it even matter now?

You wiped the tear falling from your swollen eyes roughly as you hid your face in your arms,

you were used to this

after all, you still ended up waking up alone.

Listen, I know Neil couldn't be sick when he was on the run

But consider this,

 -Neil knowing he’s not in danger anymore 

-he’s just a regular college kid now 

-he has a boyfriend

 -plays a sport 

-is kind of broke 

-and has a deal with the mafia

 -so CONSIDER Neil getting the flu

 -and so he tells Kevin he’s skipping classes

 - and Kevin starts lecturing him about how he has to do well in order to keep his scholarship and blah blah blah 

- but “Kevin I’m sick”

 - “I have to get better soon so I can practice”

 - (i am a sick child who must take advantage of the situation and be nursed back to health) 

- and Kevin’s all like 😷 🤢 😷 *spray* *spray* get the fuck away from me *spray* *spray* 

-so Neil just goes to Andrew and like 

-Andrew I’m sick 😷 

-“nurse me back to health” 

- and Andrew begrudgingly starts making some soup and brings it to Neil 

-who already got in bed and has a game playing on the tv 

-he’s seen the movies

 -and Neil’s like 

- Andrew have you ever taken care of someone THIs sick?

 - “feed me” i can’t move my hands im sick 

-and Andrew just … 

- puts the plate down and leaves 

-and Nicky comes back for class

 -and Neil has never been happier cause like 

- “Nicky I’m so sick” 

- “Nicky you have to feed me” 

- and poor Nicky just wants to be  a good friend so he starts making conversation and feeding Neil soup 

-but Neil’s not having that so he’s just like 

- “ok shut up I’m trying to watch this ext game here”

 -and then when Nicky leaves and Matt comes into the room 

-Neil’s like “Matt, my friend” 

- “I’m so sick Matt. Can’t even get up from bed” 

- and Matt, my poor boy almost has a heart attack 

- and he starts asking Neil what he needs and if he has enough medicines and what he can do

 - and Neil I swear to god 

- literally starts listing everything. He’s like:

 -hmm I heard there’s this really good exy documentary but Oh No, you have to PAY for it on Netflix 

- I ran out of soup and I heard soups supposed to make me feel better. And I don’t feel better Matt 

- Matt I can’t even do my laundry because I’m SICk and I can’t walk

 -and Matt

 -my poor boy is just taking notes on his phone and nodding FURIOUSLY

 -he’s gonna SAVE his friend 

-he starts driving to the nearest pharmacy 

-and listen this is really stupid and totally occ (maybe)

 -but imagine this scene unfolding 

-jUST PICTUre it 

- a sick Neil who can now be taken care of and who can experience what being normal is 

- don’t tell me the kid who saw his locker full of blood and only cared about his dirty uniform is not going to be melodramatic when he gets sick because he can afford to

Chapter One-The Beginning || This is our happy ending(Gallavich AU)

this is my first gallavich fanfic! I hope you like it.


Description Of story:What if there was no sami? What if sex wasn’t what started Ian and Mickeys relationship but a friendship did. What if Terry never caught them because there was nothing to catch? What if drunk Ian tells Mickey how he feels? In a world where Mickey is never locked up and feelings begin to come out, will Ian and Mickey get the happy ending they both always wanted? What about the rest of the Milkovich-Gallagher clan? Will their relationships last? Who knew so many Milkovichs would fall for Gallaghers.

Ian sat next to Mickey on the couch, they were playing Cod and having beers. Normal best friend things; except Ian hated it. Ian didn’t want to be friends with the blue eyed boy, he wanted to be so much more and so did Mickey.Mandy knew it, lip knew it, all of the Milkovich family knew it along with the rest of the Gallagher clan as well. They all knew it, they could all see how the two boys felt for one another, how much they cared for one another, that look that they gave each other, they all saw it but the two boys themselves.

Mickey looked at Ian, pausing the game. He could tell that Ian’s mind was far away, not even moving his hands to play the game anymore. “God he looks beautiful” He thought, before in inner south side thug came into his mind and started yelling at him for being such a fag, but he couldn’t help it. Not when it came to Ian.

When Mickey thought about Ian, he thought about the future, he’d think about what it would be like if he told Ian how he felt and Ian felt the same way. Which of course he didn’t. Mickey knew that Ian thought of him only in a best friend way, after 4 years of friendship, living together and both of them saving each other more times then either of them could count if Ian had felt something he would have shown the blue eyed boy right? Although Mick had an inner fight with himself as After saying all of that he still wouldn’t tell the ginger boy how he felt.

“Mickey?” Ian said, breaking Mickey from his thoughts.
“Y-yeah?” He asked, Mickey wished there was away to live in your thoughts, to make it so he could stay in the land where him and Ian were in love and nothing could change that

“The foods here silly” he laughed walking to the kitchen in the apartment they had shared.

“What have you been thinking about so hard?” He asked, looking at the boy as he had sat the Chinese food on plates before giving one to him.

“Many and lip, I can’t believe they are talking about getting married” he lied, although there was still some truth to what he had said. Lip had already asked Mickey if it was okay he ask Mandy the big question and Mandy had been talking about wedding dresses with Ian.

“I know, it’s crazy. But I’m happy for them, lil finally let her in and she finally let him in and they fell in love, kind of perfect ya know?” Ian went on, talking about how he couldn’t wait for the wedding to actually happen. He had adding something in about “I’d rather go with you than some loser who’s gonna et drunk and want to sleep in my bed after we fuck” which caused Mickey to almost choke on his food. “ it’s just as friends Mickey calm down” he thought to himself, little did he know he was wrong.

Lip and Mandy sat on their couch, her feet over his lap and his hands on her upper thighs, sitting and talking with a glass of win in Mandy’s hand and a beer in lips.

“I just don’t understand why Ian won’t say anything to him. It’s not like we don’t know they are head over heels for each other, why can’t they know?” Lip asked, taking a sip of his beer.

“well because both of them are scared the other doesn’t love them back, neither of them want to lose the other one. But don’t worry too much, it won’t last long I know that” she laughed, grabbing the bottle filling up her now empty glass.

“But they would be so much happier ya know? I’m tired of Ian’s bad days being because the one man he wants to be with doesn’t know and it ends with him getting drunk and crying” lip complains.

“I know you care about him, and I care about both of them. It’s hard to see them both be so stupid but neither of us can do anything, so I think we should just do extra kissing for them” Mandy says, putting her cup down and climbing on top of his lap.
“Ya know I think I’d be okay with that” Lip says kissing her causing a giggle to leave Mandy’s lips. God how he loved that giggle.

Back a few blocks down Ian couldn’t stand it anymore, the pain in his heart of not having the blue eyed boy, not being able to kiss him, to touch him, to tell him he loves him. How could he? How could he throw away a 4 year friendship because he wanted the pain to stop, he couldn’t. He needed Mickey in his life, even if he wanted so much more then a fucking friendship, not having Mick at all would be so much worse to him.

It was around 9 when he decided he was gonna go out to the bar, he needed a drink and to be out of the apartment for a while.

He made up some lie about meeting Mandy for coffee and left, not giving much of an explanation, which of course left Mickey wondering.

Once Ian got to the bar there was no time waisted, he ordered two shots and a beer and got the throat numbing drinks down as quick as possible, and it didn’t take long for them to kick in as he got drink easier on his meds. Before anyone could say anything he was dancing and acting crazy, but he loved it. There was no pain or sadness or even self hatred at the moment and he loved it.

Ian had spent the next 3 hours turning down every guy who came up to him. Normally he’d flirt, have some fun and do everything he could to get the milkovich off his mind and sometimes if he was lucky enough it worked. But tonight wasn’t one of those nights, he just sat there hating himself for never telling the boy how he felt about him.

Mickey had started worrying when after 3 hours of Ian being gone he hadn’t got a text or anything from either one, Ian nor Mandy.

Of course Mandy was busy with her soon to be husband and Ian was somewhere dancing with some guy, all of which Mickey had no idea, but he didn’t like it. He didn’t like not knowing that Ian was safe. It made him worry ten times as much.

After spending what feels like hours trying to get ahold of Ian and leaving at least 20 voicemails that Mick knew he’d have to explain as to why he was so worried about his “Friend”. Ian had called him.

“Heyyy Mickky” Ian slurred, obviously fucking hammered. Mickey knew right then and there that Ian had lied, that Mands was probably at home sleeping and Ian was god knows where drinking anything he could find.

“Ian where are you?” Mickey asked, trying his best not to let how pissed off he was in his voice as he spoke.

“Umm, the fairytale. but shhh don’t tell mickey"Ian said. Okay so he was more than just a little drunk.

"Stay there, dont move. Do you understand? Im coming to get you” He told Ian and Ian replied with an “Mhm”. No one will understand how fast Mickey got his shoes and coat on, getting in the car and going to save Ian.


After about two hours of driving, getting Ian in the car, getting Ian up the stairs and onto his bed, Mickey was tired as hell.

“Ian, why did you drink so much? You know that drinking this much isn’t good with your meds. Im worried” Mickey said pulling a pair of pajama pants from his dresser, waiting for the drunk boy to answer.

Mickey was in the middle of taking off Ians shoes when he started to speak “I was trying to forget. Forget that I love him but he doesn’t love me.” Mickeys heart began to hurt, he officially had no chance with the boy in front of him.

“I mean hes my roommate, my best friend, how could i expect him too? I see him everyday and its just a reminder that I don’t get to see him, that I dont get to wake up or fall asleep next to him, that I don’t get to bend him over-” Thats when Mickey stopped him.

“Ian, if you remember any of this when your sober.. Go talk to your roommate please. You’ll never know unless you try”

Let me make it up to you (Jooheon) SMUT

Originally posted by jooheonl

Request: Heyyy I really love your blog. Take your time with requests and you have a great blog! Okay im a ho for Jooheon smuts so can i request one where you two get in a bad argument and he see leaves for a little while, but when he comes back he sees you crying so he gets all dom yet really romantic and gentle to make up for making you cry. thanks~~

IM SO SORRY THIS TOOK FOREVER! Ill make it somewhat long bc I told you “tomorrow” but its been like 2 weeks i think…….

I hope you like it~~~

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

Nsfw RFA + saeran when they meet MC after a long breakup and end up in bed. if it's not too much trouble can you write on why they broke up in the first place and how they felt away from femMC.

oki, this turned more like short break ups and fckn sappy, im sorry if you wanted someone to mess up rlly bad, im weak and love them too much lmfao—also its very very long lmao sorry???


-he were the heir of a big company, and you were…well you

-the dinner with his dad had went terrible, his dad telling jumin how a corporate heir were not allowed to date someone like you. 

-when jumin got angry at him, he had threatened to make his brother/sister the heir instead

-you had a big fight that night, you could´nt allow yourself to be the cause of his ruin, couldn’t bear the thought of you being the reason he would lose the company he had put his everything into

-so you did the only thing you could do. you left him, even tho it would break both of your hearts, and you knew you would never be able to put your own shattered pieces together, you prayed that jumin would his. 

-every second apart from you feels wrong, and every breath stings his lungs 

-it had only been 2 days when jumin showed up at your door, begging for you to hear him out 

-”mc, you don´t understand, you are my everything, not my company or my dad. you. nothing matters without you. please don´t leave..please” his voice cracking

-you couldn’t hold back the sobs as you threw your arms around him, fingers clutching at his suit

-”im sorry, i love you..more than anything and anyone else” 

-you spend a lot of time just holding onto each other, embracing and sharing gentle kisses full of love

-the gentle kisses eventually turn more desperate, as clothing drop to the floor, one by one 

-it´s slow and desperate, filled with kisses, and loving words

-”never leave my side again” 

-before you know it, it´s morning and neither of you have slept a wink 


-he had been spending more and more hours working, and you rarely ever saw each other anymore, it was when you tried to convince him to take some time off when an argument arose

-zen yelling at you to leave him, and find someone better, someone with time for you. 

-with you, every working hour had felt easy and fun, he felt the hours had a purpose. now tho. he had to drag himself out of bed, and every second of the day, all he could think of were how you were doing, and if you were thinking of him, too. 

-he shows up at your workplace one day, his arms holding so many roses, that with every step he takes, a rose falls to the ground

-as soon as your boss lays eyes on the boy, she sends you home with pay, a smile playing at her lips. 

-you quietly help zen carry the roses to your apartment 

-”mc…listen…im sorry, i…my boss lowered my pay, bc he´s having financial problems, his wife just gave birth to a child and well…. and i had to work twice the hours to support us, and in my desperation is forgot who i was doing this for in the first place, i just wanted to be able to support you mc, you deserve that….so thats why…thats why i broke up with you…..” 

-before you have a chance to reply, zen is on his knees, begging you to forgive him with tears rolling down his cheeks” 

-everything is a blur after that, you somehow make it to the bedroom, frantically ripping each other clothes off between kisses. 

-zen bites as your lips, and you beg him to hurry up, bc you need him now. it´s over as quick as it started, and you spend the rest of the day wrapped up in each others arms.


-everything were fine, great even, for a long time

-but old habits die hard and jaehee has many bad habits, such as. not getting enough sleep, overworking herself to the point of exhaustion and not eating anything, instead getting trough by the power of caffeine 

-she´s becoming more and more snappy as she gets more and more stressed out, you´re trying to help her by making her food, but she say she doesn’t have time to eat. 

-it goes on like this for weeks until it finally explodes into a huge argument 

-you´re trying to make her understand that by hurting herself like this, she is hurting you as well. she´s accusing you of not caring about the cafe when you snap 

-”no jaehee, i care, i care SO much. but you know whats more important then the stupid cafe??? you are! so stop doing this, you haven’t even thanked me once, call me when you´re ready to change, im not sticking around to see you destroy yourself like this!”

-you slam the door behind you as jaehee sinks to the floor.

-only things doesent go as planned, you drop your phone on the way down the stairs, and when you finnally have it repaired two weeks later you have 40 missed calls from jaehee, and 10 texts. 

-one of them reads “im sorry mc, i didn´t consider how you felt at all, im so sorry, please forgive me, just this once” 

-you dont even lock your door behind you as you storm off to her place, where you´re met with open arms and a jaehee with tearstained cheeks 

-”jaehee!!! my phone! i dropped it!” 

-her only response is grabbing your cheeks to place a sweet kiss on your respond with a longer kiss, and your actions lead to the back of jaehees knees to hit the edge of the sofa. 

-you take your sweet time eating her out, savouring every little whimper that escapes her lips. 


-it´s been awhile since the truth about rika were exposed and saeran and saeyoung were reunited, only yoosung doesen´t seem to understand that talking about rika, especially around saeran is… not good….

-you´ve tried to talk to him about it on several occasions but he always brushes it off with a awkward smile and a half hearted apology.

-it´s not that you don´t understand that rika and him were very close, and that he really looked up to her, but the problem is that he seems to ignore the rika of now, and cling to the rika of the past. 

-it´s after another rfa dinner, when he had mentioned something about rika wishes to help others, and how they always volunteered together , resulting in saeran storming off to gods know where, when you decide enough is enough

-you practically drag him home, aplogizing to everyone on his behalf. 

-as soon as you´re inside you´re yelling at each other

-”yoosung no, shut up. you know what she did to saeran, you cant talk about the past rika like she´s still alive. she´s dead yoosung. gone. don´t bring her up in front of them, it hurts them.” 

-yoosung is still yelling at you, trying to defend rika, after that, he´s talking to dead ears. 

-”yoosung, you listen to me. im walking out that door, and im not going to any more dinners with you, until you´ve thought this trough. we can get you a therapist, anything you need. but. dont. bring. her. up. in front of saeran or v. see you” 

-he´s heartbroken, in pieces. the reason he contacts a therapist is not because he thinks he´s done anything wrong, but because he´s in pieces and have no idea how to fix himself 

-its about a month later when yoosung calls you, calmly apologizing, he´s been talking with a therapist 3 times a week, since you walked out on him, and has finnally come to terms with rikas “death. 

-you agree to visit him the next weekend. it´s like gravity pulls you together because suddenly you´re kissing, and yoosung is digging his nails into your back. 

-it´s awkward and gentle and perfect, you fall asleep with your fingers intertwined and your foreheads touching 


-everything is laughs and blushing, and pure love for the first couple of months. 

-saeran has moved in with you, and tho there are more bad days than there are good, you see in sevens eyes, how grateful he is to have saeran by his side again after so many years.

-one day, one of the bad days tho, saeran manages to get in contact with some mint eye members and they show up not 30 minutes later, armed and angry. 

-you break your leg but otherwise you all get away unscathed 

-seven had been acting weird since that incident, and no matter how much you probe he won´t tell you what´s bothering him

-one day when you get home, he´s gone, saeran too, there´s only a note 

-”im sorry i hurt you, please understand i love you.”

-it hurts him so much to leave, every mile apart from you feels like hell, but he cant let himself be the cause of your pain ever again

-you fall to the floor and scream in pure frustration and sorrow, he cant just leave you like this.

-they´re halfway when saeran speaks up 

-”you´re a fucking idiot, you know that?. you´re doing what you did to me all over again. you haven´t improved at all. you might think you´re being selfless, but you´re not.” 

-saeyoung hits the break and turns around. 

-when you hear the front door unlock, the hope you´ve been trying to surpress forces your legs to run out your room

-you don´t give saeyoung a chance to explain himself before you´re embracing him, sobs raking trough your whole body 

-”don´ever do that again saeyoung..please” 

-he has to basically carry you both to the bedroom as you refuse to let go of him

-”ssh sssh im so sorry….i wont run anymore, i love you more than anything in this world”

-you reply by catching his lips in a desperate and frantic kiss

-you´re basically ripping his clothes off, while he is gently removing yours 

-it´s all about your pleasure, and he won´t force you to let go of him, there´s more kissing and clinging than there is sex tbh


-you´ve both agreed to take it slow, and never rush

-saeran still lashes out sometimes, but his anger is like waves, it´s gone as quickly as it came

-he´s always like a child in your arms, when there´s only sadness left, and he´s blaming himself for all the cruel words he has spat at you

-this time tho, he told you to leave, more liked pushed you out of the door. 

-you´re hurt and confused and he´s determined and scared

-he refuses to let you be his punching bag anymore, you deserve so much better than him, you´ deserve someone like yoosung or zen even. not him. he doesen´t deserve you 

-it´s only when he finally spills the beans to saeyoung that he even considers there´s a third option. 

-his therapist told him to leave the room, whenever he were angry but you wouldnt let him….he should have just talked to you…

-but doesen´t make any move to contact you, having no idea how or what to say. 

-it´s saeyoung who calls you to explain the situation, and listens to you cry over the phone. he´s also the one picking you up 30 minutes later. 

-you knock on saerans bedroom door once. twice, before he opens up, expecting it to be his brother.

-his lips are on yours and your hand pulling at his shirt before a word is exchanged between you

-it´s not gentle, it´s hands grasping and nails digging in an attempt to pull each other even closer

-you pass out soon after, lovemarks from your neck to your thighs 

(1) New Message- The full Niam fanfiction

A/N: This is the fanfiction (1) New Message, which was originally on Insamtion but seeing as I deleted Insamtion and people really seem to love this fic with all of their hearts I decided to post it here for anyone to be able to view. People can put it on other websites again if they wish so long as they keep the credit that I was the one who wrote it. This fic means a lot to me, and it inspired me to become an author, but I will with my own characters.

So here it is and here’s the description: Liam had been depressed for a while, and completely refusing to do anything. He didn’t want to even get out of his bed because he was so upset with himself. But when he talks to stranger he learns that maybe he can be in control. Maybe he can change. — Niall Horan was just enjoying his every day life when he got a random message from a stranger one day. It didn’t take long for him to learn that the stranger needed help. But maybe it’s not the stranger who needs help. Maybe it’s Niall.

A Liam Payne/Niall Horan & Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson fic

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Letters to Friend - Calum Hood

They say time will heal all wounds. Writing does too.

A broken girl writes letters to nobody about the charming boy in English class.

Word count: 1k +

Disclaimer/TW: Mentions of tragedy…kind of heart breaking 

Calum Hood Imagine

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bpdkirb  asked:

URGENT -- im having a breakdown right now because i was stupid and wasnt as organizdd as i needed to be and i have a HUGE project due next week that will take me at least 30 hours to do (it takes normal people around 15) MINUS having to fix everything and i hate this so much im trying to focus and do well butnits not working something isnt clicking i want to do it but im not and i dont know why and if i fail this i fail bio for the whole year and ive already messed uo on so much stuff in that +

+ class for the same reason and i cant take it anymore if i cant even handle high school how can i handle the real world its pointless its all pointless i just. i need asvice on how to calm myself down and actually do work liek a normal person because im sick of being a freak who spends an hour crying in their room because they cant be normal like everyone else. just. help me please im at the end of my rope

Okay, deep breath.

Do it again.

Now, here’s why you’re not starting: it’s daunting. It’s a big project, it’s due soon, you are worried about doing well, and the freaking out has begun. So you are frozen in fear. To top it all off, you aren’t sure how to start.

Thing the first: you are not alone. We have all been there. Even neurotypical folks have this problem sometimes. So you are not a freak, you are not bad, you are not wrong, you are just out of your depth and that is okay and — get this — normal!

Thing the second: you probably can’t do your work “like a normal person” because you have ADHD. This means you need to approach things in a slightly different fashion from a neurotypical person. That’s okay! You do what you need to do in order to accomplish what you need to get done. That’s all that matters.

Thing the third: high school is freaking hard. Being an adult is easier in a lot of ways. Not all the ways, and there are a lot of different and difficult challenges when you’re an adult ADHDer, but there are certain things about high school that seem to be designed to freak us all out, make us totally lose our cool, and cause nervous breakdowns once in a while, if not all the time. Whoever made it like that probably thought it was a good way to make sure everyone could deal with pressure, but honestly it doesn’t teach us how  to deal with pressure effectively, it just turns us all into complete messes.

So, now that that’s out of the way, here’s what I want you to do with regard to this big project.

  1. Sit down at your desk and pull out a piece of paper, a calendar, and a pencil. It doesn’t matter what kind of calendar you use for this as long as it shows all of the days between now and when the project is due.

  2. On your paper, write down every single thing you need to do to get the project done. Break it down as much as you can, and include checking for errors. Don’t worry about the order you need to do it just yet. And don’t worry about how many steps there are, either; we’re going to take care of that soon!

  3. Count how many steps are on your list. Now look at your calendar and count how many days you have to get the project done. Divide the number of steps by the number of days. Now you know how much you need to do each day. You are now in control! Woohoo!

  4. Go take a five minute break. Don’t sit down during this break. Go to the kitchen and get yourself a snack that includes protein (celery and Cheez Whiz or peanut butter is a good choice, or a grilled cheese sandwich, or some trail mix that has lots of nuts in it). Fill your water bottle. Bring these things back to your desk so you have sustenance for the next stage. If you focus really well with background music, find the stuff that energizes you best and get it set up. You’re going to need it!

  5. Now that you know how many things to do each day, you need to go through the list and group stuff by day and in the order you should get them done. So do that and then take another five-minute active break.

Okay, so for the rest of this you are going to do the timer method. If timers freak you out, don’t use one for your work time, just use it for your breaks. The point is simply to take lots of active breaks while you’re doing your work. You can set yourself a time limit to work for, you can decide that you’ll get through one step before you take a break, you can choose to work just until you find yourself starting to feel too anxious to concentrate, or you can decide that you will work for the duration of one song in your playlist; the key is the five-minute long active breaks, which help reset your brain so that you can focus better.

Oh, and every time you complete one of the steps on your list, check it off or cross it off or something, so that when you look at the list you can see how much you’ve gotten done.

Here’s another thing I want you to do: get enough sleep. Please do not force yourself to stay up until 3.00 a.m. trying to get through your day’s allotment of steps. If you reach your bedtime and you haven’t finished, look at what you have accomplished, pat yourself on the back for working so hard, and rejig your daily allotment. You need to be in bed trying to sleep for at least seven hours (and for high school students that number is actually nine hours). If you have trouble sleeping, tell yourself a nice story about something awesome that might happen or could happen, or visit the what if of unicorns or something.

And the last thing I want you to do: eat lots of protein while you’re doing this, don’t skip any meals, and allow yourself about an hour each day to do something really fun (more if you finish your day’s steps early). You need fun and you need sustenance!

Good luck, and please let us know how it goes!



Ashton- I can be selfish// Yet so impatient // Im insecure // I make mstakes * May trigger *

I got home from a long day at work, and the first thing I saw/heard was Ash playing his drums. I was beyond pissed, it was eight o'clock and dinner wasn’t even started. 

“ Really Ashton ?! ” I yelled over his drums and he immediately stopped

“ What ?” He asked

“ Im hungry, and I am annoyed and I am done with all this bullshit ” I said 

“ What are you talking about ?” He asked

“ You have the whole week off and you don’t leave for a tour for another month but you cant even start dinner ?” I yelled

“ What is up with you ? Are you on your Period ?” He asked

“ No I am not! But unlike you I cant get the week off and sit around all day on my ass ! ” I yelled

“ Fine, I’m leaving until you calm down ” He yelled before grabbing his jacket and leaving. 

I walked upstairs and went to the bathroom to change.I walked to the bathroom and looked at myself in the mirror. I couldnt handle it, I hit the mirror, my fist was bloody and I was crying on the floor. 

Blood was surrounding me, but I didnt care. Glass was everywhere and in my hand. I was crying and I didnt notice that Ashton had come home. 

He ran upstairs and saw me, he was wide-eyed. He ran over to me and grabbed my hand. I winced in pain and looked down. I couldnt look in his eyes. 

When I did look up he was crying. 

“ Why, y/n ?” He sobbed. 

“ I have no idea, im sorry ” I cried. 

after he cleaned my hand he took me downstairs where he brought food home. 

Michael - Call it a curse, or just call me blessed // if you cant handle my worse you aint getting my best. *TRIGGER*

I was home, alone. Michael was at the studio and he was leaving in a month for a six week tour. I was feeling really low. I always had a problem with self harm and depression, I was suicidal. I felt like I had no other choice.  I hid it from everyone. I always seemed happy and when I was with Mike I was happy, but in the end the darkness was always there.  I promised I wouldnt go to the blade anymore but like always I broke that promise. I went to our bathroom and stared at myself in the mirror for the longest time. I hated every inch of my body. I ran the water in the bathtub and stripped to my underwear. 

I got in the bathtub and put my head in the water, I laid there. Waiting for death. I was slowly loosing conciseness. The blackness was slowly consuming me and the last thing I saw was Michael bursting through the door.

When I woke up, I was in the hospital. Michael was holding my hand and kissing it. As soon as he saw I was awake he stood up.

“ Why ?” Was the first thing he asked.

“ Cause I hate myself ” Was all I could manage before he nodded and walked out to get a nurse.

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Luke- Its like all the good things, they fall apart like….  

We were perfect, everyone loved us together. All the boys thought we were amazing, but behind closed doors we were horrible. We fought all the time and we said things, horrible things to each other.

“ I didnt cheat! and I cant believe you think I would! ” He screamed, I saw him with another girl and accused him of cheating.

“ I saw you kissing her ! ” I yelled

“ She kissed me and I pushed her away ! ” He yelled back.

“ Im so done wit your bullshit ! just tell me the truth ! ”

“ FINE, after I kissed her she took me home and we fucked, and she was better then you !” He yelled and that hurt. I started to cry and his face softened. He walked over to me and tried to hug me, but I pushed him away.

“I cant believe you ” I cried

“ and I mad at myself for believing you could be different” I said as I left our house.

I ignored all his calls to come home, and In a few days I did go home… to get my things. He tried to get me to stop before I lost it.

“ Luke, I am not making a mistake here, you are the one who made a mistake and now you have to pay the price, I cant forgive you, and you know that if you were in my shoes you wouldn’t forgive yourself either. So goodbye Luke, maybe next time you will realize what you have before its gone.”

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Calum - take me or leave me// Ill never be perfect believe me im worth it.

I had gone out for the first time in months, and I forgot how it felt to get drunk off my ass. I left calum at home and I went out. 

It was about two in the morning and calum kept calling me and asking me to come home. See we had a huge fight, over, I dont remember what. But I went out to the club and left him to himself. 

I was out until about four when i finally went home. I stumbled through the door and Calum was right there. He yelled at me for god knows what. I was tuning him out. He sighed before helping me up to bed. 

I fell back down at the top of the stairs and started laughing, I started laughing. Calum looked down at me and I looked up at him still laughing. But once I saw his facial expression I stopped laughing. He was pissed. 

He helped me up again and this time I didnt fall. I laid down and he walked away, he only got to the door until I told him to stop. 

“ Dont leave me ” I whispered, he sighed before joining me in bed. 

We cuddled and I said I was sorry before falling asleep.

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