and i don't want the last thing i posted to be angst

5

I Don’t Mean It Pt 5

Previous Parts: Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4

After dinner and with what Taehyung said, you were heartbroken. You believed his words, although you knew he would sometimes say things he didn’t mean when he was upset. But you knew inside that this time was different. He wasn’t going to ask for forgiveness this time around.

Did he even consider you his friend this entire time? Did any of them consider you a friend? Or were they really only nice because you had information about them. You loved each of them dearly, always wanting the best of them. Ever since they moved in next door, your life had changed for the better. You had always had a special place in your heart for Taehyung too. The way he made you feel when you were with him was indescribable. 

But it seems that all of it was a lie. 

“If he wants me out of his life, then that’s what I’ll give him” you say silently to yourself.


The award show season came and went by in a flash. And for some reason, Tae was itching to text you to tell you all about it. About how happy he was for winning awards. About how he wished you were there to celebrate with them.

But he dismissed any of those feelings and replaced them with his anger. He saw the other boys call and tell you the good news, but he kept his distance, not wanting to ruin their fun. 

A few weeks prior, the group’s manager came up to Taehyung regarding an article that a reporter was going to publish. Within the article was a detailed description of all the places Taehyung frequented in secret as to avoid the eyes of the public. In this article was a detailed description of all the small things that not many people knew about. 

Tae was of surprised. Where had this reporter gotten all this information? His manager had said that he had gotten this information from you when he found out that you both were neighbors. He said that you had received a sum of money for the information. Thankfully his manager had “stopped the article from being published” but he scolded Taehyung for being close with just some girl.

And with that, Taehyung was fuming. He swore never to tell you anything ever again and to have you out of his life. But a voice inside him told him otherwise and he couldn’t push you out completely. He still couldn’t. And he still didn’t tell the other guys yet because he knew it would have only distracted them.


A/N: I think I’m going to end part 5 here for now. I wanted to make this longer, but I’m going to hold myself back and keep it for part 6. What do you think is going to happen? Who wants a part 6? Let me know!! I also want to thank you all for the support once again. And thank you for understanding for when I didn’t post last night! 

anonymous asked:

Well, this is kinda angsty, but can I request a scenario where zen & mc are together and in the last rfa party zen slept with jaehee and after a few days jaehee couldn't deal with the blame and told mc in front of all rfa but MC pretended not to believe her (andthenrfa*cof*saeran*cof*tryingtocomforther). This is ridiculously specific, i know lolol but feel free if you don't want to do it, it's okay, or if you want to change anything just do it 😅 I love love love your blog and your writing ❤❤❤❤❤

Ok so this post actually ended up being realllly long and I don’t know how to do the ‘read more’ thing so I’m really sorry to anyone trying to scroll by
Oops 

And I’m so glad you like my writing, and I’m also really glad I got this request because at first I wasn’t sure how to write it (I basically ended up writing a fanfiction using bullet points haha oops) but I had a lot of fun doing it.

Disclaimer: I don’t think Zen would ever cheat and I actually don’t think Jaehee has any romantic feelings for him, just admiring adoration.

And I know you said I could change things
but it’s rlly angsty 
and I’m an angst monster and I kinda love it sooo i’m gonna keep it exactly how you wrote it  

let’s do it

  • Zen had always been flirty with you
  • And at some point..you had started flirting back
  • And soon it was more than flirting and you found yourself head over heels for each other
  • Constant phone calls too each other where you’d gush over how you wished you could see each other
  • Good morning and Goodnight texts
  • The occasional shameless flirt in the public chat
  • Once you two met at the first RFA party it was like a scene from a Disney movie, you two all but ran to each other and he swung you around once he snagged you in a tight embrace
  • Looking into his eyes you swore this could be love
  • He did too.
  • He really did swear he was in love with you
  • You were everything he had hoped and more
  • You were the person that woke him up everyday and put a smile on his face, you were the person that he thought of when love songs came on the radio, when he was on stage you were his muse, when he lay down to sleep at night you were the final thought in his head, and the first one in his dreams.
  • The next RFA party was a few months after you two had first met in person, only a couple months into your very happy relationship
  • You two had spent the first half of the night joined at the hip, happily enjoying each other’s company.
  • But somewhere throughout the nights timeline you both got distracted by separate guests and acquaintances and wandered away from each other.
  • Zen started drinking. Whoever he was talking to kept egging him on and the two of them were having a good ole time, which is rare for Zen in these occasions because the guests are usually upper class aristocrats like Jumin or if they are there for Zen, it’s as fans instead of friends
  • So he thought he’d treat himself
  • It got to be a bit much
  • The other guests were starting to notice and Jumin was not going to have the press covering Zen’s drunken gusto at an RFA event
  • “Assistant Kang,” Jumin sauntered over to Jaehee while keeping his eyes on Zen. “please escort Hyun to the back where he can cool down, out of the cameras’ lines of sight.”
  • “Of course, Mr. Han” And Jaehee was off. She was relieved that she had an excuse to get Zen out of the room, she too recognized the bad press that could follow this event but felt she hadn’t had the authority to tell Zen otherwise
  • But under the guise of Jumin’s will, she was able to convince Zen to head to the back so ‘Jumin wouldn’t bitch’ (in the words of the actor).
  • Soon it was just the two of them in the back room, Jaehee giving Zen water as he yanked at his shirt collar, complaining it was hot.
  • In his drunken shenanigens he managed to undo all his buttons at some point while Jaehee was getting more water, so she came back to shirtless Zen.
  • Zen knew those eyes.
  • As the assistant stared at his pectorals with a slight blush on her cheeks, he looked into her eyes and saw something
  • Adoration. Admiration. Want.
  • She wanted him.
  • Somewhere, deep in his psyche, behind the pseudo narcissist wall, 10 year old Hyun Ryu craved the attention. The positive attention his mom said he’d never get
  • He had you
  • But in that moment he had Jaehee too, and he couldn’t turn that down
  • Jaehee doesn’t even know how it initiated, she just recalls Zen pressing her against the wall and kissing her with a passion she’s never felt before.
  • His hands undoing the buttons of her shirt
  • His lips whispering praises of how she was not only successful, but also beautiful. And so sweet. And smart. And-
  • She almost cried. Someone as talented as Zen saw something so great in someone as plain as her? Impossible.
  • But he kept assuring her, and touching her, and loving her
  • Loving her the way he should have been loving you
  • The guilt hit her, but she watched it disappear as ecstasy took over
  • Zen passed out once they were both finished, pants undone and shirt wide open, but eyes closed and soft breaths flying in and out of his lips
  • Jaehee was wide awake though.
  • She was leaning against the wall, clothes messily pulled back on and tears threatening her eyes
  • The guilt was back and it felt like the weight of the world’s biggest mistake was sitting on her shoulders
  • She put her hands over her mouth as she stared at Zen, and she started crying when she thought of you.
  • “What have I done?”
  •  
  • After every party, the RFA gets together a few days later to go over logistics. What worked, what didn’t, who came, how to convince more people to come, etc
  • Jaehee’s heart dropped as you and Zen walked in together, a bright smile on your face, a blank slate on his.
  • No not blank
  • When Jaehee met his crimson eyes she saw it, the same thing he probably saw in her eyes: Guilt. Remorse. Regret.
  • She could barely stomach the feel as you greeted her and hugged her
  • “Jaehee! Good to see you! I feel like we didn’t get to talk much at the party thanks to someone making a little scene” As you pulled away you playfully rolled your eyes towards Zen. 
  • He just gave a nervous chuckle
  • Jaehee opened her mouth, ready to spill her guts, only to find it was dry as cotton. 
  • You gave her a quizzical look, ready to ask what was wrong, but Jumin’s voice interrupted with “Shall we begin?” looking pointedly at the three of you.
  • “Yahoo~” Seven cheered as he plopped down next to Saeran, who had recently been getting dragged along to all the RFA meetings, given he tended to just sit in the corner and pout.
  • Much like right now. He did little more than look at you and nod, which was as courteous a greeting as you were going to get with him.
  • Yoosung nodded, signaling everyone was ready, and the discussion began
  •  
  • You all were about 30 minutes into the conversation
  • Except for Jaehee
  • She couldn’t stop thinking about what happened the night of the party
  • She couldn’t stop looking at you and feeling guilty
  • She couldn’t stop thinking about telling you
  • “I need water” She stood up abruptly, startling everyone a bit
  • Jumin had a bit of an annoyed look on his face but conceded with “Fine. Quick 5 minute break for everyone”
  • Jaehee booked it to the kitchen
  • “Uh…I’m thirsty too.” Cue Zen bee-lining after her.
  • “Are you Okay??” He asked in a harsh whisper
  • “No I’m not okay!” Jaehee hissed back “We…we have to tell her.”
  • “No!” Zen’s eyes widened “No. You and I both know it was a mistake that will never happen again. She doesn’t need to know.”
  • “Zen if you love her-”
  • “I do love her!” He snapped back “I love her which is why I can’t lose her Jaehee. I know we messed up, I do. But..I can’t lose her over my mistakes” His eyes were pleading even more than his voice
  • Jaehee just stared into the crimson orbs, feeling the knot in her stomach grow. She just weakly nodded.
  • There was a moment of silence before she chugged her glass of water and turned to head back towards the living room where everyone was seated
  • She took a strong stride in
  • She bit her tongue
  • She was not going to-
  • You were the first face she met walking back in
  • Your smile welcoming her back to the circle
  • Your eyes cheery
  • Your heart open to her as it had been since the first day even when she treated you coldly.
  • Zen was right behind Jaehee and nearly bumped into her when she stopped dead in her tracks
  • “Jaehee?” You and he called at the same time, him due to her abrupt stop, and you because of the tears suddenly pouring from her eyes.
  • “Jaehee what’s wrong?” You rushed to her, attracting everyone’s attention
  • You caught Zen’s face from over her shoulder, his eyes wide. Knowing.
  • “M-MC” Jaehee choked out
  • “W-What is it?” You asked worriedly taking her trembling hands in yours
  • “MC” Her voice fell. There was just a moment of silence. Everyone in the room was looking, the outburst had even taken a hold of Saeran’s full attention.
  • “Zen and I…we’ve done something awful” 
  • You knew what she was suggesting but..no. No you didn’t. No way that’s what she meant you’re just confusing things.
  • “…What did you do?” You asked cautiously
  • Sniffling. Endless sniffling. You looked to Zen, who was pale and looked like he was also ready to cry.
  • “Zen…what happened?”
  • “I’m so sorry” He managed to get out before the lump in his throat clogged his vocal cords.
  • “At the party MC we- we had….” Jaehee couldn’t get the filthy three letter word out of her mouth
  • You dropped her hands and looked to Zen
  • “MC I’m so sorry” Zen repeated, his voice shaking even more
  • Everyone was quiet, waiting for your response
  • You had none. Just an empty stare and mouth slightly agape, waiting for words to come out of their own accord
  •  Finally they did
  • “This is a really cruel joke to play” You feigned a very obvious forced smile as your eyes blinked back tears “I never thought you guys would do such a thing..haha” You wiped a way a small drop ready to roll down your cheek
  • “MC!” Jaehee exclaimed “This isn’t-”
  • “Jaehee.” Your voice dropped. “I really don’t find this funny.”
  • “Neither do I!” The brown haired girl went to take your hand again but you pulled away
  • “And Zen” You turned to him “I don’t- I don’t know..how…” You couldn’t finish the sentence
  • They were everywhere. Pouring down your face, flooding your eyes, gathering in a small pool at your chin. It was an onslaught of tears rolling down your cheeks, choking your words, your thoughts, your everything.
  • “MC” Zen reached out to you, only to have his hand swatted away by yours.
  • You just stared at him and cried, forcing him to look you in the eyes as your faux smile fell to pieces. 
  • You felt a hand softly fall upon your shoulder, and you turned to see Seven looking at you, apologetic pity in his eyes. Saeran stood behind him, wearing an angrier version of his twin’s sentiment. 
  • “Let’s go for a ride, get some fresh air, huh MC?” The red head’s voice was soft
  • You softly nodded and let him guide you towards the door, not even able to muster up to energy to look back at Jaehee and Zen. 
  • Saeran did however, and he looked back towards the two with a face full of disgust, up until the moment he slammed the door
  • “what a good meeting” Jumin grumbled under his breath as he turned a disdainful eye towards Zen
  •  
  • You drove for a couple hours probably. Most of it in silence, but a comfortable one. You were in the passenger seat and Saeran was in the back, Seven at the wheel finding desolate roads and flying down them, giving the wind of your open window some sort of purifying feeling. It stung, but it felt good. Your hair whipped around and the land raced by and you occasionally sobbed but that was ok.
  • Eventually you found yourself back at the Chois’ place, sitting on the couch, staring at a TV playing a movie that you hadn’t been paying attention to for the last hour. Your mind was elsewhere, wondering what you had done wrong.
  • You looked at the carton of ice cream in your hand, only doing so because the sight of Saeran setting his own empty one on the coffee table had triggered you to remember Seven had given you your own carton to drown your sorrows in.
  • The redhead had actually gone out to buy more, so it was just you and Saeran on the black leather couch staring at the TV screen.
  • “Do you want this?” You offered the ice cream to Saeran who’s expression turned from bored to surprised, probably because you’d been silent for the past six hours aside from a sob here and there.
  • “You don’t want it?”
  • “I’m not hungry”
  • He stared at you and the carton for a second, his face unreadable.
  • He wanted to insist you eat the ice cream, because personally he found it to always make him feel better, but he figured you didn’t want to hear it.
  • He took the carton from your hands and placed it on the table in front of you two
  • Silence aside from the noise of the TV.
  • He cast a glance to you, only to find your eyes on the floor.
  • “doyou wantalk” You barely understood what he said it was so quiet
  • “What?” You looked to him
  • He thought you were asking out of surprise rather than inaudibility and “My therapist…he says that talking things out makes you feel better.” He looked indignant for a moment, likely remembering how stupid he felt when he rejected the idea only to find later that his therapist had been correct
  • “I…I have nothing to say” Your shell of a voice whispered
  • Saeran furrowed his brows at you. “Say you hate them”
  • “What?”
  • His voice raised a bit “You hate them don’t you? So say it. The therapist said talk about your feelings so start there. They’re scumbags who hurt you and deser-”
  • “No!” You’re voice hit a volume it hadn’t reached in hours. “I don’t hate them!”
  • Saeran was mixed with confusion and anger “What do you mean you don’t hate them? One of your best friends and your boyfriend fucked-”
  • There it was
  • Someone finally said it.
  • The hot tears made a return and began rolling down your cheeks as sudden sobs erupted from your mouth
  • Saeran was alarmed at the sudden show and tried to pinpoint the trigger. He supposes it could be his last sentence but it’s not as if it wasn’t something we all knew.
  • “I….I don’t hate them” You cried once the worst of the sobs subsided.”I don’t even think I want to hate them. I mean it’d be easier but…I don’t. Jaehee…it’s not her fault. She just..got wrapped up in it all. And she’s always liked Zen. How could she have said no. And he..he was drunk” You sputtered out your rationalizations to find that they only annoyed Saeran
  • “The Assistant should still no better. But fine. You know what? She’s not dating you, and clearly she triggered you finding out the truth. So let’s pretend she’s ok? What about the actor? I don’t care that he was drunk. There’s no excuse for him doing that!” The white haired boys voice had become louder and louder, fists clenching tighter and tighter as he began riling up old feelings of betrayal he once felt. “He abandoned you! He left you in the dust and for what? He failed you!”
  • You don’t know when it happened but Saeran had turned towards you and grabbed your hands, squeezing them tight in between his own. His mouth was contorted into some sort of snarl and you saw a fire raging behind his minty eyes. 
  • “Saeran..you’re hurting my hands” You squeaked out.
  • Your small voice dragged him out of whatever memory he was reliving and he sort of faded back into reality with a few blinks of his eyes before turning his attention to his hands. He let go of yours and in a flat voice uttered a “sorry”.
  • You guys were silent again, just staring at the floor, both living in whatever sad memory chose to cross your brains.
  • “You deserve better is all” He finally said.
  • “I know” You replied, voice empty of any real feeling.
  • You looked up, staring at the TV but not actually watching as a man on a horse offered a hand towards a young woman. “I just can’t stop thinking about him. About the him I fell in love with. Is he really gone?”
  • Saeran followed your gaze to the TV, looking on as the girl hopped on the horse. “I think so. That’s assuming he was the guy you thought he was at any point.”
  • “He was.” You said, a little defensive. Saeran looked towards you, watching your emotionless expression, knowing that there was a storm underneath despite the calm appearance. He knew because he often did the same, rocking a stoic appearance while watching all hell break loose in his own head.
  • “Is this the part where I say ‘It gets better’?” 
  • “Do you believe that it does?”
  • “Not a fuckin’ chance” A bitter smirk twisted his lips 
  • “I appreciate the honesty” You sighed
  • “Not in the way that we think it will anyway” He looked off into space somewhere.
  • “Hm?” You turned to him
  • “Everyone imagines that one day soon they’re going to wake up and suddenly it’s not going to hurt anymore. That there’s gonna be a day when you don’t think about this. You’re always gonna think about it. You’re always gonna wonder what you did wrong. Why God hates you. What things would be like if it didn’t happen.”
  • “You don’t think that there can be a day when it all feels ok?” You ask, partially to heal your hopeless heart, and partially because you see Saeran is projecting his own feelings and you’re curious to know how he feels.
  • “Maybe. I haven’t hit it yet though. Doubt I will.” 
  • You stared as he looked off into the distance, feeling as if you could see the scenes of his past playing in his eyes.
  • You were just about to recede back into your ball of depression and hopelessness before he spoke again and took your attention
  • “But that’s me. You’re…you, MC” your questioning look prompted him to continue “You’re…a good person.”
  • “You are to-” You went to say but he cut you off by turning and leaning towards you with a new intensity in his face.
  • “Not like you. If at all” He scoffed. “ You though, everyone loves you. And they’re right too. Because…” suddenly he stopped himself, seeming to turn a little shy.
  • “Because?” You wanted, no, needed to hear this.
  • He gulped down his fear and turned his eyes to the side, unable to look at you as he delivered his next few words, scared of you seeing through him even more than you usually do. 
  • “MC, you’re..everything. You’re smart, you’re cute, and you’re …kind. You always know what to say to help everyone. And that’s the thing. You try to help people, even people trying to hurt you…” His eyes turned back to you “You saw a good in me even when I didn’t. You risked your life to help my brother to save me. You’re…kind of like an angel.”
  • You just stared, taken aback by such kind words, from Saeran of all people. 
  • You were right to be surprised, he wasn’t usually this smooth in conveying his feelings verbally…there must have just been something about you that made it easy for him to talk.
  • “If it gets better for anyone, it’ll be for you, MC” He reached for your hand out of instinct, but pulled back instantly when your skin touched, as if he just realized what he was doing. His eyes did the same, it looked like he just realized how vulnerable he was in that moment, and a sort of wall was raised behind his irises and his whole body tensed a bit.
  • He was scared of being rejected.
  •  …
  • Your hand slowly reached out to his, which was floating in the space between you two, and when he didn’t pull back, you interlaced your fingers together. 
  • A look of awe decorated both of your faces.
  • “Thank you…Saeran.” The light of the TV bounced off your wet eyes, making them look extra glossy.
  • The boy just looked at you, wide eyed, apprehensive for a moment, then nodded and tightened his grip on your hand. It wasn’t the same anger induced bear trap grip from when he grabbed them before. Now it was just firm, reassuring, like a hug.
  • “MC…things will get better for you. If not? I’ll make them.” He gave a subtle squeeze of the hand, giving you the nostalgic feeling of a pinky promise.
  • “You already did.” You let your head, heavy from spinning and sobbing all day, fall on his shoulder.
  • He just looked at you for a moment, before taking a deep breath a pulling you closer, his free hand rubbing your back gently. 
  • Maybe he was wrong
  • Maybe things would get better for him too

anonymous asked:

hi ! i read through all your fic recs and i was hoping you might have some more ? i don't read smut myself, so i really like the ones you rec ^^

omg hi, sweetpea!! but yes, i do have some new recs in my likes that i haven’t been able to add to my recs page! also, thank you for giving me another reason to procrastinate from midterm studying, much love ♡

♣︎ blazing arrows by @daddychiminie

[ jimin x reader feat. jungkook | fluff, angst, future smut | supernatural au ]

part one. part two. part three. to be continued.

it’s a cupid au, and i really enjoy it so far. jimin is cupid and made a mistake by hitting you with an arrow, so he comes down to fix it, and i just really enjoy the playful bantering between the reader and jimin, and it’s so cute. the grocery scene is really adorable in part two, and i laughed way too hard at the magazine incident and the cart scene, oh god, i just really want a boyfriend to do that with me after reading that. AND I DIDN’T REALIZE YOU POSTED PART THREE SO BE RIGHT BACK, GOING TO READ THAT NOW.

edit: okay i have finished reading part three, and i’m on the floor from all the feels. i have never felt anything for jimin before, but gosh darn it, this is desperately making me want a hug from him. 

♣︎ the thing about love by @zephyoongist

[ taehyung x reader feat. jungkook | fluff, angst | college au ]

oneshot.

I’M STILL SO SALTY OVER THIS, PABLO. I WILL NEVER FORGIVE YOU FOR THIS. but anyway, it’s still so very beautifully written and i cry, why do you do this to me and my poor, nonexistent heart?? taehyung is such a angelic and godly human being, he doesn’t deserve this.

♣︎ why people fall in love by @zephyoongist

[ jungkook x reader | fluff | friends with benefits / fake dating au ]

oneshot.

because anything and everything fae writes is magical and wonderful even though she does annoy me about jungcocky all the time. i remember reading this a long time ago, and i said she wasn’t going to love him back, and then you yelled at me. good times.

♣︎ love in colors by @lushguk

[ taehyung x reader | angst, fluff | soulmate / reincarnation au ]

oneshot.

gosh, i love mel so much, and her writing is so so breath taking. this is one of my absolute favorites because art and taehyung? my two passions lmao. i remember throwing my bunny plushie in frustration and then apologizing to it after i read the airport scene.

♣︎ the first and last of us by @lushguk

[ yoongi x reader | fluff, implied smut, angst | childhood bestfriends au ]

oneshot.

let me just lay here and die from the overwhelming amount of emotions i felt after reading this. mel has completely wrecked me with this, and her writing gives such a nostalgic and melancholic feeling that left me wanting to cry a waterfall. i’m pretty sure i screamed about this scenario to her too much.

♣︎ the pistol star by @kairoseok

[ jungkook x reader feat. hoseok | angst, fluff | supernatural au ]

oneshot.

this is a combination of astrology and beautiful beings, and i’m so in awe over this. just the way it was written and how every detail was crafted so intricately had me reading and rereading this scenario over and over again. her writing is really quite phenomenal and unique.

♣︎ 2 assholes play cards against humanity by @cosykims

[ yoongi x reader | fluff | youtuber au ]

oneshot.

because i love cards against humanity and because this is hilarious and cute and i love it. and also because her photoshopping skills for yoongi’s channel is incredible. and i rec her hogwarts!bts bulletpoint scenarios too!! i think i recced them before, but i gotta do it again because they’re amazing and i’m still in love with them.

♣︎ caffeine, crimson cheeks, and cashiers by @cinnaminsvga

[ taehyung x reader | fluff | college au ]

oneshot.

because i love fluff and happy endings, and tae is the cutest, and i can relate to this scenario on so many levels right now. “to noodle or not to noodle, that is the question” is too real. i’m questioning myself that at this very moment. where can i shop to get a cute cashier!tae to ring me up with a date??

 ♣︎ i want to kiss you (i know it’s 2 am) by @1rapmon

[ yoongi x reader | fluff | slice of life au ]

oneshot.

i honestly lost track of how many times i read this scenario because it’s so amazing and shows the dynamics of their relationship so wonderfully. gosh, the dialogue is so great, and i found myself smiling the entire time whilst reading this. del my soft and radiant goddess, ily to the moon and back.

♣︎ the countdown by @dreamscript

[ taehyung x reader feat. yoongi | fluff | slice of life au ]

oneshot.

taehyung is overdramatic, you’re amused, and yoongi is just so done with everything. oh, and throw in a dying confession. this scenario holds such a special place in my heart, and ily, rys, the other half of #rat and all hail rysism. rys writes my favoritest scenarios that have the best mix between fluff and comedy.

♣︎ in watercolor by @annyeongs

[ yoongi x reader | fluff, implied smut | photographer au ]

oneshot.

i love love loooove mia, the prettiest babe in the universe!! i also love love loooove her writing and how everything she types is so poetic and lovely and makes me feel happy. in this scenario, the reader is called art by yoongi, and yoongi is actual art, but mia is the true masterpiece here.

In The Rain Pt. 3

So I wrote this –> http://maximumjinx.tumblr.com/post/159133693249/in-the-rain and Im out for school so I thought hey! short form fic

So here goes it
______________________________________

Adrien felt the weight of guilt uncomfortably sitting at the bottom of his stomach as he walked into school that morning. He hadn’t been able to get any sleep since last night, after leaving Marinette in the rain. He was ashamed to admit his cowardice, despite the overwhelming dread he felt in that moment. And now he had to see her this morning looking his worst. Even concealer couldn’t mask the puffiness of his eyes.

“Dude, you look absolutely terrible,” Nino winced, having just walked into class and taking a seat beside his best friend. Adrien let out a weak laugh.

“Thanks bro, it’s lovely to see you too.”

“What happened?” Nino brushed past the sarcasm and faced Adrien in concern. Adrien could only shrug, a small frown etched on his face.

“Don’t really want to go into it,” He mumbled. More students steadily poured in, Alya taking her usual seat with a nod, almost bumping into the desk as her phone occupied her attention.

Ten minutes after class began, Adrien’s guilt began to grow and claw at his throat. Marinette still hadn’t shown.

It’s alright- her being late wasn’t anything new. Adrien tried to focus on the lecture, struggling not to blatantly stare at the door. First and second period passed without so much as an interruption from a wide eyed black haired girl.

When break finally came Adrien whipped around so fast that it shocked Alya enough to drop her phone.

“Sunshine, don’t scare me like that!” She scolded, inspecting her phone for any damage.

Adrien sighed, “Sorry.”

Alya hummed and went back to her phone, scrolling through something with a worried expression.

“Al, you haven’t taken your eyes off that thing. Bustier didn’t say anything ‘cause of the situation but I doubt Dr. M will be as complacent.” Nino frowned at his girlfriend, trying to carefully pry her attention away from the screen. Adrien looked between the two in confusion.

“Wait, what’s going on?”

Alya snapped her attention towards the model in surprise. Her hands gripped at her phone tightly that her knuckles became white.

“Haven’t you heard? It’s been all over the news.” Her eyes flickered toward the empty seat beside her. “Marinette has been akumatized.”

Adrien’s blood ran cold. His hands clenched watching his two friend’s expressions to see if they were joking.

“That’s not possible.” Was all he could manage, as panic began to fill his very core. “The city would be in chaos.”

His Lady couldn’t get akumatized, the miraculous prevented it. Right? And wouldn’t he have known? The city wouldn’t stand a chance under Marinette’s fury, there would be no one to stop her.

All Adrien could think with a sickening lurch in his chest that it was his fault.

“That’s the thing dude,” Nino began, “she’s akumatized- the whole get up, powers and all- but she hasn’t done anything, only sit on top of the Eiffel with this blank expression.”

Alya nodded, also looking a bit queasy. “It’s absolutely terrifying. When police noticed her and tried to get her down, something went wrong and they came back with the same expression, completely unresponsive. No one has tried to get her since.”

“The area’s blocked off now, no one has managed to get in touch with Ladybug or Chat Noir.” Nino glanced toward the back of the classroom. Adrien turned and with a sad realization noticed another missing seat. “Nath, hasn’t left the base of the tower since he found out this morning.”

Adrien felt a pulse in his chest and his ring felt heavier on his hand than it had ever been. He tried not to show his distress but he felt like he was going to throw up.

Marinette was in danger, probably because he messed up and hurt her. Echoes of her face as he turned to leave, the split second of her entire resolve crumbling began to resurface in Adrien’s mind. His Lady was akumatized, subject to Hawkmoth’s influence, and without Ladybug he had no idea how he would even begin to save her.

How could everything have gone so wrong in just a matter of hours?

He couldn’t think of a response, he couldn’t even feel his legs at that moment. Hands trembling, he could only think of how he let the 2 most important- no, the ONLY important person in his life down. His Lady, his princess.

First things first, he had to find her.

Plagg shuffled in his bag, and Adrien got up from his seat. Usually the chaos would give him an excuse to transform, but as the teacher walked in to begin class Adrien ignored her confused look, and simply walked out. Despite the protests of his friends, and the threat of detention or worse, he calmly walked down the stairs and out the school.

He needed to get to Marinette.

A bit of info on the Au!


Hello! Im making this post bc I’ve gotten a few questions that don’t neceserally need the character’s to answer them + a bit more info about the AU!

In my last post i explained that there are different ways to get your powers! Some are born with it and some have, ‘help’ to get theirs. Everybody has the potential to have their powers but if they are not born with it they have to experience a life or death situation to ‘activate’ them, or they die if they aren’t strong enough to handle it. More info under the cut!


SQUIPs can ‘activate’ a persons power when they see that they either, need them, or simply to fulfilled their purpose (to make someone cool). They do their math and calculate the percentage of somebody surviving the ‘activation’ and take the risk if they need to, but if the persons too weak they don’t take the risk.
Their powers grow depending on how much they practice with them, it’s like a muscle they need to train it constantly or else it’ll just stay weak.
Now to go a bit in depth into two characters who have been the targets of all of the angst u guys have!


Michael (since he is the target of a lot of angsty questions,, i see u) : Michael, as most of ya’ll know can travel through electronics, electricity is coursing through a thing? Yup Michael can go through it! But if he were to say get trapped in one of those electronic devices he will slowly start to disintegrate since literally the only reason he’s inside of that is because of the electricity. The bigger the thing the easier it is for him to travel too since he doesn’t have to force himself so much to go through the device. Yes he has tried to go through SQUIPs since technically it’s a super computer and it has electricity i mean it’s shocked Jeremy with electricity! In short it didn’t go well, the SQUIP is extremely small and Michael had to endure a few minutes of being in it and it strained his body heavily plus the SQUIP went into a 'Self Defense Mode’ since there was an intruder. That’s all I’m going to disclose on Michael because i don’t want to ruin all surprises ;)


Jeremy (2nd target for all ya’ll angsty asks, why do u guys like hurting the boyf riends sm?): Jeremy can control electronics and the electricity in them, but he can not make electricity out of thin air he can only control previously existing electricity in a device. Jeremy is extremely careful when using his powers around Michael when he’s in devices and especially careful when he pranks Michael by turning off electronic devices around him (not the one he’s in of course), and anyways he can only hold it for maybe a minute or two before giving in because it eventually starts to drain him, but after an accident involving Michael he tries to limit when he does it so really it’s not something he does a lot anymore.


Like I’ve stated I don’t have a definitive story to this au, mostly tailored the questions i get so… YOU guys are the one growing this story, with a small push from me dropping hints if i have an idea and want it to go somewhere!
P.S I’m sorry if sometimes the answers don’t make sense or if they contradict each other. I’m just one mod and this is my first time seriously dealing with an ask blog! Don’t let the multiple art styles confuse you It’s simply just one 15 yr old who doesn’t have a definitive artstyle.


P.P.S i don’t know if this either helped answer a few questions, shed a bit more light on the au or inspired more questions! I just hope that this was helpful to a small degree,,, Please remember that this is actually just fantasy and a bit of sci-fi! Not everything’s gonna make sense, ya’ll just gotta roll with it (I won’t purposely start to make things confusing or not understandable now but there will probably be a few things that just cant be explained!)


Any questions that i see the could have been answered here won’t be answered by the characters! I try to upload a few answers a day and I don’t want to put time into an answer that’s been answered here sorry! Previously asked questions wont be affected tho, just new ones that come in after I’ve posted this but like a day or two later bc heck I don’t expect everybody to read this today.


P. P. P. S Also,, THANK YOU GUYS FOR 150 FOLLOWERS? IT’S ONLY BEEN LIKE 3 DAYS SINCE I MADE THIS ACCOUNT? YOU GUYS ARE AWESOME!


Also small hint: read the tags that i put on the answers ;)  Some have bonus info


** As the au grows I might add more info here, don’t worry I’ll keep you guys updated if i do!

anonymous asked:

pLEASE write out some arranged marriage au's for perc'ahlia. i BEG you

literally all you have to do is ask, so long as you don’t mind a summary of ideas rather than actual fics because…..i would die if i tried. but i have many ideas regarding these two and marriage, and quite a few are arranged marriages. let’s see….

You have your classic arranged marriage, based on a timeline where the de Rolo family is alive and Vax and Vex are far more controlled by their father’s wishes. I like to think of this one as the left overs idea, seeing as it’s founded on the principles of Frederick and Johanna having to arrange a marriage for their third child who will not go out courting, and Syldor having to make a match for Vex before he can feasibly find a future husband for Velora. The deal is struck after months of arguing, when Vex finally agrees to marry some little lordling from the north because, well, the rumors about him are that he can’t be bothered about a wife, so he ought not to mind one that spends more time in the woods than by his side, right? And she’s heard Whitestone is lovely if chilly and distant (thought, really, that’s a virtue when it comes to getting as far from Syngorn as possible, and she even gets to take Vax with her).
They meet as proper nobility and this would be the fic in which Percy politely offers to cut his finger on the sheets. Instead, they stay up most of the night with Percy carefully explaining Whitestone’s traditions and Vex explaining how rubbish some of that is, and the maid finds them asleep against each other in the morning, still propped up against the headboard in casual day clothes, a map and what looks like half a written and scribbled-over argument in parchment pieces strewn across the bed. She’ll have to be checking the linens later, then.

Then we have the canon-compliant arranged marriage that I have seen written in some form or another, where Vex was supposed to be married off to Percy, but then of course the Briarwoods happened and Byroden happened and it never got all worked out. This idea mostly involves me wanting to write Vax being an ass about it on principle and/or Cassandra casually mentioning Percy’s betrothed, which causes a whole slew of confusion and one ill-fated quest to make sure he isn’t still engaged (which of course he is) because Percy really does not want to be engaged to anyone but Vex (which of course he isn’t). The endgame of this whole comedy of errors being Vex holding the papers legally binding them hostage, while Percy tries to grab them back because “It ought to be our choice, I don’t want to push a deal on you that you had no say in.” “Oh, so you’re not interested in making deals you don’t know the full repercussions of now, hm?” “I’m not - It’s not the repercussions I’m working about, it’s - I’d rather make this deal with you - give me the damn papers, Vex!”

I also have this idea for something very Swan Princess-esque where Vex and Percy grew up knowing they were going to be married, but then i also have this love of doing things a little backwards. So Percy is the one who starts falling in love first - in tiny inches, with the way Vex stands straight and tall with her brother when they’ve gotten in trouble again, with her laugh when it’s soft and light and then also when it’s too loud and sudden and she sometimes looks as though it’s caught her by surprise. He falls in love with her messy braid and the feathers in it, her awful-sounding Abyssal and the way it makes their tutors cringe, her insistence on keeping both a pet bear and a table full of cosmetics, the both of which she learns to wield and treasure for how they keep her safe and happy.
Vex, on the other hand, feels only a grudging sort of friendship. Sure, Percy’s alright. He’s clever enough and polite and stopped trying to lock her and Vax out of his rooms years ago (for all the good it ever did him when Vax was more than happy to pick said locks). And Vex knows she’s going to marry him one day, and that will be fine, but she doesn’t expect him to have grown to tall over a year. She doesn’t expect him to have a jawline she can see her lips following or eyes that beg to go darker with passion, and she certainly doesn’t expect his familiar wry grin to punch the breath from her chest when it’s directed at her now. He shows her the siege arrows he’s made (”They’re much more powerful than the exploding ones, you see. You’ll have to test them, but I’ve also had an idea for something like a grappling arrow that I’d like to try if you’re willing to give me some input.”) and Vex remembers the things he’s made and done for her and all the times she never thanked him and he never seemed to mind, and oh. Well. There’s an idea. Perhaps he loves her, and Vex finds herself a little in love with the thought.

The last thought I’ve had is angst-ridden and only half-formed, but it begins with the Briarwoods deciding to marry off the surviving de Rolos instead of Percy escaping, and he gets shipped to Syngorn. Vex is determined to hate him, just like everything Syldor has ever brought into their lives, but he’s so damn fragile when he arrives, and Vex has never been able to walk away from broken things. He’s her husband, yes, but Vex does a lot more of being his only friend than being a wife, and Percy slowly opens up. The twins are not nearly as bad as he’d dreaded and it’s certainly better than staying trapped in his old home, shadowed by monsters and wraiths, or chained in the dungeon and left to Anna’s tender mercies. He behaves because of Cassandra, but she is also why he never can quite enjoy his new life. Vex catches him, eventually, in a moment where he seems to be truly happy for once - and a breath-taking sight that is, when he’s creating and thinking, beautifully vibrant and casually sharp-tongued - just before he catches himself out and remembers to be quietly miserable.
“Tell me what you’re thinking about when you do that,” Vex insists. “What is it that always makes you force yourself to look guilty for enjoying things.”
Percy tells her, in halting, almost forgotten and definitely avoidant sentences, about his home and the people who took it from him, about the sister he left behind and why he’s never on anything less than his best behavior. Because if word ever gets back that he isn’t, it will be on Cassandra’s head.
“Well,” Vex says, after she’s swallowed down the impulse to simply hold Percy as close and as tightly as she can. “Let’s go get Vax. If we have to go liberate our city, we’ll need him.”
“You don’t have to get involved,” Percy tries. “It’s my problem, not yours.”
“By law, it’s half mine,” Vex says, flippant in the way she knows gets across how serious she really is. “The problems and all. That’s marriage, darling.”
It’s the first time Percy says he loves her, so quietly any human wouldn’t have caught it, but luckily, Vex is half elf.

Not alone

John put their cups on the kitchen counter and poured the last drips of milk into their teas. “Anything I can get you from Tesco? Seems we ran out of um… Apparently everything.“ 
Sherlock didn’t respond, he just ended his quiet sonate. The whole night he had been playing his violin. All of John’s favourites. 
John placed the cups on the desk before he let himself fall into his chair, cupping his tea with both hands. 
"So, anything planned for today? A case, ruining Mrs. Hudson’s china or are you finally planning on getting rid of the ears?” John tried to get at least the hint of a smile out of Sherlock, who has been focusing on his cup, running his slender fingers over the notes on the desk. 
“Throw the ears away." 
"Are you sure? You’ve been working on this for weeks, you wouldn’t let me come near-”
“Garbage. Today.” Sherlock remained stone-faced.
“Fine, good. As you wish.” he threw his hands up in surrender.
Sherlock’s expression shifted, now showing worry, even sympathy. 
“John we-” he took a deep breath at the pure anticipation John offered him. “you need to stop this." 
John’s heart clenched, he kept on smiling. 
"Stop what?" 
"You know exactly what I’m talking about." 
He knew. "No, I- don’t" 
"For God’s sake John! Wake up. I’m not here.”
“You do this all the time, why can’t I-”
“Did." 
The flat went quiet. Just the steady noises from the busy street reached his ears. He couldn’t look at Sherlock, not now. 
"I think I should get ready. Appointment with Ella. I want to finish the groceries beforehand. Risotto for dinner? What you think?" 
A tremor forced him to clench his left hand as he stood up. 
He would buy mushrooms, Sherlock always liked that. And milk, he mustn’t forget about the milk. 
"John, please.” Sherlock’s voice was just a whisper.
And maybe a new bottle of scotch. 

John scooped the burned risotto into the bin, fully aware that Sherlock was surveying him, disapprovingly so.
“There’s still a can of beans behind the tea." 
"I think I’ll let it be for tonight. Sorry I’ll make up for it tomorrow.” John sounded defeated. He felt defeated, by goddamn risotto. 
“You shouldn’t be drinking." 
"Doesn’t mean I can’t.” he said raising his glass in Sherlock’s direction before taking a huge gulp. John edged past him, his glass in the left, the alarmingly light bottle of scotch in the right. 
Sherlock sat in his chair, hands folded in his lap, his eyes sharp as a knife observing John’s every move. 
“Could you- not do that” he mumbled casually. The alcohol was already paralyzing his tounge, making his skin warm and almost numb. Numb was good. Better than the alternative. Numb was bearable.
“Do what?" 
"Condemning every single decision I take." 
"I could. As soon as you stop condemning every single decision you take.”
Very funny. Hilarious indeed. Another gulp. 
“Touché” he ran lazy circles on the fabric of his chair. 
“So what your therapist said today…” Sherlock leaned forward.
“I don’t wanna talk about it." 
"Yeah, that’s what you told her." 
A bitter laugh escaped John’s throat. 
"You need to get it out." 
More Scotch. 
"What for?! It wouldn’t make a difference.”
“Right. Better keep up with the drinking. If you’re lucky you won’t even last two more weeks.” Sherlock has always been a righteous arse, but he has never been this- mean.  Not to him.
“Then I should probably try harder.” The faint of a broken smile played around his lips. 

Minutes passed without a word. Not a single sound would break the silence. His throat burned, the pattern on the wall was nothing more than a blurred puddle, made no sense. Nothing made sense. 
“Go to bed.” Sherlock’s voice was so calm, so quiet, as if he was afraid to scare John. 
He didn’t respond, just tried to get up, kicking over the bottle of Scotch at his feet. He needed to force himself not to reach for it and throw it against the next wall. 
Slow unsteady steps, clumsily hitting every piece of furniture in his way. 
Sherlock was in front of him, moving motionless, like a statue, slightly blurred maybe due to the alcohol, maybe because he began to- it must have been the scotch. It must.
He heard murmurs, voices, muffeled, far away. Cars and wind and-
“John. Call someone. You shouldn’t be alone right now." 
Silence.
"I…I’m, I’m not alone." 
"John.” Sherlock still didn’t move, a figure of marble, poorly lit by the kitchen lights. 
He felt panic creeping up, everything seemed distorted. The room, his voice, Sherlock. 
He kept hold of the table, resisting the urge of letting himself fall to the floor. 
“I’ll be fine. I’ll be. You’re here.” John’s voice cracked. “You won’t leave." 
"John!” Sherlock was pleading, almost screaming his name. 
“You can’t. Y-you won’t do this. Please.” Shivers ran down his spine, he could feel the cold breeze on his skin. Please. Distinct voices, alarmed, yelling. 
“Goodbye John.” Those very familiar words. Just centimetres separated them. But his voice, tinny and so far away. 
“No. No.” John closed his eyes. “Stop. Don’t! Stop!” He sobbed, his whole body was trembling.
A dull crack and then- nothing. Except for John’s short sobs. His nails were digging into the table, his last sense of reality. 
“John. John open your eyes." 
"No." 
"Look at me.” He felt so close, his tone so clear. 
His body was disobeying him, but eventually he opened his eyes, blinked away hot tears, still not daring to look up. Counting tiles around their feet to calm the fear. 
“Good. Now look at my face.” Sherlock paused for a second. “please." 
Ever so slowly he let his eyes move upwards, along the buttons of the Bellstaff, over the collar of his shirt, his pale neck and jaw. 
"Please” John begged. He didn’t want to.
Blood ran down Sherlock’s face, thick drops, creating the perfect contrast to his skin, coming from a deep wound on his forehead. His curls, dampened, glued together shimmering red in the light. Eyes wide open, staring into the void expressing the absence of everything. 
John’s lips began to quiver.
“Sher- please talk to me.” His voice broke.
Sherlock remained silent.
“Sherlock!” John cried out, drool running from his mouth. “Please. Please. Please. Please.” He reached out for Sherlock’s cheek, but before his fingers could touch his skin Sherlock laid on the floor, limps spread morbidly into all directions, his cold eyes still fixed on John.
John slipped on to his knees, bending forward, holding himself, sobbing. ‘It’s not real. It’s not real.’ He repeated it over and over. Almost choking on his own saliva. 
“It may not be real. But it’s reality.” The voice came from behind. Calm, steady, naturally cold. 
“I, this, this can’t be. What can I do?” It was still hard to talk. His throat burned, he felt like vomiting.
“Nothing." 
"Nothing.” He scoffed turning his head in the direction of Sherlock’s voice. 
“I- it needs to stop. Just make it go away. How can I make it stop?" 
"Accept it." 
John crawled over to the wall and sat down. His head fell back, beside him sat Sherlock, in his favorite dressing gown, perfectly fine, smiling sadly at him.
"How could I? I had to watch my best friend jump to his death right in front of my own eyes. How’s that acceptable?" 
"It’s not." 

John sighed, it’s been almost an hour since either of them said something. At least his mind stopped playing tricks on him.
"I’m sorry." 
Sherlock looked puzzled, just raised an eyebrow.
"I- I shouldn’t have said that. That ‘machine’ thing. It’s my fault." 
"John, stop it." 
"It’s true, isn’t it. I deserve this. It- you should haunt me for the rest of my life." 
Sherlock laid his hand on John’s and for the breath of a moment he imagined he could feel the weight, the warmth. 
"It’s not. And you know this." 
"It’s not fair.”
“No it’s not. Death is never-”
“That’s not what I meant. You know, holding a monologue, your 'note’, without even giving me the chance to say something, anything." 
Sherlock turned his head to the side, now looking directly into John’s eyes. "Then say it now.” His face was all edges, sharp lines and still it was the softest thing John ever laid his eyes on.
“It won’t change a thing.”
“It won’t." 
John smiled. Earnest. 
"I love you." 
Only a vaguely perceptible tremor in the corner of Sherlock’s mouth and wet eyes testified that he heard those three words.
John took a deep breath, saying it, out loud, hearing himself uttering these words. Making it real. He expected pain, despair, sorrow, instead he felt calm for the first time in weeks. 
"And now?” He asked facing away.
“Nothing.”
“Nothing.”


A little post Reichenbach fic that has been floating around in my drafts since tld.
Ankita’s little thread today reminded me of it, I hope you like it 😈 @love-in-mind-palace

Promoting weeks

Hello everyone <3 last week I proposed an idea for the two weeks coming, since I’ll leave in vacation so my blog will be active mostly from my queue.

In the past, I’ve received many times messages to promote arts by reblogging them but I couldn’t do it all the time because otherwise, my blog wouldn’t be personal anymore (I would only reblog what people wants me to reblog basically)….but I thought I should take a moment once to accept any aks of this kind.

So what I propose is, if you’re interested of course, to promote your arts during the two weeks I’ll be away. 

But of course, I have some little conditions :

- no nsfw please (no violence, no gore, no sexual arts…)
- since the theme of my blog is “fluff”, I rather not reblog too angst things, so preferably, any cute arts <3
- original arts are accepted
- if it’s “fandom arts”, I rather reblog the fandoms and ships I’m into (Free, YOI, hq!!, bnha, ccs, owari, toz ect…)


You can start from today to send me by PM (I prefer PM than asks) the link of the arts you want me to reblog (it can be more than one but don’t send too much because I need space in my queue for others too).

I won’t be here tonight and tomorrow (no co) and I leave this week end, that’s why I write this now. I’ll check my PM tomorrow and being to put them in my queue (the queue order will be random).

anonymous asked:

Hey, can you recommend me some good malec fanfics? Don't care if it's fluff or smut (i heard you are a fan of botton!alec 😉 ) just tell me if there's anything good

MALEC FIC RECS #1 

Hello! Thank you for coming to me for this. I have lots of Malec recommendations! Right now I’m just going to give you some of the one’s I have in my new phone but maybe later I will add the one’s I have in my previous phones.

-This fanfics are a mix of a lot of things: fluff, angst, smut (yes, I’m a fan of bottom!Alec :D), some AUs, and some are very dark.

-I put some Notes to express my opinions and other stuff (they are kinda lame :p sorry haha) 

-Just click in the title to open the fic and if there’s an issue with the link just let me know. 

-I put how many chapters each story has and where is posted next to the title.

-They are not in order of how I like them or whatever, it was just how I found them, I put them here.

-Also I put a (*) before the fic title for the one’s I think you should really read!! The one’s I really loved the most of this list.

-I’m sorry if there’s some mistakes in my English, it’s not my native language.

Good Things Come To Those (Who Stutter In Front Of Their Crush) (1/1) (Ao3) 

Summary: Alec is fairly popular, he has his friends and his brother and sister, and no one seems to mind that he doesn’t talk that much. He’s not exactly shy, he’s just awkward and gets nervous around strangers.

Magnus is a senior, a year above Alec, and he’s quite possibly the most beautiful person Alec has ever laid eyes upon. The problem isn’t that he’s a year older, however. It’s that he has a girlfriend.

And, of course, if Alec ever was to start a conversation with Magnus, he’d probably trip over his own feet, stumble over his words, and faceplant into the ground … or something.

The embarrassment just isn’t worth it. Or is it?

Notes: This is a really sweet AU with a cute Alec with glasses.

* Reminiscent (33/33) (Ao3) 

Summary: I’m trivial. I’ve always believed I’m trivial. But he says that’s not true. He says I’m a lot more than trivial. He says I’ll always be more to him. He told me I’m his first of safe and risks. He told me I’m his first in his mind which shouts important and unnecessary recollections. He told me I’m his first of anything but trivial. And I can’t help but wanting to believe him.

Notes: This has a lot of angst, I’m serious. You suffer with this but like I love angst, wow, it was amazing. And the end… well, it ends with angst but also in a good way (?)

Religious Obligations (16/?) (Ao3) 

Summary: The Lightwoods have long since been cursed with corruptibility. In the year of the Angel 1645, Robert made a deal with the devil himself. In exchange for the security of his position, he took an oath to give one of his children. Now the Prince of Hell has come to collect.

Notes: I haven’t read the last chapters, I think I’m in chapter 13 but this story is so good! It has a lot of potential and the plot is really good and unique.

* Tale of Wolves (2/2) (Fanfiction.net) 

Summary: Alec was an Omega. And he had never expected his Alpha, Magnus, would pick him as mating partner. Warnings: Altered ABO, sexual content. A two-part story.

Notes: This is an Alpha/Beta/Omega dynamic fanfic, with mpreg mentioned. Smut. *spoiler* But also how Alec starts to get over his insecurities.

* The Moon wants to shine but the Sun is too bright (14/16) (Ao3) 

Summary: “I don’t like it”, said Magnus.

Alec looked at him with perplexity.

“You don’t like what ?”

“I don’t like it when people are touching my things !” he answered angrily.

Alec frowned, did someone touch Chairman Meow ? He didn’t notice the possessive glare of Magnus focused on him.

Notes: oKaY THIS STORY IS AMAZING! The summary doesn’t make justice to what the story is really about!! It’s amazing!!!! Right now everything is getting solved and I’m impatient for the next chapters!! Oh and angst hehe.

* Five Times Magnus Isn’t a Good Boyfriend And One Time He Is (1/1) (Ao3)

Summary: Being a high profile celebrity makes it difficult for Magnus to find enough time for his personal life. Alec’s feeling lonely after spending yet another night alone.

Or, in which Magnus is spending too much time at work, Alec confides in Chairman Meow, and Magnus tries to make everything better.

Notes: Slight angst but has a sweet end.

* Under Nobody’s Wings (23/?) (Fanfiction.net)  

Summary: The Circle which led by Jonathan Morgenstern was hunting Downworlders. Jonathan’s lover, Alec Ligthwood, suddenly showed up and asked Magnus for help with a baby in his arms. Said Warlock never expected the pain and love followed. Through their way to redemption, something developed between them. *Hints of abuse, sexual content and Mpreg

Notes: amazing plot!!!

Feeling Alive (1/1) (Ao3) 

Summary: Alec has one job and he intends to complete it.

Notes: zombie!au but I’m warning that is tragic. This author’s fics are really angsty but I love them. 

* Satellite (6/6) (Ao3) 

Summary: All Alec wanted was for his family to be safe. Unfortunately, a dangerous mutant ability and a terrifying mistake can’t–won’t–leave him and his siblings alone. If he wants his loved ones to survive, he’s going to have to face his fears, and worse, himself.

Notes: Xmen Universe AU. Again, wonderful plot! This is going to have a second part but it’s not posted yet. This First is finished. This author’s fics are really angsty but I love them. 

* In which Alec regrets wearing black (5/?) (Ao3) 

Summary: Alec is a ballet dancer with a permanent scowl

Magnus is a glittering fashion designer with a knack for gift buying

They meet and misunderstandings take place. This is their story.

*All characters apart from my own belong to the genius that is Cassie Clare*

Notes: oHmYgOd I’m in love with this!!! Ballet dancer!Alec is everything!! So cute and also kind of stalker!Magnus. The author changed slightly Alec’s appearance but I’m ok with it <3. And the chapter are so long!

darling tonight, i’ve got you in my sights (1/1) (Ao3) 

Summary: _

Magnus nips at Alec’s perspiring, over heated flesh with an enthusiastic mouth, tongue flicking out to lap at the subtle rivulets of sweat and his groan reverberates through Alec, deep and intoxicating. His agile fingers stray under the hem of Alec’s shirt, sweeping blistering trails of fire across his abdomen, muscles quivering and tensing under the numbing ministrations. The pure skin on skin contact is devastatingly stunning, by the Angel, and Alec clenches his teeth to smother his cry, head tumbling back onto Magnus’ shoulder.

_

(clubbing and some sexy dancing leads to some hot, rather filthy sex.)

Notes: yeess smut but it’s well written.

Intimacy (1/1) (Ao3) 

Summary: “Here, take what you want, what you need.” the warlock whispered, moving his hands to Alec’s to lace them together.

-=*=-=*=-

Or five times Magnus and Alec failed at having intimate moments and the one time they didn’t.

Notes: It’s literally what the summary says, and powerbottom!alec.

Too Much Of A Good Thing Won’t Be Good For Long (1/1) (Ao3) 

Summary: Boxing AU

Notes: short but so good!!

Bullseye (1/1) (Ao3) 

Summary: When Alec Lightwood is approached by Magnus Bane as a recruitment effort for a mysterious cause, he most definitely doesn’t expect the series of events that follow.

Notes: This includes experiments, if I remember well. A clandestine organization.

Magnus Bane’s School for Young Warlocks (20/25) (Ao3) 

Summary: Alec had never dreamt he’d be a father by the age of 25, let alone the father of a Warlock. He’s sure he can handle it alone, though. He doesn’t need anyone and neither do his kids.

(Or: Alec takes Max to Warlock School and finds himself falling fast for his teacher).

Notes: I haven’t finished reading the last updates but has angst and denial from Alec’s part.

* Counting Lies (1/1) (Ao3) 

Summary: 49. Superhero and Villain AU

The city was torn apart by the fight between the mob families and the vigilantes, but Alec and Magnus were far away from all that. They were just two normal guys in a normal relationship.

Number of lies: 3

Notes: AMAZING!! AND HAS A LOT OF PLOT TWISTS!!!!! Everyone should read this. WOW.

Let’s Put That Mouth To Good Use (1/1) (Ao3) 

Summary: Magnus and Alec discuss their sex life via Cosmo quiz. Sort of.

Notes: This is good smut. I’m just saying that. Hehe.

In the Name of Promise (15/15) (Fanfiction.net) 

Summary: Years ago the Lightwoods asked Magnus for help: sending their only child Alexander to a mundane family and being raised like one. 17 years later Magnus received a call and he had no choice but rescue Alec, both physically and psychologically. *Warnings inside. Malec, AU.

Notes: This story deals with dark topics and Malec’s relationship develops slowly (at least the romantic one).

* Better Angels (10/10) (Ao3) 

Summary: When there’s only one active Shadowhunter in the whole crazy mess that is New York City, it’s bad.

When that one Shadowhunter is living with three adults who are cursed to never leave the Institute’s grounds, two of which hate each other, it’s very bad.

When that Shadowhunter’s happiness and even mental stability is sacrificed in the pursuit of perfection, it’s monstrous.

When that one, fourteen year old Shadowhunter is found crying in an alley by the High Warlock of Brooklyn, it’s a matter of life and death.

Notes: This story also deals with dark and sensitive topics too, like self-harm. Author’s tumblr: @witchlightsands

* Home Wrecker (93/93) (Fanfiction.net) 

Summary: Ever since his Father got caught with another woman and thrown out of the house, cheaters have disgusted Alexander Lightwood. So what is he to do when he falls in love with one? / AU, more chapters to come.

Notes: This a LARGE story, well it has a lot of chapters but they are not that long. I read the story in like 3 days? And it’s good, I mean, I wouldn’t have read it if it wasn’t great. Somethings are kind of… off. But I loved it. ALSO it has age-gap. Magnus is 30 and Alec 18 then 19, I think.

* Take Me Back to the Basics (39/?) (Ao3) 

Summary: Modern Malec AU where you can see every color but the color of your soulmates eyes.

Soulmates are a lost romance that have been shrouded over with fear of abandonment or fear of love, but sometimes lost romances can be brought back. Sometimes all it takes is a color. Maybe the color gold.

Alexander Lightwood thought he was normal. He has a normal family, a normal school, a normal life. But when his parents decide to move him and his two siblings from Chicago to New York, Alec’s would is turned upside down. Between meeting his somewhat famous soulmate and his parents’ demanding an mysterious job, Alec realizes that his life is far more complicated than he thought.

Notes: AMAZING STORY! This is a soulmates AU but also deals with other topics and right now one of the main plots is starting to reveal itself.

BlindSpot (4/?)  (Fanfiction.net) 

Summary: Malec orphanage AU: Magnus has lived there since he’d been nine years old, and now one year before he has to leave the Institute, a new kid comes along. Alec Lightwood hates orphanages, hates foster families. He just wants to be left alone with his anger at the world. Two worlds clash like thunder and lightning and both guys are in for an interesting year.

Notes: This amazing story is written by one of my favorite Tumblr users: @freakypumpkin Also check her other stories in her fanfiction profile, they are awesome! (also check her opinions of the TMI books on her Tumblr, omg <3)

Something Old Something New Something Red (18/?) (Fanfiction.net) 

Summary: The man with the cat eyes spoke, “Alexander?” Alec froze, all the memories, all the dreams that he’d had with this man came flooding back to him. This was his soulmate, his soulmate that he hasn’t seen in much to long.

Notes: Sometimes confusing and sometimes frustrating when some things happen (I’m not going to say them because spoiler) but is good.

* Learning to Be (26/26) (Fanfiction.net) 

Summary: When Alec was 13, he stopped speaking for almost a year. Five years later, Alec is forced to deal with the trauma of his past while learning to accept and love himself. Malec, Alec/Jace friendship and Lightwood family dynamics. See warnings inside.

Notes: Deals with dark topics and has a lot of angst. There’s a second part for this story and you can check it on the author’s profile.

The curse of love (18/?) (Fanfiction.net) 

Summary: While out on a hunt, Alec is cornered by a shapeless demon that seeks to use him to have his revenge against the warlock Magnus Bane. The demon casts a curse making it so that if Alec and Magnus do not vow and prove to love each other forever, the shadowhunter will die, the catch? Alec and Magnus are broken up! loosely based in the song “Sweet curse” by Floor Jansen.

Notes: this curse omg. I’m waiting for the next chapter like crazy because somethings have happened and maybe it’s gonna be over soon.

The heart inside (9/10) (Ao3) 

Summary: “The good thing, it’s that I will get some paid vacations to Los Angeles, and that I am convinced that Alexander Lightwood has a lot to hide. And I will find out every little dirty secret he might have and show it to the world to let them know that their golden boy it’s nothing more than a fake.” I let out and evil laugh. This was going to be fun.

Notes: Interesting story and there’s just one chapter left that the author hasn’t posted and maybe she or he would never post but chapters 8 and 9 wow yay.

* I Won’t Let You Fall (4/?) (Ao3) 

Summary: Alec Lightwood is the most beautiful and talented classically trained ballet dancer at the New York Arts Institute. He’s pressured by everyone in his life to carry the honor of the Lightwood name in the New York performing arts world, he feels trapped in a box. Magnus Bane is the most liked, respected, gorgeous, and innately talented hip-hop freestyle dancer who was accepted to the Institute on scholarship. He puts on the happy face for everyone around him, but inside he is broken and badly scarred by his past. When Alec finds himself wanting to branch out and add free movement to his final senior piece he seeks the help of the one person he’s been secretly drawn to for years. The one person he knows lives very much outside of the box.

Notes: I just read this a few days ago but omg I’m in love with ballet dancer!Alec and I want more!!

* Malec Alphabet Soup (21/26) (Ao3) 

Summary: Twenty six (from A-Z), stand-alone one-shots about Magnus and Alec.

Chapter 1: Anniversary (mpreg)

Chapter 2: Birthday

Chapter 3: Cuddle

Chapter 4: Dork

Chapter 5: Everyday

Chapter 6: Family (part 1 of the Bane-Lightwood Family Series)/(mpreg)

Chapter 7: Goodbye (character death)

Chapter 8: Hand

Chapter 9: Injured (part 2 of the Bane-Lightwood Family Series)

Chapter 10: Jealousy

Chapter 11: Kiss (mpreg)

Chapter 12: Late (part 3 of the Bane-Lightwood Family Series)/(mpreg)

Chapter 13: Mortality

Chapter 14: Neglected (smut)

Chapter 15: Opposite (part 4 of the Bane-Lightwood Family Series)

Chapter 16: Pregnant (Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamic)/ (mpreg)

Chapter 17: Quality (Time) (part 5 of the Bane-Lightwood Family Series)

Chapter 18: Rape (Aftermath) (mentions of rape)

Chapter 19: Surprise (mpreg)

Chapter 20: Timing (spoiler: Tales from the Shadowhunter Academy)/ (smut)

Chapter 21: Upset (Mpreg)

Notes: I just love this. And the mpregs are amazing if you like mpregs. Chapter 21 is a roller coaster of emotions D:

The Babysitter (28/?) (Fanfiction.net) 

Summary: AU story: Alec Lightwood is a freshman at college looking for a job. Magnus Bane is a single parent looking for a babysitter. Magnus thought it would be simple getting a babysitter, and it was. Though it’s not so easy to keep his hands to himself from this sexy freshman… Age-gap, M-Rate later, kinks, smut and other sexiness.

Notes: This story has a lot of smut! Like A LOT!! I’m serious, and like it says it has age-gap for like 6 years? More or less.

Mortal Embarrassment and Other Flirting Techniques (32/32) (inkitt.com) 

Summary: Magnus is at the top of the social ladder, and Alec is the anti-social new kid. Plus there’s a little issue with Hodge and his serious psychosis. High School AU, all human.

Notes: The story is sweet, obviously has its own plot with climax like the Hodge thing and some stuff Magnus does (also another character that I won’t mention…)

Let me love you (1/1) (Ao3) 

Summary: “What?” Magnus said but was soon surprised of the fact that Alec practically ripped his shirt apart throwing it onto the ground of the warlocks loft.

Notes: one word to describe this? PowerBottom!Alec. Huh… I don’t know if that’s one word but whatever.

I hope you like at least one of them <33 I’ll add more later, I don’t know when but I enjoyed doing this. 

anonymous asked:

I noticed that you don't have any imagines for Jiraiya and he's not listed under your rules post. He's a fave of mine, so I gotta... headcanons of how Jiraiya would act upon finding out that one of his sexcapades ended up in a daughter, and he now finds himself responsible for her? (Thank you so much)

*slams hands on desk* THIS IS THE SHIT I LIVE FOR MAN

also holy shit i really want to write a few small drabbles of jiraiya’s daughter and she really looks up to kakashi (in short it’ll be a kakashi fic if i write it xD)


Originally posted by uww

Jiraiya As A Dad

- He was never told that one of the women he slept with had become pregnant. He wasn’t in contact with her, and truth be told. Jiraiya was pretty drunk so he hardly remembered what she looked like. Probably one of the women at one of those establishments. 

- When she arrives at his place with the babe in her arms, he’s slightly confused. Who is this woman? Why is she here with a baby? He’s stunned to silence when he’s told that he is the father, that he’s now responsible, as she can’t take care of her baby. 

- “It’s a girl,” She says before turning to leave. “Treat her nice, alright?” Jiraiya never sees her again. That smile is the last thing he remembers. 

- He grew up in a time of war and instability! How’s he gonna be able to raise a kid - his kid? It’s a challenge for him, raising his child, forcing a few things his ‘research’ for instance on the back-burner. He sees that she’s got his hair, pure, and white as snow. It’s softer than his. Fluffier, so he can’t do much without some form of hair straightener. 

- He names her “Misaki” as the mother never left a name. She’s one of the most beautiful thing to ever have graced his hands. “Beautiful Blossom” it means, and he’s certainly not wrong. She clearly got my good looks. He’s entirely proud of her.

- On her seventh birthday, he watches as she walks out with that ninja headband in her hands, holding it up high and proud, finally a Genin. His smile is like her mother’s. That’s all he can remember of her. He doesn’t care. His baby girl is a ninja now.

- His books are still being written, those haven’t stopped, so when Misaki picks one up, the curiosity setting in, Jiraiya lets out an ungodly scream as he runs over to her, grabbing the book from her hands before she got too far in. Her poor cheeks are already red.(gj ero-sannin you’re gr8)

- Misaki’s 13, now, and she’s in the Chuunin exams. She’s fighting exactly the way Jiraiya taught her. He’s proud, he sees how much she’s come. He’s done what he can to support her, and now it was up to her.

- She’s at that age now, where Jiraiya’s almost always worried that she wouldn’t come home by herself. He’s not one to push away her friends, he’s the type of person who’s always welcoming her friends, but when it comes to the significant other, whether it be a girlfriend or boyfriend, they’re going to have to make sure that they get through Jiraiya’s approval before they can get to her. His daughter understands this.

BONUS:

- Jiraiya’s leaving for a mission, his last, he assumes, and leaves his daughter a list of things to buy. He’s left a small piece of paper on the back of which she has no idea. 

- After the inevitable death of Jirayia (it never happened, shh it’s like neji all over again) his daughter gets hit just as hard as Naruto does, if not a bit more. His last thought was of her, her pure, snow white hair, the markings under eyes just as evident as his own. He recalls her smile, the smile that reminds him of his daughter’s mother.

- Just as she thinks she’s moving on, she finds the note that Jiraiya left for her. “I’m proud of you.”

Meghan’s Top 10 Destiel Fics

For Fanfic Writer Appreciation Day, here are my top 10 fics that are still available on AO3. There are a couple favs that have been since taken down (Lost Souls by lastknownwriter I believe is down for publication? That would have definitely made the list!) so I’m only adding ones you can go read RIGHT NOW! MAKE SURE TO LEAVE COMMENTS on all your favorite fic today!!!!

(In absolutely no order, because narrowing down to 10 was hard enough.) (Well fuck, there’s 11. Oh well!)

Apres (canon) thevioletcaptain - The angels fall. Cas lands in France. Dean comes to get him. The fluffiest fluff to ever have fluffed, WHILE being amazingly in character. Not easy to do. If you held a gun to my head and made me pick top 3, this would be there. (If you made me pick #1 I’d probably die tbh.)

Clean Air (au) anactorya - Holy shit. This is a BOOK. It’s based off a book I haven’t read (but now want to) so don’t let that stop you. It is completely self contained. Post apocalyptic (but not endverse) community lives in an underground silo. They are told they are the only humans left alive on an uninhabitable planet. Until Dean intercepts a radio signal from Cas, who is in another silo. Intrigue, world building, CB radio Destiel - UGH just go read it.

His Fucking Kids Verse (canon) subjecttochange8 - Emma lives, and Claire ends up with Dean & Cas (long before she showed back up in the show!). They retire from hunting to raise the two teens, who are complicated and surly and angsty and wonderful. I really can’t do this verse justice, it’s one of the best things you’ll read in this fandom so get to it.

Pie Without Plot (canon) apocalypse-patisserie & robotmango - Ok, it’s on every rec list ever, but there’s a reason for that. The boys take a break from hunting to run a bakery, for Reasons. AMAZING development for all three of them. Hilarious, heart wrenching, fluffy in-character awesomesauce. While you’re there, read all of Major & Orange’s back catalogs - you won’t be disappointed.

rvr ro11435 (au) @ferritin4 - Dean & Cas work for NASA (but not in space). The story is from Cas’s POV, and he is the SNARKIEST GRUMPIEST POTATO I LOVE HIM. 

The Breath of All Things (au) @twentyonelizards - Dean was paralyzed in a car accident, and is full to the brim with self loathing, depression, and suicidal thoughts. Cas starts volunteering at the care home where Dean is living. Mind the tags, but it has a happy ending (without anyone “fixing” Dean’s disability because that would be gross). One of those fics that sticks with you.

The Story of You and Me (canon) the-diggler - Dean wakes up 2 years in the future, a journal in his handwriting telling him that he has frequent amnesia, he lives in Bobby’s renovated house with Sam & Cas, and oh yeah … him and Cas are a thing. Domestic adorableness with a twist. This fic will tear you apart and put you back together. HAPPY ENDING I promise, even through some angst.

What I Need (au) Jacqueline Albright-Beckett - Dean is a surgical tech, and he’s just been assigned to the biggest asshole of a surgeon (Cas of course!). Enemies to lovers, hospital!Destiel, amazing banter and characterizations. SO much snark and sexual tension, omg!

Every Living Thing (canon) Askance - Wow. This is. Wow. Talk about sticking with you, you’ll never get this fic out of your head. It’s literally the end of the world. The boys try for a while to stop it, but have to concede that there is nothing more they can do. They hole up in an abandoned firehouse while the last Great Flood destroys the world. Angst, hurt/comfort, finding each other in the darkest times, there is great Sam development as well. AMBIGUOUS ENDING - you can read it as hopeful, or as MCD, so if that bothers you you should steer clear.

Every Man’s Got a Right (canon) MollyC - Endverse-not-really-endverse! I’ve seen a few fic with this premise, but this is my favorite. Instead of dying, Endverse!Cas gets sent back in time to the Wincheseters circa Season 2. We follow them as they go through the cases & plot points leading up to the apocalypse, with the added bonus of Endverse Cas along for the ride. I *devoured* this fic! This should have much more kudos than it does, but it was wrongly tagged MCD for a while.

Just More of the Same Verse (canon) outpastthemoat - This fic will make you ache. Cas falls, and is completely overwhelmed and nonfunctional. This is the long process of Cas & Dean figuring out who they each are now, and who & what they are together. This will pierce your very soul, but definitely in a good way. Hurt/comfort of the absolute best kind.

(Honorable Mention - Hands, From Which All Things Are Built (canon). Of the 5000 fic written between S8 & 9, this is arguably the best. Not making my “official” list because PWP is up there already, but this fic singlehandedly made texting!Destiel EVERYONE’S jam. You better not pass it up because it’s rated T. I will find you and I will end you.)

anonymous asked:

Hey Claire, I'm worried, are Kabby even going to be in the finale? Like it would be weird if they're not, but don't Paige and Ian still have one more episode each that they're not meant to be in? And Bob is listed above Paige on the 'also starring' list and last time that happened she wasn't in it, so just... I don't know? Just wanted to know your thoughts cos you're so reasonable and amazing and I think I'm lowkey in love with you. Thanks.

okay well I’m blushing from that last part so give me a second to recover, but tbh I 100% think that Kabby will be in the finale.  I think we’re going to be bouncing back and forth between a story that’s probably mostly about the island/space plot but also checking in with how everyone in the bunker is coping.  And we have some open Kabby-related plot threads to close off. For one thing, they re-introduced Abby’s illness (FUCKING FINALLY, I WAS LITERALLY CONVINCED THEY FORGOT?????) with the two major plot points of 1) Raven has a cure now and is urgently focused on making sure she can cure Abby too, and 1) Kane didn’t know.  And he kind of STILL doesn’t, since they didn’t get to talk about it.  We also know Jackson and Miller both made it into the bunker, and they were there for the lab meltdown so they also remember Abby is sick.  I’m going to guess that part of what happens in the finale involves Raven trying to get the rocket to space AND somehow talk Jackson/Abby over the radio through the process of doing the whole tank thing, since now Raven isn’t coming home.  A fun angsty twist to this would be if Kane is watching and something goes wrong for a second and it takes a little too long for her heart to restart and OH NO IS HE WATCHING THE WOMAN HE LOVES DIE and then she wakes up in his arms.  Or, possibly, in a worst-case scenario, she gets cliffhangered, and they don’t revive her until 501 (which would be  EVIL).  But I don’t think she’s gonna die so PLEASE DON’T FREAK OUT.  Anyway, I think the fact that they dropped the “Abby is sick” plot thread for seriously like five episodes and suddenly JUST NOW worked it in there means it’s going to come up again.

There’s also the fact that Abby insisted Kane send her outside with the others to die (because she’s dealing with a whole messy heap of mortality fears, guilt over the thing she’s done, survivor’s guilt about being on the list, worry about Clarke, etc.) and he didn’t do what she wanted.  I think that “forgive me” is a sign that maybe we’ve got some juicy finale angst to come between the two of them where maybe he (or Jackson) (or, in a perfect world, Clarke via radio) have to talk her into doing Raven’s treatment and remind her how valuable her life is and how much her people need her.  But when she first wakes up she might be really angry at Kane and we might get a whole “I TOLD YOU TO LET ME DIE!” “I CAN’T DO THAT, ABBY! I LOVE YOU!” moment straight out of our fanfic dreams.  I also think we’ve been getting a lot of “when faced with death, choose life” moments with some of the women characters (Raven, Harper, Octavia) and I think we might get Abby having a seizure or something, panicking, realizing that she really does want to live, and making Raven tell her how to do the treatment.

Also, the Culling parallels here were very very stark, running in both directions; Kane looking over the unconscious bodies as a mirror to Abby looking at the people who died in Section 17, but also the moment of “I don’t know who I am anymore” - Abby talking to Kane in the office as paralleled with post-Culling Kane at the Eden Tree, thinking the same thoughts.  And in that moment we got Vera comforting him and telling him he needed to learn to forgive himself.  I think it would be really beautiful if Abby hits her breaking point and she starts to unravel and it’s Kane who helps her learn to forgive herself.

Anyway, I think we’re probably not going to get as MUCH Kabby as we’d like, since the A-story is probably going to be the island, but they’ve never not played a key role in a finale.

anonymous asked:

1) I have a question that may or may not have to do with acowar (that you don't have to bother with if you don't want to). I had all of these opinions while reading the book - good, wholesome opinions about how much I loved certain plot points, certain ships, etc. I finish it, pretty happy (though admittedly not as happy as after acomaf), and go back on Tumblr... only to find everyone sort of hates it. I read through a lot of posts expressing really good points that I hadn't considered...

2) like how poorly Mor and Lucien were treated, how Rhys’s character kind of regressed, how Feyre was not cool in the Spring court, and some ace- and biphobic shit. I realised I agree with most of it, and it made me feel kind of narrow-minded and stupid both for not noticing and for still liking the book even with all of its problematic aspects. I’m not even really sure what I’m asking, but you’re really smart and nice and I want to know what you think? About the book and Tumblr’s hate? (sorry)

Okay, first off, tumblr is a filthy salt pit where nothing is good and everything is vile and Problematic. I agree that I am a member of the current forming salt goblin army but…I think there’s an unhealthy mentality on here that everything must be bad and if there is one bad thing then you must burn the entire thing and all those who support it. It fosters this unhealthy hivemind and encourages you to just…Oh well that person is saying it’s bad I must accept this or else I am bad. 

Engage critically with media but do it on your own terms. If you like something this is fine! If you don’t that’s also fine! If you think it has good parts and bad parts then you’re probably doing this thing right. Nothing is perfect. But nothing is entirely condemnable either. Make up your own mind. (Which I’m aware you have done like it’s fine to see things from another person’s perspective and realise that you agree and alter your opinions but…Critically engaging with media is important but so is critically engaging with…the criticism.) OKAY. SERMON OVER. ONWARDS AND UPWARDS. 

I’m not really sure what you’re asking either tbh but I will just…Just pick at the points you mentioned and give you my gut reactions on them just now okay? (These may change when I have reread the thing which I’m planning on doing soon-ish. I require it to process properly) but as for now… 

Mor was treated poorly. Mor was, as a friend succinctly put it, hit by a plane and then a train and then a bus and then a car, just to be quite sure. I am not happy with the way Mor was treated in this book. At all. And I’ve been someone who has made posts about this (which I am not sure whether you have read or not but??) I stand by those. As a queer woman and as an abuse survivor her narrative was gross. I think she was used to generate angst and conflict within the Circle and was then shoved aside when that moment of conflict had passed and sjm didn’t really want to bother following-through with the consequences. This is an opinion it’s probably going to be hard to shift me off of tbh. 

Lucien….I know some people have complained about this but…Honestly? I wasn’t personally bothered my first read through? Or…I don’t think it was as bad as what happened to Mor. He got out of the Spring Court. He found a purpose again and people who wanted to put him to good use as opposed to just using him. I was not a fan of any of the Ianthe stuff especially as it got swept under a rug and was never dealt with (like…he was sexually assaulted twice…and….Not a whisper) And the comment about not asking Tamlin’s forgiveness incensed me like nothing else. I wanted that relationship being explicitly picked apart and said to be unhealthy. I would have liked to have seen him more, at the meeting with the High Lords, during the battle but…I think….It could have been worse. And it wasn’t wholly bad like Mor’s where she was repeatedly fucked over again and again and again. There were some moments with Lucien that I liked - seeing him in the Autumn Court, his journey with Feyre, some of the Elain scenes (NOT the library one where Feyre slipped into his head what the fuck was that) and his ending I felt was..Hopeful. This is something I want to think about a lot more when I re-read but..I can deal with what we got. 

I, personally, don’t think Rhys’ character regressed. I think the decisions that he made were perfectly IC and the things he did lined up with him. I don’t think it’s a regression to remind the readers that Rhys is morally grey and fucked up at times as well. (Especially with how black and white Feyre tends to be with people in her narrative - if she loves them she forgives them nearly everything, her response to Tamlin and how it changed when she fell out of love with him is a good example of this) I think the way the story then handled this sucked. See: The Mor/CoN incident. I don’t think that was OOC for Rhys. But I wanted far more lasting consequences. Grey morality is only a useful plot point if you actually make it grey and make it mean something. If you just have a character do something questionable then shrug your shoulders and five pages later have it all be smoothed over for them then what’s the point? I don’t have an issue with Rhys’ characterisation personally, this may change on a reread as I know others did but…I more have an issue with execution than content here. 

Feyre at the Spring Court is a similar problem to Rhys: they make mistakes that have a lasting impact on other people but it doesn’t affect them. There’s no repercussions it just gets glossed over and ‘oh well oopsy daisy’ which is just lazy writing tbh.  

I don’t know if this helps you?? I think there are problematic aspects of this book (that I have and will continue to criticise) but…if you still get something out of this series that’s valid? There are problems with it but I think we were all attached to these characters and your opinion is your own. Engage with the criticism (or don’t) but make up your own mind about how you feel. I just…Said what I thought here, this was my take on things…and it’s all subject to change when I reread it but…As it stands. Tehre were parts of this book that I liked (mostly character stuff) and I will probably remain in the fandom and keep ficcing things and the like and…I don’t think this was very helpful at all but…i don’t know, this was just..how I felt? 

oneirodidae-dreamers  asked:

I saw you make a comment on a Danny phantom post mentioning the Phan wars and why people don't support Hartman, could you elaborate on that more, I haven't been in the phandom long and I'm curious

Oh sure! I love to explain things. Firstly, welcome to the phandom! Please leave your sanity at the door, and I hope you enjoy the puns, fun, and so much angst. Nice to meet you! (I apologize beforehand for the long post). 

For those of you who are wondering, this is the post the OP was talking about (x). 

To be perfectly honest, I wasn’t around during the phan wars. I’ve only been writing for DP since 2015 and actively on Tumblr since April 2016, when the wars themselves occurred in 2007, 2008. Around that time. 

This post (x) goes into the specifics of the phandom wars. Basically Hartman said he didn’t like m|m or f|f ships and didn’t approve of them. So on Devianart there was this whole ficasco of  truephans (supporters of Hartman’s words directly) vs antiphans ( m|m or f|f shippers). Long story short, lots of hate was thrown around, people couldn’t ship anything without being attacked for it, and no one was happy. 

All because Hartman said he didn’t like certain ships. 

(Though, this lack of shipping is one of the reasons why the phandom is what it is today. Without shipping be turned to angst. Go figure). 

Then there was also the trans!Danny headcanon vs canon vs AU fight. The idea of trans!Danny became a popular, but some phans took it too far and insisted that the headcanon was actually canon. Eventually this got to Hartman and he put down that theory directly with no uncertainty. 

A lot of the dislike also stems from the background of the show itself. Most phans agree that Hartman is not a good writer. Terrible in some ways, and his lack of skill in this area is shown blatantly in season 3. On the third season of DP, many of the writers were fired/had left/had ‘creative disagreements’/ were just not there, including one of the main creators of the show, Steve Marmel. In season three, the characterization is degraded to an almost childish state, the pacing is terrible, and just overall the quality of the show went down.

We don’t like him as a writer to say the least, even if he is a decent comedian. 

There’s also simply just bitterness. If you’ve seen what the phandom done, there is so much beauty and potential to this wondrous concept. It’s crazy. The phandom is still alive even after nearly 10 years after it stopped airing and until very recently without new canon content! It’s insane! I’ll leave this post (x) to elaborate even more, but DP had so much going for it.

And we just feel as if this is all just….wasted. On bad writing. Bad concepts. Bad decisions. DP could have been so much more, and it’s just not met its potential.

Overall, we sort of just feel betrayed by the creator of the show. Both by how he treats us and his creation with lack of respect or care. 

Now, I’m going to more opinions on this last point, but I want to point it out. Whenever Hartman talks to the phanbase… it feels like he’s talking down on us. There’s this fakeness and superiority whenever he speaks that’s a bit unsettling. I don’t know if it’s actually there, but there’s just something not to like. 

All this being said, I don’t actively hate Hartman. I don’t really like the guy, but at the end of the day, if it weren’t for him, DP wouldn’t have been created in the first place. I have respect for him in a sense that he’s a creator and because he’s a human being.  I would talk to him politely, but very critically.  As a said in my post, he’s the weird uncle  that we acknowledge but don’t necessarily listen to.  

However, I don’t respect him  in some ways. As a writer, on a few of his views, and especially on how he treats his fans (not just DP phans).

So yes. We dislike Butch Hartman. I don’t particularly like him as a person to be perfectly honest, and there are several other people who feel the same. However, there are many who see Butch Hartman and see their childhood shows, something to get through hard times, to inspire them, and to simply enjoy. And that’s perfectly fine. 

Just… there’s also lots to criticize as well, and for a phandom like DP who have faced the worst effects of Hartman’s… I’m going to say, carelessness…well, can you blame us for not liking him? 

Sorry for the long post. Hope I answered your question!

(If anyone wants to add information, please feel free to do so. As I said, some of what I’ve said is second-hand knowledge or cues I’ve picked up on myself. Opinions?)

anonymous asked:

I'm asking this out of curiosity, how can you just let go of a ship like captain swan? you were a hardcore captain swan shipper and you were part of their journey from the very beginning and now you barely care about them if at all. it's just I don't know i thought you were staying till the end & would even have a hard time saying goodbye to them after the show ends. sorry if this came off as rude I'm totally just curious just cuz you were so invested for years now you don't care anymore

Well, honestly, I have discussed this subject before, and tried to be straight about it, and I’m sure you didn’t mean to be rude and are genuinely curious. Still, though, it’s a bit discouraging?

I’m still here. I’m still active on tumblr, I still reblog CS gifs fairly regularly, and I know what’s going on in the show, and I’m looking forward to the wedding. I’ve made several long posts on my process of stepping back from the show and why that happened. It’s certainly not that I just “let go” overnight. It’s been going on for almost a year, and it has not in the least been easy for me. CS got me back into fandom after a long time away. I don’t need to prove my bona fides as a shipper to anyone; I’ve shipped them since 2012, been on tumblr for them and an incredibly active and prolific fandom member since 2013, written multiple novel-length fics and countless drabbles for them (and am still working on TDH, which is my second-longest project EVER behind The North Remembers), answered thousands of questions, written just as many specs and metas and spoiler and roundup posts, went to my first ever con (way out of my comfort zone!) to meet Colin, and still have many dear friends who have changed my life. I don’t ever regret any of the time I did spend on them. I have loved them for a long time and I still care. I just am engaging with it differently, and I have had to do that for several reasons.

As noted, I was super invested during season 5. SUPER. It got to the place where I was thinking about it almost every waking moment, even as I was trying to adjust to a new city and country and degree study and the ups and downs that came with that. My mood was totally dictated by spoilers or theories or how people were reacting to them or how I was going to have to hold things together during an angsty time with all the people I had to comfort/talk through the pain of the Dark Ones/Underworld arc. It took a lot out of me, to be honest. I couldn’t even enjoy the show quite the same way because I was so dependent on it all working out and the effect this had on my ability to deal with things. I’ve always been honest about my years and years of anxiety and depression and what I’ve had to do with that, and the show was something for me to focus on and to try to get me out of my head (again, during an otherwise stressful year). Honestly, that level of addiction/dependence isn’t healthy for anything, especially what is, at the end of the day, just a TV show. The s5 finale burned me the hell out after all that pain with pretty much nothing to show for it, and I struggled over the summer with the thought that I was finally having to withdraw from it in bits and pieces. I watched 6x01, but… nope. That pretty much put the lid on it that I wasn’t prepared to go back at the same level again, and probably wouldn’t be.

As noted, and as anyone who has read my fics can attest, I have no problem with angst. I love angst, even long-term and complex angst. I love serious and dark and morally challenging stories, they are some of my favorites. But as I have also said, I do have a problem when that angst results, to my view, in no measurable story progress and the endless repetition of long-played-out character arcs. I just watched CS struggle to be together for all of season 5. I don’t want to watch more of Emma Has Walls or Killian Keeps Secrets Because He’s Guilty or Oh Look, They’re Separated and Will Die. It’s just… not interesting to me. So I still love them as a ship, but I’ve almost completely disengaged from wanting or expecting canon to provide any kind of satisfying or well-thought-through fulfillment for them. I’ve written tons and tons of fics (and novels). I write all the time. I analyze things for a living. I am an English tutor and a history teacher. I’m a storyteller. I have spent a long time with these characters and coming up with and thinking through what I want to see for them. That doesn’t mean I’m Better ™ than the writers, but it also means that any effort I put in feels like way more than they are, and that’s not a fun or stimulating way to engage with a fandom.

I don’t do hate-watching, and I certainly am not about to rain on the parade of people who do still love it as much as ever (which as I have said many times, I am happy for them). So it’s just better to focus on things that I DO actively enjoy and which I find rewarding and engaging. This year has been incredibly tough for me since about last November and the Orange Nazi’s election (and before that, really). I don’t need to put my limited and valuable free time into things that are just going to drain me or make me annoyed more than I already am. Fandom, once again and though it sometimes can be anything but, is supposed to be fun. And I am trying to space out my interests and have several different places to turn to for inspiration, rather than putting all my eggs in one basket. As noted, it’s just not healthy, and I have to take care with that.

As also noted, I was truly happy about the CS engagement and I will watch their wedding and probably reblog a lot of gifs from it. But I can look at said gifs and enjoy their cute moments and feel as if I’m getting what I need to, rather than having to slog through all of season 6. And honestly, if OUAT is losing people like me – a super, SUPER dedicated fan with years of investment and high-level commitment and fandom participation and creation – it doesn’t take too much guesswork to see that it’s probably losing regular viewers like crazy as well, and that’s why the ratings have taken a nosedive. I know I’m not alone, because I know a lot of fellow fandom people who just can’t muster up the same level of investment, and we’ve all paid our dues. We don’t have to “prove” anything or get caught in the inevitable “Who’s a Real/Better Fan” drama that just makes the whole cycle even more draining. We’re just engaging how we choose to, over a fictional narrative that has meant a ton to us, but has also changed, and we have as well.

So yeah. I still care. I am still a fan. But I think it’s important to remember, as always, that fandom is a FICTIONAL space, and that the people who engage in it are real, with all the hangups and changes of interest and needs and triggers and emotional reasons that go along with that, and we only interact with each other on a very limited basis through tumblr, which is obviously not face to face and where we curate the content we want to post/focus/present. It’s not objective, and it’s fun and amazing and collaborative, but it can also provide a somewhat limited perspective of who people are, what they’re doing, and why they decide to move on from something. So yeah, that’s where I am.

:)

anonymous asked:

I know you have a lot of requests, so don't worry if you don't want to add it to the list right now or anything, but I was wondering if I could put in a request for an Isaac one shot with the song 'Little Talks' by Of Monsters and Men as the inspiration? The lyrics are beautiful and it's one of my favourite songs! It's okay if you don't want to though. I just think your writing is so so brilliant! <3 <3

Anonymous said to redbrickisaac: Can I request a one shot with Isaac based on a song? It’s called ‘Little Talks’ by Of Monsters and Men, I love it and especially find myself relating to the girl part in it. It’s ok if you don’t want to write it though!x


Musical Inspiration: “Little Talks” – Of Monsters and Men

A/n: I’m so sorry if you had to ask for this twice, anon.EDIT: I thought I had this scheduled to post yesterday!! Sorry it’s late!

Pairing: Isaac x reader (A/n: It was really difficult to keep this one gender neutral, let me know if you notice any slip ups, please.)

Wordcount: 1.7k

Warnings: Mental illness, angst, lying, break up, desperation, this is kinda dark, not giving up, sticking by someone’s side, love is not a cure, but it can make things bearable


“Some days I can’t even trust myself.

–        It’s killing me to see you this way.”

You’ve started having memory lapses. A few minutes disappearing here and there, sometimes an hour. And it terrifies you because you know what this is. This is something that runs in your family, something you were always afraid of, knowing you probably wouldn’t escape it. You just didn’t expect it to hit you this soon.

You don’t know what to do. This kind of disease is a slow, debilitating descent into death. You don’t want to tell anyone, don’t want them to see you differently, don’t want the claustrophobia that occurs when their cloying sympathy crushes in on you. But the person you hate the prospect of having to tell the most is Isaac. Because you know he loves you, he’ll try to stick it out with you, stay by your side. And it he does, he’ll end up seeing the truly ugly side of the disease. He’ll see the fear, the paranoia. He’ll see the days when you can’t remember who he is. The last thing you want is to cause him that type of pain.

So, you do the only thing you can. You lie to him and break up. You cause him a different kind of pain that will hurt less in the long run.

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

Your top/bottom! Hux ideas concerning your fics were so interesting. Have you got any headcanons for kylo? I'm just asking bc I really love your rens lol and I can't get that ~you don't fuck like a nice guy ~ part from wild honey out of my head

Let’s see the other side of the coin, then! :D [The ”is Hux a top/bottom” post is here, explaining that I don’t give too much significance to it, because I think it’s just a preferance.]

I’m really happy to learn that you liked that sentence in Wild Honey, and I think it sums up what happens to him in that fic. He’s still Ben; he’s trying to be a good boy, and he’s been holding back with his previous partners. (There were probably like, two-three of them.) He’s self-conscious about everything he says or does or how he looks like, so his snarkiness is a sort of defense-mechanism. Hux makes him let go and embrace his Kylo-ness, the identity he’s been repressing. When Ben goes to the date, he expects to get something from Hux, and he’s ready to settle for anything thrown at him, basically, a pity handjob or a sorry makout would do. But he gets so much more: he realises he can be himself with Hux - the very self he’s been denying - and this identity wants to take. It’s consensual, it’s fun, but it’s also hungry and desperate and very much about self-discovery and power. 

In Bohemian Rhapsody, we don’t learn much about Kylo’s sexual history, but we do learn two imporant things: one, he knew he was gay by the time he was six, and his family was very open about it; two, he’s romantic to the bone. My headcanon for the fic was that he had mad crushes during his teenage years, but probably on persons who were unattainable: older than him, totally straight, or simply not interested. When he was still Ben, he was kind of mazohistic in this regard, and subconsciously seeked out rejection as a form of self-punishment for his (real or imagined) failures as a son, grandson, student or musician. 

Once his early teenage angst years were mostly over and he was around 16-19, he actively seeked out romantic partners for long-term relationships, but his relationships ended within a few months/weeks, partly because he started to take them much too seriously for his age. At this point he already started  rejecting Luke and Leia and fancied himself the ‘head of the family,’ the guardian of his grandfather - he was basically looking for husband material. He imagined his future in Amsterdam, living in a joint apartment with Anakin, having a lovely husband and maybe a cat; they’d all live happily ever after. He was anxious to make this future attainable so I think he was overeager and suited himself to his partner’s needs, whether they wanted him to top or to bottom, and he was quick to idolise them and declare that They Are The One only to be disappointed later.

When Anakin dies, there’s a period of grief when Ben doesn’t allow himself any sort of joy or pleasure. He’s sent to work with Luke, and his grief slowly gives way to repressed anger. First he’s masturbating excessively, having no desire to have any sort of human connection, and being closed off from the rest of the world. Then he hooks up with a male nurse from the charity and they become fuckbuddies, which lasts until Ben becomes too… Kylo, and the nurse asks him never to contact him again. He escapes to Prague a few weeks later. He’s spent three months there, having time to sort of cool down and work through his issues, but his dry spell is getting on his nerves - nevertheless, he can’t really trust his attraction to Hux at first. Then he’s quick to confess his love because he’s overjoyed that his Big Romantic Dreams he had given up on might just come true. I don’t think he gave too much thought to topping or bottoming. He’d have had Hux any way.

A similar pattern of maturing is present in Psychomachia: he throws himself at Hux, and he’s over-eager to please him at first, not even daring to top because he’s too afraid he’d mess it up - then he gains confidence, and more importantly, his relationship with Hux becomes less of an obsession and more like a trusting, two-way relationship, so although he panics the first time Hux asks him to top, he starts to prefer it. 

In the Suit Porn AU, I think Kylo doesn’t really question his position. He’s my most experienced Kylo, and based on his previous experiences, he came to the conclusion that everybody wants him to top: he’s massive and he’s very much in charge, he looks like and acts like a stereotypical top; furthermore, he has a preference to the twinky type. (Of course, twinks can totally top, but Kylo’s been more successful at wooking the submissive type.) He’s really pleasently surprised by how bossy Hux is, and he enjoys being ordered around by him, because no one really dared to do this to him before. They find great pleasure in breaking stereotypes and challenging each other. I’m sure Kylo will start fantasizing about Hux topping on Special Occasions pretty soon.

In conclusion, although I like varying headcanons for Hux, my Kylos are all like “I don’t give a damn as long as I get to touch you.” (Although it’s high time I’ve written him as bi/pan.)

anonymous asked:

what are ur fave Harry Potter fics?

This is going to be so long! I’m limiting it just to Drarry, but I do read and love other pairings as well


All Time Favorites That Speak to my Very Soul

Unhook the Stars (jad, 72k): Draco’s a professional Dom, and Harry hires him. Draco is perfect here: arrogant, smug, snarky, and sexy, and with a hidden well of insecurities that he hides from the world. Their sex is electric, and they help push each other’s limits and heal each other.

Secrets (Vorabiza, 395k): Draco shows up at Privet Drive with his daughter and begs Harry to take her in. They end up teaming up to take down Voldemort, along with help from a lot of snarky Slytherins and Harry’s friends. 

I Bet That You Look Good on the Dancefloor (birdsofshore, 28k): Harry finds himself in a Muggle gay bar, confused and curious and wanting, when he runs into Draco, who’s wild and free in a way that calls to something deep in Harry.

REVOLVEVLOVER (firethesound & zeitgeistic, 46k): Harry’s a professional Hit Wizard, and has developed a cold, mechanical resolve that helps him distance himself from the reality of his work. Draco’s an Auror who knows too much and, accordingly, is Harry’s next assignment.

Temptation on the Warfront (alizarincrims0n, 180k): At the start of their Horcrux hunt, Remus deposits Draco on the step of Grimmauld Place, stating that Draco has defected. Although the trio is naturally suspicious of him at first, Draco ends up joining them on their quest.

Let Me See You Stripped (Down to the Bone) (traintracks, 24k): Harry and Draco are strippers who are paired up to dance together. Their strip club has a no fraternization policy, but they’re quite creative, so they make it work.

The Boy Who Only Lived Twice (lettered, 54k): Harry’s an Unspeakable and has fallen in love with his partner, despite not knowing his true identity. Draco is in love with Harry and is pursuing him hard.

Life Is a Twice Written Scroll (lauren3210, 23k): Their eighth year at Hogwarts, Draco is discouraged with the state of his life and imagines what would have happened if he had done one thing differently; he’s shocked to wake up the next day and find himself living in a world where he had made that particular choice. He explores different realities that hinge on a single choice, and finds himself drawn to Harry time and time again. It has a sequel, of sorts, which is also incredibly beautiful.

Another Mask Behind You (lettered, 116k):  Draco’s a prostitute and has invented a potion that blurs his features just enough to mask his identity, and Harry unwittingly hires him.

Other Favorites That I Would be Remiss Not to Mention

All Our Secrets Laid Bare (firethesound, 149k): After Draco’s Auror partners keep disappearing, Harry is forced to work with him. Harry tries to investigate him without getting distracted by his epic adorableness, but alas, his impulse control is as poor as ever.

At Your Service (Faith Wood, 96k):  It’s their eighth year at Hogwarts, and a series of suspicious events makes Harry suspect that Draco is up to something.

How to Handle an Enemy & Turnabout is Fair Play (who_la_hoop, 18k together): The Slytherins play truth or dare, and Draco ends up in over his head.

IDK My BFF Hermione? (lettered, 19k): Draco is going wild- he’s wearing eyeliner, leather, and silver jewelry, he’s dancing on tables, he’s fucking in public, and worst of all, he just won’t get out of Harry’s head.

In Death’s Dream Kingdom (Kedavranox, 7.5k): Although this fic destroyed me, it’s so gorgeous that it’s still a favorite. It’s nonlinear, so scenes of Draco and Harry’s loving domesticity are interspersed with their current anguish.

In the Company of a Rubber Duck (bidsofshore, 35k): Part of Draco’s community service requires him to spend an hour a day as a random item in someone’s house. He ends up as a rubber duck in Harry’s bath, to both of their chagrin. 

Kiss a Boy in London Town (and Other Intimate Misadventures of a Society Whore) (Femme, 36k): Draco’s a successful prostitute, which allows his family to remain financially comfortable. Things only become messy when Harry hires Draco without knowing his true identity. 

Kiss Me (Under the Light of a Thousand Stars) (@sophiefrench77, 115k): Draco was sent to Azkaban after the war. After Harry finds out that Draco has yet to be released, he frees him and brings Draco to come live with him while he recovers.

Leo Inter Serpentes (Aeternum, 528k so far): It’s a brilliant retelling of all the books with a Slytherin!Harry.

Make Me a Headline (I Want to be That Bold) (@dictacontrion, 31k): Draco’s editor in chief of the Daily Prophet, and comes across a picture of Harry blowing someone else. He decides to extort him for a date, as one does.

Mental (Sara Holmes, 196k): An eighth year fic in which Harry and Draco are accidentally linked by a Legilimency bond and can hear each other’s thoughts. Although they initially resist it, they soon find themselves closer than they ever expected.

Nobody’s Ever Died of a Broken Heart (Frayach, 10k): Harry’s trying to figure out how to move on with his life after suffering an agonizing loss. 

On the Couch (Frayach, 26k): This is told from the perspective of Draco’s therapist. Draco’s wife urged him to attend therapy for their intimacy issues, although Draco is extremely resistant to treatment. Seeing Draco and his relationship with Harry through an outside observer’s eyes is fascinating! 

Plums (Frayach, 7k): Despite both being married and living almost completely separate lives, Harry and Draco have been in a Master/slave relationship for years. In this one realm, their relationship is exquisitely intimate; however, they barely acknowledge each other outside of this, and don’t even know if they can, as they are both so embedded in their roles. It’s probably the most thought-provoking fic I’ve ever read, and has stimulated hours of debate. However, I urge you to please read the warnings beforehand, because it is extremely graphic and intense, and will likely be too much for many people to read. 

Potential Gravity (zeitgeistic, 32k): Draco and Harry are Auror partners and best friends. When Draco informs Harry that he’s transferring to Lebanon, Harry panics and is forced to confront the feelings he’s always tried to keep hidden.

Rather Than Love (birdsofshore, 7k): Harry agrees to take Veritaserum before he and Draco go out to a Muggle club. While surrounded by admirers, Draco asks Harry questions about their love life, making him admit how much he loves when Draco assumes control over him.

Right Hand Red (lumosed_quill, 73k): Their eighth year at Hogwarts, Harry and Draco find themselves drawn to each other like a moth to a flame. Their attraction is exacerbated by the many party games the eighth years keep throwing, which force them into close contact with each other again and again.

Sex, Lies, and Veritaserum (lettered, 18k): Draco and Harry are married, and Draco spikes their wine with Veritaserum so they have to speak openly about their deepest, most intimate fantasies.

Stop All the Clocks (This is the Last Time I’m Leaving Without You) (firethesound, 45k): You watch as they start off hate shagging, each unwilling to admit they want more. You watch them become Auror partners and fall in love and start a life together, and then you watch Harry struggle to pick up the pieces when their happiness suddenly shatters.

Tea and No Sympathy (who_la_hoop, 70k): Draco is stuck in a time loop that forces him to live through the same scenario every day. He goes from panicked to “Ha, I can do whatever the fuck I want!” to desperate, and he keeps falling more in love with Harry.

The Fall of the Veils (lettered, 61k): The veils between the magical and Muggle worlds collapse, causing Muggles to learn about the existence of Wizards. After a long period of war, they’ve reached a tentative era of peace, one that Harry’s determined to upkeep.

The Light More Beautiful (firethesound, 81k): Things go a little differently during their sixth year, and after a heated hook up in the Potions classroom, Harry helps Draco escape from the Death Eaters. Draco returns to London years later and is both thrilled and infuriated when he’s immediately thrown back into Harry’s life.

To Be Where I’m Going (In the Sunshine of Your Love) (@theboywholivcd, 19k):  After attending rival high schools, Harry and Draco end up on the same college swim team. They slowly become close, and as their friendship deepens, Harry finds himself falling in love with Draco. After graduation, they go on a road trip across the country, and Harry can’t help hoping for more.

Touch Me Fall (lumosed_quill, 23k): Draco’s working as a prostitute, and Harry hires him to try to get him out of his system. It works about as well as you’d expect.

‘Twas Brillig (Queenie_Mab, 74k): In this fic, we watch as Harry comes out, gets an amicable divorce from Ginny, and finds himself irrevocably drawn to a sexy, confident Draco. Harry also helps Al (Alice here) with her own journey as they read Alice in Wonderland together and Harry comes to accept that Alice is trans.

Twist of Fate (OakStone730, 302k): Harry and Draco get together fourth year but want to keep their relationship private, so they stage public fights (which are the ones you see in the books). Their journey will break your heart but then piece it back together again.

Worlds Apart (QueenyMidas, 31k): A nonmagical AU in which Harry and Draco’s characters in World of Warcraft meet, and their initial animosity soon gives way to flirting and sexting. They’re both unaware that the boy on the other side of the screen is their high school rival.

Yours is the Earth (Hold On, Hold On) (chickenlivesinpumpkin, 127k): Draco is taken over by a creature, and he has to watch it use his body to commit atrocities without being able to stop it. But when it threatens Harry’s life, Draco begins to fight back.

Dick didn’t mean to get nostalgic, but sometimes it happened— the Manor was like that. It was hard to walk through a decade of memories without feeling them, especially when everything looked the same. Of course it did. Bruce didn’t like it when things changed on him.
Dick ran a hand over the kitchen counters as he passed, up onto the wall and across the room. Yeah, exactly the way he remembered, minus Alfred at the stove. He was out today, probably at the grocery store or waiting in a middle school parking lot somewhere. It was about that time.
His circled the kitchen until his fingers hit the doorframe and stuck on the tape measure glued alongside the wood– right on top of his own name written in Bruce’s handwriting, accompanied by a date six years old. He’d been awfully small back then, hadn’t he? Dick bent down to read the very bottom of the chart, smiling a little bit at the memory. He would have been eight back then. He made Bruce mark his own height on the wall the first time, even though Bruce had protested that he already knew how tall he was. But that wasn’t the point, and he’d given in eventually.
That mark was still there: the highest one on the wall. Dick remembered staring at it every time he got measured, pleased by the way the gap closed as he grew taller, wondering if it would ever close entirely. It didn’t. Dick had stopped growing four inches beneath Bruce’s 6’2.
He was trying not to take that metaphorically.
Measure up, he thought. Funny. He paused over the only thing about the kitchen that had changed— the two marks on the height wall that said Jason (half an inch and three months apart) and wondered if Jason stared at Bruce’s mark too. Or maybe even Dick’s.
Good luck, Dick thought, and left.


Tim understood why Bruce was angry, although “angry” might have been the wrong word. He was upset really, but on Bruce upset and angry looked the same— like slamming doors and punches that were just a little bit too hard. Like not looking Tim in the eye, but staring at him when he thought he wouldn’t notice.
He noticed. Hard not to.
You didn’t do anything wrong, he reminded himself, and Bruce knows that. He’ll get over it in a few days. He always does.
Until then, Tim figured it was best to stay out of the way. He was hiding out in the kitchen, well away from Bruce, staring at the cause of this month’s episode: the growth chart in by the door, specifically two marks labeled Tim and Jason.
Tim’s mark was higher. That made it official— he was taller than Jason had ever been.
Bruce must have seen that coming, but maybe plain seeing it was harder. Tim didn’t blame him for being upset or angry or whatever he was— maybe feeling upset made him angry?— especially when he felt guilty himself. He didn’t mean to outgrow Jason, by any definition. He was just… growing. By himself. Shouldn’t that be a good thing?
Yes. But that didn’t mean it was good for Bruce.
Tim tapped aimlessly on the kitchen table, searching for the source of the guilt he could feel eating through his chest. He hadn’t done anything wrong. He was doing his best to minimize the problem. What else was there?
It was perfectly reasonable for Bruce to be upset. Jason was his son— a more important person than Tim, who was not— and death was hard to handle. Tim knew that. More important. Jason was more important.
Tim wished he wasn’t. He hated himself for wishing that.


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