and i do mean all over the world

kaitcordx25  asked:

Can you do 58, 64, and 68 with Ethan?? Thanks I love your writing 😊❤️

58-I want kisses
64- You mean the world to me
68- That was the cutest thing I’ve ever seen

“Babe love me.” Ethan said as he made a funny face which caused me to start laughing.

“Ethan stop being so cute.” I giggled.

I want kisses.” He then started kissing all over my face and making me laugh even harder. I tried pushing him away, but he was stronger than me.

E-Ethan.” I stuttered as I kept laughing. He kissed all over my cheek and nose and then gave a final peck on my lips.

You mean the world to me. You know that right?” He asked and I nodded.

“I want you to scream it to the world. Say Y/N means the world to me.” I chuckled. He cupped his hands around his mouth and whispered.

“Y/N means the world to me.” I laughed at how cheesy he was.

That was the cutest thing I’ve ever seen.” I giggled as he pulled me back into him as we lied on the couch.

“Like you?” I popped him on the head.

“Stop being so cute Dolan.” I giggled.

“I think you mean smooth.” He smiles which I just leaned up and gave him a peck on the lips.

“Whatever helps you sleep E.” I giggled.

Originally posted by sensualkisses

i want 2 clean out my cc bc i have so many broken meshes that make my sims look like demons but my packages r all merged and i can’t unmerge them bc mac which means i’d have 2 delete all my cc and start over which ive been kind of wanting 2 do plus my game runs so slooooow but

rip

100 Dialogue Prompts: Part 4

It’s amazing to see how much we can create together, my amigos. Here’s part 4.

  1. “Look, I might be evil but even I have standards.”
  2. “Do your parents know you’re dating Death?” “No, I promised we wouldn’t get back together after he broke up with me the first time.”
  3. “Wait why am I naked and covered in cheese?”
  4. “Good god, that cake is fuckin stale and dry mate!!” “Just like how you are recently? Gee, thanks.”
  5. "There is always time for a high-five.”
  6. “Karen, what would ever posses you to find me here.”
  7. “Oh my god, put that man down! Come on, let’s go get you some REAL food.”
  8. “A demonic sugar glider?”
  9. “People always say they never thought they would be here but I absolutely did.”
  10. “And I thought I was a bit weird. But you! You are insane!”
  11. “So your hair knows kung-fu? Ha, that’s nothing! MY hair knows HAIR-ATE!” (You know, as in karate) (This used to be an insider between me and a friend…)
  12. “One day, darling, you and I are going to conquer the Universe not just our world.”
  13. “Did you seriously think they wouldn’t notice when their humans went missing?!”
  14. “Well, maybe next time you should consider that not everyone wants to be woken up at four in the morning by a- what IS that, anyway?!”
  15. “Now, how exactly did your foot get stuck in the barrel?”
  16. “I hope you realize what you’re doing. This forest never ends, you know that, right?”
  17. “You can’t just kill someone and then make it all better by saying sorry!”
  18. “Why the fuck is my cat levitating?!” “He said he wanted to feel what flying was”
  19. “You’re trying to tell me you killed three men…with a microphone?”
  20. “Hang on, are you a John Wick fan?”
  21. “IT’S TWO IN THE MORNING!” “And?” “ I have a strict no murder rule until eight. Call me then.”
  22. “I did realize you were going to be naked the whole time”
  23. “Ok, I understand you like animals, but you can’t just bring a tiger into the apparent without asking!”
  24. “I…I didn’t want you to find out like this. I’m so sorry.”
  25. “OH MY GOD CATHERINE! I JUST SAW A NARWHAL! I’M TELLING YOU, I SAW A FREAKIN’ WHALE UNICORN!”
  26. “I gotta go, I left my toaster in the oven!
  27. "Why is there a gaggle of fancy buisness men on my front lawn?”
  28. “Can you please stop referring to me as ____! That’s not my name!” “Then what is?” “I don’t know!”
  29. *Sarcastic* “Yeah, sure. I won’t at all mind being your footslave.” “Oh, goody! I knew you’d agree!” “Wait, what?”
  30. “When are you going to give up on this whole ‘evil’ thing?” “When it stops being so much fun!”
  31. “You didnt say to KILL the man!” “WELL I DIDNT SAY NOT TOO”
  32. “Mum, Dad… I’m gay.” “That’s nice, honey, but now is not the right time!”
  33. “Take a look at your soul and consider your life choices! Oh wait, that’s right! You don’t fucking have a soul!” “Oh, god, just go drown in a bathtub of syrup why don’t ya?”
  34. “I kindly ask you to please quit making your heart stop. It’s creeping me out!” “So… Y-You were sleeping in a coffin” “Yeah I’m used to it” “Are you a vampire or what?! How can someone get used to sleep in a coffin?” “No I’m used to sleep I never said that I’m used to sleep in a freaking coffin!”
  35. “Darling I love you, more than I can ever express in words…. But please stop teaching chickens necromancy.”
  36. “I wanted to know why you stole souls, not your melodramatic backstory…”
  37. “I really wish that old white man would stop rubbing his nipples at me”
  38. “You know it is written: Do not summon Satan, right ?”
  39. “Look around, what is this?” “My room?” “No, this is pathetic.”
  40. “I’ve been a professor for 20 years, and yet still my greatest secret hasn’t been revealed–I can’t read.”
  41. “Our souls don’t belong in these 'human’ bodies, every one of us is implanted here from another galaxy, and this has been the case for a thousand years. No one knows what 'actual humans’ are like without us inhabiting them.”
  42. “Did you just create a portal in time and space to pull another version of yourself into this world so I have to deal with another annoying idiot?” “No but thanks for the idea.”
  43. “You’re bleeding?!” “Nah, I’m frolicing in a field of flowers - yes I’m bleeding!”
  44. “Let me get this straight. I tell you that I make a decent omelette and you somehow equate that to qualification for piloting a spaceship?”
  45. “It’s the weekend! Let’s hit the town! See a concert, redo our wardrobes, get high, start a crime ring, I don’t know.”
  46. “Keep running, you’ve only got 4HP!”
  47. “This is clearly your first time. Stop screaming already, you’ll wake the neighbors!”
  48. “Has anyone seen the outdoors?” “What the fuck is an outdoors?”
  49. “Why do I feel like this again, I thought we were done with this?”
  50. “Look, as much as I like to hang out with you, I’ve gotta go and save the earth. Toodles!”
  51. “Have you seen?… oh shit”
  52. “Two questions: one, how many matches do you have, and two, where do you keep your socks?”
  53. “Because fuck surveys, that’s why!”
  54. “Stop yelling out the window or the koalas will rip your face off!”
  55. “I guess when I heard 'Night of Debauchery’… I didn’t picture muffins on your pajamas.”
  56. “Honey, you can’t keep throwing people to the pit of pain and despair just because they don’t like choc mint ice cream.”
  57. “Oh, no honey, put that back…”
  58. “It’s going to be too late, you know. It’s always too late.”
  59. “Hey, so, uh… I’m in trouble…” “What did you do this time?” “I got stranded in Wales….. again…”
  60. “OK, but… how do we get the dog out of a hole in space in time exactly?”
  61. “Aren’t people supposed to grow instead of shrink ?”
  62. “Wait. You’re aroused?” “Why would that surprise you?” “It does on account of you being covered in blood. Wipe that smile off your face. You look like a cat in heat.”
  63. "I pay your taxes”
  64. “No, ____. We did not raise our hamster like this.”
  65. “You can’t run from your own shadow(s), what makes you think you can run from theirs?”
  66. “You adopted… a dog?” “Mate, that’s not a dog.”
  67. “And at this moment, he decided to punch himself in the face.” “Narrator, listen, I know you’ve been with me my whole life, but you’re a huge jerk.”
  68. “Why didn’t you tell me it was a portal BEFORE we ended up here?”
  69. “Is that…the Mona Lisa.” “…Yes…” “What did I say to you about stealing priceless artifacts!?” “…That I had to take you with me next time.” “Exactly!”
  70. “Yes, I agree, magic is pretty cool. But did you really have to use it for THIS?”
  71. “Despite the fact that was epic, you’re still suspended”
  72. “Chill, dad it’s not what you think it is!” “Well it looks like you’re making out with the demon your grandma banished to cellar…WHY IS HE IN YOUR ROOM?”
  73. “If you truly love me you’ll let me-OH FUCKING HELL DID YOU JUST STAB ME!?”
  74. “Spoon”
  75. “What began as a conflict over the transfer of consciousness from flesh to machines escalated into a war which has decimated a Million worlds.The ___ and the ___ have all but exhausted the the resources of a galaxy in their struggle for domination. Both sides, now crippled beyond repair, the remnants of their armies continue to battle on ravaged planets, their hatred fueled by over four thousand years of total war. This is a fight to the death. For each side, the only acceptable outcome is…“
  76. ”… I’m going back to bed. You brought it here, you can deal with the mammoth yourself.“
  77. "Is the food supposed to be moving?”
  78. “You mean to tell me that in the two minutes I was gone,  you bombed a minor country,  got married to a stripper,  and assassinated a world leader?!”
  79. “Is that a unicorn???? EATING MY BEEF JERKY?!”
  80. “Do I get to dream about you again tonight?”
  81. “Well now I have to change clothes AGAIN!”
  82. “All of this was because of a… OF A PLUSHIE?!” “Well…Yeah?” “Great, how are we going to get out of jail now?!”
  83. “So…you gonna tell me why my brother is upside down and why you’re wearing my purple thong?”
  84. “Did you really have to burn down another Cracker Barrel?”
  85. “Sir, that’s impossible, you can’t do that.” “IS THAT A FUCKING CHALLENGE?!?!”
  86. “We need to invade Portugal.” “…Sure, why not?”
  87. “Did you divide by zero?! YOU’RE GOING TO KILL US ALL”
  88. “Stand down, Milady, this is a matter between gentlemen with mustaches.”
  89. “Next time you get arrested I am NOT paying your bail” “That’s a lie and you know it.” “….”
  90. “I thought you were dead.” “So did I”
  91. “John dont flush the dog down the toilet”
  92. “What did I say again about resurrecting dictators??”
  93. “Cucumbers are NOT pets… what do you mean, you ate him??”
  94. “Are you and God seriously fighting right now? And what happened to Satan?”
  95. “Are ferrets supposed to be blue??”
  96. “I’m the protagonist? Well I guess that explains why I look like about a thousand other people.”
  97. “Why do I do this to myself?”
  98. “Stop eating your tortilla chips with ketchup. It’s unattractive.”
  99. “How do you eat an entire cheese wheel in one sitting?”
  100. “Why are God and Satan moving in with us?”

Let’s make one more ‘100 Dialogue Prompts’ list together. Leave a comment with your prompt below. Don’t forget the double quotes “”. And as always, only one prompt per amigo! Also, here is your random Dutch word of the day: pindakaas

Recognize the Armenian Genocide

On April 24, 1915, Ottoman Turkey began the annihilation of the Armenian people, killing 1.5 million Armenians, and creating the first genocide of the 20th century. Turkey has attempted to keep this genocide forgotten, however, the blood that runs in the veins of the descendants of the survivors has not allowed that to happen. While some countries have recognized it as a genocide, we still have struggled to obtain complete worldwide recognition. The Turkish government continues not to take blame for what their forefather have done. They deny any and all of those actions, despite the outstanding amount of evidence.

Tumblr, what I ask you today is to please reblog this to educate your followers, so that they may pass it on as well. Within this month, do something small. Maybe, post something on your social media having to do with the genocide, so that the people you know may be educated and pass the word on. If you are really wanting to get involved, there will be marches all over the world to get recognition. I know this is a website full of people who stand for activism. Please, help educate the world on this matter. It would mean a lot to me, who lost ancestors during that time, and other Armenians who share the same story. Thank you.

agenderraskel  asked:

What do you think of JARVIS? Can he get inside your arm? Has he ever done so? Are you ever concerned about him taking over the world?

i like jarvis. hes everything nickel science fiction novels promised back when i was a kid.

 jarvis–and anyone else for that matter–cant get inside my arm because my arm has no ability to transmit or receive data, except for an internal data port under the armor plates which has to be accessed with a unique cable. so if you can get at it and you have the necessary equipment you can mess with my arm, but it’s impossible to hack while im out doing stuff. 

not that tony or i told anyone that for the first few months. i managed to knock steves glass out of his hands four times, throw things at clint six times, and smack sam upside the head twice before they realized that my arm was not being remotely controlled by ‘the evil Dr Dextrous.’ 

im not concerned about jarvis taking over the world because probably hed be a lot better at keeping things running smoothly that current management. jarvis has managed to keep tony stark mostly alive without actually having hands for like. several decades now. which probably qualifies him for sainthood, or at least a really nice retirement package. i figure after all that chaos managing a few billion non-geniuses without access to flying tanks is basically a cakewalk. 

but since jarvis has more sense than–well. basically any avenger–he knows that taking over the world would be way more stress than its worth.
jarvis is smart like that.

100 ways to say “I love you”:
1. You are beautiful.
2. I love your smile.
3. Here, let me get that for you.
4. I love seeing you wake up in the morning.
5. You are amazing.
6. I love (this) about you:
7. Stay safe. Text me when you get there.
8. I love when you do (this):
9. I think you’re beautiful when:
10. You’re too good for me.
11. I don’t deserve you.
12. I care about you.
13. Don’t put yourself down like that.
14. I adore you.
15. I can’t stop thinking about you.
16. Seeing you makes me smile.
17. I need you by my side.
18. I’m thankful for you.
19. You make me a better person.
20. You complete me.
21. Have a good day at work!
22. You’re the light of my life.
23. Seeing you makes my day.
24. I get butterflies every time we talk.
25. I’m so lucky to have you; I don’t know how I got so lucky.
26. You set my heart on fire.
27. I’ll walk you home.
28. I love to make you happy.
29. You’re my soulmate.
30. You’re my best friend.
31. I can’t wait to see you (again).
32. You mean the world to me.
33. You’re my rock.
34. I value you.
35. I want to spend the rest of my life with you.
36. I love being around you.
37. Pull over and let me drive some.
38. Take my jacket, it’s cold outside.
39. I want you.
40. You complete me.
41. You’re my happiness.
42. Do you need anything?
43. I want to hold your hand and never let go.
44. You’re the only one for me.
45. You are my heaven on earth.
46. Every time I look at you I fall in love all over again.
47. Drive safe.
48. I don’t know what I’d do without you.
49. Forever isn’t too long, because I know I’ll be with you.
50. I’d rather argue with you than kiss someone else.
51. You look great today.
52. I love that _______ on you.
53. You look cute when you push your glasses up.
54. I’ll always be here; I’m here for you.
55. My heart hurts when you’re not around.
56. I can’t think of what my life would be like without you.
57. We’re perfect for each other.
58. I cherish you; you’re more important than anything else in my life.
59. I will love you until I die, and even after.
60. You’re mine.
61. I support you.
62. I’m addicted to you.
63. You’re perfect in my eyes.
64. Take this; it’ll help you feel better.
65. I can’t wait to see you.
66. You’re the only one for me.
67. I’m crazy about you.
68. I had an amazing time with you.
69. I feel so lucky to have you.
70. I’ll never let you go; I’ll never want to.
71. I hope this moment never ends.
72. You leave me breathless.
73. I’d do anything for you.
74. Seeing you happy makes me happy.
75. I’m sorry for hurting your feelings.
76. You always find a way to make me smile.
77. I can’t put what I feel for you into words; it’s too great.
78. I still get jealous even though I know you’re mine.
79. I’m listening to you.
80. I made this for you, I know it’s your favorite.
81. I’m excited and nervous for tonight with you.
82. I got you your favorite candy.
83. I’ll always care about you.
84. I made you breakfast.
85. I can never stay mad at you.
86. I love your eyes; they’re gorgeous.
87. I love that outfit on you.
88. You look so cute.
89. You’re the highlight of my day.
90. How’d you sleep?
91. Your smile makes my heart go crazy.
92. I hate seeing you cry.
93. It’s my job to make you happy.
94. I want to spend more time with you.
95. I’ll fix it.
96. I hate when we argue.
97. You’re the only person I want to live my life with.
98. You drive me crazy (in a good way).
99. I’m proud of you.
100. I trust you, I always will.

- L.L.
—  via @thoughtlessinspirationss on tumblr
theguardian.com
The great British Brexit robbery: how our democracy was hijacked
A shadowy operation involving big data, billionaire friends of Trump and the disparate forces of the Leave campaign heavily influenced the result of the EU referendum. Is our electoral process still fit for purpose?
By Carole Cadwalladr

Okay.

It took me days to get time together to read this whole thing, but I have finally done it.

This is it. This is the one article you need to read to understand just what is going on in Britain, America, and Russia.

This is the one piece of writing you need and can use to reference the very chilling reality that these countries have been tied together in the machinations  of just a few billionaires, and how Facebook and Google tie in insidiouslyi.

I keep telling y’all to stop fucking with facebook but that’s moot now. It’s so much bigger than this.

“Was that really what you called it, I ask him. Psychological warfare? “Totally. That’s what it is. Psyops. Psychological operations – the same methods the military use to effect mass sentiment change. It’s what they mean by winning ‘hearts and minds’. We were just doing it to win elections in the kind of developing countries that don’t have many rules.”Why would anyone want to intern with a psychological warfare firm, I ask him. And he looks at me like I am mad. “It was like working for MI6. Only it’s MI6 for hire. It was very posh, very English, run by an old Etonian and you got to do some really cool things. Fly all over the world. You were working with the president of Kenya or Ghana or wherever. It’s not like election campaigns in the west. You got to do all sorts of crazy shit.”“

This is not just a story about social psychology and data analytics.

 It has to be understood in terms of a military contractor using military strategies on a civilian population. 

Us. David Miller, a professor of sociology at Bath University and an authority in psyops and propaganda, says it is “an extraordinary scandal that this should be anywhere near a democracy. It should be clear to voters where information is coming from, and if it’s not transparent or open where it’s coming from, it raises the question of whether we are actually living in a democracy or not.”

“And it was Facebook that made it possible. It was from Facebook that Cambridge Analytica obtained its vast dataset in the first place. Earlier, psychologists at Cambridge University harvested Facebook data (legally) for research purposes and published pioneering peer-reviewed work about determining personality traits, political partisanship, sexuality and much more from people’s Facebook “likes”. And SCL/Cambridge Analytica contracted a scientist at the university, Dr Aleksandr Kogan, to harvest new Facebook data. And he did so by paying people to take a personality quiz which also allowed not just their own Facebook profiles to be harvested, but also those of their friends – a process then allowed by the social network.”

Read this. Read the entire thing. It will take you a while and it’s a lot to digest but you need to know.

Signal boost.

@sunderlorn we’re finally completely united in propaganda, isn’t that nice!?

Hogwarts House Friendships

Gryffindor x Gryffindor
“Remember that one time when we went to-”
“Yeah and we ended up-”
“And OH MY GOD REMEMBER HOW WE CRASHED THAT-”
“CELEB’S WEDDING AND OFFERED FIREWHISKEY TO THE PRIEST WHILE DRUNK? HOW COULD I FORGET?”

Gryffindor x Hufflepuff
“I’ve always loved snow and snowboarding sounds fun, but…”
“Okay, let’s do it”

“But…”
“Don’t worry, I’ll be here to keep you safe”

“Somehow, I don’t think that I’m the one who’ll get hurt…”

Gryffindor x Ravenclaw
“There is a 98.46% chance of getting hurt”
“I guess I just have to be the 1.54%”

“That’s not how-”
“Too late”

Gryffindor x Slytherin
“You suck”
“But you swallow”

“Did you just-”
“… I love you?”

Hufflepuff x Hufflepuff
“Guess who got all fifty Disney movies?”
“… You know what this means?”

“Obviously.”
“Disney marathon slumber party in an hour. Let’s do this.”

Hufflepuff x Ravenclaw
“Ugh… But I’m in the middle of a book”
“C’mon you need to go socialize”

“But but but”
“And have you been procrastinating to read again?”

Hufflepuff x Slytherin
“I swear that bitch is going to suffer”
“Shh it’s okay you can do that when you take over the world”

“I mean I just hate when people judge me because of my family”
“SHE DID WHAT NOW”

Ravenclaw x Ravenclaw
“Dude when you’re done with that book I have another one”
“Ahh yes please gimme”

“…”
“…”

*content silence while snuggling and reading by the fireplace*

Ravenclaw x Slytherin
“So I may or may not have intercepted this coded message…”
“…”

“…”
“Let’s do this”

Slytherin x Slytherin
“I’m fine don’t worry”
“… I know you’re not”

“…”
“C’mon, I have some lavender oil and butterbeer. That’ll help.”

Japan is an island by the sea filled with volcanoes and it’s ♪♫ beautiful ♫♪.
In the year negative a billion, Japan might not have been here. In the year negative forty thousand, it was here, and you could walk to it, and some people walked to it. Then it got warmer, some icebergs melted, it became an island, and now there’s lots of ♫ trees ♫. Because it’s warmer.
So now there’s people on the island; they’re basically sort of hanging out in between the mountains eating nuts off trees and using the latest technology. Like stones, and bowls.
Ding dong, it’s the outside world, and they have technology from the future. Like really good metal, and ♪ crazy rice farms ♪. Now you can make a lot of rice really really quickly. That means if you own the farm, then you own a lot of food, which is something everybody needs to survvvvive. So that makes you king.
Rice farming and rice kingdoms spread all across the land, all the way to here. The most important kingdoms were here (Hi), here (Chikushi), here (Izumo), here (Kibi), here (Yamato), here (Koshi), and here (Kenu). But this one (Yamato) was the most most important, ruled by a heavenly superperson, or emperor for short.
Knock knock, get the door, it’s religion. The new prince wants everyone to try this hot new religion 🎺🎺🎺 (Buddhism) from Baekje.
“Please try this religion,” he said.
“No,” said everybody.
“Try iiiiit,” he said.
“no,” said everybody again, quieter this time.
And so the religion was put into place and all the rules that came with it.
Then, the government was taken over by another clique (Taika). And they made some reforms , like making the government govern more, and making the government more like China’s government, which is a government that governs more.
“Hi China,” they said.
“Hi dipshit (wa, dwarf),” said China.
“Can you call us something else, other than dipshit?” said Japan.
“Like what?” said China.
♫♪"How about sunrise laaand?“♪♫ said Japan.
And they stole China’s alphabet and wrote a book. About themselves! And then they made lots of poetry and art and another book about themselves.
Then they stopped moving the capital every time the emperor died and kept it in one place for a while, right here (Kyoto, Heian Palace). And they conquered the north finally, get that squared away.
A rich hipster named Kūkai is bored with modern Buddhism and visits China, learns a better version which is more ♫♪ spiritual ♪♫, comes back, reinvents the alphabet, and causes art and literature to be ♫♪ great ♪♫ for a long time. And the royal palace turned into such a dreamworld of art that they really didn’t give a shit about running the country.
So if you live outside the palace, how are you supposed to protect your shit, from criminals? ♫♪ Hire a samurai. ♪♫ Everyone started hiring samurai. Rich important people hired samurai. Poor people who could not afford to hire samurai did not hire samurai. The samurai became organized and powerful, more powerful than the government. So they made their own military government, right here. They let the emperor still be emperor, but the shogun was actually in control.
Breaking news, the Mongols have invaded China.
"W̛e҉’ve i͟nv̕aded ̵Chi͠na̸,” said the Mongols, “Pl͘e̶a̷se̵ ͝res͢p̛ȩc̷t u͢s҉,͜ or͜ el̕se w͞e ͟m̛igh͟t ͠i͝nvade͡ ̕y͜o̕u̕ ͡a͡s̕ ̡well̀.̢”
“Okay,” said Japan.
So the Mongols came over, ready for war, and died in a tornadotyphoon. But they tried again, and had a nice time fighting with the Japanese, but then died in a tornadotyphoon.
Then the emperor overthrows the shogunate, then the shogunate overthrows him back and moves to Kyoto, and makes a new shogunate. And the emperor can still dress like an emperor if he wants, that’s fine.
♫♪ Now there’s more art. ♪♫
Like painting with less colors, collaborative poetry, plays, monkey fun, tea parties, gardening, architecture, flowers.
It’s time for who’s going to be the next shogun. Usually it’s the shogun’s kid, but the shogun doesn’t have a kid. So he tries to get his brother to quit being a monk and be the next shogun. He says okay. But then the shogun has a kid. So now who’s it gonna be? Vote now on your phones. And everyone voted so hard that the palace caught on fire and burned down. The shogun actually didn’t care, he was off somewhere doing poetry. And the whole country broke into pieces. Everyone is fighting with each other for local power, and it’s anybody’s game.
Knock knock, it’s Europe. No, they’re not here to take over, they just wanna sell some shit. Like clocks, and guns, and ♫♪ Jesus ♪♫. So that’s cool. But everyone’s still fighting each other for control. Now with guns! And wouldn’t it be nice to control the capital, which right now is puppets, with no one controlling them? This clan (Imagawa) is ready to make a run for it, but first they have to trample this smaller clan (Oda) which is in the way. Surprise, smaller clan wins! And the leader of that clan (Oda Nobunaga) steals the idea of invading the capital, and invades the capital. And it goes very well.
He’s about halfway through conquering Japan when someone who works for him kills him, then someone else who works for him (Toyotomi Hideyoshi) kills them, and that guy finishes conquering Japan. And then he confiscated everybody’s swords. And he made some rules.
“Ąnd͟ n͟ow I'̛m̶ goińg̡ to ͘inva͞d̨e ͝Kor͟e͡a,̵ an͝d͢ ̶the̴n h͜op̷ef̕ull͏y ̵Chin͢a̛,” he said, and failed, and also died.
But before he died, he told these five guys to take care of his five year old son until he’s old enough to be the next ruler of Japan. And the five guys said yeah right, it’s not gonna be this kid, it’s gonna be one of us. ‘Cause we’re grownups. And it’s probably gonna be this guy (Tokugawa Ieyasu) who happens to be way more rich and powerful than the others.
A lot of people support him, but a lot of people (Ishida Mitsunari) support not supporting him. They have a fight, and he wins. And starts a new government, right here. ♫♪ Edo ♫♪ And he still lets the emperor dress like an emperor, and have very nice things. But don’t get confused, this (Tokugawa family) is the new government. And they are very strict, so strict they close the country. No one can leave, and no one can come in. Except for the Dutch, if they wanna buy and sell shit, but they have to do it right here (Dejima).
Now that the entire country was not at war with itself, the population increased a lot. Business increased, schools were built, roads were built, everyone learned to read, books were published. There was poetry (haiku), plays (kabuki), sexytimes, puppet shows (bunraku), and Dutch studies. People started to study European science from books they bought from the Dutch. We’re talking geography, skeletons, physics, chemistry, astronomy, and maybe even electricity.
Over time, the economic and cultural prosperity began to gradually slow do-
*impending doom music*
Knock knock. It’s the United States. With huge boats. With guns. Gunboats.
“O͜pe͡ņ,̨ t͡he͏ ͘c̷o̷ưntry. ͠S̛t͜o̡p̛,̵ ҉ha͠v̀in͜g̷ i͝t̀ ͝be̴ ́clo͞sed.̢” said the United States.
*music ends*
There was really nothing they could do, so they signed a contract that lets United States, Britain, and Russia visit Japan anytime they want.
Chōshu and Satsuma hated this. “That sucks!” they said. “This sucks!!!”
And with almost very little outside help, (from Britain) they overthrew the shogunate. And somehow made the emperor the emperor again, and moved him to Edo, which they renamed eastern capital (Tokyo). They made a new government, which was a lot more Western. And they made a new constitution, which was.. pretty Western. And a military that was… pretty Western (large).
And do you know what else is Western? That’s right, it’s conquering stuff. So what can we conquer? Korea! They conquer Korea, taking it from its previous owner, China, and then go a little bit further (Liaodong Peninsula).
And Russia rushes in out of nowhere and says, “Stop no you can’t do that we were gonna build a railroad through here to try to get some warm water.” And Russia builds their railroad, supervised by a shitton of soldiers. Then, when the railroad was done, they downgraded to a fuckton. Did I say downgrade? I meant upgrade.
And Japan says, “Can you maybe chill?”
And Russia says, “How 'bout maybe you chill?”
Japan is kind of scared of Russia. You’ll never guess who's alsokind of scared of Russia. Great Britain! So Japan and Great Britain make an alliance together so they can be a little less scared of Russia. Feeling confident, Japan goes to war against Russia, but just for a moment, and then they both get tired and stop.
♫♪ It’s time for World War I ♪♫
The world is about to have a war. Because it’s the 1900s, and weapons are getting crazy, and all these empires are excited to try them out on each other. Meanwhile, Japan has been enjoying conquering stuff and wants m̵͡͝͝o͏̨̨̢͢o͏͏̵̧̕ơ̢̢͜͜o͠͏͢ó͘o̶̢̧ó̷͝͠o͝͡o̧͘r̨̢̕ȩ̸ and the next thing on their list is this part of China (Qingdao) and lots of tiny islands.
All that stuff belongs to Germany, which just had war declared on by Britain, because Britain was friends with Belgium, who was being trespassed by Germany in order to get to France to kick France’s ass because France was friends with Russia who was getting ready to kick Austria’s ass because Austria was getting ready to kick Serbia’s ass because someone from Serbia shot the leader of Austria’s ass. Err, actually, he shot him in the head. And Britain is currently friends with Japan. So you know what that means, duhhh.
♫♪ Japan should take the islands. ♪♫ Which they wanted to do anyway. So they sort of called Britain on the tele(gram) to sort of let them know, and then they did it! And they also helped Britain here and there with some errands and stuff. *bell rings*
Now the war is over, and congratulations Japan, you technically fought in the war which means you get to sit at the negotiating table (Paris Peace Conference), with the big dudes, where they decided who owns what. And yes, Japan gets to keep all that shit they stole from Germany. And you also get to join the post-war mega alliance ♫♪ the League of Nations ♪♫ whose mission statement is to try not to take over the world.
The Great Depression is bad, and Japan’s economy is now crappy. But the military is doing just fine, and it invades Manchuria. And the League of Nations is like ♪"No don’t do that if you’re in the League of Nations you’re not supposed to try to take over the world.“♪
And Japan said, ♫♪ How bout I do, anyway? ♪♫ And Japan invaded more and more and more of China, and was planning to invade the entire East.
You’ve got mail.
It’s from Germany, the new leader of Germany, he has a cool mustache and is trying to take over the world and needs friends. This also got forwarded to Italy. They all decided to be friends because they had so much in common.
♫♪ It’s time for World War II ♪♫
Germany is invading the neighbors, then they invade the neighbors’ neighbors, then, the neighbor’s neighbors’ neighbors, who happen to be Britain, said "Holy shiiit” and the United States started helping Britain because they are ♫♪ good friends ♪♫ and started not helping Japan because ♫♪" Their friends and our friends are not friends. Plus they’re planning on invaaading the entire ocean.“♪♫
The United States is also working on a large, very huge bomb. Bigger than any other bomb, ever. Just in case (Germany). But they still haven’t joined the war, war looks bad on TV, and the United States is really starting to care about their image.
But then Japan spits on them, in Hawai'i, and challenges them to war. And they say yes! And then Germany, as a symbol of friendship, declares war on the United States also. And they help the gang chase Germany back into Germany. And they also chase Japan back into Japan. And they haven’t used the bomb yet, and are curious to see if it works, so they drop it on Japan.
They actually drop two.
(You win.)
The United States installed a new government, inspired by the United States government, with just the right ingredients for a ♫♪ post-war economic miracle ♪♫ and Japan starts making TVs, VCRs, automobiles, and camcorders as fast as they can. And also better than everybody else. They get rich, and the economy goes wild. But then the miracle wears off, but everything’s still pretty cool I guess. ♪♫ Bye. ♫♪

I JUST NEED TO TALK ABOUT HOW FUCKED Jack is in this comic, though?

This is just the ultimate in ‘damned if you do, damned if you don’t.’  The news is blistering with ‘Overwatch anti-sovereignty?’  ‘Japanese government complains about Blackwatch!’  ‘Investigation into Cairo Incident!’  ‘New civilian leader for Overwatch?’  Everybody is mad at them and criticizing every move they make.  Jack’s position is being threatened.  He says himself that Overwatch can’t afford another PR nightmare.

And then all his agents are telling him how they NEED to go into London, despite the Prime Minister telling them to stay out.  People are going to die if they don’t!  They won’t be able to handle the fallout if they wait!

I mean you can see how Overwatch could have come to this. There are so many crises all the time, all over the world, and as an international entity, you have to choose: do you go in and help people even if you’re being told not to?  What gives you the right, when you’re supposed to be serving and protecting the governments of the world?  But then what if there’s a genocide happening, or the government itself is deliberately persecuting part of its own population?  Floods?  Rampant disease?  If you don’t intervene, then people die.  If you do, then you’re violating international borders.  Either way, as the guy making the call, you’re screwed.  You’ve got the blood of thousands on your hands, or else you’re a walking diplomatic incident.  But meanwhile, the world’s governments are getting more and more unhappy with you because you keep meddling in their affairs.

Jack chooses–for probably the thousandth time–to save lives, even if they’ll all pay for it.  We might be seeing the very moment when Jack murders his career and takes Overwatch with it.  

Anyway, at this point johnlock is canon.

John and Rosie move into 221b and it’s like “wait only two bedrooms oh nooooo what shall we ever do? 👀” And Sherlock is a gentleman and offers John his bed and he will of course sleep on the couch and John says “don’t be ridiculous” and so it only makes sense for them to share a bed PLATONICALLY of course.

But then one night, after a few weeks of this arrangement, John is like “is this normal? I mean…do friends do this sort of thing?” And Sherlock says “I doubt it. But then, when have we ever been normal?” And looks over to John with a soft smile and John looks back and they both burst into giggles just like that first night.

And John closes the distance between them like it’s the most natural thing in the world, because it IS. Because it’s real and it fits and Sherlock makes a sound like he’s broken and the two of them kiss and kiss and kiss, like they’ve got all the time in the world. Because they do, now. They have that time.

And eventually Rosie cries on the baby monitor and John breaks the kiss to get her and Sherlock says “I’ll come with” and the two of them share sweet sipping kisses while tending to the baby and John says “You’re going to kill me! I’m trying to be a proper parent here,” and Sherlock shrugs and says “Rosie needs to get used to seeing us this way anyway” and John is like “Oi! I don’t really want our little girl to watch us make out.”

And Sherlock freezes and his eyes fill and he says “Our little girl?” And John realizes and his heart breaks a little and he and Rosie go into Sherlock’s arms and both clutch at him and John says “of course, yes, OURS” and if his voice wavers a little with unshed tears, Sherlock doesn’t mention it.

They hold each other like that until their daughter is sleeping soundly once more and they put her back in her crib and when they make love, it’s at the same unhurried pace that they kissed. Because they have the time now. They have forever.

Hogwarts School Uniform

The other day I read a series of posts on the Hogwarts uniform and how book!uniform differs from movie!uniform, which is more canonical and whether there’s been/there should be some retconning to unify the books, films and illustrations from different sources. Since wizarding fashion is one of my favourite subjects (particularly since the word “corsets” was mentioned in HBP), I thought I had to write a post about it. So here it goes.

On tradition and unmuggleness

As much as I like the movie uniforms, the way I see it, they’re irreconcilable with those described in the books, which, both because they’re from the book and because that’s how I see them in my head, I consider canonical. Most people point out as proof of this that in a couple of occasions we are told more or less directly that the basic (I’ll talk more about this later) uniform does not bear any house indicator (see the Penelope Clearwater and Crabbe-and-Goyle’d Ron-and-Harry Cases, both in CoS). This is true. However, what I see as a bigger issue is the fact that the movie!uniform is basically a muggle school uniform with robes instead of a blazer, which, considering how often we see wizards struggling with muggle clothing, doesn’t really add up. And given that school uniforms tend to be on the conservative side of fashion, it would make much more sense to have the Hogwarts uniform resemble traditional wizarding attire.

On openings and trouserslessness

The movie robes are completely open at the front save for one (PoA-onwards) or two (PS-CoS) little clasps, which would take next to no time to do up and undo, so the movie robes would be put on and off like a bathrobe or a coat. However, most (if not all) of the times we see Harry changing into his school robes he’s described as pulling them over his head. To me that implies that the front is not open all the way down, that maybe there’s just a small opening with a few buttons, like a polo shirt. Either that or the robes are open all the way down but fastening and unfastening them is so tedious that students simply never do them up or undo them all the way. In a pre-zipper world, a front opening like that would most probably mean a metric tonne of little buttons, at least (look up some old-timey portraits, particularly of women’s fashion. They took their buttons seriously). No one has time to fiddle with that many buttons, so it would be easier to undo a few of the top ones and pull the robes over your head.

Personally, I think the left-hand version fits the description of “plain black work robes” better. And yes, there’s no indication anywhere in the books that the sleeves are flared or gathered at the top, but they look more wizardy this way, so. 

For an even more undeniable piece of evidence that supports the idea of having a closed front, look no further than Snape’s worst memory in OotP. When he gets levicorpused by James, we see his underwear. He’s not wearing trousers. Wh. Why is he not wearing trousers??? Because there’s no risk of accidental exposure of one’s undergarments when there isn’t a massive opening on the front of one’s robes, that’s why. Also, if for some sinister reason he had not been wearing trousers under open-fronted robes, everybody would’ve been able to see his pants already and it wouldn’t have been “funny” when James revealed them.

Moreover, it seems that trousers, even though they are worn in the wizarding world, are neither required nor part of traditional wizarding attire. See the old man at the Quidditch World Cup. Trousers have been adopted to some extent, but they are not considered wizarding clothing per se, but rather a garment borrowed from muggles. So if we go back to the idea that uniforms tend to be conservative, the Hogwarts uniform would have probably been designed to be worn with no clothes underneath other than underwear.

On hats gone with the wind and cloaks

Hats. “One plain pointed hat (black) for day wear.” Day wear. In the films (PS, basically), hats seem to only be worn on special occasions. And I can understand that; On set they’re probably a huge inconvenience as they like to fall off and have to be touched up constantly and may cover something/someone important. Still, canonically, a pointed black hat for day wear is part of the Hogwarts uniform.

Now, do not quote me on this, but I am positive that in one of the books there is a description of a windy day where students grab the brims of their hats so that they don’t get blown off. That’s the one and only time in the whole series (that I can remember) where the uniform hats are said to be brimmed. It makes sense, though, as traditional witch hats do have a brim. Modest brims seem adequate for uniforms. (I do think it is strange to make students wear hats indoors, but oh well.)

(Edit:  ‘ “Maybe I’ll skive off Divination,” he said glumly as they stood again in the courtyard after lunch, the wind whipping at the hems of robes and brims of hats.’ - OotP, chapter 17)

Then there’s the winter cloaks. Again, plain and black, this time with silver clasps. No crest, no house colours. And there’s also the protective dragonskin gloves, which seem to be used both as protective gloves for Potions/Care of Magical Creatures/Herbology and as regular winter gloves.

On house pride (or the lack thereof)

So far we have established that the uniform consists basically of plain black garments: a set of black robes (closed front), a black cloak, a black hat. Hence, by default, there is no way to tell what house a student belongs to just by their attire. Or is there? Here’s where the “basic uniform” I mentioned  before comes into play.

It is true that the robes, hats and cloaks are plain black when bought. And yet, there are many points in the story when Harry seems to simply know what house some students belong to, even when he clearly doesn’t know them. We get constant references to “a gorup of first year Ravenclaws” or “a Hufflepuff girl”, and since the story is told from Harry’s point of view rather than an omniscient narrator’s, there must be a way for Harry to tell apart people from different houses without knowing them personally. So how can we reconcile the ideas that some people’s house is recognisable at first sight while other people’s isn’t? It’s quite simple: CUSTOMISATION.

Bagdes, scarves, appliques, ribbons, hat ornaments, buttons, socks, belts, and a long etc, to show your house pride. Just as we can get jumpers and hoodies and caps and whatnot with the name and colours of our uni or specific college, kids in the wizarding world are probably able to buy (and make) house merchandise. These items would be available at Diagon Alley and Hogsmeade, and parents would send them to their children once they’ve been sorted or the kids themselves would be able to get them via owl order.

Some students may only wear a small badge on their chest. Others a scarf+turtleneck undershirt+bandana+animal-shaped hat bauble combo. I love to imagine some kids wearing ridiculously tacky things, like red-and-gold neck ruffles or bee-striped boots. And those kids who are not as inclined to show off their house? They can just wear their basic black uniform.  

Vagina Care post

I’ve gotten a lot of messages on vaginal care, do’s and don’ts etc. so I’m just going to make a general post of how to take care of your vajayjay (feel free to add on). 

 1. Do not shove anything that isn’t supposed to be in your vagina in your vagina. Your vagina practically does all the work for you, all you have to do is wash it with warm water. Stay away from douches, vagina soap, vaginal deodorants, regular soap, (I’ve heard of girls shoving yogurt and fruits directly in their vagina to keep it fresh?) major no no. Save the vagina food storage for when it’s needed during the zombie apocalypse. 

 2. Eating fruits, vegetables, cranberry juice AND GREEK YOGURT are major keys to balancing your ph which is great for vaginal odor and taste. But if your vagina doesn’t smell or taste like a edible arrangement that’s okay! Nothing is wrong with your vagina. Some girls say that their vaginas taste like freshly cut pineapples after eating pineapples and some girls say their vagina tastes and smell just like a vagina even after stuffing up on pineapples. To each is their own vag.

 a. There is no scientific evidence that your vagina taste sweeter because of fruits and veggies (side note: a “sweet” vagina can sometimes mean diabetes) 

b. A vagina with a balanced ph is naturally tasteless. 

 3. If you don’t want to shave your vagina hair you definitely don’t have to by any means. However, a trimmed vagina decreases vaginal odor, it’s easier to clean during your menstruation, decrease in the amount of dirt and bacteria trapped in hairs. But if you think you smell fine and or have found a balance to maintaining the smell and taking care of your hairs, cornrow your vag hair if you like, shit it’s your body. 

 4. Wear cotton underwear, the thinness allows your vagina to breath. For a happier vagina don’t even wear underwear. My gyno recommended going commando after your day is over and you’re relaxing at home so your vagina is free to live and explore the world. 

 5. Kegals. You gotta keep ya thing tight for bladder control and so ya partner can chase ya waterfalls during intercourse if you know what I mean *wink *wink 💦💦💦 

 6. For all my freak a leaks out there do not switch to vaginal inter course after anal (and if you do switch condoms). This increases your chance of a UTI due to the bacteria from your feces (yes bitch your feces) easily traveling to your vagina. Pee after sex and get all those toxins out of your life girl. 

 7. I can’t stress this enough go to your annual check ups and don’t lie to your doctors! They’re not there to judge, they’re there to make sure your ass is being a healthy hoe. That’s all I can think of for now babes. Feel free to add on. Bless up

WARNING:YOU ARE ABOUT TO WITNESS A CYPRIOT WOMAN FANGIRLING OVER A PRECIOUS CREATION , KNOW AS JOSHUA)

So…. today back in 1995 a baby was born. 

A little wittle baby that would soon turn into the one and only Joshua.

Who is Joshua?

Joshua, born Hong Jisoo, is one of the vocalists of 17.

But what makes Hong Jisoo, Hong Jisoo.

Well, firstly, Joshua is extremely cute.

 

Originally posted by shwua

I mean look at him! He is so precious! His face is small, his smile is sweet he has got a cute button nose and his eye smile makes all boys and girls all over the world melt.

Originally posted by jishooua

Secondly, Joshua speaks to sweetly and kindly.

Originally posted by shwua

His voice is smooth and caring. His manner of speech is kind yet passionate yet also calm.

Originally posted by shwua

Thirdly, he is so talented! I mean he can sing, play the guitar, dance and do so much more. Honestly, the boy should stop hogging the talent and leave some for the rest of us!

Originally posted by shwua

Originally posted by performanceunit

Originally posted by koraenpop

Originally posted by jihanlife

*****

Joshua is a rather interesting persona? 

Why you may ask…

Well, lets just say

This is Joshua: (He makes my ovaries exp-

Insert Joshua: nooooooooooooo)

Originally posted by shwua

And this is also Joshua

Originally posted by wonshi-17

You see my problem?

This isn’t a human being. This is an angel(sorry Jeonghan!)

So lets appreciate him shall we?

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

Goodness how can you be antifa and not vegan? Be intersectional, not defensive.

theres no ethical consumption under late capitalism. my diet doesn’t do shit for what corporations do, my consumption means nothing in terms of how corporations operate. The consumer is not at fault for the capitalist scum, sorry not sorry. 

and i am vegan, because of allergies, but i’m not fuckin acting like i’m over here saving the fucking planet by doing fuck all and just buying different shit that still harms the environment and people of the world lmao. like? shut up.

anonymous asked:

Dad, what are your thoughts on awkward sugar daddy Yuuri " I-didn't-mean-to-do-this-I-just-wanted-to-give-him-socks-and-play-with-his-hair" Katsuki and smitten sugar baby Victor "I'm -not-even-in-it-for-the-money-he-treats-me-right-loves-poodles-and-needs-to-be-protected" Nikiforov?

do you mean what are my thoughts on HEIR TO THE KATSUKI HOTEL FORTUNE yuuri katsuki, who is so bad at hitting on victor nikiforov that victor nikiforov thinks that he has to sell his body for a sponsorship??? 

yuuri keeps taking him out for dinner and travels all over the world to see him in competition and is always so surprised when victor takes time out of his crazy schedule to be with him!! yuuri doesn’t mind sliding his limitless credit card over a handful of boutique counters in several different countries after taking victor out shopping, because victor loves fashion, and yuuri loves victor and the things victor loves.  yuuri maybe thinks that he and victor are dating eventually, because these are dates, right?? victor could always say NO, but he never says no, and maybe it’s because for once in yuuri katsuki’s dumb awful lonely rich kid life, someone likes him back. and it’s not like the only reason that victor is doing these things is because Katsuki Hotels is a global chain and one of the biggest ISU sponsors that keeps a roof over victor’s head.  yuuri stays out of those negotiations and lets his father do the talking while he awkwardly stands next to the ficus in ballroom banquets drinking champagne.  he doesn’t even know why victor talks to him! 

(and victor would be doing these things anyway, because he loves yuuri despite himself, and even if yuuri doesn’t really see victor as a person, he’s good at pretending in the moment long enough for victor not to feel used up and torn apart every time until after when he wakes up alone in a Katsuki Hotel presidential suite.)

4

#i dont see this talked about enough #the look of pain on magnus’ face after he has to send somebody he cares about to the clave #he’s lost so much in this world and you can see how much this pains him to give somebody up #he had to give up camille the woman who saved his life and who he thought he was in love with #then he had to give up iris #one of his kind #and iris said something about warlocks being a dying breed right? #and he just turned one over to the clave to protect his friends #just imagine how bad that must make him feel #he’s watching his people slowly die out and being murdered by valentine and he still turns her over because its the right thing to do #and because they both hurt people he cares about and he wont ever let anybody hurt them #even if it means hurting himself #and nobody else seems to notice how hard these things are for him #except maybe alec #who takes the time to ask him how he feels about camille #and the way he looks so worried about him after he sends iris to the clave #i just #i have so many feelings about my son #he deserves all the good things in the world #somebody hug him #alec hug your boyfriend

I mean Salvador Sobral

THIS woke boy speaks over 4 languages fluently making it easy for Italian and Spanish press has a degree in psychology, uses his short exposure time to speak about Refugees, has an angelic voice, is all about simplicity, gives 0 shit about judgmental society and is just absolutely fucking adorable… if he doesn’t represent Eurovision I don’t know what does. Europe do ur fucking job and make him win. that’s with the fact that his equally amazing sister wrote a meaningful beautiful song that deserves all the attention in the world❤️

Are You Sure About That?

Fandom: Criminal Minds

Relationship: Spencer Reid x Reader

Summary: Spencer Reid is your best friend in the entire world. Best friends totally spend every weekend together, and walk around holding hands, and cuddling on their movie night, right? 

Note: Just an idea I had one night. Hope you enjoy. 

Keep reading

okay so this fandom is complaining about so many things in acowar that were clearly laid out to be plot points in the next books?? like acowar concludes feysand’s arc, for the moment….no one else’s….so…i am sorry that your ships didn’t get the attention you wanted or elucien didn’t get any closure or whatever but…i think we all know by now that maas takes her relationships slowly and…all of these issues will be worked out later on………and everyone complaining that lucien left for most of the book…..i am sorry ik he’s everyone’s fav but….the series is not over…and i doubt maas would have brought in vassa + the firebird thing just to ever discuss it again. So we will definitely be finding out more of what lucien was doing in acowar! 

I mean…I personally enjoyed reading Feyre’s pov for the entire thing and…liked that it focused on concluding her arc as a survivor of abuse turned high lady turned savior of the world. 

idk. really not feeling the negativity from the fandom atm. there are legitimate complaints but then there are just….things that people are complaining about that maas is clearly going to address later on.