So today we found out that Dirk Gently season two’s unofficial name is ‘The Middle of Everywhere’ and that (according to the show bible) it could potentially centre around a portal to another dimension.
But I’m actual trash so my immediate thought was less “jolly smuggling jaunt” and more “please can we have the mystery squad & co. meeting their alternate universe selves”.
I’m thinking Blackwing!Dirk and FBI!Farah joining forces with rockstar siblings Todd and Amanda, whose band (Mexican Funeral? I Hate Voicemail?) made it big time and who have spent the past year touring the world to sold-out stadiums before coming back to Seattle to rest and recuperate.
And I mainly want this because of the comparison between the canon!Brotzmans who have no money and a shitty relationship with each other currently, but who both now have a purpose and a support network, and the au!Brotzmans who are financially stable and doing what they love, but they’ve got no-one except each other and they know it’s co-dependent but what can they really do when they’re living in a virtual goldfish bowl created by their own fame? Both sets of siblings have Pararibulitis still, but au!Brotzmans can afford medication while canon!Brotzmans have psychic vampires and accompanying visions of the future. At some point all four of them have a jam session with two angry drummer girls and two frustrated guitarists and they sound amazing, au!Brotzmans are this close to recording it for when they get back to their dimension.
And then you’d have the canon!mystery squad trying to get a handle on a heavily armed and properly trained au!Dirk who has a very good understanding of his intuitions but very little understanding of anything outside of the CIA compound where he’s kept in between missions, and au!Farah who has all of the anxiety and perfectionist tendencies of canon!Farah but who just learned how to play the system and give the right answers when tested.
Essentially I just want them all to team up and break the psychic murder children out of Blackwing, just so canon!Dirk can hear someone at the door to rescue him but it turns out to be au!Dirk in full CIA tactical gear and they both have .5 seconds of what the fuck has happened now while Mmm Whatcha Say plays faintly in the background.