and i can't even tell

Picked up a new purse today at Fanime with a much more … suitable color and size, shall we say, for my purposes. Most of these I’ve already had or I’d already shown in previous loot pics; the only new one in the picture is the one with Leon, Judas, and Chaltier. Didn’t buy much in terms of official loot or figures since it was kind of hard to be wowed by any of the figures in the Dealer’s Hall when the figure pair of your dreams just got unveiled the day before (even if it was without paint lol). I did finally pick up the Official World Guidance for Zestiria (in addition to the Tales of Series Animation Historia), although my Japanese is far from good enough to understand it all, I can at least appreciate the pretty reference pictures and use them as needed.

I was also happy to see more people cosplaying Zestiria, as I saw 4 or 5 Mikleos wandering around the con so that was a nice contrast to last year, when the only Zestiria cosplayers I saw was @orchids-skyflame and her friends.

I was also really happy to see a few people from Tumblr at Artist’s Alley! I was going through there looking for people who had Tales or SoreMiku fanart up for display, so shout out to @say0ran-arts @ancorae @rythe @mitikokite and @auraspirality ! I loved getting the chance to chat with you at your booth and I look forward to seeing more of your artwork in the future!

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pretty sure that’s a fire hazard, Jesse.

happy valentine’s day!! <3 <3

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Whether you come back by page or by the big screen, Hogwarts will always be there to welcome you home.

an innocent boy deceived by a man promising him a chance to be something more, who swam for his life with death looming so close he could taste it, feel its hooks still clasped around his burning throat, homeless and deprived of family….received by the cold streets of the barrel, a place where he developed a lock pick mind, a scheming face, a new family, and a taste for revenge. sounds a lot like kaz, but I mean wylan

ok so me and @bakkoush-naesheim discussed this for like three hours today, and we have a theory on the mikael and even situation. it might be reaching, but, well, this is skam, so let us reach haha.

it was mikael who kissed even. 

so, mikael liked even. maybe even actually liked mikael back a little too, but he was with sonja. so, when mikael kissed him, even pulled away. and that’s when mikael starts to freak out. even tells him it’s okay, and he promises not to tell anyone, and that there’s nothing wrong with liking boys. but that panics mikael more. and so mikael says something along the lines of, “of course you’re not telling anyone, there’s nothing to tell.” and the more even tries to calm mikael down, the more mikael gets freaked out. and he tells even something about islam and homosexuality, and how the quran says it’s a sin, and generally, just…mikael is freaked out. which gives even the idea to start reading the quran, to help his friend out, to help mikael come to terms with his sexuality. and when he tells mikael what he’s doing, maybe mikael freaks out more, and says something along the lines of “you said you’d drop it, nothing happened, just leave it.” 

so mikael begins distancing himself from even because he’s scared because even isn’t dropping the subject. mikael, freaked out about people finding out and even telling everyone, becomes paranoid and decides to get in there first. and he tells the balloon squad that even tried to kiss him. even, at this point,  was probably getting closer to a manic episode, so his behaviour would have been a little…off. so the balloon squad believe mikael, and maybe mikael even exaggerated a little bit and said things like, “he’s obsessed with me, he kissed me and won’t leave me alone” etc. and thus the entire squad begin to distance themselves from even. even maybe comes up to mikael a couple of times and asks to talk, and again, this just comes off as even being “obsessed” with mikael. and it’s all one big understanding.

with all this going on, even is still researching the quran; he’s manic, so his impulse control, reasoning and judgement are all a little impaired right now. he begins to post any passage that is to do with homosexuality from the quran. not necessarily negative, just anything that mentions it. yousef, at this point, is maybe already questioning his faith, and so he only picks up on the more “negative” passages that even’s posting; the stuff that says homosexuals will go to hell, etc. this “obsession”, of course, given what the balloon squad have been told (even tried to kiss mikael), can easily be interpreted as even trying to “cure” himself with the quran/islam.

amongst all this, obviously, mikael feels awful. but he’s in too deep now. he can’t tell the boys the truth, because he’s still scared, and now there’s the added guilt of how all this is effecting even. so he stays quiet, and gradually, the balloon squad all lose contact with even completely. 

even trying to kill himself wasn’t a result of him thinking homosexuality is a sin. it’s very likely he crashed after his manic episode (depressive episodes aren’t always triggered by life events in bipolar disorder (although they can be); it is sometimes simply the neural chemistry trying to overcompensate for an increase in 5ht that’s seen in a manic episode, so the body decreases 5ht to compensate, but this results in abnormally low levels which=depression). even was very lonely at this point, he was depressed, and that led to his suicide attempt. but for yousef, and for the other boys, i mean, the story writes itself:  even tried to kiss mikael which must mean he’s gay, mikael freaked out bc he’s religious, now even is reading the quran so he must be trying to cure himself. even never corrected anyone on this, because correcting them would mean breaking the promise he made to mikael; the promise that he wouldn’t tell anyone what really happened.

the thing is, this theory explains a lot. it explains:

  • why mikael would still have even’s number (because if he truly was freaked out that even had kissed him, he probably would’ve deleted his number to get rid of all contact with him)
  • why mikael laughed nervously at the mention of even in the sms roulette video, and why he was so quick to shut mutasim down about it - he probably feels incredibly guilty now, hence why he said, “it’s not important”; he doesn’t want to lie anymore, but also isn’t ready to talk about it
  • why even is so terrified. on the one hand, this could be bc yousef’s version of what happened is the truth. obviously that version would still scare even. but on the other hand, it’s one thing being afraid of someone finding out the truth, but it’s so much more terrifying for someone to hear a lie, or a rumour, and for them to believe it. you can’t control what someone lies about. and even can’t necessarily deny what happened, because again, this would lead to mikael getting exposed.
  • why even told sonja about isak immediately. on the one hand, even is a Good Bean™ and probably wanted to let sonja know out of respect to her. but also, he didn’t wait for rumours to spread about him and isak. he wanted to tell her himself this time.
      • on a related note, it could’ve also explained the distance in their relationship. maybe he didn’t tell sonja the truth, out of respect to mikael, and sonja knew she wasn’t getting the whole truth, even if she heard even had kissed mikael. this drove a wedge between their relationship, leading to her not trusting him completely, because she knew she wasn’t getting the whole truth. this is another reason why even told her about isak right away.
  • why even is avoiding talking about the topic. again, he could be scared. that could be the answer. but it also could be because he doesn’t want to lie, but he also doesn’t want to break his promise to mikael.
  • it fits with the theme of the show!!! misunderstandings. mikael isn’t homophobic. he did a shitty thing, regardless of whether our theory is true, or if yousef’s version of events turn out to be true. but imagine this version: he lied, then…all this happened. of course the right thing to do would be to come clean, but imagine how terrifying that would be. it would not only mean he had to come out before he was ready, but it also would mean admitting he ostracised a friend, lied about him, etc. he probably feels incredibly ashamed and guilty, even though he’s in a better place in his life right now, he just wants to forget the whole thing happened.

so to conclude, the situation is misunderstanding after misunderstanding. which fits with the theme of this season. and with the theory that not everything is as it seems (sana assumed yousef is muslim; magnus and vilde appear to be in love but aren’t really).

whose to say yousef isn’t wrong when he says it was even who kissed mikael?

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did some facial ref practice with the vento aureo gang also @ davidpro part 5 when????

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17 MAY 1991 -  happy birthday Misha Ge! (x)

Messy study thing with Mobu because I hate studies but I love Mobu…///