and i bought a new hat

anonymous asked:

Taako: *notices a circumstance or situation he’s unsure of* real or not real? Lup: real

It’s like a game except for all the ways it’s not. 

“Real or not real?” Taako will say. “That time I got slapped for stealing some gold from the lockbox, when we were traveling with the assholes with the carts, whats their names?”  

“Not real,” Lup will say. “That was the Martins. I distracted ‘em while you stole the loot. We bought new shoes and you got the weirdest hat.” 

“Fuck you!” Taako will say. “That hat was great. It was flipping fantastic.” 

She’s kind enough not to poke at the holes in his memory, the places where fact gets mixed up with fiction, the way he’ll allude to things that never happened. It’s his whole life that’s wrong. He knows that. He remembers parallel tracks. He’s different now, he knows. 

“Real or not real? I like black coffee.” 

“Not real. Maybe you acquired the taste? I always stole sugar packets and creamer, while you grabbed the coffee and booked it.” 

“Real or not real? I got kicked out of school, twice.” 

“Real. I got kicked out of school in solidarity, babe.” 

“Real or not real? The first thing I remember is waking up, and no one was there.” 

“Not real. We shared a bed when we were kids.” 

“Oh.” 

[TRANS] NONNO MAGAZINE

1. ways that you spend your days off

JIMIN: hobbies that I do are billiards, bowling and playing computer games all together at a house with friends. when we play, it’s different who wins, but it’s certain that I do the worst no matter what

SUGA: when it’s vacation time, I try to do things that people say are ordinary (to do). It’s important to me to go to a cafe alone or meet up with friends or just a casual every day routine. because it’s a vacation, I think it’s important to spend it relaxing, rather than planning to do something special

V: I listen to several types of music, regardless of genre… classic, jazz, opera, R&B, hip hop, EDM. right now my favourite is especially Hisaishi Joe’s ‘Summer’. dadadadan~(starts to sing) I want to listen to piano performance live one day

JIN: because Jungkook said that he’s going to learn the drums in his free time on the world tour, I started to play guitar too. but since he can’t carry the drum set around with him on tour, in the end it was just me who kept practicing from bringing the guitar (laughs) I play our songs like spring day and butterfly. one day I want to show it on stage

JHOPE: recently, my hobby is collecting figurines. nowadays, things that i’ve been collecting is called “deck of skate boards”. since there are a lot of colourful designs, it’s nice just looking that them. sadly there’s no way to ride them outside

RM: the thing that I’m consumes with right now is learning Japanese. I’m watching the drama “late night restaurants” as it’s easy to understand the dialogue. getting in touch with nature is one thing that is a way of changing the mood. I go for  a walk in a park that’s close by or if i have time I go far until I reach the sea.

JK: recently, I enjoy playing FPS games. I spend about 3~4 hours every day playing so time flies in that moment (laughs) and I always listen to music. I listen to exciting music like future bass but more than that I like melodies that make my mind become calm and the and the quietness of the quite sad atmosphere.

2. favourite fashion and things in fashion you always uphold

JIMIN: once I find a fashion that I think is good, I’ll buy clothes similar to that for several months. right now I like simple fashion, such as shirts with slacks and white shirts and denim (jeans?). since I haven’t decided what fashion to do this summer…. I think I should shop and and think carefully because once I start to buy things, I tend to buy a lot of it (laughs)

SUGA: rather than having a lot of different types of clothing, I rather have an attachment to things I like and use them for a long time. I think that after debut, I’ve worn thousands of clothing that are expensive that are my preference. since I want to be a person hat looks special even just wearing ordinary things, I choose to wear simple clothes. other than that, because I don’t like to show my skin, I wear long sleeves in the summer too

V: the item I wear most often is shirts. I have several shirts that go from simple to unusual print designs. I like the Boston bag too that I bought from New York in spring. I will use it carefully!

JIN: I like neat and simple fashion. when I go to places where a lot of people see me, I try to wear as many things that I received as gifts as possible. because I think if i were them, i’d feel really happy to see precious person wearing something that I gave to them

JHOPE: I try to do styles that express me well, that are not too easy going, and not too loud either. I plan to deliver a fashion that looks cool this summer. but I haven’t been shopping since I purchased a street brand fur jacket last winter…

RM: I pick clothes that are a good style whilst having a comfortable feeling. I didn’t have confidence in my style since I didnt dress well skinny but after debuting everyone told me that my legs are pretty and long, so I challenged it. the person out of the members that dresses well, if it’s not me (laughs), is JHOPE. he’s good at matching items.

JK: I like big shapes (silhouette) like parkas, and I like the colour black. I wear similar clothes in the summer too. the genre is different but I think that RM and JHOPE dress cool

3. favourite scents?

JIMIN: the scent of flowers and meat is cooking. because I like the smell of nature more, I don’t really wear perfumes well. I currently use the scent of a diffuser that’s refreshing. but J-HOPE who is my roommate, prefers scents like this more than me

SUGA: I like perfumes that have a sweet smell but I don’t use just one kind of perfume since I only wear it occasionally, depending on the mood of that day. I like to drink coffee, when I smell the scent of it my mind becomes relaxed. coffee is like a substitute for water to me.

V: in many cases I select a refreshing scent or a scent that I relax to. I use several types to match the mood or fashion

JIN: I use sweet perfumes that linger softly. if I were to give an example, the soft feeling is like the texture of candy floss. but the smell isn’t candy floss itself (laughs)

JHOPE: since i’m very sensitive to smells, it’s only natural that I spray perfume. before I got to bed, I use a diffuser all the time that’s in our room with the sweet smell of body lotion. from our vacation in hawaii in april, i bought kona coffee powder but i tried using it as quadrant substitute

RM: smell of natural fabric softener. and I spoke with jungkook, and the smell of Japan buildings (laughs) especially the airport. when we got here we all said together “we’ve arrived in Japan!”

JK: the smell of green or the wind when spring arrives. one day in spring, I listened to music and rode a bike down the river together with RM and V, so when the distinctive air of spring arrives I feel happy and excited because of that day

4. Japanese movies, dramas, manga etc that have stuck in your memory?

JIMIN: I have seen almost all well-known manga and anime. recently I bought the novel “between calmness and passion” at the bookstore. I look forward to reading it!

SUGA: The best manga throughout my life is slam dunk! I must’ve read it over a hundred times since I read my favourite ones repeatedly. when I was young, most of the things that I watched were Japanese anime

V: recently I’ve watched all of 'we married as a job’! I like the scene where the protagonist gives a hug to the other guy who she has a marriage contract with, on every Tuesday. I remember seeing the male actor in somewhere else, I was surprised to find out that he was Hoshino Gen, an artist that I listen to often on a average day. I love the song 'every day life’ the most. I’m also practicing the love dance from the ending of the drama

JIN: I like Japanese anime’s a lot so when I was a trainee I watched one piece or bleach every week. recently I’ve been obsessed with the manga about high school volleyball called haikyuu, so I read that often

JHOPE: I really like Otsaku Ai’s 'Sakuranbo’. I listen to YUI’s song often too.

RM: I listen yo AK-69 or KOHH, Sakamoto Ryuichi, Yuhki Kuramoto’s music. I like movies that are directed by Hirokazu Koreeda. I became captivated by his calm outlook on the world that he films. If his movies screen in korea, I will certainly go.

JK: I like Japanese anime’s, I’m currently watching the same one as Jin too, haikyuu. and it’s helping me learn Japanese too!

jpn - krn; @row_baba | krn - eng; @hobuing

I was at the Walmart in my po-dunk Tennessee town, and I just happened to stumble across this:

And I was like, hey, cool, cause ya know, Sherlock.  Then I flip it over and

this beautiful bastard.  So, yeah I spent US $13.99 and bought it (I would have spent $20 tbh)  But I didn’t crack it open until I got home and

March 8.  Hmmm, I thought.  Let me get my tin foil hat out.  

20/20= 40?  maybe I’m reaching…But then

Um 27?  These numbers seem unnecessary to these sentences or am I

seeing things things that aren’t there…  [pictured above: ACD posing for “spirit photography” in 1922]  

Then an article about ACD and his unlikely friendship with Houdini.  They met when Doyle read his book, then went and saw him perform in New York where he made an ELEPHANT disappear, and ESCAPED FROM CHAINS UNDERWATER.

*cough cough* Mark and Darren Brown *cough cough*

So anyway, I may just have a blue car and then am seeing blue cars everywhere, or this magazine (which the earliest date I can see where it hit the stands was feb 8, 2017).  New key? BONUS:

meta meta meta meta meta canon that ACD was King of All Meta.  This magazine has condensed so much SH fun facts (a whole  big piece about about ACD killing off SH) and it makes me happy to have more info I can obsess about.

I’ll tag some tjlc blogs that I fangirl over:

@tjlcisthenewsexy@the-7-percent-solution@teaandqueerbaiting@jenna221b

doodleboots  asked:

You said your house was haunted by "parakeets and Amish Satan" EXPLAIN

…I don’t remember posting about that on here omfg how deep in my personal tag are you? 😂 Those are two different stories so this is probably gonna be long.

Alright, so I was always that freaky little ‘I see dead people’ shithead when I was a kid. You know, that asshole kid that gives detailed descriptions of relatives that died before they were born and says they see them on the ceiling or some shit? That was me. Important to the stories. I’ll start with the parakeets.

Okay, so when I was like…Maybe 5 or 6, I really wanted to get a pet. We had a dog, but I was not the dog’s favorite person, and I was in that whole ‘I wanna prove I’m responsible’ stage of childhood, so I ambushed my parents with the pet question when we were out to dinner. (Which was a strategic move, as I knew all the waiters at the restaurant liked me and would maybe throw in a pity “Aww, get the girl a pet” comment as a guilt trip if they over heard the conversation. It totally worked lmao)

So, after a long debate about animals, my parents decided to get me parakeets. Which, I had not been aiming for (I wanted something cuddly, and I like birds in theory, not in practice) but I was not in a position for arguing when I was about to get a pet, so I agreed and we headed off to PetSmart and got two birds.

Now, over the course of my childhood, I only had three birds- Blueberry, Banana, and Snowcap. You can probably figure out what they looked like, I was not the most creative child. So, in our old house, which was, frankly, a better house, they had a great life! We kept them in the living room, right next to the huge glass doors that lead to the backyard so they got a lot of sunlight and fresh air, we were great about cleaning up their feathers, they didn’t feel attention starved so they weren’t too loud or annoying. It was great.

Then we moved to our current house, and that’s where it starts getting complicated.

See, my mom and I were both on a depression battle, and if you know anything about that, it made it very hard for us to do things. Energy wasn’t there. So while we were obviously still feeding the birds and everything, we definitely let the cage get messy and stopped cleaning up feathers. We had them on the bay window in my living room, so it looked like a mess, which really pissed my Aunt Gail off. Gail was a psycho bitch, for reference, but she had moved in with us to help pay bills and insisted the birds were taken out of the living room, which I wasn’t really down with, but I also wasn’t down with her locking me in a closet, so I listened to her. So Blueberry and Snowcap got banished to the computer room, where there was very little light, always loud music playing, and barely any attention for them. I remember they’d get so loud and we’d just throw a sheet over the cage or turn the lights off or yell for them to shut up. As it stands now, I realize we definitely ended up mistreating the birds, and I feel incredibly guilty about that, but as a little kid with very little patience and a fear of birds, who was mostly following her mother and aunt’s actions, I didn’t understand. I got pretty detached from them because of where I was mentally, and I remember when they both died (separately- Blueberry held on for a while, so she was sadly alone for a while), I like, forced all emotion about it away and just didn’t focus on it. Do you know what I mean? I was pretending like I wasn’t effected, like it was a non-issue, and like tbh I didn’t even let myself focus on how effed up that is until a couple years ago. But that was just the headspace I was in.

Okay, so anyway, birds: I always hear them outside my window during the day, chirping up a storm, but at night? It’s usually dead silent, with the occasional hoot from an owl who’s literally only there to make me think about the movie “The Fourth Kind” in the middle of the night. Fuck that owl, I don’t want to think about that movie.

Sometimes, though, when I’m having an Insomniac Episode ™ , I’ll be in the computer room (there’s no wifi in my house, we’re still in the 90′s) late at night, messing around, and for a short amount of time I’ll hear birds, like, screeching. And I never really thought much about it, because like, nature can do whatever it wants, but it started getting a little odd. Like, I’d leave the computer room to go downstairs for a bit, and I’d hear absolutely nothing. Dead silence, even though the kitchen is directly below it and thus has the same trees, or even if I leave the door open, it’s just quiet. But the second I step off the step and into the room, it starts back up. Weird, right? I started feeling really eerie about it, and started purposefully leaving the computer room whenever it started up.

And then, that lead me to noticing when it started up…It was always at 3:00am to 4:00 am. Which is, you know, The Witching Hour. The Ghost Hour. The Demon Hour. Plenty of names, but all the same concept. Any self-respecting paranormal fucker knows that things get weird at 3:00 am. The veil’s a little thinner then.

And that in itself freaked me out, but I always feel pretty freaked out at that time anyway, because as mentioned, I’m That Asshole Kid who hears disembodied voices and sees things out of the corner of my eye and always feels like something is right behind me. That’s only gotten better and worse with age in different ways- but anyway, while the bird stuff was freaking me out, I had yet to put together what it was, because frankly I’m just a wimp and I thought it was overall anxiety making me hear things.

So then, a little under a year ago, I’m watching some show about the paranormal and animals, and some dude is recounting a story about a ghost cat or something, and I remember being like…what the fuck, animals can be ghosts? What? Because that’s not something that ever occurred to me before, and not something I had heard of. And the guy went on to say something like if the animals were mistreated in life, they have as much chance to come back as a person-ghost who died tragically or something. And I just like, had a flash, of realizing how we had definitely mistreated the birds, and how I only hear screaming birds in their room, at 3:00 am, and it was just sort of an “everything clicked together moment”, and I was like, shit. I’m being haunted by my old pet parakeets.

I still hear them all the time, but I mean, I’m not turning out lights or telling them to shut up anymore, because honestly? They definitely have a reason to complain and make their voices heard over that. Like, if they need to let out frustration from beyond the grave, they definitely have my attention.

Okay, on to Amish Satan.

So in…Fifth grade, my class took a field trip to Lancaster, to tour some old coal mines and see some donkeys and stuff. It was nothing special, honestly, but it was a fun trip. So anyway, they had a little gift shop the let us go into because what’s a field trip without souvenirs? And they were mostly selling coal related stuff- I’ve got a little statue of a mouse made out of coal on my nightstand that I got there. But they were also selling these little Amish dolls, right? So as a young girl with a great love for dolls (I used to have a huge collection of all kinds), obviously I had to get one.

So I picked out a guy doll because I loved the shade of blue they used for his shirt, he had little black suspenders and a black hat, it was cute. Paid the store owner, got on the bus with my new little friend to head home.

(Completely unrelated to the story, but back then I was anime trash and decided to name this poor thing Kiyo after the main character from Zatch Bell lmao)

So anyway, on the bus home, I started getting slightly…unsettled by the fact he didn’t have a face. Like, it didn’t bother me when I bought him, but now it was starting to really freak me out. I kept asking the teachers why Amish dolls didn’t have faces, but no one had answers for me, which was frustrating, because I thought if I could understand the reasoning, it wouldn’t freak me out as much.

I was starting to regret buying it, but when we got back to school, my friend Rachel whipped out a sharpie and said “It’s yours anyway, just give him a face yourself!” which sounded like a relatively good idea. I drew the least intimidating face I could- two simple big eyes, point for a nose, big goofy smile with his tongue sticking out. It’s cute and dumb. Seriously, I still have the doll, you don’t look at this thing and think “Satan” at all.

So, me and my friends played with this doll all the time. We’d use to make him do tricks and flip him around and stuff- I remember one year we accidentally got him stuck on the Christmas tree and left him up there with all the decorations because we thought it was the funniest thing ever. This was like our go-to doll. We loved the thing. And sure, I’d have a weird experience every now and then, but I had absolutely no reason to think it was connected to the doll, because the things weren’t that out-of-ordinary for me.

So, in sixth grade, I had to start going to this free children’s hospital in the city called Shriners, and there were always a lot of Amish people there, because it was free and they have higher risks for birth defects and problems. And I was a super shy child, but at the same time I didn’t want to sit quietly in a waiting room for a millions years, so I’d usually quietly bond with a kid over some of the toys the waiting room had out, or if I was just reading I’d still make a point to smile politely at everyone I made eye contact with. The adults always seemed suspicious of me, but I figured it was just a whole ‘Amish vs The English’ thing, or because my health problems were a lot less physically obvious than their children’s and they were upset about that. It made me feel uncomfortable, but it was nothing serious.

Except one day, I was making small talk with one family and the little girl had a doll out, and I just said something like “Oh I have one of those dolls! It has a face on it though.” And her mother got all wide eyed and dragged her kids to the other side of the room while talking in their language (I don’t know the name of it) and I was just like???? Oh shit what did I do??? Like it was strange omg.

So anyway, time goes on. I get older, I stop playing with dolls, and actually end up selling or trashing most of them. I kept the Amish doll around though, but it wasn’t like me and my friends were playing with him every day anymore. He was just there. Something inside of me couldn’t bear to get rid of him, but I wasn’t doing anything with him either.

And after a while, it started to feel weird. Like…uncomfortable. Sort of a ‘why don’t you play with me anymore’ vibe, which sounded so stupid, because I was in high school at this point, I could not justify thinking an old toy was sad. This isn’t fucking Toy Story, you know? (Incidentally, while I love the Toy Story films, they’re also lowkey my worst nightmares).

I remember edging around him. Like, he still has the same dumb, cutesy face drawn on, but something was making me uncomfortable to be around him. I felt watched and guilty and nervous. At some point he ended up on the staircase leading to my computer room, just laying there for a couple years. Neither me or my mom ever bothered to touch him.

Okay, so then I go away for my only semester of college, and one day I was in the group chat with my friends and we were talking about creepy things that have happened to us. And I brought up this doll, and they were kinda interested and I remember saying “Watch me come home for break and he’s not gonna be wear I left him” as a joke.

I get home from break…Guess who’s not fucking on the steps like he’d been for the past 3 years?

I was cracking up, I remember texting my friend Zoe who started freaking out, but I was like “Okay, creepy coincidence, but obviously my mom must’ve just moved him or thrown him out”.

…Except my mom had no idea what I was talking about. She had no memory of this doll, let alone walking past it all the time for three years while it sat on the steps. She swore she didn’t move it.

So I was like…okay,

So then I’m back home officially and I still can’t find it. I searched everywhere- not even because I wanted the doll, just because not knowing where it was was making me feel even more nervous and anxious than having to tip-toe around it. I had random scary thoughts pop up in my head of it appearing in my room suddenly, or moving on it’s own. I was really freaking myself out- being paranoid is what I’m best at.

Okay, at some point down the line, one day I’m on my couch just flicking through channels, and I come across a marathon of a show called “Amish Haunting” (Honestly, check it out if you like ghost shows, it’s pretty cool). The episode that happens to be playing is feature a segment called “The Faceless Doll” and the paranormal experience that family had when an English neighbor gave their young daughter a doll with a face. Shit got fucked up for this family. Real shit guys.

They explained within the episode that the reason for faceless dolls is because the Amish believe that fake faces- like on dolls, in photographs, what have you- are an invitation for the Devil into your home. They believe he can use the fake eyes to see into your life and watch you and grow stronger and mess you up, basically. So, when 10 year old Molly drew that face on, not only was she accidentally disrespecting the Amish’s beliefs, she was basically unwittingly inviting Satan into her house, and then using him as a best play mate with her two other Catholic School Girl friends. Iconic.

I have since found the doll- mind you, in a place where he literally never should have been- but things seem…Calmer? I do occasionally feel a little watched, but honestly I feel like now that I’m aware my doll is potentially housing Satan, we’re on better terms? Allegedly a couple of my friends have had weird experiences after insulting him, but I wasn’t around so I can’t confirm or deny. Like, I definitely still get creeped out by him, but not as much, and I don’t feel a weird sad aura around the doll anymore.

So, now I’m just kinda hoping we stay on these chill mutual grounds and I don’t, like, get possessed or anything. But yeah, that’s the story of Amish Satan, you just gotta be a little respectful with him.

Okay so I’m researching for my dissertation and I’ve come across a historical event that (probably shouldn’t be, but is) absolutely hilarious to me. 

So in America in 1849 there was a lot of socio-economic tension between the classes, and this included a tension in the kind of theatre that audiences wanted to consume. As settlers had come over from England, a lot of theatre at the time was being sent over from England, rather than being produced in America, so you had a lot of British touring companies doing their Shakespeare thing around the country. 

The Americans didn’t like this. 

Tension built up between the Anglophile middle classes in America and the working classes who wanted to break away from their British past, and this all came to a (unbelievably bloody) head when a British actor called William Charles Macready and a working class American actor called Edwin Forrest got into a huge, nineteenth century flame war over whether British or American actors were better. Obviously the upper and middle class Americans sided with Macready, and the working class Yanks sided with Forrest. 

This was the original fandom war, guys. 

The nineteenth century folks went really hard when it came to loyalty to their fave actors (there weren’t a lot of acting “stars” back then because beforehand it had been seen as basically a form of prostitution and was only just starting to break away from that stereotype). You wanna know what these super fans did? They started a riot. Forrest’s supporters bought a bunch of tickets to a performance of Macbeth that Macready was acting in at the Astor Palace Theatre in New York, and they egged him while he was on stage. Apparently up to 10,000 people were waiting in the streets outside, and the police and army had to be called in because they were all beating the shit out of each other with their top hats and show bills or whatever. 

TWENTY FIVE PEOPLE DIED (INCLUDING A CHILD) AND HUNDREDS WERE INJURED BECAUSE THEY WERE ARGUING OVER WHO CAN PERFORM SHAKESPEARE BETTER I AM DONE. 

Gotta love when everything you have on is bought from fags. Nike shoes (for you fags to clean) , new Northface jacket i got today, new jeans i didnt pay for, Calvin Kleins, Dom watch, and oakley hat haha. This is the type of shit that makes me happy. Keep it coming fags! Haha

May 2017 - a quick recap:

Niall:
* shared not one but TWO fantastic new songs,
* introduced his new band,
* and played a beautiful new arrangement of This Town with them,
* as well as a great cover of Scared To Be Lonely,
* smashed his performances on three of the biggest TV shows in the US,
* and three big radio concerts,
* as well as countless acoustic radio sets and interviews,
* in 10 cities across the US,
* and sounded just as good singing live as in the studio versions of his songs in every single one of his performances,
* shared a lyric video which was everything I ever hoped for and more of behind the scenes studio and rehearsal and touring footage,
* impressed radio hosts and music commentators everywhere by being incredibly talented and genuinely down to earth,
* and was unfailingly generous in his support of other artists and his 1D bandmates in his interviews,
* scored a Billboard cover story,
* and produced a smoking hot photo shoot to go with it,
* and opened up about his friendship with his ultimate music idol Don Henley,
* experimented (/occasionally struggled) with a new Instagram aesthetic (but mostly pulled it off),
* shared a steady stream of photos, videos & updates via Instagram, Twitter & Snapchat,
* and did a Twitter Q&A on Slow Hands release day,
* brought back WWGTM,
* bought a new hat in Nashville,
* managed to squeeze in a few rounds of golf,
* and a few pints of Guinness,
* and a handful of days off to explore the cities he visited for promo,
* and survived one savage hangover,
* but basically spent the entire month working his arse off,
* (not literally though, his arse is looking fantastic 🍑😉)
* setting Slow Hands up to be the summer smash hit we always knew he had in him.

And best of all: he did almost all of this on his own terms. Over the entire month I think he was papped only once, leaving a club in LA, and a couple of creep shots were spread around, but for the most part what we saw of Niall was what he chose to share. Rather than tabloid gossip and faux controversies, his music was the story. As I hope it continues to be, for as long as he wants to keep making music.

Tyler Seguin Imagine - Barstool

Watch this episode of Barstool’s “The Life” before reading. It’ll help you understand the imagine much better :) 

-

I scrambled around my new 7,000 square foot house trying to get rid of any moving boxes, and any signs of actual living. I had bought a new home in Dallas a few months ago, but still wasn’t completely settled. And today, of all days, was my second “The Life” house tour with Barstool Sports, and the infamous Sophie Julia. When she and her cameraman came to my last house, she flirted with me relentlessly throughout the entire tour. I shut her down as much as humanly possible, and I can barely watch the entire episode back without cringing.

After I finished “cleaning” the house, I threw on a t-shirt, black workout shorts, and a camouflage hat, backwards. I groaned as I saw Sophie walk up the driveway, and hid myself in the kitchen so she couldn’t see me as she was on her way to the front door.

“Hey guys! How are you?” I asked with a fake smile as I opened the door.

“Tyler! Long time no see!” Sophia said in her high pitched, valley girl voice as she pulled me in for a hug. “Why didn’t you ever follow me back on Instagram?” She questioned as she pulled away.

Because I have a girlfriend now, and I also don’t really like you. I thought in my head.

“Oh, you follow me? Sorry I didn’t even see it.” I lied.

“Alright, we’ll film our intro outside and then we’ll get started, if that’s alright.” The cameraman said.

“Sure thing. Didn’t catch your name?” I asked, extending my right hand.

“Mike.” He said with a nod.

“Mike. Okay, just come on back in when you’re ready to get started.” I said with a smile.

As soon as the front door shut, I took my phone out of my pocket and called the only girl I wanted in my house.

“Hi babe!” She whispered into the phone.

“Ugh. Hi. Are you still in class?” I asked.

“No, we were having mock court today. I already litigated but some of my classmates are finishing up right now. I’ll be over there soon. Are they there yet?” She asked.

“Yeah, they are filming outside right now. Please get here soon!” I begged.

“Okay babe I’ll be there soon! I promise.”

“I love you.” I smiled into the phone.

“I love you, too.” She whispered, and hung up.

Sophie was going to hate her.

Just like clockwork, when I pressed the red circle on my phone, Sophia and Mike barged back inside.

“So we are just going to ring the doorbell and I’ll start filming, and we’ll go from there.” Mike said, stepping back out onto the brick stoop near the front door.

I nodded and shut the door, not keen on the whole “acting” bit. They rang the doorbell and the camera was rolling, so we went through the whole “hey how are you” thing once more.

“Wow, this place is beautiful! So, when did you move in?” Sophia questioned as she walked through my foyer, peering at the rooms surrounding it.

“About four months ago. Just needed something a little bigger from my last home.” I told her.

“Thinking of getting more dogs?” She asked, running her hand down my arm.

No, I’m thinking of marrying my girlfriend and having kids. Stop touching me. I thought in my head.

“Anymore tattoo’s?” She asked, still grabbing at my arm. Her fake acrylic nails dug into my skin.

“Nope.” I said quickly, swatting her arm away.

“So, over here is my office. I’ve actually been spending some time in this one, working on my brand and what not.” I explained as she looked around at the various photos I had hung on the wall.

“This is nice. Take me to the kitchen, your last one was beautiful.” She said as she walked out of the room.

“Still not doing much cooking for the random girls?” Sophia asked as she stepped into my all white kitchen and opened my fridge.

“I actually cook a ton for a girl these days.” I answered with a smirk.

Wow, for someone who follows my Instagram so closely, you’d think she wouldn’t have missed all the photos I post of Y/N, and I.

 

“Oh yeah? Girlfriend?” She questioned, suddenly very interested in what I had to say.

“Yeah. Almost a year now.” I answered as she rummaged through my pantry.

“There she is,” I said as my smile grew genuine. There Y/N was, waltzing down the back staircase leading into the kitchen. She was wearing a tight, navy blue knee length dress, black heels, and her glasses. Her short brown hair was straightened and just touching her shoulders. She looked like a sexy librarian…. Even though she was a law student.

“Hey, babe!” She said as she walked over to me, kissing me on the cheek. I grabbed her waist and pulled her tightly in close to me, my hand resting on her ass.

“Sneak in the back door?” I asked.

She nodded as her head rested on my chest. “So, you must be Julia.”

“I am. And you are?” Julia asked, kind of defensive.

“This is my girlfriend, Y/N.” I said, trying to step in before things got too petty.

“It’s so nice to finally meet you!” Y/N exclaimed, subtle sarcasm in her tone. “Babe, your brand manager just sent an email that he needs you to approve designs that have to finalized today. You need to call him ASAP. So I can finish the tour.” She said, staring at Julia.

“Oh, shit, yeah I have to go take care of that. Is that cool, guys?” I asked as I began stepping away.

“Sure.” Mike said, as a disappointed look came over Julia’s face.

I quickly rushed out of the room, a large smile growing on my face after I knew I was out of sight. I quickly scrolled through my emails and found nothing from my brand manager.

Well played, babe.

 

Y/N POV:

“So, are you like Tyler’s assistant as well as his girlfriend? I mean, if you’re getting his emails…” Sophie began.

“No.” I cut her off. “I’m about to graduate from law school, so I just take a look at all of the branding stuff and contracts to make sure everything is on the up and up as far as legal stuff goes. I help out with the designs sometimes, too.”

“Oh.” Sophie said, staring down at the floor.

“So, want to see the upstairs?” I offered, borderline feeling bad that I had been so harsh with her.

“Sure.” She said, motioning for Mike to follow us upstairs.

“Alright, this is our bedroom.” I said, walking into the large master bedroom.

“Wait, ‘our’?” She questioned.

“Yes, I’m in the process of moving in. Over here we have the his and hers closets. And no, the ‘hers’ one isn’t filled with sweatpants he lets girls steal from him.” I said coldly.

“What cute dresses you have!” Sophia said as she flipped through the dresses hanging in my closet, trying to redeem herself.

“Mhmm.” I answered, leading her to the other bedrooms upstairs.

We continued through the other rooms of the house that were finished, and finally made our way outside, where Tyler was sitting by the pool with Marshal and Cash.

“How’d you like the upstairs?” Tyler asked as he stood up and walked over to us.

“Beautiful.” Sophie said. “So, any romance rooms out at this pool?”

“Building one right over there.” Tyler said, pointing the structure in the distance that was not quite finished.

He continued to show her around the pool area as I took his spot on the pool chair and sat with the dogs.

“Well, that’s really all there is to it.” I heard him say.

“Cool. Well, thanks for letting us come by. Can we get out this way?” Sophie asked, pointing to the gate.

“Yeah.” Tyler said as he waved goodbye to her and shook Mike’s hand.

“Was I too bitchy?” I asked as Tyler came to sit down next to me, putting his arm around me.

“Definitely not. Had to mark your territory. It was pretty hot, not going to lie.” He said as he trailed kisses up my neck and to my lips.

“Oh yeah?” I whispered, leaning into his kiss.

“Yes.” He said quietly into my neck. “Swim?” He asked, looking up at me.

“It is getting kind of hot in this dress.” I said, standing up and peeling it off.

“You look hot without it.” Tyler said, standing up next to me and pushing me in the pool.

“Hey!” I yelled as I came up from under the water. “I hate you!”

“You love me.” He said with a smile as he took off his shirt.

“Yeah, I do.” I said.

EXO Sees You in a Swimsuit - 1/3

[[ // Masterlist // ]]

contains: fluff / stares / swears / very shy Junmyeon / very forward Jongdae

A/N: I tried to keep this gender-neutral.  Also, I chose these three members at random.  Parts 2 and 3 will soon follow!


// Junmyeon

He had invited you to come to Bali with him for your first summer vacation together!  You’d gone to the mountains to ski a few months back, and this would be his first time Junmyeon would see you with so little on.  He got flustered whenever you didn’t dress modestly, but this was the beach in the middle of August, so what else were you supposed to do?

You two left your hotel fully clothed, hand in hand.  “It’s really warm, isn’t it?“ he said as your feet touched the hot sand.

“It is, I want to get in the water as soon as possible.”

You let go of his hand and ran ahead toward the shore to claim a spot to lay down your beach blanket and put up your umbrella.  When he caught up, you had already taken off your shirt, and you watched him as you took off your shorts.  He continued to avoid looking at you by pretending to fix the blanket, even though it was already flat.

“Junmyeon-ah?”

“…Yes?” he asked, eyes still down.

“It’s okay for you to look at me.  I don’t know why you’re being like this.”

“I just don’t want you to feel objectified…”

“Junmyeon, you’re my boyfriend!  I want you to look at me, and I want to be able to look at you.”

He finally forced himself to look up at your uncovered form and you saw his cheeks burn with embarrassment.  “Waa…”

It was a bit endearing that he felt so shy about this.  He was always careful not to rush things so you wouldn’t feel uncomfortable, but you were more than ready to let him see you like this.  With his eyes finally on you, you knelt down next to him and you watched him unbutton his shirt.

There they were, his legendary abs, that you’d only seen on video and in pictures, only an arm’s length away from your touch.

Junmyeon’s face was even redder when you looked up and realized he’d been watching you stare at him.

“…You can touch,” he whispered.

He remained still as you reached out a hand and ran your fingertips over his skin.  You were so glad he took such good care of himself.

His eyes remained glued to your body as you ran your hand up and down.

“You can touch,” you said, and he reached out for your bare waist.  A seemingly uncontrollable smile appeared on his face.

“Shall we go in the water?” he asked after a long moment had passed.

You nodded and he took your hand to help you up.  You swam and splashed for the rest of the day, glad to have gotten past this milestone with Junmyeon.

Originally posted by tinyjunmyeon


// Jongdae

You two had begun dating in the winter, after the first snow.  It was now summer and therefore swim season.  You’d spent too much of your day trying to choose what you’d wear to the pool with him, not sure if you’d be alone or if any of the other EXO boys would be there.  You went with the more revealing option, but brought the more modest choice just in case.

You waited until sunset and then headed to EXO’s dorm.

“Jagi, you’re here!” he called when you entered the pool area.  Jongdae was sitting alone in the jacuzzi, waving you over.  “You’re not getting in here like that, are you?”

You came over completely clothed, with your swimsuit underneath.

“Of course not.  Where are the other boys?“

“Inside.  I told them to stay there,” he said while raising his eyebrows.

“Uh huh… he’s just asking to be teased…” you thought.

“Why did you want to swim so late?” you asked him.

“So we won’t get sunburned, Jagi.”

“Ah, good thinking,“ you said as you paced about, his eyes following you all the way around the jacuzzi.  “Hope you haven’t been waiting too long for me.“

“Nope, you can get in now.”

“Actually, I think I’ll go inside first, and say hello to Minseok.“

“No, no, get in here!”

You kicked off your shoes and dipped your foot into the water.

“Ooh, it’s quite hot.”

“It won’t feel so hot if you just get in.”  He reached out a hand for you, which you ignored.

“I think I need to take my time,“ you said.

“Ahh, waeee!  Why are you like this?” he asked, more flustered than you’d seen him in a while.

You laughed and finally began to take off what you’d worn over your swimsuit.  “Okay, okay, that’s enough teasing, I think.”

You threw your street clothes aside and he let out a scream that was certainly heard by others.  In fact, you saw several EXO members crowd around an upstairs window and look down at you two.  You waved, but Jongdae pulled you into the jacuzzi and yelled at them to go away.

His hands were stuck to you as soon as you two were alone again.  It was as if he needed a hundred more hands, because he wanted to touch all of you at once.

“He’s so thirsty today…” you thought.

Originally posted by jongdae-explained


// Chanyeol

You needed a new swimsuit because you were going on vacation with your family and you hadn’t bought a new one in years.  Chanyeol had shyly offered to come shopping with you, claiming he needed a few new caps, even though just yesterday he had been complaining that he had more caps than he could handle.

When you arrived at the mall, Chanyeol had lead you straight to the first swimsuits he saw, passing by Hat World, CapTown, and Lids without a second look.

Once in the store, he pulled suggestions off the shelves and threw them into a basket for you.

“Chan, Chan, slow down!”

“I just want you to have a lot of options,” he said, tossing three more swimsuits into the basket.

After you got him to calm down, put back the ones that weren’t your size and the ones you didn’t like, you were left with four choices.

“You wait here, I’ll be out in a second.”

“Okay…”

You closed the door, stripped and put on the first swimsuit.  Not bad, you thought, but maybe not your favorite.

You peeked out of the dressing room.  “Are you ready for the first one?” you asked Chanyeol, who wasn’t on his phone like you thought he would be.  He was extremely attentive.

“I’m ready,” he said after a deep breath.

You stepped out of the dressing room.

“Oh shit!!” he said before covering his mouth.  This made you laugh as you pulled his hands away from his mouth.

“So… you like it?” you asked.

“Yes!!” he said too loudly.

“Shh,” you said, putting his hands back over his mouth.  You reinspected the swimsuit in the three-paneled mirror outside of the dressing room.  Chanyeol hugged you from behind, and now that you looked at it again, maybe you liked this one more than you thought you did.

“You know what?  I think I want this one.”

“Wait, wait, you should try all of them on before you make a decision…”

You rolled your eyes and he let you go back into the dressing room.  “Okay, okay, just for you.”

You ended up buying the first and fourth swimsuits.  When you left the shop, you asked Chanyeol, “So, which one do you want to go to?  Hat World?”

“No, no, let’s go home…”

He dragged you back to the dorm, put on his own swimsuit, and led you out to the pool for a swim.

Originally posted by luedeer

6

Hello everyone ~! Time to debut my new Levy! Sorceress Levy from one of the Fairy Tail video games~ What do you think?


🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃


With me is AdkCosplay as Sucy!


I made:
🎃Earrings, hat accessories, top, skirt, garter ~


Bought stockings, gloves and base hat~

Hey, Jessen (current D&D bab) got a bit revamped since I posted her original design!  She got more sarcastic, recently got respecced as a Witchblade (a homebrew class from my DM), and then GREW UP because she’s tired of never getting answers to the millions of questions in her life.  So here are some new duds she just bought!

Lafayette: Take it off!

*Hercules starts taking off his shirt and unbutton his pants*

Lafayette: What are you doing?

Hercules: You told me to take it off!

Lafayette:*point to Hercules’s hat* I meant your hat I bought you a new one!

Hercules:*disappointed tone* Oh.

I have passed the store hundreds of times over the years and always thought, “I’ve got to go in there one day.” It’s a remnant, a relic, a time capsule in the middle of the block: A hat store. A 1950’s hat store, somehow still alive today when the only kind of hats being worn seem to be baseball caps.
Yesterday I walked by, stopped, and turning to face it, thought what the hell and pushed the door open. Except it didn’t budge — locked. A small yellowing handwritten sign on the side said “ring the bell.” Which made me smile. So I rang a bell the color of an old tooth and waited. And waited. Eventually on the other side of the door glass an old man appeared and smiled at me. He slowly unlocked three locks and opened up.
The smell that immediately wafted out from inside was a strong mix of stale everything, wool, damp, dust, body odor, and many other things that live inside a half century old hat store no one enters anymore except the owner who opens it in the morning and closes it at five. I took two steps in and noticed the contrast between how small the place was and how high the ceilings were. Eight meters? Wooden shelves everywhere were stacked high with brand new 1940’s and 50’s hats: Trilbys, homburgs, pork pies, fedoras, snap brims… You name it, they had them. It reminded me of a line from a John Cheever short story :”I grew up in a time when everyone’s father wore a hat.” But who bought these hats today? I haven’t seen someone wearing a homburg for years. Anywhere. But this looked like the Vienna home of homburgs. There must have been thirty of them stacked.
“Can I help you?” the old man asked very kindly.
I didn’t know what to say.
Can I stay here and just breathe this air a while and look into your shadows?
—  Jonathan Carroll
5

I got my friend Katie to take some shots of my Taako cosplay with my phone 👌🏻It’s heavily inspired by @goknights and @hackedmotionart
since I fell in love with their Taako designs and that’s what finally got me to listen to The Adventure Zone after my friends were trying to get me to do so for years.


💎I made the coat a few years ago just because I needed a new coat. When I was a chef I occasionally left it in the break room & my coworkers started calling it “the wizard coat”, so it seemed pretty appropriate for Taako.
💎I wanted the braid on my wig to be more robust so I bought a clearance jumbo braid in alloy from Arda and wetfted it into an old white wig bc I thought the colors would look neat together.
💎I made the hat out of scraps from my remnants bin & whatever craft supplies I had lying around.
💎I ordered the umbrella off of ebay & then hand-painted it.
💎The belt accessory-holder-things were also made out of stuff lying around my apartment.
💎The jewelry & accessories are all things that I already owned (a couple borrowed from @scandalous-calves), some from years of going to ren faires and saying “I should get a nice wand because I’m inevitably going to need it for a cosplay someday”.

6

Adventures of Michelle and Hayden…..

After our dinner tonight we walked around the town (despite the rain) and I got to see Christmas lights.

Then we stopped at Tesco (kind of like Walmart-ish) and I bought a new hat and Hayden bought me these adorable socks. ❤️❤️

“It was a dark and stormy night” as we walked back to his house (inside joke).

@hrstories1234