and i blame every single one of you

Aries —
oh, my sweet, sweet child, what has the world done to you? you were a bright promise,
the tomorrow we had hoped for, holding flowers in your mouth without crushing them
and trusting blindly in those around you. and then came the blood; and now your fire
is a quiet thing, a crackling murmur hidden in the shadows. you’ve curled into yourself
like a newborn babe, held your heart tightly to your chest and began the tedious healing.
and all the salt in your tears made the deep wounds sting; was it this what kept you pure?
I wonder, oh, I wonder. before you, I had never seen an anathema so full of innocence.
(the world tried to cast you down from paradise; and it succeeded. but the fall couldn’t
maim you, for fire cannot kill fire – it simply shrunk you, much like a mimosa bloom.
I hope one day you’ll feel safe enough to flower, for there is so much beauty in you.)


Taurus —
I wish I could wrap my hands around your shoulders and hold you close for a while,
because oh, what sad things they are, your bones. I am so sorry, beloved; so very sorry.
and I am well aware these apologies cannot change anything, but I want you to know
that there is someone who sees you as you are – even when all the others see is your
superfluous frivolity and your desire for riches, I see the thoughtful mind, the gentle
gestures, each and every of your heartbeats. the song of you is imprinted into my memory
as the change in seasons is; you are unforgettable, something so precious and so very dear.
(don’t let them shame you for your greed – those who try to do so cannot wrap their
all too little minds around the fact that sin is not necessarily negative. your love for gold
has root in the same place as your love for others; you only want it so you may share it.)


Gemini —
it’s lonely, isn’t it? not being the way all others are. they tell you you’re a forgery, that your
smile is a mask and your composure an act, simply because they cannot accept the idea
that people are supposed to be multidimensional. on and on they go, pinning their ignorance
to you under the name of blame, seeing in you only that which they wish to see. sometimes,
you wish you were like them. I know you do. you shouldn’t. it might be lonely where you are,
but that doesn’t mean it’s a bad thing; lonely doesn’t mean secluded. there are others like you,
with minds like diamonds. others like you, who are only habitual in their tendency for change.
(you will find someone who can make sense out of you, one day, you know. they’ll know you
better than you yourself do – every single aspect of you, every single frantic facet and feeling.
and when you do, the wait will be more than worth it. I promise you won’t die nor live alone.)


Cancer —
you poor, poor, poor thing. it’s been a thousand years since you’ve curled into yourself, hid
your heart deep in the cradle of your ribs and let yourself sleep; then the time came for you
to awaken, and you found the world unchanged – it was as if everything had stood still.
reality swept into you like saltwater into gaping wounds, and every fiber of your soul wept.
fearful, you took the broken glass road still, walked it fully aware of what laid in waiting;
like a bride the night she is wed to a stranger, you swallowed your terror and saw it through.
often, those ignorant make you out to be such a bumbling coward. you’re not. you just aren’t.
(in fact, you’re on of the bravest people I know; it takes so much courage to let the world
see you weep – and it takes even more of it to wipe your tears and keep moving forward.
above all, it takes immense courage to allow yourself to love even when you know it’ll hurt.)


Leo —
the size of your heart puts to shame both Jupiter and your own pride and ego; to this day,
I am not sure if you would have been better off with one much smaller, but I know for sure
the world would have been emptier by far. you see, your touch is one of gold; whomever
you decide to invest your time and love into grows the size of Atlas, and so, without you
as you are now there would have been much less in the world. that is your downfall, isn’t it?
always has been. the way you’ve always put others first, giving them all of you, never asking
for anything to be given to you in return. you are a gardener, dearest, and people are your roses.
(it breaks my heart that all your selfless effort was almost always repaid in hurt and sorrow;
know that you are not to be blamed for any of it. you have done nothing wrong – sometimes,
things simply fall apart. don’t shut your heart. I’d hate to see your love rot and turn to hatred.)


Virgo —
you have endured well the contempt of others, my dear; you have taken every blow with open arms.
they have called you frigid and prude and arrogant and everything in between, but you knew better.
tell me then: if you can endure so well the slander of others, if you don’t care what they make of you,
why do you worry so? why do you see only blemishes when you look at yourself in the mirror?
your hesitance to trust others stems in your fear that if you let them in they’ll see your ugliness, all
the imagined imperfections you see in your reflection. you can’t trust others because you don’t trust
yourself; and I wish so badly that you would have a little more faith in who you are, in your beauty.
(being unable to forgive, jealousy and lust do not make you terrible. hate is human nature as much
as love is; emotions, be they bad or good, are intrinsic to mankind. you are such a passionate being,
despite your outward delicacy, and that, my dear, is simply stunning. please try to love yourself.)


Libra —
darling child, didn’t the gods tell you the mob sees dancers as something of the devil, especially
when their preferred stage is the sharp edge of a sword? few in this world love truth, and fewer still
are fond of things like righteousness and justice. your ability to remain indiscriminate in the face
of contradictory realities and deny none of them is both a blessing and a curse. your mind, I fear,
is the Pandora fate has crafted specifically for you; a beautiful gift that hides such doom and sorrow.
and you are aware of all of this – how you were meant for greater things, with your noble mind
and your true heart, yet on you dance, fighting against the windmills of adversity. how brave you are.
(know that your effort will not go without reward. know that you won’t be forever unloved, nor
will you be forever misunderstood. there will be those whom, like you, have the makings of just men,
and they will understand. keep your eyes open and search the crowd; that is what you do best.)


Scorpio —
I look at you and my heart grows small; there is so much sadness in you, from the flower
of your eyes to the slouching arch of your shoulders. you have been misjudged
and falsely accused for so long: whore, they said; monster, perverter, sickness of the soul –
and all of it because you like sex, as if somehow they are the virgin mary reborn,
the goddamn hypocrites. this, too, is something they have misunderstood; it is not sex
that you crave or are interested in. it is intimacy: it is the vulnerability that comes with having
your soul completely bared and lain before another; you crave love, in its’ purest of forms.
(and I know they have convinced you that someone of your kind is not “worthy”; fuck that.
your love is priceless, and one day someone will call your battle scars a masterpiece.
one day someone will love you as wholly as you deserve to be loved. they will love all of you.)


Sagittarius —
there is such wanderlust in you – you’ve made a home out of the long, long roads,
walked the earth to its’ ends and bathed in the oceans of the horizon; the sky was
your sole companion, its’ stars your map, the wind a spellsong to ward off the passing
sadness and melancholia that threatened to dim the flame of your heart. oh, my child;
how very wonderful you are, a barefoot nomad forever in awe of the world. the feeble
minded call you rootless; how wrong they are. having a voyager heart does not make you
afraid of commitment. it simply means your roots lie elsewhere, splat across the world.
(do not let their malice plant doubts into your mind’s garden; your gypsy heart is worth more
than all their empty ones combined. keep daring the world, sate your thirst for journeying;
only exploration can ever lead to discovery, so let your feet and head both walk the world.)


Capricorn —
good god, you’re so tired. life has worn you down to the marrow of your bones,
took everything from you until you were bare-handed; and yet.
and yet you’re still here, standing before me, your spine hardened to titanium,
a delicate thing that can withstand even the most apocalyptic of sieges;
you still find it in you to smile, bitter-bloody-all-teeth and still happy, somehow.
know that I am proud of you; of your bravery, of your resilience,
of how you’ve clung to life by the skin of your teeth. I am proud of you.
(and know that you deserve happiness – you may feel like you don’t, you may feel
that it is above the likes of you, but you deserve it; you have earned it.
know that one of these days, the sun will shine down on your lane, too.)


Aquarius —
there’s so much of you inside your skin I am often surprised it has yet to come apart at the seams;
there’s so much of everything inside your skull I am left in awe of your bones – often I wonder,
how are they strong enough to contain the exploding universe inside? my god, this world of ours
has seven wonders and you are all of them. the fortitude of your bright mind ceaselessly
surprises me; I know what to expect, and yet I am still thrown off by your ingenuity and your
ability to remain rational in your abstract ways. nobody but you is open enough to accept it all;
nobody but you can see through the prism of all eyes and walk away with their sanity intact.
(I know they call you “cold”, an ice queen of the Siberian tundra. let them be. those who cannot
see your white-hot warmth are not worthy of your brilliance. you are the brightest star, my dear,
someone accepting and embracing of it all. do not settle for anyone that is blind to your light.)


Pisces —
and how terrible it must be for you, who lives always halfway, to be stuck in a world
that demands certainties which you will never have to give. it is not to say you don’t want
to be resolute – you simply cannot. your world does not have truth, nor does it have falsity;
all that your world has are colors, swirling, forever mingling anew like the clouds in the sky.
one day you are overflowing with everything that blooms inside of you, and lilies
are spilling out of your ribs; the next, you’re empty, and you can’t for the life of you
find something that is all-encompassing enough to fill the growing abyss south of your sternum.
(know that it is okay. the most humane thing you can be is full of contradictions;
as maddening as it can be, each paradox gets you closer to the entity your peers call god.
it was never the devil that built his home on the crossroads, you know. embrace your nature.)

—  poetry for the signs: the “you’ve done well” edition, L. Schreiber

Hey anti sitting in my inbox! Nice to meet you! I don’t want to publish your ask ‘cause I’m not up to indulging in your hate while we’re here dancing and cheering over Cas’ return.

lbr I can’t explain why Dean is grieving this extremely without mentioning Cas at all. Cas was written ALL OVER DEAN’S GRIEF the moment he was stabbed in 12x23. Every single abrupt decision, every single barbed retort, every single instance where Dean’s festering grief peeks through the cracks of his broken mind and takes itself out on Sam and especially Jack—Cas is the reason Dean’s off the rails.

This is Dean’s ROCK BOTTOM, NO NORMAL. I mean, why else do you see these significant narrative markers that continue to highlight Dean vs Sam?

The stark contrast is there. Sam’s ABLE to move past Cas’ death. Dean CAN’T.

This scene reveals—in one breathless explosive stroke—the mentally taxing burden Dean’s been carrying around on his shoulders: Cas’ death. He blames Jack, the mirror of Dean’s self-loathing, powerful (MoC, Demon!Dean), putrid, undeserving soul.

Dean ultimately blames himself; his love for Cas is what killed him in the end.

It’s impossible to put Sam in Dean’s place. It’s impossible to picture him reacting so violently, so bitterly, because he doesn’t fit into Dean’s grief narrative.

An angst-studded grief narrative that yells “Cas comes first! Cas this! Cas that! WHAT ABOUT CAS? Let’s kill the freak! Cas died ‘cause of him!”

Sam isn’t the one who wants to kill Jack. Dean is.

Sam isn’t the one who lost faith in everything. Dean is.

Sam isn’t spilling the mere existence of the supernatural—the true nature of their job—to normal civilians. Dean is.

Sam isn’t telling victims right-off-the-bat that their loved ones are dead. Dean is.

Sam isn’t in love with Cas. Dean is.

And that same fierce love—alongside listless grief—induced Jack to bring Cas back, both for Dean and for himself.

My Musical List

ALL RIGHT KIDS LISTEN UP BECAUSE IM GONNA RANT ABOUT EACH AND EVERY ONE OF THE MUSICALS I HAVE SAVED ON SPOTIFY SO SIT DOWN

Natasha, Pierre, and the Great Comet of 1812: OKAY SO MAYBE I HAVENT LISTENED TO THE WHOLE THING BUT I CAME FOR PIPPA AND I WAS NOT DISAPPOINTED AND THE WHOLE CAST IS AMAZING AND IDC WHAT PEOPLE SAY BUT THE NEW CAST IS GORGEOUS TOO AND IM PISSED THEY CLOSED AND I FEEL LIKE THE PRIVATE AND INTIMATE LIFE OF THE HOUSE IS UNDER APPRECIATED AND SO ARE THOSE HIGH NOTES FROM NO ONE ELSE

Les Miserables: A CLASSIC NEED I SAY MORE JESUS CHRISTZOUKKA THAT ENERGY FROM DO YOU HEAR THE PEOPLE SING GOT ME SCREECHING EVERY TIME AND I FEEL LIKE THEY SHOULD DO A MARCH ON TRUMPS LIL HOUSE SINGING THAT SONG ALSO ONE DAY MORE IS JUST GORGEOUS ESPECIALLY THOSE PEOPLE THAT FLASH MOBBED IT IN A MALL AND THE CAST DID IT ALL WITHOUT AUTOTUNE AND I DREAMED A DREAM LITERALLY DESCRIBES MY LIFE SO ITS GOOD FOR EMOTIONAL BREAKDOWNS

In the Heights: LINNNNN AND ALSO ITS THE REAL BOP THAT FIRST SONG GOT ME JAMMIN AND I CAN RAP DAT SPANISH SO IT GETS HECKIN LIT OVER HERE AND I KNOW I CAN’T HIT THE HIGH NOTES FROM BREATHE BUT I TRY AND ALABANZA GOT ME ON THE FLOOR THINKING OF ALL MY DREAMS AND HAPPINESS THAT DIED ALONG WITH ABUELA CLAUDIA AND ALSO WHY IS CHRIS JACKSON IN EVERY SINGLE ONE OF LINS PROJECTS LIKE I DON’T BLAME HIM BUT THEY THE REAL FAM LET ME SAY

Amelie: WHY DID THIS MUSICAL CLOSE AFTER LITERALLY A MONTH IM FINNA FLIP A TABLE THEY DID NOT DESERVE THIS LIKE MAYBE THE LYRICS WERE A LIL DIFFERENT BUT THAT WAS NOT AN EXCUSE TO SHUT IT DOWN BECAUSE TIMES ARE HARD FOR DREAMERS AND STAY ARE SOME OF THE ACTUAL BEST SONGS OUT THERE SO GET THAT MUSICAL BACK ONSTAGE OR SO HELP ME

The Book of Mormon: GOLLY GEE ITS JUST A LITTLE BIT OFFENSIVE BUT YOU CANT STOP BOPPIN TO THAT FANTASTIC MUSIC SO YOU REALLY DONT KNOW HOW TO REACT BUT I REACT BY TURNING IT UP AND JOSH GAD AND ANDREW RANNELLS ARE GODS AND IDK WHY THE HELL SOUTH PARK PEOPLE ARE ON BWAY BUT THEY SURE KNOW WHAT THE HELL THEY DOING ON BWAY SO THEY CAN STAY AND ALSO ITS FLIPPIN HILARIOUS 

Dear Evan Hansen: THATS NOT TEARS THATS JUST MY EYES RELATING TO THE LYRICS AND SWEATING

Hamilton: I CANNOT DO JUSTICE BECAUSE JUST THE IDEA OF THE PLAY, MAKING OUR FOUNDING FATHERS INTO A DIVERSE AND AMAZING CAST THAT SING TO RAP AND HIP-HOP IS PURE GENIUS AND THE MUSIC IS MY LIFE BUT THE ACTUAL STORY AND THE WAY HE TELLS IT ARE SO BEAUTIFUL SO THANK YOU LIN BECAUSE YOU AND THIS MUSICAL ARE A GIFT TO THE PLANET

Heathers: DEATH, SEX, DRUGS, AND HIGH SCHOOL, NEEDS TO COME BACK TO BROADWAY 

Moana: YEA I KNOW IT AINT A STAGE MUSICAL BUT LIN WROTE IT AND IT REPRESENTS A RARELY REPRESENTED CULTURE ALONG WITH AMAZING AND CULTURAL MUSIC AND A CAST THAT IS POLYNESIAN AND NATIVE HAWAIIAN WITH INCREDIBLE TALENT AND A WONDERFUL EMPOWERING STORY LINE AND IF YOU DONT THINK IM SCREAMING MY LUNGS OUT EVERY TIME THAT LITTLE CHIMEY NOISE FROM THE BEGINNING OF HOW FAR ILL GO COMES ON THEN YOU ARE DEAD WRONG MY DUDE

Something Rotten: CHRISTIAN BORLE. TAP DANCING EGGS. BRIAN D’ARCY JAMES. WHAT MORE DO YOU WANT AND IK PEOPLE THINK ITS WEIRD BUT I LOVE IT AND FOR SOME REASON IT REMINDS ME OF THIS WEIRD ANIMATED ROMEO AND JULIET I WATCHED WHEN I WAS YOUNGER FEATURING SEALS BUT THE LINE DONT BE A PENIS THE MAN IS A GENIUS REALLY RESONATED IN MY HEART

Waitress: ONLY RECENTLY INTRODUCED TO THIS ONE BUT YESSS SHE USED TO BE MINE GOT ME DEAD

Wicked: IF YOU THINK I DONT SCREAM MY VERY ORGANS OUT TO DEFYING GRAVITY OR KNOW THE DANCE MOVES TO POPULAR THEN YOURE WRONG

Falsettos: ANDREW RANNELLSSSSSS AND ALSO WHAT AN AMAZING MUSICAL BECAUSE ITS DIVERSE HAS GREAT MUSIC IS FUNNY AND SAD AND JESUS THE PLOT IS JUST GREAT AND THERE IS A SMOL CHILD UP THERE AND THIS IS ONE OF MY FAVORITES WITHOUT A DOUBT 

okay, that’s all. thank u

Aries — 

 Oh, my sweet, sweet child, what has the world done to you? You were a bright promise, the tomorrow we had hoped for, holding flowers in your mouth without crushing them and trusting blindly in those around you. And then came the blood; and now your fire is a quiet thing, a crackling murmur hidden in the shadows. You’ve curled into yourself like a newborn babe, held your heart tightly to your chest and began the tedious healing. And all the salt in your tears made the deep wounds sting; was it this what kept you pure? I wonder, oh, I wonder. Before you, I had never seen an anathema so full of innocence. (The world tried to cast you down from paradise; and it succeeded. But the fall couldn’t maim you, for fire cannot kill fire – it simply shrunk you, much like a mimosa bloom. I hope one day you’ll feel safe enough to flower, for there is so much beauty in you.)

Taurus — 

 I wish I could wrap my hands around your shoulders and hold you close for a while, because oh, what sad things they are, your bones. I am so sorry, beloved; so very sorry. And I am well aware these apologies cannot change anything, but I want you to know that there is someone who sees you as you are – even when all the others see is your superfluous frivolity and your desire for riches, I see the thoughtful mind, the gentle gestures, each and every of your heartbeats. The song of you is imprinted into my memory
as the change in seasons is; you are unforgettable, something so precious and so very dear. (Don’t let them shame you for your greed – those who try to do so cannot wrap their all too little minds around the fact that sin is not necessarily negative. Your love for gold has root in the same place as your love for others; you only want it so you may share it.)

Gemini — 

 It’s lonely, isn’t it? not being the way all others are. They tell you you’re a forgery, that your smile is a mask and your composure an act, simply because they cannot accept the idea that people are supposed to be multidimensional. On and on they go, pinning their ignorance to you under the name of blame, seeing in you only that which they wish to see. Sometimes, you wish you were like them. I know you do. You shouldn’t. It might be lonely where you are, but that doesn’t mean it’s a bad thing; lonely doesn’t mean secluded. There are others like you, with minds like diamonds. Others like you, who are only habitual in their tendency for change. (You will find someone who can make sense out of you, one day, you know. They’ll know you better than you yourself do – every single aspect of you, every single frantic facet and feeling. And when you do, the wait will be more than worth it. I promise you won’t die nor live alone.)

Cancer — 

 You poor, poor, poor thing. It’s been a thousand years since you’ve curled into yourself, hid your heart deep in the cradle of your ribs and let yourself sleep; then the time came for you to awaken, and you found the world unchanged – it was as if everything had stood still. Reality swept into you like saltwater into gaping wounds, and every fiber of your soul wept. fearful, you took the broken glass road still, walked it fully aware of what laid in waiting; like a bride the night she is wed to a stranger, you swallowed your terror and saw it through. Often, those ignorant make you out to be such a bumbling coward. You’re not. You just aren’t. (In fact, you’re one of the bravest people I know; it takes so much courage to let the world see you weep – and it takes even more of it to wipe your tears and keep moving forward. Above all, it takes immense courage to allow yourself to love even when you know it’ll hurt.)

Leo — 

 The size of your heart puts to shame both Jupiter and your own pride and ego; to this day, I am not sure if you would have been better off with one much smaller, but I know for sure the world would have been emptier by far. You see, your touch is one of gold; whomever you decide to invest your time and love into grows the size of Atlas, and so, without you as you are now there would have been much less in the world. That is your downfall, isn’t it? Always has been. The way you’ve always put others first, giving them all of you, never asking for anything to be given to you in return. You are a gardener, dearest, and people are your roses. (It breaks my heart that all your selfless effort was almost always repaid in hurt and sorrow; know that you are not to be blamed for any of it. You have done nothing wrong – sometimes, things simply fall apart. Don’t shut your heart. I’d hate to see your love rot and turn to hatred.)

Virgo — 

 You have endured well the contempt of others, my dear; you have taken every blow with open arms. They have called you frigid and prude and arrogant and everything in between, but you knew better. Tell me then: if you can endure so well the slander of others, if you don’t care what they make of you, why do you worry so? Why do you see only blemishes when you look at yourself in the mirror? Your hesitance to trust others stems in your fear that if you let them in they’ll see your ugliness, all the imagined imperfections you see in your reflection. You can’t trust others because you don’t trust yourself; and I wish so badly that you would have a little more faith in who you are, in your beauty. (Being unable to forgive, jealousy and lust do not make you terrible. Hate is human nature as much as love is; emotions, be they bad or good, are intrinsic to mankind. You are such a passionate being, despite your outward delicacy, and that, my dear, is simply stunning. Please try to love yourself.)

Libra — 

 Darling child, didn’t the gods tell you the mob sees dancers as something of the devil, especially when their preferred stage is the sharp edge of a sword? Few in this world love truth, and fewer still are fond of things like righteousness and justice. Your ability to remain indiscriminate in the face of contradictory realities and deny none of them is both a blessing and a curse. Your mind, I fear, is the Pandora fate has crafted specifically for you; a beautiful gift that hides such doom and sorrow. And you are aware of all of this – how you were meant for greater things, with your noble mind and your true heart, yet on you dance, fighting against the windmills of adversity. How brave you are. (Know that your effort will not go without reward. Know that you won’t be forever unloved, nor will you be forever misunderstood. There will be those whom, like you, have the makings of just men, and they will understand. Keep your eyes open and search the crowd; that is what you do best.)

Scorpio — 

 I look at you and my heart grows small; there is so much sadness in you, from the flower of your eyes to the slouching arch of your shoulders. You have been misjudged and falsely accused for so long: Whore, they said; monster, perverter, sickness of the soul – and all of it because you like sex, as if somehow they are the Virgin Mary reborn, the goddamn hypocrites. This, too, is something they have misunderstood; it is not sex that you crave or are interested in. It is intimacy: it is the vulnerability that comes with having your soul completely bared and lain before another; you crave love, in its’ purest of forms. (And I know they have convinced you that someone of your kind is not “worthy”; fuck that. Your love is priceless, and one day someone will call your battle scars a masterpiece. One day someone will love you as wholly as you deserve to be loved. They will love all of you.)

Sagittarius — 

 There is such wanderlust in you – you’ve made a home out of the long, long roads, walked the earth to its’ ends and bathed in the oceans of the horizon; the sky was your sole companion, its’ stars your map, the wind a spellsong to ward off the passing sadness and melancholia that threatened to dim the flame of your heart. Oh, my child; how very wonderful you are, a barefoot nomad forever in awe of the world. The feeble minded call you rootless; how wrong they are. Having a voyager heart does not make you afraid of commitment. It simply means your roots lie elsewhere, splat across the world. (Do not let their malice plant doubts into your mind’s garden; your gypsy heart is worth more than all their empty ones combined. Keep daring the world, sate your thirst for journeying; only exploration can ever lead to discovery, so let your feet and head both walk the world.)

Capricorn — 

 Good god, you’re so tired. Life has worn you down to the marrow of your bones, took everything from you until you were bare-handed; and yet you’re still here, standing before me, your spine hardened to titanium, a delicate thing that can withstand even the most apocalyptic of sieges; you still find it in you to smile, bitter-bloody-all-teeth and still happy, somehow. Know that I am proud of you; of your bravery, of your resilience, of how you’ve clung to life by the skin of your teeth. I am proud of you. (And know that you deserve happiness – you may feel like you don’t, you may feel that it is above the likes of you, but you deserve it; you have earned it. Know that one of these days, the sun will shine down on your lane, too.)

Aquarius — 

 There’s so much of you inside your skin I am often surprised it has yet to come apart at the seams; there’s so much of everything inside your skull I am left in awe of your bones – often I wonder, how are they strong enough to contain the exploding universe inside? My god, this world of ours has seven wonders and you are all of them. The fortitude of your bright mind ceaselessly surprises me; I know what to expect, and yet I am still thrown off by your ingenuity and your ability to remain rational in your abstract ways. Nobody but you is open enough to accept it all; nobody but you can see through the prism of all eyes and walk away with their sanity intact. (I know they call you “cold”, an ice queen of the Siberian tundra. Let them be. Those who cannot see your white-hot warmth are not worthy of your brilliance. You are the brightest star, my dear, someone accepting and embracing of it all. Do not settle for anyone that is blind to your light.)

Pisces — 

 And how terrible it must be for you, who lives always halfway, to be stuck in a world that demands certainties which you will never have to give. It is not to say you don’t want to be resolute – you simply cannot. Your world does not have truth, nor does it have falsity; all that your world has are colors, swirling, forever mingling anew like the clouds in the sky. One day you are overflowing with everything that blooms inside of you, and lilies are spilling out of your ribs; the next, you’re empty, and you can’t for the life of you find something that is all-encompassing enough to fill the growing abyss south of your sternum. (Kknow that it is okay. The most humane thing you can be is full of contradictions;  as maddening as it can be, each paradox gets you closer to the entity your peers call God. It was never the Devil that built his home on the crossroads, you know. Embrace your nature.)

— Poetry for the Signs: The “You’ve Done Well” Edition, by L. Schreiber.

Sad Songs

A/N This is a pretty crappy one (not gonna lie) but I just wanted to write something… so here you guys go!! I’m probably gonna write a part 2 because I have a few ideas in mind… Anyways hope you enjoy this!

Pairing: Tom Holland x reader, ft Harrison Osterfield and Zendaya

Word Count: 1, 218

Warnings: None? A lil angst?

Inspired by The Deceitful Man by @webslingerholland!!

Masterlist 

| Part 2 |  


You sat down on the couch. Excitement bubbled inside of you. Tom was landing today. You were ecstatic. Tom had been away for 6 months, filming Chaos Walking and going for press tours. You couldn’t leave London due to your job, so you had to make do with Skype calls or texts. You missed him so much and you couldn’t wait to have him in your arms again. The late night skype calls weren’t enough. You were desperate to touch him, hug him and kiss him.

You smiled to yourself as you looked at the picture of you and Tom hanging on the wall. Oh how you wished time would pass faster. A buzz from your phone snapped you out of your thoughts. You picked up the rectangle block. A text from Zendaya.

Call me on Skype. It’s important.

You frowned. What happened? It couldn’t be Tom. Harrison would’ve called you if something happened to Tom. You rang her up on Skype.

“Hey Zend-”

“He’s cheating.” You could sense the nervousness in her voice.

You furrowed your brows. Who was cheating? Tom? Not possible. Was Zendaya’s boyfriend cheating on her?

“What? Who?”

“Tom.”

You couldn’t believe what you heard. You blinked. Was your head processing this right? Tom?  Thomas Holland? Cheating? On you? No way. You refused to believe it. You laughed.

“That’s a good prank Z. Thomas wouldn’t cheat on me.” You said flatly.

“But he did. Y/N you need to believe me. I have proof.”

“I don’t think so Z.” Your voice quivered a little.

“I’m so sorry.” She said as your phone buzzed. You looked down. A picture of Tom holding another woman, smiling as he kissed her passionately. You refused to believe what you saw.  

“Are you sure that this isn’t from Chaos Walking?”

“It was taken during a get together three weeks ago. There was no booze. Nothing. I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have kept it from you for so long. I just didn’t know what to do.” She apologised with a sorry expression plastered on her face. You knew it was true.

“It’s alright. Does Harrison know?”

“Yes. You alright?”

“I’m fine.” You’re not.

“You’re not.”  

She was right. You were broken. Torn. Hurt. You bit your lip hard, trying to stop yourself from breaking down. But you couldn’t hold back. Hot tears started to trickle down your cheek as you thought of Tom holding another woman, with the hands that held you. You thought of Tom kissing her, with the lips that said ‘I love you’. You thought of Tom’s smile, the one that could light up your day. You thought of him, until the familiar ringtone sounded through your house. It was Tom.

“Hello?” You put the phone on loudspeaker so that Zendaya could hear.

“Hey. Haz and I just landed. But you don’t have to come see us. We’re really tired. Gonna head to my house to rest. I’ll see you in a few days at your family dinner alright?”

“How about tomorrow? We have tickets to watch a movie remember?”

“Oh… about that… I’m sorry but I’m really tired and I want to take a few days to rest. You can take your sister instead.” He sounded nervous. You could tell that he was lying through his teeth.

“My sister is studying in Singapore Tom.”

“Right… sorry.”

“It’s fine. I’ll see you soon. Love you.”

You said, waiting for an ‘I love you’ back, but the line went dead.

“Oh God. I’m so sorry Y/N. I can come over tomorrow to watch it with you?” She suggested, hoping to lift your spirits.

“It’s fine. I have something to do anyways. You’ll hear about it though.” You smiled.


You were fine. You had skipped the whole crying and wallowing in self pity phase of a breakup. You spent the night singing happy breakup songs and clearing your house. You packed up all of Tom’s things into a box. You cleared all the clothes you took, all the pictures and all the gifts. You packed it into two cardboard boxes. You loaded the boxes into the boot of your car and you headed off.

“Y/N?” Harrison looked surprised and extremely uncomfortable.

“Hey.” You smiled.

“uh… what are you doing here?” He leaned his weight on the door, such that all you could see was him and a little bit of the house.

“I thought that I could come surprise Tom. I have somethings for him.”

“Oh… well but Tom doesn’t want you here right now. Plus he’s out.” Lies. Tom’s shoes were by the shoe rack.

“It’s fine. I’ll just leave the things here.”

Harrison reached to take the boxes, but you pushed your way through and walked into the house.

“Y/N, I said you’re not supposed to be here.“ 

You dropped the boxes. Now you were angry.

“Why? Why Harrison? Why am I not allowed here. Give me one good reason why I shouldn’t be here.” You were fuming. How could Harrison not tell you? He was your best friend too.

“I said, Tom isn’t home.” Lies.

“I’m not blind Haz. I can see the pair of high heels sitting next to Tom’s shoes. I know Harrison. I know.“ 

By then you were raising your voice. You didn’t care if you were disturbing Tom and his girlfriend, you needed to let your pent up anger go.

“Geez what’s with the noise?”

You turned to see him. Standing on the steps of the staircase. He froze. He went white. You desperately wanted to go up to him and kiss him. You wanted to scream at him. You wanted to hug him. You wanted to slap him into another universe.

“Y/N… what are you doing here? I told you not to come.”

You shrugged.

“I told you not to come. God why can’t you just listen? I wanted t-”

“To spend time with your new girlfriend?” You fired back.

He was stunned. He figured that you wouldn’t have found out. He figured that if he hid her well enough, no one else would find out.

“Oh yea. It was supposed to be a secret. My bad. Zendaya happened to spill the beans. Whoops?”

“Zendaya…” his hand curled into a fist.

“Don’t blame her. I think I deserve to know if my boyfriend doesn’t want me anymore right?”

His face softened when you said that.

“Y/N… it’s not that I don’t want you. I do. I’m so sorry… it was a one time thing. It was an accident. I was drunk. I didn’t know what I was doing.” He pleaded.

“No wonder you won that award at the BAFTAs… you’re a really good actor.” You crossed your arms, pretending to be wowed by his performance.

“Wha-”

“Zendaya told me every single detail Thomas. There was no booze. You were definitely in the right mind… and judging by the pair of high heels over there… I’m pretty sure it’s not a one time thing.” You stated flatly.

“No Y/N… It’s not… no… Please forgive me. I’ll break up with her…”

“It’s fine Thomas.”

He looked at you, his eyes lit up. He was thankful that he was given another chance.

“It was nice while it lasted. Goodbye Thomas.”

Send me requests

anonymous asked:

I wish you weren't friends with the Eruris, they've made your opinions kinda biased...

How so?

Are you suspecting me of being under the influence of the Erurinati and that my blog is a secret message spelling “ERURI IS CANON”? Is that what you’re implying?

EDIT: nevermind I think I’ve found the source

BTS Reaction | You Cheat

Request; bts reaction when you tell them that you’ve cheated on them 

A/N; SURPRISE. (I’m back for good~)

Kim Namjoon

Namjoon would be a lot more upset than he was angry. He never thought you would be the type to cheat on him. While he was away on tour the thought never even crossed his mind, he trusted you completely.

“Who was it? Is it someone we know?” he’d question.

“Was it more than once? I really can’t understand why you’d throw our relationship away for a one night stand”

Kim Seokjin

Seokjin would think it was a joke at first, not quite taking you seriously until he saw the serious look on your face, eyes filled with tears. Unknowingly his own tears would start to fall, his voice wavering slightly as he spoke.

“What do you mean you cheated on me?” he’d ask in disbelief.

“You can’t sit here telling me you love me after you had sex with another man”

Min Yoongi

Yoongi would most likely cry but his eyes would remain dark as he glared right at you. He was pissed beyond belief and would want to know every single detail of how you managed to end up in bed with another man.

“Was he good?” “Better than me?” he’d spit.

 “I’m so stupid for loving you… just get out”

Jung Hoseok

Hoseok would be a crying mess in front of you, sobbing as you spoke about how you ended up having a one night stand with a stranger after getting drunk. Part of him wanted to hate you but a bigger part of him blamed himself.

“Please tell me this is a joke?” he’d ask, already knowing the answer.

“This is my fault, isn’t it? I haven’t been there for you”

Park Jimin

Jimin wouldn’t cry, he wouldn’t let himself cry. Anger would consume him more than anything. He would try to mask how upset he was, making bitter comments about you sleeping with another man while he was away.

“I don’t know why I thought I was enough” he’d chuckle bitterly.

“I hope he was worth it”

Kim Taehyung

Taehyung would be quiet as you spoke. Letting the words sink in, staring at you with a blank expression the whole time.  He wouldn’t reach out to comfort you as you cried, even though he wanted to so badly.

“You don’t love me Y/N…” he’d murmur.

“Just go, I don’t want to see you again”

Jeon Jungkook

Jungkook wouldn’t be able to hold back his tears, cutting you off the moment you mentioned the word ‘cheat’. He didn’t want to hear it, nor did he want to believe it. One of his biggest fears was losing you to someone else.

“Tell me they didn’t mean anything to you” “Tell me it was only one time”

2

High King Peter, the Magnificent

This scene breaks my heart every time I watch Prince Caspian. Peter is so desperate to get back to Narnia, so desperate to be of use again to his kingdom. And he finally makes it back, just to have to try and prove that he is, in fact, a worthy king. But it doesn’t go according to plan - at all. His soldiers followed him into this battle, every single one of them trusted him with their lives and now he is forced to watch as they die, forced to leave them behind and save his own life. And he is horrified. He may blame Caspian as well later on, mostly in anger, but in this moment he blames only himself.

And remember, this boy is about 18 years old (at most). He is just a boy.

Fred being a third wheel would include...
  • You and George would be sleeping in the same bed (which Molly forbade you two from doing but what she didn’t know wouldn’t hurt right?)
  • and Fred obviously knowing because you’re all in the same room
  • so if he ever wakes up earlier he would so get into bed with the two of you just to be obnoxious
  • like you and George would be all cuddled up facing each other and then Fred would just climb in
  • George would swear/groan,
  • You would laugh most of the time,
  • and Fred would just act as if this was totally justified
  • He wouldn’t just lie next to you either
  • he would full bear-hug you
  • just to get a reaction out of Fred
  • He wouldn’t usually say anything at first to give the impression that this was definitely a normal thing to do
  • But if the two of you would ignore him, that wouldn’t work either.
  • “Good morning beautiful, you too Y/n”
  • “Wowee, good thing this bed is so small so we can all be closer!”
  • “Hope you two weren’t asleep over here haha that would be pretty shit”
  • “goODNESS GRACIOUS ISN’T IT SUCH A PLEASANT MORNING LET’S ALL HUG”
  • George: “actually fuck off”
  • Fred would definitely be thrown out of the bed on every single occasion
  • but since you’d be in the middle then that means that you’d get the force too
  • but also this is an excuse for you to push Fred out and blame it on George
  • George genuinely finds it annoying because you two rarely got any alone time together as it was
  • but you saw it as a fair price to pay since the two boys have been practically joint at the hip since birth
  • plus frustrated Georgie would be hilariously cute
Can’t Let Go.

For all those who asked a part two of Stone Cold, here it is! You can also read it as an individual piece on it’s own. 

Masterlist

Stone Cold

-X-


Six months. Twenty Six weeks.

It took Y/N six months to get to a point in her life where she didn’t end up crying at the thought of the man she gave everything to, a man who was her world until he chose not to be and walked out of her life. It took her six months of waking up, after nightmares, with a sweaty forehead, hands clammy and shaking and wild eyes only to realise that reality was much worse. Six months of coming home after work to an empty house filled with six years of memories of reunions, parties, anniversaries, fights, sadness, anger, tears and a feeling that she was now almost unfamiliar with , joy. Six months of sleeping in an empty bed with it’s left side still untouched, the scent of hi cologne long forgotten. Six month was long time to comprehend the loss of someone she once held so dearly and actually still does and wrap her head around the fact that his happiness and his heart was not hers anymore and belonged to someone else.

She didn’t bother keeping up with his life after that picture she saw of him and his new lover, realising that she wouldn’t be helping herself but falling more into the pain and suffering which this time would be self inflicting. His mother and sister however contacted her occasionally, her absence in their lives feeling like the loss of a family member to them having known Y/N since she and Harry were babies. It was from Gemma that she heard about Harry’s new girlfriend being a student who attended the same university as Y/N once did, only letting her know this as a fact. A curious mind like Y/N’s never satisfied with not knowing every small detail wanted to know her name which she didn’t know would destroy not only the last bit of respect she harboured for her ex-lover and former best friend but also the strong facade she built up in the past half year.

Y/N couldn’t necessarily understand what drove Harry into befriending a person that she knew quite well and the events from there leading him to leaving Y/N for Laura. The insecurities she had as a person were not only shown to her friends and family but displayed for the wold to see, the paparazzi had a field day publishing how Harry left Y/N for a woman who was not only her classmate from university but also a very good friend of hers.

She learned to be strong despite how difficult it was. It’s true when people say time heals all wounds but the scars remain. She knew that Harry would always be an incredibly important part of her life despite not being in it anymore. She learned that life after him would be a new chapter and just like life had continued before him, it will go on after him and Harry, who in her mind was supposed to be a protagonist in her story, actually turned out to be a supporting character.

Six months was a long time for wounds to heals and dirt from the fall she took to be shrugged off. Six months was also the time that it took for Harry to show up on her door step unannounced.

-X-

It was ridiculous how the amount of time she spent on erasing the memories of that night along with her new motto of living life one day at a time could be erased with one look into those wild green eyes that she had grown to love. Those eyes that belonged to a person whom she once considered as home,a person she thought would be with her through everything. He had been there from the beginning and she felt it was foolish of her for assuming he would be there till the end.

It was ironic that despite however many times Harry reassured her that his heart was nobody else’s but her’s, that it was meant for her eyes, he not only ended up showing it to someone else but also giving it to them The funny thing was she believed him every single time he tried to reassure her, never once doubting his love for her.

She doesn’t know why it took him so long to show up at her door or why he showed up at all. He looked every bit the beautiful person she remembered him to be, if not ever more because memory doesn’t do justice sometimes. He looked like a dream to her with his hair now longer, grown out like how he wanted it to be reminding her of that time when it was almost as long as hers, long enough of her to braid it anyway; his eyes that radiant green that she could look at forever, shining brighter than diamonds and a nervous smile peeking on his lips despite his efforts to suppress it. His hands were fiddling with the hair at the back of his neck, a nervous habit he had that she knew of along with the swinging of his body on his heels and toes being another giveaway of his stance.

When the doorbell first rang indicating a visitor, she taught it would be her mum checking up on her, she tends to do that sometimes cos she’s worried, or it could be the new friend she made at work named Maya who informed her that she would drop by sometime. The last thing she expected was for it to be the person who not only broke her heart but stomped on it and had a field day with it. Her first instinct was to shut the door on his face, tell him to go fuck himself and never show her his face again but apparently his reflexes were quicker than hers, a foot wedging in the gap to prevent the door from closing, supported by his hand.

“Please don’t close the door. Just hear me out.” He pleaded , voice holding a desperate tone to it as he tried his best to squeeze himself past the entrance.

“What do have to say Harry? That you’re sorry? That I should forgive you? Well guess what, honey? It not gonna happen.”

“No.. well yeah but I just wanna explain. I just feel like I owe you that much.”

“So now you think you owe me an explanation? Where were you six months ago with this so called ‘explanation’ when I needed you to tell me you love me and that everything would be alright? Where were you when all I wanted to know was why I was not enough!”

He looked down, eyes filled with guilt. He knew that would he did was wrong. When he asked you to be his girlfriend, he promised himself that come what may, he would protect you from anything that could potentially cause you harm. He protected you from the paparazzi who considered it their moral right to invade your privacy; from fans who called you all sorts of names and a gold digger despite the fact that you knew Harry before all the money came into the equation; from tabloids who considered it their job to pick apart and dissect every minute detail of your life. Never in his wildest dreams had he thought that he would need to protect you from himself, that out of all the pain that was caused on you, he would be the one to hurt you the most. That night, he was too blind, he was so wrapped up in what could be that he forgot what is. He was so lost in what is good for him, what he thought he wanted and what he could have, that he actually forgot about what he already had. He didn’t realise that what he needed was already in front of him and had been for twenty three years of his life. He gave into the feeling of desire whispering in his ear that he could have so much more,so much better and he didn’t realise his mistake until it was too late. He didn’t realise that there was nothing and nobody who was better for him than you, that you were the best thing that ever happened to him until it was too late and he had already let you slip through his fingertips.He couldn’t help but let slip a few tears realising that he did the one thing he promised he would never do, hurt you.

“I’m sorry, love. I never meant to hurt you. I promise. I don’t know why I did it. I just wanna clear things up between us. Hate not talkin’ to yeh.”

“Alright. Let’s hear it then. I wanna know your reason as to why you did what you did.”

“ I was so wrapped up in my head that I didn’t pay attention to someone who I loved more than life itself. One word from you and I would leave all of this behind. And Laura was there, saying all the right things and I didn’t know what to do. And you were so busy with uni-”

“Don’t you dare blame it no me, Harry Styles. I gave you everything. I gave you all that you asked for and more. I never questioned your love for me while you questioned it every single day. I gave you my heart thinking I had yours only for you to give it to someone else without me knowing it. So don’t you even for a minute think of blaming this situation we’re in on me! I wanted to fix things that night! I came to you hoping that you would agree that we do love each other but forgot just how much. But instead you ran off with your girlfriend into the sunset while I was left alone with my heart not knowing what to do with it!”

Tear sprung in her eyes, voice growing hoarse because of all the shouting she did. Her eyes were wild and she was breathing rapidly, hands clenched into fists. eyes glaring at him.

“I broke up with her.” He mumbled in a feeble voice, barely audible to himself but he know she heard it. She’s got sharp hearing, that one.

“You broke up with her?”

“Yeah, three months ago.”

“So lemme get this straight, you broke up with me because you want to be with someone else. You ended our five, almost six year relationship and twenty three year old friendship so you could be with someone for three months?”

“I’m sorry. i don’t know what I was thinking. I promise I won’t do it again. I love you.”

He uttered the words that she had been waiting to leave his lips. The words that she believed could soothe the ache in her heart, fixing all the cracks and making it whole again. She waited for so long to hear these words come out of his mouth. It was so often that he would tell her he loves her in the first few years of their relationship, but in the last year it was scarce that he remembered her presence in the house. Like he said he was so absorbed in himself that he forgot about her.

“You love me? You’re joking. Please stop this nonsense, harry. You can’t come crawling and expect me to take you back after you went around gallivanting and had your fun. You can’t utter these words if you don’t mean it. How do I know that you won’t leave me again when you find someone else who , as you put it, 'said all the right things’? How can I be sure that you won’t walk out of my life like all the time and love we put into this relationship meant nothing to you?”

“You don’t. But please love, you have to trust me. I don’t know what I would do without you.”

“It seems like you would do just fine, to be honest. You want me to trust you? Trust you was all I ever did! I put my whole faith in you and showed you every nook and corner of my heart! I gave myself to you without a single doubt in my mind about you hurting me! Don’t talk about trust when you don’t know the pain that is inflicted when the person you love more than anything in the world breaks that trust!”

She sat down on the couch, head in hands, elbows supported on her thighs as she let out the tears that had been holding themselves at bay for so long. Unshed tears of pain, rolled down her cheeks as her whole body shook with her sobs. It was easier to bear the pain she felt when she was mad at him rather than in this moment because with the facade she put up, she could fool herself that she was strong. But now with letting out all her anger in the form of sadness, she realised that she was not fooling anyone. Harry knelt in front of her, his warm and soft hands taking hold of hers and gently trying to pry them away from her eyes. His puckered lips pressed warm kisses to her forehead as she cried, soothing her bit by bit. He eventually sat down beside her, lifting her body so as to perch it on his lap. She found solace in his comfort despite the pain being inflicted by him. She cried into his chest, her hands softly gripping the collar of his shirt as his hand rubbed soothingly across her back.

“I.. I can’t do this anymore Harry. I don’t know how to live without you but I don’t know how I will survive if this happens again.” She croaked, voice hoarse and scratchy.

“Shh love. I know. I promise this won’t happen again. I made a mistake and I would take it all back if I could. Please just let me in. I love you so so much.”

“It won’t be like it used to be. Before we lived around each other. It’s gonna take time.” She said making eye contact with him for the first time since he entered what once was and soon might again be their house. His eyes, just like hers, were filled with tears. Seeing her in pain hurt him more than he could comprehend. He held her a little tighter. His kisses on her cheeks and forehead got more frantic, leaving spongy wet spots all over. She giggled, eyes scrunching as her hands raised up to push his face away.

“Baby steps, yeah?” He said with a gentle smile on his face. The look he had being very similar to the way he used to look at her like she held the stars in her eyes. It was a look of love, she knew that much.

“Baby steps.” She agreed.

-X-

Feedback is always welcomed! Let me know if you liked it,xx.

looking at tumblr has been really overwhelming tonight. i am very happy with the majority of the Tony results. i am so proud of Dear Evan Hansen, the musical that has truly had such an impact on my life in a difficult time and the people in it that are such sources of positivity in my life. when i saw it, i was blown away and i have loved it infinitely ever since. it has taught me everyone is human, we all feel the need to belong and we are valid for it. it has shed light onto mental illness, something that i, and so many others, relate to and have struggled with, and we see ourselves in these characters. i don’t think you guys fucking understand that the entire theatre was sobbing during the performance. kids, senior citizens, teenagers, dads… everyone was so connected over this beautiful piece of theatre. everyone jumped to their feet after to give a standing ovation, the amount of love and emotion in that room was more than i’ve seen at every other show i’ve been to. 

this season was tough. there were many great shows that deserved awards. i am definitely a great comet fan, and i wish it had gotten more awards, including best orchestrations. remember though, that these are just the Tonys. they don’t dictate the popularity or success of a show. there were so many shows that deserved so many awards that it was impossible for all of them to win every single one. like many people, i do find it annoying and frustrating that one show tends to sweep the Tonys, but that’s something we don’t have control over, and that’s not something that you should blame on the musical itself. 

brushing aside dear evan hansen in a way that is offensive to the show, the actors, production team, and its fans is not okay. dear evan hansen was successful tonight, and it deserves it - imagine the happiness of the whole production team and actors and their families and friends right now. imagine if that were you, and there were hundreds of people online openly bashing your show and saying it didn’t deserve the award(s) that it got. before anyone know what this show was, i was overcome with emotion for it and knew that it was something extremely special. every single actor and member of the production team of dear evan hansen is so devoted to this show, and they have made it a truly amazing show that has impacted so many, whether you are impacted by it or not is irrelevant, the fact of the matter is that by bashing deh, you are invalidating so many’s peoples love for a musical that may run deeper than you know.

hating on dear evan hansen because of all of its tony wins is immature and rude. dear evan hansen didn’t choose to win these awards, it merely has a wonderful team that put together this piece of art that got the attention of the public eye. even if you don’t connect with deh the way many do, that doesn’t mean mean that it is a bad show, or that it is underserving of all of these awards. obviously, it was deserving, or else they wouldn’t have WON THEM. now, there are many shows that could have easily beaten deh for certain categories and i agree that, for example, comet should have won best orchestrations. but this is not a valid reason to bash dear evan hansen, just because you think a certain show should have won over it. it’s not the fault of dear evan hansen that great comet got robbed.

i hope that in the future, the tonys don’t take away recognition from so many great shows, but please remember that they’re just the TONYS, and they shouldn’t impact the way that you view shows. i am personally in debt to dear evan hansen for the strength and comfort it has provided me, not to mention its beautiful music and breathtaking performances that mean so much to me and so many others. let people enjoy the shows that they enjoy, and don’t spread hate just because your show didn’t win awards you think it should have. again, winning Tony awards does not mean a show is overrated or bland. it got them for a reason. 

So, we’ve tested the new (Phar)Mercy

And it’s the best thing ever.

As a main Pharah, I was worried about the new role of Pharah if Mercy could fly by herself, but the Pharmercy dynamic stays the same.

Now Mercy has “seconds of glory” in which she is the most OP character of OW at the moment. Yep, more than Doomfist. (Honestly, I highly doubt this rework will stay this way; she’ll get a nerf at some point).

When she’s using her ulti she can fly wherever she wants, faster and higher than Pharah. Out of that, her gun still does a lot of damage and now she can heal/boost multiple allies at the same time. Plus the res every 30 seconds. The guardian angel stays exactly the same, so don’t worry about reaching for your teammates once your ulti is over.

I’m happy for all those Mercy which team is not careful (or smart) enough to protect her, but they’ll always blame on her because she didn’t use her res. IMHO I think this rework is hard to get used to at first, but it makes Mercy more enjoyable overall. Hope you guys have fun!

PD: If I’m not mistaken, Mercy has new quotes for the single res and one of them is “I still need you!”. I’m not sure if my heart can take that quote playing as Pharah.

anonymous asked:

You really like Tony Stark? I know you like Bucky and Steve so why do you like Tony? He tried to kill both of them? (I am not a troll I'm just interested in your opinion)

Also can you explain why you like him? thanks!

Oh man I love Tony. Iron Man is what first got me so obsessed in the Marvel/DC superhero genre, so I treasure him a lot. Bucky is my number 1 and I like Steve too, I just happen to like Tony more. 

I think everybody in the mcu has made mistakes and made bad judgement calls but for some reason Tony is one of the characters where people feel the need to blame every single bad thing that happens on him. Worst of all he blames himself too. There have been so many characters that have made mistakes and been able to redeem themselves, some haven’t been held accountable at all, and for some reason none of the good things Tony has done outweigh his mistakes. Most of the problems arise from his desire to help people in the first place.

 At first his sarcasm and quirks where a lovable character trait and as time went by they stopped being funny and started being the result of an untreated mental illness, and people went from loving him to blaming him, because he acts out of fear and anxiety which is something other characters continuously take advantage of.

Shield takes advantage of Tony’s dependence on the Avengers, because let’s face it without Tony’s funding, his innovation and everything he does, there would be no Avengers. Not that that matters of course because nobody ever gives him credit for anything. Steve plunges into the ocean to save a city full of people and he’s hailed a hero. Tony does the nearly exact same thing and he’s taken for granted. Both heroic acts but the characters are treated vastly different. 

The entirety of the mcu rests on it’s neglect of Tony Stark and their continuous insistence on making him miserable. Without Tony’s continuous shitty treatment, they wouldn’t have any consistent storyline for the avengers. 

Tony ultimately has no support system. He has the Avengers a family which he cherishes but ultimately they don’t have time for him. (added: support such as Pepper, is one he’s for no reason in particular deprived of. It’s pretty clear that they will get back together but for Civil War he’s deprived of the most influential person in his life, for the sake of angst. Rhodey is a good friend but also has responsibilities of his own and after his injury in Civil War the focus in their relationship will be leaning towards him and his recovery [as it should]. So it’s less about how his friends fail him, but how the plot deprives him of the thing’s he cares about, mostly for no good reason. Due to this Tony is often left out of the equation and his feeling are pushed aside, in favor of the problems at hand)

Bruce is always pretty much looked after. People are wary of him, they feel sorry for him, Natasha becomes his personal nanny/LI for an entire movie. But at the end of Iron Man 3, Bruce can’t be bothered to listen to Tony talk about his feeling’s and everything that’s happened throughout the movie, and Bruce actually FALLS ASLEEP. 

[not my gifs] Full Video: X

Can we appreciate that Bruce has attempted suicide, is traumatized by his experience, feels guilty for the Hulks destruction, want’s to help people and live in peace and yet can’t be bothered to listen to a highly traumatized friend in need. A person he on many levels can relate intimately too. 

In fact it’s not that he just doesn’t pay attention, Tony is so irrelevant to him that he falls asleep. Tony’s a pretty shut off person. He cares so much that  he’s needs to close himself off so that he can function. So he only has a few people he would ever really open up too and when he finally want’s to talk to someone to be comforted, his friend falls asleep. With the excuse. “I’m not a therapist.” You don’t need to be a fucking therapist to listen to a friend in need. Tony doesn’t want to be psychoanalyzed. He want’s someone to listen, someone to care about him.  The worst thing is after he realizes Bruce is asleep and wasn’t listening, you can see the shift in his expression. He immediately closes himself off, makes a joke out of it, as if it doesn’t bother him. But it does. 

Originally posted by dailymarvel

I hate this scene because it represents pretty much everything I hate about how people treat Tony. (added: I don’t want Steve stans to go off on me here so what I mean is that this scene isn’t too terrible but it’s representative of how people think of Tony and how they treat him.) As if his accomplishment’s are worthless. As if he hasn’t struggled, faced loss, as if he isn’t one of the smartest people on the planet. They make assumptions about him. Steve should know better than anyone that it’s not the serum, or the armor that makes the man. It’s the person underneath. He himself faced people that doubted him all his life, because he wasn’t as strong, wasn’t as capable, they didn’t care about his heart. Just like in this scene where he assumes things about Tony without knowing him. Just like people did to him, in enlistment offices, in school, throughout his entire life.

Not to mention Steve is trying to start a fight here. He’s trying to put Tony down, wants to fight him. To prove that he’s better than him.

Iron Man is Tony Stark and Tony Stark is Iron Man. Iron Man couldn’t be a hero without Tony Stark, and Tony Stark needs Iron Man to be a hero. 

Basically I love Tony Stark  I want people to realize how hard he works, what he’s sacrificed, and that if you strip away the suit, what left underneath is just as brave, kind, strong and courageous.

I want people to stop treating a good man like a villain.

Callout for kgepro

past urls: osajima, naimuhinyis, internetrelationship, anthropotheism, hikikomourning, dullscissors, kokonose-haruka, alibabasalvja, kokonosez, etrangers

TLDR: Grayson is an 18 years old and has admitted to purposely manipulating a 12 year old (who will not be named), stalking that twelve year old, cheating on nearly all of his partners including his current one, and admitting to abusing someone. He openly admits to not only stalking the 12 year but also other people, calling himself a “creepy stalker.”  There is also evidence of him misgendering someone. 

tw: drugs, transphobia, stalking. 

If you have anything on Grayson that you want me to add, go here. this isn’t an anonymous callout and I’ve mentioned my name in it but do not talk to me about it on my main blog please and thank you. 

3 people want their names to be censored so I will be using the names Xander and Mio instead, as well as just [redacted] for one of them.

Keep reading

cityofaangels  asked:

Some bitter Tony vs Wanda please? Cause my God, there's not many characters I hate in the MCU but she's definitely one after CW. Hope your exams went well :)

Thank you :) Tbh I’m just hoping for the best now. This is actually Post AoU, to mix things up a little.


Bruce sighs. It’s Tony’s least favourite sigh. The one that makes him feel uncomfortably like he’s being treaded like an unruly boy–and as always that just pisses him off more.

“Tony, apologise to Wanda,” Bruce says tiredly. “Wanda, apologise to Tony.” It’s said in the tone of someone repeating the same thing over and over and over, aggravating Tony even more because nobody, not even Bruce, has the right to treat their arguments like they’re stupid. Like they’re just quarrelling children who will ultimately make there peace again.

Not that they’ve ever had peace between them in the first place.

“No.”

“Tony-” Steve starts, a telling frown marring his face, and already Tony knows exactly what he’s going to say. Could probably give you a word by word play. And today? He’s absolutely not in the mood to put up with that shit.

“No,” he interrupts, and then says it again because fuck, it feels good to say that. Feels too long since he’s last said it. He turns his attention back to Wanda, finds her watching him with the same expression of open disregard she always wears around him.

“We both know those apologies are meaningless,” Tony states. “There’s no point in indulging social niceties. You hate me, fine. You’re hardly the first. You don’t like my choices? Too fucking bad. I owe you nothing.”

Wanda bristles but Tony talks over her complaints. He’s so tired of keeping his mouth shut.

“Your brother died fighting Ultron,” he forces himself to keep the venom out of his words, out of respect for Pietro’s sacrifice if nothing else. “But I didn’t kill him. And while I admit that Ultron’s existence is my fault, you lost the right to claim reparations when you joined him and supported him in his quest.”

Tony takes a deep breath, tries to stay calm in the face of the dangerous flash in Wanda’s eyes. His heart is beating too hard for his own comfort but he’s never known when to back down before–he sure as hell isn’t gonna start now.

“I didn’t drag you into this war,” he continues. “I didn’t force you to join a terrorist cell. I didn’t tell you to volunteer to be experimented on.” Tony leans a little closer, stares her straight into the eyes. “You can blame me for Ultron. You can blame me for your parents’ death. You can blame me for the trauma you suffered as a child. But you don’t get to blame me for your choices. I may have to live with my mistakes, but I sure as hell don’t have to live with yours. So if you ever try such a cheap shot ever again, I will drag every single one of them to light and leave it to the rest of the world to decide what you do and don’t deserve.”

Tony smiles a smile teetering the edge between sweet and poisonous.

“So tell me, Miss Maximoff,” he asks deceptively soft, “just how much do you trust they’ll judge in your favour?”


….this is not at all what it was supposed to be when I started out? I’m not sure what happened? But I kinda like it so….just hope you do too…even tho it’s not really what you asked for…

Wrong Place Wrong Time (17)

I DO NOT OWN THIS GIF!
Do not reuse, edit or copy and of my work(s). ©
Part 17 of an ongoing series, enjoy :)
A fanfic for a more Mature audience due to violence and language. Read at your own risk :)

Themes=😖,🌟,💣,🎭. (☠️- Harm towards characters, Strong language and Adult themes.)

Summary: You end up in the wrong place at the wrong time and it has negative repercussions. Main characters include: Reader and EXO.

Part 1  Part 2  Part 3 Part 4  Part 5 Part 6  Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11 Part 12 Part 13 Part 14 Part 15 Part 16  Part 18  Part 19  Part 20  Part 21  Part 22  Part 23  Part 24  Part 25  Part 26  Part 27  Part 28  Part 29  Part 30  Part 31  Part 32  Part 33  Part 34 Part 35 (Final)  

Word Count: 3,951 


(Feedback/Messages are always welcome guys!😊)


You had heard two bangs followed by two cries, startling you. Yixing and Chanyeol were on the ground, blood pouring from their thighs. You panicked, ripping Chanyeol’s T-shirt off of his body and exposing his chest. You tore the shirt into two and wrapped the material around each of their wounds in an attempt to stop the bleeding. You needed help and fast, if someone didn’t find you soon they would most certainly bleed to death. Your mind was racing and your heart was banging in your chest, you felt as though you were having some type respiratory malfunction as breathing was proving to be almost impossible. Jongin stood at the other end of the section, beside a crate; you were crouched down on the floor next to an Injured Yixing and an Injured Chanyeol. All you could focus on was the gun that was spinning in Jongin’s hand. You’d all be dead in a matter of moments; you had no arms to protect yourself. How didn’t anybody realise who the mole was; the traitor in your squadron all along.

He was leaking information all this time.

He was the Tell-Tale.

It was Jongin.

You stared up at him, eyes widening in fear, he had his gun pointed straight at you. You had allowed yourself to believe that Jongin was a lovely and warm man who cared for you and had feelings for you, contrary to Yixing’s warnings, but boy were you wrong. You stared directly into his eyes and took a breath. What seemed to be the longest breath that you had ever taken in your life, and held it, you weren’t sure you were ready to die but at this point in time the power was not in your hands. Jongin smirked at you lowering his gun and removing a can of red spray paint from his holster, painting two red crosses on Chanyeol’s chest, he threw the can towards you and ran behind the crate disappearing altogether. You blinked hard, you were still alive. You let out the breath you were holding and began to cry hysterically, the shock of it all hitting you at once.

“Y/N, find help. Please.” Chanyeol groaned, you noticed they were both pale now, their trousers and the ripped shirt material soaked with their blood. You nodded vigorously and stood up in search for one of the others.

“Suho! Xiumin! Someone help me! Please!”



With two men down you had to fall back, there weren’t enough of you to win this battle. You sat in the van crying manically. The thought that you would never see Yixing again after you guys ended on a bad note, or never see Chanyeol again. Your best friend.

“Y/N you’re going to need to calm down.” Kyungsoo said, staring at you.

“Don’t fucking tell me to calm down!” You screamed, spraying saliva across the van. You were in a frenzied state and couldn’t calm yourself down. “We need to get them to a hospital.” You panicked, your eyes darting between Yixing and Chanyeol who were slowly beginning to look like corpses, their lives literally draining before your eyes.

“We can’t do that Y/N, have you forgotten who we are?” Minseok was rubbing your back. All you wanted to do was hold his hand right now, but you were too shaken to even successfully do that.

“No we can’t but I know who we can bring home. My brother.” Kyungsoo said, looking gravely at the two dying men lying on the floor at the back of the van.
“He’s a surgeon; he works in the hospital that Chanyeol’s dad used to work in before Genesis, we’ll have to make a detour.”

“But he doesn’t know who we are Soo, are you sure this is a good idea.” Sehun sat forward looking from Kyungsoo to Chanyeol and Yixing.

“No, but it’s our only option, Baekhyun can’t deal with this is alone, by the time he’s done with one of them the other will be dead.” He gave his family address to Junmyeon who was in the driver seat.

“Are you sure Kyungsoo?” Junmyeon asked looking at him through the rear view mirror.

“No. But we don’t have a choice.” He sighed, looking at the two corpse-like bodies. Junmyeon nodded swerving the van, knocking over a trash can. You kept your hands compressed on Yixing’s and Chanyeol’s thighs, trying anything you could to keep them alive, neither of them were moving now and it was scaring you beyond belief.

“Oh God! Please don’t die on me!” You began crying again, Minseok was rubbing his hand on your shoulder.

“This is all your fault.” Kyungsoo hissed, tears in his eyes, pointing at Minseok. “You had us ambushed didn’t you?! Tell me why I shouldn’t shoot a bullet through your brain right now. After everything we’ve all been through together.”

Minseok looked up at Kyungsoo, his face was expressionless.

“If you really think this was my doing then you’re really crazy.”

Sehun shifted in his seat, looking around the van “Minseok I don’t understand why, I thought I knew you better than this.”

“I thought you knew me better than this too.” Minseok frowned at Sehun.

You had enough of the bickering and arguing now, your best friend was dying and all they could do was pick a fight with the wrong person.

“It wasn’t fucking Minseok!” You screamed, shooting Sehun with a fierce look. “You’re all out here blaming the wrong person, meanwhile you’ve failed to realise that one of us is missing.”

They all frowned, Suho still speeding down dark streets, breaking every single road law out there.
Spinning his head around Sehun gasped in realisation. “Shit guys, we left Jongin behind! Fuck, we have to go back for him.”

“We can’t now; these two are almost dead we need to get to Kyungsoo’s brother.” Minseok said helping you to add more pressure to the gunshot wounds.

“No we’re not going back for Jongin; he can stay there and die. He deserves to waste away in a fucking crate full of Jay Lee’s toxic substances. Do you want to know why? Jongin did this. Jongin was the one who shot them. You see that?” You pointed to the two red crosses on Chanyeol’s chest. “’Kai’ did that. He’s the fucking Tell-Tale.” You screamed, your lungs felt as though they were going to burst, you felt your shoulders violently shaking again, but tried your hardest not to break down, this wasn’t the right time.
“Please Chanyeol, you have to make this. Please.” You whispered. “Yixing you too.”

The van was quiet; you were assuming everyone was taking a moment to process what you had just said. You were still in shock yourself, you couldn’t get the image of Jongin out of your head, you thought he was going to kill the man that was holding the gun up at you, but no, you were so wrong, instead he gave him a quick discrete nod, the man ran away from your section leaving you momentarily dazed, but before you had a chance to process what had just happened, Jongin was shooting both Yixing and Chanyeol, but why didn’t he shoot you too, you were obviously going to go back and tell the others what you had discovered.

“What… What did you just say?” Minseok’s breath was shaky looking at you through disbelieving eyes, waiting for you to say that you were only joking, but unfortunately you weren’t.

“Jongin was the mole all along. It explains how the letter got in the house; he probably just dropped it on the floor when nobody was watching. He probably planted the red spray paint in your cupboard too and planned the whole sugar incident.”

“No, it doesn’t make sense, how could he have planned all of this stuff we never let him out of our sight. Did he have an accomplice?” Minseok shook his head.

“I don’t know, but I remember him telling me that every midnight he’d go for a jog or something to get the stress out of his system, I guess that’s when he did whatever he had to do.” You shook your head, how had you been so easily fooled.

“Why didn’t you tell us?”

“I didn’t know he was a fucking traitor Minseok, this isn’t my fault! You’re only saying this because you’re blinded by hindsight bias. How was I to know that that would be relevant information at the time? Besides I’m sure there are other places that people visit that they’d like to keep secrets from anyone else, so I didn’t say anything due to privacy.” You gave him a knowing look; you knew where he went now so he couldn’t really say anything. He lowered his head. “Look can we discuss this later and just get to Kyungsoo’s house please!” Junmyeon nodded; driving faster now then he had been before.


You were all waiting impatiently for Kyungsoo who was standing at his front door, there were lights on so somebody was home, they were taking forever to answer, it seemed like forever, every second was crucial for you. Slowly the door opened up revealing a short woman. She was middle aged but looked withered, her hair had many grey strands in it and she had bags under her eyes. You all pressed your foreheads against the van windows listening intently to what was going on outside.

“Mama…”Kyungsoo breathed, almost inaudibly if you weren’t mistaken you were sure you could hear Kyungsoo’s voice catch in his throat, as if he was about to cry.

“Oh my God…Oh my God! Kyungsoo it’s you, Oh my God!” Tears were spilling down her face, as she pulled him into a hug. “My baby! I didn’t know whether you were alive. Kyungsoo where have you been, please just come back home. I can’t sleep knowing you’re not safe, it’s been 6 years, don’t you think you’ve tortured us enough.”

“Mama I’m sorry…But I don’t have time I need to see Babu, where is he?”

“Babu?” You whispered knitting your brows together.

“Yes. His brother. It’s not his real name though; it’s just a family pet name.” Junmyeon answered, pressing his header closer to the window and putting a finger up to his lips.

“Come inside my baby, it’s cold out here.” His mother said grabbing his arm and pulling him closer to the door, but he slipped it out of her grip just as quickly.

“Mama…I don’t have time, I need Babu, where is he?” He cleared his throat, but his voice was little and you could still sense he was trying to refrain from crying.

“Why what’s happening, have you gotten yourself into trouble? Kyungsoo, what’s happening with you? Ever since your father died you –”

“Babu!” Kyungsoo called from outside of the house, cutting off his mother completely.

“Shh, Or you’ll wake Rina.”

“Who?”

“Your niece Kyungsoo, you have a niece.” His mother’s eyes wondered up and down his body. She must have been terrified he looked a mess, scratches on his body, he looked rough and there were scraps of blood here and there. Suddenly a taller man appeared in the door frame; he was wearing a suit and looked well groomed.

“Mama, what’s all this noise? Have you not seen the time? Rina is…” He broke off when he realised Kyungsoo standing in front of him. His eyes widened in shock and then a frown descended upon his face.

“Wow, well would you take a look at what the Cat dragged in.”He crossed his hands over his chest letting out a deep grunt. “So you’ve decided to finally come home after six years of God knows what. Drugs I presume? Did you get bored Soo? You’re not welcome here, do you know how much shit you’ve put this family through.”

“Babu, stop it,he’s back now that’s all that matters.” Kyungsoo’s mother put her hand over his brother’s shoulder, but he shrugged it off violently.

“No Mama! He’s put us through so much, all those sleepness nights, all that worrying! And he rocks up here after six years. We had to grieve two losses. Dad’s and Kyungsoo’s and now he thinks it’s okay to just rock up here like nothing ever happened. What do you want money? Are you in trouble? Because we’re not going to fucking help you out Kyungsoo! You’re dead to this fucking family, do you understand me!?”

His mum began crying uncontrollably, hanging onto Kyungsoo’s arm. “Babu don’t say that. Don’t say that to my little boy. He’ll always be your brother. Your father would hate this.”

“He means nothing to me. Honestly you and dad should never have gone through the trouble of having another. I don’t know where you suddenly resurfaced from Kyungsoo, but you better crawl back under that rock, you’re not welcome at this house. You’ll never see Rina, you’re not worthy of being an uncle to her, you won’t even exist in her world.”

Kyungsoo stood there silently for a moment, his back was facing you so you couldn’t tell if he was crying or not.

“They’re taking too long!” You hissed. “Chanyeol and Yixing will die!” Things needed to be sped up.

“Babu I need your help…” Kyungsoo breathed

“I told you I’m not fucking helping you Kyungsoo. And don’t you ever call me Babu again, you lost your right to say that six years ago.”

That’s it, you thought to yourself, this was taking too long you had to do something to speed this up otherwise Chanyeol and Yixing definitely wouldn’t stand a chance. You stood up from your seat taking your trousers off, causing the others to gasp in surprise.
“Give me your jacket!” You motioned towards Sehun with your hand.

“What? Why?”

“Just give it to me!” You hissed. He took it off throwing it towards you. You wrapped it into a ball and tucked it under the jacket you were wearing and wiped the blood that was on your hands in between your legs and on your thighs.

“What the fuck are you doing?” Junmyeon whispered in shock, you could just about hear him.

“I’m currently in the process of saving Chanyeol and Yixing. Thank me later!” You hissed, jumping down from the van. You were about to put on as good a performance as you did at the Hotel launch, or better. You limped towards where Kyungsoo was stood with his estranged family, clutching on to your puffed out stomach. It didn’t take much for you to cry, just thinking of Chanyeol and Yixing set you off.

“Babe, you said you were getting some help.” You cried powerlessly, holding onto Kyungsoo’s arm with your free hand. “I don’t know how much more I can wait, I don’t know if the baby will survive. Kyungsoo do something.” You cried against his shoulder feigning physical and emotional agony. Kyungsoo stood there motionless and dazed for a second or two, but then pulled himself together when he realised you were trying to speed up the situation.

“Kyungsoo…wh-who is this?” His mother stuttered, looking you up and down in complete and utter shock.

“It’s my fiancée, we were in a car accident and the impact…the baby. Babu I didn’t know what to do, I panicked and came here first please help us.” Kyungsoo placed a hand over your stomach looking up helplessly at his older brother. His brother’s eyes widened with horror now looking down at the blood on your legs. He nodded quickly stepping aside from the door.

“Come inside quickly!”

“No.” You said more abruptly than intended. “I’d feel more comfortable in the van.” You began to limp over back to the van parked on the roadside.

“Quickly Babu! Please!” Kyungsoo called to his brother as he ran into the car behind you.

Seconds later Kyungsoo’s brother was in the van. Junmyeon locked all the doors and sped off back to the house. You removed the scrunched up jacket from under yours and threw it back to Sehun, taking your place next to Minseok again and helping to apply pressure to Yixing and Chanyeol’s bullet wounds.

“What the fuck is this?! What the fuck is going on?!” Kyungsoo’s brother shouted looking around the van frantically, realising you were simulating your pregnancy.

“Babu we need your help, please!” tears were falling from Kyungsoo’s eyes now, he was staring intensely at his brother.

“No Kyungsoo! What you need is God! What is going on here.” He looked around again. “Do Kyungsoo, what the fuck have you gotten yourself into.” His brother said losing his breath at the sight before him.

“I can’t tell you Babu. It’s better for everyone if you don’t know. But we need your help. We can’t take them to a hospital.” He pointed down at Chanyeol and Yixing. “But they’re dying so please Babu.”

“For Christ’s sake Kyungsoo, what have you done? What is go—Oh my God!” His eyes were wider now than they had been before, looking closer at the two injured men. “Is that?…”

“Mr Park’s son. Yes.” 

Kyungsoo’s brother gulped at the sight of his ex-colleagues son dying before him on the floor. “So please Babu you have to help, not for me but for Chanyeol. For Mr. Park.”

 


All of you were sitting patiently in the board waiting and waiting. Kyungsoo’s brother and Baekhyun had been at it for hours and you found in those hours, your tears didn’t cease to spill down your cheeks. You didn’t know what you were shaken at more; Jongin, or the fact that the other two may not make it. Junmyeon had told Jongdae about Jongin, but you didn’t say any more because you were in no frame of mind to speak. You were breathing heavily, your chest heaving up and down at an irregular pace, anger rising in your body. You were so mad that you hadn’t recognised you were grunting whilst breathing.

“Y/N. Calm down, you need to calm down.” Minseok put his arm on your shoulder, but you pushed it off immediately.

“Calm down? How can I calm down? Minseok I’m so angry, I’m so fucking angry. That stupid bastard Jongin!” You stood up pushing your chair backwards and running out of the board. You found yourself inside Jongin’s room, anger had consumed you whole. You were livid, absolutely fuming. You found yourself trashing his room, pulling his bed sheets off the bed, ripping clothes out of his wardrobe and kicking the wardrobe down. Crashing the desk onto the floor. You never knew it was possible to loathe someone as much as you did now, but it was hitting you like a tonne of bricks. You tugged at your hair letting out a spine chilling scream. This was too much for you, you couldn’t deal with this. It was too much. You began clawing at Jongin’s pillows, feathers flying about everywhere.
The sun was rising now, they had been operating for so long, there was no way they’d make it. You began clawing at Jongin’s walls, the stupid bastard. He had this all planned out, he buttered you up so you would never suspect it was him. The tips of your fingers were bleeding now, but you couldn’t stop yourself. Jongin had pushed you over the edge, you had turned into a mad woman.

“Y/N stop! Stop it!” You were being dragged back away from the wall by Minseok. “They’re done Y/N, they’re going to be okay.”

Suddenly you lost all sensation in your legs and fell to the floor, a wave of emotions taking over you, You were crying uncontrollably, they were going to be okay. They were going to live. You were gasping for air between your loud sobs. Minseok crouched down beside you, using his sleeve to wipe tears away from your eyes.
“I don’t know what’s gotten into me, being all caring lately. This is not good for my image.” He sighed. “But Y/N they’re going to be okay, so you need to relax now okay.” He pulled you into a hug and began rubbing your back. “Let’s go and see them okay. They won’t be awake, but it’s enough to know they’re alive, hmm?” You nodded your head allowing Minseok to drag you to the Op room in the basement.

“Thank you so much Babu” Kyungsoo breathed, his eyes were red. He walked up to his brother to embrace him in a hug, but he was met with a hard shove, falling backwards into Jongdae.

“Get the fuck away from me…” His brother breathed backing away from the everyone, closer to the metal door. “I don’t know who the fuck you all are, but this is sick. Somebody take me home, now.”
Kyungsoo looked so defeated; his eyes looked lifeless, even more so than on the day that Jongdae was injured.

“Babu, you can’t tell anyone about this.”

“Why the fuck not. This is an underground operation, you’re all scum you deserve to be rotting away in a cell. And here I was thinking it was just drugs. If only.” He scoffed disbelievingly at Kyungsoo. “You always were the worse child. The authorities deserve to know about this.”

“I hate to do this, but we know where you live. You, your mum. Rina.” Minseok raised an eyebrow. Here he was, the cold-hearted man you had first been introduced to, making a quick reappearance, and it was scary how quickly Minseok could change.

“Are you trying to threaten me?” Kyungsoo’s brother asked, frowning at Minseok.

“I don’t know. Would you like to take a chance and find out?” Minseok answered him rhetorically, putting him in his place. Kyungsoo’s brother silently shook his head, allowing himself to be escorted out of the room by Sehun. After you were sure he was away from earshot, Junmyeon finally began to release his pent-up anger.

“Jongin! That fucking bastard, after we took him in. We were a family! And he was working for them all along! He tried to fucking kill my boys, to get rid of them! Is he fucking crazy, I’ll fucking kill him with my own two hands!” Junmyeon shouted, his face red and consumed with rage, his body was shaking and his breathing was heavy. Baekhyun rubbed his back trying to calm him down but it wasn’t helping.

You frowned looking at Chanyeol and Yixing on the bed again, and only just really began to notice that Jongin had shot them in the thigh. You shook your head. “No…” You whispered.

“No what!?” Junmyeon screamed at you “Are you fucking defending that traitor you bitch!”

“No.” You shook your head again “Look.” You said pointing at Chanyeol’s and Yixing’s thighs.

“Yes I am fully fucking aware that he tried shooting them dead!” He stormed over to your direction, but Kyungsoo pulled him back.

“Are you crazy Y/N? Are you intentionally trying to piss him off?” Kyungsoo spat at you, trying to pull Junmyeon away to the opposite side of the room from you.

“No!” You squeezed your eyes shut tight, desperate for someone to just listen to you. “Look, he shot their thighs!”

“Yes we know that Y/N” Baekhyun said starting to get irritated himself. But then Minseok turned to you and nodded slowly.
“Oh.” He said pointing at their thighs “You’re right.”

“What!?” Baekhyun half-shouted “You’re confusing me, I don’t understand.”

“There’s something more to this. Don’t you see?” You continued, but only received blank stares from the other men. You sighed, rolling your eyes. “This is Jongin we’re talking about.” You walked up to Chanyeol placing your hand softly next to the gunshot wound on his thigh. “When we were on the way to pick up Kyungsoo’s brother I was wondering to myself why Jongin didn’t shoot me too. Why did he just leave me there when I was obviously going to come back and tell you guys everything that happened. But what bugs me the most is the fact that Jongin was out to kill them, but unfortunately for him he only managed to shoot their thighs, then it dawned on me suddenly.” You looked up to face Baekhyun.


“Jongin never misses.”

Say It (4/8)

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 5

Pairing:  Bucky Barnes x Reader

Words: 3.659

Summary: Y/N loved Bucky unconditionally, enough to sacrifice your life for his happiness, now Bucky tries to save yours.  

Warning: Angst (please don’t kill me!)

A/N: I’m so sorry for all this angst I’m giving you guys, please hang in there, I promise it will get better, this is probably the last chapter with this kind of angst! I love you all, please remember that and if you wanna scream at me, my ask box is open. I love you all *bats eyelashes so you don’t kill me*.


He couldn’t shake it.

No matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t shake the bone-chilling hatred when you had spoken his name. You had said many words after that, but they had fallen deaf to his ears as all he could focus on was the way you were murdering him with his eyes, your voice like knives slicing into the deepest depths of his heart. Steve had been quick to grab his arm and drag him out of the room; Bucky hadn’t been able to tear his eyes from you even though you were screaming murder at him. Your voice was so deep, dark, and cold; Bucky understood why it had scared you when you were a child.

Bucky looked at the screen that showed you in your cell. You were sitting against the wall again, only looking at Wanda who was talking to you. You didn’t answer her. Bucky wanted nothing more than to walk in there again, but Steve had prohibited him from doing that. Which was why he was sitting in the control room looking at you on the big screens. When you had seen Bucky, your anger had risen a tenfold out of the blue, a swing of your fist against the glass wall had caused it to shake, which had shocked both Wanda and Steve. The main reason they didn’t want Bucky in the same room, was for Bucky’s safety and he found it ridiculous.

Keep reading

Spencer Reid / Countless

As requested by @ohbelieveyoume

Prompt: “I just can’t stop thinking about you…I can’t”

Omg, I feel guilty after writing this fic guys. I apologize for the angst I’m laying upon you today. This poor sweet boy deserves happiness. He’s been through so much T.T.. This was supposed to be cute, but it ended up this way, I don’t know what happened. Also thank you to @mrsrafaelbarba for the help! <3 I hope you all enjoy!! 

Originally posted by hisirishsoufflegirl

Keep reading

Abusive - Request

Requested by @thestrawberryblondehobbitbatch​:  Hi. I was wondering if you’d do a Sherlock x reader are married. They are out on a date when the readers abusive ex boyfriend turns up while Sherlocks popped to the gents.

Summary: In an attempt to escape from reporters, Sherlock and (Y/N) end uo at a very dark restaurant. He excuses himself and leaves her alone for a few minutes without knowing that her abusive ex-boyfriend was a waiter there.

Pairing: Sherlock x reader.

Warnings: Abusive ex-boyfriend, is there really anything else to say?

Word count: 1,789

A/N: Don’t know if the ex is too much of an insane man… I have been reading “It” and, however’s read it knows why, that is the reason I wrote him like this. Also, as someone who’s seen abuse from up close, I beg of you guys, if you’re in an abusive relationship or know someone who is DO NOT stay quiet, you’ve got to talk and get help. Please. This is just fiction, there won’t be a Sherlock Holmes to rescue us, or even so an easy way to escape on your own. So please, do get informed and get help. I repeat, this is fiction.

Enjoy!

Originally posted by silentauroriamthereal

The little restaurant was full. Every single table had been taken by either a couple or a family, and they were all chatting like they hadn’t seen each other in ages. The waiters were walking quickly to deliver the orders to the correct table, and the cooks were struggling to get every plate on time. The musicians were full of different songs – some songs were completely unknown to them – and the person in charge of the entrance was trying with all her might to calm every one down.

“It’s unbelievable how many people want to come into this place.” Sherlock observed. Of course, he had noticed everything.

“They don’t…”

“I know.” He interrupted his wife, “Half of them are reporters, the other half are fans.”

“You’re such a celebrity.” She joked. Sherlock smirked proudly, a few crinkles framing his blue eyes.

“You know what to order?” He asked.

“No… The menu is quite limited.” The mischievous smile that formed on his lips made it clear that he didn’t want to stay at that crowded place. “Where?”

“There’s another one, down the block, closer from home.” He whispered, leaning closer to give a stronger sense of privacy. “We can sneak through the back door, fool those paparazzi.”

“The things I do for you.” She sighed and then both of them followed Sherlock’s mind plan.

The back of the restaurant was dark and it smelled like fish, but it had a direct access to the opposite street, which was free of people. Sherlock and (Y/N) ran all the way to the other restaurant Sherlock had in mind. Hiding in the shadows, letting out breathy giggles and, most importantly, enjoying each other’s company.

Said restaurant was empty, and the dim lights worked perfectly as a cover up. No one could see the other’s faces unless they were at the same table or a waiter used to such lack of light.

The food of course wasn’t as good as the one from the last restaurant. It had a rather artificial flavour instead of the homely one Sherlock adored, but even so just being able to spend a night off with her was enough.

Two whole hours went by and they were about to leave. Sherlock popped to the gents while (Y/N) waited at the table, munching at a mint they had given them along with their change after paying the check.

She had felt like someone stared at her ever since she and Sherlock entered the restaurant. But she was so used to being followed either by reporters, Mycroft’s spies or Moriarty’s spies it could really be anyone. And she wasn’t doing anything bad, so she wasn’t worried to be caught on camera.

-

He had stared at her for those two hours. That slut. Giggling like an idiot, playing with her hair, caressing his palm… Of course she was doing it, he was a famous detective – a genius even – who led him to the next question: How come he hadn’t noticed yet what kind of whore she truly was?

He then left her alone. Alone in that dark place, vulnerable. The anger he had felt, locked inside him for ages, was now rising from the flames of his own inner Hell. His knuckles hurt, ached to feel her soft skin break over them, wanting to get splattered with her blood once more.

The mere thought of her pretty face covered in bruises excited him, making tingles appear all over his body in anticipation. The place was dark, he only needed to drag her a bit further away from her table, and so she wouldn’t know what hit her – literally.

He walked slowly towards her; like a predator haunting its prey before attacking. Observing her every move, her naïve expression, her… Her red lips. Those lips that made him lose control, in the exact tone that got his fury to unleash. She loved that colour that shade, it truly reflected her inner self: A whore.

He slid at the opposite side of the table, with his dark eyes glued to her who was distracted getting something from her bag.

“Have you seen my…?” She lifted her gaze, and the pure sight of the man who still gave her nightmares made her freeze. She was frightened to death.

Her blood started running faster, her lungs were lacking of enough air to contain her anxiety. Her heart skipped beats and then recovered them in a few seconds, which caused an inconsistent beating. Her hands, armpits and forehead started sweating, and her knees tingled, begging her to run. The ghosts of the past impacts invaded her mind, and all she could feel was the many bruises that were now long gone but used to belong on her face and arms. Her lower ribs and legs burned, remembering all those kicks and mislead punches they had received. Her lips went dry, and not even the lipstick could get them to hold them from breaking. She wanted to scream, but there was a knot on her throat avoiding a single sound to come out of her. Her flawless skin turned so pale anyone would’ve swore she was a ghost and her eyes hurt. She hadn’t blinked, she couldn’t, scared that he would use those seconds of blindness to harm her.

“You remember me.” He said as a wicked smile grew on his face. That smile, that cursed omen that warned her about the upcoming violence. It was there, right in front of her, directed to her once again.

“Please go away.” She begged in a whisper so low he could barely hear it.

He tisked his tongue and leaned closer. “I can’t leave, slut.” He whispered back, although his voice was audible, “I work here.”

(Y/N) tried to get up from the table, but he just slammed his fist once over the wooden surface and her instincts made her sit back. She hadn’t forgotten his rules.

“Who’s that man?” He asked, and (Y/N) knew who he was referring to.

“Don’t you watch the telly?” She inquired, trying to be brave like that time she escaped. He hissed back, showing all of his teeth.

“Sherlock Holmes, of course I know. What I mean is who is that man to you?” (Y/N) froze, hiding both of her hands under the table. Wanting to keep the diamond ring out of his sight.

“Her husband.” A third voice stated from behind him. Sherlock stepped closer, making the dim light shine over his face. “Who are you?”

He got up and tried to stand up in an authoritarian pose. Of course, Sherlock was taller, but even so he had the face of a maniac and that was pretty intimidating.

“Let me guess,” Sherlock smiled triumphant, “that poor bastard that… Yeah, of course.” The detective didn’t want to say it out loud, knowing exactly how she felt about it. “Think you can get her back to the cave of horrors?” A cruel chuckle left his plump lips, “C’mon, we both know you prefer to be the one beating rather than being the one beaten. So don’t make me bring you back to those summer days when mommy would hit you with a hot metal bar.”

“You think you’re smart?” He fumed. Of course mommy had hit him with a hot metal bar as a child, right on the palms of his hands – he still had the scars – but how could Sherlock know? Not even (Y/N) knew it.

“Smarter than you, yes.” Sherlock replied, “Isn’t that why daddy would punch you. For the low grades and the lack of brains… You think that reflecting that on (Y/N) or really any other woman will help you deal with your anxiety?” Sherlock shook his head, “Nothing will help unless you stop chugging on so much coffee… Although, I can’t really blame you because I wouldn’t want to have the nightmares you have.”

“Don’t make me hit you.” The lunatic warned and Sherlock couldn’t express his thoughts with anything other than a sarcastic laughter.

“You? Hit me?” He huffed, “I’ve dealt with Egyptian murderers and killed each and every single one of them with just one sword… My life’s been threatened more than once and I’ve defended myself. I fought the Golem and so many other criminals that are far better than you. Do you honestly think you scare me?” His voice had gotten lower and faster with each word. He had also leaned closer to the man threatening (Y/N) so that they were at eye level. “Don’t play with me, boy, unless you want to get burned.”

The man pushed him back. Trying to remember how the kids at school would beat him up before he learned how to defend himself – or rather mimic them and use said moves against them – and dodging Sherlock’s attempts to hit him. Although, of course, Sherlock was just distracting him.

It only took four punches. One under the ribs, another one at the back of the neck, the other at the back under his lungs, and the last one directed to the throat. Sherlock punched him in said order so fast nobody actually saw it, however, in just five seconds (Y/N)’s ex was on the floor, finding his will to breathe.

“I can’t believe you dated this pig.” Sherlock complained, “Thank God you changed your mind and ended up with me… Everything all right?”

(Y/N) nodded. “Please, Sher… Let’s just leave.”

“Just one moment.” Sherlock kneeled down to the floor to meet face to face again with the man. “You better disappear, because if I see you again I’ll make sure you never see the light of day again.”

“Sher.” (Y/N) begged, completely oblivious to what his boyfriend was whispering into her ex’s ear.

Sherlock stood back up and took his time to put on his coat and scarf before leaving. Of course, he made sure to step on the man’s stomach on his way out. Nobody touched his girl, less to say, nobody threatened her without Sherlock doing something about it. Everybody knew it, and those who ignored it… Bad things would happen. It was just his way of taking care of the one person that made him feel a lot more than friendship, the one to truly make him feel human rather than an uncomprehended genius. And God knows, Sherlock wouldn’t be able to live without her.

“The things I do for you.” Sherlock repeated her words as they walked out. (Y/N), who was still a nervous wreck, replied with a shy smile and a peck on his cheek. And so they walked through the cold streets of London, back to their tiny flat at 221B Baker Street, where no one would bother them - except for John, maybe.


*Requests are ALWAYS open.*