and i am the worst general ever

So I have this really awful Klance AU that I’ve created where Voltron is actually a travelling circus and Lance is a tightrope walker and an acrobat… Basically the story follows immediately after Lance loses all of his self-confidence from dropping his trapeze partner during a show–so he ultimately ends up deciding to switch partners. I started writing it like a week before Season 4 came out–(which was literally the weirdest thing ever because Acrobat Lance is basically cannon now)–but I don’t know if I actually plan on uploading it because I am THE WORST writer ever. Anyway, here’s a little excerpt from it to sort of demonstrate the idea. (453 words)

               Despite the tent being filled with several hundred people, not a single word was uttered as the solitary figure stepped out into the staggering spotlight. His shoulders burdened by the heavy weight of an aluminium rod, he humbly approached the platform sporting bare feet and a suit of blue sequins.

               With a dazzling wave aimed in the general direction of the crowd, the boy flashed grin before relaxing his muscles and allowing his eyelids to flutter closed. Somewhere, a cacophony of strings and brass began to play. He edged closer to the tightrope, taking a breath as the audience held theirs.

And then, he walked.

Slowly at first, as if testing the line. Untrusting. Uncertain. He prodded it with the edge of his foot until apparently deciding that it was stable enough to trek. Then, as the wire gave way under his mass, his confidence blossomed in tandem with haste. He took on a rhythm so seamless that it resembled dance, attacking the line with a bewilderingly calm ferocity.

Nothing but awe could be felt in the room as the boy clad in blue silently crossed from one podium to the other. To all who watched, it appeared as though he were an ocean separated from the sea. The rod across his shoulders bobbing with his every movement was merely a buoy over cresting waves, the browned soles of his feet the sand beneath a salted brine.

One might have even argued that despite his brilliance, he somehow looked impossibly lonesome, like all the walking in the world would never bring him back to his other half. As if on cue, the music slowly claimed a more sorrowful tone—the cello whining deeper as the violin screeched higher, like they were calling for each other but just unable to reach.

Like they didn’t really belong.

No one dared blink as the tightrope walker effortlessly braved the last few steps of line, the background music droning to a gradual halt as his feet met the platform. Without a word, he set down the metal shaft and modestly bowed before the audience.

The room erupted into earth-shaking applause, though the boy never once raised his eyes to the gracious crowd. Instead, as the cheering began to waver, he softly backed toward the edge of his stage and dived off the platform, vanishing completely into the black depths below.

So quickly, the show was over.

But this story had just begun.

For somewhere in the audience, a certain knife-thrower had watched in silent admiration, eyes and mouth agape at the performance he had just witnessed. He bit down on his lip before silently disappearing to the exit, unnoticed by anyone else in the room.

BOY MEETS WORLD SENTENCE STARTERS

“So I said to myself, ‘Kyle’ … that’s what I call myself.”
“I wasn’t sure this day would ever come, but you were.”
“I wasn’t sure love could survive everything we put it through, but you were.”
“You were always strong and always sure.”
“Now I know I want you to stand beside me for the rest of my life. That’s what I’m sure of.”
“The only thing that ever made sense to me was you, and how I felt about you.”
“It’s hard to imagine you as a boy.”
“Hmm, double d’s, just like your grades.”
“If my dolly’s cold, can I put her in the toaster oven?”
“I just thought we were having plastic for dinner.”
“I have a question that I’m going to need a yes or no answer to. How many people get into Yale each year?”
“I don’t wanna be empty inside any more.”
“I have never seen you screw up on anything. I’m the screw-up, remember? “
“I don’t do alone real good.”
“I don’t sweat, I glisten.”
“It was raining… you had an umbrella… I grabbed it, stuffed it down your throat, and then I opened it. I Mary Poppinsed ya.”
“Now there’s only two people horribly dead here, that’s an acceptable loss.”
“Duckies are good, cuz not only do they give you that non-threatening sense of security, but you can feed ‘em crackers and you can ride 'em.”
“Duckies are the horsies of the ocean.”
“I’m a kid. I don’t understand the emotional content of Full House.”
“My grades aren’t good enough to get me into college?”
“Your grades, my friend, aren’t good enough to get you a Slurpee.”
“You do your thing and I do my thing. You are you and I am I. And, if, in the end, we end up together, it’s beautiful.”
“She got sick and said that chicken soup would help her feel better. I told her it probably would. Then I went bowling.”
“I’ve come to a conclusion: Men are idiots.”
“It was one of those nights. You know the kind. Like day, but darker.”
“When did this school get a library?” 
“Everyday is a new adventure isn’t it?”
“Boy you are disgrace to this community, this country, and humanity in general!”
“The worst thing that ever happened when we were kids was that your Pop-Tart fell on the ground.”
“She goes away for the summer and comes back a woman.”
“Would you be my girlfriend?”
“ If I was only going to be alive for one more minute, I’d spend it looking in your eyes.”
“If you were only going to be alive for one more minute, I’d tell you to stop lookin’… and start kissin’.”
“I believe in love like I believe in God: you can’t touch it, you can’t see it, but you can feel its wrath.”
“Why does everything have to haunt us for the rest of our lives?”
“Book 'em, good-lookin’.”
“Life’s tough, get a helmet.”
“Is this stuff supposed to be burning?”
“I’m no rocket scientologist.”
“I think it’s the opposite of funny. I think it’s… wood.”
“Look at me, I’m breakin’ the law.”
“I never asked to be the man in this relationship.”
“With this outfit and this hair? Hello, buh-bye, I am SO at the mall.”
“I have you. I have you by your ovaries.”
“I just want to have my picture taken, so I can send it to my grandma so she sends me a check.”
“Hey, be careful. Not that I care.”
“Love is the most rare and precious thing in the whole world.”
“I married a moose.”
“I’m a damsel, but not the distressed kind – one who’s totally calm and in complete control of her own destiny.”
“If stupidity were in the Olympics, you’d win a Nobel Prize.”
“It’s against the Geneva Detention Convention.”
“How come last night you kept me waiting for 20 minutes outside your house?”
“How come you parked outside my house, honked the horn, and didn’t come in?”
“I’m sorry I disrupted the class and killed everyone.”
“I have got something incredible to tell you. But for security reasons, I am going to use our code.”
“There’s no such thing as good news until I’ve had my Grape Nuts.”
“We’re gonna have a child? Wait, we’ve only kissed. I mean, I knew I was a good kisser, but wow.”
“How do you accidentally kiss someone? Did she slip on a rug, and your lips broke her fall?”
“I walk alone in this world… Alone I walk… Except for the grilled cheese sandwich in my pocket.”
“I told her I was training for the Olympic decathlon.”
“A girl wrote seven numbers on my hand. What could this possibly mean?”
“You have a very large head. I don’t know why I married you.”
“That was then, this is… not then.”
“Chickens in the hallway. Chickens in the hallway. Somebody must have let 'em loose as the official senior prank. Look at 'em. Look at 'em. Oh, look at the chickens. Oh my gosh, this is crazy. I wonder which crazy senior though this up, huh? This is nuts.”
“Wait a second, the killer’s dead. We’re off the hook.”
“I think that he knows we’re too old for detention to scare us like it did when we were little kids right, so he’s turned this school into a total chamber of horrors.”
“There’s blood on the black board. I don’t think it’s because he ran out of chalk!”
“I’m real screwed up.”
“We’re supposed to see other people..” 
“I’m supposed to see other people, you’re supposed to wait until I die.”
“How do we really know the light bulb goes off when you close the refrigerator?”
“I don’t want to have feelings for another girl.”
“It’s great to be so in touch with my feminine side.”
“I’m gonna get in touch with her feminine side.”
“I think you’re beautiful on the inside.”
“Do you know why a husband talks to his wife before doing something? So she can tell him what a stupid idea it is.”
“Something bad happened, but for the very first time you’re not responsible.”
“When one mocks someone, one should wait until they’re not looking right at them.”
“Who carries these things around? What did you do, dig up your grandfather and pick his pocket?”
“So, do you know what the best part of being a virgin is?”
“I’ve seen you in gym class. Wear pants.”
“Why can’t geography be like history? We always win World War Two, Lincoln always gets shot…”
“There are co-ed bathrooms. Girls shower in there, NAKED!”
“You gave me bad advise in a dream!”
“I am not responsible for dream me!”
“It’s like we share the same brain.”
“That was the longest time out I’ve ever had.”
“I went behind your back and stole your girl.”
“So, what’s it like to have that kind of money?”
“I’m hitting my head. I’m hitting the northern-most part of my head.”
“There’s a dark side to a bake sale too, isn’t there? Fat. Cholesterol. What about that?”
“She’s got style. She’s got elegance. She’s got parents.”
“Canadians skate. How hard could it be?”
“I know what you’re saying and I’m winking right back at you.”
“I do believe your resolve is weakening, my little kumquat.”
“Is it okay, if I rip off your head, and roll it down the hallway?”
“If every marriage failed except one, I guarantee you that one would be ours.”
“I’d kill you, but I can’t move.”
“Gotta love Halloween. It really brings people together.”

BTW

I forgot to update that of course my husbands semen analysis came back picture perfect. This is obviously a really good thing for us in the long run but it is a little bit of a bummer in the sense that we don’t have answers still. I was talking with my RE when he recommended that my husband get another semen analysis, and he said that he had questions about why we aren’t getting pregnant as well because most women with PCOS ovulation is the barrier to getting pregnant which I totally am every month. Now with the knowledge that my husbands semen is apparently perfect (even though he has the worst health ever in general 🙄) I am extra confused as to why it is not happening. I mean obviously there can be implantation problems and stuff but every time I have done monitoring before inseminations my lining looks perfect, and they’ve verified my egg quality (really just ovarian reserve though) is really good and my A1C has come down a lot. So this makes me even more curious about MTHFR. It makes me feel slightly good to know we have literally addressed every possible barrier there is at this point and it could just be shitty luck or some other unknown issue that’s very random. I’m still losing weight and going back on my diet after AF shows up, so 🤷🏻‍♀️

So tomorrow I’m going to a lipolysis treatment (first of five), my sister paid for them for my birthday because she knows how self conscious I am about how my legs look right now, and my weight in general.

I’m really hoping it’s going to help out at least a little bit, that it will even out the bumpy fatty look of my legs and maybe even help me lose a few centimeters; that would help release the strain on my skin so the stretchmarks can stop spreading and start healing. I want to wear skirts again.

anonymous asked:

I saw your reblog of this post “the amount of crap i watch for certain actors and actresses is just amazing i hope you appreciate my love for you while i struggle through the worst movies ever just to see your 5 minutes of screen time in it”. And I’m just thinking to myself, I’m going out to buy a copy of People’s magazine to get ONE page of our Shadowhunters men. The biggest tragedy is that People might think sales are up because of B!ake Shelt0n. 😩 I wish People would release more photos

Hahaha I feel this, Anon. 

Also, GIVE ME ALL THESE PICS FROM THAT PHOTOSHOOT IN HQ. Thank you.

anonymous asked:

If you're still doing prompt, davekat maybe? In any quad you can envision, but I really like your writing in general and am trying to introduce my friend a bit but they're stuck on the redknight duo

gloomy-optimist just recently drew a cute davekat comic based on some pale davekat chats we’ve been having, so I’mma pick up that ball and run with it

I’ll be taking prompts until the end of next week

Your pile is a sorry piece of shit.  Of all the piles of personally significant inanimate objects crammed into a mound for romantic platonic non-sexual lovemaking, your pile is probably the worst ever.  Paradox space has never seen a pile as pitiful as yours, and you can almost feel the horrorterrors laughing.  What a fucking joke.

You look down at the book and up at your pile.  The picture you’re working from isn’t much different than your own handiwork.  You can’t figure out what’s off.  Is it the smuppets?  Should you have chosen something a little less phallic, maybe?  But you like the irony of cuddling up pale-style on the soft, obscene plushies, especially since Karkat is none the wiser.  But…you have to admit, maybe it does ruin the mood.  Maybe you should eschew irony for this.  But then, what the hell else are you supposed to build a pile out of?  Dead things floating in jars?  You can just imagine how uncomfortable that would be, with all the hard glass and loud clinking.  And if one of the jars break, the mood would be as dead as the sopping specimen you’d both be rolling in.  You wouldn’t even have to take the mood’s pulse to verify its death.  It’d be a horrible, messy scene, the kind that makes even hardened cops in crime dramas look away and grimace.  No recovering from that.

You huff a sigh through your nose and drop the book unceremoniously to the ground.  Hovering around and staring like an idiot isn’t going to help you solve this problem.  You have to dive in and live the experience.  Feel the pile.  Be the pile.  You trudge over and drop to your knees on the bed of plush rumps, rolling artlessly onto your back.  You are engulfed in the forgiving embrace of a hundred foam asses, all yielding to your weight like a patchwork of memory foam pillows with impudent rear ends.  For a moment, you relax and get a feeling for your bro love nest.  Just lay and wait.  You still can’t quite figure out what’s wrong, but damn are you comfortable.  You may have to take a break on the pale science, because you don’t think you’ll be able to claw your way out of the bowels of your smuppet cave.  You may have to just stay here forever.  Or for a short nap.

An all-too-familiar voice cuts through the incoming nap haze in your brain.  “What the fuck are you doing?”  You freeze, very much alert again.  Shit.  Your pile’s not ready.  And with you in it like this, being all relaxed and chill…this must be some pornographic fantasy material right here.  Like a crush walking in on their dreamboat beating his meat.  Right?  This must be the pale equivalent of Karkat strutting in on your special me-time.  With that thought in mind, you stretch out and adopt a more inviting pose.

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illegalkoopas  asked:

Kubo! C:

general opinion: fall in a hole and die | don’t like them | eh | they’re fine I guess | like them! | love them | actual love of my life
hotness level: get away from me | meh | neutral | theoretically hot but right now he’s just a kid; I imagine Kubo would grow up into a handsome adult not my type | pretty hot | gorgeous! | 10/10 would bang
hogwarts house: gryffindor | slytherin | ravenclaw | hufflepuff
best quality: The gentlest, nicest, most forgiving cinnamon roll that Laika ever created.
worst quality: Kubo can be mischievous, adventurous and reckless when adult supervision is absent. From harassing a swallow with paper birds to the attempted murder of his grandfather in the name of revenge, it can get pretty wild.
ship them with: N/A
brotp them with: The Laika Kids! Kubo desperately needs friends his age.
needs to stay away from: Not! Ending! His! Stories! It’s bad for business, Kubo!
misc. thoughts: I would like to know if Kubo is literate. Sariatu and Hanzo definitely were but I’m not sure if Kubo would’ve been able to receive a proper education from a small farming village. Sariatu might’ve taught him something but given her deteriorating condition it would’ve been limited.

11 random facts

I was tagged by @social-casualty17 Thank you !

The rules are that you have to say 11 random facts about yourself and tag 11 people to do it :))

1. I hate airplanes, airports and just flying in general. I am afraid of them and every time I’m up there I think I’m gonna die and its the worst feeling ever.

2. I have 2 mixed dogs and they mean the world to me! They are my angels and I love them sooo much they are the purest souls on this planet.

3. I get stressed very easily and by the most absurd things its ridiculous. That’s why college has been the most unpleasant experience in my life.

4. I don’t wanna get married or have children. I just feel like I’m not made for that kind of stuff.

5. When I’m out shopping I could literally be at the mall all day and not get tired. I like going from store to store and try stuff on and just take my time lol.

6. I’m the worst driver and it’s because I honestly hardly ever drive so when I do it looks like I’m doing it for the first time.

7. Out of ALL my friends I’m the only who’s not engaged, married or pregnant lol. And we are all 21 btw. Thank you.

8. I looove listening to music, its the only thing that relaxes me. I feel naked if I don’t have my headphones in my bag.

9. Mornings are my favorite part of the day, except when I have to get up early for class lol that’s when it’s ruined.

10. Black and blue are my two favorite colors.

11. I’m shy as hell and its hard for me to let things out even with my closest friends. I’m not the type of person to show emotions, I hate feeling vulnerable and I’m scared of falling in love. I have a short temper but I’m working on it. I’m a good person and I know I have a good heart I promise you ! I’m just at a point in life where I’m getting to know myself. Twenties are a very confusing phase.

I tag @iamsimplyaysha @allumium @lehxmia @levantiinequeen @aubreylou22 @varxne @liljianah

anonymous asked:

riverdale

yesssss

otp: bughead. mcmantle. cheronica. archiereggie. jarchie. beronica. archeryl. cherjosie. chebrina. cheryl x toni. joavin. archie x betty x veronica. jughead x archie x betty x veronica. i have a lot of otps and i probably missed some.
favorite canon pairing: bughead & joavin. but i am so excited to see mcmantle later on.
worst pairing ever: archie x grundy
guilty pleasure pairing: reghead. vughead. chughead. idk i don’t really have a guilty pleasure ship.
a pairing you want to see more: mcmantle. archiereggie. just reggie in general tbh. (also joavin okay i don’t want them to be over)
a pairing everyone likes but you’re like “lol no”: varchie tbh. like i’m not big on them but i kind of ship them.
favorite non romantic pairing: reggie and cheryl. i know that they don’t have any scenes really during the show, but they have the potential to be some badass as fuck bffs. (him cheryl and josie would be a lit ot3 tho)

*PUT A FANDOM IN MY ASK)

anonymous asked:

Mileena being vulnerable in front of Tanya

This takes place about a month after Mileena’s death and the fall of the rebellion.

“Sometimes I think there’s a poison inside of me.”

Tanya looks up from the fire, which she had been diligently tending to for the better part of the hour. They had been the first words the fallen empress had spoken in that time, caught in a long string of silence that was woefully uncommon for her. Mileena’s eyes don’t leave the flames however, fixated.

“What do you mean?”

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geniius  asked:

I'm a biochem major, and I am having the hardest time in my genetics class, but everyone seems to say that ochem is even harder. How was your experience in these classes? Or, what would you consider to be the hardest class you've taken? Did you ever fail a course?

I very nearly failed physical chemistry, which is mostly calculus and which they probably won’t make you take because YOU WILL NEVER USE IT. But my second worst class was general chemistry, which was my first science course.

I got a C the first semester and then ramped right up to an A the second semester and it wasn’t because of anything except learning how to study more effectively. College is much harder than high school…it’s supposed to be much harder than high school, and if you’re using high school study habits in college, you will totally fail. 

Take notes…re-write your notes…explain concepts to yourself out loud even if your roommate thinks you’re insane. Watch youtube videos if you’re having a hard time on a concept. Do practice problems…do them over again. If you aren’t getting it immediately, that’s totally normal. It takes time…spend the time, it’s what you’re paying for.

And for what it’s worth I really liked organic, it made a lot of sense to me…much less complicated than genetics because…well…chemicals are much simpler than life.

So.... thoughts on the screening commentary for "Loser Like Me"...

First of all, many thanks to Brian Cantor for his honest appraisal of the final Glee season premiere. With expectations (good and bad) running high, it’s nice to get an opinion from someone who is a professional and doesn’t have a personal investment in the show or the fandom. And his comments do make me feel a little better about the upcoming episode. Sure, I’m still expecting the season to be a total shitfest in general (and for Kurt in particular), but I’m no longer quite so pessimistic.

First of all, the “Rachel element”, as he put it. I’ve been saying that she’s been cruising for a massive fall for a long time now and it appears that the show is finally going to give it to her and will be pulling no punches. She’s going to be knocked to the ground and kicked while she’s there. It’s been a long time coming and after seeing her treating everyone around her like crap because she felt it was her right as a star, and showing absolutely no appreciation for her professional accomplishments because they came so easily to her. To see her humbled (and so well deservedly so) will go a long way to making the audience care about her story. In season five, they gave her so much so quickly that there was nowhere to go but down. Now that they’ve knocked her down as low as she can go, there is no where she can go but up. Hopefully they’ll be able to moderate her accomplishments to a more believable level and actually let Rachel learn something from her experiences instead of her going back to her old self-entitled ways.

Then we have what obviously has the Klainers in a total tizzy… the big break up between Kurt and Blaine. Again, the breakup has been telegraphed all though season five that these two just weren’t ready to try living together and each time they tried, they failed. That they would implode again is no surprise. Nor that Kurt would be the one to call it quits in the end. We spent all of last season watching his frustration with Blaine’s presence taking over every corner of Kurt’s life, and Blaine being oblivious to when Kurt wasn’t happy. They just weren’t working together.

Now here is where Brian said something interesting in his commentary – that both Kurt and Blaine will get a chance to be seen sympathetically by the audience, but in the end Chris’s acting and the narrative will put most of the sympathy to Kurt’s perspective. This is certainly going to upset the klainers (who are primarily Blaine fans). Ever since Blaine cheated and caused their first break up, they’ve wanted the score to be evened. Since the first spoilers came out, they’ve been waiting for Kurt to be the one at fault for the second break up in order negate the burden that Blaine’s infidelity put on him. Instead, we seem to be getting the impression that while Kurt might be the one who made the call to break up (apparently because he reached his fed up point), that he is going to be presented as at least somewhat justified in his decision. Ending a relationship that doesn’t make you happy doesn’t necessarily make someone a bad person (as opposed to jumping on someone else’s dick in a moment of pique). As for Chris’s acting… will get to that in a moment…

The scene between Blaine, Kurt and Karofsky in the music store – Brian made one thing clear, that Max’s line readings are what really hammers home Kurt’s pain. Not Blaine. This is interesting because this should have been a pivotal scene between Kurt and Blaine and it becomes one about Kurt and Karofsky. Not because of the narrative, but simply on the quality of the acting. To put in bluntly, Chris and Max are so far out of Darren’s league as actors that it’s no surprise that Darren ends up sidelined in a scene that he should be showcased in. And it’s apparently not going to be through lack of trying on the writers parts. They’re giving Darren the material. He’s just not up to it.

And this brings us to Brian’s most inflammatory remark, and I’m going to quote him here. When he was called out by someone for apparently favoring one character over another in his commentary, he answered “I very much realize that I am saying Chris Colfer is a better actor than Darren Criss.”.

Now this should come as no surprise to anyone that the general consensus outside the Glee fandom that Chris is a vastly superior actor than Darren is. Chris is the one with the serious acting awards and nominations, and Chris is the one that was courted to act alongside some of British cinemas living legends. Chris has a remarkable ability to elevate some of the worst material that’s ever been handed to an actor on Glee, so it should not come out as a shock that a critic who doesn’t have a personal investment in either performer (as he’s not a “fan”) can have an unbiased opinion that Chris is the better, more nuanced actor. Or that when Darren is acting in a scene with stronger actors and the scene isn’t staged around supporting him, that he gets pushed to the background. That is not the fault of the show, the writers, the critics or Chris and Max.

Darren has never been a strong actor. Not from the day he first joined the cast. He had a pleasant, affable presence and wasn’t given the kind of material that would outstrip his ability to pull off. He also was given the gift of working with Chris in the majority of his scenes who was able to do all the acting and emotional heavy lifting in their scenes. But in the years since, Darren has not elevated his performances at all. He’s still a strictly surface performer. His dramatic scenes are, at best, unconvincing. And his big comedy moments are totally over the top and lack any sense of subtlety that makes them  work. Rather than trying to learn to improve his performance skills, he bought into the hype that he as the hottest thing ever and if anything, his acting skills have deteriorated. So that Darren isn’t able to hold his own in a scene with better actors? No surprise and Darren and his fans have nothing to blame other than his weak, lazy acting.

So indication that I might have something worth watching in LLM that makes some continuity sense and that I’ll get some stellar acting from Chris, along with whining from the Klaine/Blaine stans about their fav falling short primarily because of Darren’s weakness as an actor… yeah, this year is off to a great start.

anonymous asked:

I'm having a super shitty day, could you possibly rec some of the happiest floating-on-a-cloud-of-fluff sterek fics you can find? 😁

I know this is probably too late to make your super shitty day better, but I have a lot of fics for you, like A LOT. Do you know why? I’m a little too obsessed with this adorable as fuck motherfuckers. Like, really. They are too fucking cute and it hurts my soul a little bit.

Fixer Upper by JaidMcDanno

1,375

General Audiences

The Pack is sick of waiting for their parents to realise that they’re parents, and so do some meddling. They may or may not resort to singing the ultimate love song to them. Madness ensues.

A Tabloid Affair by whyisthiscakeonfire

1,541

General Audiences

Stiles Stilinski has just been voted runner-up in some magazine’s Bachelor of the Year competition.

Just Please, Don’t Give Me a ‘Pal’ by livingoffcourage

1,585

Teen and Up

Derek doesn’t understand why Stiles gave everyone in the pack “Friend” cans, but gives Derek one that says “Pal”.

or

The one where the Coca-Cola cans hone in on Derek’s insecurities and stabs at them with a plastic fork.

The One Where Stiles Vets Derek’s Girlfriends by uraneia

2,054

Teen and Up

Across the loft, Cora claps her hands. “Okay, new rule. Any time Derek wants a date, one of us has to vet her first.”

Scott, who’s actually upside down on Derek’s couch, in apparent celebration of their defeat of the alpha pack—which somehow ended with Kali trying to give Derek her number, and he still doesn’t know how that happened, because he’s the worst alpha ever—says, “You know who’s got really good people instincts?”

*

This is some fluffy silliness I wrote in reaction to “The Girl Who Knew Too Much.” Anyone looking for a serious story should probably look elsewhere. However, if you want to know the kind of flaws Stiles discovers in Derek’s possible dates, this is the place for you.

That is Distracting by alisvolatpropiis

2,485

Not Rated (But I’m gonna give it a General Audiences)

Inspired by this delightful moment from SDCC.

(I made it a puppy instead of a baby because reasons)

i am toasting to the way you put that smile upon my face by decideophobia

2,635

Teen and Up

“Dude,” he says slowly, meeting Derek’s glance again, face disbelieving. “Is—is it your birthday?”

“No,” Derek sneers. “I’m just treating myself to a cupcake.”

Derek Hale—Even in the Wind His Hair Is Perfect by literaryoblivion

2,690

Teen and Up

It’s not the greatest job in the world, but someone’s gotta do it. And Stiles makes the most of it, okay?

Writing captions for the live broadcasts as well as helping run and write the copy for the online news stories can get rather tedious and boring, but Stiles tries his best to keep himself entertained. Slipping in a movie or comic book reference inside a human interest story just to see if someone comments about it, putting up a funny headline to see if someone catches it and puts it up on reddit, you know harmless things that to the casual viewer and reader will go unnoticed but to those that actually pay attention, they might get a kick out of it.

Recently though, he maybe has been… abusing his power.

Derek Hates Disney (But He Really Doesn’t) by adult_disneyprincess

2,711

General Audiences

Derek thinks it is a nightmare that wakes him from his sleep like almost every night, but once he wakes up long enough to remember where he is he realizes that it wasn’t a night mare that woke him up.

It was singing.

Derek rubs his bleary eyes when he looks at him clock. It is three o’clock in the morning, and Derek just stares in disbelief at his clock until the song that his new neighbor was singing finally clicked in Derek’s head. It was “You Got a Friend in Me” from Toy Story. Derek stares that opposite wall where the music is coming from before he throws back his covers, and stomps towards the man’s door.

as close to you as i can get by chaosy

2,726

Explicit

(925): we hooked up on one of my students’ desks last night… i can’t decide if i’m ashamed or massively proud of myself

(707): dude you teach first grade wtf

perfectly imperfect by pr1nc3ssp34ch

2,851

General Audiences

“What the hell is this?” He tries to make it come out as a growl, but his voice just sounds a little bit hoarse, and he can feel his eyebrows furrowing in confusion.

Stiles takes one look at him and promptly bursts into laughter. “Oh my god, dude, you look like a kicked puppy, it’s a list. Calm down.”

Derek frowns harder at him, trying to convey his feelings through the weight of his gaze alone. “And the first rule on it is giving me hugs?”

This explains so much.

Build-a-Stiles? by har1ey_quinn

2,916

Not Rated (I’m gonna give it a General Audiences)

He has a kid, he can’t be thinking that a Build-a-Bear employee of all people, is cute.

Wingwoman by Badwolf36

2,931

General Audiences

Laura begs Derek to visit the animal shelter and make a new friend. Derek goes, and somehow ends up with both a kitten and a date.

If You’re Wondering by Meeya8587

3,134

Teen and Up

If he didn’t know any better, he’d swear that he’s got a spell or jinx on him that warns the packs back home whenever his V-card’s in danger of being punched. Every. time. Stiles has been this close to getting it on with someone (and once, someones), someone calls him with an ‘emergency’.

Inside This Place Is Warm by wolfcloaks

3,154  I  5/?

Teen and Up

This was requested over on my Tumblr, the anon wanted: “Stiles is the librarian at the local university and Derek is super into him but he thinks Isaac and Stiles are dating. Que boys being idiots.”

And Take My Whole World Too by happilyeveramber

3,385

Mature

In the beginning, Stiles would throw it around hesitantly- “If you love me, go get me a cheeseburger.” “I will love you forever if you do this.” “Why don’t you love me like that?”- as a joke, but when he realized that Derek was definitely not joking, he used it every chance he got.

Derek Hale: Original Failwolf by seraphina_snape

4,122

Teen and Up

Stilinski and McCall were fully dressed now. Stilinski was waiting while McCall put on his shoes. Further into the room, Weird Creep was hiding behind a row of lockers. Only half his body was still visible. Clearly the guy operated on the old ‘if I can’t see it, it can’t see me’ school of stealth.

Coach Finstock looked back to the boys. McCall was still busy tying his shoes. Either he hadn’t noticed or he was avoiding the coach - either was a distinct possibility. Stilinski had a ‘lord give me strength’ expression on and was shaking his head.

“Seriously?” Coach Finstock asked.

“Yeah,” Stilinksi said. “Just… don’t mention it. It’s nothing weird, I swear.”

—-

AKA 5 Times Derek Hale Tries (And Utterly Fails) To Be Stealthy and 1 Time He Totally Knows He Failed

The Singing Curse by IdontlikeIobsess

4,296

Teen and Up

Derek is hit by “The Singing Curse”. Stiles tries to help him out.

Say uncle by MsCee

5,714

Teen and Up

Derek Hale does not babysit. He just doesn’t. That is, until he finds out that his cute new neighbor wants them to bond as single fathers while their daughters play. Not that Ellie is his daughter, but Stiles doesn’t need to know that, right?

*

Or, wherein Derek does not bother correcting an assumption and probably even encourages it in the name of lurve, but it all works out because Stiles is not exactly being the poster boy of honesty either.

Seriously, it’s like you’re photoshopped. by nevermetawolf

8,090

Teen and Up

“Oh my god,” Stiles squeaks out again. “You’re unbelievable.”

Hot Bar Guy bobs his head agreeably. “I’ve been told that before, though usually people are more out of breath and less clothed when they say it.”

 
Or, the Crazy, Stupid, Love AU nobody asked for.

Stacking Up by bravelittlesoldier

8,286

Mature

Stiles is working in the basement of the Library of Congress and is feeling his social skills quickly deteriorate. Then along comes a new librarian working at Circulation who is most definitely a male model. Maybe its time to start re-socializing.

Babcia Knows Best by thepsychicclam

11,887

Teen and Up

Stiles takes his grandmother to bingo every Thursday. Now there’s a new guy calling out the numbers, and his grandmother has decided to set them up.

This Is Lovecanthropy by ifwallscouldspeak

12,141

Teen and Up

In which Valentine’s Day is closely approaching, and Derek is a disgruntled grad student who works at a library. He’s hit a roadblock on his thesis, he’s harboring a (not so secret) crush on Stiles, and he keeps receiving werewolf-themed gifts from a secret admirer.

Basically, Derek is totally oblivious and angsty, Stiles does a lot of planning off-screen, and Erica and Scott are awesome friends who are awesome.

How To Turn A Bad Boy Into A Fanboy by charlesdk

15,648

Teen and Up

Stiles owns a comic books store and Laura’s son is a huge fan of Spiderman. It was only a matter of time before Derek stepped foot in there.

Trees are always a relief after dealing with people (except when they aren’t) by ravelqueen

15,889

Mature

Derek Hale decides to become a hermit before he reaches 25. Too bad he picked Beacon Hills as his retirement home.

(Or the one where Stiles is a wood nymph/pixie/human hybrid who falls in love with his new grumpy werewolf neighbour)

How I Met My Werebunny by Moku

19,811

Teen and Up

“This is going to end in tears,” Scott told Derek while he watched the man easily lifting Stiles’ desk up with one hand and driving nails into the ceiling with the thumb of the other. “Probably mine.”

Or:

When a Stiles and a Failwolf love each other very much, they’ll engage in a prank war. Basically, it’s a mating ritual for dorks in love.

Sweet Tooth by Spikedluv

24,866

Explicit

Derek Hale had returned to Beacon Hills and the ice cream place was reopening. “Best. Day. Ever,” Stiles told Scott.

Okay, here you go! Hope y’all enjoy the adorable motherfuckers in love. They just ruin my poor little shipper heart.

Love and internet hugs,

Fluffy Wolf

Reflections, an update, offering advice and raising awareness for mental health

I think it has been no secret that I have struggled with mental illnesses for a while particularly over the course of the past year. What not as many people know is that parts of my problems have existed in various forms for over five years. But the most important thing now is that I can reflect on what has arguably been the toughest battle of my life (which is by no means over) and acknowledge that I have grown as a person from it. In fact, I even believe it has made me a better person.

I won’t be excessively divulging into the deep and grim details of my problems but I do hope to express the main lessons that I have learnt from them, which I hope can help others too.

1. It will always get better
2. You will always be strong enough to overcome any battle
3. You should not be ashamed of you journey
4. It is okay to talk about it
5. Throughout life, it will always be the little things that bring the greatest of joys

So the first lesson of “it will always get better” is the most important one to me right now and the most important to remember.

In my journey, I had over six months of effectively being ‘recovered’ during year 12 and I believed that I would never not be okay again (naïve I know), but my problems returned out of no where.

It was nearing the end of the summer holidays just before year 13 began and I was the most petrified I had ever been. I knew I was losing my mind again and I couldn’t do anything about it, but the difference between then and when I first got ill was that this time I knew how bad I could get.

I was let down by the NHS quite badly at this point which is when I took on a ridiculous and dangerous cycle of various negative coping mechanisms (some of which people may have been exposed to) because I had no idea what else to do. I even convinced myself that they helped me but on reflection they just heightened my issues.

I pretty much lost everything good about myself and all the hope and excitement which I had worked so hard on. On too many occasions, whether on the drive into school, on a night out or just before I slept I’d be thinking “I can’t do this” … “how am I ever going to get to the end of year 13?”, “how will I even get through tomorrow?”. I convinced myself that my life was going to be awful forever simply because it was in that moment and I genuinely believed that I would never be okay again. This thought process again was just vicious and detrimental, resulting in the worsening of my mindset.

But look at me now… I have changed so much (I think for the better), yet I feel the more like me than I have in a long time. I made it. I made it to the final days of school, through exams and all of the days I thought I wouldn’t and I have come out the other side.

I doubted my ability to ever be happy again… but I am. I am confident again, I actually even like myself now and I can see the good in almost every day. In fact, I am so proud of myself and what I have achieved because I did it. I may not have achieved a gold medal at the Olympics or the top grades but I fought my own mind and came out on top which to me is pretty much the same thing.

For anyone, it is easy to forget how you have overcome challenges before, but whether it is from writing it down or continuously repeating it to yourself, you can never let yourself forget again.

From this day I will never let myself forget that I overcame my anxiety depression when I was 16 years old. I went over a year without self harming. I would consider myself almost recovered from anorexia. I got through bouts of mania and depression in this past year and I pretty much accept my body for what it is now. I am sure that others can create a list like this, or even one of other achievements such as “I made it out of the house that time that I was convinced I couldn’t”

Now for some key quotes to sum up my thoughts because quotes can actually help you understand and motivate your life and I am very bad at being precise:

- “Just because today is a terrible day, it doesn’t mean that tomorrow won’t be the best day of your life. You have just got to get there.”

- “Don’t let a bad day make you feel like you have a bad life.”

- “When something bad happens, you have three choices. You can either let it define you. Let it destroy you. Or you can let it strengthen you.”

Through small steps every day, I have got through some of the hardest times of my life and finally, I feel like I am and I will be better again. And this can apply to anyone. Things can and will always get better.

This suitable leads onto the next idea of, “you will always be strong enough to overcome any battle”. This lesson is best explained through the following quote:

“On particularly rough days which I’m sure I can’t possibly endure, I like to remind myself that my track record for getting through bad days so far is 100%… and that’s pretty good.”

It is true though. If you’re like me and you have questioned your ability to keep going through the motions of life or your reason to keep going because everything just seems impossible, you also need to remember that you have had the ability and reason to keep going on every other day of your life and that will never change. The only thing that tells you you can’t is your mind, and overcoming that is by no means easy but you have done it before and you will do it again.

Even if you live by the motto “Turn your cant’s into cans and your dreams into plans.” you will begin to take small steps in the right direction, because the key to positivity and strength is a positive attitude.

Look at each and every small achievement on the day. Practise gratitude and be proud of yourself and soon enough, you will start to believe in your abilities again. Even if your main achievement that day is getting out of bed – it is still more than not!

On a slightly different but equally important note which I am actually exceptionally proud of myself for (thinking about my achievements), “I should not be ashamed of my journey.” When I first began to develop problems I didn’t understand what was going on. Mental health awareness wasn’t really a thing and the general subject of it was a massive taboo. But by keeping it to myself I only ever got worse. The worst thing anyone can do is to let themselves struggle alone. Equally, pretending you were never ill is just setting yourself up for another fall.

In a way, I lost some friendships. I isolated myself and I was ashamed of my scars, the fact I couldn’t always be super happy or social. But when I was able to accept myself for my problems, when I was able to talk to my friends about them even if it was just, “I’m having a bad day” I actually began to feel accepted and less alone.

Through self acceptance, I rebuilt trust in myself and faith in those around me, because by finding the positives in my journey – like how I feel that I am a more insightful and considerate person than I would have been I am actually now proud of myself for it and people seem to be proud of me too. Which in itself is a wonderful feeling.

The past five years have been a big part of my life or anyone’s struggles for that matter, there is no point hiding from them and pretending they never happened because in reality it did.

From my journey, I hope to use it to help others – which is kind of the point of this lengthy (sorry) post. As I hope that maybe even the smallest thing can be taken from it for those who are struggling and even those who want to help others. Hey… maybe one day I will be better at making my points punchier so that I can raise awareness for mental health issues and help others on a larger scale.

But more to the point, I am proud of my journey, and one day I will use it to help others.

My next lesson of “it’s okay to talk about it”, is very similar. So obviously I don’t mean that everyone should make every conversation to be about mental health and negatives but a simple “I am not feeling so great today” is okay. To reach out for help, is okay. Even to share your achievements and thoughts of gratitude is okay. They have always said “a problem shared is a problem halved” and like you would discuss a broken leg with your relatives, you should feel that it is okay to tell them about your ‘broken’ mind. A key part of depression, anxiety and other similar illnesses is a deep sense of loneliness. Convincing yourself that you have to keep your problems to yourself will just deepen the rut that you feel your in.

Like me, you may be surprised at how much people are actually willing to help. It will probably even shock you the number of people who will respond with the words “I feel the same”.

Through finally letting myself talk, I have learnt that pretty much every person in my life has had their own struggle whether it is with their appearance, size, the odd low mood, feeling anxious or alone. Just because social media creates the perception that everyone has their lives together (after all people rarely post about the ‘bad days’), you’d be amazed at the internal struggles everyone has faced.

Talking can help you feel less alone and everyone deserves that, you may even find that it opens new doors in your life of people you can support and people who want to support you. Most friends would rather you told them what was wrong than for you to avoid ‘hassling’ them and end up pushing them away.

My final lesson, which more people really need to live by is that “throughout life, it will always be the little things that bring the greatest of joys”. Too often people are preoccupied with the need to be rich, have a big house, basically have it all. Don’t get me wrong I am even guilty of it. Through most of my childhood I had ridiculous aspirations, I was a massive overachiever and I was striving for jobs that would have given me luxuries but not happiness. Everyday I was too busy looking forward to the next thing, “I can’t wait till I am a teenager”, “I can’t wait till I am 18 and allowed to legally drink”, “I can’t wait to go to university, get a job.” It is so easy to forget to live.

Especially when something like depression hits, the constant strive for the ‘best’ future can actually become daunting. People end up forgetting to enjoy the moment striving for the perfect next stage of life that they’re never really content. It can seem like a constant uphill battle which is where the next quote is important.

“Never get so busy making a living, that you forget to make a life.”

Only through losing my mind and almost my life did I realise that my aspirations were not what I wanted. They were what the money hungry, appearances based society made me think I wanted. I wasn’t happy with them. I got to the point where I had nothing to work for. At last though I am reaching a state of contentment because I have realised that my idea of a life is okay even if it is not the standard one and by doing so I am now abler to focus on the now, which I believe you can too.

Like today, I was over the moon because the lady in Greggs bakery gave me a free hot chocolate. Some people would say “why were you so happy, it’s just a hot chocolate?” But it isn’t. It was an act of generosity, a random good thing of the day. In appreciating the little things, you can appreciate life for what it is and not just for what you’re made to believe it should be.

Even find yourself a hobby that you love like my pottery painting, to ground yourself and to focus on the little moments because it is important to find enjoyment I everyday life and to not lose sense of who you are. You won’t sit there and think “my thirteenth birthday was great because I had the biggest house to throw it in” you sit there and you remember the smile you got from a certain friend or the yumminess of the cake. The littlest of joys will always be the best and the most important.

I really do apologise for the length of this post… it is 2/5 of the way to being an EPQ (oops). But I felt like it was important. I have spent a lot of the past couple of weeks reflecting. Reflecting on my achievements and how I have grown as a person. And all I want now is for others to know that they should never have to feel alone or like they are stuck in a rut. I will happily talk to anyone and just be a friend because I know myself how much that can help even if I am not a professional. It is easy to get caught up in a mental illness, but the thing you have to remember is that you’re so incredibly brave for trying.

Note: For some people this post may have been a tad confusing because it came out of no where. But others may remember that I used to have a blog with a lot of followers where I would post anything. I hadn’t actually publicly talked about my problems for months as I felt uncomfortable and I was stuck in a bad place. However, upon many reflective drunken nights and long conversations with people I have come to realise that I am in the best place that I have been in a long time. So in a way this is an update for those who used to read my posts (even though I didn’t realise they did) and my way of hopefully starting the next chapter of my life where I can start to raise awareness for mental health issues and to help others.

“Be yourself and you can be anything.”

The Power of Mabel

Day 5: Missed Moments

I will forever mourn the fact that we never got to have a boxing episode wherein Stan teaches Mabel how to box (I’d like to imagine the episode would be titled either “Raging Ma-Bull” or “Million Dollar Mabel”. Can’t quite decide…)

Not sure what the plot would be but here are some general ideas for a plot: 

  • It’s time for the Gravity Falls’ Semi-Annual Children’s boxing match (for charity purposes, of course)! Stan used to enter Soos into the boxing match to give the Shack some free publicity but 1) Soos no longer legally qualifies as a kid and 2) ever since Soos saw “The Karate Dude”, he’s lost a bit of interest in boxing (he hopes to get his brown belt next fall!)
  • Looking for a replacement, Stan decides to train Mabel in the basics of boxing. After all, he saw her in action against the zombies and knows she can handle herself in a fight.
  • All Mabel knows about boxing comes from the movie Stony IV staring the Norse Horse himself, Stony van Bobkinson (Mabel only originally watched it because that Russian boxer was quite the looker and it had a cute robot friend!) So her understanding of boxing is limited to “a 3-minute inspirational montage will make me the best in my sport and also stop communism!”
  • Stan comes up with a plan, though. If he lugs around a big boombox and follows Mabel, then she’ll stay motivated and be an expert in no time. So for the next week, no matter where they go or what they’re doing (training, eating at a diner, scrapbooking current events), Stan and Mabel hang out together with inspirational eighties songs in the background.

And I have no idea where the plot goes from there; I just really wanted to see Mabel and her Grunkle Stan bond over boxing and goofy dated sports movie from the 80’s!

anonymous asked:

Aren't you afraid of being associated with the misogynistic shitpile that is 4chan?

I’m afraid of a lot of things. I’m afraid that the modern way of life might become unsustainable. I’m afraid of falling asleep on the road, because I was out too late at night and too tired to know any better. I’m afraid that being an independent illustrator now might leave me with no retirement funds for if my hands go arthritic or my eyes go blind.

But one of the things I’m most afraid of are people who don’t know a thing about what they’re talking about. People have always found ways to simplify entire groups of “others” just to make sure they’re right. And if all you see when you see 4chan are the worst people there, get a mirror and look at tumblr here, or reddit there, or twitter over yonder. People who have to simplify things into evil little boxes are what make me truly afraid. Because I can take myself getting abuse, I’m grown up enough to know better. But when people in general stop understanding that the world is a complicated place with dimension and character and beauty and problems, that’ll be when the species truly ends. I am deeply afraid of that.

I ain’t afraid of being associated with 4chan, any more than I am afraid of being associated with tumblr, with gamers, with America. Each of those things have harbored some of the worst examples of subhuman shit stains the world has ever seen. But that doesn’t matter all that much does it?

All I can ever promise is try to be a good person. If all people want to do is put a label on me and dismiss me for frequenting a place that is also traveled by the obscene and the hateful, then forgive me for trying to live.