A Day in the Life of My Internal Medicine Rotation
5:05 am- Alarm blares. Me screaming (internally)
5:10 am- All needs are forgotten except for COFFEE
6:00 am- Finish up some last minute paperwork, wish I was sleeping instead.
6:40 am- Arrive at hospital, put on white coat.
6:45 am- IMMEDIATELY get bloody diarrhea splattered on me and my previously white, now red-brown, white coat. So THIS is how this day is going to go huh?
7:00 am- Physical exam on my inpatient, give treatments, assess how they are doing (aka love on them, despite them pooing on me). Call owner with an update.
7:30 am- Inpatient rounds. Stumble through case presentation. Try to believe I am only imagining them cringing at my proposed plan for my inpatient for today.
8:40 am- Paperwork. Eat a handful of dried fruit (because you NEVER know when your next chance for food will be!).
8:53 am- Running around to coordinate diagnostic testing for my ICU inpatient.
9:00 am- Appointment is here! Crap but I still have inpatient stuff to do…
9:40 am- Leave appointment with physical exam findings and history in tow. Try to make sense of the clinical signs. Forget ALL THE THINGS when asked a direct question by head attending and try not to scream from frustration of my brain fart.
10:00 am- Go back into exam room with attending in tow. With plan (and now patient) in hand, submit paperwork for diagnostics. Draw blood, get urine, oh my!
10:47 am- Gulp a part of a granola bar while running around doing diagnostics and discharge and grabbing meds at pharmacy and ugh so much exercise! Who needs a fitbit when my legs are already yelling at me for walking so much?
12:29 pm- Realize I have no sat down since 7. Get woozy as I rush to make it to rounds before 12:30. Or else the wrath of “all must be timely or you shall be smited” is hanging in the balance.
12:30 (On. the. dot.) pm- Case Base Rounds (or really classroom). Better know that 26th differential for acute small bowel diarrhea or else!
3:30 pm- Frantically try to type out discharges while simultaneously requesting a CT scan, analyzing a urinalysis, calling back the own, and resisting the urge to cry.
4:00 pm- Run 5 miles around the hospital trying to find my head clinician/attending that is never to be found unless of course I am stumbling or making a mistake…
4:30 pm- Discharge patient!
5:10 pm- Fill out treatment sheet for inpatient.
5:30 pm- Pout as I see classmates leaving the building while I am stuck behind a mountain of paperwork yet.
7:00 pm- Get clearance from my clinician and GET THE HECK OUT OF DODGE. Eat food. Enjoy the moonlight! Be merry!
9:00 pm- Sluggishly type paperwork at home. This is not going well.
just saw a church sign that said “ALL LIVES MATTER INCLUDING THOSE IN THE WOMB” which is really so cute because you know these prolife evangelical fucks change their tune once the baby is actually born and it’s black so shut the fuck up mayhaps? jesus is crying
Things I have previously experienced:
Can’t sleep, too hyper.
Can’t sleep, too sad.
Can’t sleep, too mad.
Can’t sleep, too much to do.
Can’t sleep, too anxious.
Things I am currently experiencing:
Can’t sleep, too happy
This is possible???
If y’all want to hear about my really shitty experience I just went through that I’m probably blowing out of proportion but I’m still really upset…
So let me preface this whole rant with this picture:
I just want you to keep that image in mind this whole time.
and also let me say that I’m not hating on the above picture, like those girls worked hard and all but lets be fucking real.
okay, so first of all we had this competition in which we had to make a box out of cookies and then fill the box with cookies(this was stolen directly from the Great British Bake Off)
I was on a team of 3, including my sister. THe other team mate flip flopped between three different girls throughout the last week of planning but we finally got stuck with my little cousin who is basically clueless. SHe also fucking broke our display while we were being judged. THREE FUCKING TIMES. and then she fucking cried because I told her to go away.
it was fine. I’m a baker, I know what I’m doing and I can handle this. we were originally given wrong instructions, so my team was WAY more ambitious that everyone else from the very start. We were also the most prepared.
Also note that this all took place in my house, with MY equipment, and cookie dough that I made the night before so I had a shit ton to do in preparation.
My aunt was spearheading this and lets be honest, she is my least favorite aunt anyway because she is mean as hell and basically thrives off of making fun of me. So that’s what happened for the 2.5 hours that this was going on.
Also I get very very very into my work. Especially food because it’s the one thing that I am passionate about and that I am good at, so if you make fun of me for being stressed you can go fuck yourself. THis is my life so stfu.
so all in all I fucking lost. I fucking lost to that picture up above. It’s a shoe box filled with random shit. So they spent two hours doing that. While I worked my goddamn ass off to produce my final product.
THis is partly because my aunt was a judge, but I’m also suspicious that it’s because two of the judges have the hots for a girl on the winning team(although one was very surprised when they won)
and then to top it all off they fucking left my house a huge mess for me to clean up. Like no, please come over and insult me and then leave with your mess all over my kitchen.
And this isn’t the first time something like this has happened when we do cooking competitions, actually this has happened EVERY time we do a cooking competition because I am unfairly held to a higher standard than everyone else, but even with that higher standard my fucking cookies should have kicked everyone elses ass and I am pissed as fuck right now.
I bet you want to see my cookies don’t you? well here you go:
Don’t get me wrong, there are pieces of this that could be so much better, but we had a time limit, and I had a fifth grader to work with. But like are you actually kidding me? Also, I’ll be posting the cookies in a separate post and I’ll tag that whatever.