and i am so proud of that 's' you don't even understand

walkingsaltshaker  asked:

The members (+ V & Saeran) discovering MC had a child/children? Or their reactions of MC admitting she wanted children? (You don't have to do both, either one would be nice. I just didn't want to send 2 asks.)

Doing the first one because it is!! Super cute! (I work in a toy store so I LOVE KIDS lmao.)


Yoosung

  • Your hands are shaking from your nerves when you finally work up the nerve to type up the text. Her name is Iseul. She’s two, and her dad left me just before she was born.
  • His reply was near instantaneous. Can I see a picture?
  • You turned to your daughter and put on a grin. Say cheese, honey!
  • “Heez!” She reached out to you, her little chubby fingers fanned out, and you snapped a picture of her face, of her red cheeks and big, broad smile. The little smiley face in the caption when you sent it to Yoosung felt like a lie.
  • You told him that you understood if it was a deal breaker, seriously you did. Even if you did date, you didn’t expect him to become her father. You got it, you got it, you understood, he was young and you’d -
  • You can’t even finish your string of messages before you get one back from him. She’s precious, just like you, and I’m not going to let you struggle raising her alone.
  • Yoosung’s desire to grow up and become a man increases twofold. It isn’t that he’s really excited about a kid - honestly, he’d never thought of it - but he’s so, so determined to support you that he’s willing to give fatherhood a go.
  • Despite his determination, it’s a bit… rough at first. He doesn’t really know what he’s doing and he often panics about little things. 
  • (am I feeding her enough? Am I feeding her right? why is she crying DID I BREAK SOMETHING OH NO HELP)
  • she’s chewing on the keyboard wire omg no stop
  • “oh shit i’m in the middle of a LOLOL match and she’s cry ing fuck”
  • (you come home one day and yoosung is in the fetal position because drew ALL over the apartment walls and he doesn’t KNOW WHAT TO DO)
  • After learning the ropes though he is great at being a dad. He’s just this big huge kid paling around with your kid and it makes your heart melt. Sometimes he’ll sit her on his lap and she’ll watch him play LOLOL. (at first it annoys him when she presses keys and paws at the screen but eventually he chills out and thinks it’s adorable)
  • He’s so proud of her. He never once thinks of her as being anything but his child, and he brags about her SO MUCH to his guild. (sometimes he’ll turn on voice and let them say hi to her)
  • (she always babbles back)
  • (they love her protect ur daughter 2k16)

Zen

  • You have a daughter?
  • Can he see her?
  • Oh god she’s the cutest he loves her already. Wait, that’s not weird, is it? He’s not weirding you out?
  • Great - first time he meets her, he brings her hair clips and buys her ice cream and dotes on her like the happiest new father imaginable.
  • Zen doesn’t hold back on either his love for you or your child. He is so happy to be a dad. He’s always taking photos of her, taking photos of you, taking photos of BOTH of you and just… grinning. He has a family.
  • He has a family.
  • like seriously this is Zen
  • When he finds out her father left you he is S T E A M E D. He wants to hunt him down and give him hell but respects you when you say you just… want that period of your life to be over now. It’s done.
  • He’s here.
  • He does puppet shows for her. He acts for her. He does all the funny voices for the bedtime stories and takes her to amusement parks when she’s old enough.
  • Daddy loves playing dress up with his little princess
  • (When Isuel starts imitating daddy while he’s performing he M E L T S.) 
  • If the media says an goddamn thing about u and your PERFECT DAUGHTER he will cut someone
  • (seriously he has like a million photos of her in his wallet his coworkers are sick of it)

Jaehee

  • She is understandably nervous when she learns you have a kid, and you tell her it won’t affect her relationship with you. You’ve been doing the single mother thing for two years now, you can manage it.
  • She’s not really expecting to get attached, only thinking of your child as something akin to taxes or a loan you’re paying off. She cares about it because it puts a burden on you, and she’ll help put when she can, but there’s no maternal affection there…
  • …Until, both by bit - your daughter, worms her way into Jaehee’s heart.
  • It’s the little things at first. The way she grins when she finishes a puzzle, the way she wiggles and dances to the music Jaehee plays while she’s working… and the way she sits right in front of the television whenever Zen is on screen. it’s just cute.
  • (seriously she touches Zen’s face and Jaehee LOVES IT)
  • Jaehee thought of children much like cats - messy and just… a burden - but watching the way the two of you smile at each other when you’re holding her… she’s just…
  • She’s filled with love - for you, for her, and she can feel that love that she’d forgotten, of a parent who deeply cares for their child.
  • (One day she offers Jaehee a cookie and says ‘mama have cookie!’ and JAEHEE ALMOST STARTS CRYING AHHH)
  • Jaehee learns how to make really killer hot chocolate for her since she’s too young to drink coffee, and the way she wipes the whipped cream mustache off your daughter’s face is just… precious…..

(more under the cut!)

Keep reading

saeranshoe  asked:

So Hi there could I please request how the rfa boys and v and saeran wrap help mc when she has bad meltdowns due to being autistic (for me personally I shutdown and become verbally aggressive though I never mean it and I become disassociated with myself and thier very invasive like a panic attack almost) if you don't want to do it that's fine but thankyou anyway 💙

 I’m so glad you requested this!! I have some autistic friends, so I know a little about this topic. I hope you like it! I wrote this as the first time MC has a meltdown in front of their s/o.

⭐Yoosung Kim

💚When he finds you in a meltdown, he freaks out

💚probably starts crying as well 

💚this baby has no idea what to do!!! 

💚he will first try to go to you and maybe hug you, but once he sees that makes it worse he removes himself from the room

💚this baby calls his mom 

💚HE WANTS TO HELP YOU AND DOESN’T KNOW HOW, HE IS SOBBING

💚once he gets himself calmed down he will distract himself with cooking, so that he can keep himself calm and give you something that might make you simmer down 

💚he will quietly enter the room with some food, and your stim toys

💚once you calm down he helps you eat and you both use the toys

💚i mean he can’t resist them they look cool and he doesn’t want you to feel weird for using them!! he’ll grab one and ask you what it does and ask you to show him 

💚he is very supportive and will try to keep his calm and help you anyway he can 

🎧 Seven

❤️reacts IMMEDIATELY 

❤️out of them all, Seven knows the most about meltdowns and being autistic

❤️this dude is a genius and has 100% looked up and studied mental illnesses, i mean

❤️the dude is a mess 

❤️he will gather all your stim toys and your weighted blanket 

❤️will cover you in it so that if you want to hide and rock, you can while getting the calming feeling the blanket offers 

❤️he won’t force himself on you, he just silently says he’s going to go outside and if you need him come right away

❤️has a mini panic attack himself 

❤️because,,, what if he didn’t do the right thing?? was it right of him to leave you alone??? 

❤️also oh god what if you diE

❤️you come out of the room yourself and it’s eerily quiet

❤️you guys just hug it out, and cling to each other. 

❤️after this, seven will do everything he can to help you when your on the verge of a meltdown 

❤️this experience only brings you closer. 

🖊 Jumin Han

💙 wow um 

💙 sorry to spoil this parade but honestly he is PROBABLY THE WORST. 

💙 he has no. experience. with. meltdowns. 

💙 or autistic people in general 

💙 this dude grew up in a box, he didn’t even know what autism was until you came along 

💙 when you have a meltdown he freaks out 

💙 immediately does. all the wrong things. i am so sorry for you honestly

💙 he just doesn’t understand and he just wants to help, so jumin is a mess.

💙 like Yoosung, he’ll call someone. First person to pop up is Jaehee 

💙 Jaehee comes and practically drags Jumin away from you 

💙 The two have to have a full on conversation on what a meltdown even is and how to treat it 

💙 when you come out of the room, Jumin is frozen in place

💙 he feels so bad. after the conversation, he knows. he knows he only made it worse

💙 poor guy can not look you in the eye 

💙 the two of you hug it out, and stay connected for hours and talk it out

💙 legit he forgets Jaehee is even there and she has to invite herself out it’s so awkward 

📚Jaehee Kang

💛 Okay so like seven she knows some stuff about autism. 

💛 even if seven knows the most out of the group, Jaehee has the most responsible approach. 

💛 she gathers the weighted blankets and stims, but STAYS WITH YOU LIKE A PERSON SHOULD

💛 DON’T LEAVE MC ALONE PLEASE 

💛 will offer you a massage and keeps CALM

💛 will stay with you even if you yell at her to go away, because she is stubborn and knows that this will pass. 

💛 if you hit her she’ll let it happen, because it is okay. she will grab your hands and look you in the eye and just keep telling you it is okay. You are okay. She loves you. 

💛 she loves you so much

💛 after the meltdown, the both of you cuddle with the weighted blanket and she tells you how much she cares for you and is proud of you

💛 later you will discuss what triggered it. but now, you two just hold each other in silence. 

💛 can you tell Jaehee is very dear to me

🎭 Zen

🖤 oh boy

🖤 ohhh boy,,,

🖤 so. he’s practically as bad as Jumin. But he’s a little better

🖤 he researched autism once he knew that was a part of you, because he loves you and wants to know everything he can

🖤 but. he didn’t know about meltdowns. 

🖤 he thinks you are having a panic attack, so he uses the knowledge he has in that regard 

🖤 he has no knowledge please help him 

🖤 the only thing he knows is your stims and your headphones. so he grabs those and puts on your headphones, gives you your favorite doll and just looks at you. 

🖤 he knows you can’t hear him but he jUST WANTS TO HELP

🖤 zen legit starts reading off his script for his next play

🖤 he has NO IDEA if this will work and surprisingly??? 

🖤 it does.

🖤 bitch cries when you calm down and holds you. even if your the one that needs comforting after the meltdown, zen pretty much was scared so bad and just needs to be held 

🖤 you two will definitely be talking later. 

📷 V

💜 please please give this boy an award 

💜 he does ALL THE RIGHT THINGS AND YOU FEEL SO LOVED 

💜 he’ll hold you in his arms, give you a massage, talk to you about his day, remove all things that might trigger you out of the room, and just is flat out

💜 an angel. 

💜 he’ll sing to calm you down and honestly he is so good 

💜 he sings simple things like lullabies and you love it. sweet and simple and just what you need. 

💜 expect a lot of spoiling and affection afterwards!!

💔 Saeran 

💔 DOES ANYONE ELSE THINK THIS BOY IS AUTISTIC 

💔 i do so here we GO 

💔 he has been there. so many times. soso many times with no one there to help him. 

💔 at first, he has no idea what to do. it’s like a flash in the past. he sees himself in you and that scares him. 

💔 he will remove himself from the room without a word. he knows he needs to gather himself together

💔 once he’s calm, he practically knows everything. will remove anything sharp or dangerous from the room. will even take off his pointy bracelet. 

💔 gathers some warm drinks because that helped him calm down 

💔 will make you lay down. he doesn’t care where you are. you’re lying down. 

💔 he puts so much weight on you, including himself. on top of all the blankets he just lies down on you and breathes deep breaths. 

💔 no words are spoken. 

💔 you two will probably stay like that the rest of the day. 


i hope it came out well aaaaAaa.,,,, ;-;

-green

Oh, Sana, what did you do?

This update has made me very sad. Poor Sana is hurting so much and I really really understand how she’s feeling, particularly about Noora and Yousef. 

But first, Sanaaaaa why did you have to post those pictures? Like, I am proud of my daughter for revealing Sara as fake fake fake but this is gonna come back to bite her. This might hurt her relationship with Isak. But also maybe not because it’s not like Isak cares about his relationship with Sara so if she is mad at him for their conversations getting out, he might not care, and even come to Sana to see if she needs help.

But the Sana/Noora/Yousef situation has me quite exhausted. Sana doesn’t want to make a big deal about her feelings, because she herself is still denying them, and she still doesn’t think being with Yousef is even possible. She lets herself hope though, she lets herself consider and imagine what it would be like and she likes that picture so that’s why she is still snippy with Noora. Noora is taking what Sana wants, something which Sana was depending on coming to her, so partially Sana is also taking out her frustration with herself on Noora too. Sana is frustrated with Yousef too, because he so clearly liked her, and she wanted to, but she did a bad job acting like she didn’t like him. But apparently she did a good enough job that Yousef doubted it just enough to not want to risk it. And it’s hard. It’s hard for Sana who so depends on people reading her mind and reading her actions on more than their surface level. It’s hard for her when people misunderstand her.

About “punk´s not white”

I never imagined I would ever have to give an explanation of why the “Punk´s Not White” sticker set I did is NOT a declaration against the existence of white punks neither I’m stating that punk belongs only to POC or anything like it (though it is a spit in the face to straight white male culture replication in any scene or context). But I´ve been receiving a bunch of stupid anon messages in my inbox which I didn´t want to answer or pay attention to cause they have no point to even discuss… but there´s a limit to stupidity and racist bullshit. 

This sticker set is about a sense of pride to POC in punk, a way to make visible something not usually mentioned and most of all something I feel is important and beautiful, even more on this internet times, and this is why I chose to draw it. It makes me happy always to see how punk is adopted worldwide, most surely full of stupidity, problems, discussions and so as it almost always does, but with its infinite unexplainable power. Im not trying to be “demagogic”. Im not fighting white punx (except those writing dumb anons).

 If you can´t get that in the phrase “Punk´s Not White”  I’m being allegoric to the phrase “Punk´s Not Dead”, there´s seriously something wrong with you and the punk knowledge you claim. It´s not my will to write “Punks Not ONLY White” or “Punk May be Shared by People of all Races” or “Punk is of all Colors and Shapes and Genders and Sexualities” or any other statement because I believe it is IMPLICIT, or at least I thought so, but it seems it offended some white proud punks out there not to be included once (cant wait for macho punx asking for an explanation why I draw girls only so I can be writing a whole message talking about my personal feelings on gender and sex, my relation to feminity and a bunch of boring explanations). Writing any other statement on the stickers just won´t fit the idea because it is just not what I wanted it to sound or look like (though you may go ahead and do your own paraghraph-long stickers you owners of the DIY culture). 

I know there’s amazing people doing awesome things in punk ALL around the world today, I know there’s great people, talented people in many places, and I´d like to know more than I do, whether they´re white, brown, ruby red, olive green, self-poisoning purple, pastel pink, or jet black . I don’t need Wikipedia cut/paste articles being sent to me telling me punk is supposed to be created by white people 40 years ago, I don´t really mind, great that they did, hurray! for your punk ancestors, I probably like a bunch too. But It´s been a long way since then. By the way if we´re going to discuss history take a look to what was going on by that time in other places, dressing as trash and making loud music was not even an option for the youth world wide, and though, it happened, there are plenty of great pre-punk sounds and ideas here and there, but that is not the point…  I don´t need whitepunx telling me I´m a “poser emo” because “you’ve probably never seen a real band live”, what the hell is a real band? what kind of kinder-crust offense is that? Glad you don´t have to get the stupid VISA to go anywhere, and the lot of money it costs.  I don't even mind cause I dont even like to go much to shows anymore, I´d like to do many other things if I get to visit your land, and also, there are great unknown bands and punk scenes everywhere, though it´s not music that makes punk to me. But Im not going to go longer into personal issues cause it´ll take me forever to try and explain, even to me, what and why I am, feel or do this. as an individual and as a part of a bigger group. I understand things might have different contexts depending on where they are placed, but the idea is global. And thanks a LOT to all people who´ve supported my work and who sympathize and empathize on this drawings and on so many others. 

So beyond all this stupid issue I just make the point that punk is Not white, but the most of all: PUNK´S NOT STUPID, so leave all that eager to fight to make your point about your own self-righteousness. We´re all struggling here with ourselves and our lives and minds but we can make it easier by understanding rather than showing off…

5SOS Preference #3: Family (His Point Of View)
  • Calum Hood: "Whoa! Slow down, tiger." I say as I scoop up my two year old boy, Ryder, into my arms.
  • He giggles as he wraps his little arms around my neck while I walk into the kitchen.
  • "What's for lunch today, huh?" I ask out loud as I open the pantry with my open hand.
  • "We got Mac 'n Cheese." I smile but Ryder shakes his head very quickly.
  • "Nuh uh." He says.
  • "Okay..." I say before searching again.
  • "How about-"
  • "I got us McDonalds." A familiar voice says behind me.
  • I turn around and smile at my beautiful (Y/N), who is just glowing with pregnancy.
  • She sets the McDonald's bags on the counter.
  • "Mama!" My son squeals once he see's his mom, trying to wiggle out of my reach.
  • I laugh before setting him down and watch him run to (Y/N).
  • She kneels down and opens her arms out for him.
  • "There's my little man." She says while wrapping her arms around Ryder.
  • I smile as I watch them.
  • "Did you get me nuggets?" He asks, pulling away.
  • "Sure did." She says then kisses his cheek before getting up slowly.
  • "How about you go sit down," I say to Ryder as I walk to them. "While I make your plate, okay bud?"
  • He nods his head before storming into the dining room.
  • I grab (Y/N)'s hands in mine.
  • "Hello my love." I say before kissing her.
  • "Mmmm, hello Calum." She says, breathlessly with her eyes closed.
  • "How was your appointment?"
  • "It was good." She says with a smile.
  • "It was just 'good?'"
  • I laugh as I open the food's bag and start pulling out Ryder's fries and nuggets. She opens the other bag and starts pulling out food also.
  • "Yeah. It's just the uh same old check up on the baby." She says as she eats a fry.
  • "Well good." I say before walking to the fridge to grab the ketchup. "Everything's going alright?"
  • "Everything's wonderful." I hear (Y/N) say.
  • I close the door once I grappled the ketchup.
  • "I'm very glad to hear." I say as I squirt ketchup onto the plate.
  • "Mama! Dada! Nuggets!" Ryder shouts.
  • She laughs before grabbing his plate and walking out to our son.
  • "Here's your lunch, my prince!" I hear her say as I start grabbing out our food.
  • Ryder mumbles something that I can't understand. I bet his mouth is stuffed with a nugget.
  • "Baby?" I hear my bride call for me.
  • "Yes?" I say while squirting ketchup on my plate and hers.
  • "Can you grab Ry's toy? It's in our food bag."
  • I put my hand inside the bag and pull out some napkins and two toys.
  • Two toys?
  • I look at them both. One's a teenage mutant ninja turtle and one's a hello kitty.
  • Weird. We usually never get two toys.
  • "Uh...(Y/N)?" I ask as I walk out to the the dining room.
  • She sits next to Ryder, who is inhaling his lunch, but turns her head towards me.
  • "Did you ask for two toys?"
  • I hold to up the two toys for her to see.
  • She smirks.
  • "Calum," she says as she gets up. "The turtle is for Ryder and the kitten is for our new addition."
  • My eyes go wide and I instantly smile.
  • "A girl?" I whisper before wrapping my arms around her waist.
  • (Y/N) nods and kisses my lips.
  • "Ryder!" I say after pulling away.
  • He lifts his head up, his cheeks puffed out.
  • "You're gonna have a sister!" My wife and I say together, excitedly.
  • But we get a groan in return but we laugh.
  • Ashton Irwin: "Like this, watch daddy." I say to my son, Austin, as I pat on the pot with a beat with my youngest son, Jacob, sitting between my legs.
  • "Now you try." I say before handing it to him.
  • Austin starts banging on it, hard.
  • All three of us are sitting on the kitchen floor with pots, pans, spoons and wooden spoons surrounding us.
  • My three year old giggles at his five year old brother's actions.
  • "I'm a rockstar!" Austin shouts while banging harder.
  • "Yeah you are." I say with a laugh before grabbing a wooden spoon and a plastic bowl. "Now use these two."
  • I hand them over to him and he starts to pound again.
  • "I try." Jacob says while reaching over and grabbing a metal spoon.
  • I place a metal pot in front of him and he pats the pot gently.
  • I lean back on my hands, smiling proudly at my little musicians.
  • I'm glad it's entertaining them.
  • "Jakey, can I try?" Austin asks his brother if he could borrow his pot and spoon.
  • "What do you say?" I ask Austin.
  • "Please?"
  • Jacob holds his pot and spoon close to him.
  • "Nooo." He says.
  • "But Jacob." My eldest whines.
  • "Nooo."
  • "You have to share, Jacob." I say, sternly.
  • He pouts and then gives the pot and spoon to his brother.
  • "Thank you." Austin says before making loud noise.
  • "Here you go, bud." I say before placing a plastic bowl in front of Jacob and handing him a spoon.
  • Banging fills the kitchen again.
  • "I'm making a song daddy." Austin says, patting the pan softly.
  • "It sounds good!"
  • "What's going on here?" I hear (Y/N) ask.
  • The banging suddenly stops and I turn my head.
  • She stands with her hands on her hips and her hair wrapped up in a towel.
  • "We're making music, mommy!" Jacob says, excitedly.
  • "You are?" She asks with a smile.
  • The boys nod their heads.
  • "Soon, we're gonna be like daddy!" Austin chirps.
  • "That's great."
  • "But we're gonna be better than daddy." Jacob says while nodding his head, being completely serious.
  • "Really?" My wife says, trying not to laugh.
  • My boys all nod their heads again.
  • "Well alright. I'll let you guys get back to working. But please, keep the noise down a little."
  • "Okay mommy." Austin says.
  • "You got it, dude." Jacob says with a thumbs up.
  • (Y/N) smiles yet again, giving them a wink.
  • Then the boys start rocking again.
  • She then leaves the kitchen but I get up and follow her.
  • "You're crazy, Irwin." My wife says, obviously knowing that I'm following her.
  • "I know I am but they're really entertained." I say with a smile.
  • She turns around.
  • "You made a big mistake now." She says. "Because that's all they're gonna wanna do."
  • "I know and I'm sorry." I say before kissing her lips.
  • "Uh huh. And I hope I'm not the one picking up that mess in there Ashton."
  • "You won't. We'll pick it up." I whisper to (Y/N).
  • "Okay."
  • Then we kiss again and then the drumming stops.
  • "Austin!" I hear Jacob whine.
  • "Boys," I shout after pulling away. "You better share or no more music time."
  • "But daddy!" Austin cries.
  • Michael Clifford: "Boys, listen to daddy alright?" I kneel down to my two, four year old boys so that we're all face to face.
  • "We gotta be extra careful when we see mommy and Aubrey, okay?" I ask looking back and forth at my two twins.
  • "And quiet too?" Nick asks.
  • "Very quiet. Understand?"
  • Zach and Nick nod their heads.
  • "Good. Now let's go see your sister and mama."
  • I get up and hold both of my hands out to them, they each take a hand.
  • We walk into the hospitals sliding doors and go into an elevator.
  • "Is nana and pop pop coming?" Zach asks, looking up at me while the elevator goes up.
  • I nod my head and he shrieks.
  • "Uncle Cal and uncle Ash?" Nick asks, politely.
  • "Don't forget uncle Luke!" Zach says pointing his index finger at his brother.
  • I chuckle.
  • "They'll come later on." I say.
  • Then the elevator doors open up.
  • "This way." I say while turning us to the left.
  • Once we arrive to (Y/N)'s hospital room, I look down to my boys.
  • "You ready?"
  • They both nod their heads quickly.
  • "Mommy!" The boys whisper loudly once I opened the door. They ran to her bed side.
  • "There they are." My bride says groggily, kissing each of their heads.
  • "I missed you two so much."
  • "Where is she? Where is she?" Zach asks, jumping with excitement.
  • "She's coming, don't you two worry. Come and sit with me."
  • I walk over to them and grab Nick and set him next to (Y/N) and then Zach and set him next to her on her other side.
  • She takes each of their hands in hers.
  • "Oh and hello Michael." She smiles at me.
  • I smile and kiss her lips, getting an "ewww" from Nicholas and Zachary.
  • "Hello baby." I whisper.
  • "Mr. and Mrs. Clifford?" A voice says behind me.
  • I turn around and smile brightly at the nurse who's holding Aubrey.
  • "Whoa." I hear Zach whisper in awe.
  • I walk to her and reach for my little sunshine.
  • "Thank you." I say as I take her in my arms, cradling her.
  • She smiles and then leaves.
  • Aubrey sleeps peacefully in her pink blanket. She has on a tiny pink beanie on her little head.
  • "Hello my angel."
  • I kiss her forehead and then turn around gently for the boys to see.
  • I walk over to the bed and hand her over to (Y/N).
  • "She's so pretty." Nick whispers while watching his mom place her into her arms.
  • "And so tiny." Zach says.
  • The twins eyes never leave their sister.
  • (Y/N) smiles down at Aubrey and then up at me.
  • I smile at her.
  • "You guys like her?" I say after a few minutes of them staring.
  • I walk over to them and watch her also.
  • "I love her!" Zach says before placing a soft kiss on her head.
  • "She's a keeper." Nick says while looking up to me and nodding his head.
  • Luke Hemmings: "I found my sweet escape when I'm alone with you." I whisper-sing to my two month old baby girl.
  • Ella watches me as she blinks heavily. She's trying so hard to stay awake.
  • I chuckle lowly before kissing her soft cheek.
  • "You're not gonna give up, are you?" I ask and she squirms.
  • I sway side to side slowly, trying to make her fall asleep. Her sleepy wailing woke me up and I immediately came in to check on my princess.
  • "Go to sleep, sweetheart." I whisper to her.
  • Ella's eyelids start to droop even more and then they fully close.
  • I smile, proud of myself that I got her to finally sleep.
  • I keep swaying just in case she wakes up.
  • "She asleep?" I hear a whisper behind me.
  • I turn around slowly and find my (Y/N) leaning on the door post.
  • I smile at her and nod.
  • She walks over to me to check on our daughter.
  • "She's so beautiful." She says before kissing her head. "I love her to pieces."
  • "I hope she's a daddy's girl." I whisper while looking at my baby.
  • (Y/N) sighs.
  • "They always are."
  • I try not to laugh.
  • Ella starts to squirm a little, she makes a whimpering noise but her eyes are still closed.
  • "Shhh." I say softly to her. "Daddy's here."
  • "So is mama." My wife says with a smile.
  • "Quit being so jealous." I say to her, playfully.
  • (Y/N) shrugs.
  • We watch our little pumpkin after a few moments before laying her down in her crib.
  • "Goodnight my love." I whisper while taking (Y/N)'s hand.
  • Ella sighs happily.
  • "I want more." I say after I breathe in.
  • "What?"
  • Her grip tightens on my hand.
  • "Not now but later." I say before looking at her.
  • "Of course." She says before kissing my hand.
  • "Just think about all the other beautiful babies we'll make." I say as I lean in.
  • I peck her lips.
  • "I know but let's just worry about what we have now."
  • I nod my head.
  • "But we'll defiantly have more?"
  • "Yes, Luke." (Y/N) says before I kiss her again.
  • Man, do I love my girls.

its-tacocat-is-tacocat-things-d  asked:

Can I have an imagine where the Nordics find out that their s/o is a spy/hacker? (Tbh I don't care how they found out) Btw I love your blog!!!

Awww Thank you love!!! :’) Actually this worked out perfect. I am writing a spy story currently, so I was already in the mode to to this!


Sweden: Figuring out that his S/O was a hacker and collected info for the Government would floor him. He’d feel like such an idiot for having asked little computer questions like, “how do I log in to my email?” the Swede tracing back to everything and thinking how it was all such child’s play for his very talented S/O. He’d stay quiet as he thought about it for a minute and then ask questions, all to which his S/O would answer and explain as best they could, Knowing their boyfriend deserved to know. He taking it pretty well as he was still curious how they had gotten into the business in the first place…

Finland: In the case of Finny learning his S/O was a spy he would be a little hurt about them not saying anything, but heck that’s what spies do! Keep secrets. So he would understand. Now when they told him that they were excellent with guns and never missed their mark. That would be icing on the cake, and actually make him pretty darn impressed. Chances are at that point, his S/O had no idea of his abilities with guns either. Once that was out in the open though, the  gloves would be off and the two would discuss things more in detail on the way to the shooting range. The two making a “friendly” competition of it.

Iceland: When Icey figured out his S/O was a class one hacker, he would be more in love than he even was before. It would be as if he met his real life hero. He’d probably try to hide his fascinations and child like wonder about it, but he would fail as curiosity would just ooze from him. That and pure excitement as his partner told him about the “un-breachable” firewalls and systems they had hacked into. All for the greater good of course… Ice’s admiration off the charts more than before, he not even knowing that was possible.

Norway: Norge would be thrown off, as he was usually pretty good at reading his S/O and seemed as though everything cheeked out. When he found out they were a spy though, he would be lying if he said it didn’t intrigue him in every way. Norge being a private and somewhat mysterious guy in some ways himself. The allure of being in a covert job such as that would perk his interest big time and be pretty sexy to him as well. He would still be worried about them though, as his S/O would know this and would explain all they could to him. He knowing that it wasn’t their fault. On the inside he’d be pretty proud of them.

Denmark: When this guy discovered he was dating a spy, he would be instantly worried over them and their safety. Coming to the realization that they probably could protect themselves better than he could protect himself, but that still wouldn’t matter as he would feel responsible and a need to protect them. Yet after it was out in the open, pieces of the puzzle would come together like the “Oh can’t make date night because work is keeping me late,” phone calls with the the odd sounds in the background he’d get from time to time. He feeling kinda dumb as he never would have considered this being the reason. But, after the shock of finding out and after they had talked it through, the Dane would suddenly realize that  all this time he was sleeping with a spy ;)

anonymous asked:

I'm tired of just being told I'm cute.. I want someone to think I'm hot/sexy :c how would rfa handle this because I'm upset! I don't want to be just "cute" :''c

I understand completely. I have always been called ‘cute’ but never sexy or hot (it’s probably because I’m 5′2″ and look like I’m 12)… 

~Admin MP

There may be some NSFW in here?? Just a warning! (Looking back at when I wrote this at the beginning I should have known there WOULD be NSFW)

Yoosung:

  • He has this problem too, tbh
  • Everyone calls him adorable and cute n he’s like “but I want to be sexy??”
  • When he finds out MC feels the same way (they get called ‘cute’ ‘adorable!’ ‘precious!’ on a picture they posted where they were trying to look hot) he’s shocked
  • “But…MC, you’re super attractive!”
  • MC shoots him a pout because they’re never heard that
  • But he goes on to talk about how hot he finds it whenever MC is working on something
  • They always absentmindedly nibble on their pencil or their lips
  • And Yoosung can’t help but stare at their mouth and feel oddly flustered??
  • Especially when they bite their lip and smile at him
  • The whole time he’s explaining this he’s turning more and more red
  • After that, MC purposely runs a pen over their lips just to torture Yoosung

Seven:

  • MC and Seven are always so goofy that MC is worried Seven doesn’t find them sexy?
  • Like, they know he finds them cute
  • He always squishes their cheeks and calls them adorable 
  • But they want to be desired, they want to feel attractive!
  • One day MC is over at Seven’s, pouting because he just called them cute again
  • They see his jacket and glasses have been haphazardly thrown to the side
  • With a smirk, they put on the jacket and the glasses and are pretending to be Seven 
  • “Oh, MC, you’re soooo cute!” 
  • Huffing, they take off the glasses because they can’t see
  • Seven is standing at the doorway?
  • They make eye contact and Seven’s face is red as he stares at them in his jacket
  • “…that looks really…good on you…”
  • Seven has actually lost the ability to speak Korean 

Jaehee:

  • To be honest, Jaehee doesn’t often talk about looks 
  • Of course, she finds MC super attractive (sometimes it flusters her how attractive MC is) but she doesn’t tell MC about it
  • However, when MC comes home one day and is wearing a buttonup shirt and shorts, Jaehee can’t stop staring at their legs?
  • They’re just really long and nice…
  • MC is very irritated because all their coworkers kept saying that they were just cute and that they couldn’t be sexy if they tried
  • With a huff, MC flops on the couch, sitting and stretching their legs out on the couch
  • Jaehee’s mouth goes dry??
  • After a few more minutes of watching MC shift their legs, drawing them up or lifting them up, Jaehee can’t take it anymore
  • She just goes over to MC, her face bright red, and starts kissing up a leg
  • MC is shocked. Their face goes red too
  • “J-Jaehee?”
  • “Are you doing that on purpose…? Moving your legs so…seductively?”
  • Jaehee wastes no time taking those shorts off

Zen:

  • This man is known all over the internet as HOT, ATTRACTIVE, SEXY, SMOLDERING
  • MC is like “I am a potato”
  • But articles call them “the cute one” or “Zen’s adorable S/O!”
  • They are seething
  • Would it kill the tabloids to call them the Sexy Power Couple (which is what MC calls them in their head)?
  • One day, MC throws down a magazine that calls them and Zen an odd looking pair and casually throws out
  • “Hey, do you think we should be known as the Sexy Power Couple?”
  • Zen doesn’t even look up from taking his shoes off
  • “Of course, MC. We’re both hot, why don’t they mention it more often?” 
  • Now he looks up, a smirk playing on his lips.
  • “Maybe it is a good thing they don’t realize it… Only I want to see how sexy my MC is.”
  • MC tries to stutter out a reply but by that point Zen has made it over and is rendering them speechless

Jumin: (I hope Admin Rina is proud of me for this but I cried while writing it)

  • Kink master would call MC all sorts of names in bed
  • But MC notices he never says anything about how hot or sexy they are
  • MC decides to find out how to get him to admit it
  • One day, MC finds The Kink
  • They look Jumin in the eye and say “Alright…daddy.”
  • Jumin’s face is priceless
  • He’s in shock for the first few seconds.
  • But then he’s over to where MC is, kissing them hungrily, growling
  • “Jesus fuck, that was hot..” he mutters as he bites MC’s neck
  • MC is Smug
  • The entire time, MC is breathless as Jumin tells them how sexy they are, how hot it is when they call him that, and how attractive they look splayed out across his bed 
  • (I’ve sinned)
Jaebum x You : Defensive

Genre: Fluff
Characters: You, Jaebum (GOT7)
Summary: Jaebum is known to be protective, especially over you, his best friend that he has a longtime crush on. You tell him one day of this guy in your class who won’t stop bothering you. How is he supposed to react when you tell him to stay out of it for now while he watches this guy flirt with you in his eyes? 

Protective, but not too over-protective that it’s intolerable. That’s what Im Jaebum is, especially when it comes to you, his best friend. You didn’t notice this, because you didn’t want to go into deep theories about his actions that you’ll end up falling too deep in love with him that if he rejects you, you’ll be torn for more than a year. 

What you didn’t know is that Jaebum loves you, and had loved you for quite a while now. Thank goodness he’s sane enough to not be like other crazed people who would actually go pass the comfortable limit to have that person to themselves. Jaebum is actually sane that he’s fine seeing you hang out with other guy friends. It’s not like they’ll be attracted to you when it seems like you two are a couple. 

“Recently, this guy in my class has been too comfortable with me recently. In fact, I think he’s too playful with me that it looks like he likes me.” You told Jaebum, making his blood boil. He kept it hidden though, but it seems like he can only hold it for so long. “I don’t think he gets the hint. I don’t like him that way. I really hope he’s just playful. He’s irritating me for too long.”

“[Name],” Jaebum started, stopping you in your tracks as he smiled reassuringly at you. “If he keeps this up, tell me. I’ll talk to him." 

"Thanks, Jaebum, but if I tell you that he continues, you’ll probably end up beating him to a pulp.” You said, smirking at your half joke. “You’ve nothing to worry about anyway. I’ll beat him up before you even get to see anything. Just stay out of it, okay?”

If only he could be as calm as you were when you said that. He didn’t like the sound of this guy ever since you kept mentioning his actions. The more he bothered you, and the more annoyed you appeared when you reunited with Jaebum after dealing with that guy, he just wanted to meet this guy and tell him, totally not threatening him, to lay off your back. If things get worse and that this guy really does like you, it’ll be more than just a little talk. However, he didn’t think about what he should do if that happens. If that happens, he’ll deal with it later. 

Jaebum just happened to be passing by your class to deliver a slip to your teacher when he heard you talking to your teacher. No, not even talking, your voice seemed strained, and he could tell you were faking it when you were trying to tell her that you wanted this guy out of your group. Jaebum peered into the slightly open door and watched as the noisy classmates of yours mind their own business as your group seemed to be the only obedient one in the class. 

“Please, teach. I can only stand this kid for so long. As the group leader, you have to allow me to kick him out, right?” You said, pleadingly. 

Your teacher, being laid-back as always, sat back and chuckled to herself. “What other group could he go to? Your group is the only one that hasn’t reached the group number limit! I cannot allow for him to be kicked out. Besides, you’re the group leader, you have to find out how to fix his behavior.”

“Don’t worry, [Name]. I’m actually a good student,” the guy who sat next to you said, a smirk on his face. “If you only gave me a chance.” Judging by your annoyed expression, this seemed to be the guy you wanted to back off. Jaebum frowned, thinking to himself as he observed the situation. Should he enter and tell him off? Should he just watch for now? He already didn’t like this guy anyway! 

“I’ve given you enough chances. You won’t stop bothering me anyway, no matter what I say!” You hissed, loudly, but not loud enough that it would attract the whole class’s attention. Your fingers were twitching, as if they were arguing whether to grab your binder or to restrain. By the looks of it, you were probably going to grab it soon. 

“I see that, [Name]. That’s not gonna affect me anymore. I know you won’t really, it’s just a threat anyway, right?” The guy smirked, proud of his verbal attack. 

“You should really just stop now. [Name]’s patience is at her limit. Leave her alone,” Your other group member and friend, Naeun said to the annoying brat. ‘Not only hers, but mine too. I really don’t want to end up punching someone today…’ Jaebum thought, his hand on the door, ready to enter. He wasn’t going to just stand by and watch anymore. He was ready to knock some sense into this guy. 

“She won’t really do it, Naeun,” He said, placing his arm around you. “Besides, she and I are marri-”

Before Jaebum can even react, the guy was suddenly onto the floor, flipped over. You had grabbed his arm and yanked him over, fed up already with his actions. You kicked him up, and then grabbed your binder. With it, you repeatedly slammed your binder against his head, then with some pity, began hitting his torso instead. Some of your papers were flying out of the binder, but you didn’t care. Your face was red with anger as you gave a final slam against him, making him fall onto his side. 

“That’ll fucking teach you to leave me the fuck alone!” You growled, turning around to await your teacher’s scolding. Instead you were greeted with a smiling Jaebum and a chuckling teacher of yours. 

“Wow, [Name]. Swearing and violence at the same time? Do I really know you?” Jaebum joked as he crossed his arms. You blushed embarrassed, looking away. 

“When I was saying that I’ll beat him up, I didn’t intend for you to be here! This is a turn-off, isn’t it?” You asked, only to be responded with a comforting embrace. 

“More like a turn on, knowing that you can defend yourself without me most of the time.” You sighed in content at his response. “Why does that matter that it’s a turn off or not, anyway?" 

"A-Ah… no reason… Just ignore it, Jaebum!” You yelled. 

“Oh, [Name]? This is the Im Jaebum you’ve continuously talked about, right? Wow, you weren’t kidding! He is very handsome!” Your teacher said, hands clapped in approval. Hearing this, Jaebum smirked in triumphant as he stared you down. ’So does she like me? Maybe besides my looks?

“Wait, teach… am I in trouble for beating up a student…?” You said, looking over at that brat that sat back onto his seat, avoiding his gaze with you. 

“Well, blood wasn’t shed, that I see it. And if what I watched is correct, that was all self-defense. You’re not really in trouble, [Name]! You probably got a reward for being able to stand up for yourself.” This time it was your teacher’s turn to smirk as she used her thumb to point at Jaebum. “Having this cute fellow as your boyfriend is an ideal reward, no?" 

"I agree on that, [Name]. This is probably a weird timing to confess, but… I like you… and have been for a while.” He said, blushing. “You’re my best friend, but I felt for a while that you’re more. So, will you go out with me?" 

You stared at him in disbelief. "Y-You’re not lying, are you? Me right?” You asked, feeling a smile creeping on your face. 

“Yes, I’m being serious, for once, heh.. You’re truly the one for me.” Jaebum said, making you allow your smile to come through. 

You nodded, shyly looking away. “If you say so… Yes, I will go out with you! Sorry that you had to confess to me with my teacher being here and seeing me not really be myself…" 

"If anything, you were being yourself, and I like you for that.” Jaebum said, kissing you on the forehead, lovingly. He turned and gave the slip he was ordered to deliver to your teacher. 

“I better get back to my own class now. See you, love.” Jaebum said, making you blush. Before he headed on his way to his class, he whispered to the guy’s ear, “Don’t you think about continuing to flirt with her anyway. She’s the one I’ll end up marrying, not you. [Name]’s mine, understand?”

And with that, Im Jaebum left the classroom. It wasn’t long before he felt his phone vibrate midway his path, seeing that it was from you. He gulped nervously, but then chuckle to himself as he saw your message.

Don’t think I didn’t hear that either! You’re so corny >///<

The end.
_______

Sorry if it ended not as good. My brain fell asleep halfway.

Ask box is open for GOT7 & BTS scenarios! Ask away! You might get more of this dork too.

Yuri!!! on Ice Episode 10 (feat. my shameless fangirling)

Okay, since our crappy internet connection isn’t cooperating (and I can’t make any gifsets) with me again, I’m just gonna dump all my fangirling feels here. I need a fucking outlet for all the feels this episode had given me. I’M NOT SORRY

Brace yourselves, because this is going to be one long-ass post full of my nonsensical nonsense.

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

So, I get what you're trying to do and I think it's wonderful. But CGL can never be SFW or non-kink. It is literally a kink, it is involved with BDSM. CGL is a kink, it is a lifestyle yes, a kinky one. You may not include sex in your little space but you are still connected to the BDSM community. If you're looking for a sfw alternative, kidcore/babycore/ age regression communities are available. At least don't reblog from minors/kidcore blogs that say no CGL because you still are CGL...

Actually anon you are wrong, and only encourage us more! Let me explain why;
Societal adaptation and evolution actually does exist.
Age regression is a tree, it’s roots are THERAPY and BDSM
The branches are
📍CGL/CGB/CGP
📍Ageplay
📍CGLRE
📍FURRE
And several others I cannot think of at the moment because I have a pounding headache :(

However, there are those like you who do not understand, and only think that it is a kink. It CAN be a kink, and ageplay is 100% okay as long as it is 100% CONSENSUAL between two CONSENTING ADULTS.

Cgl+ has come a long way, and honestly I am quite proud! Wouldn’t you say you’re proud, everyone? Yet we still have a ways to go, with things like this. Just because something use to be seen as a kink doesn’t mean it is, because age regression is and has also been used as a COPING MECHANISM, recognised and recommended by therapists and psychiatrists around the world.
People also use to see being LGBT*+ as a kink, and sadly some gay+ and transgender* folks are still seen as kinks, even though it is 2016.
Yes, I know! Ridiculous isn’t it?
This strengthens my example, because while THEY USE TO BE SEEN AS A KINK, THEY NO LONGER ARE.
This is due to ★macro/micro Social Evolution/adaptation★, because these people were not inheritely sexual
(if they did or did not have sex was their business and their partners/’s business and doctors) and society eventually realized,
“OH. THIS IS NORMAL, NOT SEXUALIZING ANYONE IN THE WRONG. THIS ISN’T PEDOPHILIA/ETC”.
And like any good garden, we plucked the weeds and we let our roots grow strong, and we let our braches flourish, and we let our blossoms bloom.

This particular branch was nutured by mod azzy and I, Mod Alex, and the new FURRE blog corun by mod Leo/Lion and I, Mod Alex, from small saplings that had been seeded in the age regression tree.
It does exist.
It is existing.
It isn’t hurting anyone, and in fact, it was nutured for the exact opposite 😋!

So please excuse me anon if this offends you, when I ask you, and ask you to ask yourself:

Why would you invalidate a safe space specifically created for survivors, underage peoples, and people wishing to be free of what you claim to be a “kink”? They only want to be safe, so why are you invalidating them?

Thank you for your time, and please always remember to stay safe honeybees!
AntiCgl and AntiSafe people may or may not mean harm, but really they are simply uneducated. They are small saplings in a weed infested garden that we must tend 😊
Love always,
-Mod Alex

#AntiSafe
#mod alex

Also, to anyone who dare trample my precious blossoms (those of the community- nay, the FAMILY mod azzy and I have built together), by harrassing them, insulting them, etc-

Why? Because you are inferior to them?
Of course you are. They (You, my lovelies) are roses, daises, peonies, foxgloves, trumpets of angels-
And you aren’t even weeds, because at least weeds can be saved.
Please educate yourself, or ask someone for help. Think before you act, because karma comes around always.

And to my precious flowers, to our beautiful and handsome and our gorgeous blossoms-
Don’t let anyone tell you how to bloom.
You just do you, honeybee, because your soul already knows what makes you happy🌹🌱🌷
-Alex
#mod alex
#Q and A
#Rant
#Garden

anonymous asked:

I've been dealing with depression lately and I don't know what to do. I've tried talking to my parents about it but they shrug it off saying its normal because I'm a teenager and I'm stressed. But I'm constantly struggling within myself and I don't know why. I feel like no one will listen. I've been struggling with self harm recently and I hate it because I know it won't fix anything but it's the only thing that makes me feel something. I just don't know what to do.

oof…

Nony… I want you to understand something very, very important: You’re not alone, and hurting yourself is never the solution.

I know you are screaming for something to remind you what it’s like to be a person, to feel worth something, to be noticed, even if it’s by your own body, because you’re harming it, but you have to breath through the pain of being so agonizingly distant, and remember that you have people who are there for you. If it’s me, fine, but don’t close off, don’t shut down, and never, ever step across that threshold again. You’re better than the pain in your soul, and your greater than the void left in the wake of your sorrow.

Your parents are right to a very limited extent, you are a teenager, and your current years are in fact the shittiest you’ll ever endure… It gets better. That said, your feelings are not “normal” they’re perfectly acceptable, and you’re not alone in them, but they’re certainly not something to be brushed off, much less berated or ignored. You’re a font of brilliance of some kind, and if you can just harness that thing you love, that think you do well, that thing that allows you to channel that pain, that hate, that anger, that sorrow, that whatever may be, you’ll find that your soul will sing for the moments you do that thing. For me it’s art… drawing, writing, acting, singing, dancing… In those things, the only things I’ve ever been good at, I am a god. I am free. I am the master of my own fate, life, and mind, and I can’t be stopped. Find that thing for yourself. Find it, hold it close, and never, ever let it go.

I was told at around your age, by my guidance counselor, wonderful waste of tissue and breath that she was, that I would never graduate high-school, never go to college, and never amount to anything, because I failed algebra 1 twice, and had a D in chemistry… my GPA was a 1.8 at that point. I was undiagnosed ADD inattentive, Clinically depressed, and in dire need of counseling and anger management… I had already started cutting, was stealing like it was my job, lying on the regular to make my life seem better, because I hated everything that I was, and everything I knew, and the only thing I had going for me was that the douche-bags who might have picked on me to my pudgy, pimpled face were well aware of the fact that I could hurt them. Badly. I was hate and rage incarnate… That guy who got in one, maybe two fights in his whole adolescent life, left unscathed, and never had to fight again because of the other guys? Yeah. Me. (Let that be a lesson, don’t pick on the kid who is perpetually about to snap. You’ll throw a punch, (s)he’ll throw the accumulated force of years holding everything back.)

Cut forward 6 months: Dianne Appolito, the most amazing woman I’d ever known prior to my stepmother, and Sarah, became my therapist. She cut through years of neglect, loss, self-loathing, emotional abuse, fear, trust issues, and a myriad of the other fine issues that made up my brain-fuck cocktail, and had me tested, and ultimately diagnosed for the brain type I have (because ADD is not a disorder, it’s a different type of brain). I got medicated, I got therapy, I got happier, I got better, I got the first and only perfect score on a portion the TAKS test my junior year. I moved schools, I found other talents, I excelled in all that I did. I got focused, I got driven, I got back.

9 years, and a shit-ton more life later: 
I’ve been on national television for 3 seasons of a series on a network that doesn’t really put people of my demographic in roles like I had. I’ve been to 3 separate continents. I’ve met some of the most amazing, talented, brilliant people on the planet. I’ve had a drink with Sir Ian, I’ve shot the shit with Emmy Rossum, I’ve hung out with Tia Mowry, and I’ve been given a pep talk by Brandy. I’ve trained in 10 different forms of armed combat. I’ve had the esteemed honor to have been able to audition for, now, over 3,000 professional productions, and be a member of the Actor division of SAG-AFTRA. I’ve lost the ability to walk unassisted, been told I’d never fight, lift weights, or move like I had again, and stood with sword, and shield in hand a year later in defiance. I’ve stood face to face with the very darkest sides of myself, fallen so low, I never thought I’d recover, and have somehow arrived a better man… Not a perfect one, some days I question if a good one, but certainly a better one.

Never. Not ever is there a point when giving in to the desire to harm, destroy, or end yourself is the best, or even an acceptable option. Be greater. Be more. Be the soul you were meant to be, not the hole you’ve been forced to be.

Stand firm. We are the stuff of legend. Stardust is our progenitor, and we will do those fiery globes proud in our exploits, and explode the ether with our furious love of the world around us. Give wholly into the things you love, and your legacy will be greatness, even if your mind says you’re less.

When you’ve spent years thinking you’re nothing, it’s incredibly hard to find something to believe in. When you find it, my god, please, please cling to it. For me, as I said, it was my art. For you? I don’t know… Math, physics, programming, chemistry, cooking, baking, mixing drinks, philosophy, anthropology? There are so many varied things, and so many facets of each that you have the opportunity to dive into wholly…

Live. Fight. Love. Create. You owe this to yourself. You owe it to the boy or girl who will one day ask you how you made it through, just as I owe it to you.

“Do not go gentle into that good night.
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.”

anonymous asked:

okay so i'm doing a rewatch and i had heavy HEAVY stydia goggles when i watched for the first time but i'm realizing that s3 they are really great friends and can i just say how proud i am of stiles for respecting her r/s with aiden/like i don't think he says anything negative to her about it? also i feel like s3 is where everyone stops talking about stiles' crush casually, even he stops, and i think the first times it's alluded to since s2 is in s5 when scira was talking! that scene is a gift!

Yes yes, all of this! I’ve always been so proud of how Stiles handles jealousy… he’s pretty quiet about how much he hates Jackson because it isn’t his place, but even when Lydia is broken up with Jackson and literally insulting him in front of Stiles, he never says “Well, why were you with that douchebag?” or “Lydia, he doesn’t treat you right. I would.” Stiles would NEVER. He says to her “Well, I think you look beautiful.” Not because he wants to undermine Jackson, but because he wants someone to tell her. He can’t understand why Jackson wouldn’t dedicate every moment of every day to this girl. 

And then when Stiles and Lydia are finally friends, he is fully aware of the fact that Lydia is sleeping with Aiden and Stiles never, ever makes comment on it. He doesn’t preach. He doesn’t ask her to leave Aiden for him. Lydia kisses him and Stiles never, ever once brings up Aiden or asks her for anything more. Stiles could be watching Lydia grind on someone or make out with someone and he would never feel like he had earned the right to complain– which, technically, he has not. The only time I think he would step in is if he thought that some guy was physically harming her, but he knew that this wasn’t the case with Aiden, so he didn’t go near that. Because it wasn’t his right or his business. I’m so proud. He handles his feelings for her so well, and the fact that he hasn’t brought it up since the second episode of 3a just… kills me. The fact that Scott and Kira’s dialogue reminded the audience of his crush. That’s how far Stiles and Lydia have come. 

Seriously, though, Stiles values his and Lydia’s friendship too much to ever bring up that crush again. Even if it’s not a crush anymore. Even if it’s love now, and it’s different, and it’s like he fell in love with her not because of the crush, but aside from that. He wouldn’t bring it up unless he knew she wanted him to, and I think that’s the best part of all of it. sadjeklfjslkd MY KIDS. 

a few (almost) coherent thoughts on Mojo

Ok guys, I think enough time has passed, I am now able to spell things

I saw Friday’s (Jan. 24) evening performance - dress circle, front row, A5, Saturday (Jan. 25) matinee - front row stalls (A5), and evening - stalls (C9). All offer great views.

First of all, I think it’s important you know that I’ve had my tickets booked for 90 days so waiting has been really really hard. Then, here’s some unwanted and possibly bad advice: if any of you feel that there’s something that you absolutely must do and cannot continue living without doing it, no matter what everyone else says or does, go do it. You know how you feel when you gift someone something? Well, gifting something to yourself is double that. That’s enough encouragement, you get the point.

arrival: I arrived in London at around 10AM on Friday Jan. 24, checked in and went straight to the theater to pick up my tickets. After wondering the streets for about an hour I finally saw the Mojo sign and I’m telling you, I nearly fainted, I was all dizzy, my heart was pumping like crazy - I’m still not sure if I’ve maybe had a heart attack - and for about 5 minutes I didn’t really know if I landed in fantasy world or not. Picked up my tickets then proceeded to identify the main exits. I was surprised the Stage Door is like really far from the main entrance, it’s clear why Colin is so rarely seen leaving. Circled the theater twice, identified surrounding streets, pubs and restaurants where the cast’s been spotted, ran into a parking security guy a few times - he always asked me if I’m maybe lost to which I’ve always replied no, I’m… just… walking…?!

how I was: for the first one right?, I was standing there, front row dress circle, and I was so excited, I think I tumblred something, I don’t even remember what or how I wrote it because my hands were shaking and everyone else was just enjoying their night out and I was pale like an autumn’s leaf, staring at the curtain and trying to calm down… Tom was the first one on, then Daniel and Rupert with their double act, by this point I was almost a human being again, they were hilarious. It quickly went to hell because Colin entered the stage and my heart decided to do things I could HEAR, and I was really embarrassed, they seemed so loud to me that I thought everyone else could hear them. For his 1st  scene it was just him, I mean world war III could’ve happened inside the auditorium and I wouldn’t have known about it.

how Colin acted: HIS ACTING IS IMPECCABLE. He wasn’t Colin anymore, he was Skinny. His posture, the way he moved… there was nothing of Colin there. He never broke character and always kept his chin a certain way, upping his lower lip so that his face always looked like he was disgusted by, well, life I guess?! His voice, his god damned voice, gave me chills throughout. He was swearing a lot (his fucks are forever imprinted in my memory) and his voice was quite deep. I never really noticed this in the 1st performance but for my 2nd and 3rd it was clear - there was a lot of Dragoon in his voice, which I did not mind a bit.

favorite Colin bits:

  • the one with the bad breath killed me (delivered with twitchy eyes and open mouth gum chewing) and when Potts told him his breath smelled like English roses I thought he must be right, that’s exactly what Colin’s breath must be like
  • “he comes up behind me on the door, squeezes by bollocks, not playful, really grippin’, and you know when you’re not crying but water comes to your eyes” - this one had me on the floor, his face and the way he kept looking left and right, OMG, he delivered these perfectly
  • “meanwhile, what’s he doin’, he’s at the bar, he’s leanin’ on the fuckin’ bar” (referring to Baby) - as he kept leaning on the handrail, chewing his gum open mouth and all
  • “BABY: Skinny, you look great! You look like a prince! Where’d you get those trousers?” while Colin was leaning and now basically posing against the jukebox, all proud and full of himself + the next bit with the “kiss my pegs” when Colin went into a swears rampage – that was just music to my fangirl ears
  • “poor fucking man! poor fucking man! poor fucking man!….!” - everyone else was talking at the same time on stage, but Colin was almost chanting these, he was mesmerizing - in front row stalls A5 I was standing a meter away from where he was leaning on the wall so yeah, I felt a bit stalkerish not looking at anything else
  • the death scene was a masterpiece, that’s all I can say, Colin had tears in his eyes – I could see them from the dress circle -, when he broke down crying about fucking up his new trousers, I really felt sorry, I mean I really got into it – I teared throughout and I wasn’t the only one – no one was laughing.

how Colin looked: i’m sorry but for this bit I’ll fangirl a lot because there is a LOT to fangirl about

It was my first time seeing Colin live and I cannot even begin to describe how amazingly gorgeous he is, God must’ve spent ages on him. His face is much much better live than in any photo or movie, he is just adbsadjnasdjna-able.

As for the jukebox scene – Jesus mother fucking Christ and Mary and Joseph, I mean, I can’t even, I don’t know how to put into words, his legs ARE muscles, he has some veiny things going on on his legs, I don’t really understand how or why they’re there but he’s sexy as fuck. I know this will sound all kinds of creepy but I’m actually thinking he had things stuffed in his pants because I can’t even… I really tried to be a good fangirl and not look, but it would’ve taken the willpower of 10000 men to do so, and there was only one of me so you can’t blame me.

Then later on in the show, and I’m actually surprised no one’s mentioned it before I saw the play, Colin comes down the stairs in a sleeveless shirt and by now I am basically crying I did not expect that at all. He is sculpted, I mean Greek god sculpted, his arms are again muscles + veins, and his back, his motherfucking back, and neck, asdhdflsffd, I just don’t understand HOW so I give up.

everything else:

  • front row seats in the stalls are actually pretty great, I was on the left side so when Baby threw Skinny on the floor, by the bins, right in front of my frickin’ face, I was no longer living I think, my circulation ceased for about 3 minutes or so; also Sweets and Potts tried to throw up on me so there’s that
  • front row dress circle - right side, is also great, you can see everything, expressions, tears, Colin’s bum at some point, so yeah
  • stalls, row C, middle - perfect
  • they play it differently every time, it’s no wonder the reviews are so different: lines, placement on stage, gestures - I did notice some of them changing from one performance to another
  • the jukebox scene was played differently each time, but none of them seemed sexual. While the curtain is down in the interval, just before act II, I could see Ben going to Colin (at the jukebox) for a short 5 seconds, I’m guessing they’re establishing how they’re going to play out the scene. You can also see him brandishing the cutlass, getting into it, just before the curtain goes up
  • Ben licked three of his fingers after handing out the toffee apples - it was a bit of a turn on - I only saw him doing it in one of the 3 times I went

Ben Whishaw, Rupert Grint, Brendan Coyle and Tom Rhys Harries

  • I’ve heard a lot about Ben’s acting, so my expectations were high and they were met. Ben was great, I haven’t seen him in many things but he was very very good. Convincing demented act and his voice and tone were weirdly captivating. After the jukebox scene, when he’s half naked sitting on the desk, you notice he’s also well built - you can also see his heart beating if you’re in the front row left, don’t know, I just thought that was cool :)
  • I didn’t really know what to expect from Rupert, I’d only seen him in HP, but he’s also very good. His double act with Daniel was amazing and I actually think his character (Sweets) helped him out a lot. He had me at his first “Don’t eat no more of the white ones” and his confused “Wha’?"s throughout the play are great. His reaction to being called a "not that bright / tosser” (by Baby) is hilarious.
  • I know nothing about Brendan Coyle, it may be that I’ve seen him in some films, but I can’t really remember. He was good, I especially enjoyed his comic scenes (“What like? What like? Like someone sawing your boss in two outside the fucking window!”). At my 3rd viewing, when he threw himself over dead Skinny, he did it so differently, he was so affected, it intensified my cries, it was very well played.
  • Tom is only on stage for about 15 minutes, 13 of which he’s gagged and hanging upside down. Props to him for doing it for that long and still being able to act and yell a rage-full “fuck you!” immediately after coming down. He also went up the stairs right after so my mother hen instinct kicked in - I followed him up hoping he’d get there ok. I hope I can see him again in other plays.

and DANIEL MAYS, Daniel fucking Mays!

I have fallen in love with Danny Mays and I can’t get up.

His performance is absolutely brilliant, second only to Colin’s (and I may not be very objective on this front), the man must’ve been born or stage or something because when he is on you CANNOT look away. I actually dedicated my second viewing to him (minus some Colin scenes) and well I did, because he is acting even when he’s standing still and not saying anything. He was hilarious and there are some bits that had everyone laughing in tears (“I have my own plate of shit to eat today thank you”, “I’m a cunt […] that doesn’t make me Al Capone”, “Kiss his pegs!” and a lot lot more). He was sweating a lot during act I, he really does put everything into it. Not to mention he’s also one of those men that are handsome before you’ve seen them act and sexy as hell afterwards. 

crazy fangirly things:

  • so basically on Friday I saw Tom, Ben and Colin arriving: Tom in full sports gear ran right past us before anyone could spot him, Ben spent about 20 minutes taking pictures, signing things and talking to everyone and Colin was at the stage door for about 2 minutes, I have no idea where he came from, he just appeared there :), he’s ghostly like that. Then, after the evening performance, I was standing outside on the steps of the main entrance, having my much needed nicotine dose, when Colin speed walked right past me… didn’t go after him though, it was raining and I didn’t want to bother him
  • Saturday I saw Tom and Ben arriving again - they both spent a lot of time with people signing everything and taking selfies :) then Danny Mays showed up and I lost it (I had already seen one performance), I don’t know how I muscled enough strength to ask him to sign my program and asfhsdfskfnslf, I think I had a friend take a picture of me with him, I just really can’t remember because I was busy fangirling over the man
  • I hope no one was looking when I reached on stage and grabbed one of Danny’s discarded cigarettes and 1 (one) sequin
  • an older lady was standing next to me in row C stalls and she was only looking at Colin… I thought “that’s it, that’s what he does!”

Reading the play is my new favorite thing because now I can just relive it my head whenever I want, I hear them say the lines, I see Danny doing not human things with his legs, etc.

So I guess this is it, all the ramblings, if there are more things (that I can actually describe and not just mumble) I’ll post them.

Oh, and my heart is still in London so I’m going back for it on the 6th.

and here’s Colin, got in the queue just in time to rest my back on him:

michelangehoe  asked:

hi! a few weeks ago, you helped assure me that i don't like boys at all, and that it was just compulsory heterosexuality. but recently, i've been scared that i don't actually like girls at all.. i feel like i'm forcing it because i wanna be gay so bad or something. like i find myself consciously seeking out girls to look at and not letting myself look at boys anymore (esp fictional) bc i'm scared that i'll feel something for them. i'm scared that i'm just trying too hard to be "trendy" or (1)

something. but i also feel like it’s too late to go back and say i’m straight again, and i am proud of my sexuality. but i feel like that pride could also be a part of wanting so badly to be gay. wanting to be different, if you know what i mean. i like looking at girls, but i’m not sure if i’m sexually attracted to them. like i don’t masturbate to the idea of certain girls, and i don’t feel butterflies when i look at them. so while i feel like i am sapphic, i’m scared that i’m just aesthetically attracted to girls, and not actually gay at all. but i also find myself wanting to get to know certain girls and wanting to be around them, and i want a girlfriend really badly, but could that just be because i like the idea of being gay? i also find myself checking out girls, at least i think so, like i’ll admire their body for much longer than my friends do. is this lesbophobia that i’m feeling? i’m so confused. tl;dr i think i’m attracted to girls but i’m afraid i’m forcing it:/

Honestly, if you ‘want to be gay’, chances are that you are gay but feel like it’s out of reach, or forbidden to you, and that there are obstacles.

Many girls coming to terms with their sapphism think that sapphism can be forced on girls just like attraction can be forced on men. But it works differently, because we’re taught and constantly reminded that we’re supposed to be attracted to boys. So even when we’re not really attracted to them, we force it to fit in, not to be bothered, etc. As to attraction for girls, it’s never supported, and rarely accepted by society. So when we do feel attracted to girls, it’s not because we feel contrived, it’s really unlikely that it’s forced. Wanting to be different is not enough a reason for you to wrongfully believe you’re gay !

I understand how upset you are, fearing the possibility to find yourself crushing over a boy again. Your tension and self-restrictions must be very confusing, so I think you need to be reassured that you’re on a journey, and that your lesbianism will seem fragile at some points. In that case, being upset and feeling the need to turn to a boy is absolutely normal. Like you said “it might be to late to go back and say I’m straight again” -you say that as if it’s a reassuring possibility. Straightness can be a safety net and cutting ties with the privilege is always difficult. It’s not wrong or shameful to face doubts and uncertainty.

As you’re still questioning and facing heavy doubts, it’s absolutely normal not to feel attraction (sexual, romantic) in a way that’s clear and strong. You’re certainly repressing many feelings, or simply still used to dismiss them.

Once again, if the idea of being gay is appealing, follow the appeal and explore it. It’s okay to be scared and unsure, the goal would be to grow more confident over time !! It might take months. Be patient and take little steps. Don’t rush anything thinking that you shoulf feel like a True Lesbian 100% after only a few weeks !!!

I’m with you and still here if you need support,

- S