and i am so bad in science

Headcanon spam

these are all the headcanons with which I am spamming the Winterhawk chat on Discord >:D

1. Clint absolutely loves romantic comedies and subscribes to the Hallmark channel

if Bucky arrives before the first commercial break he is allowed to veto; if he arrives after he is doomed

he mostly pretends to be pissy about this, but on occasion he curls up next to Clint and arranges them so they’re wrapped around each other as comfortably as possiblehe has it down to an exact science now

he does this on very very good and very very bad days

on average days he sits at the kitchen counter and passive aggressively drinks beer at Clint 

2.  I have also decided that they fail the broccoli challenge

not because they are bad at communicatingbut because Clint does not approve of eating tiny weird trees and is not above using deafness as an excuse not to receive messages

Bucky takes his revenge by buying bananas and leaving them around the flat

(Clint doesn’t mind eating them but he hates when they’re over ripe and thinks they smell weird)

(Bucky does not eat them at all because they DO NOT TASTE RIGHT)

(He is attempting to persuade Bruce to genetically engineer bananas like they are SUPPOSED to be)

(Bruce has given up on arguing that that is not, in fact, what he does, and has instead written BANANAS in really big letters on the whiteboard so he can tell Bucky that it’s on the to do list)


(There is also an argument that starts out BETTER BULLET-PROOF ARMOR, continues through STOP GETTING SHOT, takes a surprising left turn through HAN SHOT FIRST and ends in HHGTTG quotes and drawings of Deadpool)

ebonyheartnet  asked:

Muder dad, I have a not so little brother who likes murder strut (and run after small jet-powered children) in 6" heels, but he will not teach me his secrets. 😢 I am a sad bean, because I fall flat on my face if I try anything that's over 3" that isn't a wedge. How did you learn not to face plant?

practice and nazi science, my friend. i don’t recommend the nazi science route though. bad call. 

when you walk in heels, it’s tempting to put your whole foot down at once like you do with flats–or like you would with wedges. there’s a bit of a gentle roll to it, and if you have a single continuous sole, that’s okay.  but actually with heels you want to hit heel first, then toe–you should hear that two-stage click sound as the front and back of your foot impact separately. also, you want to keep your weight really poised; your spine straight but not stiff, and your weight more on your toe than your heel; your heel is going to be wobblier. think of something pulling upwards from the top of your head and between your shoulderblades.  if you can, do heeled boots–weakness in the ankle is what gets people a lot of the time, and even short boots will be more stable. 

if you want that hip sway, walk on a line like you’re on a balance beam. lions do this–they place their paws all along the same axis. stepping into the same centerline will push your hips side to side as you walk. it is indeed very murder-strut-y. 

when you run in heels, you run on tiptoe–your actual heel pretty much never contacts the ground. same with walking on grass–it’s exhausting, but you literally balance on just the balls of your feet so your stiletto doesn’t puncture the ground.  when you kick in heels, you kick stiletto first–otherwise whats even the point of wearing knife shoes. 

beauty is pain. and pain is heels. 

source: drunken shenanigans. so many drunken shenanigans. tony got science involved, and pepper provided expertise. steve is weirdly good at the can-can in heels, just for the record. 

you can’t know this many badass ladies who fight in heels and not have drunken conversations on how exactly they pull it off. they are a source of wonder and mystery, and the drunkvengers are determined to someday discover the secrets of heelfighting.

anonymous asked:

Hh this week is so bad for focusing its almost the end of school?? Why do we have to work?? Anyways can u do some ADHD lance headcanons if its not too much of an inconvinience thank

bro I’m still basking in my summer I’ve been on break for like a month now. I love being a graduated senior

  • Lance can’t leave anything alone lol.
    • Bug bites? Scratch ‘em.
    • Friend looking down? Bother them until they tell you what’s up.
    • Button?
  • He’s a SKINNY BOY because of his meds. Very lanky. That’s why his jacket has so many pockets in it; he likes to pack snacks like he’s a paranoid squirrel in the middle of a Canadian winter.
  • Lance was GOD TIER in his Creative Writing class because his brain is able to conjure up the most off-the-wall entertaining metaphors so his writing was always fun to read.
    • He’s not too hot at poetry though, but he’s trying.
  • Lance in every math class: Why are they teaching us this?? It’s not like we’ll ever use it.
    • Lance, five minutes later, staring at vectors or some shit flashing across his windshield as he dive bombs during a simulation: Aw, man. 
  • Don’t get me wrong though, he’s still good at math. There’s something comforting about how there’s always an answer waiting for you at the end of the problem. So much of life is based on subjectiveness, or preconceived notions, but math? You just have to work hard enough and focus long enough to get your prize. And Lance has determination in spades, lol.
    • That being said he’s either like, zipping through a complex problem because he’s hyperfocusing like a goddamn champ, or he’s using his fingers to count out 5 + 6 because he can’t remember what numbers look like in his head. #Relatable
  • Lance can speedrun his mouth like a goddamn champ without even thinking. Hours later, when he’s alone and in the shower, everything he said suddenly floods back in and he’s just like Why Am I Alive.
  • When he was a kid, a lot of his symptoms were passed off as him being a rowdy boy. And yeah, Lance IS a Rowdy Boy, but he also… lost a lot of time because he wasn’t diagnosed and helped sooner.
    • Lance, age 16: Y’know… If I’d been diagnosed as a kid and gotten my accommodations sooner… I bet I would’ve gotten into Honors Math in the sixth grade.
    • Hunk: Dude.
    • Lance, teeth gritted: I could’ve gotten that science award.
  • He’s really, really bad at remembering to take his medication. I mean like, once he’s settled into a routine he’s fine because he takes them automatically, but if there’s any sort of disturbance to his schedule… lmao.
    • Person: How do you forget to take your meds??
    • Lance: Well, the funny thing is, I take my meds to remember to take my meds. So you can kind of see how this can be a problem. Asshole.
  • Lance: Okay guys, let’s play a fun game called ‘Am I Zoning Out Because Of My Meds, or Is It Dissociation Hour?’
    • Pidge: This doesn’t sound fun at all.
    • Lance: Yeah well imagine living it!! lol

Almost every time someone asks me what major I am, when I tell them “physics and chemistry” they are shocked, telling me how smart I must be. Occasionally making a self-deprecating joke about how they would never be able to manage hard sciences or how they were always bad at math.

I get sick of it. Not just because I hear it so much, but because it goes to show that people still honestly believe that science and mathematics are only meant for geniuses. That these are disciplines you just “get” rather than work at.

So whenever I answer that question and get no reaction I’m taken aback. Admittedly, some of it is because it fails to validate my desire to be considered smart. But it surprises me mostly because it suggests that maybe there is some shred of hope that people understand.

Understand that something like math is a field that must be worked at, much like any other. Whether it’s science or humanities. To be good at something you must work. Intellect alone can only take you so far. That being in one of these fields does not make you special.

It’s humbling. Something that physicists and mathematicians need to experience more regularly, to be perfectly honest.

These fields can be accessible to everyone, not just the intellectual elite.

someone talk plastic with me please.

hello yes i want to talk about plastic but i’ve bored everyone i know irl away so if you want to talk about plastic or are ok with me infodumping hmu please.

we can talk about glass transition and heat transfer and vitrification and warpage. i am willing to talk about any plastic. PLA, ABS, PVA, any plastic in the PE family including PET, nylons. I’ll even go oldschool and talk bakelite.

anonymous asked:

Did you see The Mummy 2017? What did you think of Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde in the movie?

So! Universal is trying to use The Mummy to jumpstart their own Marvel-style cinematic universe called “”””””The Dark Universe””””””” using all of their old Hollywood movie monster characters, i.e. Dr. Jekyll, Frankenstein, Dracula. The main problem with this is that, while all these characters fall under the general category of “Late Victorian supernatural/scientific romance monsters,” their stories really have nothing to do with each other, and they’ve only really “interacted” in old-timey spoof comedies like Abbott and Costello. 

Universal’s solution to this is to create an organization–a society, if you will–of supernatural monster-catchers headed up by Dr. Jekyll. Which is not … exactly??? the premise of my webcomic The Glass Scientists but it’s really too close for comfort. For reference, the premise of TGS is:

‘The life and times of a ragtag group of mad scientists and their enigmatic leader, Dr. Henry Jekyll’

The idea of literary characters forming a super group is not new–the obvious example being League of Extraordinary Gentlemen–but it’s a pretty weird decision to make Dr. Jekyll the leader of this group. If you think about it, the whole damn point of his character is his mental instability. That’s why in properties like League of Extraordinary Gentleman and The Avengers (the Hulk being a pretty close analogue for J+H) Jekyll is generally seen moping on the sidelines. That’s kinda where he belongs.

I broke this rule in TGS because TGS is ultimately Jekyll’s story, and his decision to found the Society for Arcane Sciences reflects his totally unrealistic self-image of himself. He’s placed at the top so he has the farthest to fall. Most of the drama revolves around Jekyll and his decisions, and when his story ends, TGS ends. It’s not meant to be a DARK!!!! UNIVERSE!!!!! used to churn out as many Blockbuster-y action movies as possible a la the Avengers. 

So why would they choose Dr. Jekyll as the  leader of this Dark Universe Magic Science Detective Agency? I literally don’t know??? I am genuinely curious to see transcripts of the meetings that led to this decision?? And full disclosure, I haven’t paid to see the thing yet, but I am pretty sure it’s bad because they chose this bland rectangle man to play him:

Ugh!!!! UGGGGGH!!!!! Look at him! He’s so BORING! He is a rectangle face boy who is so uninteresting to look at that I am crying of boredom!! Now I know how Les Mis fans felt when this man with the not singing and the scowly face acting was cast as their beloved Javert. 

Why does he do the CG creepysmile? Does he think he can spooky-scare his way into my heart? Foolish man! He cannot! But wait it gets worse

AAAAAAAGH! Please let that not be Hyde! Someone please tell movie studios that roaring man + spooky make up + curly hair (????) does not equal a compelling character!! I can already tell they are going to try to make Hyde into some one-dimensional scary monster man and the audience is going to be so bored! 

Apparently this version of Dr. Jekyll is already so hated that the reveal of his name elicited impromptu boos from the audience, and it is very?? VERY?? SAD?? to hear my precious child greeted with the kind of hatred usually reserved for M. Night Shyamalan. 

Now granted: like 95% of Jekyll and Hyde movies out there are total garbage. I tend to just ignore them because they’re usually super cheap indie movies that nobody sees. But people WILL go see The Mummy and get (rightfully) super judgy about it because it’s a big budget Hollywood summer tent pole movie. 

And it’s inevitably going to affect how people see the character and–possibly????–the very specific idea of Jekyll as the leader of a magic science society. At the very least, it’s gonna make studios super hesitant to greenlight any idea that has even the slightest whiff of Jekylldom. So. That sucks!

TL;DR: I am very grumpy about this movie and it looks dumb. I’m not going to support it financially but I am also very petty and would totally hate-read a play-by-play essay of all the stupid stuff that goes on in it. 

Imagine Spock being smitten with you

“So you’re smitten, Spock.”

Leonard watched the Vulcan’s eyes narrow to the ground, as the two waited for help to come beam down for them. 

“I don’t understand-”

“-it means you like Y/N. You’re in love with her, hell she’s a real catch. Intelligent, beauty and she can beat Jim at chess,” Leonard smirked over at the science officer, who let a small smile escape his lips. 

The doctor chuckled to himself and shook his head. “You got it bad, man.”

Spock’s eyes flickered over to Leonard and he sighed. “I suppose it seems that I am indeed smitten.”

consider this

Prussia takes new little Germany to his first meeting

And everyone fREAKS THE FUCK OUT because they think it’s HRE who’s supposed to be DEAD

And so they start arguing and yelling and throwing their scientific journals at each other because no one can be brought back from the dead

And tiny Germany is so frightened and he tries asking his big brother questions like “why am I supposed to be dead?” “Why are they so mad at you?” “Did you do something bad?” “Why is he so scary?” And Prussia kinda skirts around this because he doesn’t want to explain to his brother he was actually a science experiment and he used to be someone else and he has to answer everyone else’s questions. 

So Romano of all people, Romano who wasn’t involved, Romano who was intrigued by this tiny resurrected nation, Romano who was surprisingly very calm and quiet during this, goes over to tiny Germany and pulls him gently away, trying to keep him out of harms way. He calms tiny Germany down and tries his best to answer his questions, and leads him out of the meeting room to the coffee room and makes him hot chocolate with lots of sugar and whipped cream and marshmallows. Within the hour tiny Germany has calmed down and is asleep on the elder’s lap. 

Years later, Germany wasn’t able to recall which brother was the one who helped him out that first meeting, and just assumes it was Veneziano because he was the nicer one. 

Romano hasn’t stopped hating himself. 


Dylan’s journal

1: Fact: People are so unaware…. well, ignorance is bliss I guess…. that would explain my depression. - Dylan
A Virtual Book
By: Dylan
Properties: This book cannot be opened by anyone except Dylan (some supernatural force blocks common people from entering).
2: The 4 stages from within: most, few, some, none
Me is place outside all the boxes. 
3: El Thoughtzos
Ah yes, this is me writing … just writing, nobody technically did anything, just I felt like throwing out my thoughts - this is a weird time, weird life, weird existence. As I sit here (partially drunk with a screwdriver) I think a lot. Think … think … that’s all my life is, just shitloads of thinking … all the time … my mind never stops … music runs 24/7 (except for sleep), just songs I hear, not necessarily good or bad, & thinking … about the asshole - in gym class, how he worries me, about driving, & my family, about friends & doings with them, about girls I know (mainly - & -) how I know I can never have them, yet I can still dream … I do shit to supposedly ‘cleanse’ myself in a spiritual, moral sort of way (deleting the wads on my computer, not getting drunk for periods of time, trying not to ridicule/make fun of people (-) at school), yet it does nothing to help my life morally. My existence is shit to me - how I feel that I am in eternal suffering, in infinite directions in infinite realities. Yet these realities are fake - artificial, induced (?) by thought, how everything connects, yet it’s all so far apart … & I sit & think … science is the way to find solutions to everything, right? I still think that, yet I see different views of shit now - like the mind - yet if the mind is viewed scientifically … hmm
I dwell in the past … thinking of good & bad memories. 
4: A lot on the past though … I’ve always had a thing for the past - how it reacts to the present & the future - or rather vice versa. I wonder how/when I got so fucked up w my mind, existence, problem - when Dylan Bennet Klebold got covered up by this entity containing Dylan’s body … as I see the people at school - some good, some bad - I see how different I am (aren’t we all you’ll say) yet I’m on such a greater scale of difference than everyone else (as far as I know, or guess). I see jocks having fun, friends, women, LIVEZ. 
Or rather shallow existences compared to mine (maybe) like ignorance = bliss. They don’t know beyond this world (how I do in my mind or in reality or in this existence) yet we each are lacking something that the other possesses - I lack the true human nature that Dylan owned & they lack the overdeveloped mind/imagination/knowledge tool. I don’t fit in here thinking of suicide gives me hope, that I’ll be in my place wherever I go after this life … that I’ll finally not be at war with myself, the world, the universe - my mind, body, everywhere, everything at PEACE in me - my soul (existence). & the routine is still monotonous, go to school, be scared & nervous, hoping that people can accept me … that I can accept them … the NIN (Nine Inch Nails) song Piggy is good for thought writing … The Lost Highway sounds like a movie about me … I’m gonna write later, bye   <<-VoDkA->>
5: Da ThoughtZ Jeah
Well well, back at it, yes (you say) whoever the fuck ‘you’ is, but yea. My life is still fucked, in case you care … maybe, … (not?) I have just lost fuckin 45$, & before that I lost my zippo & knife (I did get those back) Why the fuck is he being such an ASSHOLE??? (god I guess, whoever is the being which controls shit). He’s fucking me over big time & it pisses me off. Oooh god I HATE my life, I want to die really bad right now - let’s see what I have that’s good: A nice family, a good house, food, a couple of good friends, & possessions. What’s bad - no girls (friends or girlfriends), no other friends except a few, nobody accepting me even though I want to be accepted, me doing badly & being intimidated in any & all sports, me looking weird & acting shy - BIG problem, me getting bad grades, having no ambition of life, that’s the big shit. Anyway … I was Mr. Cutter tonight - I have 11 depressioners on my right hand now, & my favorite contrasting symbol, because it is so true & means so much. The battle between good & bad never ends … OK enough bitchin … well I’m not done yet. OK go … I don’t know  why I do wrong with people (mainly women) - it’s like they are set out to hate & ignore me, I never know what to say or do. - is soo fuckin lucky he has no idea how I suffer. 
6: Okay here’s some poetry … this is a display of one man in search of answers, never finding them, yet in hopelessness understands things …
Existence … what a strange word. He set out by determination & curiosity, knows no existence, knows nothing relevant to himself. The pretty declarations of others & everything on this world, in this world, he knows the answers to. Yet they have no purpose to him. He seeks knowledge of the unthinkable, of the undefinable, of the unknown. He explores the everything … using his mind, the most powerful tool known to him. Not a physical barrier blocking the limits of exploration, time thru thought thru dimensions … the everything is his realm. Yet, the more he thinks, hoping to find answers to his questions, the more come up. Amazingly, the petty things mean much to him at this time, how he wants to be normal, not this transceiver of the everything. Then occurring to him, the answer. How everything is connected yet separate. By experiencing the petty others actions, reactions, emotions, doings and thoughts, he gets a mental picture of what, in his mind, is a cycle. Existence is a great hall, life is one of the rooms, death is passing thru the doors, & the ever existent compulsion of everything is the curiosity to keep moving down the hall, thru the doors, exploring rooms, down this never-ending hall. Questions make answers, answers conceive questions, and at long last he is content. TTYL  <<-VoDkA->>
7: Thoughtz                                                                                                          Yo … whassup … heheheheh … know what’s weird? Everyone knows everyone. I swear - like I’m an outcast, & everyone is conspiring against me … Check it … (this isn’t good, but I need to write, so here ….                                             Within the known limits of time … within the conceived boundaries of space … the average human thinks those are the settings of existence … yet the ponderer, the outcast, the believer, helps out the human. “Think not of 2 dimensions”, says the ponderer, “but of 3, as your world is conceived of 3 dimensions, so is mine. While you explore the immediate physical boundaries of your body, you see in your 3 dimensions - L, W, & H, yet I, who is more mentally open to anything, see my 3 dimensions. My realm of thought - Time, Space, & THOUGHT. Thought is the most powerful thing that exists - anything conceivable can be produced, anything & everything is possible, even in your physical world.” After this so called “lecture” the common man feels confused, empty, & unaware. Yet those are the best emotions of a ponderer. The real difference is, a true ponderer will explore these emotions & what caused them. Another … a dream.                                                                                         Miles & miles of never ending grass, like a wheat. A farm, sunshine, a happy feeling in the presence, Absolutely nothing wrong, nothing ever is, contrary 180 (degrees) to normal life. No awareness, just pure bliss, unexplainable bliss, The only challenges are no challenge, & then … BAM!!! realization sets in, the world is the greatest punishment. Life.                                                            8: Hypnosis place - It is a sky - with one large cloud, & sort of cloud-made chair - the sun is at the head of the chair … 10 o’clock up into the sky … Below, I sometimes see mist, & the green (forest green) earth - sorta a city, yet I hear nothing. I relax on this chair - actually like a chaise - & I am talking … to what? I don’t know - it’s just there, I have the feeling that I know him, even though I consciously don’t … & we talk like we are the same person - like he’s my soul … The everlasting contrast …                                                                              Dark. Light. God. Lucifer. Heaven. Hell. GOOD. BAD. Yes, the everlasting-contrast. Since existence has known the ‘fight’ between good & evil has continued. Obviously, this fight can never end. Good things turn bad, bad things become good, the ‘people’ on the earth see it as a battle they can win. HA fuckin morons. If people looked at History, they would see what happens. I think, too much, I understand, I am GOD compared to some of those un-existable brainless zombies. Yet, the actions of them interest me, like a kid with a new toy. Another contrast, more of a paradox, actually, like the advanced go for the undevelopeds realm, while some of the morons become everything dwellers - but exceptions to every rule, & this is a BIG exception - most morons never change, they never decide to live in the ‘everything’ frame of mind!              Laterz           <<-VoDkA->>                                                                                   9: <<-VoDkA->>’s Thoughts                                                                                   The - Situation                                                                                                             It is not good for me right now (like it ever is) … but anyway … My best friend ever: the friend who shared, experimented, laughed, took chances with & appreciated me more than any friend ever did has been ordained … “passed on” … in my book. Ever since - (who I wouldn’t mind killing) has loved him … that’s the only place he’s been with her … if anyone had any idea how sad I am … I mean we were the TEAM. When him & I first were friends, well I finally found someone who was like me: who appreciated me & shared very common interests. Ever since 7th grade, I’ve felt lonely … when - came around, I finally felt happiness (sometimes) we did cigars, drinking, sabotage to houses, EVERYTHING for the first time together & now that he’s “moved on” I feel so lonely, without a friend. Oh well, maybe he’ll come around -> … I hope.               That’s all - for this topic - maybe I’ll never see this again. (-> ô=-   -=ô)                 <<-VoDkA->>                                                                                                                10: My 1st Love????                                                                                               OH my God … I am almost sure I am in love … with -. Hehehe … such a strange name, like mine … yet everything about her I love. From her good body to her almost perfect face, her charm, her wit & cunning, her NOT being popular. Her friends (who I know) - some - I just hope she likes me as much as I LOVE her. I think of her every second of every day. I want to be with her. I imagine me & her doing things together, the sound of her laugh, I picture her face, I love her. If - soulmates exist, then I think I’ve found mine. I hope she likes Techno … :-)             -, I love you                                                                                                             - Dylan

Heaven help a fool that falls in love•Shawn Mendes

A/N: Just a short blurb I wrote from the bad boy! Shawn au universe, this is a little different, there’s no dialogue, almost like a monologue but not?

I’ve found myself writing a lot of these so I hope you like it! It’s real fluffy but don’t fret, I’m planning some smut so keep an eye out!

I hope you guys like this au as much as I do! 🌸

hit me up with some short fluffy blurb ideas!!

I’ve also made a bad boy! Shawn playlist (cuz I am SO extra) so hit me up if you want the link!

Originally posted by lachicadeloslibros-y-lasboybands

MASTERLIST - more bad boy! Shawn in here!

Oh, Ophelia, you’ve been on my mind girl like a drug
Oh, Ophelia, heaven help a fool who falls in love - Ophelia, The Lumineers.

Mr Dawson can’t stop talking about hydrogen atoms.

He’s droning on, using his degree level science knowledge to send the class into a deep sleep.

Shawn’s trying to focus, remembering that he actually needs to pass chemistry in order to graduate high school, but his brain is busy somewhere else.

She’s sitting next to him at the back, eyes focused on her crisp white paper in front of her.

He thinks she’s taking notes, but when he peers over the lined sheets, she’s doodling, shading in a circle with expert precision.

Her tongue is hanging in the corner of her mouth, eyes busy as they stare intensely at the grey shading and Shawn’s lost in the drag of her pencil and fire in her eyes.

His tongue dashes out across his bottom lip, moisturises the dry edges and he leans his chin on his large palm, flicking his gaze from the drawing woman to the lecturing man.

Keep reading


( 0 9 . 0 6 . 1 7 ) summer’s been nice to me so far, today was a typical lazy sunday complete with sleeping in, cuddling, a family lunch and reading. my boyfriend’s staying with us and he’s been learning card tricks; meanwhile you can see my mom looking for four-leaf clovers behind my glass of rosé. i just finished american gods and am currently reading ben goldacre’s bad science ♥️

GOT7 as things my friends have said in science class
  • JAEBUM: the reason why everyone is failing your class right now is because u can't fucking teach sHIT
  • MARK: [ is quietly brooding in the corner ] i understood everything until he drew the chart what am i going to do
  • JINYOUNG: this shit is so easy you guys are just dumb. singapore makes us look bad
  • YOUNGJAE: [ suddenly understands something ] OHHHHHHOOHHHHHH
  • JACKSON: [ casually writing his crush's name over and over again in his notebook in hangul ]
Pong Farr

bad startrek au where vulcans play ping pong to facilitate their mental powers

mindmelds are spock touching kirk’s face with a ping pong paddle or if needed he can do it remotely by hitting kirk in the face with a ping pong ball

vulcan kisses, while widely thought to be two fingers touching, is actually two vulcans’ ritual ping pong paddles touching

once every 7 years vulcans are overcome by pong farr, a biological need to play ping pong with someone for days on end. if they do not, they will succumb to pong tow, ping pong fever. in the place of koon-ut-pong-if-fee a vulcan’s to-be-pongmate may either undergo the ping pong bonding ceremony or name a champion for them to play ping pong against, loser commits ritual pongicide.

in amok time, people know something’s up with spock when he starts randomly bouncing a ping pong ball against the science station. kirk saves spock’s life by spectacularly losing to him in a game of ping pong & pretending to faint after defeat. (he’s actually okay at the game)

it’s the REAL reason why vulcans are so touchy about offworlders knowing their “”“mating secrets”“”, they’d be the laughing stock of the universe if it was common knowledge.

Zodiac signs as Katya’s quotes 2

Aries: I’m not actually that young. I’m just ignorant.

Taurus: Regret is a dish best served cold - wait no, that’s revenge.

Gemini:  I can move my body in a compelling way…it usually compels people to leave the room.

Cancer: If you need me, you know where to find me: seeking validation and self-love in my dumpster.

Leo: You know you want this crocheted pussy.

Virgo: The key to a swollen vagina is… courage.

Libra: You’re gonna fuck it up so bad and there’s nothing to do about it.

Scorpio: Arson and ambition are basically the same word.

Sagittarius: I tried to go to bed… couldn’t sleep. I just keep thinking about murder and Satanism.

Capricorn: I am a riddle wrapped in a mystery covered in spandex.

Aquarius: I don’t know anything about science other than it’s really good for you.

Pisces: I don’t jump for joy. I frolic in doubt.


Imagine Chris being a bad doctor.

A/N: I mean, that gif though. 😂 This is a request from the poor, sick Joanna otherwise known as @pegasusdragontiger. I am really hoping you feel better, darling. I know how much being sick sucks. Lots of hugs. ❤️ Oh, yes. There’s mention of blood, so don’t read this if it triggers you.

You’d spent the last couple of weeks in Sydney, Australia visiting your older brother who was getting his ‘Bachelor of Science’ at New Castle University. June was summer for the U.S, but it was winter for those down under. As much as you enjoyed the blistering cold, you returned home with a terrible flu leaving your husband to play doctor. When he picked you up from the airport, you’d already started showing symptoms. The two of you stopped by CVS on your way home so he could stock up on supplies to help you feel better. On the drive home, you complained about your discomfort hoping you’d get some sympathy. Instead he teased you, saying it was “karma” for “leaving me alone for two weeks.” You wanted to remind him that he left you first, and for much longer to film ‘Red Sea Diving Resort’ in South Africa. But you knew he’d counter with “mine was work, yours was fun” and your scratchy throat didn’t have the strength for all your witty comebacks so you just nodded.

The second the two of you got home, Chris lit your lemon grass candles and ran you a hot bath. He enclosed you in there hoping the scent and the steam would clear your blocked nose, then worked to unpack your bags as he knew how much you liked getting that done as soon as you got home. He threw all your dirty clothes into the washing machine and left it to do its job so he could get started on cooking you your grandmother’s chicken macaroni soup. You wanted it every time you were sick, and seeing as you were the better cook with the recipe memorized- you usually made it for yourself. But because Chris loved you and wanted to take care of you, he asked your grandmother to write it down for him about four Thanksgivings ago when he was still just your boyfriend. He figured he’d learn it because he knew he wasn’t going anywhere and that was the only thing you’d eat when you were sick, that and ice-cream even though dairy was bad for your coughs. Four Thanksgivings ago was the last time you had to make that soup for yourself. You couldn’t believe how lucky you were, not every girl had a guy as fantastic as Chris in their lives to make amazing chicken macaroni soup for them.

After your bath, you changed into your comfiest pajamas before heading downstairs to cuddle up on the couch with Dodger while Chris continued to work in the kitchen. You turned on the TV and accessed the hard drive connected because you had a sudden urge to watch Robert in ‘Iron Man’; it was still your favorite Marvel movie despite the fact that you were married to Captain America. It was Chris’ favorite too, but he stopped admitting that after you told him Iron Man was your favorite. You were quickly pulled onto Team Iron Man by Robert, who then rubbed the fact that he was your favorite in Chris’ face. He pretty much did it whenever they were out promoting ‘Captain America: Civil War’, and at any premiere you attended with Chris. It quickly became a meme, trending all over the internet. It was pretty funny. At one point, there was a photograph captured by the press at the Los Angeles premiere of your own husband and his two most loyal companions- Anthony Mackie and Sebastian Stan- snubbing you. Everyone knew it was a joke, of course, but it still made headlines. Chris had it framed for the home office; the two of you laughed every time you saw it.

“I think you clicked on the wrong movie, ‘Captain America: The First Avenger’ is up up up,” he called from the open floor kitchen. You giggled, scratching Dodger’s head. “Oh come on,” he chuckled, pointing at the TV screen with his knife. “Where’s the solidarity?” He lowered his knife to the chopping board, cutting the carrots into medium sized cubes with his gaze still locked on you. “You’re married to Captain America, for God sakes.” Before you could tell him to watch what he was doing, he did as you’d foreseen. “Fuck me!” He dropped the knife with a clang, grimacing as he examined his left hand.

“This is why I always tell you to focus when you’re cutting.” You patted Dodger’s butt, gesturing for him to get off you as you sat up straight. “Is it bad?” You asked, watching him as he ran his hand under the water. “Chris, hey. Is it bad?” You repeated your question and he shook his head. It was an obvious lie because he wouldn’t turn around and you could spot a small pool of blood on the chopping board. “Come here and let me see.”

“It’s fine, Y/N.”

“Do not make me walk over there,” you warned him and he sighed, turning off the tap. He grabbed a tea towel as he turned around, wrapping his finger in it. “Grab the first aid kit on your way over.” You instructed as he was doing so, shaking your head at him with a small smile on your lips when he sat down in front of you. “How do you complete complicated stunts with ease when you can’t even cut carrots without cutting yourself?” You asked as you opened the first aid kit, searching for the proper equipment.

“You’re so funny, Y/N,” he bit with a forced smile and you laughed, transforming his smile into a more genuine one. “This is your fault, I wouldn’t have cut myself if I weren’t so distracted by your betrayal.” You rolled your eyes, taking his left hand. You unwrapped his finger from the tea towel to examine the severity, it was deep but he didn’t need stitches. “If you’d just- Argh, God!” He yelped when you wrapped the tea towel back around his wound and squeezed it to soak up the oozing blood. “Can you be gentle?”

“Can you stop being such a baby?” You chuckled, gesturing for him to keep the pressure while you got some alcohol swab. “It’s just a cut, you didn’t lose a finger.” He frowned, scrunching his nose like a child. “If you think that hurts,” you reclaimed his hand, resting it on your lap as you ripped opened the swab. “This is going to sting like a bitch.” You told him and moved the cloth aside, taking his hand in yours again.

“What is- Motherfucker!” Dodger flinched when Chris cried. He reflexively yanked his hand away, but you caught it before he could get too far and continued to gently clean his wound. “Oh my God, Y/N!” He squeezed his eyes shut, clenching his teeth as the alcohol burned his open wound. “That is fucking- Shit!” He continued to swear while you laughed. “Are you sure you’re meant to- Ow!” He continued to whine and complained as you continued to clean his wound with a new swab as the other one was soaked in his blood. “What the fuck is that, Y/N?!” You chuckled, shaking your head in disbelief. “My finger feels like it’s on fire!”

“Don’t be dramatic, Chris,” you rolled your eyes, “it’s just a slight sting.”

“Slight sting? That is not a slight sting, it’s- oh fuck,” he huffed, grimacing.

If you were being honest, you had no idea if the alcohol swab was necessary. You just did it because that was what you always did when you got a cut; you cleaned the wound before doing anything else. It was fun to you, even though the pain was killer. It made you feel like a doctor, which you loved. You may not have had a certificate in first aid, but your wounds always healed so clearly you were doing something right. After the swabs, you plastered his wound with the biggest bandaid in the kit. You took his hand and brought his injured finger to your lips, kissing it ever so gently and drawing a smile from him.

“There you go, baby,” you cooed, provoking him to flick you in the forehead. “Ow,” you giggled as he rose to his feet, gathering both bloody tea towel and first aid kit in his good hand. In his wounded hand, he collected the used swabs and bandaid wrapper. “Wear the disposable gloves, you don’t want to get water in your wound.” You called as you and Dodger resumed your earlier cuddling position.

“You got it, Dr. Cruel.”

“Dr. Cruel,” you chuckled. “She sounds like she’d be a perfect match for Dr. Strange don’t you think?” He laughed, walking back to his chopping board once he put the first aid kit away. “Could you soak that tea towel in cold water and wash the carrots before you do anything else? I don’t want your blood to stain, nor do I want to consume your blood.”

“Do you know what annoys me the most?”

“Me telling you to do stuff you’re already doing?” You answered then giggled when he nodded, smiling. “I’m sorry,” you pouted. “You know I can’t help it, I am a Virgo after all.” He rolled his eyes, like he didn’t already know how much of a Virgo you were. “I’ll shut up now, leave you to cook in peace. Try not to hurt yourself any further, you wouldn’t want Dr. Cruel to get her scalpel.”

“God,” he snickered. “I hope you never, ever get your hands on a scalpel, babe.” You giggled, wrapping your arms around Dodger as you turned your attention to the TV. “Your patient would definitely not make it out of that OR. I mean- there’s a reason you pursued writing instead of medicine, okay?”

“And there’s a reason you pursued acting, Mr. I-can’t-cut-carrots-without-cutting-my-finger.”

“You’re adorable, really.” He bit sarcastically. “Don’t make me poison your soup, hon,” he smirked.

“Oh please, baby,” you smirked right back, making him laugh, “as if you could survive without me.”

Tags: @chrisevans-imagines @widowsfics @m-a-t-91 @imaginesofdreams  @katiew1973 @winter-tospring @shamvictoria11 @soymikael @faye22 @always-an-evans-addict @heartblackerthancoffee @whenyourealizethisisntagoodname @yourtropegirl @smoothdogsgirl @createdbytinyaddiction @dreamingintheimpalawithdean @rileyloves5 @buckys-shield @catch-me-im-a-falling-star @tabi-toast @ssweet-empowerment @chrixa @feelmyroarrrr @akidura79 @castellandiangelo @edward-lover18 @yourenotrogers @im-a-fandom-slut @royalexperiment256 @palaiasaurus64 @tacohead13 @badassbaker @pegasusdragontiger @sfreeborn @dorisagent101 @aekr @imagine-cats96 @adeptkillsyasse @shliic @justanotherfangurlz @winchesterandpie @creativeheartgemini @camerica96 @thestarlighthotel @lilya-petrichor @pinkleopardss @lizzysugar @bywonater @avengingalec @nerdingoutismylife @rayleyanns @captainxamerica @lapetitsyrene @01asianista @alwayshave-faith @southernbellestatues @thegirlwiththeimpala @callie-swagg1 @what-if-wenevermet @hillrichhill @patzammit @gerrardisgod @stevcsass @sebstanchrisevanchickforever19

It’s You

Summary: AU where Y/N is the speedster and Barry Allen is the first person you save.

Pairings: Barry Allen x reader

Word count: 3150

A/N: Hi! So, this is something I wrote for a friend and I liked how it turned out so she let me post it here :) I hope you all like it too! (It’s also the longest thing I’ve ever written lol).


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some bits of jacob tobia’s interview with allure:

  • “being female, being feminine is about being hairless and sleek, being waifish and floating like a reed.”
  • “you could either be physical and play sports with the boys, or play on the jungle gym with the girls.  i wanted it all!  i would not settle for any rules about my gender because i was like, i wanna go in the woods, play with bugs, dig out some clay from the creek bed, make my mom a cute li’l pot for her flowers, fight with sticks for a little while, get cleaned up, put on a tu-tu, dance around my house to like some britney spears songs, play with some barbies, read a science book about planets, and then go to bed.”  (great… maybe we shouldn’t gender those activities, so then everyone can enjoy the freedom you had to explore your personality.  oh, but if we stopped calling tu-tus ‘female’, you wouldn’t feel special any more.  my bad)
  • “i’ve just always had so much gender.  i just had gender, like, oozing everywhere.”
  • “i can’t really date gay guys any more.  i mean, i could try, but it’s like, this is not a man.”  [he holds up his painted nails]
  • “even saying ‘i am gender-non-conforming is a lie.  there’s no such thing as gender-conforming.  you can’t be an outsider to human gender.  if you are a human being, you are inside gender, and ya got one, and it’s great, and it should be there.”
  • “i just want us to take gender from two dimensions and give it so many dimensions, that it’s like an extravagant jewel that just shimmers everywhere, and captures the light, and plays with it in a way that we can’t understand is possible right now.”

what’s your favourite part?  being female is about being hairless & waifish?  painted nails mean someone can’t be a man?  gender roles are innate & “should be there”?

this is just bare-faced sexism.  it’s foul!  i am incoherent with frustration.  watch the bit at 3:30 when he says “this is not a man” & you’ll be frustrated, too.  what if a little boy watched that & decided he had to choose between painting his nails & calling himself a boy?  aaaaaahhhhhh!!  aaahh.

As a disabled fat person with multiple chronic illnesses and health issues, some of which are probably caused or influenced by my weight, I am so. fucking. tired of fat positive spaces essentially throwing me under the bus by saying “you can’t harass fat people because they might actually be healthy!“

The implication is that someone being unhealthy is an acceptable excuse for harassment and body policing. The implication is that the only reason you shouldn’t do those things is because you can’t be sure you’re harassing someone who really deserves it. Because fat yoga instructors don’t deserve it. But I do! Because I am actually unhealthy and therefore a Bad Fatty!

Look, it’s important that we spread the science about weight and the reality that it isn’t automatically a health issue. But while you’re doing that, please for the love of every chronically ill person stop giving that as the only reason fat shaming is bad. I deserve to be free from harassment because I’m a fucking person, not because you can’t tell by looking whether I might be actually be a Good Fatty who is super healthy and athletic and doesn’t deserve it.

AP Score Positivity

It’s that season. Starting Wednesday, College Board has been making this year’s AP scores visible gradually by region. With everyone else posting their scores, I thought I’d go ahead and share my own.

•AP United States History: 4
•AP English Language and Composition: 4
•AP Environmental Science: 2

Yep, that’s right, a 2. On what is regarded as being among the easiest AP tests. Did I fail? Yes. But am I upset about it? No, not at all. Because a person’s worth is not measured in numbers. Because sometimes we have less than ideal circumstances. Sometimes we don’t have the best teachers, sometimes we have bad test days, bad weeks, or too loaded a schedule to adequately review the material or maybe we just neglect to do so. We are human, and humanity and perfection do not go together. It’s okay to falter sometimes; it’s okay to not always have the best grades or the best test scores. What isn’t okay is the way we try to quantify our worth, to measure our success in numbers. Taking an upper level class is a success. Learning something is a success (even if you don’t learn quite enough to pass an exam). Getting up and sitting though a three hour test is a success. And yes, even failing can sometimes be a success in disguise, so long as we learn new things about ourselves. Reflect on what you could do differently to study, reflect on how you respond under stress and what you can do to mitigate those responses and more than anything else, reflect on what your goal really should be; a number on a score chart, or learning and pushing yourself?
So be gentle with yourselves, and be proud. You took a difficult class, you sat through a difficult test. You tried, and that is worth so much more than a number.

anonymous asked:

Pssst, Rams. jeonjagiya spilled that you know the secret to eternal youth face. Can I ask what masks you use/what your routine is? *readies notepad*

 bahahaha @jeonjagiya​ HOW COULD YOU jk

um i basically use snail cream for EVERYTHING like no joke. but it really depends on how my skin is doing/if i am on my period and such. but these are my top shelf items that i use weekly. i need to put them under a read more…..because there is a lot


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