and i am like 'why do i ever even open photoshop

Oh, Hello on Broadway Sentence Starters

  • “Oh, hello.”
  • “Charmed I’m sure, I’m _____.”
  • “Theater is the hot, new thing right now.”
  • “We’re filming this as a special for Investigation Discovery.”
  • “But we like to joke that ____ is the master of fun.”
  • “How can I describe the kind of vibe we give off?”
  • “You know when you walk by a travel agency, and you’re like, ‘what?’”
  • “I’m the type of man you would catch at a party going through the coats.”
  • “Each death learning from and improving upon the death before it.”
  • “I am a Tony Award viewing actor.”
  • “It’s a cold wrap, a warm Sierra Mist.”
  • “He wouldn’t let me sulk for one single second.”
  • “We started doing heroin that afternoon.”
  • “It was inspired by, and directly stolen from.”
  • “Who’s that? Who’s that guy?”
  • “When a famous person dies, blame the year, and make it about you.”
  • “We come out with bowler hats on. We take them off, we got two tuna sandwiches on our heads.”
  • “It was like— hey, shut the door— it was like…”
  • “Have you fucking tried dealing with the Shubert Organization?”
  • “They have everything at this place. Old props, old costumes, the cast of Newsies huddled over a flaming garbage can.”
  • “Which the city of New York informs us is a massive fire hazard.”
  • “Why he wore a dress to make a phone call, we will never know.”
  • “Perhaps you didn’t have time before the show to eat at Guy Fieri’s Great American Garbage Fire.”
  • “Her head ended up where?”
  • “That guy is sick as a dick!”
  • “Do you wanna know why? Do you wanna know why, ___? Because I could not afford Adobe Photoshop!”
  • “Alright, we’re having a nice time, so…”
  • “Oh waiter? I’ll have one more root beer, please.”
  • “Not in life, or in the play, ever put your nail in between my nail, in my fingie meat.”
  • “For real, don’t ever do that again. For real.”
  • “What are we? Two characters with different perspectives?”
  • “Twenty-five hundred dollars for a measly five-bedroom with office, crown molding, and fireplace?”
  • “___, is there a— fucking wait!”
  • “Are we on the same team?”
  • “Yeah! The ‘86 Mets.”
  • “Good news comes in thin envelopes.”
  • “Boy, that guy’s going back to Chinatown.”
  • “My father’s in a pitch black room drinking whiskey, and we are not allowed in there.”
  • “On one hand, I was sad my mother killed herself, but on the other hand, I was happy it was my birthday.”
  • “I’ll go banana bread on you, and it’ll be too dry to swallow!”
  • “You need to lose like, seven pounds.”
  • “I’m at Columbia University— as a trespasser.”
  • “Fun fact: I’m the only guy to get kicked out of a cult for being too into it.”
  • “Watch out, raccoons, they’ll steal your food, but next thing you know, they’ll steal your heart.”
  • “First off, we do not have the rights to Bill Joel’s ‘Movin’ Out.’“
  • “You’re God’s born loser, you know that?”
  • “No. No escape. Hey— no, no!”
  • “You know what? Our game show where contestants had to guess what you knew?”
  • “And the one time that guy guessed it, I lied.”
  • “The menu is like nineteen pages long, and even though it’s a diner, it has stuff like lobster on it.”
  • “Could I get a 1970′s coffee? So watery, and grey, and a gun next to it on the table.”
  • “And they don’t at all get a huge fucking tuna comeuppance.”
  • “Thank you for that measured compliment.”
  • “Did Jews not control the world of art?”
  • “When I realized card tricks were actually a trick, I said there must be no God.”
  • “the point is, we used to drink fish.”
  • “Well, we could be living in the subway tunnel if you hadn’t blown it with the mole people.”
  • “I hate to be the first to say it, but New York has changed.”
  • “The 1990′s! Mad About You, pesto sauce, O.J. Simpson breaks his 45-year no killing streak.”
  • “Could you imagine doing something so fucked up, there’s no more Toyota Camry?”
  • “But you’re Jewish and she’s a raccoon!”
  • “It’s just— I’ve never had money before, and I want some.”
  • “The baby is demonic!”
  • “I’m on the floor.”
  • “Could you get me a Ferraro Roche chocolate? Or a Lindt Lindor Truffle? My favorite flavor is blue.”
  • “I need you to go to Just Salad, at like, one P.M. when they’re at their busiest, and just get online and be like ‘now let’s see, how does this work?’“
  • “Will you go to the Magnolia Bakery as featured in the Sex and the City walking tour and just open fire?”
  • “Will you go to Long Island City, Queens? ‘Cause I won’t.”
  • “A look that can only be described as Pussy Safari.”
  • “It’s like, suddenly jewelry stores do have a bathroom I can use?”
  • “You got clam juiced, you white trash idiot.”
  • “Would you stop the Super Bowl halfway through to do a bunch of bullshit?”
  • “You wanted to hear how fucked up I am inside?”
  • “Nobody’ll say it, but Shakespeare is a fucking hack, alright?”
  • “Have we owned this the entire time?”
  • “I’m so sorry that I lied to you about a life changing voice-over opportunity, and then bullied you for forty years.”
  • “I’m so sorry that I really didn’t do anything wrong.”
  • “Oh no, that’s okay, waiter. I bring my own chair places.”
  • “Most of those teens only bought the book because in it, I explained how to make a bomb.”
  • “Oh waiter? I’ll have— well, I’ll have two root beers, please.”
Moonlight Confessions

pairing: connor murphy x reader

word count: 865

warnings: like, swearing. do those need warnings? yeah swearing shield ur eyes children.

a/n: ok when was the last time i posted fanfic?? years ago lmao hello and welcome to my second one in forever !! someone hand me the tony for “Slowest Writer To Ever Exist On The DEH x Reader Community But Not The Entire Internet Because That’s Aiming Too High” it exists somewhere out there i can feel it,,,

dedicated to: @imdedicatingeverydaytoyou, who is absolutely amazing in every way!! she is !!!! wow gr8 !!!!! in all honesty maia, thank u so much for reading this and going “CUTE CUTE CUTE” ilu

“I think I might be in love with you.”

Connor turned towards you, wide-eyed and startled, maybe just a little unsure if he was hearing right. There were no angry accusations of “you’re lying” or “it’s not funny, Y/N, knock that shit off.” Hanging out on the edge of his roof, legs splayed haphazardly in front of you and head tilted upwards to the sky, everything felt softer under the glow of the 3 AM moonlight. Connor remained silent, a sheen of hope glistening in his eyes.

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anonymous asked:

And what makes you so sure, honestly? Like, besides the over the top photoshop theories, what makes you think he's not his baby? I know some of you talk about how Liam talks about bear vs how Louis talks about Freddie, but you need to realize that there's not a formula on how to talk about your kid, every parent is different! And my main question is: why the hell would they make him have a fake baby??? Do you really think Louis (and his family) would be cool and play along with that???

What makes me so sure? *cracks knuckles*

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hey, guys! so as you all (hopefully) know, it’s valentine’s day!!!
so firstly, happy valentine’s day <3
secondly, i do feel quiet bad that i’ve been pretty MIA this past few days, and i’m so grateful to all of you guys for sticking with me. thirdly, i hit 1.5k yesterday, which i cannot believe! thank you so much, all of you!
along with this, i just really, really want to convey how deeply i care for all of you guys. i’m not very well-liked irl, and it’s really tough to have lost so many friends in such a short span of time, hence, i’m so so so SO grateful for all of you, even if we’ve never interacted, because you’re the ones that get me through the days. :)
so i figured, why get three (love)birds with one stone, and celebrate with some mutuals appreciation? let’s go!

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Summary:  In the hope of someday becoming as spectacular as the famous Shiny Chariot, Akko sets out to find inspiration and found more than what she was looking for. Dianakko College AU Magic doesn’t exist

For those who prefer it on another site, here’s the link.


So in this AU Luna Nova Academy and Appleton Academy are of the same college. The characters have different courses and Akko and Diana met differently while Diana’s relationship with Andrew is him being a wingman. This was a fun idea to write, I hope you guys enjoy!

Chapter 1

“Your photos are so plain and boring!” Professor Nelson told her as she scanned on the camera roll. “All you did was take pictures of random things, Akko. We need better pictures if you ever want to showcase yours for our Samhain Festival.

Akko sighed. She had been practicing for months yet she wasn’t getting better at photography. She enrolled in a photography class at Luna Nova Arts Academy without knowing the difference between a DSLR and a Digital Camera or even how to use the DSLR’s manual function. Professor Nelson had given her an earful since then.

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Call me when you stop being a bitch. Pt1

Joshua Angst/ fluff Imagine for an Anon- Part 1.


How could he embarrass you like this? How could he not know how important tonight was to you? Your work colleagues didn’t believe you were dating an idol because you’d been dating for over a year, yet they had never met him. They quite often made you the butt of their jokes, claiming your photographs with him were just photoshopped. Yeah it hurt sometimes but at least you knew the truth.

Tonight you had planned to introduce Joshua to your work friends. But the thing is, he didn’t show up. You waited and waited inside the restaurant with your 4 work friends. ‘Okay come on Y/N we’ve played along now, can we just go eat?’ One of them said pouring their lips. You sighed deeply knowing they would never let you live this down. ‘You know what you guys go ahead, I’m just going to go home…’ you replied shakily before making your way quickly home in defeat.

You threw your bag down on the couch letting out a high pitched scream of frustration at the same time as you threw yourself down on the couch. You sat in silence and darkness waiting for him to turn up at your apartment.

Not long after you got home you heard your apartment door click open. 'I’m here!’ You heard him call. You stood up and folded your arms looking at him through glazed eyes. 'Wow Y/N you look incredible…’ He said with a smile on his face. He stood taking in the view of you in your fitted black dress and heels. He approached you to embrace but instead you stepped out of his way. 'Don’t even.’ You spat out, still refusing to make eye contact with him.

Joshua was exhausted from practice and was completely confused by your unusually bad attitude. 'I just walked through the door what did I do?’ He asked still baffled by your behaviour.

His cluelessness unleashed a whole new side of you that he’d never seen before. 'It’s what you don’t do that’s the problem.’ You said through gritted teeth. He reached out to grab one of your arms but you harshly slapped his hand away. 'Don’t touch me!’ You yelled storming past him.

Honestly, he was still completely confused. You were always a very placid calm person he had never seen you like this before. 'Why are you being like this I didn’t do anything?!’ He replied raising his voice. His exhaustion was not helping the situation, making the usually relaxed boy loose patience.

You reached for your bag and threw the restaurants business card at him. 'You never fucking listen to me!’ You yelled at him as he picked the card up off the floor. 'What it’s a restaurant?’ He asked looking at the card.

Inside your head you felt like he was trying to push your buttons. 'Are you kidding me? Josh my friends think I’m a fucking moron as it is now they’re going to think I’m a liar and a fucking moron! Do you have any idea how embarrassed I am right now?!’

Hearing mention of your friends it all clicked inside of his head. 'Hey maybe you should’ve reminded me about those plans? You know how busy I’ve been!’ Joshua replied rolling his eyes at you.

'How is it my fault when YOU don’t listen to me!? I did remind you! I told you twice yesterday! I swear everything I say to you just goes in one ear and out the other!’ You were mad, actually you were beyond mad. You were absolutely furious with Joshua.

Joshua rolled his eyes again angering you further. 'For godsake why are you being such a bitch?! Get over it! We can just make new plans!’ Joshua had never called you anything like that, nor had you ever fought like this. But clearly, he just didn’t understand how important tonight was.

'Don’t you think I’ve got other more important things to deal with besides you?!’ He yelled in retaliation. The words that left his mouth really struck a chord with you leaving you standing in stunned silence.

You shoved past him and walked to your front door. You opened it and stood beside it, arms folded, staring out into the corridor. 'Get out.’ You said calmly. Joshua snickered from the other side of the room. 'You are kidding?’

The dead silence between you answered his question. You stayed firmly in place eyes still glazed over whilst staring into the empty corridor. 'You know what call me when you decide to stop being a dramatic bitch.’ And with that he left, allowing you to slam the door as hard as you possibly could, rattling your entire apartment.

PJO Characters as things me and my family once said/did

Clarisse: I use to be an equestrian rider in an all girls college, but then I got bored so I enlisted in the Army. Everyone was so shocked because I was one for defiance. 

Percy: Instead of chicken, they fry turkey. It’s Kenturkey Fried Turkey now

Annabeth: Did you just call that screw a fricker? 

Percy: Yes

Annabeth: It’s a Fother Mucker

Percy: [fumbles with Allen Wrench for a moment] Thunderbritches

Annabeth: Oh my gods

Jason: There was once a guy at my old school named Adam Levine, little blonde dude, who would sit in computer class and do nothing but play on Photoshop all day so the teacher told him to take 3 days and teach everyone how to Photoshop penguins onto Obama’s face

Piper: Percy, I don’t care how p*ssed, hungry, tired, thirsty, hot, or grumpy you are, I am NOT buying you a squid hat


Hazel: We live right next to some people who own horses, and I use to hop over the fence to go take car of them.

Frank: Did you know that the dog on that SmartBoard was Rocky the Bull Dog, and Disney sold him to the Army for just a single dollar

Leo: What the hell, why would they sell him for only a dollar

Annabeth: Military Discount

Nico: Oh my gods, I’m the gay cousin everyone talks about…

Nico: [on a text message to contact *Mom*] ‘I know what I want for Christmas. I either want a shirt that says “I’m Here, I’m Queer” or a sweatshirt that says “I’m That Gay Cousin Everyone Talks About’

Thalia: When I lived in North Carolina, 7 year old Thalia decided that she was going to climb up the tallest dogwood tree in the backyard while singing the WonderPets ‘teamwork’ song. I fell off of it from the middle and my foot got wedged between the two trunks at the bottom so I was stuck laying on the ground breathless. I walked away just fine though.

Reyna: No, but seriously, my first kiss happened when this girl who was my best friend in that state told me I didn’t look like the type who would control a kiss and dared me to kiss her, so on our way back from lunch to Pre Algebra, I pulled her into the girls bathroom and pushed her against a wall. And frenched her. She had braces too.

Piper: Why is it that when I dye my hair bright blue, a week later EVERYONE dyes their hair bright blue? I’m not even popular, I’ve got like 4 friends and thats it.

Annabeth: You see, sometimes Percy just p*sses me off soo much, but… I can’t stay mad at him. I’d be yelling at him for spilling his Dr. Pepper all over the table, but next minute he’s making puns about Cod Fish

Travis: Have you ever stolen anything in your life

Connor: Well in Albertsons they were having a sale on select-a-size salt water taffy, and I thought the purple one looked really yummy, so I kinda stuck one in my pocket and ate it when I got home without anyone knowing

Chiron: All you need in life is a wish bone, a back bone, and a funny bone

Rachel: That’s wise and all, but I seriously think your retirement quote should be “Let us mourn her with a tradition ballet *makes kazoo like noises from mouth in attempts to mimic Toxic by Britney Spears*”

Will: What kind of onions do you want

Nico: The white ones, because the red ones make me sick. 

Will: Okay…

Nico: Oooooh get the sliced ones!

Will: Why?

Nico: Because they have a rainbow for their logo and I’m gay

Apollo: Pi is Gay

Percy: What?

Apollo, slightly more persistent: Pi is Gay

Percy: How the hell is Pi gay?

Apollo: Well, Pi is 3.14, which is what helps you find the area of a circle. Rainbows are actually full circles, and Rainbows are gay. Thus, Pi is Gay

Percy: That… makes sense

Leo: When I was a little girl, my mom always had to have dogs, so we usually had labs. Specifically golden labs. My twin sister and I would take glow sticks and through them around outside at night and the dogs will chase after them. All you would see is neon green and neon yellow mouths because their sharp teeth would puncture the tube. Then they would go inside and they’ll be glowing pawprints on the rug leading to the back

Annabeth: My mom thought it would be a great idea to go get a real Christmas tree one year, so she went out and found one with these really cool bulbs on them. We took it back home, set it up, then went into town again because we lived in the middle of nowhere so we had to travel to get to places. Well, when we came back, those little bulbs had turned out to be spider pouches for eggs and the warmth of our house had made them hatch. The ceiling was COVERED in white webs and it took forever to clean out. And that, my dear children, is why Mommy is terrified of spiders and why we always get fake trees

Percy: I once put in an Easy Mac in the microwave with the intention to eat it, but forgot to put water in it so after about a minute the microwave started smelling funny. I went to go investigate, opened the door, and blue/yellow smoke plumed out. I was terrified for a full hour because I was so sure I put water in that bowl. It’s been roughly 4 years since that happened and my little sister still tells me ‘Make sure you put water in the cup!’ just to taunt me

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Perfect as You Are

Pairing - Lafayette x Reader

Word Count - 2568

Summary - Reader feels bad about how she looks and hates her body. Laf is there to help.

Warnings - Negative talk, body hatred, a few swears

Tags - @futureauthor45, @small-stars, @smol-consulting-one (Ask to be tagged in any future fics!)

A/N - Okay, so this one is extremely personal to me. I’ve strugged with body image issues for all of my adolescent and adult life. So I decided to get them out. Everything the reader says is something I have said to myself.

You stood there, staring at your reflection in your full-length mirror with a deep frown on your face as you poked and prodded at your midsection and examined your arms. Today was not a good day. You’d been to the gym, which normally didn’t bother you, but today, you’d ended up beside the fittest woman you’d ever seen in your life, and it had gotten to you. Flat abs, toned arms and legs, the whole nine yards. You’d struggled with image issues for most of your adolescent and adult years, but you’d come a long way in your recovery. You’d learned to accept your body and its flaws and realized that the people in magazines were heavily Photoshopped and that nobody actually looked like that. But today, comparing her body to yours had really bothered you.

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anonymous asked:

shiratorizawa's reaction to being woken up at 3 am by their s/o sending them memes pls ?? thx

this is it everyone. i was put on this earth a little more than 23 years ago to fill this exact request with the expansive knowledge of memes i’ve collected in my spare time since the dawn of memeing, from when it was just a niche subculture coming from the cesspool of Actual Flaming Shit that is 4chan to modern-day popular usage. i even went ahead and gave each one a specific meme to help me out.

i’m going with shiratorizawa starters + semi again. tendou’s ties-in with this headcanon post about him.


The meme you send him: Look at all those chickens! accompanied with the message “Me, showing off you and the rest of the volleyball team”

He doesn’t understand this at all. Those aren’t chickens, those are geese. Shiratorizawa has nothing to do with geese. Perhaps you’re just confused because it’s late at night and you should be asleep. He answers back simply, “Please do not think of me or anyone else on the team as chicken or geese. Goodnight.” He doesn’t bring it up in the morning.


The meme you send him: you just send him a text that says, “The Game”

It takes him a while to register the text between being sleepy and the vagueness of it. But then he remembers and he just about tosses his phone across the room. Really?! People are still playing that?! What year is it?! At least you lost too, because you had to have thought about it to text it to him. He’s a grump in the morning when he sees you.


The meme you send him: Reasons to Live Pepe but with his face photoshopped into the book in the second panel

At first he’s worried that you’re texting him at such a late hour and he’s ready to come to your rescue, but when he opens the text, his fear subsides. He’s very flattered that you feel that way, but the frog-man thing is somewhat… disturbing. (C’mon, Reon, Pepe can be cute at times! just not this Pepe.) Not to mention, you both really should be sleeping. In the morning he gently suggests, that in the future, to not meme too hard past midnight.


The meme you send him: You rapid fire text him “Je suis un Ananas” about 30 times (from this video)

Given that does this to you ALL THE TIME already, it was only a matter of time before you started doing it to him. He should have known better. Now you’ve challenged him to the Ultimate Meme-Off and he has no choice but to scour the internet for the finest vintage memes—we’re talking memes such as the “The Kitty Cat Dance”—because he knows your comebacks will mostly be very obscure or specific ones from the Modern Era of Memes. It is on like Dankey Kang. He can sleep when he’s dead.


The meme you send him: this and various other memes involving “I LOVE YOU” being shouted via caps lock

He forgot to turn down the volume on his phone before going to bed so his text alert going off nearly gives him a heart attack. He gets really flustered from the memes, so much that he has to cover his face with his hands and lie back down because you’re killing him! He doesn’t even care that you woke him up in the middle of the night. This is the best night ever! He can’t wait to see you in morning.


The meme you send him: First you send him the message, “Get ready to have your mind blown” and then proceed to send him rapid-fire Troll Physics comics (example)

He lets out a very resigned sigh because he knows exactly what you’re up to, just not what flavor it’ll be this time. He reads the comics—yes, all of them—that you send and for a minuscule moment he considers sending you the actual math and science behind why they’re wrong. Except that’s the point. He shuts off his text tone for the rest of the night and doesn’t say a word about it in the morning.


The meme you send him: Instagram quote rebuttals / hipster edits (example)

He squints his eyes at the brightness of his screen and it takes him a while to process what you’ve actually sent him. When it finally registers that you sent him a meme of all things (he was expecting something a little sexier given the late hour), he rolls his eyes and sends back a “Go to bed, you meme-loving fuck” before going back to sleep himself. At least it was one you both have jokes about and made your own versions of. He finds a few on his phone during breakfast to show you.


The meme you send him: Spongebob but with Alfonso Riberio’s face… you know the one

The text startles him awake, but he’s slow to look at his phone. He stares at it for a while, expecting something to happen as if it were a GIF or even a jump scare. It’s neither, thankfully, especially the latter. He doesn’t understand this and actually calls you to ask you what this means. Are you being cryptic? Even when you tell him it’s just supposed to be a silly picture, he still doesn’t understand. Poor guy will never understand your weird humor.

Retaliation- Clint Barton

Character: Clint Barton/Hawkeye

Prompt: “Why are you hiding behind me? What did you do?”

Warnings: None…just some silliness, some fluff, and some serious flirting. And let’s be real, this is full of some super cheesy goodness and I just don’t care!

Author’s Note: Can’t tell you how glad I am someone requested a Clint one-shot! I’m sort of in love with him think he’s super underrated. He deserves way more love! I mean, have you seen those arms? And yes I know Agent Coulson “died” but just as he is alive and well in the world of Agents of SHEILD, he’s also alive and well here! I loved every second of working on this! Thank you for the fun request! :D Keep ‘em coming!

For a Monday, I was in a delightfully good mood. For one thing, I’d just finished training with Natasha in the gym and managed to almost take her down. Of course, I wasn’t sure I ever would considering just exactly who she was, but in my mind, I’d come pretty close. Not bad for a new agent in training…or as Tony liked to call me ‘Agent Training Wheels’. Of course, what he’d failed to realize was that I’d been meticulously planning my response to this little nickname of his for weeks now…And I also considered this to be revenge for the time he switched the sugar with salt one morning when I went to grab my coffee from the kitchen. I’d smiled and laughed it off, but in my head I was already cycling through a list of possible counter-attacks against the troublesome billionaire who seemed to think himself untouchable.

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FOUR HUNDRED AND THIRTY TWO!!!  Four hundred and thirty two of you have decided to stick with me despite it all. I really don’t know what I’ve done to deserve all of you or why you’ve stuck with me, but I’m so grateful. I’m so grateful to be able to write one of my favorite characters with extraordinarily talented writers such as yourselves. It’s an honor, a blessing, and I couldn’t ask for a better group of followers. Some of you have now become close friends of mine who I don’t know what I would do without now. It’s crazy to think how lucky I am to have met you let alone write with you. Right now, things have been very tense within the fandom and we could all use a great bit of positivity–as a whole the human race needs some love. So with my bias list, I’m going to share some love because I feel that love from all of you and I want to share it. 

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Holding On To You

wordcount: 7071

genre: fluff/angst

warnings: swearing

summary: Phil wishes he knew Dan better, completely and totally, because they’ve only been friends for two years and that’s by far long enough to love Dan and be worried about him, but it’s not enough to recognize all the demons. (aka a bunch of headcanons about the evolution of their dynamic; title from 21p)

The silence has stretched out for over a minute, and Phil lets the tension in his jaw relax. Over. Finally. He lets the bed creak as he stands, a warning that he’s coming, but it’s echoed by a creak in the floorboards in the room over, and Dan’s pacing again.

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Harry Styles - Meet Online Imagine

[Wouldn’t this be awesome to have happen to you? haha. Enjoy, loves!]

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Loneliest Babies

Pairings: Nozoeli, Kotoumi, Nicomaki

Summary: This is the story of how six adults tried to find a lost baby inside a huge villa. There’s no party like a search party. 

Tags: #Family AU Series     #Family AU

Note: Finally got a perfect name for Nozoeli’s kid

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It would be really unrealistic if every single character in a roleplay is a ray of sunshine, there will always be at least one character that is labeled the “bitch” or “asshole” , someone who step over the characters boundries or are just simply annoying and need to be told. If you are like me and got trouble knowing how to respond to them I have gathered up some comebacks for you too use. I did not make up these on my own, i´ve found them from browsing the web. Please like or reblog if you use.

Note: please take notice that some of these might not work for every situation

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I'm Sorry

[title]: i’m sorry

[pairing]: shawn mendes x reader

[requested]: yes – (x)

[summary]: #1 | “do you want me to leave?”

[warnings]: swearing

[author’s note]: the new photos of shawn from his luomo shoot are… distracting

…but goddamn that boy can really flaunt a blazer

+ “WRITING PROMPTS” prompt list

Originally posted by 21tst-may

YOU run a hand through your hair, biting your nails nervously.

You sit on the edge of your bed, wiping the salty droplets that had fallen onto your cheeks.

You emit a loud, thick cough, your voice scratchy. The room is dim, a small lamp casting a yellow glow from beside your bed.

Thoughts race through your head; thoughts that make you sick, make you want to throw up. The thought of him touching her in places he would touch you, the thought of her name rolling off of his tongue instead of yours, the thought of these very sheets you lay on tainted with the love they had made… Not you with him, her.

It’s been 12 months…

12 months of apparent lies and cover ups.

He told you he loved you, but was this all just a lie? A lie to get in your pants, act like he loved you and felt something deep for you, but then find someone else and leave you clueless and heartbroken?

The high quality picture burns holes in you, and you have to force yourself to look away from it. You sniffle, using your hand to whack the magazine off of the bed. You fall onto your back, your sweatshirt sleeve soaked with tears.

“I hate Hollywood and all these rumors.” You whisper, biting your bottom lip.

Suddenly the door to your apartment swings open, a voice greeting you. “Y/N, I’m home, baby!”

You squeeze your eyes shut, curling up into a ball. A small, weak, vulnerable ball of sadness and suspicion.


Why can’t I disappear?

The door to your bedroom swings open. “Y/N?” His voice asks softly.

Shawn approaches you carefully. He places an hand on your upper arm. As soon as his skin comes in contact with yours, you swat it away.

“How could you?!” You yell, sitting up and glaring at him.

“What are you talking about, Y/N?” He asks, backing slightly away from you. How could he act so innocent and clueless?

You slide off of the bed, retrieving the magazine from the floor before throwing it at Shawn harshly.

Shawn studies the cover as you weep quietly. The high definition picture of Shawn and Camila Cabello locking lips makes you want to throw up.

“Do you actually believe this?” Shawn asks you.

“What do you think?!” You yell, crossing your arms over your chest. “How could you?!”

Shawn’s eyebrows furrow. “I can’t believe you think I’m that unfaithful to you! All I’ve been is gentle and caring for you, Y/N! Do you think I’d ever fucking do something that cruel to you?!”

Your lip quivers as you whisper, “Maybe I do.“ Shawn’s face twists in anger. “This photo looks pretty fucking real to me. Maybe that’s where you go when you come home late; maybe you’re with Camila.”

“I’m not!” Shawn defends.

“And what if you are?” You whisper. “You know, I wouldn’t appreciate being treated like a used piece of shit.”

“You’re so goddamn stubborn! I can’t believe you’re mad at me for something I never even did!” You stay silent. “You know what, maybe I am with Camila, what if I was, huh?”

“I can’t believe you’d lie to me about saying you love me!” Tears blur your vision, small droplets of water staining your shirt.

Shawn’s face softens at your words, and just for a second, you think the situation will get better from there. But then his face hardens again, making your heart clench.

“Don’t you dare say that I don’t love you, Y/N because I fucking do! With all my goddamn heart!” Shawn runs a hand through his hair frustratedly. “I just can’t believe we’re having this fucking argument right now.”

“You know I hear what you say about Camila during your damn interviews—”

“Yeah! I say that she’s a close friend of mine and that she’s very talented!”

“‘Close friend of mine’.” You mock, making the anger in his chest expand. “You seem a little more than friends to me, Shawn!”

“You know, at least Camila actually trusts me as a friend. There’s about zero fucking trust in this relationship, Y/N! Have you ever heard of photoshop?! That’s a thing! It. Was. Photoshopped.” He seethes. “She actually cares about me and doesn’t accuse me of false accusations. If you can’t face the fact that there’s going to be false rumors and lies all over the media about us, you need to get it through your thick skull, Y/N.”

Small sobs escape your lips. You had never been in this big of a fight with Shawn, usually your fights were about what to have for dinner or fighting over the TV remote. Nothing serious like this. You loved Shawn with all of your heart and being, but you hated seeing all of these rumors spreading around like wildfires, because you couldn’t tell if they were true or not. You didn’t want to lose the light of your life. You knew he was a good boyfriend, but you couldn’t help but wonder if those rumors were in fact true or not. The salty tears running down your cheeks had never been this bad when it came to Shawn, you were full on bawling that he was upset with you and that he might be cheating on you. Of course, you cried when he went off on tour and you had to stay in Pickering to continue schooling and such, but this was way worse.

Shawn knew you were upset, but he couldn’t stand to be accused of every rumor in Hollywood about him by his girlfriend. By now, he was just letting out all of his frustrations and anger. He could’ve dealt with it in a better way, but the thought never came to mind. He knew you were very sensitive, so why didn’t he realize he was slowly breaking you? Simple. He was sick and tired of the media doing everything they can to corrupt your relationship.

“Y/N, you’re so stubborn and hard to deal with sometimes, and it pisses me off! We’ve been together for over a year, Y/N! You can act so bitchy sometimes, and I just now realize that! Y'know, Camila would actually believe me if I told her I loved her. I can’t deal with this right now.”

Your heart slams to the bottom of your stomach. He was comparing you to another woman. Someone better. Maybe he loved her and not you.

“Then do you want me to leave?” Your voice cracks as fresh tears roll down your face. Shawn stays silent.

“Maybe I will.” You whisper, walking past him.

You quickly walk towards the door to your house with tears remaining in your eyes.

Shawn stands in your shared room, staring at the floor. Tears run down his face as well, one of the few times he’s cried. He was always your rock, there for you, but not this time.

As the sound of the door to your house opens, he wanted to scream your name. He wanted to apologize. He wanted to hug and kiss you. He wanted to assure you it would all be okay. He really really wanted to, but in that moment, your name was stuck in his throat, its verbal route clogged with no other escape. As much as he wanted to reach out and stop you from leaving, his body wouldn’t let him. You deserved someone better than him. Just then he had treated you like a piece of shit, and he wanted you to find someone better. Nothing could ever replace his love for you, though.

“Idiot, idiot, idiot!” He screams at himself, ripping up the magazine into small pieces. He lets out a loud scream before approaching the wall and delivering a few flat palmed blows to it. Another wail escapes his throats before he collapses against the wall, crying into his hands. He knew he fucked up, and reality was hitting him like a train.

“I’m sorry.” Shawn whispers.

On the other hand, you sob into the steering wheel of your car, your head resting on the cool black material. Cries and a string of curses roll off of our tongue at the thought of not having Shawn in your life anymore.

Sometimes things don’t work out how you want them to, but that doesn’t mean they weren’t meant to be.

wow okay this was shitty

i’m so sorry to the anon who requested this i just couldn’t find the write way to word this, but i hope you enjoyed anyways!

i’m hoping my inspiration comes back soon because i’m really missing it

this was also very short hmph, my writing will get way better i promise :)

also, i love camila ok?

i just used the “shawmila” controversy (if you even wanna call it that) for their fight because…

…i’m original

[ want more? → masterlist ]

— october 12th, 2016

A Slow Descent: Chapter Fifteen

Summary: Falling in love with your best friend is a secret usually best left untold. Phil Lester, however, has never been good at keeping secrets.

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Start From The Beginning

Chapter Fifteen: More Than You Will Ever Know

Word Count: 1915

Genre: Angst, Fluff

Warnings: Language, Mentions of Self Harm

A/N: Thank you thank you a million times to everyone who has read this story! I really appreciate all of your kind words and encouragement. And yes, sadly this is going to be our last chapter.

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Celeb!Theo- part 3

Part 1 Part 2

You knew it was bad the moment you got the call from your manager telling you to check out some trashy online blog.

Apparently they had gotten hold of some saucy text conversations between you and Theo. You rolled your eyes knowing that the sauciest text you’d ever sent to Theo was a threat; but what this page had was something entirely different.

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