I have only just found out that this amazing man has committed suicide and I am extremely broken up about it. I grew up with Linkin Park blasting through the speakers in my parent’s car and it was an achievement when I learnt the lyrics to “Bleed it out”. You will be missed, Chester Bennington, but I hope that it’s better for you now and you no longer have to deal with the struggles that you were going through x
Bucky’s face went from teasing to serious within a second.
You looked at him over your shoulder with a cheeky smile, “What? I’m just cleaning…”
He stared at you from where he was standing in the doorway. You bent down to the dishwasher to put a skillet in. A groan sounded from behind you.
Smiling to yourself, you shimmied a little to make his t-shirt shift higher up your ass. You closed the dishwasher and yelped when you were lifted off the ground.
Bucky sat you on the counter and split your thighs open with his hips. He braced his palms flat on the surface, caging you in.
“When did you start this new cleaning regimen of washing dishes with no panties on?” He rasped, leaning close and kissing a path from your cheek to your neck.
You sighed and leaned your head to the side to give him better access. “Today.” You wrapped your legs around his thighs and pulled him closer, fingers tangling in his hair. “I got this whole kitchen cleaned before you noticed.”
His hands went to your hips and started tugging the shirt up your torso, “Well doll, now you are going to have to clean the counter again after I am done making a mess of you.”
a/n: ok im super nervous about this one. i was requested to do a daddy smut w joker so ill try :) and let me tell you what this joker is like, he’s passionate here about.. making love sooo yeah AND he’s not 100000% maniacal, just a little bit of a maniac. here it goes
a/n: update - im eating a banana rn :D
characters: Jared Leto!Joker, Reader
warnings: smut, swearing, daddy kink
Ever since the encounter with Mr. J two weeks ago, he was the only thing on my mind. How unfair, I get him as my only thought subject while he gets to have other things on his mind. Like… His business, Batman, police, his henchmen and other problems. I bet he doesn’t think about me at all. But God do I hope he does. What am I to him? A maid? A fuck toy? No thanks. He said he had a liking in me, does that mean I mean something more to him than just sex? I hope.
Well, I can’t hope for that. We can’t have feelings for each other, that would be wrong - he’s my boss. If he uses me just for sex - that would partly be acceptable. No, no that wouldn’t be. Jesus, what’s gotten into me lately? Have I caught feelings for him? Him?
If we could keep it as just sex, it would save heartbreak for everyone. I wouldn’t be complaining. I’m not complaining, the sex was just… wow. The best I’ve had. And, it was the only time for me and him. Did he not like me in bed? What if I was bad at it? Oh my God, I hope not.
Every day I was longing for his touch, but the only thing I received was looks and orders. This was really frustrating me. He was so complicated, I couldn’t figure him out in any way. I guess that was his goal. To be mysterious and unpredictable, closed to everyone around. Mr. J was giving me a hard time.
I was cleaning the boss’s own bedroom - which didn’t need much cleaning, but I cleaned it anyway cause there was nothing else to do - when I heard an echo of a door being shut. He must have come back from business. I heard shouts that seemed like happy ones echoing through the house, but just kept cleaning. Guess Mr. J had successful business today.
I spotted a gun on the floor and bent to pick it up.It was quite heavy. I hoped my uniform didn’t go up too high because if someone walked in, there would be quite a funny situation. I reached the gun and picked it up, straightening my posture so it would be more comfortable for me to look at it. It was-
“I would prefer the other position, doll.” I heard him speak from far behind me. My body froze, not knowing what to do. I had just picked up his gun. Oh my God, I’m so dead. Had he been watching me? I was so scared I couldn’t even think of what to say, I couldn’t move an inch. Okay, whatever happens, happens.
My breathing was heavy and quiet as I heard him walk up to me from behind and put his firm hands on my hips. What was happening?
“Be a good girl for Daddy and put that thing down, baby girl.” Mr. J spoke lowly and dominantly in my ear, his breath tingling my skin. I swear, my heart almost jumped out of its cage. I was scared, but also turned on a bit. Wait, did he ask me to put it back? But that would mean bending over again. I could just put it on the night stand. Yeah, let’s go with that option. I slowly, with my body shaking, bent forward and put the small weapon on the night stand, with his grip on me tight.
“Oh baby,” he almost moaned in my ear. “Obedient today, are we?” He said as I bent back up. He pulled me even closer to his front and I could feel his boner through the fabrics of our clothing (a/n: gOD HELP ME I HAVENT WRITTEN SMUT IN LIKE A YEAR SHBSH I FEEL LIKE IM SINNING). I sucked in a sharp breath at the realisation that he was turned on by me. Wait, was it me? Oh my God what’s happening. “Not talking, either?” He asked and laughed lowly. He was turning me on, christ.
Suddenly Mr. J turned me around to face him and pull our bodies even closer, if that was possible at this point. I finally saw him for the first time today and we were finally as close to each other as last time. He looked pretty good, his shirt was unbuttoned at the top, showing a bit of his pale chest and tattoos and he had a slight smirk on his face. My mouth unvoluntarily fell agape at the sight before me.
“Do you like what you see, doll?” He said and raised my chin up to him with his hand. His eyes were focused on my face, as if searching my features. “C'mon, talk to me. You haven’t said a word.”
“Y-yes, sir, I-”
“It’s Daddy to you now.” He butted in.
“Yes, D-daddy,” I hesitated a bit. I know I was quite young to be working here - I finished high school a year ago, and he was a few years older than me, but his ‘daddy’ fetish was a little weird. “I j-just-”
“You look like something’s bothering you, can you tell Daddy what’s wrong?”
Can I? I mean, it has to do with him. Nah, I won’t let my self-consciousness ruin this perfect moment.
“It’s n-nothing, nothing’s bothering me, Daddy.”
“Really? Are you not lying to me, baby girl?”
“I love how it sounds when you say it.” Joker growls at me, making me shiver. His left hand makes its way up my back and soon he’s holding the back of my neck tightly, making me gasp.
He pulls my face closer to his and connects our lips. Oh, so that’s what’s happening. I hesitate at first, but then put my hands around his neck and kiss him back. The way he kissed me was… with power, force and lust. I loved the combination.
I moaned when he bit down on my lower lip with his metal teeth, there was more pleasure than pain. He grunted with a smirk and untied the bow that was holding my uniform together and threw it somewhere on the floor. I kicked off my heels before he pulled down my tights, all while our lips moved in sync.
Joker pulled away abruptly, making me whine at the loss of contact. He then tightened his grip on my neck and I got it as my que to be quiet.
“Now, baby girl,” he said, moving his hands to my back, “I’m gonna lay you down.” He said and did as promised, slowly, almost teasingly, laying my back first down on his bed. The covers felt like silk against my bare thighs, they were so soft. Joker leans back up and removes his… armory. He looked great from this point of view. He looked good from every angle, actually.
“You know,” he starts speaking matter-of-factly, ”you’re lucky I’m in a good mood today. Business went really well, so I’ve got nothing to be angry about. And to come home to such a great view of baby girl cleaning up… makes my day even better.” He finished, opening the lower buttons of his shirt.
“Aren’t you lucky to have me here, all just for you, Daddy?” I asked in a sweet voice, trying to ignore the hundred questions in my mind.
“Of course I am, my dear doll.” He said before getting on the bed and situating himself above me. “But now… it’s time to play a little bit.” He said, stroking my cheek with the back of his hand. “What do you say?”
“Sure, Daddy.” I said barely above a whisper. Joker showed me his wicked smile and leaned down to kiss me again. I loved how rough, but soft his lips were, I loved the feeling of them. Mr. J’s hips pressed down on mine and his hands moved up to push my dress off of me. Once it was over my head, he threw it somewhere behind us. Now he was fully clothed with his purple shirt hanging on his torso and I was in only my black matching underwear.
Joker then sat up straight and his eyes raked over my body, mine watching him intently.
“We’ve got something beautiful here.” He stated loudly with a lustful smile. “Aren’t you beautiful, my dear?” He asked rethorically and I couldn’t help but to giggle and bite my lip. I watched as his face lowered down to my neck and he started slowly leaving rough kisses on my skin. I moaned as he traced his lips down my body, the valley of my breasts and he stopped at the middle of my tummy.
“Look at me, doll.” He said quite sternly. I opened my eyes and looked down at him staring at me, his chin resting on my stomach. “Tell me what you want.” He said. He then turned his head so his cheek was on my stomach and his hands were resting under my body. “What do you want… What do you want… What do you want… Tell me, tell me, tell me…” he said, playing with the skin of my back.
“What re the options, Daddy?” I asked, in a half-moan. This all was turning me on so badly I just wanted him to take me right there, right now.
“Well… we could always just go with the boring option… or we could play games… or I could use my fingers, lips or any toy to make you, doll, pleased.” He said with joy filled eyes. “Today’s your day, baby girl. Daddy’s already happy, and he’ll be even more happy if his doll is.” He finished and I smiled at him. “So make your choice, darling.”
“Oh, Daddy, I would love to have your fingers work wonders on me…” I moaned out.
“Beg for it, baby girl.”
“Oh, please, please, please, Daddy, I want your fingers so bad.” I whined, shutting my eyes closed. “Daddy, please.”
“You sound desperate, doll, so…” He rose up in a sitting position, straddling the sides of my hips. “I will give you what you want.” Mr. J said, tracing his fingers all over my face, moving them just the way to arouse me. I bet my panties were so wet it was visible. Jesus Christ, the things this man made me feel…
His fingers moved down to my neck, then to my bra covered chest, kneading and touching it perfectly. Where has he been? He knows how to please a woman so well. He ripped my bra in half and threw it away. Multiple moans left my mouth, getting louder each time.
“Yes, baby, be loud, I love to hear you.” Joker encouraged me, moving his fingers further down my body and stopping just above my underwear. “Where do you want my fingers, doll?” He teased, tracing the line of my underwear with his fingers. “Do you want them…” he said, suddenly cupping my heat and making my back arch up from his bed. “There? Would that be okay with you?” Joker leaned in close to my face, his other hand supporting my back, so we were both sitting up. I put my arms around his neck. “Speak.” He growled.
“Y-yes, Daddy,” I managed to choke out. “Right there.” I said just before Joker pressed on my underwear, beginning to trace circles after. “Daddy, that feels s-so good….” I moaned out, dipping my fingers into his skin. He teased my center before moving my underwear to the side and continuing his work without a fabric bothering. “Daddy, please….”
“What? What is it?” Joker asked. “You don’t like it if I tease you, huh? You don’t like that?” He asked with a fake pout on his lips.
“M-more, please, Daddy…” I begged. I bet there was a satisfied smirk on his face, but I didn’t see. His finger entering me had my eyes closed shut and mouth wide open, high pitched moans leaving it. “Oh, yes…” I sighed in pleasure, only to be interrupted when he added another finger, nearly reaching my G-spot. I almost screamed when he did that, it was more of like a scream and a moan mixed together. Mr. J began to circle them both around in me, bringing me closer to my release any second.
“Are you going to cum on my fingers like the naughty girl you are?” He huskily spoke in my ear, making me near my orgasm even faster. “Go on, do it. Come all over Daddy’s fingers, baby.” He spoke and that was all it took. My body shook, if I hadn’t been holding onto his neck, I’d probably hit the bed hard. With many moans and Mr. J holding me, I finally came to my release.
“Baby, that was wonderful.” He spoke with an audible smirk. I opened my eyes and looked at him, he raised his fingers in my view and licked them clean, humming. “You taste so sweet. I wish I could taste more of you, but not tonight…” Joker said and then leaned forward and kissed me… passionately? It must be a hallucination from the mind-blowing orgasm I just had. With as much energy as I had left, I kissed him back, being laid back down on the mattress under Joker’s body. “Now, baby girl, I hope you can take one more.”
“Of course I can, Daddy.” I replied with a smile. “I can do anything for you.”
“Perfect.” He says and connects our lips again. Joker’s hands then reached down to his pants to unzip them. Soon enough the only thing he was wearing was the shirt, which barely covered anything except his arms. He pulled my panties down my legs and leant back over me. My hands slithered on his chest, reaching under the shirt and tugging it off. Mr. J quickly took it off himself, showing me the whole glory, aka his body. God, he was truly something. I ran my hands over both of his biceps, admiring how strong they were, he was. All his tattoos looked so good on his white skin, it was a total contrast.
“Doll, you’ll have another time to analyze my body, but it’s not now.” Joker spoke, aligning himself with my entrance. “I believe we have something better to do now, don’t we?” He said before pushing all the way in, making me yelp out loudly. I had forgot how roughly gentle he was during sex, god… I loved it. I loved everything about him.
“Please, faster..” I moaned out. Soon enough I got what I wanted, Joker and me both moaning in sync. He kissed down my neck while pounding into me like there was no tomorrow, totally leaving a hickey here and there.
“Are you close, baby?” He whispered lowly.
“I am now…” I said.
“Are you going to cum for the second time tonight, doll?” He teased, knowing just how to speak to get me cum sooner. “Aren’t you a naughty little slut for Daddy?”
“Y-yes, Daddy, I am…” It was so hard to speak while he was so deep in me, he was already touching my G-spot again. “Can you p-please go.. Ah! Deeper…” I asked, knowing it’d hurt a bit, but it would be worth it. Joker pushed harder, deeper into me, stretching me out a bit more than before. A string of moans came past my lips when he went probably balls deep in me, and it felt so amazing. “I’m s-so, so close, Daddy…” I moaned out, pulling him closer to me and scratching my nails against the skin of his back.
“Cum, baby, cum for me…” He said shakily, shooting his load in me just as I came undone. My legs were shaking and we were both sweating and breathing heavily. He pulled his member out of me and collapsed on the bed next to me. Now one thing I knew about him was that he couldn’t let anyone see him defeated or just… done in general. But he looked quite exhausted now, beaten down.
J looked at me and turned my face in his direction by grabbing my chin. My eyelids were dropping close already, I could barely see him in front of me.
“Rest, my doll.” He said. “You did amazing.” Him kissing my lips was the last thing I felt before totally blacking out.
a/n: i fINISHED IT OMG YES AHAHHAHAH I AM SO WRITING THE NEXT MORNING TOMORROW MUHAHAHAHH THANKS FOR READING I LOVE YOU ALL SO MUCH REBLOG AND LIKE IF YOU NEED HOLY WATER I HOPE ITS NOT AS BAD AS I THINK IT IS
When I started loving EXO, I took a careful look at all 9 boys, saw you, quiet and shy and a little awkward, and I was intrigued. I thought to myself: “this boy is going to be a unique one,” and I never thought I would love you as much as I do now. You have brought me so much happiness. To me (and to countless other people), you are everything good in a person. I love how you are thoughtful, considerate, caring, and confident yet humble, and you are just so unbelieveably ideal that I genuinely in awe of you and your entire existance. You have a child’s heart, and when I see it shine through your happiness, my heart glows with happiness too. When I see you smile and laugh, I feel my lips slowly stretch into an unconcious smile. It isn’t until my brothers say, “What are you smiling at?” that I realize what I’m doing. I cherish your existance as a sunflower cherishes the sun, and honestly, I wouldn’t be as happy as I am now if I hadn’t decided to love you. You have inspired me to be more compassionate, hardworking (??), and happy, and most of all, you have inspired me to be a better person. And I thank you for that. So much. I adore you, your unique laugh, your eye smile, your humor, your compassion, and I am so proud to say that I stan a person that I can look up to as a person. So please know, Oh Sehun, that your good heart has not only affected me, but thousands of others too. Keep being an inspiration to the world as you are too me, and I love you. happy birthday Sehun ♡♡
Imagine Chris admitting he’s still in-love with you.
A/N: Lol, what’s a hiatus? This is based on Ed Sheeran’s ‘Happier’ in his new album ‘Divide’. First of all, I’m in-love with that album. If you haven’t heard it, go listen to it right now. Actually, listen to the song while you’re reading this. I promise that it’ll trigger all the feels in the world. I know I usually write happy stuff, but this song is too good not to write to so- here’s a little bit of angst for y'all. (Relax, it ends sweet.) Grab some tissues. X
“Why are you doing this to yourself, man?”
“I just have to see her, Scott,” Chris mumbled into the phone; his brother sighed on the other end. “This month has been terrible and-” he cut himself off with a shake of his head. “I just have to see her,” he repeated. “She’s the one person I want to see right now.”
“And she’s the one person that doesn’t want to see you right now, Chris,” he painfully reminded Chris; this time is was Chris’ turn to sigh. “You broke her heart, the least you can do is let her move on in peace. Don’t go to that bar, turn around and go home. You’re not going to feel better seeing her happy with someone else, just go home.”
There was a short moment of silence where Chris stopped and thought about what Scott was telling him. He knew himself and he knew was going to the bar anyway, but he thought about it. “Do you think I’m ever going to happy again?” He heard himself ask; he was doubtful without you in his life, but he could use a lie.
“Yes,” Scott answered. “Now go home, Chris.”
Chris hung up and continued down 29th and Park, ignoring both Scott’s advice and the better part of him. He made his way towards Carlson’s Bar where he knew you’d be supporting your best friend’s band, just like any other typical Friday night. His heart ached when he remembered that just a month ago, he was the one you took with you to Spencer’s show and now it was Nick; a co-worker that’d wasted no time to claim the opportunity of a lifetime that Chris so carelessly tossed aside. It was his fault, Chris knew that. He’d done quite a bit to hurt you in the three years you were together, he had thought he’d a lifetime to make it up to you; he didn’t. As much as you loved him, you couldn’t spend your entire life waiting on him to commit.
Chris turned the corner and stopped dead in his tracks; his blue eyes well with tears when he saw you in another’s arms. He was expecting it, but nothing could have braced his heart for what he laid eyes on. You were smiling, brighter than he’d seen in a while. Nick tightened his grip on you, whispering sweet nothings in your ear to make you laugh because there was no sound better than your laughter. Chris remembered when he used to do that, he used to be able to make you happy. He didn’t know when or why he stopped, he just knew it was the biggest mistake of his life. If he could go back, he would change everything so you’d be with him looking as happy- if not, happier than you were right now with Nick.
“Stop,” you laughed, squirming away from Nick’s clean shaven nuzzles. You tried not to let your smile falter when your heart reminded you of how Chris’ beard felt against your skin when he playfully nuzzled you. “Let’s go inside, it’s freezing out here.”
“Okay,” Nick smiled and pulled away from you to take your gloved hand.
You smiled as Nick held the door open for you. He was perfect, but it didn’t stop your mind from thinking of your Friday nights with Chris. It was never that simple with him, he always found a way to postpone joining the crowd because he preferred one on one time with you. He’d purposely walk slower or pretended he left something in his car so you’d have to turn back, only to find out that what he left was a kiss. As you walked inside, you found yourself remembering the way Chris would counter your “let’s go inside, it’s freezing out here” with a tighter hug that would “keep you warm, sweetheart.”
The more you thought about Chris, the worst you felt about being with Nick. It’d only been a month since you broke things off with him, how could be with someone else already? You spent three years with the man, the least you could’ve done was wait a little longer before you started to move on. Though it wasn’t likely that you were ever going to move on with anyone; Chris had ruined you for other men. If he had just shut up and committed, instead of making excuses and stalling- you’d be with him right now. You liked Nick, but your feelings for him were never going to compare with what you felt- still felt, despite how broken he left you- for Chris. He was the one for you, just as you were for him; the sad thing was he didn’t realize it until you walked out the door.
“I’m going to go grab a drink,” Nick told you and you nodded. “Do you want anything?” You shook your head; the last thing you needed was alcohol in your system. “Okay, I’ll be right back.” He gently squeezed your arm then disappeared into the crowd.
You scanned the room for familiar faces; it was the same group every Friday night. Spencer’s and yours mutual friends, as well as his other group of friends and his co-workers. It was always a good night, but it wasn’t until the first Friday night without Chris that you realized it was only always a good night because of him. You felt your vision blur as your heart wrenched in your chest; you really needed to get out of there.
The cold outside felt more inviting than the warm, slightly easing the emotional grief you’d been carrying on your shoulders since you broke up with Chris. The past month had been incredibly difficult for the both of you. The experience was about the same, neither of you liked living by yourself after living with each other for the past two years. It felt like a punch to your gut when you’d wake up without him by your side; the apartment you were now living in felt like it was constantly trying to suffocate you with isolation and loneliness. Every day, you’d wake up wondering if leaving him was the right thing to do. A month had passed and you still didn’t know if you were happier now, or happier with him.
“Y/N,” you heard Chris’ voice and you flinched. You shook your head, not wanting to turn around because there was no- “Y/N,” his hand wrapped around your wrist and he turned you around; you swallowed the urge to start crying.
“What are you doing here?” You asked, yanking your wrist out of his grip. You knew you’d break if he continued to touch you, you’d just melt right back into his arms despite everything he’d put you through. “We said clean break,” you reminded him.
“No.” He shook his head, his pretty blues glistened under the flickering street lights. “You said clean break, I told you I didn’t want to break up.” You turned away from him, taking slow, deep breaths; he didn’t need to see you cry.
“You didn’t want to commit either,” you bit as you turned back to him. “We were together for three years, Chris. We lived together for two. But still, whenever you were asked- you couldn’t admit you were in a relationship. You went out and partied like a bachelor, traveling the world like you had no one waiting on you at home.”
“Y/N, it was part-”
“It’s part of your job,” you cut him off. “Yeah, I know. That was always the excuse, wasn’t it?” Tears rolled down your cheeks and you quickly wiped them away. “I didn’t know being an actor meant you couldn’t be a boyfriend- that you couldn’t be a husband. But I do now, so- thank you, I’ll know better next time than to fall in-love with an actor.”
“I was just trying to protect you-”
“From what?” You scoffed. “From the media, from your fans? Newsflash, Chris- I knew what I was getting into when Captain freakin’ America asked me out. I didn’t need protection, I needed you to be proud to be in a relationship. I stood by you through everything; your work schedule, the distance, the tabloids and the rumors because- I loved and trusted you. But I guess all that wasn’t enough to be able to be Chris Evans’ girlfriend. You say you were protecting me, but you were just protecting yourself from commitment.”
“I know,” he nodded, agreeing with you for the first time. “I was stupid,” he said, taking your hands in his. “I wasn’t ready to settle down. I thought if I kept it from the media then- it wouldn’t be real and if we ever broke up- I wouldn’t have to deal with it. I thought if I could just get through my Marvel contract then- I don’t know, Y/N! I don’t know what I was thinking, I just-” He started to cry, making you cry. “I made a mistake, I was an idiot who didn’t know any better. But I do now, I am so in-love with you and I can’t- I can’t do this without you.”
“Am I meant to just forgive you?” You didn’t pull your hands away because you’d missed his touch. “You broke my heart, Chris,” you told him and he nodded in acknowledgment. “Do you know how much it sucked hearing people talk about how I was in a relationship with a man who couldn’t even admit he was taken? Do you know how much it hurt to see you with a fan who thinks it’s okay to get touchy because you’re apparently single? Do you realize how many of my friends’ weddings we’ve attended in our three years together? I can’t keep waiting for you to commit, Chris. I don’t want to,” you shook your head.
“I know, I’m sorry- I’m so sorry, Y/N. I just- I know how much I’ve hurt you, but I also know that no one is going to love you as much as I do. I made a mistake, that’s all- and I’m going to spend the rest of my life making it up to you. Just-” he pulled you into a tight hug, burying his face into the crook of your neck. “Please,” he begged, crying. “Please let me.”
“I’m with Nick,” you cried softly, fighting the urge to just hug him back. It broke your heart to see him like this, and God- you just wanted to kiss his sorrows away. “I’m with someone else, Chris.” You repeated and he started crying harder, clutching onto you like you were his oxygen. “I can’t-” you gently pushed Chris away, “it’s not fair on him.”
“I know,” he whispered, wiping his tears away with the back of his hand. “And it’s not fair on you either, you deserve better than me.” You tried not to cry at that. “Are you happier with him?” He asked and cupped your face in his hands, gently brushing your tears away.
“Yes,” you lied with a nod.
“Okay,” he managed a smile. “Just know that- If he breaks your heart, I’m going to be waiting right here for you.” You nodded, crying softly as Chris pressed a kiss against your forehead. “I’ll see you, Y/N.” He said as he reluctantly pulled his hands away.
You closed your eyes as he walked off into the night because you knew you’d run after him if you watched him leave. You’d rather be with Chris, everyone- including Nick, who had watched the whole thing go down from the inside- knew that. So why didn’t you go with him? Why were you so stubborn? Why didn’t Chris stay and fight for you? Nick didn’t get it, none of your friends watching did. Then, it was as though a jolt of lightning went off in both yours and Chris’ brains. You opened your eyes and started towards his direction, just as he turned around and ran back towards you. You met halfway and shared an embrace that ended in a kiss so passionate and deep that on lookers blushed.
“I’m happier with you,” you whispered when Chris broke the kiss, pressing his forehead against yours.
“And I’m only happy with you,” he responded then kissed you again, smiling. “Come with me to the premiere of Gifted,” he told you. “We’ll walk the carpet together, we’ll announce our engagement.” You felt your eyes narrow at that, but you couldn’t wipe the smile off your face; it was finally happening. “Just let me show you off to the world, let me tell everyone I’m taken.”
“But we’re not engaged,” you chuckled softly.
“Not yet,” he smiled. “The ring’s at home so I can’t-”
“Yes,” you nodded and his smile widened. “Yes, I’ll marry you.” You told him and he hugged you tightly, breathing you in. The engagement was long overdue, he wished he’d done it earlier so he didn’t cause you as much grief as he did but- he was happy things ended the way it did.
Dean pushed the motel room door open to find you exactly where he left you. You had refused to participate in the hunt the boys were currently working because it hit too close to home. You also had no fucking desire to talk about it with either of the Winchesters but especially Dean.
“There are locks on motel room doors for a reason, asshats,” you grumbled, turning over in the bed and facing away from the brothers. You caught a glimpse of Sam’s face, and he looked guilty, like he actually felt bad for breaking into your room.
Dean on the other hand just looked angry. You didn’t owe him any kind of an explanation. If you wanted to sit out a hunt, it was your damn prerogative.
“Sammy, I got this,” Dean said through clenched teeth. You could briefly hear Sam protest, but you were sure Dean had given him a look that could kill because you heard the younger Winchester’s response.
“Fine,” he huffed stepping away and heading back to the room the boys were sharing.
Dean closed the door with a thud.
“Y/N,” he began, his voice low and irritated.
“I swear to god, Dean, I don’t want to talk about it. Especially not with you. You push this, and I might literally rip your nut sack off. Right off,” you motioned with your hand without turning to look at him. You felt a tear escape your eye, and you hurried to wipe it away.
“First off all, rude. Second of all, I know you,” he growled low in his throat. “Hunts don’t bother you. Even the awful ones that remind you of how you lost your family. You’re tough as nails. You push everything down and power on. You’re a pro. I’d almost say you’re better at pushing away emotions than I am, and we both know that’s saying something.”
“You got that fucking right,” you huffed as you turned away from him again, tears steadily streaming down your face now. “Did you at least finish off the fucker?” you asked, hoping this hunt was over so that you could move on and get back to yourself without having to talk about it.
He sat down on the bed next to yours and watched you carefully.
“The Djinn is dead,” he stated. “Now are you gonna talk about this or what? You never refuse to go on a hunt. Ever. What the hell is going on?”
You sat up then, throwing your legs over the bed, the tear stains on your face evident. Dean was clearly taken aback. He rubbed his neck and looked away briefly before locking eyes with yours and pushing forward.
“Let’s talk about it. Clearly you need to, sweetheart,” he said, his voice suddenly softer now.
You scoffed and rolled your eyes. “Don’t placate me Dean. And don’t call me sweetheart,” you growled, finally meeting his eyes.
“What’s going on?” he pleaded, leaning forward, his forearms on his knees. “Is this about when you were captured by a Djinn, and we couldn’t find you for a few days? You never talked about that, but I had never seen you so scared,” Dean commented. “But you never let a monster getting a hold of you phase you. Ever,” Dean said dismissively.
You swallowed thickly and locked eyes with him. “When that monster takes away the person you love over and over again, you aren’t too keen on facing one of its kind again.” The words stumbled out of your mouth.
“Djinn don’t work like that. I remember. You get your wildest dreams,” Dean stated, confused.
“Not the one that had me. Fear. It fed on fear. And apparently my biggest fear is losing you. I watched you die over and over again those few days I was alone, waiting,” tears fell down your cheeks in earnest.
“Wait. What?” Dean asked, confused. “I don’t understand,” he mumbled, fidgeting with his pants because he didn’t know what else to do.
“I fucking love you, Dean, but don’t figure it out from the context clues or anything,” you huffed, pulling your knees up to your chest and sobbing. “I couldn’t risk getting taken again. Fears or the best dream ever, it would have involved you,” you admitted, looking into his eyes. “I couldn’t lose you over and over again,” you powered on. “And I couldn’t have you in the best way possible only to have it ripped away when you came to my rescue,” you sobbed.
Dean’s legs moved quickly, and he sat down beside you. He wrapped his arms around you tightly, and you fell into him. You cried. You cried for what felt like hours while Dean ran his fingers through your hair and rubbed your back soothingly.
“I didn’t know,” he mumbled. It was then that you realized Dean had been crying too. “I had no fucking clue,” he whispered as you pulled away to look into his eyes. Your eyes met for a brief second before his lips crashed to yours. You clung to him, the kiss desperate and deep, your tears mixing with his. He pulled away finally and whispered, “I’m so, so sorry.”
His hand cupped your face and you didn’t jerk away from his touch.
“I’ve always loved you, but you deserve better than me,” he said.
You laughed as you sobbed. “I may ‘deserve’ better, Dean, but you’re what I want. Obviously. Dreams and fears don’t lie,” you whispered as you looked into his eyes.
His eyes darted back and forth as he searched yours. His lips found yours again, this kiss tender and full of promise. “I love you,” he whispered against your lips. “And I’m going to my best to make sure your dreams aren’t torn away from you again and that your fears are never realized,” he promised, his forehead falling against yours.
“Dean, don’t make promises you can’t keep,” you answered, your hand moving to his neck and pulling him into a kiss. You felt him start to protest, but he melted into your touch.
You didn’t doubt he could make your dreams come true, but staying alive wasn’t exactly Dean Winchester’s forte.
And he had the Mark of Cain.
You knew that couldn’t end well for either of you.
Connor, if you are reading this, I have failed to say goodbye as I wanted, but the time never seemed appropriate.
I leave this land and all its resources to you. I trust you now know this place has become something of great significance. A community to serve as an example of what this would-be nation could become. But the larger and stronger it grows, the more fragile and difficult to defend it becomes. I hope your friends who are birthing this infant country understand this truth.
Your unwavering tenacity and honesty have burdened you with responsibility far greater than any one man should bear. But you, if anyone are capable. You have given an old man hope that all is not lost and for that I thank you.
I ask that you lay my bones to rest on the hill overlooking the water, there is no other place on this earth I’d rather be. I am grateful to have met you, knowing you will guide this land and these people to a better future.
Yours in brotherhood, Achilles.
I never properly said goodbye to you. I was not ready. So here I am.
The weight of my responsibilities never seems to diminish. There is always something else that needs fighting for. This is something you never warned me of, maybe because you thought I would have been deterred - you would have been wrong but I know you were not accustomed to that.
Life carries on here. The people seem happy - they are certainly safe, at least for now.
One of my brotherhood asked me something I have been struggling with, what happens if - when - we win? When we stop the Templars? It is a question I certainly do not know the answer to, perhaps you did not either.
I miss you. As I miss my mother. I hope all is well with you, wherever you are.
Goodbye, Old man, until it comes time for me to join you - then I will bother you once again.
(requested by anon) Kai Parker x Reader word count : 4 461 summary : Reader is Elena’s little sister and the Salvatore’s are over protective of her. Kai ends up staying at the Salvatore’s over night and sneaks into her room. *gif by jake-riley keep reading after the cut😉 ____________________
Y/N’s life had gotten complicated the past few years. When her older sister Elena had met Stefan , Y/N had still been in her third year of high school. Both Stefan and Damon had taken a liking to her and over time had become like family to her - like she had two older brothers. After Elena had burned down their house , Y/N had moved in with the Salvatores. Problem was they were super over protective of her. If anyone even dared to get too close to her , things would get ugly for that person. Once a classmate , her friend Jake , had come over so they can work on a project and he had played a prank on her - sneaking up from behind to scare her - and she had screamed. Damon , who had been at the kitchen in that moment making her her favourite snack , rushed to the living room and nearly choked her friend before even bothering to listen to what had happened. Stefan was the same - almost , he listened first before trying to hurt anyone. Y/N loved them and appreciated having two guarding angels at all times but sometimes things were getting a little out of control. Their over protectiveness was starting to suffocate her. Whenever a boy showed up to take her on a date , one of them would tag along and even though the Salvatore wouldn’t sit with them , it didn’t matter much because they could still hear and see everything. Elena was the only one who could get them to back off a little but that never lasted too long.
* * *
Y/N walked downstairs heading into the kitchen, her ponytail and white polca dot ribbon flapping behind her. She was wearing a black tshirt with print (the logo of her favourite band) and gray skinny jeans along with her favourite ankle high black converses.
“Hey sis.” she smiled at Elena. “And big brother.” she winked at Damon.
Her eyes drifted towards the cupcakes on the kitchen counter and just as she was about to grab one , her eyes fell on a stranger sitting on the kitchen table. He had blue eyes ,brown hair , perfect angel like features and was holding a cupcake , his fingers covered with frosting. The boy glanced at her , then at Elena and Damon.
“You have a little sister?” asked the boy. “Wait. Who’s sister is she? And …where have you kept her hidden until now?”
Y/N took one of the cupcakes , taking a bite which resulted in cupcake frosting getting on her nose. Elena wiped it away with her thumb , giving her little sister a warning look. Damon glanced between Kai and Y/N , who obviously were curious about each other by the way they were starring at one another. Kai had gotten up , shortening the distance between him and Y/N. He was smiling widely , outstretching his hand for her to shake as a hello.
“Hi. I’m Kai …and you are ?”
“Littlest Gilbert.” she laughed. “I’m Y/N , Elena’s little sister, well cousin.”
“A human.” muttered Kai to himself. “Didn’t think those existed in Mystic Falls with all the supernatural population. I see you like cupcakes as much as me. Hey maybe we can go out sometime - there is this bakery near the town square -”
“OKAY , slow down big brother.” said Damon pulling Kai away from Y/N. “You are not allowed anywhere near her. Got it? She is off limits.”
“Why not ?” wondered Y/N.
“Because he is the one who shot an arrow through Bonnie’s stomach and he is the reason she is all alone in the Prison World right now.” said Elena pushing her sister out of the kitchen door. Y/N got free and ran back towards Kai and the cupcakes.
Elena’s little sister looked at Kai , head to toe , curiousity burning in her eyes.
“He doesn’t seem dangerous.” she said. “He seems .. cute and cuddly.”
Kai laughed under his breath. “I think she likes me.”
“No , no , no.” said Damon. “No one here likes any body. Y/N , go to your room before things get ugly for mr. charming right here.”
Elena grabbed Y/N and started pushing her towards the door again.
“Fine, fine. I’m going. See you around Kai.”
“Yeah. See you around.” he replied with a wistful look in his eyes.
Damon was starring at him , his arms folded in his chest.
“If you touch her , you lose your head or heart. Or both.” threatened Damon.
“Damon !” exclaimed Elena. “Don’t threaten him. He said he’d help us get Bonnie back. That gives him a pass. At least this time…”
Elena kissed Damon on the cheek while Kai was glancing between them and the door , hoping that maybe Y/N would pop her head through there.
“You two together is still totally revolting to me.” sighed Kai. “Alright , where is that stupid Ascendant ?”
* * *
A FEW MONTHS LATER
Y/N walked into the Salvatore’s , her phone in her hands as she kept texting her friends. Elena had convinced Stefan and Damon not to hover over her that day , so she can spend it with her friends before their graduation in a few days. The Salvatores’ overprotective attitude really was getting out of control lately.
Y/N took a few steps into the living room and left her bag on the sofa hearing voices coming from the library. Whoever had come for a visit didn’t appear to be wanted. For a moment she hessitated , but in the end curiousity won over and she headed straight towards the loud voices ignoring the fact Stefan and Damon would be angry as hell if she put herself in any kind of danger.
“I just need a place to crash.”
“One night.” insisted Kai. “Don’t think your house was my first choice. Look I know we don’t get along , specially after that wedding fiasco , for which I am very sorry by the way. What Bonnie did hurt me and I snapped. It’s not like you two haven’t screwed up majorly at some point in your life.”
Stefan folded his hands , nodding and rolling his eyes listening to Kai. Last thing he and his brother wanted was Kai spending the night over , specially with Y/N being in the house. Kai had been dangerous before he turned into a heretic and now who knew what he’d do if he got upset. None of them were willing to risk it.
“I am trying to be better.” added Kai. “Please ? See how nice I am ? I even said ‘please’.”
“You are not not staying.” argued Damon.
Y/N made her way down the hall as quietly as possible. Not that it would do her any good considering the Salvatore’s were vampires and could hear her coming from a mile away. Quite literally. Whoever it was in there with them , might not make it out alive unless she intervined.
“It’s just for one night.” said a very familiar voice that made Y/N stop right at the door. “Please ? I promise to behave. Also need I remind you that you owe me for not going through with that crazy idea your psychopath of a mother had about linking Elena to Bonnie for all eternity ?”
“Because you did that out of the goodness of your heart ?” asked Stefan.
“Not important why I did it.” said Kai. “The important thing is that I did and now you owe me.”
“Fine.” groaned Damon. “But you are not allowed anywhere near her. Got it ?”
“Anywhere near who?” said Y/N walking in. Damon and Stefan groaned. Kai looked happier than ever she had walked in in that moment. He ran his fingers through his hair and took a small step towards her , stopping a second later realising if he took another someone might snap his neck. Kai smiled widely at her and she smiled back at him , taking a step towards the Salvatores. “Are you two going to keep it up with the over protective stuff? I love you but seriously - I am graduating high school , the ceremony is in two days. Are you planing on going to Whitmore with me too ?”
“No.” said Stefan. “We are just -”
“Being the most loving , carrying yet extremely annoying not-blood-related older brothers ?” interrupted Kai making both Salvatoress turn towards him. He could see Y/N was trying hard not to start laughing. “Sorry. I couldn’t help it. Can I at least say HI to her or is this forbidden too ?”
Damon poured himself a drink and drank most of it while Stefan motioned for Kai that it’s OK if he wants to say HI. In a flash Kai hugged Y/N under the absolutely shocked facess of the Salvatore brothers.
Your hand absentmindedly reached up to rub the remaining sleep from your eyes as you readjusted your bag strap on your shoulders. Glancing down at your phone for the time before you pushed open the door to the hospital, bidding a short good morning to the guard by the enterence.
When you looked back up from your phone, you saw Shaun standing right in the center of the lobby. He was dressed in his usual blue scrubs and coat, he was looking right at you until your gazes met. He gave you a stiff wave and then kept his eyes on his folded hands.
“Dr. Murphy?” You said as you walked up to him, hands in your pockets. “You’re early today.”
“Yes, I am,” Shaun reaffirmed, clearing his throat as he looked back at you. “You weren’t here yesterday.”
You shook your head. “No, I wasn’t. But I’m fine now, no need to worry.”
“I did though,” He said over you. “I was worried something had happened because you weren’t sleeping. Did you rest like you promised?”
You smiled. “Yes, I did. I’m sorry for making you worry. It was just a bug is all, Claire told me she’d give me a stern talking to if I didn’t stay home till I felt better.”
“Why don’t you take care of yourself?” Shaun asked after a short pause.
It took you a second to get back from the minor shock of being asked such a blunt question. “I do take care of myself.” You said with a short laugh.
“But you just said Claire was the one who made you take off work even though you were sick. And she told me you had a very long history of doing this kind of thing.”
You remained silent, and Shaun took it as a sign to elaborate further.
“I understand that as a doctor your schedule isn’t always the same, but you should try to make sure you’re healthy and-”
“Uhm, I should probably-” You broke to point aimlessly in some direction. “-I should go get my scrubs on. I’ll see you later.”
Shaun couldn’t even think of a response before you all but sprinted away from him to your locker.
Shaun didn’t see you for the rest of the day, even on the busiest of days; he’d always manage to at least catch a glance of you. But it was like you weren’t even in the hospital again.
After his shift was over, Shaun was quick to change into street clothes; practically shoving his coat on as he quickly walked to the main enterence lobby.
He looked around, seeing the usual receptionist and guard that covered the night shifts, and a couple people hanging around the sitting area as they read magazines or talked to one another while drinking out of cheap, plastic coffee cups.
You usually left late, so he figured he’d wait around and catch you before you left. He didn’t fully understand what had made you so upset, but it felt like it was something he said.
Shaun looked down at his phone to look at the time, fifteen minutes had past and still nothing.
He continued to do the same thing, checking precisely every fifteen minutes for around two hours. Looking up everytime he heard footsteps; expecting to see you walking up to the doors or tying back your hair.
He took another look at the time, Shaun would have to leave now if he wanted to catch the bus home. He looked up one final time, glancing at the various enters into the lobby, but no one came by.
Shaun stood up, sliding his phone into his pocket as he started towards the exit. Maybe he could find you tomorrow.
Shaun stood in front of the mirror, ruffling around his hair as he looked down at his phone for the time. He was at least half an hour ahead of his normal schedule, wanting to get at the hospital so he was certain he’d catch you come into work.
But when he went into the hospital as usual, you were now the one standing in the middle of the room; waiting on him.
You weren’t dressed in your scrubs, but Shaun saw you rocking back and forth on your feet and you gave him a small smile when you two saw each other.
“Morning, Shuan,” You said when you walked up to him. “How was the bus ride here?”
“Normal, well not exactly, I was early so the usual people weren’t there.” Shaun explained.
You nodded. “I wanted to say sorry, for avoiding you yesterday.”
“I had planned on talking to you about it,” He looked down at you. “I was worried that you’d still be upset with me.”
“Oh no, I wasn’t upset with you. I think I was upset with myself because I knew you were right and I had to confront the issue; I wanted to ignore it for a little longer.”
“Well good,” Shaun said with a nod. “Are we still friends?”
“Course,” You affirmed with a laugh. “I would never be upset with someone for something so trivial. I know you had good intentions when you asked me about it.”
Shaun nodded again. “Good,” He repeated, not entirely sure how to carry on the conversation.
You inhaled, your shoulders rising slightly as you did so. “I should go get ready for work, I’m sure Claire’s trying to hunt me down as we speak.”
I have been suspecting that we’ll get an arc of Sam using witchcraft for a couple seasons, and now this moments kind of hammers the nail - what better than ‘I am brother, not witch, he is witch!’ ironically foreshadows Sam being brother and witch?
This season has been emphasizing Sam’s fascination with magic, he’s asked Rowena for help again, he’s connected with people who are hunters and witches at the same time, he’s told Magda that having powers doesn’t inherently make you evil but it’s a matter of choices - do you also think everything points to an arc where Sam finally uses supernatural powers by his own full choice?
anonymous requested: Could I ask for a Negan imagine please :) based on how I appear, green eyes, dark almost black hair, and pale skin and can the reader be called Laura (not my name but similar) can the reader be underestimated by the saviours (because she’s like 21) she saves negans life with her amazing killing and shooting skills and Negan repays her with smut?
Character(s): Negan and Laura (original female character) Summary: An underestimated, young Savior saves Negan’s life and he repays her the only way he knows how. Word Count: 2,568 Warning: SMUT! Author’s Note: Thank you to the anon who requested this! I love it when someone saves Negan’s ass, even more so that it’s a young woman who is just as badass. It’s awesome! Makes him more human and less invincible like he makes himself out to be lmao. So, I hope you enjoy this! Thank you for sending it in! :-)
A/N: This piece is going to be more than just about the angst and the fluff, it’s about addressing a serious issue in both my own life and society; an issue that seems to carry a stigma that prevents one from talking about it without shame. Now I started writing because it was the only time where I felt like I had true control over anything, over myself- over life. It’s honestly the reason I’m still alive sometimes. (Super dark, I’m sorry.) I have had an eating disorder for years now, and this is possibly the first time I’m publishing a story where I properly address that because I feel like Tumblr is a safe space and perhaps there is someone reading who will find comfort in my words and seek the help that I, too, am afraid to seek. First of all, you are not alone. Secondly, I know how scary it is. Thirdly, we are beautiful despite how often our reflection tell us we are not. Lastly, you are worthy and you deserve a love like this. Why am I writing this now, while I’m on my holiday having the time of my life? Because mental disorders don’t stop when you’re on holiday, and they don’t stop when you’re working, or studying for a major exam. I just want those who are suffering from this, or depression, or anxiety to know that I am with them always. ❤️
You tapped your pen anxiously against the table as you reread your food diary entry for the day. All the while you could hear the voices in your head telling you that “it’s too much”, that “you failed”, that you needed to “do better” and “be better”, and the harder you tried to ignore said voices, the louder they got. You lowered your pen and closed your notebook, taking slow breaths as your eyelids blackened your vision. You were okay, there was always tomorrow. You could eat less tomorrow; you’d succeed tomorrow; you’d be better and do better tomorrow.
You broke from your concentration when you heard Chris come through the front door, calling out to you. “Babe, I’m home!” Relief escaped your lungs as if he were the only thing capable of saving you from yourself. You returned yourself to your bittersweet reality, stowing your food diary in your top desk drawer where it lived with all your other notebooks; all filled with your thoughts, both blissful and pained.
“Hey you,” Chris smiled at you when you entered the kitchen. You managed one back, despite how tired and heartbroken you were; Chris noticed, but he said nothing knowing it would cause you to break down if he asked. “How was your day?” He asked as you forced your way into his arms, burying your face in his chest.
“Same old,” you mumbled, appreciating how comforting his touch was. He stroked your back gently, peppering soft kisses onto the top of your head. “How was yours?” You quizzed, glancing up at him for a moment before pressing your face back into his chest. God, he smelt so good; he smelt more than just his refreshing cologne, he smelt like warmth and kindness and happiness. He smelt like a dose of everything you needed after the day you had.
“Better now that I’m with my girl,” he smiled, giving you a tight squeeze before he released you. You leaned against the island counter while Chris proceeded to unpack the small bag of groceries he’d brought back with him. “So I’ve been thinking,” he glanced back at you, feeling his heart ache at the sight of your tired eyes. “Why don’t we go away for the weekend? We can rent a cabin, go immerse ourselves in the quiet forest. It’ll be nice, don’t you think?”
You knew Chris only suggested going out to a cabin when he was worried about you. It didn’t start out like that, it started off as a getaway where the two of you could spend some time alone without modern technology and people getting in the way. But over the years, it’d become a retreat where one could rid oneself of all the stress, and the emotional dread, and the weight of the world that was on one’s shoulders; that one being you, and occasionally Chris when he was having a particularly stressful time. It was a nice place to be because you wouldn’t have anything to stress and trigger you; you could just exist, drinking the calm and the quiet that Mother Nature provided. But it was also a horrible place to be because Chris would take that opportunity to talk to you, to worry and fuss about you, to love you with a love that you didn’t feel like you deserve, and unlike the city, you’d have no where, nothing, and no one to hide behind.
“I don’t know,” your fingers played with your right earlobe; a nervous tick Chris had deciphered over the years. “I feel like this isn’t a good time. You’re busy with work and I’m busy with work- I don’t think now’s a good time to have a getaway.”
“I think it’s because we’re so busy that we need a getaway,” he countered. “We can’t keep working ourselves to the bone, Y/N.” Especially not mentally, he thought but he didn’t say out loud. “I’m about to leave for Infinity War, now’s a good a time as any for us to have some alone time.” You let out a quiet sigh, but stopped arguing because you knew from Chris’ firm tone that saying no wasn’t an option. “Pack a bag, okay?” He kissed your cheek and you nodded with a forced smile. “We’ll leave in the morning.”
• • • • • • • •
The car ride out to the cabin wasn’t as bubbly as your usual car rides together; there was a fog of emotions, but happiness wasn’t one of them. You didn’t sing or joke, and you most definitely didn’t eat anything. It broke Chris’ heart to see you like this, and it broke yours to see what you were doing to him. It was actually your biggest fear to hurt him the way you were which was why you rejected him when he asked you out the first few times. He had this light in his eyes that you didn’t want to kill with your dark, you’d done enough of that over the course of your existence.
You’d lost friends, and boyfriends, and even some members of your family- you didn’t want to invest in another person only to lose them too. But Chris was persistent. He respected your decision to not be with him romantically, but remained in your life as a friend. A very good friend- a best friend that you couldn’t help but fall in-love with. He was the perfect man, he cared for you and loved you unconditionally. Even after finding out about what you suffered from, he didn’t go anywhere. He was one of the few who promised you a lifetime and actually proved he’d keep his promise, and so you let your walls down and allowed him into your life as your romantic partner.
Two and a half years later, after dozens of panic attacks and days where you’d avoid food altogether, you were still with him and he was as in-love with you as the first time he saw you. Till this day you didn’t understand why, because to you, you were unlovable. But that wasn’t how Chris saw you, he knew you weren’t your disorders; you were intelligent, and talented, and strong, and beautiful, and resilient. He loved you because of all that, but most of all, he loved you because you remained kind despite the constant hell you were dragged through. You may not have seen what he saw, but you were every bit the girl you aspired to be, and until you saw yourself in that same light- he wasn’t going to stop working you towards that.
“Hey.” You turned away from the window when Chris reached for your hand and pulled it onto his lap as he gave it a light squeeze. “What are you thinking about?” He asked then lifted your hand to his lips, kissing your knuckles. You felt your lips quirk into a smile; that was an act of affection you’d never get tired of.
“Nothing,” you shook your head.
“Do you want to know what I’m thinking about?” He quizzed and you nodded. “How much I love you.” He threw a grin your way and you managed a laugh; he smiled because that was what he loved to hear. “You make me feel like I’m the luckiest man on the planet everyday, Y/N.” He forced himself not to well up when he saw you did. “Everyday,” he repeated in a firmer tone.
“I feel the same way about you, Chris,” you squeezed his hand and smiled. “I love you to a point where you could easily ruin me,” you admitted under your breath as you pulled your hand from his. You didn’t mean for Chris to hear it, but he did and he understood it. It was the same for him; you were going to be someone he’d never get over if he was ever unlucky enough to lose you.
“I’m never going anywhere,” he glanced at you as you closed your eyes, pretending to drift off. “You know that, right?” He waited for an answer, but he didn’t get one. “I’m planning to spend the rest of my life with you, sweetheart.” He said as he came to a stop at a red light. He leaned over the gearbox and kissed the side of your head gently, whispering as he pulled away, “don’t you worry.”
• • • • • • • •
Chris watched you over the table as you unconsciously stared at your food. You were so used to contemplating the pros and cons of consuming anything that you didn’t even realize you were doing it until you called yourself out. It was incredibly heartbreaking for Chris to see that you couldn’t even do what humans were meant to do in order to survive without first spending hours fighting yourself on it. The motto you lived by: eating is a choice, not a necessity.
You had good days where you could eat and not feel like your entire world was falling apart, then you had bad days where you couldn’t even eat a salad without feeling like you needed to throw it back up. It was so fickle that you didn’t know if you were actually suffering from an eating disorder, or if you were just a health nut who wanted to look good. But no health nut would do what you constantly did to yourself, there was something definitely wrong with you.
Chris could still remember when he first confronted you about it, it was probably one of the hardest things he’d ever had to do. You weren’t dating when he found out about your eating disorder, but he was already in-love with you so it didn’t stop his heart from shattering at the sounds of your cries. It didn’t seem like normal crying to him, it was as though he could hear your soul break. The pain you were in was immense but mental, and nothing he did could’ve taken it away. In that moment, seeing the love of his life bawl her eyes out, he thought he’d died and gone to hell.
“Are you going to eat that?” Chris asked gently.
“Um…” You looked up at him, your eyes glistened. “Yeah,” you forced a smile, “I am.” You picked up your knife and fork and poked at the roasted chicken breast on your plate before cutting a small piece and putting in into your mouth. “It’s good,” you mumbled after swallowing.
Now he didn’t want to push you, but his worry had reached the edge of the cliff. You needed to eat something and you needed to eat it now because he didn’t want you to get lightheaded or suffer from gastric pains again. “Y/N,” he began with a sigh.
“What?” You were frustrated with yourself and on the verge of crying. “I’m eating, aren’t I?”
“You have to try harder than that,” he told you. Both of you could both hear how worried he was for your physical and mental health, and that he was on the verge of crying too. “I know how difficult this-” he began but was cut off.
“I love you, Chris, but you don’t.” You shook your head as you rose to your feet, weeping as you did. “And I really don’t want to do this with you right now. Excuse me,” you walked out of the dining room and headed straight for the backdoor so you could take a walk and calm down.
The air was crisp outside. Actually, it was a lot colder than your unprotected body could endure. You wrapped your arms around yourself, rubbing warmth through your thin sweater. You heard the door open then heavy footsteps crunching towards you, you closed your eyes and fought the urge to cry as Chris draped your coat over your shoulders.
“I’m sorry,” he whispered, rubbing your arms. “You’re right, I don’t get it. If you’re not ready, then- you’re not ready.” Your shoulder shook gently as you cried as quietly as you could. “I can’t force recovery on you, I can just be here for you as you recover. I’m sorry, Y/N,” he repeated as he gently turned you around. “I’m really sorry, sweetheart.” He cupped your face in his hands and brushed away your tears, starting to cry himself. “I’m sorry you’re going through all this, I’m sorry you think you’re not beautiful because you are.”
“I’m broken, aren’t I?”
“No,” he shook his head then pulled you into his arms, holding you tightly against him. “You’re not broken, you’re just lost right now. But we’re going to get you out of this, okay?” He rubbed your back soothingly as you cried into his shoulder. “I promise you, this pain isn’t going to be forever.” He pulled back to take your face in his hands again, “and I always keep my promises, don’t I?” You nodded, sobbing. “So believe me, you’re going to be okay.”
“I love you,” you choked out as he pulled you back in for another hug.
“I love you too,” he whispered, clutching onto you as tightly as he could.
Characters: Sam, Lucifer ( or Casifer if you want to be technical), Dean x Reader, Amara, Gabriel x Reader (you’ll see)
Word Count: 1,627
Warnings: angst, slight fluff
A/N: I wrote this a while ago, maybe a month or two ago, and I decided to post it finally. I hope you all like this! Feedback is welcomed and appreciated! I love you all so much! <3
Ever since Dean removed the mark of Cain, there had been this unspoken tension between the two of you. You loved Dean, and he loved you, but there was one huge problem; the darkness, or Amara as she called herself. Dean was your boyfriend, but Amara acted as if you didn’t exist. You didn’t take her affection for Dean lightly.
When you finally came face to face with Amara, she was not pleased with you. She made sure to note that Dean and her were bonded. You chose not to give a shit about what she said. You weren’t willing to lose Dean, especially to Amara. By the time Amara was done with you, you were beaten and bloody. Lucifer was the one to heal you. If it wasn’t for him, you probably would have died of internal bleeding.
“[Y/N] please,” Dean pleaded. “Amara will kill you.” Dean’s eyes looked over the blood that still stained your skin and your clothes.
Night in the woods again :P, seems to be my thing now. Wonder what I’ll be doing anddrawing after Jack finishes the game. Watching this in the evening before going to sleep is my safe place. I love the voices, colours, dialogues, character’s and the game in general even more every episode.
Really liked the last one! It was so calming and yet still scary. This part was probably my favourite because it was just so thoughtful, that’s why I drew it obvs. Jack as Mae today cause he really identified with her last episode. We all kinda do. (Especially since she’s bi/pan. Like how awesome is that! I love this game for showing how normal being queer is. Gregg and Angus and now Mae :3)
I hope Jack gets better soon and am looking forward to the next episode! @therealjacksepticeye
I never thought I would write a imagine about Monty, but oh my god I’m obsessed
with him lately, we all know how attractive it is a redeemable bad boy, I’ve
lived this with Reggie already lol.
this imagine it’s a little sad (?) at first I wanted to write one based on
Sorry by Halsey, but it turned out being this, truth is that you end up showing
your mood when your writing and obviously I wasn’t in my happiest mood writing this
one, but now I am feeling a lot better and I want to write one really fluffy
and flirty and happiness everywhere so stay tuned.
you like this one xx
Warnings: Mention of sexual assault and english is not my first language.
had been a week since I ended my relationship with Monty and since that moment
I had been receiving messages and calls, which I didn’t answer, he tried to
talk with me every day in the halls or at lunch, but I had avoid him perfectly.
understood why he felt the need of talking with me, because for him it didn’t
make sense that what we had would had ended, our relationship worked so good,
we were the image of balance you need between two people in order to make
something work. I heard people talk when I passed next to them, how the wonder
why we had broken up.
truth was that I was broken inside, but I was the best when it came to pretend
a complete different feeling outside that what I was feeling inside, for
example right now in the inside my heart was completely shattered and even more
when I saw Monty and his attempts of talking with me, but in the outside I made
it look like if I didn’t care about him, like if I didn’t even know him.
thought that he would end up giving up and he would move on with his life, but
day after day he kept coming to me, he didn’t want to forget about us.
was a day in particular that I found really hard, Monty’s birthday. That day
everyone wished him happy birthday in the halls, someone even invited me to the
party they were throwing for him at Bryce’s, I obviously wouldn’t go.
I opened my locker I saw his present, I had bought it a month ago because there
were a couple of tickets for an important baseball game and I knew how much he
wanted to go and his mother didn’t let him buy the ticket because he got a bad
grade, but I knew he wold end up passing that subject and that’s why I bought
them, but now they were useless.
had them in my hand, but I didn’t put them out of my locker so that way no one
would see them. That was the first day I felt I could end up crying in front of
everyone in that hall, but the sound of a locker closing next to me brought me
back to reality and I left the tickets, closing my locker like if there were a
leaned my back against the cold metal and I looked at the people around me
until my eyes met with his for a few seconds, making him start coming in my
“(Y/N) wait please!”
he exclaimed when I started to walk away from him.
“Happy birthday Monty!” I
looked behind for a second to see how one of the cheerleaders had stopped him
to talk to him, even though he kept looking at me.
locked myself in one of the cubicles in the bathroom, I had to go to my next
class, but I didn’t think I could make it; I needed to take a break.
hands were shaking, which made me even more nervous, so I crossed my arms in
front of me, trying to make them stop. I repeated over and over again that
everything would be fine; that I had made the right decision even thought it
my back on one of the cubicle walls and I slid until I was sitting on the
floor, I hugged my legs against my chest and when I heard the bell rang that’s
when I burst into tears.
made myself stop when I heard the bathroom door opening, I even hold my breath
to make it look like I wasn’t there, but they had heard me.
“I know there’s someone there” I
heard a familiar voice say “I didn’t
mean to bother you, but if you need help… I won’t judge” then I recognized
the voice, it was my loved friend Hannah.
“It’s me…” I
sniffed not moving from my position “(Y/N)”
appeared for a few seconds before I saw under the door how Hannah had sat on
the other side.
“Do you want to talk about it?”
she knew everything I was going through and all my thoughts, sometimes I
wondered if she knew me better than I know myself.
“No” my voice
cracked in that moment, showing that I was worse than I expected “I don’t know…”
“I know I’ve said this before… but I
think you should do something about it and you should definitely talk to Monty
and hear what he has to say about it”
appeared again, this time longer than before. I knew Hannah was right, but if I
talked about it I feel like the pain wouldn’t stop and if I talk to Monty I
didn’t know how that conversation could end up.
opened the cubicle door and Hannah stood up quickly, wrapping her arms around
me instead of say or ask something else, I hugged her back until I felt I had
my strength back.
spent the rest of the hour with her, talking about the possible scenarios I
could find when I talk with Monty, even though I don’t think anything could
prepare me for what I would find.
the bell rang again when left the bathroom and Hannah went to her next class,
wishing me luck, and I walked to the classroom where I knew I would find Monty.
was talking to Zach when they exited the class and when I saw him my heart
skipped a beat and my body froze, I was close to turn around and leave, run
away as fast as I could, but I saw Zack warning Monty of my presence and when
he looked at me he stopped talking.
started walking in my direction; I guess he thought I’d try to run from him,
because I saw his surprised expression when he noticed I didn’t move, looking
at him all the time.
“Ca-can we talk?”
he sounded almost confused.
just nodded while I bit my lip, so hard that in any moment I could start
tasting the blood.
walked in silence to the gym, which was empty. I drop my bag on the floor next
to the bleachers and I turned in his direction.
“I’m sorry, okay? I don’t know what
I’ve done wrong, but I’m sorry, please forgive me” He said
walking towards me and taking my hands in his.
looked at our hands and then at him again. People weren’t use to see this side
of Monty, how he needed another person and he would do anything to keep someone
by his side, even though he hadn’t to act like the asshole everyone thinks he is.
put my hands away from him and I saw in his eyes how much that hurt him “You haven’t done anything wrong Monty” I
said with a weak smile “You are the
perfect boyfriend, every girl would be lucky to have you”
didn’t know if his expression was more confused or surprised by my words.
“But then… why? Why did you break
up?” that was the hard part of this conversation.
sighed heavily looking at my hands, I couldn’t stop playing with them “You deserve someone better Monty and-“
“What? What do you mean with someone
better?” he said cutting me “I want you (Y/N), I deserve you” he cupped my face with his hands
to make me look him in the eyes.
“You don’t get it… I… I can’t give
you what you need” I put my hands on his, moving them
away from me “I’m sorry Mont, sorry that I can’t believe that anybody ever
really starts to fall in love with me, it is not your fault, I’m a mess and
I’m never going to change, I’m sorry if I’ve hurt you because that’s the last
thing I wanted to do…”
stared at each other in silence, I was trying to keep my façade and not start
crying and I really think he was feeling the same way because he started biting
his lip, something he only does when he’s feeling vulnerable.
“I don’t know what’s going on”
he said in a calm tone “But (Y/N), I
love you, I am in love with you” he got closer to me if that was even
possible “Please tell me what’s
happening, let me help you. I’ve tried to ignore it because I know you don’t
like to talk about your problems, but this is enough” he put one of his
hands in my cheek and that gesture and his words were what he needed to break
me and let the tears fall fast through my cheeks.
a second thought he brought me towards him and he hugged me, rubbing my hair
slowly and kissing my temple. I wrapped my arms around his waist tightly, like
if something was going to try to take him away from me.
seemed like if we stayed like that for an eternity and I was okay with that,
because being between his arms was my favourite place to be.
“I didn’t want to…” I
cried griping his shirt “I didn’t want
to…” I repeated closing my eyes tightly.
made some space between us to be able to look at me and when I opened my eyes
to see him I noticed how worried he was.
“(Y/N) what’s going on?” I
closed my eyes again and I tighten my lips together trying to find the right
way to say what I had to say.
“Something happened to me…” I
opened my eyes to see his face when he heard my words through my shaky voice “in that party we went two weeks ago…”
my tears started to fall faster and my voice was cracking with every word.
“Wh-what do you mean? What happened?” I
could hear how fast his heart was beating in that moment, even faster than mine.
“I drank too much… an-and I went to
one of the rooms to rest” I sobbed “someone entered the room… I thought it was you when I felt kisses in
my neck” I bit my lip trying to stay as calm as I could “but when I opened my eyes it wasn’t you…”
I cried even more than before because of the memory.
felt his body tense under my hands and how much he was trying to keep himself
“I-I tried to push him away… but I
couldn’t” he wrapped his arms around me again and I cried with
my face hidden in his neck “I was so
scared….” I whispered “I tried to
scream… fight… and I couldn’t”
“Who did it?” he
asked in a cold tone after a few minutes in silence.
didn’t say anything so he made me look at him and he repeated the question.
“I know what you’ll do if I tell you
who did it” I said wiping my tears.
“Of course you know it! I’m going to
do what that son of a bitch deserves!” he exclaimed
finally losing it “Why didn’t you tell
me anything? You should have come to me first” he add softening his voice
and trying to make me look him in the eyes.
“Because I still can’t believe this
has happened” I answered looking at him and starting my crying
he said quickly cupping my face with his hands and kissing my forehead “I’m sorry” he said once again “fuck this is so frustrating” he whispered
before making me look at him “but you’re
going to be okay, I promise” now he seemed to feel guilty and that made me
feel even worse “I’m going to be by your
side through everything and that asshole it’s going to pay” I shacked my
head when I realized what he meant.
“I’m not going to do anything” I
said it so weakly that I almost couldn’t hear me, but I know he heard me
because of how he reacted.
“You can’t let this go away so easily
babe” he tried to sound as calm as he could “You can’t let him go away with what he’s
“I can’t do this Monty… I know what’s
going to happen if everyone knows about what happened, one way or another
people will look at me and talk about me; it’s his word against mine”
“If someone dares to say something
about you I’ll make sure they don’t see the sun again” I
couldn’t help but smile weakly, even though I wouldn’t let him do anything to
anyone it was a relief knowing that I could count on him and that he was by my
side no matter what.
“I love you” I
said out of nowhere, getting what I wanted, which was see him smile “I just thought you would be better without
me after what happened, because I don’t know if I will be the same again” I
said looking at him through my glassy eyes.
“There’s nothing you can do that makes
me stop loving you” he said caressing my cheeks with his
put my hands on his and I closed my eyes, enjoying the touch of his skin
“You have to promise me that you won’t
do anything if I tell you who did this” I said after
a long silence.
want to say his name out loud because it was something pretty painful, but I
think Monty deserved to know.
“I… I promise you”
he said not very sure
opened my eyes, I knew he would be furious no matter the name I said, but I
knew even better that when he heard who did this he probably would lose it, but
I had to do it “It was Bryce…” I
said feeling a lump on my throat.
felt his hands tense and I could see how he clenched his jaw; he had to sigh
deep a couple of times to control his berating.
slide my hands through his forearms, making him come back to this moment and
not think about all the possible scenarios where he killed Bryce. There was a
mix of rage and helplessness in his eyes, something I hadn’t seen before.
“I’m so sorry for doing this to you,
I’m sorry for ruining your birthday” I said with
a shaky voice.
“You haven’t ruined anything”
he said calmly “You haven’t done
anything wrong, do you hear me? So stop apologizing” he added kissing my
gave him my best smile thanking him his words “Can we leave?” I asked in a whisper.
nodded before kissing my lips carefully and wrapping his arm around my
shoulders. He grabbed my bag and we left for the rest of the day.
that day I didn’t go to school for a few days, the same way I didn’t go the
week after the party, it was like coming back to that again.
came to my house after classes and he stayed until I fell sleep at night, but
that day he didn’t showed up at his usual hour, I decided to wait in case
something came up and he was coming late, but after an hour I called him, not
getting an answer and then I started to get worried.
went to his house to look for him, I saw his jeep on the entrance and that
calmed me a little bit because at least I knew where he was, but when I knock
at the door and nothing happened I started to get worried again. I took the
emergency key, which I obviously knew where it was and I got in like if I were
at my own house.
“Monty?” the house
was in complete silence.
went upstairs to his room and then I heard his voice, in his bathroom, I heard
how he was swearing and letting some groans scape his lips.
“Monty?” I asked
knocking at the door.
suddenly stopped hearing him and after a few seconds he unlocked the door, I
waited for him to open it, but when he didn’t I pushed it open and then I saw
him, he had a black eye and cuts in his nose, cheek and lips.
eyes were wide open by that moment and I went to him quickly, taking his face
between my hands carefully.
“What happened?” I
didn’t get an answer, just the look he gave me every time he does something he
know I don’t approve and then I knew it, I knew what he had done so I put my
hands away from him.
“I had to do it, I promise you I’ve
tried to control it all this time, but today I couldn’t help it anymore” I
noticed how his voice was about to crack “I
couldn’t do like anything happened after what he did and I wasn’t there to stop
it” and then it hit me, he felt more gilt than all the rage he could hold
against Bryce and getting in a fight with him was a way to try to release all
“Look at me” I
said putting my hands on his neck “there’s
nothing you could’ve done, you can’t blame yourself for this”
“I should have been with you and
nothing would have happened” he said with tears in his eyes.
wrapped my arms around his neck and brought him closer to me, trying to comfort
him “stop it Mont, it’s not your fault”
I felt his arms around my waist and how his body relaxed under our touch.
didn’t know how I would get over this or if I could be the same again, stop
feeling this fear that something is about to happen all the time or the feeling
that I’m hopeless, but if I knew something for sure was that if I had Monty by
my side I would be fine and we’d get over this together.