and how proud of herself amy is

anonymous asked:

idk if you have ever watched avatar the last airbender but if you have, what type of bender would each of the b99 squad be in your opinion? :o

OMG I LOVE AVATAR: THE LAST AIRBENDER AND LEGEND OF KORRA & I LOVE THIS ASK !! THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR IT !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (PS: Sorry this reply took so long. I’m evidently a Mess.) 

Before anything tho, I’d like to say that these are *my* headcanons, and I totally get that other people might have different thoughts about what element each character bends! Let’s all respect each other’s opinions and just agree that CHEDDAR IS THE AVATAR. (Okay, maybe not. But let’s still keep the angry arguments to a minimum, yeah??)

Terry is an earthbender. He’s brute strength and all muscle. While he’s never managed to metalbend, he’s known for literally moving mountains.

He once participated in the Earth Rumble competition as part of an undercover op and ended up winning the title of Earthbending Champion. His prize belt had to be submitted as evidence because it was rumored to be made of solid cocaine, and Jake has definitely tried to dig it up out of the locker to pose with. (”Peralta! No tampering with past evidence!” “I’m wearing gloves, Sarge! And the belt’s in a baggy! It’s fine! Just let me be Champion for once!!!” “You don’t even earthbend!”)

Holt is a firebender. He had the brash recklessness of a firebender in his youth, but time and experience have given him the wisdom and clarity of mind to master lightningbending. When he isn’t busy running the Nine-Nine, he enjoys honing his sword fighting skills and playing Pai Sho.

Rosa is an earthbender. In her days as a ballerina, her seismic sense had come in handy when she had to keep track of the precise positions of her fellow dancers. Now, her seismic sense allows her to pinpoint criminals in hiding and is especially useful before/during raids. Metalbending had come naturally to her, and she likes using the skill in crafting everything from jewelry to swords. 

Jake is a firebender. He’s all attack and impulse and “eyes closed, head first, can’t lose.”

He had actually gotten firebending from his dad; Nana and his mom were both airbenders. Roger had stuck around long enough to teach him the basics (i.e. how not to burn the house down), but he walked out before Jake could learn the more advanced techniques. Jake had grown up pretty much wishing he was an airbender, like the strong women he knew and loved.

When Jake figured out at age 9 that he could lightningbend, he was so excited about it – except he accidentally hurt Gina while trying to show off his new skill, and he vowed never to attempt lightningbending after. It’s Holt who eventually teaches him how to master, not fear his power.

Charles is an earthbender. The Boyles had always been burrowers, and Charles swears Great Nana Boyle learned how to earthbound from the badger moles themselves. Charles was a beast of a pro-bender in his college days but gave up the sport because it brought out his competitive side (and also because he ate half a rock disk and was strongly advised by his doctor to take a break for an indefinite amount of time).  

Gina is an airbender. She’s not one for training or practicing forms, but she does enjoy meditating and visiting the spirit world every now and then. When she and Jake were younger, she tried to “firebend” with him using a lighter and a can of hairspray. He also once tried to “airbend” with her when she was learning how to fly. (Needless to say, Nana was not happy either of those times.)

Amy is a waterbender. She comes from a long line of waterbenders and learned how to heal from her abuela. (None of her brothers can do it, so she’s very proud of herself.) 

As a child, she heard about bloodbending in myths. As a cop, she reads about it in case files that make her stomach churn. She could never even imagine using her bending to directly manipulate another person. That is, until an escaped convict is 2 seconds away from slashing Jake’s throat, and she finds herself acting on autopilot to save the love of her life.

the nine-nine party line

instead of doing the dishes in my sink that are probably gaining sentience as we speak, i made this list of headcanons re: the nine-nine’s group chat. (gina approved the name “nine-nine party line” because…..because) feel free to reblog with your own hcs! under the cut because i got carried away lmao

ok so let’s start it off with everyone’s display names in the chat. full disclosure, i don’t know if there’s actually a chat service that lets you change other people’s display names to the whole group, but for the sake of these i’m pretending there is

  • Jake actively changes his name to “cool” things (kingjakerulez, deathblade, the barracuda, etc) but Amy keeps changing it to Pineapples
  • In retaliation, Jake keeps changing Amy’s from Amy Santiago to just dumb ridiculous names (fart monster, the second best detective in the nypd, maxi pads, etc)
  • It’s a never-ending battle between the two and a running joke in the group
  • Gina sets her name to Queen G or Supreme Ruler or something and everyone just agrees like “Yeah that seems right”    
  • When Holt is added in, he’s simply Captain Ray Holt and Jake immediately changes it to dad and after a few times of him switching it back and Jake following suite, he gives up and relents to his unofficial dad status - he capitalizes the ’d’ though    
  • Rosa is The Dagger or something equally as badass and no one tries to change it out of fear for their lives 
    • Once, Charles tried to change it to Ro-Ro; let’s just say that after the fact, if anyone was contemplating it, their mind was changed very quickly
    • The only person who’s ever successfully changed Rosa’s display name with minimal consequences was Gina when she set it to Scary Motorcycle Wife or something; Rosa just changed it back with a quiet laugh and a wink from Gina herself
  • Terry just puts himself in as Terry but after being reinstated, he changes it to The Ebony Falcon and everyone is more than okay with that    
  • Charles tries to leave his as Sidewinder after Jake dubs him so in “The Chopper” but someone (Rosa) keeps changing it to Mr. Grapes        
  • Scully and Hitchcock are just Scully and Hitchcock but they don’t know how group chats/phones work so they never contribute to the chat, content to read everyone else’s messages
    • Also because the one time they tried to converse there, it didn’t make any sense because of Scully’s “weird dead hands” 


  • For the most part, the chat is like 50% meme sharing and 50% making plans to go to Shaw’s, asking who wants coffee in the mornings, “this briefing is so boring”, “did you see Brian from HR grew a moustache”, etc.
  • Captain Holt instills a “no phones during morning briefings” rule after Jake sends everyone a stupid meme and the room bursts out in impromptu and unending laughter, although the rule was bound to happen one day anyways
  • “Detectives, I hope you’re aware of the fact that I, too, am in this group chat, and therefore can tell when you are texting and not paying attention to Sergeant Jeffords’ briefing.”
  • One day when it’s really quiet in the bullpen, Jake and Amy start playing I Spy in the chat. It starts off pretty innocent but escalates to the level of competitiveness that nearly gets them evicted from the group

kingjakerulez (1:07 PM): i spy something that is blue

Amy Santiago (1:07 PM): Literally everything in this building is blue, Jake.

kingjakerulez (1:08 PM): that’s a lie my tie is indigo

Amy Santiago (1:10 PM): …Indigo is a shade of blue.

kingjakerulez (1:10 PM): youre a shade of blue

Mr. Grapes (1:11 PM): Ah, young love

< Mr. Grapes has been removed from the chat >

  • “Oh my god, use your own damn chat for flirting” Gina yells from her desk 
  • Amy’s face goes bright red and Jake shoots Gina a Look™ and insists they’re not flirting, they’re just killing time
  • Rosa chimes in, “Then kill time somewhere else. My phone buzzed itself out of my pocket.”
  • Charles is the only one not opposed the I Spy messages and insists everyone leave them be
  • “What you are seeing is the beginning of something profound beautiful blossoming between two–”
  • “Charles, if you keep talking, Santiago might actually die – her face is already unnaturally red and I don’t feel like taking any of my detectives to the hospital today” Terry grumbles from his desk
  • Gina put her foot down on in-chat flirting when Jake sends Amy 17 consecutive messages of just kiss-face emojis and they were banned for 3 days
    • Also because one time she almost replies to Rosa with something incredibly suggestive in the chat on impulse but catches herself before she presses ‘enter’

thank u to @amysartiago for listening to me yell about these hcs and also for providing the “gina kicking jake and amy out for 3 days” thing, and i reiterate that if u have anything to add, pls do!!

Wake Up Calls

Ethan tried to move upon waking up, only to have a pair of strong arms pull him back down. At first the blue haired boy was confused, then he remembered he had fallen asleep with Tyler last night. For a few moments he just laid there in his embrace, but eventually began squirming again.

“Stoop.” Tyler groaned sleepily. Ethan stopped momentarily and huffed in frustration.

“Then let me gooo. I have to peee.” Ethan whined. A smile formed over Tyler’s face as he got a devious idea. He started tickling Ethan relentlessly.

“S-stop Tyler. AH I- I have to- pee.” He could barely talk in between his laughter.

“Oh, why didn’t you just say so?” With that Tyler let him go and fell back into the bed.

Signe was always the first one awake. She was lucky if she could get Sean up before 9. He always stayed up late with his fans, or doing other things for the channel. He was just so damn dedicated. Signe loved it though.

She sighed as she began playing with her boyfriend hair while he was fast asleep. Signe remembered when he first dyed it green, it was a shock. They both quickly grew to love it though. Groaning internally, realizing she wanted coffee, she tried to move. It was no use.

Changing tactics, Signe rolled her body out from underneath him, landing on her feet with a soft thud. She smiled to herself, proud. She began humming as she made her way into the kitchen to make coffee. Once it was done, she made a cup for Sean, just how he liked it and brought it in there to him. She sat it down on the nightstand, then moved to the end of the bed, clearing her throat.

“TOP OF THE MORNIN TO YA LADDIES. MY NAME IS JACKSEPTICEYE!” Signe screamed. Sean jerked awake, unintentionally launching himself out of the bed. He looked up at his girlfriend and gave her a goofy smile.

Normally Mark would wake up before Amy. He liked go for a run in the morning, then taking a shower, and then starting the day. But not this morning. When Amy woke up, he was still asleep. Knowing they had a busy day ahead of then she began trying to wake him.

“Markkk, wakey wakey.” Amy said in a hushed tone while brushing the hair out of his face. He didn’t even budge. She had to try harder. She pushed on his shoulder as hard as she could. In a louder voice saying, “It’s time to get up you big baby. You have things to dooo.”

“Mark finally stirred only to look at her a plop back down mumbling, "Call YouTube and tell them I quit.”

Amy rolled her eyes. He was so dramatic. “Oh but what would the world do with out you? O’ great Markiplier,” she began shaking him and said in a mocking tone, “THINK OF THE FANNNS MARK.”

“I am. They’ll understand. They love me. They told me I could sleep into today. Just ask them.”

Amy decided that this called for drastic measures. She left the bedroom and went to go find Ethan and Tyler, finding them on the kitchen. Amy told them what to do and then they all headed back upstairs. They quietly entered the bedroom and assumed their positions.

On Amy’s cue they jumped on the bed on top of Mark and started screaming at him to wake up. Needless to say, he did.

(I don’t actually know their ship name)

“Ooh Marzia,” Felix cooed. Marzia began giggling uncontrollably.

When her giggle fit was over, she decided to tell him, “Uh, Felix that isn’t me.” Which was followed by more cute little laughs. Felix groaned, opening his eyes.

“Edgar?!? Jävla, I thought I raised you better than that. BUY ME A DRINK FIRST.” Edgar was the one licking his mouth, not his girlfriend, Felix sighed in defeat.

“C'mon Pewds it’s time to get uppp.” Marzia said, nudging him.

“I don’t wanna.” Felix mumbled into his pillow.

“Fine then…I’ll go get Maya and tell her to attack you too.”

“Oohhhh nooo. Not Maya.” Felix said mockingly, but he still got up. He squinted his eyes and looked at Marzia, “You’re lucky you’re cute.” He said then kissed her forehead.

The endd

Tomorrow morning I’ll post crankiplier/jelix/apocalyptoplier/ and some other ones lol

anonymous asked:

001: jake and Amy! :)

  • When I started shipping it if I did: in season 1, because when I first started watching Brooklyn Nine-Nine, I would go to IMDb and specifically watch the episodes that might have something w/ them in it before I’d watch the rest. I think I started seriously shipping it after “The Bet”
  • My thoughts: they are 110/100 perfect need more content
  • What makes me happy about them: they just vibe so well with each other. they have issues sometimes but they talk about them and solve them. they recognize the little things about each other that they cannot find in themselves (like Amy’s binders and Jake re: Die Hard) but they express interest in those subjects anyway because they love the person who loves those things so why ridicule them for it? nah, go along with it because seeing the other happy makes themselves feel so happy. the math is so easy?? and they do it constantly like dang. hit me with dat ish constantly please
  • What makes me sad about them: that sometimes Jake feels a little insecure :(
  • Things done in fanfic that annoys me: whenever people write Amy as some sort of killjoy and Jake as a manchild
  • Things I look for in fanfic: AUs and Jake meeting Amy’s family. I’m a huge sucker for those
  • Who I’d be comfortable them ending up with, if not each other: look man,
  • My happily ever after for them: they get married and have kids and Amy becomes Captain and Jake is the immensely proud husband who has a little bit more time to spend with the kids but knows them well enough to see whenever they need to be with their mother- and they communicate well enough that he can pass this on to Amy, who immediately figures out how to go about that because work is important to her but family even more so
  • Who is the big spoon/little spoon: they both like to be the little spoon so they switch it around frequently but Amy is Good and she knows how much it means to him (and thinks to herself that maybe he needs it just a little bit more than she does) so she often offers to be the big spoon before he even needs to say anything to her. she can read the response in his face, meaning that it completely lights up knowing that he can spend the night lying in the arms of the person he loves most
  • What is their favorite non-sexual activity: spooning
Amy Schumer 'Sadly' Drops Out of 'Barbie' Movie Due to Scheduling Conflicts

Looks like we won’t be seeing Amy Schumer play Barbie on the big screen after all.

The 35-year-old actress has dropped out of the Sony live-action comedy, she revealed in a statement to ET on Thursday.

WATCH: Amy Schumer Is ‘Too Blessed to Be Stressed’ About Looking Like a Lingerie Model

“Sadly, I’m no longer able to commit to Barbie due to scheduling conflicts,” the statement read. “The film has so much promise, and Sony and Mattel have been great partners. I’m bummed, but look forward to seeing Barbie on the big screen.”

Production for the movie, which is based on Mattel’s iconic doll, was supposed to start in June, with a summer 2018 release.

When Schumer was originally cast for the role, in which she would be playing a Barbie who gets kicked out of Barbieland for not being “perfect enough,” she received some major backlash from haters on social media. Many criticized Schumer for not having Barbie’s slim figure, which was ironic when taking the movie’s plot into consideration.

RELATED: Amy Schumer Says She Feels 'Sexy’ Despite Being Labeled 'Very Fat’ by Hollywood’s Beauty Standards

Naturally, the comedian responded on Instagram, unashamedly posting a pic of herself in a swimsuit.

“Is it fat shaming if you know you’re not fat and have zero shame in your game?” she captioned it. “I don’t think so. I am strong and proud of how I live my life and say what I mean and fight for what I believe in and I have a blast doing it with the people I love. Where’s the shame? It’s not there. It’s an illusion.”

“When I look in the mirror, I know who I am,” she continued. “I’m a great friend, sister, daughter and girlfriend. I’m a badass comic headlining arenas all over the world and making TV and movies and writing books where I lay it all out there and I’m fearless like you can be. Thanks to everyone for the kind words and support and again my deepest sympathy goes out to the trolls who are in more pain than we will ever understand. I want to thank them for making it so evident that I am a great choice [to play Barbie].”

Hear more in the video below.

WATCH: Amy Schumer on Why Body-Shamers Make Her the Perfect Choice for Barbie

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No but can you imagine Gina/Rosa (dianetti??) as a couple though:

Power couple af, no one outside of work ever saying anything about them for the sake of their lives

Gina wanting to ride with Rosa on her bike to work one morning so she can have a ‘zazzle entrance’

Gina finding out about Rosa’s ballet skills and being v impressed with her girlfriend

They can be together without it totally interfering with their work (tho that was no problem for Gina anyway)

Gina describing them to Terry as 'girl holding girl hand emoji’, making Rosa groan, but secretly smile when no one’s looking

Before they told the precinct, Jake was the first one to figure out their relationship just bc of how many times Rosa smirks/smiles at Gina, and the lack of time Gina’s on her phone whenever Rosa’s around

Rosa saving up money so as she can buy Gina Rihanna tickets for her birthday

Gina throwing (most probably) important work-turned-paper-aeroplanes at Rosa’s desk, the words ’# bored’ and ’#u look gr8 gurl’ scribbled onto it

Rosa being super proud of Gina going to college as well as work, and actually goes to Amy to get advice (shudders) as to how she can help Gina’s education further

Rosa being a little nervous about telling Holt of them, but Gina just shrugs her shoulders and tells Holt 'we’re two delicious, sensuous kwazy cupcake matches sir, the next great miracle since Beyoncé herself’ and he 'acknowledges their feelings’ before dismissing them happily


we are oceans (being controlled by the pull of another).

“You could always use the spare key you gave me in case of emergencies,” Karma rolls her eyes and reaches into her own bag,” or, as I’ve come to call them, freaking Friday nights when you forget your keys at the art club.”

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What Happens in Vegas… Part III

Read Part I here and Part II here.

“So,” Owen says once they’re back in the car, “we are definitely married.”

Claire sighs. “We are definitely married.”

Neither one of them says anything for a few moments, but soon they’re laughing uncontrollably again. Claire shakes her head. “We’ve really got to get to this Mon Bel Ami place and find out how to get out of this. I mean, Vegas weddings can’t be as real as real weddings, right? Surely no one let us sign any court documents or anything when we were clearly drunk and it was three in the morning.”

“Well,” Owen says, pulling out of the parking lot, “I guess we’re about to find out.”

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Teach Me (How To Love) ((Untitled Karmy Teacher Project))

It seems pretty cliche up to this point, but I’m really hoping to bring a fresh spin and twist onto this. And, I forgot to italicise the last part, because Karma kissing her was supposed to be a part of Amy’s dream. Sorry. Spoiler alert. Onto this terribly written fic! :)

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