and how much it means

So… My “new” download folder, that I have been working on for a week, more or less, is already at 6,79G; with 95% of Buy and Build and around 30% of bodyshop. Genetics and Makeup are the two categories I didn’t download for yet, and clothing for some age groups. Think is safe to say that it will be almost 10G when finished…

Originally posted by passthepasecar

HOLY COW! 200 FOLLOWERS!

You have no idea how much this means to me. So ya know what we gotta do right? Yup, you guessed right!

A THANKYOU - GIVE AWAY THE SIZE OF A PRIMAL!

Rules!
- Like & Reblog this post. (You don’t gotta be following me)
- Must be an active player of FF14. 

Thats it simple rules.  But wait theres more! What are the prizes for this give away?!

FIRST PLACE WINNER!

- An item off the mog station of 15 USD or less. (You choose the item)
- A half body sketch of your character.

SECOND PLACE WINNER!

- An item off the mog station of 10 USD or less. (You choose the item)
- A bust sketch of your character. 

THIRD PLACE WINNER!

- A fully colored chibi of your character.

Once winners have been drawn, I’ll contact you via tumblr, to hand off your prizes.

Dead line is the 12th of April 4/12/2017

Good luck everyone! ~ <3

Arrow 5X17: Three Little Words

“I liked it” these words are a game changer. Oliver finally admits what some of us had known for a while: he enjoyed killing as The Arrow, The Vigilante or Kapiushon. A rose is a rose is a rose and no matter the name he chooses, Oliver Queen is indeed a serial killer with a taste for blood. 

The fact he doesn’t kill innocents for the thrill of it doesn’t change the fact he enjoys killing the bad guys. Remember Dexter? Yeah he liked to torture his victims too before getting rid of them. And they were all bad guys…

This understanding colors differently some of Oliver’s key scenes with Felicity. Remember at the beginning of season 2 when she explains how she has kept the hood because she knows how much it means to him. Wow! Now the sad smile on Oliver’s face speaks volume of the horror committed while wearing it. 

It also explains why Oliver could only be with Felicity in times of peace. When he thought Starling City was safe and he invited her for a date. Or when he thought he could live the life of the killer he was far behind and drove with her into the sunset. 

It also justifies why he turned so vanilla while he was in Ivy Town, it was a time of cleansing for him and he basically distanced himself as much as he could from his life of crime. Felicity could not understand that. Neither did John.

Oliver tried to explain back at the beginning of season 2. “the body count” he leaves behind is very real to him and unescapable  But for the love of his friends, family and  city, he became the hood again and tried a different way.   

The fact that he wanted to kill and liked it is still an epiphany for Oliver because he refused to look too closely at the monster the island had helped create. Of course, this revelation will change everything and since he has believed for a long time he tainted everything he touched, he will put even more distance between himself and Felicity, as well as Diggle.

When Oliver comes back to the lair, he can barely sustain Felicity’s look of horror to what has been done to him. He has to close his eyes. He sure doesn’t feel worthy of anyone’s worry much less love.

But this ep is great news for all the Olicity fans because it shows Oliver finally being honest with himself and if he can do that, he can start to trust completely another human being. I have great hopes for 5x20 aptly named Underneath. This should be the ep where Oliver and Felicity finally share some truths and even if the sex is a flashback. It’s one step toward a reunion. Even if Oliver has some serious healing to do. But to do so you need to start by admitting what the problem is and Oliver thanks to Chase did just that. So, in shrink terms, Oliver just had a breakthrough. It was painful but necessary.

Soon it will be Felicity’s turn because she is as addicted to hacking as he is to killing and she needs to learn to forgive as mush as Oliver needs to trust. So after being unhappy with the show lately (I don’t write if I don’t have anything positive to say), I feel hopeful again. 

Drew’s Great Big Beauty and the Beast Review

SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS

THERE IS NO GOING BACK

THIS IS A SPOILER-FILLED REVIEW

IT IS ALSO VERY LONG

AND THERE ARE LOTS OF SPOILERS

SO PLEASE BE AWARE

THAT THERE ARE SPOILERS HERE

BEFORE YOU START READING

Let me start off by mentioning how much this movie means to me. I’ve kind of made my niche on the internet by dreamcasting Disney movies as if they were live action. I’ve made a ridiculous number of edits, I mean I’ve spent hours, days, probably weeks on this stuff at this point, and many of these edits have been focused on Beauty and the Beast. Live action versions of Disney movies are like… my Thing. And, to be totally honest, this really is only the second faithful adaptation. Alice in Wonderland was a total reworking of the Alice story, not really a cartoon-to-live-action like this. Maleficent completely retold the story from a different angle by making one Disney’s most vicious villains not only sympathetic but good. Cinderella is so close (and so good, I might add) but visually it’s vastly different from its animated counterpart, especially when it comes to Lady Tremaine and the Fairy Godmother, and it’s not a musical. The Jungle Book is the closest we’ve seen to a real and true “live action remake” as opposed to a live action reinterpretation. But here we are. Disney did it. They took one of their most beloved animated classics and straight-up made it into a live action movie without cutting any songs or really very much at all…

And oh boy, did they knock it out of the park.

I love this movie. This is what I’ve been waiting for.

I love Emma Watson as Belle. I think she’s a wonderful choice, I completely buy into her as Belle. She’s beautiful and intelligent and spunky. Her singing is fine. She’s not Kristin Chenoweth or Sutton Foster, but Belle doesn’t need to be. She’s also not Meryl Streep or Daniel Day-Lewis, you know, Emma doesn’t go through a massive transformation and disappear into the role, but she doesn’t need to because she’s already so much like Belle. Still, I don’t find myself watching it thinking about Emma playing the role, I think of her as Belle, which is the goal of acting really. I love that this Belle is so active. I love that she is continuously trying to find a way to escape from the castle. The addition of the laundry machine and teaching the young girl how to read is so good because it actually shows us Belle’s intelligence. In the animated movie, we know Belle’s smart because we’re told Belle’s smart. She reads books and, sure, she acts rationally and she certainly shows the poise of an intelligent person, but this new scene gives us an active example of her intelligence and creativity while also demonstrating the oppressive and small-minded nature of the townspeople. Emma’s Belle is charming and smart and lovely, and I think she captures the essence of Belle perfectly.

All that being said, our two male leads really steal the show for me. I’ve seen the movie twice now and each time, one of the leading gentleman really jumped out. The first time I watched, Luke Evans felt like the true shining star of the film. His Gaston reminds me of Jason Isaacs as both Captain Hook and Lucius Malfoy. He isn’t just vain… this guy is a legitimate narcissist, it seems like his mind has truly been twisted by the war. This Gaston is even more evil than the one we left behind in the world of animation. Gaston has always been terrifying because of his charisma. The way he’s able to charm the people of the village is chilling and this time around we see even more of that trait, paired with a darker and more violent streak particularly illustrated by Gaston tying up Maurice and leaving him for the wolves. Plus, both times I saw the movie the audience gasped in horror when Gaston stomped on Belle’s lettuces.

The second time I saw the film, I was specifically watching for Dan Stevens’s performance as the Beast and man, this is good stuff. The Prince at the beginning is such a drama queen. He’s so over-the-top with his costuming, wig, even his gestures are extremely theatrical. The make up at the beginning is particularly brilliant, burying the Prince’s face in streaks of blue and silver so he still feels like an obscure figure that we don’t quite see. When Belle first meets the Beast, this is all still evident. The way he hides in the shadows, even his lines of dialogue, it’s all very dramatic. And then as the movie progresses, you can see this flair for melodrama fade away as he becomes a more grounded person. He becomes gentler, kinder, and his intelligence, which has always been there, comes forward. By the time we see the Prince again at the end, you can tell that this is the same man but he has been changed. The animated film’s human Prince always felt disconnected from the Beast for me. Sure, they made the eyes the same, but it was hard to see much else because we just see so little of him, so he always felt rather vanilla. That’s not the case here. When the Prince transforms back to a human at the end, this feels like the same character we have watched throughout the film. I’m sure this is aided by the incredible motion capture and CGI work, because the Beast is animated superbly, but Dan’s performance is just stellar.

The objects are perfect. There’s only one shot that I think feels odd (when Belle is carrying Lumiere with Cogsworth walking in front as they lead her to her room) but other than that one moment, I never second guess them as objects. They feel and act real. Lumiere’s movements in particular are incredible, right down to his close up at the start of “Be Our Guest.” I was worried about Plumette before seeing the movie because the bird design is so unusual, but it makes sense since they needed her to be able to fly to get around, and doesn’t feel out of place at all in the movie. Mrs. Potts and Chip are also beautifully animated, they always feel like real and solid objects with weight to them. Their relationship is wonderful, so loving and caring. Chip’s line, “OK. I’m older” is one of my favorite little moments of the whole thing. Cadenza is a wonderful addition to our cast of characters and I did not expect his relationship with Garderobe, but they were an excellent surprise. And Frou Frou! I love that Frou Fou is Garderobe’s and that he becomes Cadenza’s bench and is therefore the link between the two throughout their years in the curse. They’re just so sweet.

Maurice has been an under-reported character in all of this, and that’s a shame because Kevin Klein knocks this role out of the park. He is absolutely wonderful as Maurice. He is fatherly and kind but he has also clearly made mistakes as a parent and that is kind of embraced and understood in the storytelling. He is sincere at all times in a role that is pretty exaggerated in the animated film. If Maurice’s arrival in the tavern had been played exactly like the original, it would have felt campy, but Kevin Klein’s earnestness grounds the moment in reality. Not to mention his quips about snow in June and “apparently that’s what happens around here when you pick a flower” are delivered brilliantly.

Let’s talk Lefou. I don’t like this Lefou, and here’s why. Every other character in this film feels developed in a natural way. It feels like we are learning more information about these characters that has always existed, we just didn’t fit it in the first time around. Lefou, on the other, doesn’t feel like a character who has been developed but a character who has been rewritten. They clearly got the seed of an idea to make him gay but felt squeamish about making him evil and gay (and rightfully so), so they wrote this redemption arc that feels forced and really doesn’t actually go anywhere… Lefou’s turn during the battle with the castle objects doesn’t actually do anything, so the whole thing feels arbitrary. After seeing the film the second time, my friend and I spent probably an hour and a half just talking about Lefou and came up with a brilliant solution to this whole mess of a character… more on that in a moment…

Incorporating the Enchantress into the story is very compelling. I think it’s very obvious who Agatha is throughout the movie, but it gives the sense that she wants the spell to be broken, she wants the Beast to learn his lesson, which is very interesting. Having her arrive after the spell has completed and actively reverse it is a riveting choice, and I actually felt like we were missing a moment with her where she realizes that she made a mistake. When she was watching the separated loved ones reunite, it seemed like there was a seed of remorse that was not addressed.

The character development is very well done across the board, but I think something this movie did that was important and contributes to its success is the development of the spell itself. I think this was one of the most brilliant moves the film made. The eternal winter around the castle explains the sudden weather changes in such a short period of time while still using the seasons as an emotional storytelling technique like the animated film. The wolves are also clearly part of the curse here – I would have actually liked to have seen them included in the finale sequence, either transformed into humans like the objects, or else disappearing like mist with the rest of the eternal winter. Having the castle crumble every time a petal falls from the rose is so smart as well; it explains why the objects know every time a petal fall while also representing their and the Beast’s disintegrating humanity. But the best part of the curse’s development was definitely the memory loss. Adding the simple line to the opening narration about removing the people of the castle from the minds of the people who loved them was absolutely inspired. This one quick line explained a huge loophole that the animated film left regarding the presence of a massive castle in the woods and a royal family that apparently the entirely world did not know about. But even better than that, it created some wonderfully emotional reunions at the end. My friend beside me gasped so loudly when our favorite teapot exclaimed, “Mr. Potts!” and the moment with Henri Cogsworth and his wife(?) was so hilarious and, in my opinion, subtly hinted at our second LGBT character in this universe. Which brings me to the Lefou thing.

Here’s what my friend and I came up with: in the opening sequence, we see Cogsworth lurking in the shadows telling the Prince that “it’s time,” we see Lumiere handing the Prince a candelabra, we see Mrs. Potts chasing after Chip… in the midst of all this, we could also show a masked jester entertaining a few people at the ball. When the Enchantress arrives, a lot of people run out – presumably that’s where Mr. Potts and Mrs. Cogsworth escape and why they’re not included in the spell – and the jester leaves with them as well. At the end, the Pottses are reunited, the Cogsworths are reunited, and then Lefou recognizes his old beau, Chapeau the violinist/coat rack, and joins the finale back in his jester outfit. It makes total sense for Lefou to be “the fool” of course and explains why he falls into the abusive friendship he has with Gaston, since it would parallel the relationship he probably would have had as a jester for the similarly self-centered Prince. This adds two quick two-second shots to the opening scene, one of the masked Lefou juggling or something and one of him fleeing when the Enchantress shows up, and about twenty seconds at the end for the reunion and revelation and, in my opinion, is so much less problematic than writing our first ever LGBT Disney character as an evil sidekick with a forced redemption arc – this way, he had his memory erased, just like everyone else. Just our little idea but I think it could have blended into this world quite smoothly. Alas, here we are.

Moving on! The finale is absolutely gorgeous. The whole ending sequence is my favorite thing about the whole film. The fight scene is fantastic and then from there to the end, everything is so marvelous. We know the objects are going to be okay in the end, but seeing them all finally lose the battle they’ve been fighting and become motionless household objects is… emotional! Then the Prince’s transformation is brilliant, giving the perfect nods to the original film, and each character’s subsequent change back to their human state is perfect (Cadenza’s teeth!), especially when Mrs. Potts and Chip go sliding down the steps. And then when she says, “You smell so good,” oh my gosh. Whoever contributed that line is a genius. I go all warm and fuzzy just thinking about it. Then we have the wonderful and funny reunions and then the final dance sequence, where Emma is beautiful and Dan is looking good in bright sky blue and rococo curls in his hair. Audra McDonald sings flawlessly and we have that beautiful moment between Mrs. Potts and Maurice that made my little shipper heart do a backflip, even if there is a Mr. Potts now. I’m still not sure if I’m on board with the growl, but I adore the line about the beard – apparently it was written for the original film and Paige O'Hara even recorded it! But it interrupted that finale sequence so they never used it. I think it works perfectly here, it’s so cute.

The first time watching, I felt the pacing was so odd in the film, with some abrupt transitions that didn’t quite work. I felt that less so the second time, maybe just because I was expecting it, and sometimes I actually liked the sudden change. I also don’t fully understand the shuffling of scenes at the beginning. The animated film goes (1) “Belle,” (2) Belle and Maurice at home, (3) Maurice leaves for the fair, (4) Maurice arrives in the castle, (5) Gaston proposes, (6) “Belle (Reprise),” (7) Philippe comes back and tells Belle to the castle. The movie rearrange this so almost all of the village scenes happen together, reordering that sequence as 1, 2, 3, 5, 6, 4, 7. Because of this we end up going from Maurice’s whole scene in the castle, back to the village for about thirty seconds with Philippe and Belle, then right back to the castle again. This made the whole sequence of events feel rushed even though each moment was given about the same amount of time, or more, as the original film. Additionally, I felt some of the filming choices from a cinematography point of view were weird. There were several times that we were zoomed in on a character, usually Belle or Gaston in the village, and it felt like the shot was kept tight to hide something but then there wasn’t anything to hide… it’s a hard thing to articulate, but I definitely noticed it through both viewings.

The design of this movie is amazing. Breathtaking. Thousands of beautiful costumes and such detail – human Cogsworth’s buttons have the Roman numeral numbers on them! Not to mention the object designs. Lumiere’s candlestick form is clearly inspired by the Broadway production, which was an absolutely brilliant choice. Garderobe’s wardrobe form is A THEATRE, it has box seats and a stage with curtains as her mouth piece! Even the villagers are designed with such care, memorable and reminiscent of the original in many places – the man with the scissors and the guy with the mustache, the Baker is very similar to his animated design… I would have liked to have seen blonde silly girls to contrast them more distinctly with Belle, but they are what they are. The set design, from the village to the absolutely incredible castle, it’s all so, so good. I love the little flowers painted on the doorway to Maurice’s cottage and I loved the magnificent, baroque-meets-gothic design of an extremely unique castle. I know people are up in arms about the yellow dress, I know it’s not perfect, but it doesn’t stick out so horribly in the movie and it moves so beautifully in the ballroom scene. And honestly, I’ve never cared about the yellow dress, the blue dress is the one I’ve always loved and I just think the live action interpretation is glorious. It does not feel like a costume, it feels worn-in, it feels natural, like it’s just Belle’s favorite dress, and I just love it so much.

Speaking of detail, they named the village. And they named it Villeneuve. As in Gabrielle-Suzanne Barbot de Villeneuve, the original author of the fairy tale. Come on. That’s fantastic.

Let’s see, some of my other favorite moments that jumped out at me that I wanted to mention… the whole “Gaston” scene in the tavern is awesome, maybe my favorite scene besides the finale sequence. I love that Lefou is going around paying everyone off to boost Gaston’s ego, I love the dance, I love the use of Tom, Dick, and Stanley as cronies throughout the entire movie, I love lifting the young woman and then lifting Lefou, the whole song is fun and funny and exciting and the new lyrics are just amazing - “Then I shoot from behind!” “Is that fair?” “I don’t care!” …That’s exactly what’s going to happen in the final battle. Ugh. So good.

The moment in “Something There” where the Beast moves to Belle’s end of the table, she puts down her spoon, and they both sip their soup out of the bowl… that hit me in a way the animated movie never has before. It’s amazing symbolism. He can’t eat with the spoon, she’s not going to lap it up like an animal, so they find a way they can both eat the same way. They’re meeting each other halfway. That’s some good stuff right there.

OH, and I can’t believe I haven’t mentioned “Be Our Guest!” Come on. They went hard with that. They put on a full Broadway production on the table in front of Belle! The way it just kept growing bigger and bigger was delightful. Plus I love that the grey stuff is designed after Be Our Guest Restaurant’s grey stuff, complete with the silver and grey chocolate caviar beads.

Replacing the animated film’s bookstore, which never really made sense in a town of people who think reading makes someone weird, with a small shelf holding a dozen old and worn books that Belle has read over and over is just such a wonderful touch. I love that Belle’s favorite play is Romeo and Juliet because she’s barely read anything else and I love that the Beast’s reaction is to roll his eyes at her selection. I would have liked to have seen the giving of the library be a little more deliberate and a little less off the cuff, and I definitely missed the “promises you don’t intend to keep” line, but I’m so satisfied with the choice to make the Beast a reader. Having “a very expensive education” totally makes sense, and what else would he have had to do with all that time? They each develop the other’s literary taste! What’s better in a relationship than that?

The new songs are lovely as well. “How Can A Moment Last Forever?” is so much better than “No Matter What,” I wish it could logically fit into the musical instead because it’s really, really good. “Days in the Sun” is so sweet, it’s nice to have those moments with the young prince and each of the objects and even Belle, and honestly I can’t stand “Human Again” so I’m good with this one, plus the lyrical nod to “A Change in Me” is nice. But “Evermore” is clearly stealing the show as far as the new songs are concerned. What a great song. I still think they could have done a little tweaking to the lyrics in order to still use “If I Can’t Love Her” but if we’re going to write a new song for the Beast, I’ll take this one. (But can we not digitally lower Dan Stevens’s voice next time? It sounds like a computer singing at some points.) I also loved all of the new/old lyrics that were incorporated into the songs we were familiar with. They felt fresh without being forced. The new “Gaston” lyrics are definitely my favorite, but the new lyrics that Mrs. Potts sings in the finale are touching. Plus, using the Broadway songs as underscoring was really nice, especially “Home.”

I’m just so delighted with this movie. Everything from the original is there but now there’s more. The stove is there. The coat rack is there. The footstool is there. They just paid so much attention to detail and did this movie the justice it deserved. I’m already prepared to call this my favorite movie. Easily. By miles. It’s beautiful and just absolutely everything I was hoping it would be.

tw suicide/ trans stuff

guys I literally cannot think about anything but transition stuff now I’m so hype and distracted I just want the days to go by super fast until I can get hold of the prescription but I also feel like I’m bothering everyone when I talk about it because I’m just so excited and emotional. It’s like I can’t genuinely express how much this means to me… I feel like it’s going to be the start of a better life for me and there’s going to be so much positivity along the way. I really just want to embrace and enjoy the whole process. I’ve had such damn awful times the past few years. My lowest point was after my suicide attempt and being put in the female ward at the hospital and being chided by the nurses for doing such a thing. All night I was still wishing the overdose would end my pain and I wouldn’t have to live as a trans person with bpd. But now I’m surrounded by supportive partners, friends and family with my first day of t on the near horizon and I doubted I would even make it here?? I’ve struggled with so much depression and anxiety and suicidal thoughts and bpd episodes throughout the years that it was difficult for me to even see a future for myself where anything was different. But now living full time as a guy with great people in my life makes such a huge difference and it’s only going to get better. I’m going to be me??? I’m going to finally look like who I actually am?? I can’t wait for the future and damn I’m so happy I’m at a point in my life where I can say that truthfully and honestly.

legion0047  asked:

Ages ago you mentioned how tuna must be specially prepared for cats to be safe to consume. why is that?

The basic answer is that being a large predatory fish, tuna collects more heavy metals in its tissue than most other fish we’d feed our cats (since they get the accumulation of all the accumulation in each fish they eat). It’s not a huge problem for people because we’re pretty large, but cats are smaller and can be pretty sensitive to it. I’ve heard claims that there’s lower-mercury cat-specific tuna out there but I’ve never run into it myself. I’m not sure how much I believe that means you need to avoid all tuna for cats - it seems like it would make more sense to just not feed them very much and do it infrequently - but I’ll let @veterinaryrambles or @drferox potentially weigh in on the health aspects of that. 

What’s interesting is that in googling this, I found out apparently that cats can get addicted to tuna because it has such a strong flavor and smell? It’s called being a ‘tuna junkie’. 

anonymous asked:

what's happened with seungkwan?

It’s explained well right over here; the entire situation just doesn’t make sense to me. The response itself could be interpreted negatively but, that’s honestly such a stretch of a route to take. It’s not something that deserved the attention it got and the fact that it could affect Seungkwan and Seventeen negatively is annoying. I don’t want to invalidate anyone’s feelings but it’s something that could be reasoned out of easily.

I’m just gonna say, that being a long time Zelda fan (been playing them since I was only 5 years old), Breath of the Wild just stole my heart. I mean, I’m not even done with the entire plot and it’s become my favorite Zelda game - something I didn’t think would ever happen. The way I see it, it’s not just a game, it’s an experience. It does such a amazing job immersing you into the world, using the incredible soundtrack and paying attention to every last little detail, and I absolutely love it. Six years of waiting was most definitely worth it, and I’m just head over heels for it. 

skatingnerd101  asked:

how much does yuri on ice mean to you

That’s a little a vague? I’ll try to answer as best as I can though.

In all honesty? It means more to me than it reasonably should. I’d been having a rough time for the past 3-4 months (nasty break up, family death, etc.) and I wound up stumbling onto YOI. As we all know, YOI lacks villains, angst, and other plot devices that are found so often in shows. With all the stress I was under, it very quickly became my happy place. My IRL friends could tell you about how excited I would get every Tuesday because a new episode would be coming out the next day. Then on Thursday I would take them through a slideshow of screenshots I took of the episode (I wish I was joking, but god I live for this show). It gave me a space where I didn’t feel suffocated by the pressures of my own life or the pressures of the character’s life. So I’d say that it means quite a lot to me.

anonymous asked:

Hi :) I'm new to the fandom so forgive me if I'm misinformed. About home: the only really serious relationship he was supposed to be in up to the song was Eleanor. To me, home sounds like being in your first relationship not knowing about love and meeting the right person and just click. But I think there was some time between hannah and eleanor so it must either be about Harry or fictional. About the pronouns: i personally would have done the same regardless of the meaning, it just fits better.

The guess is that the beginning is indeed about Hanna because they really dated, and then he met Harry (when they were still dating), and it kids of hit him that Harry was the right person and that’s why he used a pronoun change. It might look better, but they always went a mile further to make all the songs straight™ (like They Don’t Know About Us, where they add a girl to make it look less suspicious). Like my anon said, they could have used girl or even she, it’d still send the message that he found another girl and she was the one, but he didn’t. He put your because it was the only pronoun he could use without giving it all aways (he could’ve used his). It’s important because even if it looks better and everyone would write like that, they could’ve changed that since it’s something they do with 1D songs, but he didn’t. He changed pronoun and the message was very clear 

I hate how much empathy I have. I don’t mean in a cutsey “lol I cry over everything!” no, I mean it pains me deeply to see misfortune brought upon others and I get hung up on feelings of guilt because I feel helpless being unable to fix everyone’s adversities. 

important  ooc  moment

                    ok   so         something  huge  happened  for  me  today.   this  is  a  massive  ooc  thing  but  it  means  so  much  to  me.   idk  how  much  i’ll  be  on  here  over  the  next  week  or  so  bc  this  will  be  a  huge  change  for  me  and  it  took  a  lot  of  courage  to  do.   basically  i  went  to  my  first  assessment  session  in  like  four  years.   i’ve  been  in  and  out  and  all  around  the  mental  health  system  my  whole  life  and  on  every  diet,   every  medication  and  had  such  a  wide   variety   of  diagnoses  and  discussions  it’s  ridiculous.   bc  my  mother,   essentially,   did  not  want  to  face  the  truth.   and  that  was  that  she  was  a  child  on  the  autistic  spectrum.   and  i  grew  up   knowing   this.   and  despising  it  about  myself  and  it  manifested  into  various  obsessions  and  also  self - loathing.   i’ve  had  issues  with  self  harm  and  eating  disorders,   fuelled  in  part  by  my  obsession  with  numbers.   i  have  attempted  suicide  three  times  since  i  was  thirteen.   when  i  was  thirteen,   a  neurologist  and  a  psychologist  told  me  and  my  family  that  i  have  a  combination  of  aspergers,   synaesthesia  and  attachment  disorder.   due  to  ptsd  and  various  pressures,   at  times  i  had  experienced  psychosis  and  paranoia  as  well  as  depression  and  suicide  ideation.   to  me,   this  was  the  biggest  relief  of  my  life.   the  best  possible  bad  news.   bc  i  understood  what  my  mum  did  not ;   that  ignoring  the  truth  won’t  make  me  normal.   and  who  wants  to  be   NORMAL   anyway ?   who  defines  that ??   i  can  play  13  instruments.   i  can  speak  10  languages.   i  know  the  first  300  numbers  in  the  fibonacci  sequence,   pi  to  1500  places  and  everything  i  can  possibly  find  about  others  special  interests  i  have  acquired  such  as  classical  greece,   space  and  astrophysics,   serial  killers,   witchcraft,   hieroglyphics  and  snakes.   but  my  mum  wouldn’t  proceed  with  a  diagnosis,   pulled  me  out  of  treatment  and  isolated  me  by  furthering  my  academic  career  at  home.   

              last  week  i  went  to  see  a  doctor  for  the  first  time  in  a  long  time  and  today  i  had  my  first  assessment.   i  have  a  second  assessment  tomorrow.   the  man  i  saw  said  to  me     you  have  a  brilliant  mind,   if  a  little  different  from  others  expect.   you  can’t  be   exceptional   without  being  different     and  that’s  just  v  important  to  me.   bc  i  don’t  have  to  be  the  same  to  be  equally  important  and  valued.   and  im  finally  going  to  get  my  diagnosis  and  treatment  for  my  autism.   sorry  this  is  so  long  and  probably  doesnt  seem  like  a  big  deal  to  other  ppl  but  it’s  really  symbolic  for  me  to  feel  recognised  and  not  silenced  or  told  my  issues  don’t   MATTER   or  don’t  exist  and  idk  and  to  break  free  from  a  childhood  of  neglect  and  abuse  in  other  areas  too  and  idk.   thank  u  if  u  read  this  idk.

3

@vallanoble  @avistella   @valancystirling48 

Guys.

Thank you so much, oh my gosh. You nearly made me choke up in class haha. You don’t know how much this means to me for you to tell me this.

I hate that I’m so flimsy on my choices, but at least for now this has delayed or put a stop to me deleting my content. I really don’t deserve these kind words, so thank you for supporting me whether I wanted to give this up or not. 

Honestly, I wish you the best in anything to do, and thank you thank you thank you for the support. I tend to be an overly sensitive person and though I try really hard to make friends on this site, I guess I’m just compensating for what I don’t really have in a way…so this means something

Anyway again, thank you! You’ve given this girl some shots of motivation.

- ❤︎ Devina

anonymous asked:

Again and again you write fan fictions that are award winning novel worth. You're a fantastic writer and yet you use your talents to entertain and share with other fans. That's phenomenal and I really appreciate you and your work. Writers don't get enough recognition and you really deserve more. Thank you for all your talent and skill. I love you ❤️

Originally posted by scampthecorgi

Omg thank you so much <3 <3 <3 You are fantastic. Thank you for taking the time to write this and lmk how much you like my writing. It means the world to me. 

scorpiogustavomodreblog  asked:

What you think of Abra/Kadabra? :3

Natticus: Hmmm, those are pokemon mons, right? I remember Fandramon found one at home here while playing Pokemon Go! I don’t know too much about them though, let me see….

…Oh. Kinda reminds me of Phascomon, they sleep a lot too! It’s neat that they have the ability to warp away, but I guess that means they don’t fight much… wonder how they evolve then?

Oh wait. This is how! *taps*

Wow that was quick, just like digivolving~ Let’s see what the pokemon analyzer says about this one…

Sounds kinda scary D: Can alpha waves give headaches to humans and digimon? I don’t really know ^^; Now it has whiskers! I think Zudomon’s are fluffier :b It’s also got a big tail, sorta reminds me of Relemon… actually Relemon kind of has Abra’s face too X3 A spoon is a weird weapon to use, but I guess if you’ve got super strong psychic power anything can be a weapon if you mind-throw it hard enough oᆺo;

gaybybirth  asked:

hey, hey. Just breath. I swear everything is going to be okay. Just take some deep breaths and smile. I know you may not be able to smile but I want you to do it. I promise it'll help you feel better. It's that one piece of information I took with me from my psych class. You're incredibly strong and fucking awesome as hell, I don't want you to forget that. I want you to be happy so you know how much you mean to all of us, how you help so many people feel better. Don't give up, don't surrender.

im sitting just crying on my bed completely lost

So something just occurred to me. Like 1920’s Potterverse America has this whole “Wizards can’t associate with muggles” law, right? But like, they’ve got to have muggleborns too, right? That means their family has to know about it right? Unless they go around kidnapping eleven year old wizards and obliviating their parents or something. Or they’ve sworn these kids to absolute secrecy and just, like, tell their parents they’re going to a fancy-shmancy prep school or something instead of Hogwarts lite. But like, what about parents who want to meet the teachers and look at the school and go to PTA meetings and stuff. Do they have a whole fake school and teacher set up to appease those parents? And do they really trust the secrecy of their community into the hands of eleven year olds? Think of the socialization that would have to occur if that were the case, how much fear they would have to instill in these children. And I mean, if wizards are only ever marrying other wizards, the magical population in America must be proportionally much smaller than it is in Britain or elsewhere, otherwise you’ve got a lot of cousin-marrying-cousin sort of deals, like with the Purebloods back in Britain, and their not expanding their population at all, like, if you only have a set population size from which to draw from, that population size is going to stagnate or decline, isn’t that the problem wizards in Britain had?

itsqueenieworld  asked:

here's a positive ask! A reminder how great you are as a person and how much I appreciate seeing you in my dash. Thank you ☀ lots of love xXxx

I don’t know if you realize how great of a person you are and how much you mean to me. I really don’t deserve all the nice things you say to me. I haven’t been feeling the greatest lately, but somehow all your kind words make me so happy!! My day always becomes so much better when I see your posts!! We don’t talk as much as we should!! You’re a gift to the world, love!! Thank you so much!! Have an amazing day 💜