and how dean would probably just think about buffy


This is an episode tag for Supernatural s10e11, “There’s No Place Like Home.” It got longer than anticipated, so if you’d rather read it on AO3, it’s here.

Summary: While Charlie recovers from her ordeal in the bunker, Sam takes care of her and tells her about his experience with soullessness.

Charlie isn’t sure how long Sam crouches there, just holding her and letting her cry, murmuring soft reassurances in her ear, but eventually he helps her up and, after she declines being carried, supports her as she hobbles to the car. She lays in the back with her head in his lap while Dean, who doesn’t say a word, drives.

Everything hurts. Her body, from the beating it received and gave; the movies always leave out the toll that punching and blocking and kicking takes. Not as much as being on the receiving end, sure, but still, bruises. Her brain, from trying to process the double-consciousness of Dark Charlie and Good Charlie, now made whole again. Hell, she’s pretty sure her soul hurts, because now she remembers the things she did in the war, torturing people, sticking that letter opener into Russell Wellington, and Dean’s face as he beat her.

She can’t seem to stop crying, and Sam never stops stroking her hair, and she doesn’t remember when she grabbed his other hand, but she grips it tight and doesn’t let go. Dark Charlie was right about one thing: Sam really is all good guy.

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