Papa I had a bad dre, everyone I cared about died at in a tsunami and I turned them into monsters with out thinking about thwir feelings. Am I a bad person?
Well if they were dead and you brought them to life even if as monster I would say no.
Also because the concept of what a bad person is it’s about how you actually behave.
Let’s put it as: I sometimes feel the burning desire of genocide of all the crying kids, but as effectively no genocide of crying kids in Italy has been reported, either I hid all the corpses really well or I’m ( taken only this concept ) a person who acts well, a good person.
Dreams are the result of your brain still being active but in a “sleep mode ” because a shut down would mean cerebral death.
It just lowers the use of energies, elaborating without complete rationality informations, memories, feelings and emotions you received and experienced during the day.
Did ya maybe happen to see any film or as such ? Also if you maybe are in one of the zones closer if not with Irma, it could even be a way your fear shows up but gets hidden.
@bakingsherlycakes is a fandom friend who has become a real life friend in every way (except physical proximity.) She’s usually the last person I text each night and one of the first each day. We share highs and lows, laughs and tears. We squee about Benedict and fan fics. We share stories about our jobs and our spouses and the little human offspring we love, yet are driven mad by. In other words, we are friends. So for all the bad the internet can bring, it has enriched my life immeasurably with the friends I would have never otherwise found. (Please pretend this was hand-written on monogrammed stationery like the good southern ladies we are.)
- I sleep to much or not at all
-I eat too much or too little
-I sound disinterested in everything
-Be spaced out a lot
- I will ramble a lot or not talk at all
-I lose track of time
- I make cynical comments, usually about myself
-I push people away
-I tend to rub my eyes and head a lot
-I avoid eye contact
-I am always shakey
-I will avoid certain conversations
Browsing Reddit, I came across an extremely effective post about why some creatives respond very poorly to criticism, or even for those of us who respond well, why it can feel like an attack even though in your head you know it isn’t.
Criticism creates a mental conflict, but not always that kind.
Imagine if you wrote a final essay for your literature class, really
did your best on it, turned it in, and the teacher gave it 100%. Elated,
you take it home to show it off to your dad. Your dad says “You got a
D? You really should have tried harder.” You think WTF, you squint at
the paper and you’re pretty damn sure it says 100%, A+, Good work. But
your dad says “No, it clearly says 63%, D-, disappointing.” Then you
start to realize you’re living in some kind of warped reality where your
dad sees something on the paper completely different than what you see,
and you start wondering if you even know what’s real anymore.
This is what it feels like to get a criticism. It casts into doubt
your own definition of “good” which is probably the basis of your entire
creative process. It’s not even an issue of admitting weakness.
Admitting weakness is easy. What’s not easy is having your instincts
cast into doubt and not knowing whether to trust yourself anymore.
Do I trust this critic?
Do I trust myself? Some combination of the
Do I stand by my decisions or not?
Do I make changes even though I
don’t understand how they will help?
Will the changes completely
undermine the artistic vision I wanted for this?
Will it defeat the
whole point I was going for?
I can’t feel the emotional reasoning behind
making changes, so how will I know if my change is for the better or
Is the critic just not the right audience for this? Is the critic
biased? Is the critic just having a bad day?
Should I ignore them
altogether, and just keep doing this for the people who like it?
fans wrong and simpleminded?
Am I even doing anything of significance?
Should I give up here?
These are all questions which artists ask
themselves when they receive criticism. They’re tricky, ambiguous
questions that don’t always have a correct answer. Many newcomers don’t
even know how to approach these questions, so criticism can often feel
like a personal attack even if both sides mean well.
That’s not to say that criticism itself is bad, but if you get a
better idea of what a criticism is doing psychologically to the
receiver, you might find yourself offering more effective, well-received
This ties in pretty closely to the advice I often give on this very blog, about how to deal with negative feedback; above all, trying not to dwell on it. Before you give any response, always take time to calm down.
This is a pretty universal problem that affects all creatives across all media. You’d have to be as emotionless as a stone to not fall prey to it occasionally.
Part of being a writer is building up creative confidence. This is the faith in yourself to be able to write something and put it out into the world, and to know, deep down, that this work has value, to you and to your audience.
You may, later, discover that this work isn’t all that good, but that doesn’t matter. What matters is that it was a stepping stone to the person you are now, and the work you’re producing today.
Whenever you create a piece of work, make sure you internalise why you made that work. What it meant to you. It doesn’t matter if that work was a prize-winning literary novel or a scrawling of Vegeta from DBZ drawn in pencil on lined paper. If the work expresses something you can’t contain, something you have to get down on paper, over time you’ll develop the creative confidence to accept that even if it’s “bad”, that isn’t what’s important. The end result isn’t as important as the work itself.
Creative Confidence isn’t something you just develop overnight. It takes work. It’ll probably take a few embarrassing moments too, and those will be the hurtful types that’ll lead to “arguments you win in the shower” 5 years later. It takes different durations for different people. However, if you work at it, it’s something I believe is within the reach of everyone.
so recently, there were a lot of really bad spoilers leaked about ML. i can’t imagine how this must feel as a creator, to have all your hard work just thrown out like that for everyone to see, completely out of context. it’s really awful.
in support of thomas and his team, the discord server i am in decided to start a small project: #HeartsForAstruc – even after everything, we still love this show and look forward to the new season. this show means a lot to many people. i am personally really thankful it exists. i have made so many good friends through it, it’s brought me closer to some old ones, and it’s something me and my daughter can enjoy together. honestly, it’s really hard to put into words how much each of these things mean to me. so just… thanks so much for what you guys do. esp thomas, for creating such a great universe for us to play around with. really, thank you so much.
for anyone else who would like to join in: draw a character [or two, or more; can be ML charas or ml oc’s, or yourself if you want] offering hearts. doesn’t have to be a sign, just some sort of love hearts. post it with or without a message, up to you, and then tag it #HeartsForAstruc. let’s cheer the team on. :D/
It’s much easier to not know things sometimes. Things change and friends leave. And life doesn’t stop for anybody. I wanted to laugh. Or maybe get mad. Or maybe shrug at how strange everybody was, especially me. I think the idea is that every person has to live for his or her own life and than make the choice to share it with other people. You can’t just sit there and put everybody’s lives ahead of yours and think that counts as love. You just can’t. You have to do things. I’m going to do what I want to do. I’m going to be who I really am. And I’m going to figure out what that is. And we could all sit around and wonder and feel bad about each other and blame a lot of people for what they did or didn’t do or what they didn’t know. I don’t know. I guess there could always be someone to blame. It’s just different. Maybe it’s good to put things in perspective, but sometimes, I think that the only perspective is to really be there. Because it’s okay to feel things. I was really there. And that was enough to make me feel infinite. I feel infinite.
Stephen Chbosky, The Perks of Being a Wallflower
(not all of them because then this would turn into a 500 page journal that could be published and sold and no one would buy it because no one is as much of a nerd as i am)
our main protagonist is not a traditionally masculine hero. he’s small, he’s weak, he’s a crybaby, he’s sensitive. especially in the shounen genre, this is a pretty rare thing to see, and even as Izuku grows as a person and becomes more confident in himself, he’s still shy and anxious.
he’s also a fanboy!! and not in a bad way!! it’s his fanboy nature that allows him to express himself and show how smart, intuitive, and observant he is
the character who does get all the traditionally masculine traits is the character everyone in the main cast acknowledges is a total asshole who mercilessly bullied and abused his classmate/childhood playmate
it’s also very clearly seen that Izuku has been conditioned (unintentionally) to fear Bakugou because of all of that physical and emotional abuse. just because he’s a hero in training and he’s learning and growing and becoming more confident doesn’t erase all of those years of bullying
it’s also acknowledged that they are children and still have room to grow. Bakugou is an asshole, but he’s not totally villainized for his behavior and is given the chance to change and become a better person because he’s only sixteen years old and still has time to change
and he does!! he makes an effort to change and try to adjust his behavior to make a more positive impact (even if it is a slow and arduous process, we do see him make great strides throughout the manga)
it would have been really easy to just throw Bakugou under the bus and make him a villain, but instead we get to see his growth as a person as he matures and enters the world of adulthood
All Might is the no. 1 hero, the Symbol of Peace, the man everyone thinks is invincible, and he has a chronic condition. he’s missing his stomach, he’s had multiple surgeries, he spits up blood, he literally looks like a skeleton, guys. but even after the reveal, people still admire and look up to him as an idol because he’s still All Might and he still protected and saved a lot of lives and was still a hero
All Might’s relationship with Izuku just in general. seriously, i could make an entirely different list just based on their relationship and 95% of the fandom has already talked about them, so i won’t gush about their relationship too much here
the fact that most of the adults take responsibility when they fuck up. the police force realize they’ve relied too heavily on heroes, specifically All Might, and they make an effort to change that so they can help people. the teachers at UA recognize that they’ve neglected students who need psychological help. Izuku’s mom acknowledges that she should have encouraged his dream in spite of his quirklessness. most stories, even in the west, don’t have nearly as much adult responsibility as this series does
the elusive living anime mom
okay but seriously, Inko is quite possibly one of the best fictional moms i’ve seen in a long time. she’s loving and encouraging and she tries her hardest, but she’s not perfect. she’s a single mom caring for her son, who wants to go into this incredibly dangerous profession. and when he gets hurt enough times, when her limit is finally met, she puts her foot down and says “no. i love you, but i can’t let you keep getting hurt like this.” like any reasonable parent would. and the only way she relents is when she sees how much Toshinori wants to teach him and nurture him and encourage him and see his dream recognized and she sees how badly Izuku wants to continue down this path, even if it’s under her terms.
this series seriously tackles a lot of topics that you wouldn’t expect it to. you know you’re gonna get the usual topics like what makes a hero, what makes a villain, etc. but, it also goes over other subjects like bullying, parental abuse, discrimination, grief, inferiority complexes, how easy it is to create a monster, redemption. this is a manga about teenagers learning to be super heroes, how did it turn out like this
it would have been so easy to sexualize any of the girls. this manga, in the hands of a lesser author, would have featured a lot of fan service shots of the girls. Momo especially, considering she wears a very revealing outfit. and yet, none of them are sexualized?? in any way shape or form??? yeah, we see Momo shirtless a lot and some girls wear skin tight outfits. but, you know who else has skin tight outfits and revealing hero costumes? the boys. and when we do see a shirtless girl or boy, it’s not framed in a way where we’re meant to be objectifying their body. there’s a reason why it happened and we move on. it’s so refreshing.
(there are only two fan service female characters. one uses her sexuality to get free shit and the other is meant to make you uncomfortable. take it what you will)
we get a lot of unique designs for each of the characters. there are no same faces. each character has a unique quirk and a design that belongs to them. they aren’t interchangeable with one another. Izuku looks like Izuku. All Might looks like All Might. they all look unique with different shapes and sizes
(admittedly the manga still kind of falls under the trap of the boys get to have weird, strange designs and the girls all kind of look cute, but it’s not nearly as bad as some other shows. and honestly, if that’s my only complaint, that says a lot)
fighting doesn’t solve everything! there’s a really incredible few chapters in the manga dedicated to acknowledging that Izuku and Bakugou seriously need to talk to each other about what Bakugou did to him. they’re both incredible people in their own right and they can learn a lot from each other, but only if they stop fighting and actually communicate with each other. one of the chapters is literally titled “a meaningless fight”. because it is meaningless. it’s not going to solve their problems, fix past mistakes, or make them feel better. it’s a fight to get aggression out because Bakugou doesn’t know any other way to deal with his emotions and trauma.
kindness is rewarded!!! cruelty is not!!! i’m really sick and tired of TV shows and movies trying to sell this pessimistic outlook that everything sucks and that gives us the right to be assholes to each other just because it’s edgy. My Hero Academia is such a positive manga and it brings me so much joy and happiness and it sends such a wonderful message of anyone can be a hero if you have a good heart and that kindness will be rewarded, even if it takes a really long time.
i love this manga so much and it’s given me so much light and happiness in my life and if that makes me weird because it’s anime, then fine. whatever. i don’t care. i’ll love it for as long as i can, dammit.
I’m bitter AND sticky so let’s get gooey on topic!
People just? forgot that ton of season 3 episode’s visuals are actually amazing? I mean it could be just me but this season clearly trowed a ton of budget into some scenes an episodes!
Super Watermelon Island got an amazing fluid fight scene between two giant women and it was as energetic as it sounds
Gem drill, even tho it was pretty chilly on animation, had ton of detail on Steven’s faces, I find it like such a sweet detail having in mind the episode was focusing a ton on Steven and his connection with the cluster
(this is my personal favorite)
Hit the diamond had a TON of characters on-screen at the same time, having in mind 5 of them where new characters and they had to design new clothing for 5 of them
Even though my favorite part of this episode is the bond between Amethyst and Peridot, I think Too Short To Ride was pretty consistent, I am in love every time they put little lines under the eyes of the characters because it usually helps to remark the emotion they are feeling, is personal.
Stevonnie’s back for Beach City Drift and the thing I like the most about this episode is the backgrounds and the color choices, they are AMAZING and pretty relaxing to watch on their own.
Monster reunion was pretty harsh to see for me because painful scenes (aka scenes where the character is clearly in pain) make me feel incredibly bad, but I again shot out how they draw emotions and the subtle lines that make it all even better.
More than for animation itself, I praise a lot Alone At Sea because of writing and atmosphere, and the last one really works, I felt incredibly… tense, when Jasper showed up, how she acted and the way she expressed herself, and how the colors got dark and the rain around it… just gosh
Even tho it was a pretty okay-o episode in general, I really liked Gem Hunt’s backgrounds, the whites and cold tones made a good mix with Jasper’s colors and really helped her to pop out!
I’ve talked a lot about Bismuth, so at this point everything would feel redundant, so I’ll just say that the first and last scenes have pretty good colors, one being calm pastel tones and the other reddish dark tones #BRINGHERBACK2K17
And finally, Bubbled, which has some on the most beautiful space backgrounds i’ve seen in an animation product, is the feeling of emptiness that makes the most of the episode personally, how is literally just Steven and Eyeball and Eyeball pretty much tries to kill him, in other situations you can think about something going on, but is the fact that they are in space what makes it feel… well… empty, giving more focus to the characters that contrast the most in a sea of dark cold tones and blacks!
This might have been my least favourite episode to date and we had Gendry!!! Okay, in all fairness, it wasn’t a bad episode. There was just one particular conflict that I am not looking forward to seeing continue.
And no, it’s not Jon3rys. I couldn’t give two shits about that right now.
But let’s begin, shall we?
For anyone who still believes Dany to be a good person, I honestly suggest going to an optometrist or retaking high school English because how much more obvious can this show get? I didn’t get to write down her full speech, but following this:
“I’m not here to murder…”
“Bend the knee and join me or refuse and die”
You’re kind of a hypocrite and a really obvious one at that. War is horrible, I get it, and good people do atrocious things in war, but that’s why we, as modern somewhat enlightened (although questionable) human beings, have war trials. People may die in war, as that is inevitable, but there are certain acts that no decent human should perform even in the midst of war.
I know I’m quoting Wikipedia here, but whatever:
Examples of war crimes include intentionally killing civilians or prisoners, torture, destroying civilian property, taking hostages, perfidy, rape, using child soldiers, pillaging, declaring that no quarter will be given, and serious violations of the principles of distinction and proportionality, such as strategic bombing of civilian populations.
Do you think a man as concerned with portraying war as a clusterfuck of morally grey characters would place an entitled figure with weapons of mass destruction which she uses indiscriminately, who commits war crimes, as the main protagonist? Do you think that is a good conclusion? And this is simply going by this episode and not the mess Dany made in previous seasons.
She had Randyll and Dickon Tarly as her prisoners. There was no need to execute them, or at least no need to execute both of them. If she wanted to make an example, she could do so with Randyll, but fine, let’s concede the fact it had to be done. She burned them. A slow, horrible, agonising death. She could have beheaded them, as was customary in Westeros, but no, she chose to burn them because you know why? She likes it. She’s done it before. Burning her enemies gives her great satisfaction of her power, but also it spreads fear into the hearts of everyone there because she knows it’s the only way to get them to submit.
If she allowed them the third option of becoming a prisoner of war, she knows they’d choose that over her. She even says so to Tyrion, because guess what? The people of Westeros doesn’t like or want Dany as their queen. Cersei may be a Grade A Bitch, but she’s the bitch they know. She doesn’t have dragons to burn those who defy her at her will. Yes, she’s powerful and could still easily execute people at a moment’s notice, but they’ve seen her humiliated and frightfully human when she was made to walk naked in shame through the streets of King’s Landing. She is human and she can fall. To them, Dany wields her power like a god and not the kind they worship out of love but out of fear. What kind of ruler is that?
And let’s talk about execution in general here. We’ve seen a lot of it over the seasons, and what we always come back to as a code of honour and true morality in this grey world is this quote from Mr Honour himself, Ned Stark:
“The man who passes the sentence should swing the sword. If you would take a man’s life, you owe it to him to look into his eyes and hear his final words. And if you cannot bear to do that, then perhaps the man does not deserve to die.”
Mr Honour Jr aka Jon Snow lives by this rule like a life motto. If he must sentence a man to die, he will swing the sword himself, and throughout the show, we’ve seen Jon do this and we’ve seen how this weighs upon him, though the culprits may be deserving. Yes, people die in war and Jon has killed on the battlefield for survival, but executing someone is a deliberate act. It’s taking the life of a human while they are powerless to stop you. Jon doesn’t take any pleasure in it.
But Dany… She’s executed people left, right and center. Burning them in the most unnecessarily cruel way because she can and because it instills fear. Feeding them to her dragons which is even worse. That’s not at her hand. That’s cowardly and sadistic.
You know who else rules through fear?
“The only way to keep your people loyal is to make certain they fear you more than they do the enemy.”
Cersei bloody Lannister.
Yeah, let that sink in. And let’s move on.
Jon meeting Drogon. I hated this scene, although I see how it’s important in establishing Jon as a Targaryen. I didn’t like it mostly because I was still reeling Drogon burning the Tarly’s alive, and yet right after, they have Jon bonding with Drogon like some special moment. But do you think Jon would even touch that dragon if he knew the horrors Dany had made Drogon do? Or the fact that she just executed Jon’s best friend’s family in the worst way possible? Yeah, Sam hated his father, but he didn’t hate his brother. And no matter what animosity there was between them, Sam is a good person and he would still be devastated by this. Not to mention we weren’t given all those Dickon scenes where the man acted with honour, kindness and bravery, just to dismiss him as another faceless enemy of Dany’s. He was Sam’s brother and so much like Sam in a way. I think that’s what made his death in spite only knowing him for 2 episodes so heartbreaking. Also, why this meeting between Jon and Drogon made me angry and disgusted.
Of course, it also establishes some Jon3rys bonding, although more so on Dany’s side. Let’s face it, the Dragon Queen wants familial Dragon D. Her heart eyes for Jon throughout this episode was at least 100x more convincing than previous episodes between them. Jon, on the other hand, has moments where he does seem to think Dany is alright, but I still don’t see the same level of affection on his end at all. As always, he has a one-track mind and that’s the war up North.
And I’m sorry but Dany’s attraction towards Jon seems to predicate on her notion that he’s as heroic and powerful as her. I get that he is and that’s a wonderful reason to fall in love with him, but it’s still falling in love with the idea of him and not who he is, because who Jon is, isn’t that person. He doesn’t want to be a hero or to be powerful. I know Show Jon doesn’t go into this, but Book Jon wants a family, to settle in Winterfell and live peacefully and honourably like his pseudo father. But Dany will never know that about him because she doesn’t know him. Take her asking Jon about whether he got a knife to the heart, the wonder and awe in her eyes as she asks him. She wants him to be just like her (or her delusional perception of herself as some kind of prophesised princess that was promised). Jon is who she thinks she is and she’s attracted to that, which is basically some Game of Thrones version of Narcissus. When she realises he’s a Targaryen, she’ll feel threatened more than relieved she’s not alone, because if she thinks he’s her then she’ll think he wants the Iron Throne and he’s a threat to her ambitions.
There’s a reason why after all that Gilly discovers the Rhaegar and Elia annulment (which btw is such bullshit but whatever). Jon has more right to the Iron Throne than she does.
What’s funny about this episode that even Dany’s Second Biggest Fan struggles to support her. Yes, he still will, but that entire conversation he has with Varys just sounds a lot like he’s trying to convince himself that ‘yes, all rulers burn their prisoners like a sadistic pyroqueen, and yes, Dany is so not like her father’. And the fact that her own loyal subjects are questioning her? Yeah, tell me again how she’s a hero.
Now onto the main reason why I hate this episode: StarkBowl. But oh ho, not Jon and Sansa StarkBowl but Sansa and Arya.
I’ve always loved Arya. She was my favourite character for so many seasons, until I fell madly in love with Sansa, although Arya remains in my Number 2 spot. But this episode, I felt such a burning anger towards her. After all they’ve been through, everything Sansa’s endured, Arya would still hold her accountable for the beliefs Sansa held as a young child. She’s changed and grown so much on account of her experiences yet she will not lend her own sister the same courtesy. It pisses me off because what Arya is doing (judging and accusing Sansa of things she didn’t do or for who she was when she was a child) is exactly what Anti-Sansa’s have been doing for years. And her own short-sighted, ignorant inability to grasp that this woman before her is not the same Sansa she once knew has now led her to being manipulated and conned by Littlefinger.
What I can only hope is that Sansa is smarter than Littlefinger. Bran wouldn’t give Arya the dagger if he foresaw Arya using it on Sansa. And I feel like it is so uncharacteristic of Arya, who has longed for so long to be reunited with her pack, to suddenly break down by childish prejudice at the first miscommunication. Sansa is far more cunning than anyone gives her credit for and I feel that this could all be a long orchestrated con on Littlefinger himself. Arya’s not that stupid. I refuse to believe she’s stupid enough to underestimate LF that way and let herself be manipulated so easily. I feel like perhaps that fight between Sansa and Arya was for LF’s benefit because it felt so contrived, so out of nowhere. I know this speculation is also heavily biased by my refusal to believe that the Starks would fight amongst themselves after all they went through, but I do believe that LF will die this season. It won’t be at Sansa’s hand but it will be because of Sansa’s machinations.
Now, onto Gendry!!!!!
The happiest part about this hell episode because fuck, he’s so hot still. That cropped hair, those muscles, that smile… Yeah, swoon. He’s also hilariously bullheaded (very like a Baratheon) when he ignores Davos, hits those soldiers with his hammer and immediately tells Jon who he is.
In fact, there was this instant spark of chemistry between Gendry and Jon in their first meeting.
“You’re a lot leaner.”
“You’re a lot shorter.”
The gentle ribbing of two strangers is adorable, but it also reminds me of Ned and Robert’s first scene together:
"You’ve got fat.”
Now the parallels of Jon as Ned is nothing we haven’t seen before. Gendry as Robert is newer, and Jon and Gendry together as Ned and Robert is so satisfying to watch. It also makes me, a trash shipper, so happy because you know if Jon is being paralleled as Ned in this episode, you know who is being paralleled as Cat?
Yes, that’s right. Strong, confident Sansa, who was called only Lady Stark in the Great Hall meeting.
I know I’m crazy but I’m still not worried about Jonsa. That scene in the Great Hall just kept making me think of Sansa as Penelope. She’s there holding onto Winterfell for Jon’s return as he gallivants off on his many missions and overcomes his many trials. She’s there, always loyal and true to him, and maintains his kingdom for him.
Boatbang may happen (likely), but Odysseus also slept with Calypso, before ultimately returning to his lady love. I believe the same will happen for Jonsa.
Also, who thinks Cersei’s not actually pregnant? I think she’s beginning to question Jaime’s loyalty and needs to firmly hold him in place. And I think when he finds out she’s not after all he’s done for, all the sinful things he did, it might make him plunge that sword into her heart prophecy-style. Or not a sword. I don’t know.
But that’s it for me. My head hurts. My heart hurts. And I maintain that I hate this episode because fuck StarkBowl. And fuck disrespecting Sansa like that.
About a week ago I hooked up with someone and I felt absolutely disgusted, used, disappointed, and dirty because I wasnt comftorable, pleased, or happy with the situation and felt scared to say no so for personal reasons and recent experiences, I decided to share a personal lil guide I made that i follow after a really bad hook up.
*Reminder - this is a PERSONAL guide. What works for me may not work for you. Take what you need and leave the rest
1- Deep throating a dirty dick made me appreciate my tooth brush 10x more. I start off by brushing my teeth and flossing, followed by mouth wash. After this i’ll pour myself something to drink to calm my nerves. I recommend tea even tho i’m pouring myself a shot or 5 of vodka.
2- I’ll pick out clean and comftorable underwear, a clean bra, and a big T-shirt to change into for after my bath.
3- I’ll run my bath with warm water and dump ½ a cup of apple cider vinegar in with bath salts. I usually use lavender or eucalyptus. You best believe i’m dumping a shit load of body wash in there too, everyone knows a bubble bath is therapy.
4- I massage a deep conditioner into my scalp because that mofo yanked the shit out of my hair a little too hard and now my heads a little sore and my hairs a little knotted.
5- I scoop a generous amount of scrub and work it onto my legs, arms, belly, etc and rinse it off. At this point i’ll turn on my shower head then dose my loofah with body wash and scrub the shit out of my skin. Maybe a little too rough but it gives me the illusion that i’m washing away what the person I hooked up with did.
6- At this point I usually sit in the water to soak for a bit longer or i’ll rinse off and drain the tub and get out. I dry off and cover my body in lotion and spritz a comforting scent on (jasmine, lavender, vanilla) to get the smell of him off me.
7- after this I know my pussy is hurtin. When a guy cant get you wet and rips your dry pussy up it can take a toll on you and your pussy’s emotional health. I’ll take a wet warm wash cloth (please no soap) and gently press it on my labia for any swelling. Then i’ll rub on some coconut oil and put on my panties. No masturbating, let her chill for a bit and recover
8- ok so now that ive done all this i’ll put on my bra and Tshirt and get into bed. I like to write how i’m feeling or honestly just bawl my eyes out and remind myself of these 5 things-
~Who I sleep with doesnt define me
~How many people Ive slept with doesnt define me
~What I do in bed doesnt define me
~I am not less of a person
~I will be okay. My body will be okay. My heart will be okay.
This was kind of a messy little list I put together. Ive been meaning to write this and once I did I cant even put all my thoughts and routines into something that makes sense. But bad hook ups can really take a toll on you. They take a toll on me. And I want to give some kind of supports to others who find themselves in the same situation. Its a kind of misunderstood thing where you feel awful because you agreed to what you were doing but you still feel violated.
Can i request a Jeff Atkins imagine where hes like a badboy but when Y/N is the new girl at Liberty and Clay takes her under his wing, Jeff feels the need to protect her and be good for her? And then at a party he sees Monty and Y/N flirting so he gets wasted and Y/N ends up taking him to her house and taking care of him and he drunkenly confesses his softy feelings for her?
Pairing:bad boy!Jeff Atkins x fem!reader
A/N:I changed it a lil bit,hope you don’t mind!This is my very first Jeff imagine so please bear with me;)Also,i decided to divide this imagine into two or three parts.Oh,and feedback is always welcome:)-M
Ever since Y/N came to Liberty High,the students just couldn’t stop talking about her;the new girl was really beautiful and seemed really kind.Just because she was quite an introvert,the first person she started hanging out with was Clay Jensen.They would walk in the halls,they would do school projects together and sometimes they would go to Monet’s for coffee or milkshakes.
It hadn’t been long until Y/N got slightly annoyed by the behavior of a specific boy who obviously wasn’t happy with her existence;Jeff Atkins.One of the most popular boys at school and one of the best football players.But he didn’t take girls seriously.His longest"relationship"wasn’t longer than two weeks,Clay told her.
There was something on him though,something that made her stomach flip whenever he passed by.Was it his beautiful face?His muscular body?His adorable laugh?Maybe his talent?She couldn’t tell.But she wanted to get to know him,that she could tell for sure.But she decided to quit thinking about him after the “hall incident” as everyone called it.
Y/N was late for last period and with many books in her hands,she was hurriedly heading to her next class.Her eyes were fixed on the floor,as always and unfortunately she didn’t see the figure in front of her.Only when she bumped into him and fell down on her butt,did she realize.Her books were all over the floor.
“What the hell Y/N?” She heard a familiar voice shouting.Embarrassed,she looked up and came face to face with a very angry Jeff Atkins.The cup of coffee he was holding just seconds ago had fallen on his white shirt,the hot liquid soaking it.
Without breaking eye contact but in tears, she stood up on her own and making sure her skirt was in the right place, she replied in a low voice.
“I’m so sorry Jeff,i wasn’t look-”
“Looking,yeah!But you know what?For once in your life just stop daydreaming and be aware of your surroundings!You’re so annoying!“He said harshly and glancing at his shirt,he let out a sigh.
“I can’t believe this is happening…"Jeff said between his gritted teeth,rubbing the soaked fabric.
The lump in Y/N’s prevented her from speaking.She just stood there,hurt.A few tears escaped her eyes but she quickly whipped them away.Were Jeff’s words true though?Was she annoying?Was he exaggerating or just stating facts?No,he didn’t know her.He didn’t know her at all.He didn’t have the right to talk about her like this.
“I can…I can help you clean it,if you want-” she offered with a shaky voice but he interrupted her once again.
“Nah,i think you’ve done enough,sweetheart…” And pushing past her,he left, fast-pacing probably to the bathroom.
Y/N bit her lip.So hard that she started tasting blood.What did she ever do to him?Yeah,they had once or twice exchanged a “hey” or a “goodbye” during chemistry classes but other than that,she didn’t really talk to him.How can a person be irritated by someone else just by looking at them?
“Y/N are you okay?“Clay broke her thoughts.He had already picked up all her books and handed them to her.
Y/N’s eyes wandered from the students who witnessed the whole thing to Clay.She then turned around and saw Jeff slowly being out of sight.
“Yeah,i am fine,i guess…"She mumbled and letting out a huge breath she didn’t know for how long she’d been holding in,she patted her friend’s shoulder.
“Jeff is bad news Y/N.Don’t stress over it.He’s rude towards everyone most of the times.Are you hurt?“He asked curiously and quickly scanned her body.
"I’m perfectly fine,thanks Clay.Guess i’ll see you around.” She said rather quickly and literally and started walking to her next class.
Her phone buzzed in her pocket so she stopped moving,taking it out to see who had messaged her.
It was her friend Jessica.
"Huge party tomorrow night.My place.Come over after school for all the details.Best part,your lovely Jeff will be there!;)”
She felt sick to her stomach as she finally went into class.The teacher hadn’t arrived yet;well,she wasn’t the only one who got late.She quietly found a place next to Justin Foley -the only one empty-who acknowledged her with a smirk.
“Great,just…Great…I hate parties…"She told herself and sighed.
A night full of surprises had been waiting for her.She just didn’t know.
like before you even started to date, he’d make your day every single day w/ his adult humor and tbh this is probably one of the reasons you finally fell for him
aka don’t lie we’re all dirty minded
so when he realized that he’s starting to fall for you, this would really shake him up man
he was sure as hell he didn’t want to be stuck in the friendzone
bc like……..he was 500% sure he was never going to feel the same way about someone if you were to reject him…………….ur his best friend man
so he told you straight up what the deal was
and if it was any other person you’d think it was kinda hostile how he kinda cornered you and basically stated all the reasons why he loves you and gave you a choice whether to love him back or not and it’s like ???
but it’s Jongdae so
you were like…………deal
but also you probably can’t help but kiss him bc his satisfied smirk is unreal
okay now we got that out of the way
dude he is nOT a morning person
and whenever he’d pull you back in his arms when you want to get up, he feels bad about it afterwards ??
“y/n I am so very sorry I put you in this situation here today”
“ok so why are you still cuddling onto my leg”
“………………….it’s warm and also have I told you I loved you yet ;;;;;;”
but when it comes to making breakfast foods, he’s hella ready
w/ his ‘kiss the chef’ apron and spatula and everything aw
however there won’t be much kissing going on bc he’s deadly serious about perfecting those eggs and cook the sausages at the right temperature
afterwards he’s like “aren’t you glad your boyfriend is a great cook who spoils you every morning ;))))”
“jongdae it’s literally almost noon”
*feeds u a sausage* “shhhhh”
in front of the other members, he will not hold back on his affections for you
he’s straight up french kissing you in their dressing room before a show and you won’t even realize how long you’ve been on the dresser until the members get agitated and call for him
“listen we know ur both like little lovesick bunnies but our company’s gonna literally kill us if we’re late to another show is2g jongdae”
he’s dead set on making you learn exo’s routines and honestly it’s so amusing
mostly bc you’re always complimenting him on his dancing skills
“Aw baby you were dancing so great, you should join the dance line and leave all the singing to minnie”
you probably will regret that bc he won’t stop belting off his high notes for the whole day bc you still low key hurt his feelings
“no, baby, you gotta move your legs like this but keep your hand at your shoulder!!!!”
“babe look, I don’t think any normal human being besides exo can get the monster routine right just let me live”
“ok time for call me baby, then :’)”
he’s literally just always clinging onto your arm or waist
and it’s kinda comforting bc you just have to turn your head and tell him a joke or something that just popped in your mind
and he’ll always laugh and poke your sides
and kiss your forehead all softly and probably makes you blush hella
ohmygod I’m soft for him
sometimes you’ll just be cuddled into his side as he plays w/ your hair and working on writing lyrics at the same time
and so he’ll absentmindedly hum along
and freaks out when you speak up all of the sudden and tell him his voice is so soothing
but now he’s screaming as he usually does bc you scared him lmao
he whines cutely in your ear a lot bc he knows it amuses you
he’s willing to slow dance w/ you anytime, anywhere
like if he just hears a slow song or……….”Your song” playing, he’d pull you flush against his chest and leans his forehead against yours
and the world just kinda slows down when you’re stood right here w/ him, so it ain’t all that bad
always hyping him up over texts when he’s away and he happens to suddenly send you a selfie
“OMFG that’s the loml?????? how is it legal for u to look like that in a suit when i’m not there ;((((”
but seriously tho he looks so fine in a suit
and he’s always dressing up and taking you out to fancy dates, but tbh all you’d care about is sneaking pics of him as he’s ordering or just staring at you without knowing
but he knows afagshdjkflglh
he loves taking baths w/ you and does it often after he’s worn out after practice
and he’s such a gentleman like
he’ll get out of the tub before you and hold up a towel and assist you when you step out omfg
also always buys you flowers for no occasion ??? like he’s just
“it’s what every boyfriend should do :’)”
leaning your head on his shoulders as much as you can bc he’s so smol and soft and he loves this
he’s just so cuddly in general like I don’t think you understand
and also you should know that once he starts kissing you, things go downhill and neither of yall wanna stop anyway so
“You seem very put together and secure in one self so I’m going to ask you this, and I would prefer it wasn’t publicly posted. Even if you don’t respond, that’s okay, but at this point I feel like I would appreciate a wiser person’s perspective. My boyfriend and I broke up, which may sound petty, but the shitty way I feel is not. It was because he was too overwhelmed to put effort into it. What would you suggest is the best way to move on from said breakup? HOW DO YOU PURGE YOURSELF OF EMOTION”
I asked this reader for permission to pull her question out of my askbox and answer it publicly because it seemed like it might be useful to more than one person considering becoming an emotional robot.
Dear Unnamed Reader,
First: you’re not going to like my advice.
Second: you don’t have to take it. I’m really only adequately equipped to give advice on how to be more like me, and trust me, sources are widely divided on whether this is a good thing.
Third: I don’t think your turmoil is petty. One thousand ships have been launched in the name of a bad break-up.
Fourth: You ask me how to purge yourself of emotion. I reckon this must mean I don’t look like a hot mess on the internet, which is good to know. But I assure you that when something pings my emotional radar, I feel all feelings at level 11. Example? This morning, I gave Lover a ride to an errand. We took my old Camaro. On the interstate ramp, I put the car through its paces and experienced the burst of joy that comes in third gear at 4400 rpm. Once the car had settled, I realized Lover was staring at me. “God,” he said, “can you be any more happy?” No. No, in fact, I couldn’t. Emotions are binary in Maggie Stiefvater. You should have seen me when I first heard Two Door Cinema Club’s “Sun.” I almost died from happiness.
But that also means my negative emotions are dialed to 11. I don’t often get upset — I’ve just become so unreasonably plucky that I assume all woes are transient, so whatevs. Because of my outsized belief in my ability to problem-solve, I really only get upset when I feel powerless. 2015 turned out to be the year of powerlessness: terrible things happening to friends, to my family, in the world. I finally broke last weekend over a comparatively tiny thing —a news article printed stuff about me that was so hilariously not true that I thought no one would believe it, particularly as the truth was still perfectly findable. But they did. And I couldn’t do a thing about it without stirring things up more and getting yet more messages telling me how glad they were to see me shot down from my Raven Cycle induced high blah blah etc. A minuscule thing — but yet more powerlessness after a year of epic powerlessness. I proceeded to launch 1,000 emotional ships. Work ground to a halt. I listened to Kygo’s remix of Matt Corby’s “Brother” 62 times in a row without pause. I sat under my office desk, only emerging to give in to to my OCD, which demanded, among other things, 17 clothing changes in 8 hours because SEAMS GOD THE SEAMS WHY. I blew a deadline. I flew to Colorado. I exceeded the speed limit in a rental Nissan that was not meant to exceed the speed limit. I blew another deadline. I paced until I couldn’t feel my knees. I thought about how I’d ruled out self-harm as an option a decade ago. I returned home. I sat on the shower floor for a very long time. I failed to sleep. I could have pretended that I wasn’t hurting, but —
Fifth: you cannot cut out the sad emotions without cutting out the happy ones.
Sixth: I am a disgustingly happy person. I fucking love life. The number of things in life that please me daily continues to astonish me, considering how terrible the world is. But I’m a happy person because I’m also sometimes a wretchedly sad person or terribly angry person. If you want to live life turned up all the way, you have to be open to the possibility of both joy or despair.
Seventh: which brings me to the advice you’re not going to like: being miserable right now is not a bad thing. What you’re feeling is a valid response to a situation that you feel powerless in. It’s horrible. But you feeling genuine pain now means that you can — and will — feel genuine happiness at some point. Agony and joy come from the same place: being emotionally invested in your own life.
Eighth: The way back to happiness is getting out of the cycle of powerlessness — basically, finding a place you can have agency again. Your misery is going to want you to find a way to be powerful in your current miserable situation. If you’re anything like me, you’ve rehearsed a few thousand options in your head. Calling him and winning him back. Making him feel as sad as you. Sending ugly greeting cards to his mother. Anything that would make you feel like you’re not completely helpless. But you need to find something else that you can be the boss of. Remind yourself of the things that make you feel like a badass. It doesn’t matter how silly or stupid they are. It can be as difficult as a project that you think will change the world, or as easy as playing a song that always gets you high. Do that.
Ninth: Do not listen to Kygo’s remix of “Brother.” It will not cheer you up.
Tenth: There is no tenth, but I really wanted one. So eat more leafy green vegetables.
ETA I CHANGED IT TO 2015 I DON’T KNOW WHY I KEEP CALLING THIS YEAR 2016
you're full of ideas and they're always amazing! you are so much smarter than you give yourself credit for, even though you try to appear like you're a bit of a daredevil, you don't always like to come too far out of your cozy little comfort zone. but I promise, if you come out a bit more you can experience so many exciting things, and your abilities will make you shine like a star in the night sky.
not only are you are a badass, you're also super cool. if there are any haters its only because they want to be like you - really though. you just have an aura about you that pulls people in and once they get to know you, they don't ever want to get away. people want to overindulge in you, and if that wears you out then take a break and don't feel bad about it, your friends know you'll come back at the end of the day.
you're not a two-faced backstabbing bitch, you are a beautiful person who struggles with having to listen to an angel and a devil on your shoulders all day, which I can only imagine is super tough but you've done an incredible job to even come all this way and you should be so proud of yourself, I know I am. and lets take a moment to appreciate how you can walk into a room and suddenly be everyone's best friend with your natural charm and easy-going nature. you could take a bullet in the chest and your smile won't even falter. you're so determined to get what you want and you're so passionate and just everything you do is admirable. keep going, you rock this world.
if we're being real here, you don't actually cry *that* much. this is what it is - you have so many emotions swirling inside of you and they are like a beautiful storm of bright lights. and you should continue to let that out and share that beauty with everyone! but even with all that, you can be pretty hardcore and you are so strong, inside that whirlpool is a fire than burns bright, you should show people your intense passions as well as your caring side.
you are amazing, and everyone around you knows it. if you're being too hard on yourself, lighten up a little because so far you've done everything right. everything happens for a reason, and if you feel guilty or sad about something just remember that your experiences have shaped who you are today - a beautiful, wonderful, magical creature with sparkling eyes, a loving soul and fabulous hair.
you work so hard to be on top of the game and I know how stressful that can be, but trust me when I'm saying that if you're doing the best you can, please don't push yourself any further. I'm sure you know what it feels like to get 3 hours sleep only to just scrape everything in on time, but you're doing just fine and please remember to reach out to your friends and loved ones and talk about how youre feeling. honestly, letting out any negativity makes you feel so, so much better, and you deserve the best.
it's not that you're indecisive, you just like to weigh out all the pros and cons of a situation before you go into something - which is such a good idea, and I admire you for that. I bet you wish you had a crystal ball and could see the future to know how your decisions will turn out, huh? but the reality is that you should stop worrying about about the future and live in the moment. if you're not focusing on the present, you won't get to where you want to be in the future, and we definitely don't want to see you somewhere where your talents aren't being showcased.
your personality is just so magnetic and you're so hypnotic, so many people absolutely adore you and would do anything for you - but sometimes they might not be 100% certain that the feelings are mutual. now, I know you love your friends and family so, so much with a fiercely strong love, but would it kill you to tell people that you love them and how you're feeling sometimes? everyone is here to help you and guide you on your journey to reaching the stars, but you can't build your rocket ship without the help of others.
you are incredible and so smart, it actually makes people stop in their tracks when you open your mouth and spout some beautiful, philosophical words of wisdom. or even just opening your mouth to say anything. everything about you is great but I'm not sure you appreciate yourself as much as you should. all the friends you have who love you should be an indication of how great you are. if you don't learn to love yourself, you might not be able to see through and out of your own little bubble and actually notice how much people care about you. because they care so, so much. don't you ever doubt that.
your motto is work hard and don't take shortcuts, which is amazing and everyone admires you for that. it takes a lot of hard work and dedication to be you, and even if nobody mentions it, everyone is impressed. you're gonna go far, kid. but know that even if you're stuck in a rut right now you just need to jump a little higher and climb out. if you're stressed, talk to someone you trust and just open up and tell them what youre feeling. help them help you, and everything will be okay.
we're not emotionless, we have a lot of feelings and we just choose not to express them because we're scared of people being overwhelmed by us, and we like to trust someone 100% before we open up. and there is nothing wrong with that. you're so good at listening to people's problems/how they feel and your advice is 10/10, but if you don't take time to talk to people about how you're feeling, you bottle everything up and one day it'll get so full that the lid will burst - and I know you're afraid of letting out all your feelings in one go, I definitely am. the only way around that is to let it out, bit by bit, slowly and over the years, to maintain your composure and sanity. and nobody will see you any different or judge you if you open up to them.
you're passionate, your creativity is out of this world, you're so good at helping people and you don't have a selfish bone in your body. you're always so up for helping people, and that is amazing! you're compassionate like no other, and your ideas are off-the-charts crazy cool. and you're not weak! you are perfectly capable of putting up your barriers, you just like to trust people enough to keep them down a lot of the time. and you're definitely not weak either, you've probably lived through some heartbreaking experiences, and you're still able to walk around with your head up and your heart open. now thats real strength.
So I’ve compiled a list of bullet points explaining why Bughead is wrong and you shouldn’t ship it.
“Don’t give up. […] You’re so much stronger than all the white noise. You’re stronger than your mother. You’re stronger than your father. You’re keeping this family together, so don’t let go.” - Jughead
“Hey, hey. You belong here, just as much as everyone else. This is your home. You know that, right?” - Betty
“I should have told you about my Dad when I had the chance. […] I was ashamed.” - Jughead
“I should have told you about Chuck. But I lied and instead threw you this party that you didn’t even want.” - Betty
“If there was even an iota of a chance that doing something could hurt you in any way, Betty wouldn’t do it.” - Jughead
“[…] He said no, and I believed him. And I still believe him. I’m not going to insult Jughead or betray him by entertaining this.” - Betty
“It’s just that when people do nice things for me, I short-circuit. Maybe I’m not used to it. Maybe I’m scared of getting hurt, being rejected for being myself.” - Jughead // “There’s this darkness in me that’s overwhelming. […] I think that’s what makes me do all these crazy things…” - Betty
“It’d keep you safe.” - Jughead
“If we’re gonna be together, I wanna know who you are. All of it.” - Betty
“What did I do wrong?” - Betty // “Nothing. We’ll figure it out.” - Jughead
“I don’t wanna become a scapegoat.” - Jughead // “I’m not gonna let that happen.” - Betty
“You did the right thing, telling her the truth.” - Jughead
Betty: *goes out of her way to help Jughead reconnect with his father*
Jughead: *gets slammed into a wall trying to defend Betty and Polly*
Betty: *believes Jughead when literally no one else does*
Jughead: *kisses Betty’s self-harm scars*
Betty: *sees sad Jughead* *proceeds to uncover a clue that solves the murder case*
Jughead: *starts actively embracing life on the South side after seeing Betty get threats just by associating with him* *is willing to be physically separated from Betty if it means ensuring her personal safety*
Betty: *fights to be with Jughead despite the looming threat of a civil war*
Jughead: *attends social events he has no interest in to give Betty moral support*
These two are so bad for each other, am I right? Look how unhealthy this is. So problematic. Who in their right mind would ever even consider shipping these two? Ridiculous concept.