and hold your head up high

1. Don’t date a boy who cancels plans last minute. Especially if he’s canceling for someone else. You are not a second choice. You are not a third choice. You are a first choice or you are nothing to him.
Do you understand me, baby? You are worth so much more than that, don’t let him push you around.

2. If he’s rude to you, drop him. I don’t care how many times he says “just kidding” or “baby, I didn’t mean it” you keep your head up, your shoulders straight, your chin high and you demand to be treated as the goddess you are.

3. If he doesn’t hold your hand in front of his friends or wrap his arms around you when you’re with his family then he isn’t worth it. Date someone who can’t keep their hands off of you. Date someone who aches with the need to feel your skin on theirs.

4. Make sure he has goals, aspirations, dreams. Make sure he has a plan of some sort. If he doesn’t have any of those what are you guys supposed to talk about? What are your 2 AM conversations going to look like?

5. Find out his hobbies and interests and make sure they’re similar to yours. If you want to travel, date someone who will drop what they’re doing just to take you on a random adventure. You don’t want to be stuck with someone who’s idea of a good night is sitting on his futon with cheesy Dorito fingers while you watch him play video games.

6. If your brother doesn’t like him or if he rubs your sister the wrong way, trust their instinct. There’s probably a reason. I can guarantee you, darling, if you bring him home and we can see in his eyes that you light up his entire world than we will love him just as much as you do. 

7. Baby, if he ever lays a finger on you, you fucking leave him. Don’t think twice, don’t look back and don’t you dare accept his apology two days later. 

8. If you can’t trust him you shouldn’t be dating him. If you have to go through his phone to sleep better at night he’s not the one for you.

9. You’re going to fight, you’re going to argue, that is all part of a relationship. But baby, if he is contradicting everything you say solely for the sake of an argument, just walk away.

10. I’ve seen anger and rage in your grandfather’s eyes. I saw it everyday for 17 years, baby. If losing a football game makes him so mad as to not want to speak to you, than you are giving yourself to the wrong boy. He’s going to grow, and he’s going to get meaner, and he’s going to hurt you. Leave now.  

11. If his laugh doesn’t claw it’s way into your memory and his smile doesn’t make you feel like the entire universe is right in front of you than you are wasting your time.

—  11 Dating Tips I Wish My Mother Would Have Told Me 
  • Hufflepuff aesthetic: sitting after a long day; pulling your blanket back on when it falls off in the night; broken cinnamon sticks; jumpers that are too big; putting on warm socks; your pet resting their head on your lap; butterfly kisses; extra creamy hot chocolate; humming in the morning;
  • Gryffindor aesthetic: being breathless after running; spinning fast on office chairs; untying your hair; having dirty feet; finishing big breakfast; holding hands; fire crackling; having red lips from berries; burning the tips of your fingers on hot drinks; brushing your hands through fur;
  • Slytherin aesthetic: making perfect paper creases; sucking on ice; rooms with high ceilings; looking up at the stars; getting up for a drink of water at night; brushing your hair behind your ears; heels clicking on polished floors; dancing home alone; driving fast; jumping high on trampolines; charcoal on fingers; blasting music on headphones; being light-headed after a sleep in;
  • Ravenclaw aesthetic: covering your eyes with your hair; cold wind on your face; brushed teeth; finishing a long book series; wearing extravagant clothes at home for no reason; sipping lemonade through straws; multi-tasking; hot showers; staying up late; quiet music; the taste of mint; perfectly sharpened pencils;
tips for confidence

hey everyone ! the title speaks for itself, this is a post on how to be more confident. (i will try not to make this personal but who knows)

i. have a playlist that makes you feel badass. this is the easiest tip i know. when you feel horrible, blast that badass playlist. feel the fire in your bones. lose yourself to the power in the music. i have a few playlists h e r e if you want to check them out for inspiration or whatnot.
ii. posture is everything. hold your head up high. this is so hard sometimes, i know, trust me. sometimes you want to curl in a ball and disappear. but if you want to look confident, want to be confident, you need to hold your head up and straighten your back and walk like you mean business.
iii. know yourself. know your flaws. know your strengths. know what your limitations. honestly, this is so hard for someone with a personality disorder or someone who is neurodivergent or anyone actually. but knowing what you can do, sitting down and thinking hard, is incredibly helpful.
iv. make a list of what you know you can do. you can breathe, you can blink, you can kill a man, it doesn’t matter what is on the list as long as you can do it. it can be hard or easy. it can be something everyone can do or only people of your culture can do or something only you know how to do. trust me, there is something you can do. now look at all the crap you can do ! look at you ! hell yeah you can do stuff !
v. now make a list of what you can’t do/ haven’t been able to do yet. maybe it’s riding a bike, maybe it’s scoring a 5 on your ap test, maybe it’s kissing that cute girl in your math class i don’t care. it can be something everyone can do or something no one can do or a small task or a hard task. highlight what you want to learn to do or want to do. how will you do it? if you ever end up doing the thing, move it onto the list of things you can do. woohoo ! you did something hell yeah ! be confident, look at you accomplishing stuff ! smile, babe.
vi. maybe make another list for your flaws, also highlighting what you want to change. strive to make those changes. you can become a good person, you can become a better person. people change. that’s okay. look at you improving as a person. high five !
vii. breathe. do it. in through your nose. out through your mouth. now go back to that point about posture. straighten your back, lift your head up, breathe again.
viii. fake it til you make it. confidence is not easy. pretend to be confident through my tips or someone elses or do whatever you want actually just pretend to be confident. keep on doing this everyday. you will become confident eventually trust me.
ix. treat yourself sometimes. working yourself until you pass out isn’t really a confidence booster. sometimes, you need to care for yourself. it will make you feel better. hell yeah your skin smells like cocoa butter ! hell yeah you look cute asf ! you are worth it. show yourself that sometimes, okay ?

that’s all for now ! have a lovely day ily <3

Don’t look up, my love, there’s no war here. The girl on the train works with the peace corps and hanging right next to her backpack is bright pink mace.

Close your eyes when you get home, carry your mother’s best knife with you into the shower. Hold it in your shaky palm. Wait for your family to get home, keep it where you can get it, have it pointed in front of you like the prow of a ship. Cleave the air, wait for the moment when out of the closet or under the bed a man will grab you and use your empty house as an invitation, as asking for it.

Lock your car. Check the backseat before getting in. Don’t sit too long in parking lots. Don’t break down on the side of the road. Don’t get in a vehicle with people you don’t know. Don’t stand up straight, don’t hold your head up high. Don’t cry where someone could see.

Have 911 pre-dialed. Carry a pocket knife the way your brother does. He plays with his because he is a boy scout and he might have to use it. Yours is a weight and you are terrified for the day you will have to use it. Don’t panic when men stand too close to you, don’t breathe too deep, don’t look them in the eye - but don’t look weak, don’t look vulnerable, don’t show that you’re scared, but be scared.

Don’t marry him if he’s mean to his mother, if he’s mean to dogs, if he’s mean to waiters. It’s your fault if he is cruel, you should have seen it coming. Don’t kiss him if you’re drunk and not looking to follow up. Don’t give him the wrong idea. Don’t love him, it’s clingy. Don’t spurn him, it’s heartbreaking.

Let him catcall you from the safety of his four-wheel drive, don’t flip him off. Think about the girls that have died on the edge of the road. Let him trail slowly behind you so that the crunch of his tires matches the grind of your teeth. Get inside whatever building you can find. Hope the car doesn’t loop back around and follow you later. Sooner or later, one of the cars is going to loop back around and follow you later.

Don’t call yourself a feminist, you will become sick of explaining that you don’t hate men. Don’t call yourself a feminist, it’s seen as an attack. Don’t call yourself a feminist, you will hear more slurs against your person than if you had said you wanted to kill the president. Don’t call yourself a feminist, it’s dangerous to want something for yourself. Don’t call yourself a feminist. Hold fast to the idea that girls of all shapes and sizes and colors and bodies deserve the same things as everyone else, fight for it quietly - but don’t call yourself a feminist.

Don’t be like other girls, whatever that means. Don’t be one of those plastic girls. Don’t be one of those gamer girls. Don’t be one of those band geeks. Don’t be one of those hipsters. Don’t be one of those fangirls. If you can, don’t be.

Don’t look up. Don’t breathe. Don’t think. Don’t worry, my love, there’s no war here. It’s in some far-off distant country.

—  Nothing to see here (part one) /// r.i.d
Pay attention, my dear. I’m going to tell you the secret to getting a good boyfriend. You have to be confident.
1.
When you walk, don’t slouch. Hold your head up high like the princess that you are; if it helps, imagine that you wear a crown made of gold and silver and the minute it falls, it breaks beyond repair. Just so you know, you will never truly lose your crown. This is only an idea to keep you standing tall.
2.
When those boys you like speak to you, look them in the eye. These boys like it when you hold back; they like knowing they have power and control and I guarantee the ones not worth it will be unable to hold your gaze.
3.
Speak up. If they say or do something you don’t like, don’t be afraid to burn them with the well deserved words that come out of your mouth or simply leave them. You have the right to defend yourself and your values and keeping yourself in a good light is no reason to let yourself be treated like a doormat. You can still be as beautiful as you are while disagreeing; the worthy ones won’t run when you show you have some backbone.
4.
Tolerate no abuse. As you grow up, you will be warned about physical abuse constantly to the point of wondering just how high your chances are of coming home to us with a black eye but let me tell you something: abuse isn’t as black and white as him laying his hands on you. If he says things that make you feel any less amazing than you are, you need to leave. I don’t care how much he satisfies you, regardless of the exact way he does so. Those words are smoke, his arms are a burning house and you need to escape immediately.
5.
Know your worth. If you need a reminder of who you represent, look at your mother and the way she radiates beauty without even trying. I don’t know how she does it. What I do know, is that you can do more. You can be more than anything I or your mother could ever be. Never forget that you are capable of anything you put your mind to. Never forget that you are precious.
—  Maxwell Diawuoh, How to Get a Good Boyfriend

Boyfriend!Michael rolling off of you after sex and holding his hand up in the air. You ask him what he’s doing and he says, “we were both so awesome, high five me.” You roll your eyes playfully, but smack your palm against his and peck his lips afterwards. You’re just pulling on a shirt over your head when Michael slaps your ass, making you yelp out. He smirks and walks past in all his naked glory, telling you to “hit the showers, kid. Good game.”

I want to say when I was little, like Maleficent, I was told I was different. And I felt out of place, too loud, too full of fire, never good at sitting still, never good at fitting in and then one day I realized something. Something I hope you all realize. Different is good! So, don’t fit in. Don’t sit still. Don’t ever try to do less than you are. When somebody tells you you’re different, smile and hold your head up high and be proud. And as you’re villain, I would also say — cause a little trouble. It’s good for you.
—  Angelina Jolie’s speech at the Kids’ Choice Awards (3/28/2015)

Aries: Learn to love yourself again. Stop using everyone else’s half baked measurements to see if you are enough. Look in the mirror and know, know you are enough.
 
Taurus: There’s nothing over your shoulder. Nothing is going to come out of the darkness and attack you. You are safe. You are secure, and nothing can harm you. There’s nothing to fear here..

Gemini: Stop falling in love with everyone that’s trying to kill you. Stop loving the way vodka stings or how the way their voice sounds. Stop loving everything that’s going to destroy you.

Cancer: This world was clearly not made for you. You are so much more than your body and your weakness will allow. So much fucking more. Know there are better things than this

Leo: You are not just scars and wounds and everything fucked up about you. You are so much more then all of your sins and all your mistakes. Hold your head up high, you’ll be okay.

Virgo: It wasn’t your fault. I want you to know. Listen to your fucking friends for once in your God damn life. Listen to us because all we want to do is help you.

Libra: Let their memories go. Stop digging up graves, because nothing you recover will ever be the same. The skeletons are just that, skeletons. You will never hear a heartbeat from that corpse again.

Scorpio: Smile, it’s the best fuck you, that you cannot give them. Let their words roll off you like sweat instead of the posion they want it to be. They’re trying to get past your mask, but do not crack. Do not break. You are better than this.

Sagittarius: Take a moment, and appreciate how far you’ve come. How far you’ve drug yourself. Because you survived. The worst is past, you’ve won.

Capricorn:  Wrap your wounds. Lay down close your eyes. Let yourself rest for once. You deserve some peace and quiet. Let yourself be calm. You deserve some peace and serenity for once.
 
Aquarius: Find your home. Whether it’s in their arms, or running, or dancing to loud music. Find the one place where your skin starts to really feel like skin is suppose to. Where you can feel your heart beat in the best way possible.

Pisces: Run. If you’re going to run run now. Do not look back. Do not hesitate. If you are going to break these chains, this is your one chance. Break them

—  This weeks horoscope
Laugh, even when you feel too sick or too worn out or tired.
Smile, even when you’re trying not to cry and the tears are blurring your vision.
Sing, even when people stare at you and tell you your voice is crappy.
Trust, even when your heart begs you not to.
Twirl, even when your mind makes no sense of what you see.
Frolick, even when you are made fun of. Kiss, even when others are watching. Sleep, even when you’re afraid of what the dreams might bring.
Run, even when it feels like you can’t run any more.
And, always, remember, even when the memories pinch your heart. Because the pain of all your experience is what makes you the person you are now. And without your experience—-you are an empty page, a blank notebook, a missing lyric. What makes you brave is your willingness to live through your terrible life and hold your head up high the next day. So don’t live life in fear. Because you are stronger now, after all the crap has happened, than you ever were back before it started.
—  Alysha Speer

There comes a time when you know something’s got to change. If no matter how hard you try, negativity welcomes you on most days, then something’s got to change. Reflect truly on your priorities; what matters the most to you, whether it’s friends, family, kindness, self-compassion or God. If there are people who break your heart continuously, trying to weigh you down, cut ties with them. As difficult as it is, emotionally distance yourself away from them and work on a better you. Be with people who support you and lift you up instead of constantly bringing you down. When your confidence is low, hold your head up high.

If it’s a negative way of thinking, reflect on how it’s affecting you and as hard as it is, be gentle on yourself. Better yourself by nurturing compassion towards others, including yourself. Don’t focus so much on the idea of success or grades and instead, focus on learning, acquiring knowledge and personal growth.

If you feel like you’re not progressing forward, stuck in a negative state of mind, ask for advice and help from people you can trust and rely on. Most of all, never forget your morals and values, compassion, kindness and your heart. All this is not easy as it requires a lot of courage and faith but it is worth it. Because one small positive change can significantly change your whole life for the better.

—  melodramatlc, All the best