and his name is elliot

The thing about Death Note is that it could have been good, if they had actually Americanized it instead of white washing it. I’ll explain the difference. 

Death Note is amazing, not just because of it’s interesting premise, art, and storytelling, but also because it asks audiences to ponder over various moral conundrums. Sure the larger questions of whether we can sacrifice the few for the greater good, and whether people/States have the right to take away the lives of other are fairly universal, but other shows, books, and mangas have asked the same questions. What makes Death Note so good is that it is deeply grounded in a specific place and political context. It is a commentary on early 2000s Japan. It is specific, yet understandable across many contexts. It asks old questions in new ways, and therefore gives us the opportunity for new answers. 

Imagine if Death Note had actually been Americanized. Imagine a young Native American girl found the Death Note. She’s 15 and pregnant, because Native American women are one of the most vulnerable groups to sexual assault in the United States. She knows who her rapist is. His name. His face. Because it is so rarely a stranger. She also knows the names and the faces of the congress member and representatives who are trying to push an anti-abortion bill that would even rule out an exception for rape. She knows the names and faces of every cop that laughed her out of the police station, and the doctors that asked her what she was wearing before refusing to do a rape kit. Imagine if this girl found the Death Note. 

Imagine if Death Note had actually been Americanized. Imagine a young Black boy found the Death Note. He’s been stopped and frisked for the second time that day, and his best friend was shot 16 times two years before because apparently, a wallet looks just like a gun. He knows the shooter’s name and face, the cop didn’t even get fired and that’s why he was able to frisk our protagonist today. He knows the names and faces of teachers who would rather send their students to juvie rather than detention, or even talk to them. He knows the names and faces of the preachers talk about uplifting the spirit while only caring about uplifting their bank accounts. Imagine if this boy found the Death Note. 

Imagine if Death Note had actually been Americanized. Imagine a young Filipina girl found the Death Note. She’s the only one in her family with papers. ICE raids are becoming more common, but the masks and the shields keep them nearly anonymous. Faceless men take her mother, then her brother, and finally her father. She doesn’t know their names and faces, but she’s had glimpses of ICE vehicle numbers and a knack for hacking. She knows the president, though, stoking anti-immigrant sentiments. Imagine if this girl found the Death Note.

Imagine if Death Note had actually been Americanized. Imagine a young white boy found the Death Note. And his name is Dylan Roof, Adam Lanza, James Holmes, Elliot Rodger, Jared Loughner, or Charles Manson. A Shinigami meets 4chan, MRAs, and the “alt-right”; death god meets god-complex meets white male supremacy. We don’t need to imagine what happens if these boys find the Death Note. We already know, but it would still make damn good television.

If instead, all we get is Light Turner, depoliticised and decontextualized, just another white face on another Japanese story, what is the point?

Pain In The- (The One Who Worries Part 2)

Writer - @dammntwilightsaga

Requested - Yes.

This was good, could you possibly do a part 2 where the baby is born.  I’m curious to see how Paul would react. - @xoxoronanlynch

Disclaimer - I do not own any of The Twilight Saga’s characters and/or ideas all credit goes to the creator and producers of Twilight

Summary – Paul’s imprint, (Y/N), is officially overdue to have their baby but it finally decides it’s ready to be apart of the world and no one knows what to do.

Warning(s) - swearing, delivery of a newborn, mentions of breastfeeding (this really shouldn’t be a warning.), fluff, horribly written birthing scene lol


A/N - Request are open :)

Originally posted by leahlahote

Keep reading


Aaah gosh :’) sorry for being a little quiet with posts! Currently super busy with college stuff but here are some wips!
(Still gotta draw Shane hehe)

I’ll try to draw the girls soon so, watch out for that òuó)9

“Is Bruce in here?” Tim figured he might be— Bruce spent a lot of time in the children’s wing of Wayne Enterprises. There were a dozen or so kids in daycare most weekdays, and Bruce liked to hang out.

Tim liked to hang out too. They had nice snacks, and he’d known most of the kids since they were toddlers. And sometimes naps were mandatory.

“Conference call,” Damian told him. (For someone who claimed to hate naps, snackfood, kids, and humanity in general, Damian also spent a lot of time in the children’s wing.) “I don’t know where.” 

He went back to what he was doing, which was arranging a set of pewter soldiers into a complex model of a battlefield, presumably for the benefit of the preschooler sitting next to him. 

“What’s this?”

“The Battle of Issus, 333 BC.”

“Right, obviously.” Tim decided he was curious, so he settled down on the mats to watch.  Damian finished his model; he pulled a marker from the art table and used it as a pointer. 

“Okay. This is the Macedonian army, outnumbered but in the better tactical position, south of the Pinarus River. Their leader is Alexander the Great. And this—” He pointed to his enemy line. “—is the Achaemenid Empire. They’re about to lose.”

Damian tapped his marker on the Macedonian right. “This is the companion calvary, Alexander’s elite force, and they—” he cut off when he noticed his pupil digging in the toy bin, clearly distracted. The kid came up with a battered Transformer, which he set behind Damian’s lines. 

“Elliot. Alexander did not have robots.”

“But,” said Tim, rummaging through the box himself, “did he have wizards?” He pulled a bearded magician out of the tub and held it up for Damian to see. 

“You know he didn’t.”

Tim passed the wizard to Elliot. “But what if he did?”


“How would that go?”


“Abracadabra, Alexander!” Elliot yelled, gleefully smashing through Damian’s entire left flank.

“Damn it, Drake.” Damian sighed in frustration— not quite the rise Tim was hoping for, but still something. He dropped Elliot’s discarded robot back into the box.

“I don’t know what you were expecting,” Tim told him. “Elliot’s four. He’s too young for— what is this— military history?”

“He was doing fine before you showed up.” Damian started to re-erect his soldiers, but he gave it up after Elliot came in for a second pass. “Which is typical, isn’t it?”

“Good one.”

“Thank you.” Damian crossed his arms. “Fine. I’ll bite. When is he supposed to learn this kind of thing?”

“High school? Maybe never.”

“That can’t be right.”

“Have I ever lied to you?”

“Frequently.” Damian rolled his eyes. “I’m getting a second opinion.”

“I’ll wait.”

Damian checked the room for potential allies. “Thomas?” he called over his shoulder, “You learned military strategy as a kid, right?”

Duke looked up from the book he was reading to a pair of kindergardeners. “Just you, man.”

“Told you.” Tim fished a bag of plastic ninja from the toy box and arranged them pointedly into a row. “How are you still surprised by this kind of thing?”

Damian glared at him. “Okay, first of all? I’m not a— hold on a second. Elliot!”

Elliot froze with a large, plastic dinosaur held aloft over the battlefield. He drew it sheepishly back to his chest. “Sorry.”

“Not in the calvary wing,” Damian told him. “You’ll scare the horses.”

“Here?” Elliot pointed to the front of the phalanx.



“Aim for his center.” Damian turned back to Tim. “Anyway. Why are you still talking to me? I thought we had an agreement about unnecessary contact.”

Keep reading


Terribly sorry I haven’t written something for you guys in a while! Unfortunately, I hit a stump in my life and my motivation to write was a bit…off. But I hope you enjoy this!

Please let me know if there are any grammatical errors so I can fix them and make the story more immersive. I also welcome feeback, opinions, and ideas, so please feel free to message me, send an ask, or send a suggestion! Thank you! (Also, after a few questions, Iuop is not a gem from any TV shows! They are their own species! But I would like to leave their appearance to your imagination!)


(By the way, their name is pronouced ee-oh-p.)


• In all of their years of serving their Perud, their beloved ruler, they would never have thought themselves to be the ambassador, nor to be living on a death-planet with humans. •

The smaller infant male was tugging on Iuop’s hand as soon as they entered the house. It - or, as the humans preferred, “he” - seemed to completely ignore the warning Iuop had given his family (which was to not touch their surface), as well as the report they had written to their superior that they just barely grabbed before it could fall to the ground.

Iuop would have glared if it wasn’t so much of a human thing to do.

• Humans were disgusting, hideous creatures, that would surely become extinct in a few decades. It was absolutely amazing they had any form of advanced science and civilization at all. •

“I have told you not to touch my surface.” Iuop pulled their hand away, in a less rude way so as not to ‘harm’ the human. “What is it you want?”

“We’ve been waiting for you!” He shouted in his small infant voice. Iuop never quite understood why humans could never choose a volume and tone and keep it. “Come on! I wanna blow out my candles.”

In the most dense manner Iuop had ever witnessed, the human replaced it’s small, greasy hand upon their index and ring finger and began dragging them into the room where they ate.

“Waiting? What time-wasting activity do you people want me to-”

Iuop went silent.

• The only good things that came out of humans - well, no one would admit it, but… •

“Ah! There they are!” The adult male, the smaller’s producer, exclaimed in relief.

The room was decorated in colorful papers, some tied together spelling - ah, what was that word? Iuop’s English wasn’t amazing; perhaps ‘happy’ - ‘Happy Boothday’. Attached to the chair the child quickly sat in were two floating circular fabrics. Iuop wondered if the objects floated like the sky machines did.

“What…is this?” Iuop asked slowly, for fear of another daft human answer. They glared into the adult male’s eyes.

He raised one strip of hair above his eye higher than the other - a sign that Iuop couldn’t quite dechiper yet. “It’s a birthday party, of course.” Then, in a lower and heavier tone that startled Iuop, “You…know what a birthday is, don’t you?”

“Ah! I’ve got it! I’ve got it!” The adult female - the child’s other producer, why does it need two? - interrupted Iuop’s reply and dashed into the room, with quivering arms as she carried a large…rectangle. It was covered in a red pattern around the edge, with an image of the child and his animal companion in the center. Atop the image were the words Iuop kept seeing - ‘Happy Boo-’…erm, wait - 'Happy Birthday’.

“Honey, please, you’ll drop the cake.” The adult male chuckled, stepping forward to help the female lower the shape onto the flat wooden surface. The two set it in front of the child, whose eyes sparkled like a freshly cut diamond. He spread his mouth to display his small bones - a motion that, yet again, Iuop did not understand.

'Cake? Birthday?’ Iuop knew that humans were ridiculously confusing, but they’d handled it well thus far. Now they were feeling quite lost.

“Everyone! Cake time!” The female called into the house. Iuop listened in curiousity and fear as voices appeared and footsteps echoed. Suddenly, the small room was filling up with other humans. Iuop had to retreat into the corner to avoid being touched.

Then, the chatter of over a dozen humans was continued- although quieter - as the light in the room clicked off, and after a few intimidating moments, small specks of fire came to life on the rectangle. They illuminated the child’s face, as well as the human faces nearby. The red-orange glow shined weakly on Iuop’s pink surface, turning it a deep shade of orange.

They gazed at their surface in wonder; what a sight! They would have never suspected that light could dye!

“Quite home-y, isn’t it?” Iuop looked up and found themselves next to the adult male of the house. “Fire light is one of the wonders of the world in my opinion.”

“Fire light…you light your objects on fire?” Iuop’s voice was smaller than they wanted it to be.

“Well, yes.” The male watched the child shift in his seat. “Tell me, Iuop, you don’t know what a birthday is, do you?”

“I do not…”

“It’s when we celebrate the day we were born. Not just when humanity was made, no, we don’t know that. The day we as individuals were brought to life.” The tips of his mouth rose slightly, making him look calm and peaceful. “We use these days to signify how long we’ve been alive. They are also tradition, and we give the person gifts and trinkets to celebrate.”

“You…You…celebrate the years you haven’t died in?” Iuop asked in horror. “That’s the most depressing thing I’ve heard about humans.”

The male blinked. Then he laughed - a sound indicating joy. “I guess when you put it like that, it is kind of weird, huh? But that’s not the main reason. I believe the biggest reason for birthdays is to celebrate our own humanity.

“I mean, what’s truly special or important or symbolic about the day you came to life? Perhaps it’s important to yourself, but to others? No one should care. But we do. We congratulate each other on another year of growing, learning, and changing. No one is really the exact same person two years in a row. We all change in some way, and really the ability to adapt and grow is another factor of what makes us all human. So yeah, we like to celebrate another year of being human.”

Iuop couldn’t think of a reply. Their whole perspective had suddenly and irreversibly changed - they wanted to say the room was spinning, but it was instead completely still. They watched in silence as the whole room began giggling and chanting:

“Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday dear Teddie, happy birthday to you!”

All of the humans started clapping and cheering as the child - Teddie - puffed out a gust of air that doused the fires. There was more happy talking until one of the older children shouted, “What’d ya wish for Teddie?!”

Teddie giggled. “I wished that we could all be together forever!”

Everyone made an expressive noise and murmured, “How cute…” or “Such a sweetheart…” After that, they all collectively turned towards the meal-preparing room, laughing and chatting once again.

Iuop glanced towards the male next to him only to find him following the group. “Wait!” They shouted.

The male turned. “Yes Iuop? What can I do for you?”

“I…” Iuop clenched their hand, then unclenched it. “Would you remind me of your name?”

His eyes twinkled. “It’s Dr. Elliot Allen. But you may call me Elliot, or Eli if you prefer, I don’t mind. My wife’s name is Isla, and our son’s is Teddie. Do you want to meet everyone else in the distant family? They’ve all been talking about you and have wanted to say something, but we asked them not to talk with you for your sake. We can remove that rule if you’d like.”

Iuop took a deep breath, then, with a quick look into the room containing the smiling humans, they found themselves mimicing the male - Elliot’s mouth motion. Somehow it made them happy.

“Yes. I’d be delighted.”

Dr. Elliot repeated the happy motion. “Then follow me.”

The two walked down the hallway for a second in silence until, just before they entered the room, Dr. Elliot asked, “Iuop, may I ask you a personal question?”

“I suppose.”

“What exactly are you made of? I mean, it’s a gem of course, but what kind? Do you know?”

“Oh…I’m made of…ah, in English, I think it’s called 'kunzite’. The people from my sector are all made of pink gems. My generation was all kunzite gems.”

“Your sector?”

“Yes, all of my species is sorted into different sectors on our planet based on what color they are. I am from Sector…oh. Actually, the name doesn’t translate into English at all.”

“Does your planet have a form of leadership? Are certain sectors favored over others?”

“Well, each sector has its best qualites and its worst. My sector is best in…”

For the rest of the evening, though they wanted to meet the other humans, Dr. Elliot and Iuop discussed their planets. And it was some of the most best conversation Iuop had ever been in - completely worth the scolding from their superior after not turning in their report. But it was alright; they had some changes in the opinion of humans to make anyway…

• The best thing to come out of humanity is definitely their capability to share the traits and spirit of being 'human’. It’s what has made them some of the best allies for emotional planets, and it’s what has made them one of the best planets so far discovered. •

From Starbucks to where we are now (Elliot Alderson x Reader Smut)

Request: An imagine where reader (girls) is as socially awkward as Elliot and works at Starbucks. Elliot comes in one day and she notices him extra and then a few days after HE asks for her number but she says no but writes it on his cup. And then some relationship stuff and fluff, and maybe some smut at the end if you’d like.

A/N: I hope you like and enjoy this imagine, because I do! Leave your comments behind!

Word count : 2,032

“Next, please!“  You shouted and took care of the next customer in the line. Today was a very rough day at Starbucks. So many people came in and out and you barely had time to take a little break. Unfortunately, one of your co-workers fell ill so the whole work was waiting only for you and for another girl. It was pretty exhausting. You had to take orders and serve people at the same time, while your other co-worker prepared everything.

After a few hours, you were very tired and your feet began to hurt terribly. You took a look at your watch and noticed that only three hours had left for your end of work. Rolling your eyes, you pulled yourself together and continued your working.

As always, there were some jerks who tried to hit on you. You experienced such things every time at work. But you didn’t pay much attention, not even defend yourself. You were not the type of girl who socialized a lot. You were different. You rather spend some time alone instead of meeting people or going out. Besides, you barely had friends to hang out with and reject everybody who tried to spend some time with you. The only friend you had was Amanda, your co-worker. She was nice and funny. You could trust her.

Once you gave an old lady her order, a young man at your age stepped in front of you. You gave him slight smile. “What would you like to order?” He stared at the menu behind you, surveying it thoughtfully. Then his green-blue eyes gazed at yours. “What would you recommend?” His question took you off guard. Normally, you never got questions like this. Something told you that he was very different than other people, maybe even more different than you. Your eyes wandered at the black hoodie he was wearing. You always had a thing for hoodies in general. You almost had a collection of different colors of hoodies in your wardrobe. Admittedly, it suited him very well.

“Uhmm.. I would prefer Caramel Macchiato, sir.” You replied politely. His eyes still was fixed on you, which made you feel very uncomfortable. It felt like his eyes would pierce wholes through your body. “Caramel Macchiato it is then.” You wrote down his order as he took a place at the end of the room. You followed every single move he made, so mesmerized by this young man because you knew he was unusual. As he looked back, you instantly tore your eyes away from him and told Amanda to prepare his order so you could give it to him.

A few minutes later, you nervously walked to the young man of whom you did not even know his name. “Here you go!” You mumbled as you lay the cup of Caramel Macchiato on his table. “Thanks.” He said before you walked away with some strange feeling in your stomach.

It was not the only encounter with him. He would used to come every day from now on, always ordering the same drink and sitting at the same spot, while he used to tip something on his laptop. You wondered what he did.

Once in a while, he would stare at you, observing every move you did. You must say, you kind of liked his attention. He was very handsome and the most beautiful man you had ever seen in your life.

“Hey..” You heard someone mumble behind you. As you turned around, you saw him, clothed in his usual black hoodie you fell in love with. Sometimes you wished he would give it to you so you could add it to your collection. “Hey..” You answered. It was Sunday and the store wasn’t as much as full as it used to be. He handed you over some money. “The usual, please.” You nodded and started to prepare his order.

“C-can I have your number?” You almost got and heart attack and nearly dropped the whole macchiato on the floor. What was he asking? Your number?  “No!” You shook your head. How could you give him your number? You didn’t even know that guy. You turned around only to look at his sad facial expression. “What a pity..”  You thought about it. Maybe giving a try?

He wanted to grab the cup in your hand but you pulled it away from him. You sighed, grabbed a marker and noted your number on the plastic cup, which made him smile widely. After he went out of the store, you hoped inwardly not to regret the choice you made. And you didn’t.

Only a few hours later, he called you only to tell you that he wanted to meet you. And since you had no other plans for the week,  you agreed at his offer.

You spent your first “date” in his apartment. His name was Elliot Alderson, a very wonderful name, and he was working for AllSafe. As you suspected, he was pretty different. You found out he suffered from anxiety, depression, paranoia and delusions. Besides, being touched made him feel very uncomfortable but he made an exception when it came to you. He didn’t mind you touching or hugging him, no he felt better.

You always used to play with Flipper, because you loved dogs with your whole being. And Elliot loved watching you when you played with her. You told him about your hoodie collection, that you loved long walks, dark rooms and coffee. That’s why you also worked at Starbucks. The rest of the night you used to cuddle a lot, watching films on Netflix while eating Popcorn.

From that day on, you both were dating each other. He would take you out for long walks as you used to like and sometimes spent the whole night with you awake and surrounded by the dark, talking to you about different stuff. And you grew to love him every single day. He created feelings in you that nobody had before. He may be awkward or unusual but he was interesting too and you loved him.

It was a rainy day as you came back from work, paying Elliot a visit. Actually, you spent every day in his apartment, he even asked you if you’d like to move in with him. You clothes were wet from the rain because you were too silly to take an umbrella with you. All you wanted was taking a nice shower, wearing some of Elliot’s comfy clothes and cuddling with him on the sofa.

He greeted you with an amused smile as he opened the door, giving you soft kiss on your cheek. “Save your silly comments, El!” You warned him and entered the apartment. On your way to the bathroom, you took of your jacket and shoes, Elliot watching you. “I’m taking a shower, babe.” You told him. You were too busy with taking off your clothes so that you not noticed that you hadn’t locked up the door.

And of course, Elliot took the advantage of sneaking into the shower. He was waiting for this moment a long time. As you stepped under the shower and turned off the water, you were greeted with hot warm water, that instantly calmed your tensed muscles. You sighed contently, feeling the exhaustion washing away from your body.

Suddenly, two strong arms were wrapped around your waist and you flinched at the sudden contact. You were almost screaming if there wasn’t Elliot who held his hand over your mouth. “Shh.. baby.. It’s me. “He whispered seductively in your ear. “Elliot! What are you doing here?!” You hissed, as he pulled away his hand. “Wanted to shower with you. What else?” You slightly felt nervous because it was the first time he would ever see you naked. You were very self conscious about your body, and didn’t like it very much. “Elliot, please go out.” You pushed him away but it was useless since he was stronger than you. “No..!” He whined. “I want to shower with you!” You turned to him, looking lightly sad. “Elliot, please. I don’t want you to see me like this.” He stared at you confused. “Like what?”

“My body.” You gulped. “I don’t want to see you my body like this.” He pushed you against his well built chest, stroking your wet hair lovingly. “What’s wrong with your body?” He asked. You buried your face in the crook of his neck, kissing his tender flesh. “I don’t like my body, El. I feel fat.”

“That’s nonsense, (Y/N). You’re not fat. You’re perfect.” You smiled a little bit at his statement. “And besides, I don’t care what you’re look like. You’re beautiful to me. Inside and out.” You pressed your body against his, mumbling an “Thank you,Elliot.” He kissed your forehead. “May I show you how much I love you?” You exhaled nervously, knowing exactly what he meant. It was your first time and he would take your virginity in a bathroom. Not really the way you imagined your first time, but hey it could be very exciting. You nodded your head in determination. “You may..” You softly spoke.

Elliot pushed you carefully against the wall, his lips were pressed against yours, kissing you with hunger and lust. His hands were trailing all over your body, leaving shivers wherever he touched. As he nibbled on your neck, a low moan escaped your lips and you could feel yourself getting wet between your legs. Elliot found your sweet spot with no difficulty, sucked and licked the tender skin.

You wrapped your hands around his body, your nails digging into the skin of his back. He pressed you more against the wall, loving the way you made him feel. You could notice his erection against your stomach, biting your lip. “Jump.” Elliot panted and you did as he ordered, wrapping your legs around his waist. He continued to pleasure your neck until there was nothing more left than hickeys. Although they would be visible at work tomorrow, you could care less. You were too much into this moment and enjoyed Elliot’s amazing mouth on your neck.

One hand wrapped around your waist, his other hand trailed down to your sensitive area, his thumps teasing your clit. You rolled your eyes in pleasure, moaning out his name. “Elliot!” He continued to tease your entrance and later on inserted one finger into you, pumping his finger in a slowly and agonizing way. “Mhmm, Elliot.”

Elliot could get used to the sweet sounds you made because of him. He looked at you in admiration, how you bit your lower lip, trying to muffle your moans and how your eyes fluttered with lust. He couldn’t wait any longer and slowly slid himself into you. His already hard erection was filling you completely, stretching your walls. Deep and low moans escaped your lips and after Elliot gave you time to adjust to his size, he began to move. First very gentle and carful, later wild and passionate.

“(Y/N)!” Elliot groaned, pressing your foreheads together, losing himself in this intimate moment. Thrusting harder, he hit one spot you craved for the whole time, making you yelp. He kept thrusting  that spot, making you see the stars. Slowly, you felt something build up in your stomach and knew that your high was approaching. “I-I’m going t-to cum, El!” You panted. Elliot nodded his head. “I’m c-close too..”

You buried your face again in the crook of his neck, feeling your high coming closer and closer. Suddenly your walls clenched around Elliot’s member and you arched your back, screaming his name. Elliot rode you through your orgasm and after his thrust became sloppy, he came himself. You were on birth control, so you didn’t mind him releasing into you. You both took a moment to calm down from your highs. Elliot pecked your lips, sliding out of you. “I love you, (Y/N). It was beautiful.”

“I love you, too Elliot.” You responded. “And yeah, I agree with you. It was beyond beautiful.” You washed each other before you stepped out of the shower. From now you were definitely a fan of bathroom sex.

submitted by @baekhest: This is my softboy! His name is Elliot and he’s had that nickname since before I even discovered your blog. His hobbies include slinking around like a panther and attacking the tip of his own tail. Also he loves to be petted but does NOT like being picked up!

Better: Elliot x Reader

Originally posted by sessizbirtavir

A/N: Pre-warning, abusive/unhealthy relationship. Lots of language and some sexual references.

I HAVEN’T WRITTEN ELLIOT IN SO LONG MY BB<3 (Also I’m still iffy about this one shot so critique is welcome)

“Get the hell out before I do something I’ll regret!” I screech. Elliot grabs my wrist roughly, his eyes boring angrily into mine. I try to wrench my arm out of his grip, but he’s too strong. "Let go! I swear to god Elliot!“

I twist and thrash until his hold loosens enough for me to escape. I shove him hard in the direction of the door, the alcohol in our systems lengthens his reaction time and his back thumps against it and it makes an unpleasant noise.

It must have hurt. He charges towards me angrily. 
"Stay the fuck away from me!” He yells. I’m shocked by the sudden raise in his volume, Elliot rarely shouts. I raise a fist but he grabs onto it and flings me onto the ground. I’m too drunk to really feel it, but the action itself hurts me emotionally. Furious tears spill down my cheeks and I let out a scream of frustration. 

“I hate you!" I shriek. He freezes, glares at me, then spins on his heel and storms from the room.


Hey, hey mama said the way you move, 
Gonna make you sweat, gonna make you groove,
Ah, ah child the way you shake that thing,
Gonna make you burn, gonna make you sting.“

I smile sourly, I always loved this song, but it was poisoned by memories him. Taking a deep swig of my straight vodka that made the bartender wince, I let myself remember him. The drunken lap dances that would inevitably lead to sex, and bathing in the afterglow. God, I miss the feel of his strong arms. I miss his olive skin and the way his stubble scratched my thighs when he neglected shaving. I miss his voice.

It’s been about five years since I’ve seen him, so many things have changed, but not my feelings for him. No one can take his place in my heart. After the night I kicked him out, we’d had sporadic contact, tearful phone calls, opportunistic hook ups, and then… Nothing. We were so bad for each other, we drained each other in every way.

He was angry, he was vengeful. He had no time to love me, only time for revenge. He was scary, he was paranoid. He had no trust to give me.

I was angry, I was an adrenaline junkie. I couldn’t slow down to love him, only to drink my next shot. I was drunk, I was depressed. I had no happiness to share with him.

But we were in love with the idea that one day we could work.



“Ready, let’s roll onto something new,

Taking its toll then I’m leaving without you,

‘Cause heaven ain’t close in a place like this,

I said, oh, heaven ain’t close in a place like this,

Bring it back down, bring it back down tonight.”

I smile wryly at the memories we’d shared to this song. I wonder as I sip my drink where she might be right now, and why I’m sitting in a bar that plays The fucking Killers. Knowing her, she could be absolutely anywhere doing absolutely anything. She was so unpredictable. I wonder if that messed up eighteen-year-old I’d met seven years ago had grown up at all.

It’s been five years and two months since I’ve seen her, so many things have changed, but not my feelings for her. The times we saw each other before the complete loss of contact, we did what we did best, fucked each other mentally and physically. We were so fucking bad for each other, we bruised each other in every way.

She’ll be twenty three in a few weeks, I hit twenty nine roughly two months ago. She’s a real adult now, and… I’m getting old.

She could be dead, I’m surprised I’m not. I’m still hacking the human filth of the world, and she might be the only person that didn’t stab me in the back. 

I wonder if she’s still in love with the idea that one day, we might have worked.


I’m driving through Alexandria when I get the call. I hope to god it’s not my mom telling me I’ve forgotten something as I really can’t be bothered to drive back. The number isn’t saved but I answer anyway. 
“Hello? You’re saved in a man named Elliot Alderson’s phone as an emergency contact under the name zero, zero, one?”

I almost drop the phone in shock. 001 was the name Elliot had me saved in his phone in case any unsavoury characters got hold of the device and saw I was an emergency contact and… Yeah. I close my mouth that’s dropped open, and pull over. I’m shaking and I feel sick with nerves. 
“Uh, yes yes it is. Who’s calling?” I reply.

“This is Debra Richmond from Lower Manhattan Hospital.” She explains, my eyes are stinging, I swallow down a sob.
“I’m sorry, where is that and why are you calling me?" 
"You’re the only emergency contact we could find in his phone. He’s in bad shape.”

Jesus fucking Christ. It’s really him. My heart is hammering so hard I’m struggling to breathe evenly. 

“Is he alright? Well, obviously not he’s in fucki- hospital. Sorry. What’s happened?” I babble. I’d hate to know what this Debra Richmond must be thinking right now.

“He had an accident and has sustained a few broken bones and a concussion.” Debra tells me. “He was very stubborn about it, insisting that he didn’t need anyone to come and get him but we’re very concerned that he doesn’t have anyone to care for him.” She explains.

God, he hasn’t changed. My first thought is to refuse, I doubt he’d want to see me, but at the same time I’m worried.

He’s not like other people. He doesn’t have anyone to make sure he recovers properly, he has more enemies than Donald Trump. 
“I’ll be there, give me a few hours." 
"Thank you very much Miss…?”



I thought I felt sick in the car when they called about Elliot, but it doesn’t compare with the feeling of being about to collapse as I walk through the hallways of the hospital hours later. I hadn’t even stopped home after reaching New York. I approach the reception area of the E.R., a smiley woman greets me. 

“I’m here for Elliot Alderson?” I say, hating the feel of his name on my tongue.

Her face brightens even more. 
“My my, he’ll be glad to see you!” She exclaims, smiling warmly at me. 
“Oh, we’re not, we’re just, well… It’s complicated.” I stammer. She smirks, her eyes twinkling with mischief. 
“Don’t worry about labels sweetie, I’m sure he’s falling over his feet for you.”

I’m completely thrown. 

“Does he know I’m here?" 
"No, he’s had a hard few days so the doctors thought it’d be best he caught up on his rest.” She explains, but this only confuses me more. 
“I thought you said he was admitted last night?”

She waves me off, pointing down a hallway. 
“The doctors will explain everything. He’s in room 101, just down the hall to the left.”

I reluctantly nod, then head off in the specified direction. I rack my brains, what am I going to say? Will he even want me there once he wakes up and sees his tornado of an ex-girlfriend? I know I wouldn’t.

Thanks to my brainstorming, I reach the room far sooner than I’d like. The room has no window, only a rectangular one on the door, but I can only see the end of the bed through it.

I take deep breaths, tense and un-tense my muscles, then realise none of this is doing anything for how fucking scared I feel. I want to say I’ve faced worse, but Elliot Alderson hurt me more than any of the other shit life threw at me.

I open the door, and see him lying on the bed, his leg elevated and wrapped in a cast.

His face is littered with bruises and his facial hair is the most outgrown than I’ve ever seen it, his long eyelashes still scrape the tops of his cheekbones and his skin is still a gorgeous olive tone. He’s still painfully gorgeous.

I step slowly over to him and reach out a hand to touch his shoulder, hesitating momentarily. I shake him lightly, jumping at the spark I feel when I touch him. His eyelids flutter, then drag open. He mutters unintelligibly before waking up properly, I could laugh if I weren’t so nervous.

His eyes open wide when he doesn’t receive a response, I looks up at me and his expression becomes unreadable. Which is pretty normal for him.

“I forgot you’re still 001.” He sighs. 
“If it helps, you’re still my 001.” I practically whisper.

His eyes close and a pained smile stretches across his features. 
“Christ, you’re not eighteen anymore." 
"I think I’ve aged alright.” I joke. 
“I can’t even look at you.” He murmurs.

My hand drops from his shoulder and the uncomfortable lump rises in my throat. Does he hate me that much? 
“You’re so beautiful.” He says, I nearly choke. He stares at the wall, I shift on my feet, unsettled by the entire situation. “Y/N.” He says blankly, seemingly testing out my name.

He turns his head to look at me properly, I feel so uncomfortable as his eyes travel up and down my form. 
“Listen Elliot, if you don’t want me here I can leave, but please don’t be alone while you’re this vulnerable.” I reason with him, unable to hide the desperation in my voice.

“I’m shocked you care." 
"I’m sorry, what?" 
"You hate me." 
"If I hated you, I wouldn’t have driven seven hours the second they called me you massive bag of dicks.”

He smiles weakly, and I see wrinkles in the corners of his eyes. He’s a year off thirty but the stress of his lifestyle seems to be hitting him hard. 

“Potty mouthed as ever." 
"Minus the actual pot now though.” I add and he actually laughs. He gestures to the seat next to his bed and I take a seat.

I suck in a breath.
“I’ve missed you.” His eyebrows raise. “Really." 
"I’ve missed you too.” He admits. I feel less stiff now it’s out in the open. 

“We need to get you out of here. Since your real names in the system, dick move by the way, you still have a lot of enemies, if not more.” I say.

He groans. 
“No such thing as a break." 
"Oh there is, and you’ll be on it until that leg gets better.” I tell him, my tone firm. 
“I guess I can’t run away from you now." He deadpans.
"Fuck you.”


It was weird at first, waking up in that little apartment again. Making Elliot breakfast, cleaning the place, helping him dress and… Bathe. But I could never have foreseen the way we simply erased the time we’d lost together. We were so much more mature, our issues pushed to the backs of our minds.

There were no screaming matches, only arguments about Elliot refusing to eat when I try to cook him balanced meals.

There were no physical altercations, only gentle shoves and playful punches. There were no insults, only teasing comments and compliments in disguise. There was no hurt, only a love that was finally able to flourish the way it should have five years ago.

The U-turn my life had taken was crazier than any three AM adventure I’d ever embarked on. I was living in an apartment nursing the love of my life and his broken bones. I took him to physiotherapy and tried to bat off Debra’s constant questions about whether or not we were together yet. Somewhere along the line I stopped sleeping on the couch and falling asleep with an inch between myself and Elliot then waking up tangled in his limbs.

And it eventually reached a point where he was no longer wearing a cast and could do everything himself. But we were in a difficult situation. Of course there were times when he allowed or initiated unnecessary physical contact and our eyes connected, the very same memories and thoughts of reviving them passing between us. Of course there were kisses when we’d be half awake in the warmth of the duvet. The love was still there, but no words were spoken about it.

Until tonight.

We’re sitting on the couch, watching trash TV on the tiny set. I glance over at Elliot, who has a small smile on his face, clearly entertained by the shitty acting. I nudge him slightly and he looks down at me curiously. 
“What are we doing?” I say experimentally, not quite sure how to start the conversation that needs to be had.

“We can watch something else if you-”
“That’s not what I mean.” I interrupt, and his features shift. I’m pretty certain he knows what I’m talking about. “You’re better. Pretty much.” He still doesn’t reply, just stares at me. “Are you… Are we going back to before or-”

“Y/N, this conversation doesn’t need to be any more uncomfortable than it already is.” He cuts in, I can’t say I’m not shocked, Elliot is virtually never this straightforward.

“I can’t take you leaving again.” He finishes, his voice barely reaching my ears. But I see the flicker of desperation in his eyes.

“I won’t.” I say firmly, and he squeezes my hand in his cold one. 
“Thank you.” He whispers, staring intently at the screen. We’re silent for a while, until he speaks again, still avoiding my gaze.

“I never stopped.” I know why he won’t finish the sentence, because he’s scared. I know because I’m scared too. 
“Neither did I.” I guess we’ll never work like other people, but we’re better, and that’s all that matters.

William Nylander - Part 14

37953 words later, this story comes to a close as well! Thank you to everyone again for being so lovely and supportive and willing to read my garbage! And for everyone who didn’t get annoyed at my very irregular posting schedule… that’s my bad. I have another story I’m working on now, but I’m not sure when I will start posting it but it’s heavily influenced by the fanfic someone wrote to me that I reblogged earlier so if you want a sneak peek, then there it is! 

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