and here's the edit for anyone who wants to reblog it and not the set

why some teens believe everything the light of their internet-capable device touches is their kingdom

(‘what about that shadowy place over there?’

‘that’s pornhub, simba. you must never go there.’)

we all see plenty of posts about how adults on the internet need to remember that ‘kids’ (read: teens) are around and we must bear that in mind. and these posts are not entirely without merit. It’s important to keep conversations being held with teens carefully teen-friendly and appropriately distant. but the entirety of tumblr and twitter aren’t designed to cater to the safety of minors, and all the adult self-policing in the world won’t make all the kid-unfriendly content go away.

not all teens believe the internet should have gutter bumpers for them, either. but those that do have mystified me for a while … until I started to understand just how pervasive ‘helicopter parenting’ is in parts of American (and UK) culture, and how that affects the adolescents and young adults of today.

anonymous asked:

a thing worth noting re anyone who pulls the ‘you can’t blacklist on mobile, minors can still see it’ thing to say even tagged content isn’t okay: even if washboard didn’t exist, the tumblr app is rated 17/18+ in app stores. if people under that age get on the app and see things they shouldn’t, that’s on them and their parents/guardians, because they shouldn’t actually have been using the app in the first place.

agreed.

Honestly, though, the argument has moved past this in some ways. It’s not so much about whether or not teenagers are allowed to see this thing or that thing; it’s a well-known fact that most teenagers will break rules if it suits them and they can get away with it, and internet time is a prime space wherein they can do so.

What’s happened is that some adolescents - teens with parents that are overly protective and crowd their schedules with supervised activities, usually - have been taught by their life experience that:

  • all adults in their vicinity are there to protect them. and no wonder: the large majority of their contact with adults will have been as supervisors. Teachers, teacher assistants, instructors, daycare employees, and coaches are all adults who are paid to watch their activity and will be held responsible for the teen’s wellbeing by their guardians. when have they ever spent time with adults who aren’t in charge of making sure they’re safe?
  • any space they are in will be designed and maintained with their safety and comfort in mind (no matter how they obtained access). all spaces they enter are specifically meant to revolve around them: schools, sports, playgrounds, etc. The few occasions that they have to enter spaces not meant specifically for them (stores, etc) they are closely watched by adults and any harm they experience will be blamed on adults as a result.
  • if they can get access, it must be a space that’s safe for them. Having spent very little of their lives unsupervised, they have always been actively prevented from entering spaces that are not meant for them. They’ve never had to learn to set boundaries for themselves, so they naturally reason that if a boundary is not actively enforced, it must actually be a space they’re meant to enter.
  • they are not responsible for themselves. adults around them are responsible for them. if they come to harm, it’s because an adult wasn’t doing their job properly.

for teens of this mindset, ‘18+ ONLY’ warnings are merely a suggestion. Nobody is stopping them, after all, and it has never been their job to stop themselves. and if they can get access, the space is now theirs - because all spaces they are in are theirs. they couldn’t get there unless it was meant for them; that’s how it works, right?

This is why some teens are utterly flabbergasted by the idea that adults on the internet want to interact with fellow adults on an adult level in a space the teen can access. They’re here! That means the space is specifically meant to cater to them! The adults are automatically tasked with their safety! If teens do get into trouble, it’s because the adults weren’t responsible enough! that’s how this has always worked.

And when adults say ‘no, I do not take responsibility for your actions, the internet is full of things that may frighten or harm you and you must set your own boundaries,’ it’s distressing and scary all at once.

(no wonder so many people in their late teens/early 20′s want to still be considered as children.)

EDIT (10/9/2017, 4 days after originally posting): if you’re seeing this post in its original form, I hope you’ll read some of the excellent reblogs disagreeing with it. I think that this post kind of misses the point, which is: some of it may be emotionally invaded teens, but some is just that teens who grew up around this kind of behavior from their parents and adults have learned that they can use their minor status as a kind of power play and thus stand up to demand coddling in fandom spaces.

the culprit that I still maintain is the heart of the problem is the structure of sites like tumblr and twitter, which knocked down all barriers and moderation in fandom and made fandom feel chaotic and uncontrollable. we’re all looking for ways to control our experience in an environment of this kind; some find it by demanding others change what they produce, and others do it by curating what what they see of the production of others. this post doesn’t reflect that well, however, and I apologize for talking down to teenagers who have the agency to think for themselves no matter how their parents behaved. 

5

Here we have it - the Ego Collection! I discovered I actually started working on it on the 3rd of July by some crazy coincidence. But nearly a whole month later and I finally have drawn all of Jack’s egos.

I just want to say a ramble-y thank you. This entire self-imposed project has been awesome in general, despite the struggles of art. A bunch of people have said such nice things, which I am very grateful for, and the kind people are one the reasons I’m so glad I found this community. And I’ve said it before but I’ll say it again I have had an absolute blast with Septicart week. It’s amazing to see all this incredible art, edits and writing, even music, come out of this community, as well as the supportive people liking, reblogging, commenting and just encouraging others. You guys make me super happy and want to keep creating cool stuff!

Also, thanks to Sean for not only spreading a positive influence but also interacting with us. You help keep the place a nice, fun environment and doing awesome stuff, like with the egos and setting the community on fire, makes it even better! Huge kudos to Robin for your incredible editing. I know you work hard, especially with the Anti stuff, and I don’t know where the channel would be without you. And a nod to the lovely lady behind the scenes, Signe, a wonderful creator in her own right. Plus, thanks to anyone who helps to make this community such a great place. Love ya :D

@therealjacksepticeye @pixlpit​​ @wiishu

on draco malfoy's patronus being a thestral

I AM HERE TO ANSWER YOUR CALLS thestral may seem like a badass / very strange choice of a patronus for draco but I am here to explain WHY I think it should be draco’s patronus!!! I’d love to hear your thoughts / have people elaborate on my thoughts so feel free to!

First off, I feel like a lot of people brush off the idea of him having a thestral patronus because heck, why should draco malfoy of all people have a mythical creature? But that’s one of the reasons why i love it. We all know that draco would absolutely LOVE having a mythical patronus ( you know, being special ) but I stand strongly behind the idea that the ONE mythical patronus he would have never wanted is a thestral.

A patronus is suppose to be a representation of yourself, and why the hell would he like it if he had patronus that reminds him of the war? of him being a death eater? of what he had to do and what it ended up causing? it’s an irony i love to indulge in & think about. Rather than being stuck up and proud i personally think draco would have wished for anything else. I’m pretty sure draco would be the type who would pull a disgusted face if he saw a thestral rather than be happy by it. He wouldn’t want to show this patronus off. Like, can you imagine? Pansy pestering him to show her, “wow i bet it’s a fucking ferret, isn’t it”, and when she actually sees it everything goes to shit because of fucking course, draco malfoy out of all people would have a thestral patronus, that even the embodiement of his happiest memory and his soul would link back to the horrors of the war and what he’s done.

Thestrals as you all know are considered to be dangerous, omens of misfortune and only visible to those who have seen death. They are quite literally representative of death. It spells out /evil/ and /bad/ no matter how you look at how the world portrays them.

This is where I’m grateful for Luna Lovegood. We’ve all seen a different side to the thestrals in the films, with Luna stating that “they’re quite gentle, really, but people tend to avoid them because they’re a bit…different.” Thestrals externally look ghostly, grim with them being dark & skeletal all the way through ( this could be another reason why draco = thestral but i’m not making that connection LOL ) if we place in on a canon timeline, the only place where draco would /really/ be trying to conjure a patronus would be after the war, and keeping that in mind it makes a lot of sense. It’s not a big stretch to say that post-war draco became an image of the war, with him being a death eater. His past haunts him, with people only seeing into his image of a death eater without acknowledging him trying his best to redeem himself.

The whole idea of a thestral being a creature that is representive of death & misfortune but also having the ability to be a person’s patronus, basically the opposite of what a thestral is known for, is SUCH a good way of describing draco. The image of post-war draco malfoy is like the image of a thestral in a flowerfield, they stand out too much for their setting of peace despite them not doing anything but being themselves. People fear/hate thestrals and they can’t help it, just as people can’t help but slap “death eater” on draco.

BUT! despite their external appearances thestrals are gentle, extremely loyal…and cutting away at the war and everything else we know draco is loyal. He is so loyal to his family, and even if its /bad/ he wouldn’t hesitate to defend them even if it’s by taunting / mocking the person. He loves them, and this goes both ways - maybe it’s him being prideful of his blood heritage because of how he was raised, or maybe he truly really loves his family ( which i definitely think he goddamn does ). Thestrals can be representative of both, they are attracted to the smell of blood but will also become aggressive if they view someone as a threat to themselves, their friends or even their owner.

It makes sense that draco’s patronus would be a gentle, misunderstood being who sometimes does the wrong thing out of love, or fear, but for a reason that isn’t purely “ because i wanted to”. I just really like the idea of a thestral both symbolising draco’s deeper, hidden parts that he’s too scared to show to the world while also simultaneously being able to represent his life and what he experiences.

I also do think it’ll be a nice way to make draco get over the horrors of war and let go of his past and just live. Draco coming to terms with him having a thestral patronus would practically be him coming to terms with who he is and the mistakes he’s made.

And just to add onto everything above : draco was owner of the elder wand at a point ( thestral hair core ), and thinking about when he was the owner and what was happening at the time, i think everything works out nicely.

All in all i just think thestral is a really clever choice for draco, and clever just so happens to work perfectly for him.

EDIT: ALL THIS AND I FORGOT TO EVEN MENTION THE FACT THAT THESTRALS ARE CLEVER

Hello hello its Abi! I figured I’d attempt an advice post! I’ve only been a studyblr for a little over 2 months, so I know it can be quite intimidating when you first join the studyblr community when you see all these blogs that look so amazing and you wonder, how can I ever get my blog to look like that? Obviously there’s no proper way to have a studyblr, and you should always stay true to who you are, but I figured I’d make a post giving some tips on how to start a studyblr! (everything is under the cut)

Keep reading

ARC contest (+ a new teaser)

It’s been wildly busy, in the best possible way, and I hope to have some really exciting news soon. I don’t yet. But I hope soon. But for now: 

My publisher sent me four ARCs of The Becoming of Noah Shaw. This is exciting and scary—it’s been five years since I’ve had ARCs for a book, and three years between the ending of Mara’s origin story and the beginning of Noah’s…hero journey, let’s call it. If you’ve stuck with my characters for the length of three books, I can’t thank you enough. I wouldn’t be here without you, and I’ve been thinking for months about ways I can thank you for that. I’m still working that out—I owe you all a monumental debt, and figuring out how to repay it isn’t easy. But there is one small thing I can do first, right now, which is to try and make your wait for The Becoming of Noah Shaw a bit shorter. 

Since this is a series that I wrote as much for fans of the Mara Dyer trilogy as I did for myself, I decided against giving ARCs away randomly—I want to make sure they go to readers who are as excited about reading the book early as I am about sharing it. If that’s you, here’s what you’ve got to do:

Make something. Create. I’ve got four ARCs to give away, so it seems right that there should be four ways to win it:

1) Make MADNESS art. Draw something inspired by Mara. By Noah. By Jamie or Daniel or anyone or anything in the series. Paint something, sculpt something, draw a cartoon, a comic, graphic design (edits count!), typography–photography counts too! I love bookstagram and the staging of book-related photos, so it would be splendid to see entries like that. You can also do multiples (like comic panels, or anything considered part of one series), to count as one entry.

2) Write something series-inspired. A poem, a short little story (500 words, max), an excerpt of your fanfic; something set in the Dyerverse. (Keep it rated PG-13 to a soft R, though, because my baby brother is probably going to end up judging some of the entries and…awkward).

3) Film something. A fanvid, a trailer, a short film, movie, or even just a video of yourself talking about the books, Booktube-styles. Making videos is hard, but that probably means there will be a less crowded field! 

4) Rando! Make a dress out of the pages of one of the books (someone did that once and it was super rad). Make a fannish thingie (creating headers, Tumblr themes, fan mixes, fan sites and communities) get your cosplay on, make some jewellery, show off your fresh MADNESS-related tattoo—really, anything goes (except nudity. Not that).

Here’s how you enter:

You post your entry or a link to your entry via the ‘submit post’ option on Tumblr, or the Ask option, or, if it’s an image or a video, you can post the link to such in the Ask box or, if you feel so inspired, on Twitter. My goal is to honour your hard work by retweeting/reblogging what you send, and then that way, everyone will be able to appreciate your stuff. Just be sure to let me know which category you’re entering in, and don’t post your email address or address-address—I won’t need it unless you win, and since there is SUCH TALENT in this fandom, there will be first/second/third place winners. First place is the signed ARC; second is a signed chapter sampler with the first three chapters (and a handpicked teaser from me); third place is secret snippet of a secret thing that I won’t be sending to anyone but you.

The contest will end on 8/21 and the judging will take place that week, so about two and a half months before the book comes out. If you enter, consider that an agreement not to post spoilers if you win. “KJJGBLJSBGTR^&%E$RDT” and “WTAF????!!!!” posts are cool, though.

Also: this contest IS international. Anyone can enter. And since entries will be posted publicly, and I very much want this to be a fan-led endeavour, likes, shares, RTs, comments and such will be one factor (not the only factor) in judging. I love pretty much every MD thing I see, so it feels fairer to let fans have a say in the winners to make sure I’m not paralysed by indecision.

One super last thing, for real: the ARCs are uncorrected proofs. So uncorrected that there is in fact a chapter missing, which had to be supplemented at the very last minute. I also changed a lot—like, a LOT—between the time the draft was submitted and when it went to magical ARC printing place. This is all to say: if you don’t win one, don’t worry—the final version is the version I meant for everyone to read.

Also, here’s a new snippet/teaser under the jump. 

Keep reading

Join us for a simblr holiday celebration!

From December 1st to the 31st (New Year’s Eve) we’re gonna be connecting a network of simblrs who are wanting to spread some holiday cheer!

What is it? Well, we were basing it around an advent calendar. So for every day (or week, or every 10 days, whatever works for you!) You’ll give a small gift to your followers, free of charge, without having to worry about an exchange or anything of that sort! Gifts can range from CC, to a recolor, a sim or build, or even just a festive edit or story. Use your imagination!

When? We’re gonna go from the first of December to the 31st. While advents traditionally count down to christmas, not everyone celebrates christmas, so we wanted to go until the 31st to set off a great start to the new year, and hopefully a great year for the simblr community. 

Where will this take place? Here on the official simblr advent tumblr, and in the tag #simblradvent !

Who will be doing this? Anyone who wants to! Builders, cc makers, recolorists, sim makers, edit makers. Vanilla, Berry, Alpha, Maxis Match, Sims 1-4. Absolutely anyone is welcome! There’s no pressure to take part, but if you do, join our network!

How do I join? Send us a message asking us to add your url to our blogroll of simblrs so you can be found! We’ll also be reblogging some of our favorites to this blog. 

Blog under construction, so bear with us!

Fandom event etiquette

Suggestions for both organizers and participants for a smooth and fun experience

Events are some of the most fun things in fandom. They bring people together for a common project, foster a great sense of community, and produce lots of amazing content for the fandom. As long as they’re run responsibly. As people who are quite active in the fandom events scene for the Voltron fandom a few things have been brought to our attention recently and we’d like to address them. Sheer event volume, poor management, and disorganized events are starting to turn people off from signing up/participating, and it’s really upsetting to see these things that are supposed to be fun turning into sources of stress and anxiety instead

Please know that this isn’t about pointing fingers at any single event or individual, rather this is advice we’d like to share based on our experience as both event organizers and participants. We welcome comments and further discussion, but if you’d like to add to this post please don’t namedrop any people or events. Don’t turn this post into a call-out, that’s not what it’s about. Finally, this post is written specifically about the Voltron fandom, but I’m sure it could apply to pretty much any fandom, so anyone who finds it useful feel free to reblog!

- @ace-pidge​ and @bosstoaster


Organizers

  • Check the state of the fandom before starting a new event. This is absolutely crucial. For the Voltron fandom, I maintain an entire set of calendars with the schedules of all ongoing and upcoming events, please take advantage of it. Your idea is probably super cool! But if there are already a couple dozen other projects going on it may be wise to hold off on it. If you’re worried about someone else coming along and stealing your idea, you can make a blog/post to signal your intent to run your event in the future, and wait a while for things to calm down a bit before actually running it. I’ve been getting many messages from people saying they feel burnt out or overwhelmed with the sheer number of events, and that’s not a situation anyone wants. [Edit (14/09): After hearing the thoughts of a Zine mod on this topic I now find this next statement unfair and in poor taste, as it lowkey implies (falsely) that Zine mods don’t know what they’re doing. I’ll leave my original comments in for posterity, but let it be known that really at this point my issue with Zines is more instances of lackluster management rather than Zine volume in itself. This is especially worrying for Zines, because actual money is involved. The market has been flooded with Zines over the summer, which results in fewer people buying them overall. Fandom people aren’t made of money, and it’s important to consider this when planning a Zine]     
  • Make sure you’re able to commit entirely to the project, both time-wise and mentally/physically. Fandom events are BIG JOBS, especially the ones that span several months like Big Bangs and Zines. But even smaller events like Weeks or Exchanges require a certain amount of work put into them. That’s months of advertising, of making posts, of answering questions, of sorting people out and keeping tabs on them, of troubleshooting. Look at your school/work situation not just in the near future but also several months down the line: will you have the time to dedicate to this. Look at why you’re doing this event: are you just doing it because you want in on the fun. Look at your mental/physical health situation: will you have the capacity to see this through. If you know that given your history there’s a possibility something might happen that will prevent you from keeping on top of the project (like a depressive episode or a hospitalization) make sure to account for that (for example bring on a team of mods who will be able to carry on without you should you need to step back for a while)       
    • Make sure your fellow mods are up to the task. Smaller events can be comfortably run by a single person, but bigger events like Zines and Big Bangs really should be run by at least 2 people, if not a team of 3-5*. This will ensure the workload is shared and there’s less chance of burning out before the project reaches completion. And they must all be people who are equally invested in the project. Having 1 very enthusiastic mod and 2 wishy-washy tag-along mods is a recipe for a project to fall apart     
    • If your friend is asking you to co-mod an event with them and you’re not sure you can/want to commit to it, say no! Don’t feel like you have to accept just because it’s your friend asking. It’s better to be upfront and honest than to start something you won’t be able to finish
  • The above goes DOUBLE if you plan to run more than 1 event at a time. I’m not here to say you can’t run more than 1 event at the same time, but if you plan to do that you better make EXTRA sure you have the time and resources to commit to all of them
  • Get advice from someone who has run this kind of event in the past, especially if it’s your first time as an organizer. Talking to someone who has gone through this already will likely prove invaluable for running a smooth event and dealing with problems that may arise. Look through the notes on this post if you need to find someone to contact     
  • Communication is key, be transparent! It is extremely important to stay in contact with your participants. This will both remind them that the event is ongoing (you’d be surprised how often people sign up for something then forget about it entirely) and show that you are responsible and on top of things. Also, don’t forget about your public page. With most events having dedicated Discord servers these days, it’s easy to forget about updating the event blog/Twitter page. Putting up a post every now and then to update the public on the event’s progress lets people know it’s not dead and keeps their interest up while your participants work behind the scenes
    • Stay on schedule, and if you can’t, let people know. Be clear and upfront about the event’s timeline and the different milestones, and if you can’t keep to the schedule say so. People will generally be very understanding. If you’re dealing with a Real Life situation, or if there are circumstances outside your control like printing/manufacturing delays on a Zine, tell your participants and your audience. This will avoid people getting disgruntled and frustrated and bitter because they feel left in the dark     
    • If for whatever reason you can no longer see the project through, tell people instead of just disappearing off the face of the Earth. It’s really upsetting from a participant’s perspective to be left with no news for weeks or months on end without a clue what happened to the event. Sometimes things come up or stuff happens, it’s understandable, but if that’s the case you need to let people know. It may be very upsetting to make that post, but trust me, people will appreciate the knowing     
  • Be VERY CAREFUL if you’re going to be handling money (as with Zines for example). Handling people’s money is a huge responsibility. If you’re going to be taking money you have to make sure you’re able to deliver on what you promised. The absolute worst time for a project to stall out is after preorders and before products are shipped out. If your project stalls at this stage and you don’t keep your buyers appraised of the situation you may get accused of scamming people or people may start demanding refunds, which is a mess no one wants to deal with     
  • Don’t air your dirty laundry publicly. We get it, sometimes running an event is frustrating. Participants drop out, or disappear and can’t be contacted, or butt heads with you or each other. Don’t complain about it anywhere public; know that stuff you say will reflect on you as an organizer as well as on your event. Vent to friends or on private accounts if you must, but you want to appear professional and in control in public. If you appear messy, your event will also appear messy, and it may make people think twice about staying in it or participating in stuff you do in the future 
    • Related: Try and keep your tone upbeat and positive and professional in your promo posts and answers to questions, even if you’re answering the same question for the umpteenth time. Giving off a frustrated or negative vibe may turn people off your event    
  •  If you’re a minor who wants to run an event make sure it’s appropriate for your age. Honestly, kudos to you if you’re 15-17 and running (or helping to run) an event, it’s great that you’re so involved! But for the love of all things good don’t get involved in an event where NSFW content is likely to appear. No amount of “I’m mature enough” or “I act older” constitutes a valid excuse, and you’re putting your (adult) participants in a very dangerous situation if you do that. ESPECIALLY if they don’t know you’re underage

*This isn’t to say you can’t run a bigger event if you’re alone, because people can and have done it and quite successfully at that. But in that case you must be absolutely all in


Participants

  • When you sign up for something, take the commitment seriously. Only sign up for things you know you’ll have the time/energy to deliver on, and do your best to do it
    • Stay on task. Keep to the schedule on your own, don’t make the organizers run after you
    • If you need an extension, ask for it, and don’t wait for the last minute. Sometimes you just need those few extra days or that week to complete your piece. Very often organizers will be understanding if you approach them asking for an extension, but don’t wait till the deadline to do so. Ask for the extension the moment you realize you’ll need extra time. Also ask even if you’re not 100% sure you’ll need it. Better to get the extension but still hand your stuff in on time than to show up the day of the deadline with an incomplete work and asking for more time. In the event that the organizers can’t give you an extension, either sort yourself out to have your stuff done on time or drop out of the event
    • If you need to drop out, do it sooner rather than later. Sometimes things come up, or your muse goes on vacation, or something else happens that’ll make you unable to participate. That’s ok! It happens to everyone. But in that case, tell the organizers ASAP so they can readjust their plans around you. Don’t just disappear off the face of the Earth without letting them know what your status is
  • Pace yourself. I know it’s tempting to sign up for everything. But the more you’re in the more strain you put on yourself, and the more likely you are to cause a domino effect if something goes wrong
  • Don’t air your dirty laundry publicly. If you have an issue with another participant or the organizer(s), or the way the event is being managed, or whatever else, take it up privately first. If it can’t be resolved, maybe just quietly drop out of the event and go on your way 

HI EVERYONE !! 👋 
we are delighted to announce: it’s finally time for BROTZLY WEEK ! bless u all for being so patient while we set this up and for sticking with us through the reschedule, we’re ready to kick off on monday!!!!!!

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THE DAYS:

  • day 1 (june 12)   /   ‘FIRST’ (date? kiss? something else? up to you..)
  • day 2 (june 13)   /   ‘JACKET’
  • day 3 (june 14)   /   HEADCANONS
  • day 4 (june 15)   /   ‘LAUGH’
  • day 5 (june 16)   /   ‘ANGST’
  • day 6 (june 17)   /   AUs
  • day 7 (june 18)   /   ‘A HUNCH’
  • ⭐ BONUS DAY (june 19)   /   CREATOR’S CHOICE

a big thanku to everyone who sent in ideas for prompts!!! 
we’d also like to add: if ur sad your prompt idea wasn’t picked, feel free to send another ask, we’re putting together a big list of them for anyone who isn’t sure what to pick for bonus day 💛 

how do i make sure you see my stuff?: 
we track #brotzlyweek + #brotzly week !!! but if you’re worried it won’t get seen or want to make sure, you can feel free to @ us in the post!

what am i allowed to make?:
anything!!! we accept all art, fanfic, edits, gifsets, fanvids, meta posts, cosplay pics, mixes, and anything else !!!
we’d also like to state: while adult content is allowed, we will not be reblogging it here due to the number of minors in our fandom. please remember to tag it and keep this a safe space for our younger fans

do i have to use the prompts?:
nope!! the main purpose of the prompts is to give our fandom’s lovely artists+writers ideas!! ur welcome to interpret them as loosely as you want or to disregard them entirely!! if you have a fic you just finished or some art that doesn’t fit a theme it’s still absoluely allowed!

rules:
1) don’t repost other people’s artwork or generally be a dick
2) if you make something graphic or nsfw, remember to tag appropriately!!
please keep the fandom safe and friendly for everyone!

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ANY OTHER QUESTIONS? FEEL FREE TO SEND US AN ASK 🤗
(-mod @dirksbf/@benjibattle)

STARTER MASTERLIST: SHIT PEOPLE ON MY AIM HAVE SAID.

I know some people suck at coming up with starters in group roleplays, and I’m pretty sure a lot of people stopped making masterposts, but I’m going to go ahead and make one anyway. Here’s a masterlist of things my aim contacts have posted/said, divided into gif chat starters and text message starters. Some of them have been edited slightly to apply to more than just one person, and they can work for different characters. Please like/reblog if you plan on using any of these.

Keep reading

Applying to the @nctwriters network

To find out more about this blog, please look at our about page and check out the member page.

Side note: anyone can use the #nctwriters tag (in their first 5 tags) or tag us in one of your posts if you wish to have it reblogged!

Applications are currently open!

Requirements:

  • Need to be a writing blog or a blog who publishes some form of writing - no set amount needed, but it is asked how often you post in the application
  • Need to be an active blog (hiatus is fine though)
  • Blogs who post smut or not are both allowed
  • Users who wish to start a writing blog, and want help, can join but please sign up with your new blog rather than your “normal”
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anonymous asked:

So could you please tell me what your definition of rape culture is and how captain swan isn't the definition of it. Getting real tired of people claiming this relationship is. Have some of these people even been in relationships before? I just find it amusing that the majority of the audience doesn't see a problem but then we have a few certain fans who claim CS is an exact definition of rape culture.

Oh honey… you don’t know what you just brought out… 6533 word analysis of this problem right here. I’m not throwing this under a read more because everyone needs to see it and understand what the fuck rape culture actually is outside of tumblr and wikipedia bullshit.

——-

Rape culture as it was defined by my WST 313 professor at Arizona State University a woman who earned her PhD in women’s studies. is a culture in which sexual violence and rape are common. This is pernicious in nature by the attitudes, norms, practices, and media condone, normalize, excuse or encourage sexual violence. It includes:

  • Dehumanization of femininity – calling people “sissy”, “pussy”, “not a real man”, etc.
  • Disrespectful of diverse gender roles
  • Commodification of persons as solely a sexual object
  • Humor that normalizes, trivializes or tolerates rape or sexual violence
    • This includes rape jokes, pedophilia jokes, etc
    • This does not include generalized sexual humor such as…
      • That’s what she/he said jokes
      • Sexual innuendo about a consensual sexual situation between two potential partners
      • Sexual humor that makes you uncomfortable.

I underlined and bolded two common complaints used in the argument against Captain Swan in the rape culture argument. Note how the two that are underlined fall within the “does not include”. This means that sexual innuendo between consensual potential partners and generalized sexual humor that makes you uncomfortable do NOT fall under the guise of rape culture.

Furthermore Everyday Feminism – an online feminist magazine discusses examples at length.

1. A university in Canada that allows the following student orientation chant: “Y is for your sister. O is for oh-so-tight. U is for underage. N is for no consent. G is for grab that ass.”
2. Pop music that tells women “you know you want it” because of these “blurred lines” (of consent).
3. A judge who sentenced only 30 days in jail to a 50-year-old man who raped a 14-year-old girl (who later committed suicide), and defended that the girl was “older than her chronological age.”
4. Mothers who blame girls for posting sexy selfies and leading their sons into sin, instead of talking with their sons about their responsibility for their own sexual expression.
5. Photo memes like this:

Yes someone actually doctored this girl’s account of her rape.

6. Supporting athletes who are charged with rape and calling their victims career-destroyers.
7. Companies that create decals of a woman bound and gagged in order to “promote their business.”
8. People who believe that girls “allow themselves to be raped.”
9. Journalists who substitute the word “sex” for “rape” – as if they’re the same thing.
10. Politicians distinguishing “legitimate rape” and stating that rape is “something that God intended to happen,” among other horrendous claims.
11. Calling college students who have the courage to report their rapes liars.
12. The ubiquity of street harassment – and how victims are told that they’re “overreacting” when they call it out.
13. Victims not being taken seriously when they report rapes to their university campuses.
14. Rape jokes – and people who defend them.
15. Sexual assault prevention education programs that focus on women being told to take measures to prevent rape instead of men being told not to rape.
16. The victimization of hospital patients, especially people with mental health issues and the elderly,  by the very people who are there to protect them.
17. Reddit threads with titles like “You just have to make sure she’s dead” when linking to the story of a 13-year-old girl in Pakistan being raped and buried alive.
18. Reddit threads dedicated to men causing women pain during sex (I’m not going to give the thread credence by linking to it).
19. Twitter hashtags that support accused rapists and blame victims.
20. Publicly defending celebrities accused of rape just because they’re celebrities and ignoring or denouncing what the victim has to say.
21. Assuming that false reporting for sexual assault cases are the norm, when in reality, they’re only 2-8%, which is on par with grand theft auto.
22. Only 3% of rapists ever serving a day in jail.
23. Women feeling less safe walking the streets at night than men do.
24. 1-in-5 women and 1-in-71 men having reported experiencing rape.
25. The fact that we have to condition ourselves not to use violent language in our everyday conversations

From this article here: http://everydayfeminism.com/2014/03/examples-of-rape-culture/

The list can go on, there are some more examples, but they fall generally under the one of those headings for the most part. I did not cite Geek Feminism wikia due to the inherent factual errors within Wikis in general. This is due to the ability for people to edit posts without administrative approval or actual due diligence fact checking.

It does not say that drinking between two people negates consent. Beer goggles does make it harder to make an informed decision – however many people make decisions when drunk – often ones like one night stands that are entirely consensual, or driving while illegal the person was still able to make the conscious decision to drive. Rape and sexual violence involves the negation of one party’s decision. If a person is conscious at any time they can consent and conversely revoke consent. The issue with drinking is when people get drunk to the point of unconsciousness and the other person does not seek consent of their sexual actions.  If a woman or man says no, and their partner persists in this moment to the point of forcing a sexual act that is sexual violence. This does not mean, that the other party may not seek sexual contact at a later time if the man or woman is consenting. 

CS is usually taken out of context and used to meet the ends of the arguer’s means. Meaning the arguer has a biased agenda for their ship and against Hook as a hater. I actually had one reblog a post trying to provoke a fight by using the argument to “troll me”. I love all the characters on OUAT. I don’t really have a favorite but if I had to choose it’d be Emma. I like Hook as a character, but I like Rumple, Regina, Zelena, Pan, Charming, Snow, Ruby, Whale, etc, all just the same. I am able to set aside the fact that I support CS to analyze this argument within the context of the show. I also set aside my support of all canon romantic pairings too. I support the canon of the show, however, in this analysis I have put that aside and sat down to write this tonight in an objective and clear manner.  If anyone disagrees, that’s your opinion and well opinions are like assholes – everyone has them and no one really wants to see them either.

As a degree, carrying Journalist and a scientist this is my objective non-biased in context analysis and it’s already quite lengthy.

Now CS is often regarded by a particular subset of shippers as promoting rape culture. This is simply untrue. With a character like Emma, body language is a large tell of her inner mental state since she’s not one to over-share her emotions.

In Tallahassee, when Emma grabs Hook to protect him from the trip wire, he makes the statement “It’s about bloody time,” laughingly and wraps his arms around her. Emma responds as shoves him off and sets him back on track to the mission at hand. She doesn’t take more than a step back to separate them. When he fixes her jacket she regards him with uncertainty in her facial features. She doesn’t trust him. That’s what we’re supposed to get from that interaction. When she orders him to go first he takes her lead. He also doesn’t make anymore innuendo about them for the rest of the episode. Thus Killian has taken her shove as a rejection but he senses, and rightly so, the attraction between them. 

Eddy Kitsis has even been quoted as saying – in the Frozen Over special that Emma was attracted to Hook from the moment they met, but that frightened her because that meant she might want to let someone in. With Emma, loving someone means opening up yourself to be hurt emotionally by that person. It happened with Neal, Walsh and countless other men we’ve only had allusions to.

Back to the episode…Hook does challenge Emma to trust him with “Try something new, darling, it’s called trust”.  He also states, that she’s “Brilliant, Amazing” because she alone, was successful in getting the compass while he was trapped under the rocks. This does not disrespect diverse gender roles it celebrates the crushing of the gender binary within gender roles of television partnerships past. In fact Killian often follows Emma’s lead in various situations offering advice and support if she seems to be at a point where she needs it. Emma responds later with shackling him to the post, she’s not ready to trust him, but her statement is entirely telling.

“I can’t take the chance I’m wrong about you,” she stated. This means at objective face value that she wanted to trust him, to take this man she just met at his word that he would swear fealty to them if they got him to Storybrooke first. It frightened her that she wanted to trust someone so quickly as evidenced by the stone cold fear in her eyes.

When we see them together next it is Emma’s comeuppance for abandoning him on the beanstalk. He realigned with Cora, taking Aurora’s heart in the process (so not going to cheer for him for that move, it was a dick move period). He tells her that he wouldn’t have done as she did to him had she not previously left him in a precarious situation with a giant who hated humans (he didn’t know about the deal she made with Anton), unarmed and physically restrained. His “dead, useless. Much like you,” statement is a jab at her coldly abandoning him when he’d given her in his mind no reason to distrust him since he confessed about the compass and his identity. Have you ever said something hurtful to someone when you feel betrayed? Does this mean you are committing a rape culture crime? No it isn’t because a comment like that meant to be hurtful to one person does not dehumanize it is meant for humiliation. There have been arguments that it falls under the “pussy” or “sissy” dehumanization of femininity but not once does Hook call Emma’s femininity into question. He speaks to her as an a person not a “she”. His statement to her “You would have done the same,” was “Actually, no.”

He then speaks in anger and says he is done with her, he is hurtful and angry with his wording. This does not demean or dehumanize a gender on the whole. This is meant to show his anger at her and his hurt for her distrust. He feels emotionally wronged by her and Killian is all about an eye for an eye so he doles out verbal vitriol and leaves her locked in Rumple’s cell in Snow/Charming’s castle.

The very next scene between them is the one often most cited as the “rape culture epicenter of CS”. This is because of a sword fight and a spoken sexual innuendo.

Killian, with Emma knocked down on her back, holding her sword up to defend herself, he states, “Normally I prefer to do more enjoyable activities with a woman on her back. With my life on the line, you’ve left me no choice. A bit of advice? When I jab you with my sword you’ll feel it.”

Let’s dissect this short monologue.

“Normally I prefer to do more enjoyable activities with a woman on her back.” By itself it’s stating that he prefers having sex to violence. He’s stating that he dislikes violence. I don’t know about you but I prefer sex to violence too. I’d rather be in a consensual sexual situation than fisticuffs any day. So how is that rape culture? How is that normalizing, trivializing sexualized violence? It’s simple to answer these questions – It’s not. He’s stating that he would rather bed a woman than fight her pure and simple. This is not a nonconsensual act. This is not him saying I prefer rape to violence because that doesn’t work. Replacing the term rape for sex as many in that subset of shippers do (which the interchanging of rape and sex is epitomizing rape culture, way to go BAs your argument makes you the bad guy here), makes the sentence nonsensical because rape is violence. That’s literally saying I prefer violence to violence. It makes the statement nonsense.

“With my life on the line, you’ve left me no choice,” he’s stating that she’s fighting him, physically and that he doesn’t want to. He feels like his life is on the line. He doesn’t know she isn’t well trained in swordfight. He doesn’t know her much from what perceptions he got of her on the Beanstalk. He is saying with the last two statements combined – I’d much rather we acted on this weird sexual tension we have going on than beat the crap out of each other. He is saying he doesn’t want to fight her but he has to because if he turns now, Cora will kill him. His life is on the line literally. Emma could get a good swing in and she does with her fist later, but she has a deadly weapon she’s wielding. He is also fearful of Cora. That was established earlier with “You lot are far safer company” when speaking about why he’d turn on Cora.

“A bit of advice? When I jab you with my sword you’ll feel it,” this is often the most hotly contested part of the line. When he says this he’s making both a sword and phallus reference.  Merriam Webster defines jab as “to push something sharp or hard or suddenly into or toward someone or something”. This can be a poke to the arm. This could be the physical act of sexual penetration. This could be done quickly or suddenly. Consensual sex can be quick or sudden. The physical act of penetration is a jab at it’s most ineloquent of definitions. This is Hook saying, again he’d much rather bed Emma than fight her, but that she’s left him no choice but to have to fight her. Thus if given the choice of options sex or swordfight with Emma on the opposite side, he’d choose sex. This means Emma would have to give him that option, she would be volunteering consent. This is taking his words at face value and how you can use synonyms to reword it to mean the same thing. He’s not sexualizing violence. He’s showing a clear distinction in his opinion between the two that sex in its enjoyable forms is far preferable to that of violence.

If you again replace “jab” with rape the sentences no longer make sense. “You’ve left me no choice….When I rape you with my sword you’ll feel it”. The act of sex removes one party’s choice not both. If you choose to see Hook as the aggressor in this situation how could this be a rape reference when Emma and Cora have removed Killian’s choice in the matter. He wishes not to fight Emma, but must on pain of death from Cora, or accidental impalement from Emma’s sword. Emma’s forced to fight him because of Cora. She has to fight him to get the compass because Cora is watching. If she wasn’t there, based on his previous actions, Killian would have made a deal with Emma and Snow instead of fighting and left Cora in the EF.

Thus you can now see this line at face value is not meant to be triggering. It’s trash talk during a fight. It’s a yo-mama so fat kind of childish diatribe. It does not promote, trivialize, normalize or tolerate a nonconsensual violent sexual act.

For his bravado that statement, though laced with sexual innuendo, does not engender the definition of rape culture. Just because you personally find his comment to be uncouth and immoral does not make it rape culture. Because you are uncomfortable does not make it rape culture.

Hook is a villain in S2. He does villainous things. Belle entered his ship of her own free will armed. Killian confronted her and got into her personal space to make her uncomfortable, to see what kind of person she is. Was she brave? Or was she, like her boyfriend, a coward. He calls her out on the half truths Rumple told her. Yes Milah left him and became Killian’s lover. But Rumple leaves out crucial details such as why Milah left. She couldn’t take the public ridicule of being the wife of a military deserter. In the United States if you go AWOL as a member of the armed forces, you’re court marshalled and jailed not to mention the intense public scrutiny you and everyone you know will have to carry with them. The fact that Rumple was able to be free even though he deserted is a rather large show of mercy from that kingdom. Milah bore the brunt of the public scrutiny and she wasn’t even the one who had deserted. Rumple’s profession is in the home as a spinner a solitary profession where he didn’t have to witness the depth of his cowardess the way Milah did. Milah worked in a tavern and was subject to constant ridicule as the wife of the town coward. Her job – inherently social – meant she had to deal with people like that on the daily with a smile even though she’d like to punch them in the face. This went on for years as he deserted when Bae was born and Milah left him when Bae was about 5-10years old. Rumple also left out the part where he took and crushed the heart of his ex wife merely because she stated she never loved him. He didn’t take her heart out of some noble attempt to right her wrong for abandoning Baelfire. He let her live after her statement of regret. But it was only after she stated she never loved him that he took her heart and crushed it to punish her for not loving him. Belle proved herself to be brave, not backing down and disarming and getting away from him in a matter of moments. Belle takes Rumple’s side in the argument because she loves him and sees the best in him, and disregards the dark. This is one of Belle’s more naïve moments that when presented with an atrocity she disregards it for what she sees within under the layers of darkness.

When Hook begs Rumple for death, he says its so he can finally be with Milah after centuries of being apart. Rumple further punishes him by following Belle’s wishes to not kill him though he much greatly desires to. Then to hurt him for keeping him away from Milah again, he decides to remove Belle from him, but not by forcing her to leave. He does so by using physics. He shoots her in the shoulder. S3 taught us Killian’s a crack shot. Meaning he’s got the same amount of skill as a trained officer of the navy would. He shot her in the shoulder. Your heart is just beneath your sternum anatomically speaking. He shot her near her clavicle (collar bone).  If he really wanted to kill her there are much bigger arteries and vessels in the medial part of her back, especially in the medial thoracic region called the mediastinum including the heart, major vessels and the lungs. He shot her in the shoulder and she fell across the town line removing her memories. He wanted to be cruel to Rumple by having his true love physically present but not remember him. This action is villainous and violent. It is not sexual and therefore cannot be construed as rape culture.

The next major interaction we see between Emma and Hook is in the hospital when he’s just waking up from being hit by a car. He asks Emma if “There is another appendage she’d prefer,”. Again he’s making sexual innuendo but he doesn’t do it with a disregard to Emma’s choice. He says blatantly “if you wish it, climb on, I don’t care if I have cracked ribs and am on massive pain killers, you’re pretty and if you’re willing then yes please sign me up.” He’s blatantly asking for Emma’s choice even in his jest. She shoots him down by redirecting him to the task at hand – Cora’s location. She’s disappointed in him and he stops the innuendo with her push back. 

Also Hook interacts with Regina telling her he’s been tied up in bed (handcuffed by Emma), “and not in a good way”. Good, consensual sex can involve things like bondage, handcuffs and the like. Don’t think so? Ask the BDSM community how huge consent is in a playroom scene. And don’t you dare try to throw Fifty Shades of Grey at me because that is a piss poor example of the beauty in BDSM relationships and epitomizes the negative stereotypes of the lifestyle. As a person who has a really good friend who’s a Domme I take offense if anyone tries to pull that one on me. So this statement again, at face value is not sexualizing violence. It is sexualizing handcuffs, which have been proven through the BDSM community to be sexual tools as well as lawful restraints.

Hook’s interaction with Archie where he tries to “torture” and I use that term loosely, Archie into talking and giving information on Regina and the town to Cora and himself. We see in a later episode when Belle rescues him as being without much of a scratch. Killian threatened to cause him real physical harm, yet none came to him.

In S3 I’m only going to comment on the two arcs on the whole. This thing is getting to be huge already. Throughout S3 Killian makes it abundantly clear that he is interested in Emma. He tells her in lots of round a bout ways to flirt and gauge her reactions. This is how a 300 year old pirate would court someone. In society – in actual human face-to-face potential romantic interaction, a man or woman will flirt with modern versions sayings like “I quite fancy you from time to time when you’re not yelling at me,” a modern version of this would be like “You’re cute when you’re angry”.

In Neal’s cave, he tries the sincere route. The commiseration of shared experiences way to get to know her. Yes he’s romantically intrigued by her, but he genuinely likes her on a personable level too and wants to know her. People who dehumanize femininity, make rape jokes, commodify a gender as a sexual object, and are disrespectful of nontraditional gender roles do not genuinely seek to know a person they wish to view as a sexual object, dehumanize, or disrespect their gender role. Killian wishes to know her behind that wall of hers. If he saw her solely as a sexual object as the true definition of rape culture would state that he does, why would he care to know her? Why would he open up himself about knowing what its like to lose hope if he didn’t care about her experiences too? The answer is—-he wouldn’t.

Emma, in true Emma fashion throws up her wall and says “save it I’m not in the mood” and walks away. To which he promptly drops the subject and moves on.

When he asks “Just who are you, Swan?”  he is expressing genuine interest in her as a person. He doesn’t say “what” he says “who”. He recognizes her as a person that he feels is worth knowing.

Emma challenges back with a flirtatious “Wouldn’t you like to know,”

He responds with, “Perhaps I would”. He’s telling her that yes he’d very much like to know who she is as a person. She intrigues him on a deeper level. He knows she’s smart, strategic, capable and level headed in a rough situation. He’s seen that in their experiences. He wants to know the Emma she keeps hidden away. He sees her through that wall and wants to extend a hand and say “hey it’s okay, I’ve been there too”. 

After saving David’s life, Killian ASKS for a kiss. He asks for it. He doesn’t demand it. He asks for it and even challenges her with “is that all your father’s life is worth to you” and “perhaps you’re the one who couldn’t handle it”. He waits for Emma to make the decision to kiss him. If he were a rapist and truly embodying rape culture he would have forced himself on her in this moment. They’re alone, in a jungle. Everyone is out of earshot. He could have tried if he was indeed a rapist. Yet he didn’t. He laid out what he wanted as a reward for a good deed like a kid after getting straight A’s and let her decide if she wanted to give it to him. How is that epitomizing sexual violence if he lets the other party consent and make the first move? Answer – it’s not.

The echo cave was Killian’s confession to save his old friend – Emma’s first big love who broke her heart. He was doing the honorable thing. Admitting his deepest secret because he never wanted or thought he could move on from loving and losing Milah. Yet meeting Emma changed that for him. He doesn’t say, now you have to be with me because I professed my love for you. No, he gives her space and lets her do her thing as she needs.

The next time they speak about his intentions towards her is after Dark Hollow. He tells her that he will win her heart without tricks, games or lies. He blatantly says win. As in he has to be awarded her love that he has to earn it from her. That is not someone who thinks he just deserves her love. He says he will win it because he’s confident. He knows there’s attraction between them. She chose to kiss him. If she didn’t find him attractive, or want to kiss him you better believe sister-friend would not have kissed him. She even told MM that she wanted to, that she was feeling good and it had been awhile since she’d kissed someone. That does not say she didn’t want him. That does not say she feels uncomfortable around him or 100% rejects him.

Adam and Eddy both said that Emma feels something for Hook, but something is always in the way, a big bad, Neal, getting out of Neverland, a new curse, a kiss curse, etc.

The BAs of the ship in question and Hook haters in general seem to epitomize rape culture themselves. For they are disregarding Emma’s consent in all of this. Emma has yes pushed Killian away emotionally because of canonically established fear of being hurt by those she cares for. By disregarding Emma’s choice to kiss Hook, in both Good Form, Kansas, There’s No Place Like Home, and A Tale of Two Sisters they are saying Emma’s choice doesn’t matter. That the fact that she is a consenting adult and has initiated all of their kisses, save but one means nothing because they erroneously think Hook embodies rape culture. He doesn’t those shippers and haters do because of their choice to disregard Emma’s choice in the situation.

The one kiss that is considered rape culture by these so-called fans of OUAT, is one Killian thought would be a TLK. Rumple was going try it with Belle when she lost her memories. Charming tried it with Snow when she lost hers. Yet I often don’t hear those two parallels mentioned when the haters/BA shippers make their argument. Rape culture is about normalizing and accepting rape, by saying it’s tolerable, and no consequences should come of it through actions on a show. Yet when Killian attempted TLK on Emma who did not know him at that moment, nor want to kiss him, she reacted by kneeing him in the groin. This scene cannot contribute to rape culture because it shows a clear and decisive consequence to something that was nonconsensual. Rape culture again, I will reiterate, is about showing that rape is acceptable, normal, and without consequence. This scene shows a direct consequence to Killian’s attempted TLK – he got kicked to the groin and then subsequently arrested later in the same episode.

In the forest, he tells her that its okay to get your heart broken because that means its still capable of love. He’s lifting her up and giving her hope that she can love again after being hurt by Walsh. He’s supporting her emotionally. If anything that’s humanizing and quite powerful. He did not say that he’s glad she got her heart broken because she didn’t love him. No. Just stop that argument now. You can’t take his statement and take out the most crucial part of his explanation. Emma almost went there with her interpretation too and he was quick to correct her that he meant that he was glad because having a broken heart means you still maintain your capacity to love.  That humanizes femininity and openly says hey having emotions is okay which is the exact opposite of the first bullet point under rape culture at the top of the article. 

When he flirts at the docks about wanting to get close to him and using Henry as a ruse to do so, he’s deflecting after a difficult conversation with Smee. He sees an opportunity and takes the chance to flirt with Emma. Emma again redirects him to the conversation at hand and he drops the subject, not pressing any further.

The fact that when Killian does something Emma doesn’t like or doesn’t want and she tells him so through words and actions, his response is that he backs off and changes course immediately, which shows that he cannot and will not – be inconsiderate her choice in all things in their relationship. That does not fall in line with the true definition of rape culture as outlined at the beginning of this article.

One last scene that’s become hotly debated is the tavern scene in the 2hr S3 finale. Killian says “you’re trying to get me drunk, which is usually my tactic”. Did he say it was just when he was going to bed someone? No. He said it open ended. It could be interpreted many other ways. At face value however, it is talking about how he seeks companionship. Many barmaids would certainly line up without any need for alcohol because he is sexually attractive and charming. However, Killian doesn’t see himself this way. He sees himself as vile, a villain who doesn’t deserve love or anything good because of what he’s become especially at that point in the timeline. He seeks his two vices, rum and women to drown his pain. The women at his table when Emma walks up are rather happy to be there. In fact the brunette stares at Emma with a blank almost disdainful expression because Emma is horning in on her territory. Killian drinks as much if not more than his female companions due prior to their consensual romps.

How do I know it’s consensual… take a look at what Killian says, “I do hope you’re not having second thoughts”. He says hope. He doesn’t want her to reconsider having a tryst with him but at the same time knows that it is her choice to say yes or not. At face value he’s giving her an out. He doesn’t say it with a shred of ominousness to his tone or foreboding. He says it softly almost like a whisper to a lover, because to him at that point she was a potential lover. His tone also helps discern his meaning. If he said it with a sneer or malicious edge to it then that would be a signal to run. But he doesn’t. He says it softly to where I almost had to strain and turn up the volume to hear the line correctly!

If she said “you know this isn’t the best idea” he might have tried to use gentle persuasion or charm to get her to say why but in the end he would have let her go. And if he tried to force himself on her, which he did not, he would have passed out in a few minutes anyways because boy drank that entire bottle of rum almost completely on his own. I don’t know about you, I am 28 and a seasoned bar hopper from my early twenties and can hold my own with drinking games and the like – Killian was about 45 seconds to 2 minutes from passing out dead drunk. There is no way he would have the physical wear-with-all to be able to force a tipsy/slightly drunk Emma into submission even if he had wanted to which he clearly stated he did not with a simple “I hope you’re not having second thoughts.” It means again he’s taking her choice, her consent into consideration, which is the opposite of rape culture.

Then at the end of the finale, Emma chose to kiss the daylights out of him because she was genuinely touched that he thought so much of her that he would sacrifice his home, to see her again, to bring her to her family and save her from not existing because of Zelena’s plan. He didn’t know about Zelena’s plan but he knew her family and she was in trouble thanks to Neal’s message. He knew he had to get to her because he knew how devastated she would be if her family were harmed. He went to her, and tried to bring her back to her family only asking for a thank you in return in the forest that day. He never asked for anything more. He didn’t want to tell her how he got to her. That he gave up the one thing he prized most – his ship – just to see her face again. The fact that he hid the truth about his ship from her is extremely telling from a writers view point. He’s pursuing her romantically throughout S3 – minus the short standing back to let Neal try to repair things so Emma could make a fully informed choice between the two. He openly bragged about saving her from marrying a flying monkey, yet he hid how he did it. He’s not ashamed of it, hell he’s rather proud of what he did but at the same time he knows what it means if he tells her. If he tells her he gave up his ship for her it’s as good as saying I love you and that scares him. Additionally he doesn’t want his sacrifice to make her feel beholden to him for it. He doesn’t want her love out of obligation. He doesn’t go “look at all I’ve done for you, you give me what I want”. That would be rape culture. The fact he hid it and let her ask the question before answering her honestly without request of reward shows me that he wants Emma yes, but he will wait for her to get there on her own terms and not his. That is the exact opposite of rape culture. Rape culture would dictate that he demands sexual reward for his deeds. Even when he asked for a kiss in Good Form he never demanded it or anything else. He asked, and then let her make the decision. Again exact opposite of rape culture outlined above.

Lastly, in the S4 premier when calls Emma out on avoiding him, at first she’s reticent and reluctant to admit it. She doesn’t know how to juggle emotions and being the savior. He reminds her just as Charming did that she has to find the moments to enjoy herself and her life or she may miss out on it entirely. It’s the same argument Charming made in S3. But somehow it’s rape culture when Hook says it. He’s not saying she must pay attention to him. He’s telling her that she doesn’t have to be the savior 24/7 that he’s willing to bear the brunt of responsibility with her at her side, as an equal to which he backs up with action by running headlong into the fray with her. He leaves the decision up to her. Again it’s the complete opposite of rape culture.

She delays the issue again, sidetracking it by saying she needs to do something and he says okay, go do it but please don’t lie to me about not avoiding me. He confronts her behavior and her earlier lie. He pulls the truth from her in pieces that yes she’s avoiding him. He perceives then it’s not just Regina. He knows she’s been hurt in the past. He’s putting the pieces together that she’s scared of getting hurt again. When he perceives correctly that there’s something deeper, he gets kissed. She doesn’t run away or say “I’m not in the mood”. She chooses to kiss him and he doesn’t even kiss her back until her lips touch his. He stands rock still until he’s sure that she’s not reconsidering and then throws himself into it and backs away when he realizes she’s pulling back.

She tells him with the kiss that she wants this, whatever it is between them. She tells him with words that she needs time. “Be patient” is not a rejection, it’s a request. It’s saying “You’re right it is something else, but I need time to come to terms with what that something is and you need to sit tight til I do.”

Again he’s letting her lead this relationship. He’s following her consent. He’s laid his cards out on the table and is letting her play hers close to the chest. He does tell her that while he will be patient and wait for her, that he hopes it’s not forever. His snark about “if a monster doesn’t kill me first” is a quip about the freaky world they live in. Monsters and magic are a daily occurrence for them and he is basically saying yes I’ll be patient, but please don’t string me along, if you want this then work with me, if you don’t, then tell me so I can move on. He’s trying to establish open, equal and honest communication with her. How is that dehumanizing her femininity, or commodifying her solely as a sexual object, or disrespecting her gender role or disregarding her consent in all of this. Answer – it’s not. Just by looking at his actions in context and at face value he’s letting her lead the progression of their relationship. He’s letting her define the labels and roles they play. That my friend is the opposite of rape culture.

So in my long winded argument I hope I’ve illustrated that the rape culture argument is tired, inherently fallacious and promotes the people who argue for it as proponents themselves of rape culture without even realizing it. So it’s time to stop.

References

WST 313 Women and Sexuality course at Arizona State University scholarly article readings and lecture PowerPoints

http://everydayfeminism.com/2014/03/examples-of-rape-culture/

Merriam Webster Dictionary

OUAT Episodes

I hope this answers your question in an in-context media analysis.

anonymous asked:

how do you world build? i have all these ideas but i dont know how to translate them into writing.

Hi Anon! There are many approaches to worldbuilding and a lot of them are messy and lead to you working hard on things you don’t end up using, some still are a little simplistic for my taste so I often mix it up. Note: This is just how I do it and not the only way to do it. I avoid writing pages and pages of text on the minutia of life in my world but I don’t restrict things to the rule of threes either, I like my setting with a bit more meat on it. My four stage of world building are under the cut. Looooongnpost warning!

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bleebug prompt/CS au masterlist [edit 4/30/17]

okie dokie shipmates, since I keep making these things and everyone is left wondering if someone is gonna write the thing, I decided to make a masterlist to help you sweet goobers out 😚   (for the writers: if you want me to @ you after the au prompt you’re writing so i can direct others to your page, please let me know!!)

✅  = someone has come to me and said they wanna write the thing
❓  = i’m not sure if someone is writing the thing
🚫  = i don’t think anyone is writing the thing
💩  = i will write the thing (eventually)
🍾  = someone has written the thing!!

CS aus

Celebrity Assistant!Killian/ Celebrity!Emma au where Killian does literally everything for Emma 🚫 

​College CS au where relationship-virgin Emma asks romantic-at-heart Killian for dating advice and he instead offers his services as her “dating trial-run”  🚫 

Coworkers CS au prompt where Emma vows to abstain from sex for a year right before she gets a new partner, Killian Jones  ✅  by @idristardis

Neighbors CS au where Emma is a nurse and Killian is her definitely-faking-it hypochondriac neighbor who uses illnesses and injuries as an excuse to talk to her.  🍾  >>>  You Make Me Better by @ilovemesomekillianjones

Enchanted Forest CS au where Princess Emma is a guest aboard Captain Silver’s ship when Killian and Liam are both still indentured servants  ✅  by @imhookedonaswan

Modern CS au where Emma works for the Innocence Project and Killian is her new client, imprisoned for allegedly killing his ex-girlfriend  ❓  (someone might be writing this but i don’t know who)

Celebrity CS au where Emma is an actress and Killian is a musician and they are secretly dating but fans keep finding every little thing that would hint at their relationship  🍾   >>>  let’s just be us part I / part II / part III by @cutieodonoghue   &  ✅  (another writer is also doing the thing)

Captain Charming/CS au where Charming and Emma go through the wardrobe together and he raises her for the first decade but then gets whisked away to Neverland without her  ✅ 

The Mummy CS au where Emma is the gun-toting American with foul manners and Killian is the smart but naïve librarian/Egyptologist who hires Emma to take him to Hamunaptra  💩   (coughs and directs you to my gift for lena)

Modern CS au where Emma works at a beauty salon, Killian comes in to get his chest waxed for the first time at the urging of some friends who want to set him up with another woman  🍾   >>> Can’t Strip it Away by @hollyethecurious

Prompt lists

Pet-related prompts and another one here (not sure if any have been done)

Random prompts  (some of these have been written: One – Two – Six , and i’m not sure about the rest of them)

I’ll edit this list and rebleeb when new stuff gets added or if writers tell me they’ve changed their minds. :))  I will tag the newest edit on a reblog with “#most recent masterlist” so hopefully it’ll be easy to tell. 

Kabby Halloween Fun Is Back!

Happy fall, Kabby fans! 

All your Halloween art and fic was so much fun last year that I decided we needed to do it again! This year, instead of pairing people up for an exchange, we’ll just be doing a week of Kabby prompts for anyone to participate in, with the theme of Halloween AU’s!  Historical, modern, movies, TV, and even a whole day dedicated to the Harry Potter ‘verse!  (P.S. if you have a canon idea you want to try out, don’t fret!  The 31st is “dealer’s choice”, so throw all the rules out the window.)

You can make anything you want (fic, art, edits, gifsets, mixes, fanvids, you name it) for as many of the days as you please!  Just post on the day and be sure to add the tag #Kabby Halloween and @kabby-holiday-fun so we can reblog everything!

All this info can be found here.  Go forth and be spooky!


October 25: Modern AU – Fall Fun! 
Abby loves the corn maze at the Harvest Festival!  Marcus likes baking pumpkin-flavored things!  They go strolling through the woods drinking cider and looking at the autumn leaves!  No spooky content here, just a celebration of everything pretty about fall.  Moodboards, playlists and aesthetics especially welcome!

October 26: Modern AU – Trick-or-Treat! 
This one’s all about Halloween with the kids.  Pumpkin carving!  Costume parties!  Clarke’s dressed as a princess!  Marcus is secretly scared of haunted houses!   As long as at least one of the kids is in it, you can do anything you want.

October 27: Historical AU!
Witch!Abby!  Werewolf!Marcus!  Married couple who accidentally move into a mansion full of Victorian-era ghosts!  Pride & Prejudice & Zombies!  Anything set before like 1960 qualifies here.  Fic welcome as always, but y’all artists know how much we love historical Kabby fan art and edits …

October 28: TV Show AU!
From Twin Peaks to Charmed to Ghost Hunters to Bewitched, any television show, past or present, with any kind of spooky or supernatural or horror/thriller theme is fair game!  

October 29: Movie AU!
Practical Magic!  Hocus Pocus!  The Rocky Horror Picture Show!  The Nightmare Before Christmas!  Anything spooky or creepy your heart desires, whether it’s a full-on Scream slasher flick or a classic Hitchcock thriller.  You can choose from any scary/fantastical movie you please, with one exception, because tomorrow’s theme is …

October 30: Hogwarts AU!
Young Kabby as students!  Adult Kabby as parents or teachers!  Or Order of the Phoenix!  Or hell, even Death Eaters!  If you want to send them over to Ilvermorny or set it circa Fantastic Beasts, that’s fine too!  The only rule is ABSOLUTELY NO ONE IS ALLOWED TO FIGHT OVER KANE’S HOUSE HEADCANONS, WE HAVE SUFFERED ENOUGH OVER THIS AND I FORBID ANYONE TO YELL ABOUT THIS, INCLUDING ME, DON’T LET ME FORGET

October 31: Dealer’s Choice!
Happy Halloween!  Today’s the day to post anything you want!  Fic, art, edits, playlists!  Got an AU we didn’t include, or even a canon idea you’ve been wanting to play around with?   As long as it’s even VAGUELY Halloween-themed, you’re in the clear.

Cherchez La Femme: Plus que ma Propre Vie (Final)

A/N: This is the final part. Good Lord, I can’t believe I’m done. This has gone on since JUNE, everyone. JUNE. And I’ve been writing it since October of 2016. I wrote it, edited it, edited it, typed it up, edited it again, and edited as I posted. It’s been quite a mess. But a good mess.

This fic is the reason I started a Tumblr. Back when I began writing it, I was coming out of a really horrible place in my life and I felt like I could start writing again, so I decided to start off easy–with fanfiction. I thought having characters and settings, etc, that were already developed would help me out, but this actually turned out to be one of the most in-depth, complicated things I have ever written. 172 pages (on a Word document, it was over 300 handwritten) and 107,500 ish words later, it’s actually finished. Done writing it, done posting it, and I’m not going to go back and edit the posts, even though I really, really want to. 

I have so many people to thank, for giving me ideas or for encouragement, so here goes:

@captainamerotica: You are actually half of Cherchez la Femme. All those scenarios we came up with? This is a conglomerate of all of those. Also, Drina is based on you, and I’m so glad I included her. So thank you for being there from the literal beginning.

@find-me-here2: You were my first Tumblr friend, and back when I was still complaining about how writing was going on this site, you were diligently reblogging everything and shamelessly promoting my fic even before I was certain that I was going to post it! Thank you for nagging me to finish it. 

@persephone-is-here-omg: Thank you, first of all, for your all-caps, paragraph-long reactions to every. Single. Post. I love seeing them, and I happen to like that your phone doesn’t understand that you definitely put paragraph breaks in. I think it’s hilarious. Thank you, my lovely wifey, for nagging me continually to post it as I teased you with bits and pieces of it (get ready to do it again for Twisted Satin and Diablerie). I treasure you and your wonderful comments.

@thecrownedrose: Thank you for your marginally less screamy reactions to this fic. They were no less entertaining, but definitely a little less punchy. I’m sorry I made you cry so much, but unfortunately, you can’t blame me for all of it; it’s Marvel’s fault. No angst, no Bucky! Thank you for reading and commenting on every single post despite the fact that you are now dealing with screaming, annoying children. Thank you, also, for nagging me to post this, even when I bitched to you about not wanting to, and as I said above, get ready to do it again for Twisted Satin and Diablerie! I love you, I love you, I love you.

@abovethesmokestacks: Thank you for reading and reblogging on every single post! Your reviews were amazing, too; they satisfied my inner English major when I needed someone to analyze things with in-depth. Seeing you reblogging always made me happy. 

@rebelslicious: YOUR GIFS. YOUR GIFS. Thank you for every single one of those. I usually burst out laughing whenever I saw them because they were so perfect. 

@suz-123: I know you weren’t there since the beginning beginning, but I’m so glad you found Cherchez! Thank you for every single one of your reblogs and comments! 

@betsy1066: Thank you as well! You have stuck out this whole thing, and I really, really admire you for it, because it was starting to get ridiculous. @rainbowrobotmarkerz: You started in the middle, but I’m so glad you saw it and enjoyed it! Thank you!

@genesis-d-winter: I’m so glad I met you at that convention! I loved talking to you there, and thank you so much for reading this and reblogging it. Hopefully we can continue talking, and we’ll see each other again at another con.

@sad-af1121 and @papi-chulo-bucky: Thank you for reading and reblogging. I see you every so often in my notes and I love it. Also, @papi-chulo-bucky, that anon’s ask made my year, thank you for thinking of my fic. Church flames is actually a good title. @avengersandlovers, thank you for reading this, too! I love how you attempted to call me out for whining about your angst, but I’m going to, even though my blog is the Angst Den. I’m so glad you enjoyed Cherchez, despite all the sads.

@erisjade: Your messages every so often were awesome, thank you so much for that. They usually came at just the right time and kept me going.

@adminsup and @mo320: I see you messaging and liking all the posts. You guys are absolute sweethearts, and I know we never talk, but I see it, and you make me happy. 

THANK YOU TO EVERYONE ON MY TAGLISTS. Whether you stuck it out from the beginning, found it in the middle, or saw the post a few chapters ago, thank you, thank you, for telling me that you wanted to read it and you thought it was important enough to be notified about. THANK YOU TO EVERYONE WHO READ IT OR IS READING IT. I may not see you on the notes, but I know you’re there and I wanted to say thank you for giving it a look. This thing is my baby and I love it, and I love all of you. @charliexowrite and @bi-diana-prince, I know you guys are like me and are going to binge read now that it’s over, so ENJOY!

If I forgot anyone, I am so sorry, but I’ve had this in my drafts now for a couple of weeks. Thank you all. The fanart, the comments, the reblogs, the likes… thank you.

I will probably make a playlist on Youtube soon, and make a post about that. I’m working on a Spotify, too. 

WARNINGS: FLUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUFF, small children included, engagement, swearing, marriage

WORD COUNT: 1845

MASTERLIST

SONG: I’ll Be Seeing You–Instrumental

Keep reading

So I just want to clarify something.

I don’t hate Romance novels. I don’t. I love them. I love that they’re ‘simple’ and often predictable, I love that they’re hopeful and happy and just, gosh I love them. I love them so much I am willing to fight anyone who says otherwise and die on this hill. I spent years of my life editing them, I have seen the pinnacle of the best and worst within the genre and I still love them.

I never used to, I thought they were asinine and worthless until I took a moment to wonder why I thought that, and then I realized I grew up in a household (and society) where the works of women are mocked inherently because they are written by women and I was being made to feel guilty for enjoying a form of escapism that was relative to my interests. I wasn’t supposed to want romance, I wasn’t supposed to want the nice house, the loving partner and the happy life. I was supposed to want nitty-gritty realism and ‘proving your worth’ because those are the hallmarks by which male dominated media is governed on the misconception that men are hard, stoic and are only defined by either capacity for violence and women their ability to endure it.

And fuck that nonsense.

Once I took my blinkers off it was like finally being able to relax after a lifetime of being exhausted by stories about pain and suffering and how only the strong survive. I was so tired you guys. Not least of all because I think the authors of such stories don’t necessarily know what survival on a day to day basis means. It’s all setting your heart aside and hardening yourself against the world, as though somehow detaching yourself from emotion is the bravest thing you can do.

Except that’s not how humans work. Oh we can do it for a while, and some people even manage to do it their whole lives. But how lonely those lives must be. It’s one of the things I love so dearly about Pratchett. All of his characters are so full of rage and compassion and a burning righteousness that can only come from love. Why else do we do anything, if not for a better world.

Their power comes from their emotions, their power comes from their certainty of self…and that’s what most romance novels strive to do too. They take the hard edges of the world and say “here, here is someplace soft where you can be yourself and be loved, oh there might still be some unnecessary drama, but that’s people for you darling, but don’t worry, everything will be all right in the end.”

That’s important. It’s important to have things in this world that take a moment to reassure you that everything is going to be okay. You are valid. You are worthy, purely based on who you are. You deserve love and happiness, you deserve nice things and to not have to suffer untold agonies to get them. You deserve. And this is the fundamental reason why Romance is predominantly popular with women, because we spend our whole lives being told that we don’t.

And of course there will be texts that let the genre down, of course there are, but I could literally take any Classic novel and do the exact same thing I did in my live review over the weekend. I could take The Great Gatsby apart piece by piece and find something to mock until you ever wondered why you thought it was any good. I could pick at all the seams in James Joyce, Charles Dickens, and Herman Melville until it unravels into a farce. (my god have any of you read Moby Dick?!?? That shit is weird.)

So lets be clear about something. I wasn’t mocking A Haunted House because it was Romance. I was taking pot shots at weak characterization, sub-par plot, and trope cliches. Which by the way, is how I feel about George R R Martin on a regular basis.

So please, in the future, if I happen to be ragging on something. Don’t reblog it with “romance is the worst lulz”, because it’s not. It just so happens that one in particular had a particular wealth of bad points, none of which were exclusive to Romance.