That’s such a fascinating analysis. I would imagine a lot of people have something similar perhaps about a different aspect of themselves. I just love your thoughts okay?! And you are very generous to share them.
Ah thank you so much! I thought it was too!! I really do think that everyone has something particularly beautiful about them that they can’t see because they’re looking at it the wrong way. And I’m not talking about a “mind over matter” thing here. Like, looking in the mirror and willing yourself to be beautiful or anything. I think it’s more objective than that.
It’s about looking and seeing what is actually there and recognizing the loveliness of it. It goes along with recognizing the flaws, which are all too easy to find anyway. The trick is recognizing both at the same time and seeing yourself as a whole person. There are things about myself I deeply dislike and am embarrassed about but there are strengths too.The point is that I’m not meant to see the one apart from the other. They all belong in the same face, on the same person. Just like I’m not really meant to judge my physical appearance apart from who I am. Because my body and soul are united. When people see me, they don’t just see disparate body parts. They see a whole person and it’s how I treat them and it’s who I am that someone responds to just as much as they respond to my physical features. That’s why I think presentation and fashion and carriage and body language are so interesting (and important). Because they bridge the gap between my static body and my personality and bind the whole thing (me!) together. So it’s not unimportant how I dress or act or move. It communicates so much about who I am and it’s a part of beauty I have more control over than my actual features. (Which I can’t change.) I think that’s so beautiful and awesome, don’t you?
Even if I’m not as statically pretty as [insert pretty person here], it doesn’t really matter because I can be me. I can be a whole, unique person that people can love or hate or agree with or disagree with. The whole me-body and mind and heart and personality? No one is ever going to be able to replicate that, so I (you, everyone) might as well lean into that as our greatest strength because it kind of is.
I’ve wandered a bit off the track here, but to return to the point: everyone has physical flaws. But everyone has strengths too!!! Everyone has something beautiful about them, even speaking purely physically. And I don’t think it’s vain or silly to see that and rejoice in it. I think it’s good and it makes you happier which then opens you up and makes you more confident and at peace, which is as much a part of beauty (even psychologically) as having certain features etc.
I always want to write an essay on beauty (I guess I just did? :D) because I think the world has it all wrong and I think beauty guides have it all wrong. I think we all fall into tearing ourselves apart and breaking up the pieces in a negative way instead of realizing the effect of our whole person, our personality, our virtues, the honest reflection of what is happening in our hearts. But I also think that it’s not a bad thing to take ourselves apart a little bit to examine ourselves more positively. To see the physical traits we once didn’t like in a better and different light. In my opinion a truer light. I believe everything God has made is beautiful, but He also didn’t make everything exactly the same. It’s really easy to think that if some aspect of ourselves isn’t like an imaginary standard then it (we) must not be pretty. But “Glory be to God for dappled things.” Hopkins is right and so is @wearetakingthehobbitstogallifrey who said “stars or flowers, which is prettier?”. (And you could be like, definitely stars. But that doesn’t negate the inherent loveliness of flowers. It just leaves room for personal opinion.)
When you stop trying to make yourself like someone else you can see the unique beauty of who you are and what you look like. And that is amazing.
Also thank you for loving my thoughts!! That makes me so happy and also clearly emboldened me to write you an essay on beauty and self-acceptance!! <3