Oh, Maker, Hear Me Pray
This takes place during the scene when Cullen tells the Inquisitor about his past and the Inquisitor must choose if he’ll continue or not to take the lyrium.
Cullen Rutherford X Demetra Trevelyan
Cullen has always been a man of faith. He prayed even in his darkest moments when he thought the Maker’s light would never reach him again.
He prays hard right now, as he hears his voice telling her everything.
About the fall of the Kinloch Circle.
About his years of blind anger and fear, when he saw every Mage as a catastrophe waiting to happen.
About his decision to cut any bond to the Templar Order, realizing his place wasn’t there anymore.
About his addiction, which makes almost every day a battle he must win as his body burns and his bones creak.
He tells her everything and hides nothing.
He prays she won’t be disgusted by his confession, he prays she understand that he’s trying to be better, he prays she understands he can’t take that blue vial anymore.
It’s a confession of some sort, like when he searches Mother Giselle once a week and confesses his sins and doubts.
He’s doing the same now, offering her his sincerity as well his will to accept whatever it’ll come.
He doesn’t know what to expect.
He doesn’t know what he has the right to expect.
Then, she speaks, and her words are nothing but comprehension and respect and tender concern for his sake. Not for him as her Commander, but for his own person. She assures Cullen that he can win his last battle and get rid of the lyrium once and for all. She puts gently her hand on his breastplate, preventing him from falling into his own uncertainty.
He wishes to take that gentle, lovely hand and kiss the knuckles one by one, lingering on her skin with a speechless declaration of loyalty and love.
He doesn’t dare, all he can do is just watching her walking out from his office, leaving him stronger and calmer and full of an underserved relief.
He prays the Maker to keep her safe. The world needs its Inquisitor. What or who he needs, though, it stays stuck on his lips.
It’s a wish too big to beg for. It’s too much to ask. He’s always been a man of faith, but he knows what a woman like her deserves.
He fears he’s not enough, so he prays to serve her well as Commander. If he asks for more, it’s a secret between him and the Maker.
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