and her sorcerer is on some other level it is AMAZING

The Princess and the Apple Tree - Part Three

Author Note:  Thank you all for bearing with me and being so patient in awaiting this last part, the conclusion of our tale. I can’t say thank you enough for all those who have left comments and messaged me directly about this story. I never expected it would be so enjoyed, and it warms my heart. I hope I’ve done well by you all in the end.

Thanks to my girl @bleebug for looking over this for me and squeeing in all the right parts. I’m also incredibly thankful to my dear friend @sunbeamsandmoonrays, who made a lovely graphic based on the first chapter of this story. (If anyone felt compelled to do any type of artwork based on this tale, I’d die of happiness, so please tag me if you do!) Thanks for reading! 

Summary:  Princess Emma knows no better place than the expansive garden that was built for her as a small child. When a young thief dares to scale the garden’s walls, Emma finds herself befriending Killian Jones, a boy who lives in her kingdom. Over time, they become inseparable, and as they grow, so does their love for one another–until the day Killian mysteriously disappears, and Emma finds herself strangely drawn to an apple tree that appears in her garden.
A Lieutenant Duckling-inspired fairy tale, inspired by an A.A. Milne story with the same title.

Words: 3,700+

Chapters on A03: (1) / (2) / (3)

Chapters on Tumblr: (1) / (2) 

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Throughout time, there had been much speculation about True Love—whether it existed, firstly, and secondly, in a more secretive debate, whether it held power. Most kingdoms were not built upon love’s promises, as few royals married for affection when arranged marriages and business mergers were generally much more beneficial. Those who did marry for love, royal and commoner alike, always wondered whether their love met the standard for what could be considered True love.


With some couples, for better or for worse, it was self-evident.


King David and his Queen, Snow, were one such couple. Their love was one of which sonnets were written, and ballads sung in the streets. Their kingdom thrived, its denizens secure in the knowledge of their rulers’ hearts. For when one ruled in love, the whole kingdom felt it.


Much speculation had also been made through the centuries about what came of True Love. A child born of it, rarer still than True Love, itself, was said to possess power all its own, the lightest and purest form of magic.


Of course, this was speculation derived from mages, sorcerers, and other magic-wielding folk who had the experience and knowledge to even entertain such thoughts. Most people gave little thought to True Love and absolutely no thought to what extra power one such couple’s children could potentially possess, and life went on as usual.


In truth, True Love was a magic all its own, and the power it created when it brought forth new life was insurmountable.


Unbeknownst to her, Princess Emma possessed such power. It lay in recess, a subtle hum of strength beneath her skin, a fire behind her eyes. It was why her garden flourished beneath her touch, thriving far better in her care than any of the palace gardeners had ever seen before.


As the ax struck again, Emma’s heart seized. The basket slipped from her hand, her breakfast spilling out onto the grass as she took off, racing along the main path, toward the center of the garden—toward her apple tree.


Her father stood before it, ax in hand. King David, not hearing her approach, raised his ax to take another swing at the tree, which already bore a deep, irreparable gash. Emma slammed into him, nearly knocking the king to the ground. With a ferocity that made her father gape in shock, she reached for the ax and began to wrestle it out of his hands.


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anonymous asked:

yes hi hello i'm here for the ballet stories and i was wondering if you've already told the nutcracker, and if there's any that you haven't been asked but you really want to tell, also thank you very much you are very awesome and i hope you have a great day

so just in time for CHRISTMAS i have the nutcracker here for y’all. bundle yourselves in some be-fucking-dazzled ugly sweaters and get hella candy canes because we are strapping in on santa’s motherfucking sleigh for a BUMPY FUCKING RIDE UNLESS WE AVOID RUNNING OVER GRANDMA WITH THE REINDEER WHICH SHOULD PROBABLY BE OUR GOAL

🎅🎄🎁🌟🎅🎄🎁🌟🎅🎄🎁🌟🎅🎄🎁🌟🎅🎄🎁🌟

*opens yuletide book* *ahem* let’s rock around this christmas motherfucker

so our story has many incarnations but the one we gone do follows this eensy little lady clara

ignore the nutcracker in her hands. she doesn’t have it yet. clara is sometimes called marie and sometimes she’s like an adult but i don’t fucking like that so we are gonna go with the version where she’s like twelve aight? bear with me, okay?

so clara has the perfect white bread very lovely happy white picket fence german family. they have a mommy and a daddy and a clara and a bratty little brother named fritz. the stahlbaums are very rich and have money to blow so they decide to throw this big ass rave to celebrate THE BEST HOLIDAY. just kidding. it is not a rave or a house party or anything mildly cool, it is just a christmas party with a bunch of the adult cousins and friends and their kids. basically the kinda shit you’d try to be slightly drunk for so you can avoid awkward questions about “what are you doing with your life now?”

since they are children, clara and fritz don’t have to worry about it. their only problem is distant relatives with obvious favoritism issues. 

BOOM enter clara’s godfather, Herr Drosselmeyer. he makes a big entrance where sometimes he does magic tricks and seems mysterious and vaguely creepy, but hey, that’s how people who are only slightly connected to the family who you must include or suffer the withering eye of your mother around the holidays are.

drosselmeyer is some sort of magician-y dude. he obviously has to impress this big party full of children and adults, so he does what any cool uncle type figure would do- some mildly impressive magic tricks. card guessing and endless strings of handkerchiefs are NOT ENOUGH for this sorcerous motherfucker, he’s gotta pull out the big guns. so what does this asshat do? HE BRINGS OUT BIGASS BOXES. the boxes have actual life sized fucking DOLLS in there. like dolls the size of fucking people. hella amazing. he bewitches them, like one does as a magician, and they actually dance for this party full of kids. so much for keeping one’s powers on the DL.

if he hasn’t proved himself the coolest fucking godfather yet, this douchecanoe has got PRESENTS. because clara is obviously his fave- and she is the one who is his godchild, fritz is just some random notgodchild- she gets a GOOD PRESENT. because drossel obviously knows how to shop for a goddamn twelve year old girl, he has gotten her a wooden nutcracker doll. you know. like how you crack nuts. 

and clara, because she is not attuned the the JOYS OF A CONSUMERISM loves this gift. so much that fritz, because nobody cares about him, and he has just gotten a walnut is super pissed. he chases clara around the party, steals the nutcracker, and smashes that wooden balls-destroyer on the ground.

like any good godfather, drossel has a miniature nutcracker doctoring kit in the pocket of his cape. he wraps that timber bollocks breaker up in a sling because being the victorian era, glue is not available OH WAIT ADHESIVES HAVE FUCKING BEEN IN USE FOR CENTURIES SO UNLIKE A GOOD BOY SCOUT HE WAS FUCKING NOT PREPARED. the guests jingle back into the fucking winter wonderland because this party has gotten ho-ho-horribly awkward and they want to have candy-cane cocktails in the privacy of their own homes. the family eventually goes to bed in preparation for CHRISTMAS MERRIMENT 🎅🎄🎁🌟.

because clara is very excited about christmas, she sneaks out to play with her nutcracker. much like any child trying to stay up late she is knocked the fuck out in about five minutes. this is where the fun happens. by some sinister magic- sometimes actually by drossel putting on a spell- clara is attacked by HUGE MOTHERFUCKING RAAAAAATS in her sleep.

she wakes up completely scared shitless as one would if they woke up to lifesized damn vermin surrounding you and has no idea what the fuck to do, still clutching this freaking glorified bottler opener like her life depends on it. 

WHICH it turns out, it does. drossel using his freaky deaky quasi wizardry powers turns the nutcracker into a life sized version which comes out and kicks some rodent ass. sometimes, everything shrinks and sometimes the tree grows and basically lots of magic shit. he fights the rat king and when it seems like he is about to lose, clara, in a move of pure subterfuge and military strategy, throws her gotdamn shoe at the rat’s head. despite this maybe not being the exact thing that we want to implicate into our military (but then we could spend fucking less on fucking defense spending) it works. big ass rodent daddy is distracted and then stabbed like the rat’s assed vermin he is by our wooden hero.

(this seems like a dance of lurve to me someone pls write some fanfiction)

by some more magic, the nutcracker is turned into a human. sometimes he’s just a magical prince, which is fucking uncomfortable- “here twelve year old goddaughter, sit with this random prince in a sleigh all night nothing weird about that”- or drossel’s nephew or some shit. they are whisked through a snow storm. because in ballet we really like to personify inanimate objects, these are actually beautiful lady snowflakes who dance through the cold and the suffering so that clara can pass safely to the land of the sweets, even though she is not wearing a fucking coat.

ENTRE ACT 2. we are led into the land of the sweets, which is as sickeningly diabetes-causingly sugary as it sounds. clara the sweet precious fucking fresh princess QUEEN of the land- the sugar plum fairy. 

sugar mama asks clara what the hickle heckle she’s doing there. lil mini badass bitch explains, and big sugar badass bitch is so happy that she decides to throw a party. luckily this is not one of those wild “drink all night, hook up with a stranger, make some life long memories and regrets” kind of party GET YOUR MIND OUT OF THE GUTTER CHAD BECAUSE CLARA IS LIKE TWELVE it is instead a sit for an hour and watch us dance kind of party

this is where things get a leetle bit dicey. sugar bitch fairy has got sweets from all over the world in her court just sitting around waiting to dance because they aint need jobs to support a candy economy. eighteenth century ballet choreographers took this “represent world cultures” thing to mean “let’s take the most exaggerated steroetypes of other countries and run with them.” unfortunately the idea of not being fucking racist cockwagons wasn’t a thing back then. and unfortunately we still do this and let our vague racism run rampant HAPPY HOLIDAYS FUCKERS

we get to see all sorts of things tho, from french marzipan ladies to the horrendous amalgamation of ~aRaBiAn~ stereotypes to represent the delicious elixir of coffee, to once again inanimate object represented by hot bitches in the dew drop fairy with her congress of flower hotties. it is all a jolly good time. they dance, we party, there’s arguably fuck-up-your-insulin-levels sugar going on, clara sits a lot, things happen. 

then clara is all partied out (fucking weak) and drossel sends her home in a magical carriage, her nutcracker restored to a weird utilitarian toy once again instead of a random ass prince, and her wondering if this was all a fucking dream.

*closes story book* *turns off blinking “it’s christmas bitch” sweater* and that is the story of the nutcracker

The wedding

Same Group as “Let me sing you the song of my people parts 1 & 2”

Context: After weeks of waiting for the DM to fix the game I technically broke by proposing to a demon queen (Read part 2) and having them call me angrily every few days about how they got stuck at a part and how I need to learn when to kill and when to find love we returned to this.

DM (OOC)- Welcome back to the game, sorry for the delay trying to change everything seemed more of a hassle than I thought. *The stare directly at me angrily* But now that I got everything sorted out we can re-begin close to where we left off. Oh and I choose just have you all at the Tavern next to the inn. Samson, where do you want to be?

Rogue (OOC)- I guess I will be by the bar getting piss drunk. might as well celebrate Merlin’s proposal.

DM (OOC)- Ok, Dio?

Dragonborne (OOC)- I’ll sit at a table

DM (OOC)- alright Rasputin?

Sorcerer (OOC)- I will sit with Dio so he doesn’t get lonely.

Dragonborne (OOC)- thanks man

DM (OOC)- That’s nice of you. Now for you… Merlin where will you be?

Me (OOC)- whoa, chill with all the hostility, how many times have I apologized when every you called angy?

DM (OOC)- Not enough, now again where. will. you. be?

Me (OOC)- I guess I will be drinking with Samson, you know make sure he doesn’t do anything too stupid.

DM (OOC)- Oh you don’t have to worry they can’t possibly break the game AGAIN. I made sure of it.

Me (OOC)- you will never let that go will you?

*They shake their head angrily*

Me (OOC)- I guess I sorta deserve that.

After a while of random talk  about the loot we had, the proposal I made, which made the DM madder, then me and Samson going to sit with the rest of our group the DM makes a roll and places a piece down.

DM- So while you all were relaxing, and reminiscing… I demon enters the room and everyone in there freezes before looking at you all sitting at your table. They walk up to your table, and before you can move puts up one hand and says

Demon- Merlin and friends, our queen has made the arrangement for the wedding ceremony. Please follow me so you all can be fitted and so we can begin.

*Everyone just shrugs and agrees to follow*

We go with the Demon and are transported to The Underworld. we quickly leave and go to a tailor who had suits ready and measured us

DM- While measuring you he instructs you all that weapons of any kind should be left in that room as to not cause any lesser demons think ill of you.

Rogue (OOC)- Really? Demons thinking ill of US? Isn’t that a bit racist?

DM (OOC)- Racist or not it is you choice to do it, but I’ll warn you ahead of time. Merlin is getting married to someone quite powerful.

Rogue- Alright fine, you can have all my weapons. But i want them back

Tailor- Don’t worry I promise to keep all your weapons safe and I will return them after the wedding. I swear on the queen, oh and future king.

Me- Oh yeah I guess I will become a king, never really thought about that fact. Wait so what about my friends what can they become.

Tailor- That will have to be negotiated after the wedding, right now we are running on a tight schedule.

*everyone gets fitted and hand in all their weapons. After that we proceed to the Church (Which is weird since we are technically in hell).

DM- As soon as you enter the church Queen Elize rushes to Merlin and picks him up in a hug.

Elize- Oh how I have missed you, I feel like it has been months since we last say each other (Everyone snickers which earns a glare from the DM to me). I am so glad you brought your friends as well because I know you needed a best man but I didn’t know who to pick for you. But now since they are here I don’t have to you can!

Me- Um best man…? I never thought of that, who do I choose…

Rogue- I could be your best man, you know if you want?

Me- thanks, everyone Ok with that?

The Sorcerer and Dragonborne agreed to it.

Elize- Great now that you are all dressed, quite nicely I might add, and have your best man we can begin the wedding

We go on with the wedding and I say fake vows and at the end of it Elize kisses me and she is added to our group. After that we are transported back to the inn with my new wife.

Me- Oh yeah, since I am a king what are my friends? Like do they get any royalty things as well?

Elize- Um…  guess I can make them Dukes, knights, prince’s, or kings of small areas in the Underworld. What do you think?

Dragonborne- I want to be a Duke

Sorcerer- I would like to own some land. I guess I will be king

Rogue- not much for the Duke or king of anything so I guess I could be a knight for everyone. Wait (OOC) I don’t change classes right?

DM (OOC)- Nope, you just get special armor, allowance to the queen’s other knights weapon stash, the highest rank in the knights in fact so respect I guess, payment from the queen, and other things I might think of. Come check with me later.

Rogue (OOC)- Alright, that sounds amazing. Merlin I am so glad you married her.

Me (OOC)- So I guess I get a lot of that plus more?

DM (OOC)- Yea like protecting, a spell that I will add to you later, I won’t spoil it though, and a level up to all of you. 2 for you Merlin.

After that we headed back to the inn and called it a session.