Why Sherlock Would be a Very Good Dad (and other assorted Headcanons)
He’d be able to deduce which boy’s/girl’s house Rosie would be going to by her outfit choice, so lying to him about her excursions would be futile
—he’d find out everything while she fished for an excuse
Even though he’d have taught her more about chemistry than most college professors know by her twelfth birthday, he wouldn’t be able to teach her a single thing about how to do long division; “Mental math is obsolete, John, we’ll just buy her a calculator.”
He’d get horribly aggressive at parent-teacher conferences. If he heard anything that he disagreed with, he’d make a biting comment about the teacher’s lack of credentails, flip up his collar, and whoosh out of the room, pulling Rosie behind him
Sherlock would be the one that spoilt Rosie silly, but he was also the one that made her feel the worst when she disappointed them
He’d try to take her on cases, but John would stop him, saying, “For God’s sake, Sherlock, she’s an eight-year-old and you’ve handed her a shotgun!” They’d decide that cases were off-limits until she turned eighteen, and even then she wasnt allowed to hold any weapons
He’d be the Soccer Mom™, fighting tirelessly with the referee/opposing team’s coach and driving her around to games and practices with a backseat full of sports equipment (John made him empty the car of his “experiments” when a jar of fermented things spilled all over Rosie’s science fair project)
Whenever Rosie wiould ask to go to someone’s house, he would casually ask for their parent’s name before doing a very, very thorough background check. If they were anything but a model citizen, she wasn’t allowed to go
When Sherlock and John would leave the house on a case, Sherlock would remember they had a child and would call Mrs. Hudson from the back of a cab and ask her to “find the baby, damn it!”
Molly wouild end up as Rosie’s godmother/babysitter-in-chief, becauase as it turned out, Mrs. Hudson had no idea how to take care of an infant (a real one—Sherlock doesn’t count); Rosie would spend weeks at Molly’s house while her dads chased down a terrorist in South America
John would read Rosie’s English paper and set it down on the kitchen table, only to have Sherlock glance at it and find about eleven more errors
Sherlock would insist on testing every toy/game they bought before giving it to Rosie; John once found him in the living room at three in the morning, surrounded by the scattered pieces of a particularly hard 300-piece puzzle
John would constantly have to stop Sherlock from trying to solve local case when they took family vacations; he had to begin stepping in and booking hotels alone, as Sherlock would always pick ones near known crime scenes)
Sherlock would be disgusted at the high prices on the rare occasions where he took Rosie shopping and would spend hours in the aisles to find the best deals, until he eventually decided to begin designing/making clothes for Rosie himself. he got so good that he eventually made her prom dress, and, later, her wedding dress, and Rosie wouldn’t have it any other way
Rosie would spin around in the swivel chair in Mycroft’s office while he barked orders into the phone regarding the safety of England
John would do most of the cooking, but occasionally Sherlock would volunteer—John and Rosie would spit into their napkins when he wasn’t looking
John and Sherlock would read to Rosie every night before bed, taking turns being the characters and using funny voices to make her giggle
John made them do a “family movie night,” which wasn’t very fun, since Sherlock always provided running commentary about the plot holes and would spoil the ending before they were even halfway through
When Rosie asked, “Where do babies come from?” Sherlock looked her straight in the eye and explains it in terms too scientific for her to undertsand
Rosie purchased Just Dance after begging relentlessly for a Wii, and her and Sherlock often have epic dance battles (Sherlock hasn’t lost once, except for the time John crushed him at Single Ladies)
The first time Sherlock pulled up to Scotland Yard in his new beige minivan, Lestrade almost choked on his laughter
SO star wars would make a great series of ballets and here’s how A New Hope would go
The ballet begins with a frantic group dance- the plans for the deathstar are passed on to Leia, who desperately hides them before her confrontation with Vader (something like the opening scenes to the Nutcracker- Leia and others dancing with the plans, running away from the imposing Vader in full caped glory). R2D2 runs off stage, clutching the plans.
We enter on Luke, dancing a solo against the deserted landscape of Tatooine. He comes home after a long, lonely solo to find r2d2 and c3po waiting for him.
Luke and Leia’s holo dance a duet, which scrolls across the tatooine landscape as they search for obi wan
upon finding obi wan, he regales luke with stories of the jedis- anakin and obi wan’s younger selves play out light saber battles in the background- an ominous figure shrouded in black stabs luke’s father through the heart with a red saber. Luke’s father drops the blue lightsaber, which obi wan picks up and passes to luke.
obi wan and luke flee stormtroopers, hiring han and chewie in their desperate escape
the falcon is captured- obi wan exits to try and destroy the tractor beam offstage while luke and han hear of a captured princess leia and decide to rescue her
- battle/escape dances including blasters and disguises-
SUPER EPIC obiwan/vader lightsaber battle pas de deux, ending in obi wan’s death
END PART I
Part II opens on the falcon’s arrival in Yanvin, the sharing of the plans and the joy of the rebels to have leia safe again
luke joins the rebels, gets a costume change, and pleads with han to stay and help. He doesn’t.
the rebels begin their assault on the death star (not sure how to represent the tie fighters, but imagine a lot of dancers in plain black or white engaging in battle idk- like the flocks in swan lake)
Han returns triumphant and dances the lead in the battle, turning the tide, the rebel forces overpower their imperial counterparts
as han’s dance finishes, in a dramatic pause in the fighting, luke takes the opportunity to fire on the death star, followed by a dramatic background explosion
luke and han and rebels enjoy peace and happiness while receiving awards from leia (something like the coronation/gift-giving scene from nutcracker)
“We have arrived!” Jack pans the camera around, pausing briefly on Y/N, who smiles before bending to grab her bag. “No, no. I got that.” He waves at her, and she lets out a laugh.
“I’m capable of carrying my own bag, Jack.”
“Can you please just let me be a good best friend and carry it?”
“Fine. Give me this then.” She grabs the camera from him, turning it around to record him lifting both of their bags, groaning at the weight. “Oi, shut up. You probably packed more than me!”
“I have no idea what you could mean by that.”
“You are such a diva.” She rolls her eyes and turns slightly, recording the various other youtubers arriving, pouring out of the different vehicles that had been hired to transport them.
When a yellow jeep pulls up, she feels her heart skip a beat. A moment later, Caspar jumps out, followed closely by Joe.
He looks good. Is Y/N’s first thought before she shakes her head and turns away quickly, her eyes falling on Jack who is studying her, a small frown on his lips.
“You okay?” He asks as they make their way into the house where they will be staying.
“I will be. I’m at this gorgeous house, with my best friend, and a bunch of amazing other youtubers.” She smiles reassuringly at him.
“And there’s an open bar.”
“And there’s an open bar.” She repeats, laughing.
The dinner passes in slight awkwardness, because Y/N and Joe are sat at the same table, but do their best to ignore each other, since they had agreed to keep their distance when they split nearly six months ago. The others who are sat at their table pick up on the mood and do their best to engage in conversations with them separately, but because everyone is reminiscing about the year, many memories are brought up from prior to the break up.
When dinner finally finishes, and everyone disappears into their rooms briefly to freshen up before they gather again for music and drinks, Y/N flops back onto her bed, letting out a puff of air.
“Come on now, you have to get up.” Jack nudges her with his foot as he moves past Josh, who’s fixing himself in the mirror. For some reason they have decided to gather in her room, which she doesn’t entirely understand, but simply let it happen.
“I don’t know, I may just skip the rest of the night.”
“What?!” Josh spins around, mouth falling open while Jack stares down at her, eyes wide. “You can’t miss this!”
“Who is going to dance awkwardly with us?” Jack asks.
“Who’s going to be the only girl to dance with Jack?”
“I just…I dunno.” Y/N lifts herself up onto her elbows and shrugs. “I feel weird.”
“Because of Joe?” Josh asks, although everyone knows the answer. “Come on, Y/N. Don’t let him ruin this. He can hang out with Marcus and Caspar. And you can hang out with us. Besides, we are so much more fun.” He winks down at her, smiling when she lets out a small laugh.
“And, Josh is right. You are the only girl who’s going to dance with us.” Jack adds, holding a hand out for her to grab.
“Hmm,” She tilts her head, looking at the two. “True. And I can’t leave you both standing awkwardly on the dance floor.” She takes his hand, allowing him to pull her into a standing position. “To the party!”
“To the party!” The other two boys chorus, leading her from the room.
In the beginning, it works. Y/N and Joe manage to keep their distance, but as the night goes on, and more drinks are consumed, their friends begin to mingle more and more, which results in them drawing closer and closer.
It doesn’t help Y/N that Joe looks especially good that night, with his hair all messed up just right, a smile on his face as he laughs with friends, relaxing because there isn’t any project to worry about. She feels herself staring at him multiple times throughout the night, cheeks burning every time he catches her, a small smile sent in her direction.
Everyone piles outside to see the snow and reindeers, and she takes the moment to sneak away, breathing in the cold air to clear her mind.
She wraps her arms around herself as she walks around the side of the house, leaning against the wall. The chatter and laughter of the party carries over to her, but it’s fainter, calmer, and she let’s her eyes adjust to the dark, scanning the landscape in front of her.
“You’re going to freeze.” A soft voice to her right makes her jump slightly, but she relaxes when she realizes it’s Joe.
“It was too warm inside.” She shrugs, shifting as he leans next to her, their shoulders brushing.
“Right. And wearing this jumper,” He picks at the Christmas jumper lightly, “Makes it so much worse.”
“You should wear it more. Always said red was your colour.” Y/N blushes as she realizes what she says, turning her eyes back to the landscape as silence falls between them.
“How’ve you been?” Joe finally asks, looking down at her.
“About the same.” He nods.
She tries to convince herself that it’s true. That she has been alright. That she hasn’t missed him every single day since they broke up, that she hasn’t longed for his arms around her again, to see that smile he reserved just for her, to laugh until her sides hurt, to dance around the flat listening to horrible music while they both sing completely off key.
Because seeing him tonight, all the feelings she had been pushing to the side had resurfaced, hitting her full force. But she had to pretend that she was alright, because Joe was alright.
“Dammit.” He suddenly huffs, pushing himself off the wall, walking a few steps forward before spinning around. Y/N blinks in surprise at him, unsure of what is happening. “I could never lie to you.”
“I’m not alright. Far from it. I miss you, Y/N. So much it hurts. I think the biggest mistake I made was letting you go. I thought, hey, maybe it’s just because we just broke up, normal post-break up feelings. But then the months went by, and they didn’t change. And then seeing you tonight…gods, you look great by the way. It all just came flying back. Worse than before. So no, I’m not alright.” Joe finishes, standing in front of her, so close that his breath ghost across her lips, his fingers playing with hers at their side. “Tell me to turn, to leave and walk away, and I will. Because that’s what we agreed on before.” His eyes search hers, and Y/N feels like she could cry from relief, but instead she simply leans forward, her lips connecting with his.
Just like that, everything falls back into place, like it should have been.
“Oh! Found them!” Jack’s voice echoes around them, and the two break apart, turning to look over at him. He’s standing just at the corner of the house, arms crossed and a smirk on his face. Josh and Caspar appear behind him a moment later, laughing as they realize what happened.
“Does this mean we can all talk to each other again?” Caspar asks hopefully.
“Yes. Yes it does.” Y/N smiles over at him before glancing up at Joe, who’s already gazing down at her.
“But how do you mess up that bad though?” Joe asks, shaking his head as the lift doors open.
“It was an easy mistake!” Jack tells him.
“You got Tuesday and Friday mixed up. How is that an easy mistake?” Joe laughs as they head towards his front door.
“Oh shut up.” Jack grumbles, but he’s quickly distracted by the music coming from the door. “You having a party or something?”
“I wouldn’t be surprised if Caspar invited himself over.” Joe shrugs, unlocking the door. As soon as it’s pushed open, the noise increases, and both boys blink at each other. Because it is certainly not the type of music that Caspar, or really any of their mates, would listen too.
“I don’t think Caspar invited himself over…” Jack mumbles as they move forward, peering around the corner and into the living room.
And what they discover is definitely not Caspar.
But instead is Y/N and her best friend, Y/F/N, dancing and singing along to the song blasting from the speakers.
It’s clear the two are obvious to their new audience, and instead are simply enjoying each other’s company. Since they had known each other for so long, they are comfortable enough to not give a shit while dancing, and choose to let themselves go.
They jump onto the couch, a wooden spoon in Y/N’s hand, and a spatula in Y/F/N’s hand, the kitchen utensils acting as their microphones as they sing at the top of their lungs.
The two move their hips, their bodies swaying with the music, their hair flying around them.
The dance moves they’re performing aren’t really dance moves, but instead crazy movements that somehow work for them and the music.
Joe can’t help the smile he feels grow across his face as he watches Y/N close her eyes, head tilted back to the ceiling, her lips moving along with the words. He was loving how carefree and happy she looked, enjoying the moment with her best friend, it was captivating.
“Bloody weirdos.” Jack mumbles from next to him, but when Joe looks over at the other man, there’s a fond smile on his face and his eyes are following Y/F/N closely.
“They’re going to hate us if they see us.”
“Which is why we take pictures now.” Jack grins cheekily, his phone already open to his camera.
“You really know how to charm a woman.” Joe laughs, but makes no move to stop Jack as he takes a few pictures along with recording a short video.
The two boys wait another song before they make their presence known, eliciting screams of surprise from the two girls.
“Holy shit.” Y/F/N says, hand to her chest. “Way to sneak up on us, you asses.”
“It is my place.” Joe grins.
“Still.” She glares softly over at him.
“Oh, give it up, Y/F/N.” Y/N laughs, turning to look at the two boys. “But how long have you been watching?”
“Long enough.” Joe shrugs, a teasing light in his eyes. “Long enough to know you have some killer dance moves.”
“Oh gods.” The two girls groan as the boys laugh.
“You’ll have to teach me you’re moves. Or maybe it’s just the wooden spoon, maybe it has magical powers.” Joe winks as Y/N blushes, glancing over at the wooden spoon that had been tossed onto the couch.
“Private dance lessons?” Jack throws an arm around Y/F/N’s shoulders, “Sounds like fun to me.”
“As if.” She rolls her eyes, but she leans into his embrace, something that doesn’t go unnoticed by Joe and Y/N, who exchange a look.
“Don’t let us stop you, though!” Joe continues, heading over to the computer. “Please, continue!” He says before clicking play, a new song coming through the speakers.
“Only if you show us your dance moves!” Y/N grins, holding out a hand for Joe, who is quick to take it, spinning her around.
“I mean, I do have some epic dance moves. Although, not as epic as yours.” He mumbles, his arms wrapping around her.
“No one has moves as epic as mine.”
“Well, maybe Jack.” Joe laughs, glancing over at the younger man who has taken the wooden spoon and joined Y/F/N on the couch.
“I guess it’s time to go show him up.” Y/N winks, tugging Joe towards the couch, starting to sing along.
Taylor Swift released no solo material in 2016, but she still dominated as a songwriter. And while these two songs are wildly different — her ex-boyfriend Harris cut a dance-floor epic; Little Big Town crooned a perfect country ballad — both cement her as one of her generation’s finest songsmiths.
Entertainment Weekly’s 100 Best Song’s of 2016 included two written by Taylor Swift at number 11 “Better Man" and number 10 “This Is What You Came For”
Alicia Keys Celebrates Her Birthday With A ‘House Party’ Pajama Jammy Jam [ & Epic Dance Off]
Those Deans be lovin’ their themed parties!
A few months ago, Alicia Keys surprised hubby Swizz Beatz with a “Coming To America”-themed birthday bash for his 36th birthday. This time around, it was Swizz’s turn to repay his wife with a “House Party”-themed Pajama Jammy Jam for her 34th — and it was EPIC!
In true ’90s fashion, the Deans dressed in matching 8-ball onesies with Alicia accessorizing with an ol’ skool gold chain and gold hoops. La La Anthony, who showed up with grills and a colorfully airbrushed onesie, was also on hand for the fun times, as well as Gayle King, Po Johnson, Angie Martinez, Busta Rhymes, Mashonda and many more.
And you know it wouldn’t be a Pajama Jammy Jam without Kid ‘n Play!
The legendary rap duo rocked the house with energetic performances while DJ Red Alert and Kid Capri kept the party live through the wee hours. Add Tisha Campbell-Martin, an age-defying AJ Johnson [52 years old!] dance off with Kid & Play, and it was a “House Party” reunion attendees won’t ever forget it!
This is Alicia’s first public appearance since having her second son Genesis over the holidays.
You feel like you have a voice in this show. I have opinions and I get to talk to the writers about them and they listen. Not all my ideas are great. I once asked if I could wear a green wig and dance around like a robot and they said, ‘Absolutely not.’
Hello lovelies! How is everyone today? Ya’ll ready for more shenanigans? Put on those gas masks because the smell of bullshit can be pretty strong.
So some random thoughts:
Jen and Josh must have had an epically fantastic 4th of July weekend to warrant that massive smile Josh sported when asked about Atlanta. And Jen knew what was coming so she had Talley post that boarding pass to Atlanta to say - we’re good, peeps.
A few words about Talley. Talley has been Jen’s assistant for three years but none of us knew about her because she’s been the soul of discretion. Talley worked in both MJ films but she never posted anything remotely connected to Jen. It’s only in the last year that she has started posting things related to Jen, and I’m sure Jen knows about it and gave permission to do so.
Talley has been a loyal employee and Jen is a very private person. So for Jen to okay posting that boarding pass, that’s huge. There’s no reason to post that except to let us know Jen was in Atlanta.
So C got two articles for her trouble. I especially liked the DM one that mentions how she went braless and flaunted her “modest assets.” Yikes. But look at those articles - they profile her and bring up PL - that’s for you Italy. They even have pap pics of her alone. Why? No one in the US knows who she is. They barely know her in Spain. Yet she gets the lead name in the JJ article? I guess the Spanish opportunities have dried up.
And she’s been free since May 1 and has done nothing. Nothing except been in her “friend’s” epically bad student art film where she dances with dead fish while wearing a pig’s mask - I’m not joking about that.
And Josh was enjoying his “off time” so when does she show up? The first day he’s filming a new project. Why not enjoy some time together eating tacos before work comes up? I guess she really needed to be seen on a Hollywood film set to show how in the Hollywood scene she is.
Joshy - you’ve f-cked up badly. No one believes this. It looks so fake. Josh has never been papped at his mom’s house in the two years she’s lived there. Whole Foods like Disneyland is where celebrities go to be seen. But did you notice how neither article mentioned he’s filming Future Man? It’s clear that’s what it is - Josh knows C coming around is an epic fail, so he is keeping the one legitimate project he has going for him out of those articles.
This is very bad from a PR perspective. He’s alienated a good chunk of his HG fans and even his hard core fans recognize how contrived this looks.
But that’s where we’re at. Let’s see what this week brings.
- Cat finds out that Kara has a friend from high school named Kitty, who she still keeps in contact with, that she might have had a crush on and gets jealous making snarky comments about her having a type and thinking she would be more of a dog person because the only one who can make cat jokes and puns is Cat herself. And maybe Carter.
- Kara can dance really well but she rarely shows off. It helped her learn to control her strength and movements and she and Alex had epic dance parties as “pup culture training.” And she can sing (because have you heard Melissa Benoist?? Her version of New York State of Mind with Lea Michele is one of my favs!)
- Kara is an artist. She sees all small details and she’s so in love with the diversity of Earth’s cultures that she just want to share what she experiences.
- Either Cat or Kara or both read to Carter every night.
- Carter figured out Kara was Supergirl before Cat and Kara told him. It’s kind of obvious when she runs out of the room suddenly, being all twitchy, and of course he’s seen her around the house without her glasses so many times.
- Kara is very tactile because she wants everyone important to her to know how much she cares. She has a dangerous job and she’s already lost everything once before, she doesn’t want there to be any question that she didn’t do anything to let them know how important they are to her.
- Cat likes wearing Kara’s clothes, especially if Kara isn’t home, because -and she’ll never admit this outloud- they’re usually more comfortable. One of her favorite sweatshirts to wear was originally Clark’s.
- Cat and Lois were roommates in college. They were involved in all sorts of shenanigans and had multiple prank wars with each other. Being in the same major (although Cat’s double major in business and journalism was something she never let
s Lois forget) and most of the same classes made them competitive. It became worse later on when Cat’s mom tried to pull strings which ended up with Cat working for Perry as his assistant while Lois went on to be a reporter. But that did help Cat build her business acumen that went on to help her start ruling the media world.
- Cat was never a huge fan of Grease, in her opinion there were much better musicals worthy of her time, until she saw a picture of Kara dressed up as Sandy in the cat suit from Halloween one year.
- It’s Kara and Alex that teach Carter how to play poker and one night that play it with M&Ms for game night and he hustles Cat. She doesn’t know whether to be proud or mad.
I still don't know anything about Eurovision, really. ^_^;;
(Mind if I publish this? I’ve always wanted to answer this question this way.)
Alright, so imagine that the Olympics has a Battle of the Bands event. Imagine that that event is only open to countries in Europe and the surrounding area. Imagine that it has the production values of something like Cirque du Soleil. And finally, imagine that in addition to judges, the entire viewing population of the participating countries can have a say in deciding the winner.
The Eurovision Song Contest (or Grand Prix Eurovision de la Chanson, as it was called back in the day) was established by the European Broadcasting Union in 1956 to bring back a sense of unity and friendship in Europe after the effects of World War 2. Even from its earliest years it spawned huge hits, such as Volare, which was later followed by the likes of ABBA and Céline Dion. As the years went on, more countries joined and it became one of the biggest televised music events in the world.
How it works is that a bunch of countries in the EBU select a singer/band and an original song to represent them. This can either be done through a national selection contest or just by the local TV presenters picking someone. All of the singers and bands then perform at the official show sometime in May. Originally there was just one round, but since there are so many countries participating now, they’ve had to split it up into two semifinals and a final. When all the artists have finished performing, each country holds a massive phone-and-text-based public vote and combines that with opinions from a professional jury to award points to the country’s top ten favorite songs (and you can’t vote for your own country).
Cool, right? But all was not well in Eurovisionland. People from all over the world keep popping up and saying that there’s no good music in the contest anymore, that it’s all about the flashiness and the jokes and the glitter, that nobody should take it seriously, that Verka Serduchka should have won, blah blah blah. You only have to listen to a couple of recent high-ranked songs to realize that is complete nonsense. Since the professional juries were brought back onto the scene, Eurovision has really stepped up its game and the vast majority of songs are really freakin’ good.
For example, the #actually flawless Loreen won in 2012 with her epic dance track Euphoria, setting the record for most 12-point (maximum) scores ever received. The fairy-like Emmelie de Forest won in 2013 with her beautiful folkish song Only Teardrops. And of course, last year was the year bearded drag queen Conchita Wurst took the trophy with the power ballad Rise Like a Phoenix, sending a message of unity and inclusiveness to all Eurovision fans.
The possibility of Emma and Killian attending a wedding together at the end of the season fill me with “Enchanted” dreams as I imagine the beautiful potential parallels between this film and our favorite couple.
Can you imagine Killian seeing Emma in a beautiful gown and being stunned and in awe of her.
Can you imagine them sharing a romantic, epic, fairy tale dance like the one Giselle and Robert shared.
And if their evening ended with a kiss of true love, I think we all would die from happiness :)