and her body pillow ha

anonymous asked:

Juvia is on a mission that takes a long time to complete. Meanwhile, in Magnolia, Gray misses her. Gray still has that Juvia body pillow from the 413 days omake (anime episode 220) The rest of the drabble idea is for you to decide ;) (if you choose to accept it)

Also on

Gray closed the door behind him and threw his keys on the bowl next to the door. He took a few steps in, the usual feeling sinking on his stomach. He was alone.

The silence was deafening.

Groaning, Gray went to his kitchen to get a glass of water to stall and pass the time, more than thirst. Most days he’d spend as much time in the Guild as he possibly could, leaving late, walking home in a slow pace.

His apartment was always quiet and before, he didn’t mind the silence when he got home after a day of loud noises at the Guild, but since he and Juvia started to date – since she started to stay over – he hated the silence.

Whenever Juvia was around, there wasn’t silence. She was always doing something in his kitchen, giggling about something, trying to get him to talk about his day, sharing what happened in hers, humming a song to herself. Even when she slept next to him, Gray could hear her soft breathing.

It was silent, though. She wasn’t there – Juvia persuaded Gajeel to go on a mission with her, after a few months with him and Juvia herself just taking jobs with their significant others and she had missed her friend.

Now he was the one missing her. Stupid Gajeel.

Gray snorted. “God, I’m freaking lost if I’m feeling jealous Gajeel’s on a mission with her instead of her being here with me.”

Deciding he’d better get ready for bed, Gray hopped inside the shower, put his boxers on and brushed his teeth. Having nothing else to stall him, he sighed and went to bed.

He looked to the empty space next to him and sighed, knowing full well that if Juvia had been there with him, she would’ve been waiting for him (if she hadn’t joined him in the shower, of course), on her stomach, her elbows supporting her weight and wearing one of the (many) scattered shirts he left around.

She would smile to him, wait for him to get comfortable before sliding close to him, wrapping herself around him like a freaking octopus and then proceed to tell him what her plans for the next day were, while he hummed in agreement and enjoyed her warmth and proximity.

That night, though, the bed was empty.

“Shit.” He whispered and put his forearm over his eyes, already predicting a sleepless night. He had gotten used to have her there. Just the week before, she had spent five nights out of seven with him. They stayed over there because Juvia still resided on Fairy Hills and men weren’t allowed.

After half an hour trying to sleep, turning and moving until he was more and more annoyed by the second. It was too quiet, the bed was too empty and he couldn’t sleep like that.

“Screw it.” Gray reached to the window next to his bed, opened it just a bit, got up and opened the door of his closet. It wasn’t too hard to find what he was looking for: a large body pillow with his girlfriend’s picture on it.

He couldn’t help it but to snort with it even after years of having the pillow. Sure, it had helped him through some lonely nights, but now that he had had the real thing, the pillow had been forgotten. Except in nights like that one.

Throwing the pillow on the bed and lying back on it, Gray hugged the pillow and was suddenly hit by her perfume (he was almost sure she knew he used the pillow and sprayed some of her perfume on the pillow once in a while) and it was quite effective to calm him down.

He would rather have her there, of course, but at least the bed didn’t seem so big anymore and with the crack of the window opened, it wasn’t so silent, he could hear the city’s sounds.

“I’m ridiculous.” Gray muttered to himself and looked to his girlfriend’s printed face on the pillow. “See what you reduced me to? Hugging pillows.” He scowled. “Great, now I’m talking to myself. I’m ridiculous and crazy.”

Gray closed his eyes and for a moment he thought he heard Juvia giggle with his words and his own lips curled up a bit with it. He’d manage to sleep that night, but he would need to talk to Juvia about missions without him. That wouldn’t do.

Maybe he’d mention it was a waste for her to pay a room in Fairy Hills when half of her things were in his apartment and when she spent almost all her time there anyways.

He’d figure it out, when he woke up.

AN: I hope it was fluffy enough. :3

True Paradise (Saeran/MC)

I can’t breathe.


Actually, I can.

It’s just hard to. It’s hard when you’re not the only person in the room. It has never been easy when another person is involved, anyway. I should have realized that the first time I let myself be associated with her.

What was I thinking?

She invited me into her room, holding my hand. And I allowed her to do that. How foolish could I be? It should have been easy for me to reject her. To push her away, like my brother always did a long time ago when she was trying to help him saving me.

Shit. Now I realize something. He had won against me, for God knows how many times. I’m weak. I’ve always been weak. Both my body and now my mind. No wonder Mother liked to abuse me–maybe it’s not entirely her fault. I’m also at fault for being too weak and rely on my brother too much.

But… this is strange.

I stare at the ceiling, stupidly waiting for it to give me answers, somehow. I’m practically petrified. I can’t move. I’m struggling for air. Why the hell did I let myself be in this situation in the first place? I don’t get it.

It’s too late.

I’m getting used to this. I should have gotten used to being pressed down, being powerless, being under someone’s control like this. I’ve always been that one small-sized person to be picked on, someone who serves other people. A marionette. That’s what I am.

I thought I have changed after all that had happened to me. I should have become stronger already at this point. No one should ever pin me down like this again. Now that I think about it, I’ve always been secondary. Mother has had fun torturing me, then I was saved by Rika. Even so, I had become her servant. Again, secondary.

Then RFA saved me–I was saved for the second time in my life. Saved, saved, saved. Is that the purpose of my life? To be saved? When will I save someone? When will I be primary, be the first person? Be the person who does something?

I met her again. The woman I had sent to start everything all over again. I’m not sure how should I feel about her at first. It’s complex. Sometimes I can’t even look at her chocolate eyes.

Ha. I really want to laugh right now. Look at me. I’m disgusted.


This one’s different.

I hate her. Yes. I hate her so, so, so much. I hate her for turning me into a marionette again. I hate her for doing what she’s doing to me right now. Not letting me breathe properly… what the hell are you thinking, woman? Are you insane?

I hate myself. I thought I hated my brother the most, but I was wrong. I hate myself even more. I hate myself the most. I hate my weak, pathetic, disgusting, imbecile self. I hate myself for not resisting. I hate myself for letting her turning me into a secondary person again.

Most of all, I hate myself for falling into her trap. I hate myself more than I hate her.

I’m losing myself. How?

I’m tired. I’m tired of thinking. Of questioning. Of denying. Should I give up then? Maybe I’ll try harder next time. When she’s not being this… affectionate.

I like it.

I don’t know. I’m not sure. I’m being a marionette again. I swore to myself that I’m going to be a better person and everything. Look at me. What am I doing? She’s playing with my strings and I give her my permission. Who’s really at fault here?

I don’t plan to stop her. This is funny. I hate her. She is able to destroy me. I hate it. For the first time tonight, I actually enjoy being a marionette.


Lips on skin. A kiss.

Teeth sinking in. A bite.

Hands stroking my cheek. My hair.

Thumb swiping my bottom lip.

Hand tracing my arm. Find its way to my hand.

Fingers entangle. Fit each other like a completed piece of puzzle.

Mint green meets chocolate. Mint choco chip? I must be out of my mind.

Woman, can’t you see? Can’t you see how much I’m suffering because of you right now?

My widened eyes, my slightly parted lips, my short breaths, my heart that is beating so fast it doesn’t feel like it’s beating at all anymore?

Do you want me to die? Just say so.

You can kill me right here, right now.

“Hold me.”

Her voice. It is dark. Just like the room we’re in.

And I obey her like a disgusting pathetic worthless servant fool I am.

Why? Why do I make everything so easy for her?

My brain stops working. Lack of oxygen.

I let her guide my other, free hand.

And she straight up kills me. She locks me up with her lips.

She moves. I gasp.

She moves. I stop breathing for some moment.

She moves. I die a little inside.

With each moves, she kills me. Little by little.

She sends her toxin through my spine, spreading all over my body.

I’m dizzy. The world is spinning.

I’m sweating. I’m draining. I’m dying.

She shows me no mercy. She hates me so much. She really wants to end my life.

I want to tell her to stop. But I can’t do anything. I’m practically in a coma.

No. Scratch that.

I don’t even want her to stop.

I don’t know what’s in my head at this point. I have completely lost control of myself.

She continues to intoxicate me until there’s too much toxin in my body, much more than I can handle.

I scream.

Probably one of the loudest scream that ever comes out of my mouth in my entire life.

I can’t do this anymore.

Sweating, panting, my vision turns blurry.

Her face is the last thing I remember before everything goes black.

I’m dead.


It’s way past midnight. I look at the clock and it shows me 2 AM. I sit on this bed with clouds of smoke surrounding me. Good thing I still carry it around. My brother would have been mad at me if he had seen me do this, but I don’t care anymore. It does a better job in calming my nerves down than he does.

I don’t get it. I don’t understand any of this. I thought I was going to die for real, but I just had my most peaceful sleep in forever, albeit not for long. I have so many things going on inside my head, it’s insane. With every smoke I breathe, one thing in my head comes outside.

At least I think it does.

From the very first moment, I don’t get it. What is this? What is all of this? Why did she invite me into her room? Why did I let her? Why did she do all these things to me? Why did I let her? I don’t understand her. I don’t understand myself either. We are both crazy.

I thought I hated people. I hate my brother. I hate RFA. I hate Rika. I hate everyone. But did I really hate them? Or I just thought I did? I thought I hated her, this brunette-haired woman. Seeing her face makes me sick. Sick of hatred? Sick of guilt? I don’t know.

So many questions, yet no answer. Am I going to have another one of those sleepless night?

I look at her. She’s sleeping. She looks so peaceful. Hands wrapping around my waist. I hate it. I hate her. It’s not fair. She is the one who does this to me. She is the reason why I can’t sleep. She builds all these questions in my head. It’s really unfair. She can have her sleep while I can’t even close my eyes.

And then she wakes up. Those chocolate eyes of hers open. She stares at me right away.

“Well hello there, night owl.”

I say nothing. I only return her stare and that’s all.

She chuckles. “My body pillow has to sleep.”

Body pillow? She addresses me as her body pillow? How dare she.

“I’m not your body pillow, woman.”

“But your body says otherwise.” She wraps me tighter. Now I hate her even more. “Can I hug you like this forever?”

This woman is insane. If I had known it sooner, I would’ve chosen another woman.

“No. You can’t.”

“Very well, then.”

She lets go of my waist and sits right beside me. We stare at each other for a while. Then she glances at my cigarette. She takes it from me just like that. Within seconds, she blows some smokes while looking at me.

I can’t do anything about it. Why is that? I’m angry with her. But it’s only in my head. I stare at her, watching her as she enjoys my cigarette. What is this? This view… why can’t I stop it?

“What makes you so nervous? Anxious? Hmm?”

I frown. “I’m not nervous nor am I anxious.”

She blows another smoke. Long and slow. “Don’t lie to me. Not many people know this but… I smoke when I get too nervous or anxious.”

“I’m not you.”

It must be an incorrect answer. She closes the gap between us. We have no distance until I can feel her breath touching my face.

“This cigarette tastes funny. Sweet. Like… apple caramel? Now I know what you’ve had before this.”

I roll my eyes. She is goddamn annoying. “Shut up.”

“I like it when you’re angry,” she says. Before I have the chance to do anything, she strokes my hair. Her fingers brush through each strand. Then she entangles them into her hand. She has fun playing with my hair. What is wrong with this woman? “I know you’re flustered. All of this… must be new to you.”

She blows another smoke.

“I can’t sleep as well. You might think that I was sleeping so peacefully earlier, but I wasn’t. As soon as you woke up, I did too.”

I stare at her. Should I tell her how I really feel? I have so much in my mind, it’s disturbing. I want to know what’s wrong with me, what’s happening to me, what’s the meaning of all this. God. I want to be free.

“I just want to sleep.” I say.

She looks at me. We stare at each other. Her hand is still on my hair. “Alright.”

She stubs out MY cigarette. But I don’t want to deal with it. She can do whatever she wants for all I care. Like I said before, I just want to sleep. If she can’t help me, nobody else can.

All of a sudden, she cups my face. Mint green meets chocolate again. “Not all people are bad. I know everything you’ve been through. I understand if it’s hard for you to trust someone ever again. But I will never hurt you. Take my word.” She says with her rough voice.

Hurt? Hurt me? I remember what happened to me before I fell asleep. I remember that I was dying. I couldn’t breathe. I was tortured. Abused? But why am I still here? I have no intention to leave. I don’t even have intention to flinch. Is it because I’ve already gotten used to being abused?

What kind of abuse was that? The kind of thing that makes me want to stay? Is that even possible? No. It was different. Mom yelled at me when she made those bruises, she clearly despises me. People at Mint Eye also yelled at me when they injected those needles into my skin. I was hurt really bad back then. Now that everything’s been done, I realize that Mint Eye was merely an illusion.

Tonight is different. I admit that I was tortured, but actually, it didn’t feel that bad. If she really were to kill me, I don’t mind being killed that way. At least it was better than ropes and needles. She kissed me, held me, touched me. No one has ever done things like that to me before.

At this point, I have given up. I’m tired of resisting. It costs a lot of energy, but is of no use. It’s far too late anyway. Just do everything you want to do to me, woman. Do as you please.

“You can have the best time of your life if it’s with the right person.” She whispered.

With that, she kisses me on my lips. I close my eyes. She kisses me again. Numerous times. Slowly. Passionately. She kisses my cheek, all the way down to my neck. Her one hand grabs and pulls my hair down, forcing me to tilt my head. I’m shutting down.

With every kiss and every touch, she sends me deeper and deeper into slumber. I’ve never been this serene for God knows how long. Even in my whole time when I devoted all of my body and soul to serve Mint Eye where I could find my paradise, I’ve never felt like this. I thought Mint Eye was my everything, but it was nothing compared to… this. Whatever torture this is, I… like it.

I’ve always been told that people are horrible creatures. They are sinners, made by the Devil to destroy Earth. Rika, Mint Eye, and I have the job to prevent those dirty rotten humans from ruining this world. They need to be cleansed. I believe in that, looking at my parents and then my brother.

But what about her?

And what about this? Are we sinners? Do we need to be punished? How much of a sin is this? Are we destroying the world by doing this? If this is what they call a sin, I understand why Satan willingly lives in hell for eternity. I choose this over whatever it is that’s been given to me in Mint Eye.

Rika always says that Mint Eye is a paradise because it’s free from pain and fear. Everyone there is supposed to be faithful, trustworthy, and honest. But those needles hurt me. But Rika herself betrays me in front of my brother. As for this woman… I have yet to see her betray me and hurt me. She never betrays me even if my brother is around us all the time. The thing that she has done to me earlier leaves me breathless, but at least it made me sleep.

Does that mean… this is a paradise?

“Feel sleepy now?”

Her voice. I’m already half-conscious. I can’t open my eyes. My head feels light. It’s like I’m not here anymore. But I can still feel it. Her kissing my face and my body while she pushes me gently onto the bed. I breathe slowly. She strokes my hair and caresses my cheek.

Is this what true paradise feels like?

I feel no pain. I feel no fear. Only peacefulness and contentment. No needles. No medications. No ropes. No bruises. No anything. Just me and her.

She kisses my forehead. “Goodnight, sleep tight, and have a nice dream, sleepyhead.” She whispered.

I don’t want to leave. I want to be in this paradise forever. This is the place I’m looking for

She lays herself down right beside me, pulling the covers up our bare skin. The night is cold. I’m almost shivering. Unconsciously, I wrap my arms around her as I keep her close to me. That way, we’ll be warm together.

It’s funny how the question and its answer lie on a same person.

Now that everything’s clear…

I’m asleep for real.

The End

P.S: Lolololol I’m sorry. Maybe someday I’ll write a real Saeran smut. Becauseapparentlysubmissivesaeranismynewestkink. Hohoho. Maybe… someday… a real dominant Saeran smut… who knows…

She has gone out, and she is far away, but I see her still, for all within this room is full of her, all is hers, and I just like the rest.

This bed, still warm, where my mouth is wandering now, is rumpled to the pattern of her body. In this soft pillow her little ringleted head has softly slept.

This is the basin where she oft has washed; this comb has smoothed the knots of her tangled hair. These slippers have held her little naked feet. This gauze bandeau restrained her swelling breasts.

But I dare not touch, even with my finger, this mirror in which she sees her burning bruises, and in which, perhaps, the image of her sweet moist lips is still reflected.

—  Absence, The Songs of Bilitis (1894).

Ayeee lemme contribute to the miraculous ladybug trash fandom

Presenting to you.. Adrien in his pajamas. I like to imagine that when he sleeps, his hair is as messy as chat noir (or even more messier) 

And yes he loves ladybug too much that he has a body pillow of her and a ladybug patterned boxers. 

You’re welcome  ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Time for some Undertale headcanon about everyone taking care of a sick Frisk because I’m at home sick from work today and everything is awful!!!

- Toriel is the undisputed champ of caring for sick kids. Making Frisk soup, reading them stories, keeping them comfy and warm in bed, she does it all. Her only flaw here is that she tends to be overprotective and fussy even after Frisk gets better and gets very strict about early bedtimes and taking vitamins and so on to keep Frisk healthy.

- Papyrus knows pretty much nothing about human illnesses and gets pretty panicked and flustered about Frisk being ill, especially when they refuse to eat all the get-well-soon spaghetti he just made for them. It must be serious if spaghetti can’t fix it!!!! Eventually he runs off in tears to find Sans because he’s sure his tiny human friend is dying. Later, after calming down and learning that Frisk isn’t dying, he keeps them entertained with some relatively quiet puzzles that he managed to throw together in the living room.

- Sans doesn’t know much about caring for sick humans either, but he figures Frisk should probably just try sleeping it off. He makes them all nice and cozy on the couch and gets Papyrus to calm down and stop crying so Frisk can rest in peace and quiet, and then just leaves them alone to sleep. He does stop by to check on them throughout the day though, just to make sure everything is okay.

Keep reading

The Unbearable Lightness of Being (Chapter 6 - What the Heart Wants)

Another submission! ———————— The following contains material for mature readers.]

CHAPTER 6: The Unbearable Lightness of Being

[“Making love with a woman and sleeping with a woman are two separate passions, not merely different but opposite. Love does not make itself felt in the desire for copulation (a desire that extends to an infinite number of women) but in the desire for shared sleep (a desire limited to one woman).”
― Milan Kundera, The Unbearable Lightness of Being]

Maks fidgets, fingers drumming on the arm rest, willing the plane to pull away from the gate. He has booked a LGA-LAX flight connecting to hers out of Salt Lake City. His transfer window is tight. The risk that he will miss her flight is worth the chance that he can be with her for an extra four hours. It has been three weeks since he has held her.


The first night without her started simply enough. He arrived home. He texted her. He took a shower. He ate dinner. She called him. And then he lay down.

His arms were empty, so useless without her. A deep ache began building in his chest. It spread inside him until his fists clenched from the hurt.

He got up and circled the bedroom; wandered down the stairs and out into the darkness. If he had ever thought he loved before he knew now he had been mistaken.

He tried to bring back the euphoria he had felt when she answered him, had whispered her vows. But the memory morphed into an void so profound he could find no answer for it.

The anxiety from contemplating and constructing the possibility that she might love him was nothing compared to this new visceral pain: knowing that he was hers and she was away from his embrace.

Maks drives himself harder than ever, trying to leave nothing but exhaustion at the end of each day. Surely the intensity of his loneliness will lessen.

“Babe, can we not talk at night anymore,” he finally asks her. “It just makes it too hard to… Sleep.”

She had agreed without making any attempt to comfort him. She knew what the solution was but it wasn’t possible, at least not soon enough.


“Okay,” Meryl says, nodding into her phone. “I have to check luggage anyway. I’ll wait until the final boarding call. They won’t fly if there are unaccompanied bags in the hold.”

“I’ll be there,” he promises.

As Maks runs through the airport, he hears,”Meryl Davis, please report to Terminal 2, Gate C-6, this is the final boarding call for flight Delta Air 1211 to LAX.”

“Maxim Chamovsky, please report to…”

She is holding the flight for him. C-1, C-2… And then he sees her, standing alone. Her arms are crossed tightly around her body as she scans the corridor.

“Meryl,” he calls, catching her attention. He does not slow down as he approaches. She starts to sidestep as his final strides bring him close, almost bracing for the impact of his body. His free arm wraps around her waist, lifting her. Her legs wrap around him. His momentum shifts as her weight spins them around until he is standing still. Her eyes laugh into his. He holds his lips against hers trying to calm his breathing until he can kiss her fully.

They stay like this awhile, oblivious to the sound of their names over the loudspeaker.

They are safe, even if the plane goes. They walk slowly toward the gate, their bodies pressed together.

“I couldn’t get a seat next to you,” he says. “I’ll take care of it.” Maks steps away but his fingers do not release hers. Ignoring the irritated expression of the flight attendant, he talks quickly, gesturing toward his heart, tugging at his hair. After a curt smile, the attendant walks ahead of them into the cabin.

Meryl watches Maks lift their bags overhead, reaches up to touch the skin exposed between his shirt and waistband. She grins as his eyes move quickly down to hers. One hand grabs her wrist as the other slams the door above closed. He sits, sliding almost into her seat, his hand keeping hers on his skin.

After takeoff, they turn to face each other. Meryl studies his face. “I’d hate to see the other guy.” Her fingertips trace the dark circles under his eyes.

“Just a lot to do before India.” He shakes his head. “I can’t sleep without you.”

“Hey, did I tell you that Val decided to go with Alex? They’ll be there while you’re there.”

It takes her moment to shift gears, but then she doesn’t. “I wish you were there while I’m there.”

When he feels the wheels hit the runway, he realizes he’s been sleeping. Meryl’s head lays against his chest. She hasn’t felt their return to earth. As the plane rolls into the gate, he doesn’t wake her. He will have her for this day and tomorrow. Dammit. If she delayed Hawaii they would have four more days before he left. Jenna would understand. He reorganizes her schedule in his mind. Her days on the islands would be shortened to three, then Japan for ten days, and he would be done in seven, leaving three… It’s an exercise in futility.

The day is half over by the time they settle into his apartment. After a quiet dinner, Meryl climbs into his lap, listening to him make some plans for the next day. When he sets his phone down, she kisses him, her lips closed, fitting them to his. It is many breaths before she moves away. She licks her lips. When they reconnect, that thin film of moisture compels him to pull her bottom lip between his. His lips part, his tongue softly answering hers. They continue this way, eyes sometimes open, sometimes closed; sometimes silent, and then accompanied by almost inaudible sounds that manage to ride on the exhalation of breath. Once in awhile, they break apart. Their hands stay lightly wrapped around each other’s necks and faces. They kiss for the pleasure of kissing, not as foreplay. They do not need a physical release. What is building inside them is even more rare, a sensation of fullness and joy that begins in their pounding hearts, an emotion that spreads through their brains and surprises away all thought.

Maks opens his eyes and she is looking back into them. “I love you,” he says. He outlines her lips with his fingers. How they had moved, when they had discovered sleep, he has no recollection.

He frowns at the sound of the television? He kisses her before sliding out of bed, out the door.

“Val? … What the hell…”

Val just points at the television. Maks watches the story break. A plane has been shot down over Ukraine. Early reports implicate the involvement of pro-Russian….”

Their eyes glance at Meryl as she moves into the room, her eyes fixed on the screen. She walks past Maks, leans to give Val a quick kiss and squeezes between them, drawing her knees to her chest. They sit in silence watching the news.

Finally… “Babe, come.” Maks stands, reaching for her hand. Get dressed, we gotta go.”

Turning to his brother, “Вы хотите поехать с нами?”

Meryl nods. “Пожалуйста?”

As they get ready, Meryl asks, “where are we going? I could ask Jenna to come, too?”

Maks shrugs… His invitation had been sincere but he had hoped Val would understand. Meryl’s plea couldn’t be rejected, though. “Yuh, that’s probably a good idea.”

“Tell her we need pick her up now…. And pack a bikini.” His smile barely reaches his eyes.

“She says she’s been packed for our Hawaii for days so she’s ready when we are.”

“Lyrem!!” Their moods are noticeably lightened with Jenna.

Alone at the end of the pier is the Contamessa I.

“Bro!,” Val exclaims as he and Jenna jog ahead to board the sailboat.

Maks pulls Meryl back. “Not really what I’d planned,” he says watching them disappear onto the boat. He kisses her neck before turning her to face him.

“…Maks.” Her eyes are bright with tears.

“Fully stocked,” yells Val as he waves a bottle of champagne at his brother. Maks rolls his eyes at Meryl. “He knows nothing,” he says shaking his head. “I didn’t plan for four. Hopefully Merv remembered your appetite and packed more.”

They sail that day in the company of all the versions of love. Family, friend, husband, wife.

As the sun moves toward the horizon, Maks feels the ache start to creep into his arms. He wants desperately to take Meryl below deck, strip away all their clothes, and hold her so tightly that when she leaves him, he will still feel her skin on his.

Meryl feels his mind tack. Settling against him she reaches for his hand. He lifts it before her fingers can wrap around his, wipes his lips. He knows what her touch is capable of and… right now…? He does not want to be calm and accepting. He wants to express his misery and frustration.

Agreeing on tomorrow’s schedule, they finally leave Val and Jenna to search for their own night.

Quiet driving home. Quiet as they slide into bed.

They make love in a desperate, almost angry way on the eve of their upcoming separation. He comes before her and rolls away too quickly. After a tension filled pause he moves his body back to hers and stares into her stoic face. “I love you, Baby… I’m sorry,” he whispers. She turns from him, curling her arms around her pillow. She wills herself to show him the separation that is once again inevitable.

She feels his fingers slowly move down her spine. She feels his mouth on the nape of her neck. She feels him shift up and knows he is looking down on her. As much as she wants to detach herself from him, she involuntarily arches, raising her hips almost imperceptibly off the bed. She knows her body has betrayed her. She presses her face into the pillow.

“I’m sorry, ” Maks murmurs, as his hand cups her shoulder blade. He slides her hair away from her neck a few strands at a time, his fingers damp with her perspiration.
“Meryl…” He starts. His voice is husky, like tears might be forming…

She starts to turn to face him but he presses his hand around her neck, keeping her from looking at him. She had expected his apology to take a more physical form but now she is alert, her mind slows down.

“I am your husband,” he continues slowly, the barest rise in inflection creates a question out of the statement. She nods into the pillow.

“I want to take care of you… All of you. I want to touch you like you have never been touched before.” She feels his hand slide around her neck, his thumb caresses her lips. His breath stutters as he almost smiles, realizing that she is biting her lip.

“I don’t mean physically,” he whispers, even while his palm slides along her sternum and his thumb swirls around her breast.

“I want to you to feel what I feel. I want our life to start. I’m so proud of you and all that is ahead of you. I know you’re leaving… And I’m going. I just want… need to know you will always come home, every day, to me.”

Maks strokes her arm and feels her skin rise with goosebumps under his fingertips. He feels her shoulders start to move with a small sob that shocks him into into a kind of guilt because he doesn’t know why she is crying.

“Maks,” she whispers, almost pleading for understanding.

They have never really talked about the day they had pledged their lives to each other. It had seemed so surreal. Born from an intensity that might not have been grounded in reality.

“I AM your wife.” Her words are so muffled by sheets she is clutching, he doesn’t understand them.

His hands trace the profile of her face. He continues… “I’m not afraid. Are you? I know… I know what you have with Charlie has no questions.” He’s veered off course.

She shakes her head. He doesn’t know. His words tell her that he doesn’t understand the truth. That her life has been filled with both fear and… selfishness. She knows no one will ever use these words to describe her. Only she suffers this knowledge. Even now, as she listens to him, she is considering the impact his dreams will have on her future.

She reaches for the understanding that the reason her life with Maks is so raw and intense and confusing and beautiful comes from her own deep desire for something she cannot control, cannot perfect with practice, cannot dictate, can relinquish to the strength of others.

He runs his hand through her hair. He strokes her temple. His thumb brushes her lips.

He closes his eyes, says, “I will give up everything to be with you.”

When she hears these words, she recoils at the implication, wonders at the strength of his conviction. She searches her mind to see if she has the selflessness, the love, to say the same.

“After Japan and India, can we go away together,” he asks. “Let me prove to you that we are real and forever…

Meryl lays still but her brain feels like it’s combusting. The trail his fingers leave feels like a burning fuse. Her mind considers their future. Her vows on the Contamessa II were a promise. She rarely makes promises. They are too frightening, too important. But she had said those words.

As her thoughts ricochet around in her brain, she realizes his question is still hanging in the air.

He has been speaking to her and she has been quiet for too long. He doesn’t care how long it takes for her to consider. Now that he has begun, a sense of calm patience settles over him.

His palm cups her knees pulling them upward until she is curled into ball, allowing her to protect herself from whatever she fears most.

His hand glides along her hips, her arm, before pressing into her forehead.

"I know you’re afraid.”

The pressure of his hand pulls her back and she feels his lips in her hair.

He is talking to the painfully shy, scared child that still lives inside her.

She will not cry. But then her frustration grows until she is. She clutches the sheets to her face, trying to regain some control over her emotions.

She begins to call for the great bear… But he does not come because he knows the fear she will give him has her face.

“Baby, please. Talk to me.”

Meryl finally twists through his arms and faces him. Her face is wet.

“I feel like everything I’ve done my whole life has been just for me,” she can barely get the words out. “I… Don’t have doubts about you.”

“I… Only I needed to escape my own fears and I found a way to do that on the ice.”

“Everyone has sacrificed so much. For my dreams.”

Her body stiffens as she begins to detach from her emotions… To try to give a calm analysis of her world.

“I have lived the most selfish life imaginable. So selfish I don’t even know how it would be to give purpose to anyone else’s.”

He holds her face.

“You are wrong. Whether you know it or not.”

With this glimpse, her admission, she has become even more powerful and alluring to him.

“Yes,” she says finally. “Let’s go away… ”

“Where will we go?” He asks…

“Far away… The seven seas.”

She feels his arms fold around her. An inescapable feeling of comfort envelopes her. His fingers brush her eyelids.

Her fingers mimic his, closing his eyes.

They sleep, their bodies intertwined.

Meryl’s eyes open an hour before the alarm is set to go.

With slowly dawning memory, she knows what transpired just hours ago was like waking up from a long, confusing dream. The intersection between mind and body, reality and hope, has always been blurred when it comes to her love of this man. Now she feels a great physical urgency as morning approaches. They will part soon and she needs to carry his thoughts, his words, his scent, his body, his love with her during their separation. She is exhausted from the intensity of the previous night. Her eyes are swollen from her tears. He had pushed her beyond her ability to contain…

Maks’ breathing is even and steady as he sleeps next to her. She doesn’t want to wake him but as her eyes glance at the red numbers on the clock, she knows these are her last moments with him before oceans and time zones separate them.

She leans in and inhales the smell of him into her nostrils; passes her hand over his chest without touching him. Catching the sheet that covers his hips, she uncovers his body. His nakedness exposed, she cannot stop herself from touching him. Her fingers graze his body beginning low along his belly before sliding down between his legs and lightly up along the softness of his penis. She watches as the blood surges into his groin. He shifts to accommodate his erection, his hand reaches down to adjust himself, but he remains asleep.

Sitting up, the sheets wrapped around her hips, amazed by her desire, she stares down at his sleeping form… Slowly, she bends down and lightly licks the tip of his hardening shaft. A low sound escapes his closed lips. She tastes the drop of salt that tells her, awake or not, his dream is real. The night will soon give way to daybreak. She wonders if his dreams are the same as her awake desire.

When his hand presses down on his stirring member it catches her hair between his fingers. She hears him say her name. He is just on the edge of consciousness.

She turns and lays back down, forming her back to his body. She hugs the cool pillow, making her intensely aware of his heat.

She feels his hand slide between the pillow and her stomach, traveling down until his fingers slide between her legs.

“You’re awake?"…

In silent answer he moves his hardness into her back.

She presses her hips into his fingers as his free hand swirls her hair into his fist. Her knees spread apart as she raises her hips, her buttocks press into his stomach. She feels his cock poised between her legs. “I love you, Meryl,” he says as his hand slides down along her throat. Her body begins to move as his fingers caress her nipples. His fingers find her belly button and with one slow circle she feels a sharp, painful desire in her groin. When he slides his fingers into her she releases almost immediately… And then again and…

As they make love, it feels beautiful and fragile. They hold each other and repeat the vows they made to each other. Their reaffirmations are full of hope and also the knowledge of all that is good and all that is terrible.


Jenna boards, sensing their need to be alone.

"I love you.”

As she disappears, he realizes this is the first time she has said those words to him.

It is like she has struck a bargain with something unknown. He is filled with elation… And then an emotion akin to fear.

anonymous asked:

I have a cousin who's a weaboo, but she doesn't know it.She even tried to order a body pillow off amazon with her mom's account.Anime and Japanese culture has taken over her life!help plz


anonymous asked:

I love your fluff headcanons! uwu um could you do F!Kamui/Nishiki one?

Aw, thanks Anon! Nishiki is an absolute cutie.

  • He’s always working to repay debts, so sometimes he doesn’t spend as much time with Kamui as he wants to. It’s really admirable what he does, Kamui doesn’t put much thought into it.
  • Kamui thinks she may be picking up the grooming habit from him.
  • Nishiki’s favorite past time is playing with Kamui’s hair. He likes the feeling of running his fingers through her hair. It’s calming, and Kamui likes how it feels.
  • Nishiki is very gentle when it comes to handling Kamui, because he doesn’t want to accidentally hurt her.
  • He considers her marrying him a great favor that she did for him, so he’s constantly trying to repay her by being the best husband. Always being there for her, there to give her little pick me up presents, a human body pillow, fox-back rides.
  • Nishiki has a habit of nuzzling Kamui. No hugs, just him pressing his body against her’s.
  • Nishiki always takes Kamui out on nature walks in their free time. Nishiki enjoys being out in the open, and Kamui could use a bit of fresh air from time to time.
  • Whenever Kamui is least expecting it, Nishiki appears to throw himself onto her. He has such a childish aura that brightens everyone’s day, Kamui can’t ever get mad at him.
  • Whenever Kamui is feeling down, Nishiki always cheers her up. Sometimes he doesn’t even realize it himself, until Kamui tells him. Then he’s happy that he did her a kindness.
  • Nishiki loves belly rubs and acts like a spoiled fox every now and then. Kamui loves how his ears twitch.
  • His promise to always be by Kamui’s side was no joke, and is not a force to be trifled with. Ever since their marriage, Nishiki has always been seen besides Kamui with a dorky grin.
  • Like Flannel, he occasionally licks instead of kisses.
  • Nishiki’s ears being accidentally brushed against and he let’s out the lewdest moan surprising both him and Kamui.