and he likes carrots

When I was nine, possibly ten, an author came to our school to talk about writing. His name was Hugh Scott, and I doubt he’s known outside of Scotland. And even then I haven’t seen him on many shelves in recent years in Scotland either. But he wrote wonderfully creepy children’s stories, where the supernatural was scary, but it was the mundane that was truly terrifying. At least to little ten year old me. It was Scooby Doo meets Paranormal Activity with a bonny braw Scottish-ness to it that I’d never experienced before.

I remember him as a gangling man with a wiry beard that made him look older than he probably was, and he carried a leather bag filled with paper. He had a pen too that was shaped like a carrot, and he used it to scribble down notes between answering our (frankly disinterested) questions. We had no idea who he was you see, no one had made an effort to introduce us to his books. We were simply told one morning, ‘class 1b, there is an author here to talk to you about writing’, and this you see was our introduction to creative writing. We’d surpassed finger painting and macaroni collages. It was time to attempt Words That Were Untrue.

You could tell from the look on Mrs M’s face she thought it was a waste of time. I remember her sitting off to one side marking papers while this tall man sat down on our ridiculously short chairs, and tried to talk to us about what it meant to tell a story. She wasn’t big on telling stories, Mrs M. She was also one of the teachers who used to take my books away from me because they were “too complicated” for me, despite the fact that I was reading them with both interest and ease. When dad found out he hit the roof. It’s the one and only time he ever showed up to the school when it wasn’t parents night or the school play. After that she just left me alone, but she made it clear to my parents that she resented the fact that a ten year old used words like ‘ubiquitous’ in their essays. Presumably because she had to look it up.

Anyway, Mr Scott, was doing his best to talk to us while Mrs M made scoffing noises from her corner every so often, and you could just tell he was deflating faster than a bouncy castle at a knife sharpening party, so when he asked if any of us had any further questions and no one put their hand up I felt awful. I knew this was not only insulting but also humiliating, even if we were only little children. So I did the only thing I could think of, put my hand up and said “Why do you write?”

I’d always read about characters blinking owlishly, but I’d never actually seen it before. But that’s what he did, peering down at me from behind his wire rim spectacles and dragging tired fingers through his curly beard. I don’t think he expected anyone to ask why he wrote stories. What he wrote about, and where he got his ideas from maybe, and certainly why he wrote about ghosts and other creepy things, but probably not why do you write. And I think he thought perhaps he could have got away with “because it’s fun, and learning is fun, right kids?!”, but part of me will always remember the way the world shifted ever so slightly as it does when something important is about to happen, and this tall streak of a man looked down at me, narrowed his eyes in an assessing manner and said, “Because people told me not to, and words are important.”

I nodded, very seriously in the way children do, and knew this to be a truth. In my limited experience at that point, I knew certain people (with a sidelong glance to Mrs M who was in turn looking at me as though she’d just known it’d be me that type of question) didn’t like fiction. At least certain types of fiction. I knew for instance that Mrs M liked to read Pride and Prejudice on her lunch break but only because it was sensible fiction, about people that could conceivably be real. The idea that one could not relate to a character simply because they had pointy ears or a jet pack had never occurred to me, and the fact that it’s now twenty years later and people are still arguing about the validity of genre fiction is beyond me, but right there in that little moment, I knew something important had just transpired, with my teacher glaring at me, and this man who told stories to live beginning to smile. After that the audience turned into a two person conversation, with gradually more and more of my classmates joining in because suddenly it was fun. Mrs M was pissed and this bedraggled looking man who might have been Santa after some serious dieting, was starting to enjoy himself. As it turned out we had all of his books in our tiny corner library, and in the words of my friend Andrew “hey there’s a giant spider fighting a ghost on this cover! neat!” and the presentation devolved into chaos as we all began reading different books at once and asking questions about each one. “Does she live?”— “What about the talking trees” —“is the ghost evil?” —“can I go to the bathroom, Miss?” —“Wow neat, more spiders!”

After that we were supposed to sit down, quietly (glare glare) and write a short story to show what we had learned from listening to Mr Scott. I wont pretend I wrote anything remotely good, I was ten and all I could come up with was a story about a magic carrot that made you see words in the dark, but Mr Scott seemed to like it. In fact he seemed to like all of them, probably because they were done with such vibrant enthusiasm in defiance of the people who didn’t want us to.

The following year, when I’d moved into Mrs H’s class—the kind of woman that didn’t take away books from children who loved to read and let them write nonsense in the back of their journals provided they got all their work done—a letter arrived to the school, carefully wedged between several copies of a book which was unheard of at the time, by a new author known as J.K. Rowling. Mrs H remarked that it was strange that an author would send copies of books that weren’t even his to a school, but I knew why he’d done it. I knew before Mrs H even read the letter.

Because words are important. Words are magical. They’re powerful. And that power ought to be shared. There’s no petty rivalry between story tellers, although there’s plenty who try to insinuate it. There’s plenty who try to say some words are more valuable than others, that somehow their meaning is more important because of when it was written and by whom. Those are the same people who laud Shakespeare from the heavens but refuse to acknowledge that the quote “Some are born great, some achieve greatness, and some have greatness thrust upon them“ is a dick joke.

And although Mr Scott seems to have faded from public literary consumption, I still think about him. I think about his stories, I think about how he recommended another author and sent copies of her books because he knew our school was a puritan shithole that fought against the Wrong Type of Wordes and would never buy them into the library otherwise. But mostly I think about how he looked at a ten year old like an equal and told her words and important, and people will try to keep you from writing them—so write them anyway.

6

yousef acar lockscreens!!

please like or reblog if u save and don’t repost

Gritty looney tunes reboot where bugs is a hit man who always asks “what’s up doc” before killing a target. It’s really cool when he does it. He also holds a carrot like a cigar, which I think is an original idea to the au. Thoughts?

nighty knight✨

anonymous asked:

this is no request, but where do you think bts would meet their girlfriends?

shame this isn’t a request because it’s a good one.

seokjin:

  • at the supermarket.
  • seokjin is the most outgoing towards strangers of the bunch so i feel like he’d be the most likely to strike up conversation with someone. 
  • by the vegetables.
  • maybe you’re giggling to yourself because that carrot looks like it has a nose.
  • maybe he shows you a frowny potato.
  • holds up a beet like “i’m feeling pretty upbeet today.”
  • “you deserve a beeting for that one.”
  • “oh, can you hear my heartbeet?”
  • “okay, let’s not beet around the bush.”
  • next thing you know he’s making you dinner.

yoongi:

  • coffee shop.
  • idk maybe the baristas keep confusing your orders because you always drink the same thing.
  • maybe you have to share a table when the shop is full.
  • maybe you start talking in the queue about the shop’s terrible music.
  • maybe you spill his coffee once and have to buy him another.
  • or maybe you’re the cute barista that always tries to cheer him up a bit when he comes in for coffee four times a day.
  • all i know is yoongi drinks a lot of coffee.
  • so that’d be the place he’s most likely to interact with new people.

namjoon:

  • the park.
  • it’s no secret where namjoon likes to go to be by himself.
  • maybe you share a bench.
  • or the shade of a tree.
  • maybe you’re both reading the same book.
  • or maybe you tell him you like his outfit.
  • either way he’d be thrilled to have an interest in common.
  • and will talk your ear off because the boy is passionate ok.
  • and he has a lot to say about the author, or how he put his outfit together this morning.
  • and before you know it you’re going to thrift shops looking for something unique and cafés to read and talk amongst yourselves.

hoseok:

  • exhibition.
  • you’re at a gallery or museum and so is he.
  • maybe you have an itching question about one of the pieces and end up discussing it with him.
  • maybe he asks you to take his picture.
  • eventually you go get coffee to talk about this and other exhibits you’ve attended.
  • and meet up again to go see a new exhibition together.

jimin:

  • through dance.
  • let’s just say i’d be very surprised if jimin doesn’t end up with a dancer of some sort.
  • dance is jimin’s first love in so many ways and he spends a lot of his time practicing.
  • i think he’d like someone he could share that with, someone he can both work and play with.
  • maybe you share a studio.
  • maybe you attend a workshop together.
  • maybe you work with him.
  • maybe he helps you with a particularly difficult routine.
  • or maybe one of you sees the other perform and talks to the other after.
  • and soon enough you’re doing couple choreography.

taehyung:

  • in the line to the bathroom.
  • idk but put taehyung in a line of people waiting quietly and it’s only a matter of time before he starts a conversation.
  • he’ll open up with a simple comment about your hair.
  • or shoes 
  • or a complex fact about space that namjoon told him the other day.
  • and if you respond well to it, congratulations you have a new friend.
  • so you exchange numbers.
  • going from there is the tricky part, especially when he gives you the cold shoulder and tries very hard to act cool.
  • but if he thinks you’re cute it’s gonna show.

jungkook:

  • arcade.
  • you just came to get rid of some spare change but this boy came to WIN.
  • it’s quite a sight tbh he really shows that basketball game who’s boss.
  • so you go shoot some hoops on the game next to him, and things start getting pretty competitive when the game announces your points.
  • when you’re done he’s like “good game.”
  • “lol i surrender, you’re too good at this.”
  • next thing you know you’re shooting zombies together.
  • and jungkook kicks your ass in dance dance revolution.
  • but he wins you a plushie from a claw machine to make it better.

screaminghyuk  asked:

hi mom your blog is my favourite on tumblr i love your writing so SO much!! if and when you have the time can you do the neighbour au for vixx? if it's too much then the maknae line will do (i've read all of your stuff multiple times over + you're the reason im into seventeen and got7 ily) thank you in advance!!

omg this is so sweet thank you so much!!
im glad you’ve come to love 17+got7!!!

Ravi 

  • sometimes he doesn’t leave his apartment for days. you can tell because his mailbox overflows but you can hear the music from his apartment for like a week straight,,,,,,,and then sometimes you’ll see him leaving his place at like 3 am dressed like he’s going to a Very Fancy club 
  • “it’s the life of a composer,,,,,,,i don’t sleep for like ever and when i finish i have to go and get drunk with the person who paid me to write the song”
  • his apartment is essentially his recording studio, all the instruments and his computer are in the living room and it’s so crowded he bumps into his piano everytime he tries to get to the kitchen
  • likes collecting those little lego figurines and they’re like everywhere. on his computer, above his microwave, probably in his bathroom near his shampoo
  • wears some,,,,,,,,interesting outfits that always become the talk of the block
  • likes to try and keep everything clean but at some point he’s so into work he doesn’t realize he’s spilled cola under his desk chair and the laundry hasn’t been done since hyuk got a solo i mean what now
  • you know ravi is a composer,,,,but you aren’t really sure what that entails
  • until your best friend hakyeon, who happens to be close to ravi is over at your place and is handing a list that is titled “how to keep ravi alive” and you’re like what
  • and hakyeon is like,,,,im going on a trip to europe for a month and usually i check in on ravi when he writes but i won’t be here and everyone is busy and i need to make sure he at least eats something,,,,but i can’t so please,,,,,,,,,,,,,,do this for me
  • and you wanted to refuse at first because you don’t even know ravi
  • but hakyeon is a sweet person and he promises he’ll come back with something nice from europe for you so you decide fine, how hard can it be to just check up on a person
  • TURNS OUT when it’s ravi it is kind of hard
  • because the first day you literally come into his home and try to introduce yourself 4 times before you realize he’s so sucked into his computer he can’t even hear you
  • you check his fridge and there’s just,,,,,some old wine and like???? take out that smells Suspicious
  • and you throw it out and come out of the kitchen to tell ravi he needs to eat but then he looks up at you and screams because hOw DID you gET in here,,,,,and you’re like IVE BEEN HERE FOR HALF AN HOUR and ravi is like?????? i never noticed
  • but he apologizes as soon as you explain what hakyeon told you and he’s like embarrassingly rubbing his neck like,,,,oh don’t listen to hyung im fine on my own
  • but you think about his refrigerator and how sunken-in his eyes look from probably not having sleep and you’re like ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,no i think hakyeon was right you need someones help
  • so you grocery shop and you buy coffee, red bull, energy supplements - whatever he needs to stay up
  • and hakyeon is only gone for a month but in that month you get to know ravi better than most people
  • how he works tirelessly, day and night, on 5 seconds of a song. how he gets angry with himself for not being able to write a melody. how he refuses to sleep until he’s met his goal
  • and the perseverance and creativity in him really shocks you because wow,,,,you’ve been living next to such a hard-working and talented person and you never even knew it
  • but also ravi you’ve worn those basketball shorts 4 days in a row take them off please
  • at one point you asked if ravi had brushed his teeth and he said something you couldn’t even understand so you went to the bathroom, came back with his brush and a cup of water and were like “open up”
  • and ravi was like ????? and you were like “ill brush your teeth while you work”
  • and it was,,,,,,,,,,oddly very intimate
  • and ravi may or may not have suffered like (3) mini heart-attacks
  • but when hakyeon comes back and ravi is done with his song you revert back to being,,,,,,just neighbors
  • until ravi needs to shut himself in for work again and you get a call from hakyeon where he’s like “you need to know something, ive been trying to make sure ravi is ok this past week but he keeps calling me by your name and when i tell him hello - im hakyeon he lets out a deep sigh and long story short i think ravi grew an attachment to you”
  • and you’re like??????? me????? but also,,,,,,,,you can’t help but smile a little
  • and you go next door and let yourself in and you’re like “ravi?” and you see he’s asleep with his head on his desk and you go over to get a blanket to cover him with but when you do, tucking it around his shoulders
  • you hear him murmur something low and you lean in closer and hear him say thank you along with your name
  • and when you come back to check on him again in a couple hours he’s awake and seeing you, it makes him actually stand up from his computer (something he does not do often when he works)
  • and he’s glowing, his sharp features all turning soft as he sees you
  • and you’re like “hakyeon told me you missed me” and ravi is like “AH,,,,well,,,,,,,kind of,,,,,i just,,,hakyeon nags at me and you were nice to me-”
  • and you get this smug look on your face and ravi is faltering under it and you’re like “here i brought some fruits over for you to snack on, but also -”
  • and you press a paper slip into his palm and ravi’s eyes widen and you’re like “it’s my number, so you can call me instead of hakyeon”
  • and you don’t see it as you go into the kitchen with the fruit but ravi literally gathers what little energy he has to do a little happy shimmy dance
  • and he tapes your number to the side of his computer screen and whenever he looks at it he gets this goofy grin on his face,,,,,,,,,because hehe,,,,,,,i have my crush’s number,,,,,

Hongbin 

  • only person in vixx who makes his bed in the morning 
  • lives a pretty simple and clean life, likes consistency and has one of those big calendars on his wall where he writes down all his future plans and probably even has like a workout schedule
  • park hyo shin album shrine in his bedroom complete with framed autograph
  • the type to have like candles ,,,,,,, that are in the shapes of like flowers it’s cute
  • bunnies have always reminded me of hongbin so maybe if he lived apart from vixx he’d have one that he jokingly names like wonshik but no no it’s real name is something cute like whatever the korean is for like carrot soup or something LOL
  • idk why but he likes pastel polka dots imagine him with pastel polka dot bed sheets he’s such a cute person
  • people are always surprised that he doesn’t have like,,,,,one billion mirrors in his house because like how can one Not look at a face like that
  • but in reality those kind of things make hongbin really shy,,,,,,like he’s just like,,,,im not handsome and everyone in the building is like IF that isn’t the biggest lie i have Ever heard with my own two ears
  • everyone in the neighborhood has a crush on him. it’s unavoidable. it’s hongbin fever
  • you’ve lived next door to him for a longtime so you guys are pretty familiar with each other,,,,,but the problem is everytime he meets one of your friends. they fall for him
  • and end up begging to come over just for a glimpse of him and then when they try to ask him out
  • hongbin awkwardly like ,,,,makes up an excuse as to why he can’t date them and they get sad and you’ve seen this happen five times and you’re just like ?????????? what is his type ????? what is he looking for???
  • but you’re not gonna ask him that because well like That’s Rude 
  • but one night you actually end up over at his place because your tv broke,,,,and the premire of your favorite drama is on and hongbin was kind enough to let you in to watch it
  • and during a long commercial break you look down to see hongbin sitting at the table, writing down something and you decide that hey you’ll never have another chance to be alone like this with him
  • so you lower the volume a bit and you’re like “can i ask you something?”
  • and he nods without looking up and you’re like,,,,,, “ive lived across from you for like four years and ive never seen you,,,,,,,with someone,,,,that wasn’t from your friend group and this is probably super invasive but - are you seeing someone?”
  • and hongbin’s eyes go wide and he like looks up in silence
  • and you’re like “,,,,,,is it like an arranged marriage thing????? am i asking too much this is rude im sor-”
  • and hongbin shakes his head and is like “no,,,,,i just,,,,,,,,,” and you’re like ?????? and he kind of sadly laughs
  • and is like “,,,,,the person i like hasn’t come to a realization yet.”
  • and you’re shocked because hongbin. prince of your neighborhood. actual living art is harboring a one-sided love????
  • and you can’t help yourself you’re like “who is that blind? i mean,,,,,,,,anyone who looks at you is enchanted”
  • and hongbin laughs because that’s what he does. compliments make him shy
  • but then you go back to watching your drama and you don’t notice hongbin has stopped writing and suddenly you hear in a very quiet voice: “were you,,,,,,enchanted by me?”
  • and you look down at him and you’re like “are you asking if i liked you?”
  • and hongbin swallows a lump in his throat but builds up the courage to nod his head and you’re like “of course,,,,,,but i knew it was a longshot i mean ,,,,,,,,do you know how popular you are? it’s like falling for an idol-”
  • but suddenly hongbin is up and he’s like “don’t say that.” and you’re like is he embarrassed??????whats going on??????
  • but he just takes a seat next to you and he’s like “it’s you,,,,you’re the one i wanted to confess to me.”
  • and you’re so shocked,,,,,,you literally drop the remote and hongbin is getting red the longer you stare at him wide-eyed
  • until you’re like looking over at the tv and the drama is a kissing scene and then you look back at hongbin and you’re red now too
  • and you’re both red and there’s kissing in the background but you know what there should be some kissing in this apartment too
  • because you both like each other so why not
  • but when you do kiss him you’re like wait. wait. is this real did i fever dream this-
  • and hongbin takes your hand and puts it on his face and he’s like “it’s real.”

Hyuk

  • big tall meme 
  • who can’t figure out how to cook a meal for himself but can reboot a computer and probably fix your tv in less than ten minutes
  • for the sake of this au,,,,hyuk is Nerd. as in his whole apartment is full of like action figures and comic books and video games and dirty socks and,,,,,half eaten bags of potato chips, opened cans of redbull
  • your usual college boy whose friends are all part of the e-sports club at school like c’mon
  • of course how could i forget, his movie collection of sci-fi alien flicks is the only thing that’s organized on his bookshelf
  • everyone in the building comes to him for help like the ladies need help with their broken microwaves and hairdryers while the dads don’t get why their son managed to break the new computer (hyuk looking at the sticky keyboard: uh,,,,)
  • and he does it for free for elders but the teenagers who go to him to learn how to game or upgrade their setups he’s like “my work isn’t cheap. 20 bucks an hour on nothing.”
  • hakyeon: stop pandering from teenagers
  • hyuk: ,,,,,,i have no idea what you are talking about *hiding his piggy bank which literally says ‘money from gamer nerdz’ jokes jokes
  • you know hyuk is handy with,,,,,electric stuff and whatnot so when your lights go out in the middle of the night even though you paid all your utilities like last week,,,,you know the man to go to
  • and when hyuk opens the door you’re like “whats up, my lights are out and im not sure if it’s a fuse box thing or -”
  • and hyuk is like “i got you let me come over”
  • but as you’re walking through the hall of your apartment you realize, you don’t have a flashlight and you’re like my phone is somewhere on my sofa,,,,,let me fell around
  • but you have literally zero light and it’s night out and you think you’re heading toward your sofa but you feel something soft standing in your way
  • and you’re like touching it and you’re like it’s soft,,,,but hard???
  • and warm????
  • wait is that t-shirt
  • and you’re like hold up
  • “hyuk??? am i touching you????”
  • hyuk: “yep”
  • you: “why didn’t you stop me what th-”
  • hyuk: “it was fine, i liked it.”
  • and you turn pink, thankful for the lights off and want to swat his hand but you don’t know where that is until you feel his hand take your wrist
  • and he takes his phone out of his pocket and shines it on you and you’re like heY
  • and he’s like “hehe cute” and you’re like excuse me what
  • and hyuk is like “nothing, lead the way”
  • and when you get to the fuse box you hold the phone and see hyuk work with the wires. you notice the light shading his handsome face, a set jawline and wow,,,,his height????
  • and you’re like this is the first time im looking at hyuk and going ‘he’s hot’ what the HECK is wrong with me
  • and hyuk finishes in under five minutes and all your lights turn back on and he smiles
  • and it’s so,,,,,cute his nose is adorable did you just notice that??? why are you having all of these thoughts about your neighbor??
  • and he’s like “all done. how’d you like to pay me?”
  • and you’re like “i think i have some cash- but,,,,”
  • and hyuk grins because he’s like “yes,,,,,i don’t want cash”
  • and you’re like oh,,,,,,,,and you’re like “ok lean down-”
  • and hyuk does super duper excited that he’s about to get a kiss
  • but instead you pinch his cheek and go “ill order us pizza, don’t think im easy han sanghyuk.”
  • and with that you turn around and hyuk is just like: that was sexy 
  • you: shuttup what kind of toppings do you want?

skam characters + food

mahdi: don’t try to cut in line in front of him on waffle day

isak: knows the latin name of every veggie. master of unfreezing freezers. the height of his decorating talent is when he makes ketchup smileys on cheese toasties

eva: uses an unholy amount of liquor every time she cooks

noora: touch her fishcakes and she won’t be kind. always.

even: recreates food from movie classics, insists on making spagetti just to be able to share the last piece with isak and end it with a kiss

vilde: has a spitting problem makes cat-shaped cookies. has a controversial relationship with potatoes

chris: only makes food you can eat with a spoon. queen of juggling eggs

eskild: everything he bakes is dick-shaped. loves to use lavender

sana: considers the best part of cooking when she gets to throw things in the bin from a distance like she would do on a basketball court

magnus: messy, but surprisingly good at cooking not unlike at sex

jonas: the kebab place is the only capitalist establishment he appreciates

yousef: likes to dance while making carrot cakes. always makes a dozen pieces of everything as practice for his family football team

mikael: gets lost in supermarkets, never finds the food section

Dating Chris’ characters:

Malachai ‘Kai’ Parker: This guy is batshit crazy. He would literally kill for you and maim anyone who insults you and then draw hearts on the walls with blood for you. He will call you just to say hi and listen to your voice. He will take you on an airplane ride and take you to his childhood home just so he can cook you thanksgiving dinner (his favorite holiday). He’ll look at you with those sexy eyes and whisper to you with those plump lips. He would push you against the wall and do all the right moves. He would buy you a teddy bear on your birthday. This is the kind of guy that would totally be turned on by the idea of you chaining him to the bed to ‘punish’ him.

Mon-El: This one is an actual outer-space stray puppy that is obsessed with red vines. This guy will be there for you when you need a shoulder to cry on, cuddle you and plant kisses on you forehead. He’ll stare at you those big blue puppy eyes and take you dancing. He’s the kinda guy that will bring you carrots for flowers on your anniversary because he liked the color orange. He will call you blobby babe any chance he gets and compare your eyes to the stars. He will help you make pancakes only to accidentally throw flour all over both of you. But you can’t possibly be mad at him so you just kiss his white flour lips.

Jake Riley: Oh tortured Jake Riley. He’s the kind of guy that will fall for you but will not admit it because he believes he’s not good enough for you. He’ll flirt with you wearing a pair of weird glasses. He’s the kind of guy that will take a bullet for you. You’ll stare as he changes from his hot sweaty police suit and get in the shower with him. He’ll ask you out on a date and the date will consist of a cute little picnic on the roof and him singing to you. This is the kind of guy that will grow old with you and hold your hand and tell you how much he loves you on your last day. You’ll tell him to smile more because he doesn’t know how beautiful he looks when he smiles. He’s basically a ball of sunshine that you can’t live without.

(P.S Not my gifs)