and he just doesn't know what to do

Nikola Tesla is the greatest b/c he loved pigeons and science and wanted to provide people with electricity at low cost but he was also lowkey trying to build a death beam. 

3

May or may not do a mini-series of this McHanzo!Au.

I have so many headcanons, some really happy.
… And some really really sad.

But don’t worry, everything’s gonna end well. <3

(ノ◕ヮ◕)ノ*:・゚✧ Happy MerMay!

anonymous asked:

My bf just found out I'm a witch and he doesn't like it. He's already had me deactivate my side blog (not the one you called someone out on btw). I love him so much, and I know he loves me too, but I don't want to stop my witchcraft... What can I do?

that doesn’t sound like love, fuck that guy tbh

  • me: *makes one post saying i'm more worried about jewish people in the current political climate, than i am of pewdiepie potentially losing money after making antisemitic jokes*
  • you demons, flooding my inbox: pewdiepie is an innocent 27 year old child, and if you watched his videos instead of listening to all the lies the evil mainstream media feeds you you'd know this! he wasn't being antisemitic, he was just paying poor foreign people to humiliate themselves by writing antisemitic hate speech on a sign! all those times he made antisemitic jokes in the past doesn't count, because they're just jokes! he even made a half-assed apology video were he spent half of the time whining about how unfairly the media is treating him, what more do you want? also here's an endless amount of #standwithpewdiepie videos you have to watch where famous youtubers defends him, never mentions the recent rise in antisemitism, and plays into the alt-right narrative that all mainstream media is fake news! so as you can see, pewdiepie has never done anything wrong, and if you as much as imply otherwise you're being a mean bigot who need's to be taught a lesson in respect™ from markiplier :)
Batfam as things my coworkers have said
  • Bruce, overheard on the phone as he's leaving WE: Wait, your brother is at work? (...) Oh thank god, that means I can sleep when I get home.
  • ---------------
  • Dick, giving Duke a tour of the Batcave: I'm sure you'll fit in just fine. Everyone's really nice here. Except for Jason.
  • Jason, from across the cave: That's messed up!
  • ---------------
  • Stephanie: *sees Cass's hand is bandaged up* Oh my god, are you okay?
  • Cass: Yeah, I just stabbed myself. It's fine.
  • ---------------
  • Tim: What, you think that because you're bootylicious, you can do whatever you want?
  • Jason, nodding: Yeah, pretty much.
  • ---------------
  • Damian: Alfred knows everything, he just pretends that he doesn't.
  • Alfred: Well, somebody needs to know something around here.
  • ---------------
  • Stephanie, inspecting Tim's under-eye circles: You need some makeup, fam. That shit is unsettling.
  • ---------------
  • Dick, to Roy: I hereby name you an official member of the family!
  • Jason: It's a trap, dude. You don't wanna be part of this family.
  • ---------------
  • Tim: Has anyone seen my coffee?
  • All: No.
  • Tim: Looks like it sucks to be Steph today. *picks up Stephanie's coffee and walks away*
  • ---------------
  • Duke: You've gotta be crazy to work here.
  • Jason: You don't HAVE to be crazy. We can always train you.
  • ---------------
  • WE Employee: *walks into Bruce's office to hear a loud alarm coming from his computer while Bruce fills out paperwork, seemingly unperturbed*
  • WE Employee: How can you just sit there and listen to that?
  • Bruce: Do you have any idea how many kids I have?
6

Sans got so scared he opened his mouth

Bonus:

4

Robert Sugden + The Nicola King Face™

Got7 at the grocery store
  • Mark: The minimum effort shopper. Everything in his cart has easy microwave directions or the word "instant" somewhere on the packaging. Buys one bag of baby carrots so he can claim he's eating healthy when his mom asks.
  • Jaebum: The "cool" shopper. Writes a list but forgets it at home, then panics inwardly and buys way more than he needs just in case. That guy who tries to carry 20 bags at once just so he won't have to make two trips.
  • Jackson: The impulsive shopper. Buys a bunch of vegetables because they look good and he wants to eat healthy but doesn't know what to do with them once he gets home. Claims to have a sixth sense for picking the best produce. Buys a bunch of stuff he doesn't need because it was on sale and he can't pass up a deal.
  • Jinyoung: The smart shopper. Writes a list, clips coupons, brings reusable shopping bags. Budgets plenty of time so he can go slowly and be thorough. Counts his change after he gets it from the cashier.
  • Youngjae: The eccentric shopper. Doesn't write a list because he claims he'll remember everything. Spends the whole time walking back and forth across the store as he remembers things he'd forgotten. Sings while he shops, and pauses to say hello to every baby he sees.
  • Bambam: The "mission impossible" shopper. Writes a list, but you'll never see him use it, because he knows all his recipes by heart. In and out in twenty minutes flat. That guy who almost takes someone out with his cart because he turned a corner too quickly.
  • Yugyeom: The freeform shopper. List? Never heard of it. Goes to the store because his cupboards are bare, but won't know what he wants to buy until he sees it. Ends up taking a few hours to shop because he keeps stopping to help short people get things from high shelves.

when there’s a girl who finally likes you and you think she’s going to confess to you but you like another girl so before she gets the chance to tell you she likes you, you start telling her how there’s another girl who you like but then an older city boy appears and you assume it’s her boyfriend and that you completely misunderstood the situation

doors in survival horror/horror vidya
  • Silent Hill: The door is rusted shut. It also has no knob and isn't real. None of these doors are. What, did you think we'd let you in any of these doors? Fucking idiot.
  • Resident Evil: This door requires an absurdly specific key only obtainable by doing an absurd puzzle. Why is everything in this building fucking locked?
  • Resident Evil 4: Just kick the door in half. You don't give a fuck. Fuck this guy's house, it's my house now.
  • Haunting Ground: Go print out some words on a stone printer. They're like keycards. But rocks.
  • Rule of Rose: Some little fucker is going to shut the door on you. What a prick.
  • Dino Crisis: I hope you like scrabble.
  • Dino Crisis 2: It seems that someone misplaced a large vehicle into this door. Go find a key in a pond to open the other door.
  • Fatal Frame: Hey I hope you like doing silly puzzles because here's a clock, go ahead and input that time you read about earlier.
  • Left 4 Dead: I mean, yeah, that door opens, but the hunter behind it isn't going to make things easier for you. Oops, it was just a horde.
  • Penumbra: Well that door's right fucked, innit? You see those boxes over there? You know what to do.
  • Amnesia: Same as above but with Mr. Struts on your ass the entire time.
  • S.T.A.L.K.E.R.: If it's a locked door, you're gonna need a keycode. Hope you're ready to fight the burer behind it. The pseudogiant, too.
  • X-COM: There's a lobsterman behind that door. Don't open it. Don't even open the sub door. There's lobstermen out there. Time to leave.
  • Cryostasis: You're going to have to go into some guy's memories and make it so that he doesn't get dead to get through this door. Or maybe a bear's memories. Awesome.
  • Lifeline: OPEN DOOR. OPEN THAT DOOR. OPEN KITCHEN DOOR. OPEN DOOR. OPEN THE FUCKING DOOR AAAAAA JESUS CHRIST RIO PLEASE I BEG OF YOU OPEN THE DOOR
  • Echo Night Beyond: Look through some really slow moving cameras until you figure out what you need to open the door, then proceed to immediately make a mad dash for the items while a ghost of a little girl kinda jogs towards you in an apparently immensely threatening fashion because your heart rate is literally breaking 300 bpm whenever she's within 3 feet of you.

i don’t really think this would happen, but if Ran does find out about this baby Heiji and Kazuha suddenly started babysitting she would like to help out

Shinichi would just be covering his face the whole time which she would take as him being super shy and adorable.

this is all based on this idea

I DON’T KNOW.


In which Genos is easily impressed by everything Saitama does p.2 ???

Egg n’ Toaster  ♥︎ ♥︎ ♥︎

cpupdawg  asked:

Do u know the ship name of Angelica and t Jeff !?!?! BC I HAD A HECKIN GUD IDEA: ok so Thomas hits on Angelica ( in a cocky snarky way, the same way he hits on every girl) BUT Angelica has an amazing sash come back and Thomas IS JUST SHOOK no girls ever done that before and he is blushing and he doesn't know what to say ALSO HE IN LOVE

I’m cracking up at the thought of Jefferson trying to woo her because, this a man that broke his right wrist trying to jump over a fence to impress a lady (then broke the other in his own house). What do you think he would do after trying and failing multiple times?

anonymous asked:

AU where Castiel is that one hot lifeguard at the beach and Dean is the lovable idiot who's constantly swimming out too far in what he claims are attempts to one up Sam (who's just reading on the sand at the moment), but are really just attempts to grab Castiel's attention (Dean doesn't know when he started taking whistles and amused glares as validation, but hey, if it works). Sam, afraid of seeing Dean actually get injured and aware that Castiel actually needs to focus on his job (part 1)

casually walks up to Cas with a determined expression plastered on his face. Dean panics, thinking that Sam is about to reveal his (pretty obvious in retrospect) crush, and sprints out of the water to do damage control. Cue Sam borrowing the spray bottle and walking away, and Cas giving Dean a lecture about dangerous currents. Dean just kind of nods throughout the lecture, focusing very hard on how devastatingly handsome Cas isn’t (he swears) while angry. They end up grabbing ice cream later.(2)

“I’m sorry about my brother.”

Startled, Cas turns to see Devastatingly Handsome Man 2 talking to him. The only reason he hadn’t spoken to Devastatingly Handsome Man 1, currently swimming hell-for-leather toward shore, was his assumption that Devastatingly Handsome Man 1 and DHM 2 were a couple.

“Brother?” Cas echoes, watching DHM 1 face-plant into the waves. Dripping with water, smudged with sand, wearing only soaking swim trunks that cling to his thighs and make a dome of the bulge of his cock. He’s, well, he’s devastatingly handsome. Even if he hadn’t been splashing around like a fool, Cas would have had one eye on him all weekend.

Except that he wasn’t single.

Except that…

“Yeah, yeah, the dumbass running toward us?” DHM 2 shakes his head. “It’s, well, it’s because of you. He thinks you’re hot, and I guess he figured if he made an ass of himself and pretended to be drowning you’d have to, I dunno, give him mouth to mouth or something?”

“Sam, for the love of - stop talking!” shouts DHM 1 breathlessly, trying and failing to find the purchase to run up the sandy shore. He even looks handsome flailing to keep his balance as the ground gave way beneath him at every step.

It isn’t fair.

“He was trying to get my attention?” Cas says flatly. DHM 2 - Sam - nods and rolls his eyes. “Right.” Hopping off the raise lifeguards seat, Cas walks casually, balancing easily on the shifting mounds of sand, meeting DHM 1 half way. “Your brother tells me that you’ve been engaging in dangerous behavior to get my attention.”

“Yes, I–”

“So while I’ve been forced to keep an eye on your-” -devastatingly handsome- “-antics, had their been a real emergency, I would have been distracted, and someone might have actually gotten hurt?”

“I’m sorry, but–”

“Furthermore, he tells me that you decided on this ridiculous plan because you found me attractive, and hoped I’d - what did Sam say - ‘give you mouth to mouth resuscitation?’”

“Sammy, how could y–”

“Well, if that’s what you wanted, you should have just asked,” Castiel concludes.

“No, I no, I was totally out of line, but…” DHM 1 trails off. “Wait, what?”

“If you were interested in having me kiss you, you could have asked me to kiss you,” repeats Castiel. Sam smirks. DHM 1′s mouth falls open. “Did that never cross your mind?”

“Oh. Uh.” DHM 1 looks around, looks away, brushes the sand from his legs and smears muddy tan streaks over his swim trunks and lower back. “I guess…uh…no?”

“My name is Cas,” Cas says.

“Dean.”

“I’m on duty right now - no fraternizing allowed - but I finish at 3 PM,” says Cas. “That’s 15 minutes. Don’t be late.”

“Right…right! No, I definitely won’t be.” DHM 1 - Dean, that has a nice ring to it - gives Cas a devastatingly handsome smile and allows his brother to drag him away by the arm.

Climbing back up the lifeguard stand, Cas pulls out his cell phone, scrolls through his contacts, and dials up Gabriel.

“What is it, my man?”

“Hey, so…I need you to come on shift a little early today…”

“Dammit, I had plans, Cas! Not ‘til 5, you said!”

“Sorry, but I’m going to need you here at 3.”

“That’s, like, now!”

“Don’t be late…”

“This is about that guy you’ve been ogling, isn’t it.” Cas can hear Gabe’s eyeroll over the miles separating them. “He’s, like, married to that moose. You’re wasting you’re time.”

“Brothers,” Cas crows triumphantly.

“Brothers?” Gabe echoes, a perfect mirror to Cas’ earlier reaction.

“Brothers,” confirms Cas.

“So the tall one is also single?”

“Don’t know for sure, but I know that he’ll be alone on the beach starting at 3…”

“GABE TO THE RESCUE!”

  • Armin: You want some candy?
  • Castiel: Woa, Armin, didn't took you for the sharing type.
  • Armin: Uh, ok. So... do you want some?
  • Castiel: What is your problem?
  • Armin: ?
  • Castiel: You can't just say things like that.
  • Castiel: You can't just walk around offering your girlfriend like that, she's not your ho!
  • Alexy: Did he just called Candy a ho?
  • Armin: Not my ho, tho.
  • Candy: Who's a ho?
  • Alexy: You.
  • Candy: What did I do?
  • Armin: I don't know, I just got some M&Ms and Castiel kinkshamed me.
  • Alexy: Poligamy isn't a kink.
  • Rosalya: What is happening?
  • Candy: I have no idea, something about me being morally questionable and chocolate.
  • Alexy: Now that's a kink.
  • Lysander: Why is Castiel crying on the floor?
  • Alexy: He's being crushed by the weight of his regrets.
  • Armin: This is ridiculous, when I bring cookies Kentin doesn't freak out thinking I baked his dog.
  • Kentin: Did somebody say cookies?
  • Armin: See, he gets it.
  • Armin: Why you have to be like this, Castiel?
  • Armin: Why?
10

every westallen scene ever (124/?)

I was looking at pictures of the bean Incubux and thought “What would it be like if Nox met Incubux?” Seeing as they’re technically brothers.

This is what happened

Incubux belongs to @nateeev

  • England: I didn't mean to, France!
  • France: t-that surprised me! How could you? After all that we've been through??
  • England: I'm sorry, it was a mistake. Please, don't end this. We've worked too hard for this special bond, this relationship to end!
  • France: I don't think I can... i-it's not normal... I'm just so shocked. It's too much for me to take in!
  • America: ... what are you guys doing?
  • France: England complimented me! He said that he liked my shirt! England! H-How could you??
  • England: no, no, I'm sorry. I meant that your shirt looks like you yourself shat on it. I promise, France, I promise!
  • France: no, now you're just being mean to cover up that compliment... I... I don't know if we should hate each other's guts and tear it to pieces anymore.