and he is ruining my life

“My mom doesn’t believe in love. I think she stopped after my dad painted her soft skin with the harsh colors of blue and purple one too many times. Or maybe it was after the nights he came home smelling of cheap perfume she’d never wear. Or no, I bet she stopped when he picked their son as the canvas for his unwarranted anger. Growing up, she’d tell me that she’d pray God would make her heart like stone, like the rocks that the sea beats against over and over; she craved their inability to feel. She claims her prayers were answered, but sometimes, when she sees old couples walking hand in hand still very much in love, she turns to me with a sad smile and reveals that she always thought that’d be her and him and I have to look away. That smile, it’s her achilles heel; it tells of her shattered dreams and whispers softly of her broken heart.

My mom doesn’t believe in love. As soon as I could understand the concept she drilled it into my head that there was no such thing. She thought it was a waste of time, sneered at those who tried to say it was one of the things worth living for. Unnecessary, dangerous was how she described it. She said she’d be damned if I fell into its trap and ruined my life for a boy that would leave me broken.

Now I don’t know how to tell her that I feel the things she warned against. I dont know how to tell her that my heart jumps when I look into his eyes or press my lips to his. I don’t know how to tell her that I fell for a boy with plain brown eyes and a smile that reminds me of the sun. I don’t know how to tell her that I gave him my heart and now he has the power to ruin me.

She’s going to be so disappointed.”


- n.g //

6

Because these boys share their birthdays in the same month, I drew ‘em both!

(Keith and Lance are on their first date at a restaurant)

Keith: I hate cheesy things, they make me sick to my stomach.

Lance, desperately trying to cover his heartbreak as he subtly types out a text to Hunk and Pidge from under the table telling them to cancel the incredibly cheesy gesture he had planned for after their date: (voice cracking) Oh.. really? I didn’t, um, know that about you.

Keith: (shrugs) I try not to be too open about it. Shiro says it kind of ruins the mood whenever I bring it up.

Lance: (having a crisis) Yeah, uh huh. I totally get that. Yeah. 

Keith: … Are you okay?

Lance: Who, me? I’m fine! Never been better! (all the moments where he picked up Keith in a suit and gave him flowers and held the door/chair for him in the restaurant flash before his eyes) Oh, no. Ohhhhhhh nooooooooo.

Keith: Lance??

Lance: Keith, buddy, light of my life- Wait, shit! You literally just said- Keith, I’m so sorry. I had no idea but I- I should’ve asked if you were alright with all the romcom stuff before I did it. I’m so sorry, I never meant to make you feel uncomfortable or, or that you were being pressured. I just, I really like you, and I wanted to do everything right, but instead I- (he jumps when Keith’s hand touches his own) Uh, Keith?

Keith: Lance, calm down. What are you talking about?

Lance: You said you hate cheesy things!! And-

Keith: Yeah, because I’m lactose intolerant.

Lance: -I’m a cheese master! I’ve been grinding cheese all evening!! I’ve been inhaling that shit, sprinkling it, we’re literally neck deep in- Wait. What?

Keith: Lance. I was talking about my lactose intolerance. I- (he unsuccessfully tries to pass his laugh off as a cough even as he tightens his grip on Lance’s hand) I’m sorry, I swear I’m not laughing at you! It’s just, you’re getting all worked up, and- It’s sweet that you care so much, thank you, but I was talking about- (he starts laughing again)

Lance: You’re talking about your lactose intolerance??? You said, you said cheesy things- (he wheezes) Oh my god, cheese makes you sick to your stomach, you weren’t trying to give me a hint, you were talking about shitting-

Keith: I wasn’t-! I never said that, I said it hurts my stomach! That’s so gross Lance, don’t say that when we’re in public!

Lance: (still laughing) Okay, okay, sorry. I’ll keep it PG.

Keith: That’s all I ask. And, um. About what you were talking about. I don’t… usually like big romantic gestures, or pda.

Lance: … Oh. Well, that’s okay! We can-

Keith: (staring intently at a scuff on the table) But. I’ve found that I don’t mind it when it’s, um. (he stares harder at the table) When it’s. (his ears are starting to turn pink) Whenit’scomingfromyou.

Lance:

Keith:

Lance: (subtly sniffles before smiling) We’ll make a romantic of you yet, Kogane.