some of the best customers I’ve had at Dollar General
the woman who comes in every day and buys a single can of cat food. The brand she buys has the deal that if you buy 5 cans, you get them for $2. When I told her that she said “I don’t need five at once. Terrence only needs one a day.”
The old man who came in and asked me “Why do you think McDonalds doesn’t sell hotdogs?” When I told him I didn’t know, he said “Well, I guess it would be hard to keep a straight face and order a McWeenie.”
The teenage girl whose boyfriend held her foot up as she hopped around the store to get her things. Come to find out that she had lost her flip flop and didn’t want to step on the floor with her bare foot.
The elderly spanish man who comes in every day to get a pack of Marlboro Lights. His english isn’t very good, so when I asked him if he wanted shorts or 100s, he looked at me confused. Realizing he didn’t understand, I said “Pequeño
?” His face lit up and nodded enthusiastically. Now every time he leaves, he smiles and says “Hasta mañana” and I say it back.
The other day when I was outside on a smoke break, he was riding on a bike and yelled ”HASTA MANANAAAAAA” as he rode by.
The old woman who came in and bought 24 air fresheners. I asked her if she was stocking up, and she told me about how she got a new boyfriend who lived in a mansion, and that she was putting one in each of the rooms. She then proceeded to tell me about how the mansion is haunted.
The little kid who was probably around 4 or 5 who ripped open a pack of skittles. As me and the people in line watched the skittles scatter across the floor, he looked up and said. “It wasn’t me.”
Makkachin likes to sleep with Yuuri. He switches between sleeping with Viktor and Yuuri but really he just wants them to sleep in the same bed. He always flops down in between them to get his cuddles and he’s really happy when they finally do sleep together.
Though there was one thing he didn’t like. It was being locked out.
He really didn’t understand why they had to lock him out. He didn’t understand why they were trying so hard to hide themselves when they were being intimate. It’s not like he couldn’t hear them or smell them when they mated. It confused him why his master’s mate felt embarrassed about it. Mating was normal!
But still, they were firm in not letting him in when they mated. That didn’t prevent him from jumping on them and placing himself in the middle to be consoled with cuddles.
And as much as people joked around that Yuri Plisetsky is Yuuri and Viktor’s child. Makkachin will always be their baby.
Zayn is the kind of flop that dominates the news throughout 2016. He’s the kind of flop that begins and starts the year with major hits. He’s the kind of flop who gets awards and certifications. He’s the kind of flop with whom influential and successful and interesting artists want to work. He’s the kind of flop that dropped 27 songs, wrote a book, deigned a shoe collection and became designer for Versace. He’s flopping so hard people feel the need to talk about how hard he’s flopping. He’s the kind of flop we should all aspire to be.
We said goodbye to our lovely dog Flinky this week. He was with us for 17 years and it hits hard to miss him. It’s been good to think about his many years as a quick and clever, strong and hilarious, sweet and playful dog, how he loved leading park expeditions and galloping along beaches, his games of hide and seek and how he’d soar straight over the garden wall to catch frisbees, before flopping by our feet (or walking boots / fireplace / the middle of board games) - so many years of making our lives richer! We were lucky to have him.
It was a late April night and James Potter, with the heaviness that the dinner his lovely wife made for them gave him, sat down on the couch and started reading Transfiguration Weekly from where he left off yesterday. There wasn’t much to read since there was a bloody war going on but still James appreciated the distraction.
Somehow Lily had managed to put their bundle of joy to his crib without a fight which happened so rarely both of them found it hard to believe and were on the edge expecting Harry to scream his lungs out any minute during their dinner. James loved his son to bits but sometimes Harry was a right pain in their arses.
Lily flopped down next to his husband and didn’t ask for a permission whatsoever as she climbed on his lap, James, of course, wasn’t complaining, they hadn’t been alone in a long time. He quickly put his magazine to the table to his left and grabbed Lily’s waist as the red haired her made herself comfortable.
“I can’t believe we are alone,” she whispered as she placed a soft but hungry kiss on James’ lips and he remembered how much he missed the taste of her. Having a baby was one thing, having Harry was whole other story. James didn’t know how he expected his son to be this put together, calm baby like Frank and Alice’s boy Neville was. Sometimes he just wanted to give Alice Harry and run away with Neville to have a silent night. This wasn’t the time to think about this so with one swift move Lily was lying on the couch slightly out of breath looking into his eyes with apparent desire in her green eyes. It had been too long for both of them.
It was hard to raise a kid in the midst of a war and they were both scared and afraid, that combined with Harry had unintentionally alienated them from each other and now she was right here, all his and James wanted to touch every inch of her warm skin. Moments later his lips was on hers again this time it’s like they both wanted to breath each other’s airHe let his hand roam free under Lily’s baggy shirt, his pulse rising every time Lily’s back arched. As James was thinking about how brilliant it was to have Lily to himself for once, he heard the all too familiar scream of his son from upstairs.
“For fuck’s sake,” he hissed to his wife’s neck as he slowly pushed himself up. “I got this.”
Lily groaned as James made his way to the stairs. James pushed the door of Harry’s room and took his wand out to see better, if he turned the light on there was no way Harry would go back to sleep, he learned his lesson by now.
“Lumos,” he said as he walked to the crib, he took Harry out and held him to his chest as he slowly rocked him to stop his crying. “Fawn, you can’t keep mama and dada from having, uh, happy times all the time buddy.”
Harry wasn’t calming down whatever James did and Lily came bursting through the door with a wary look on her face.
“Is there something wrong?”
“Nope, he is just being his usual I’m-a-pain-in-the-ass self,” replied James almost shouting over the noise Harry was making. Lily took Harry to her arms as she walked out of his room and went to their room instead.
“Potter, you and your wand here, now,” she yelled from the other room and James couldn’t help but snort.
“Is that an invitation, Evans?”
“Oh, bugger off, James. I need sleep tonight and the fastest way is for you to do whatever you do,” scolded Lily as she put Harry in the middle of their bed. “Unless you can call Sirius and make him babysit Harry as Padfoot?”
“He’s on an Order mission, if he wasn’t I have already dropped Harry off and came back like the wind,” teased James as he lied next to Harry and took his wand out.
James didn’t know what it was but the smoke that emerged from the tip of his wand always calmed Harry down, it was blue, then purple and pink and blue again. Soon enough the little boy with the exact same hair as James was giggling softly trying to grab the smoke and throwing his legs up as he tried to chew on his own foot. His green eyes were no longer shining from the tears but sparkling with pure joy that a simple spell brought him.
Lily lied on the other side of Harry and grabbed the small hand of the boy as he wrapped his fingers around her finger, his hands were so chubby he had dimples on them which Lily loved to kiss.
He just watched them as the boy giggled every time his mother buried her face in his belly and felt thankful for everything he had right at that moment. He knew he complained too much sometimes but that was just who he was and he wouldn’t have changed them if they gave him the world and for James Potter that meant something.
Will has most of his freckles on his back and shoulders
His favorite album is Vessel from twenty one pilots (big ukulele sucker)
He only wears flip flops or hightops there is no in between
Refuses to believe he is sick
Will *with a fever, runny nose, and about thirty seconds away from throwing up*: What are you talking about, I am the healthiest person at this camp, I can work today just let me vomit in the trash can really quick
Also refuses to believe that he is injured
for example one time he got this really bad gash on his stomach during a battle and he worked so hard trying to heal other people he didn’t think about healing himself
People noticed he was hurt when he started to bleed though his shirt and his hastily applied bandages
It took three Ares kids to hold him down and two other Apollo kids to stitch him back up because he kept struggling because people still needed to be healed and ‘I AM THE EPITOME OF GOOD HEALTH GUYS JUST LET ME GO!!!’
His lips get really chapped very easily and it doesn’t help that he’s constantly licking them and biting off the skin as he works
Sneezes when he lies
The first real time Nico caught his eye was during the Battle of Manhattan. When Will was trying to help someone that was injured get to safety, and he ended up tripping and a monster stood over him ready to kill Will but all of the sudden a skeleton warrior kills the monster. Out of the corner of his eye he sees this scrawny kid, that radiated power, and despite the fighting, he didn’t look a bit afraid as he ordered the skeletons around, if anything he looked proud about what he had done. Will owed his life to Nico, and was smitten ever since.
Only starts dating Nico awhile after his dad turns into a teenager (Apollo ships it more than anyone, has written 15 haikus about their first date plus three different songs)
Doesn’t believe is lost causes
he will try to save someone even if they are long gone, because if they do die he wants them to die knowing that he never gave up on them
My personal favorite is;
Will was always self conscious about how he couldn’t fight as well as his siblings and was only good at healing so Apollo blessed him and gave him the power to absorb peoples pain, and fill them with good memories and hope
It works for physical and emotional pain
the problem is that Will has to absorb the pain that he takes so he will constantly feel waves of heartbreak and hopelessness, He will feel stab wounds that aren’t there for hours, he goes to bed with his bones on fire, and feels like his blood is boiling due to poison that isn’t running through his blood
He hasn’t told anyone about this blessing, not even to his siblings or to Nico
He can also absorb anger, because all anger comes from some sort of pain
But he takes peoples pain with a smile, because as long as he is doing something to help he will do anything, no matter how much it may hurt
This gif (sorta cuz I can’t find the actual one) came from @walking-geek-encyclopedia thanks for the help in trying to find it again!
It had been a tough case. Long, hard and with more twists than an Agatha Christie novel. Poor Spencer had taken the brunt of it. Everyone expected him to know the answers, to figure out the bizarre and confusing clues because he was Dr. Spencer Reid. He’s a genius and sometimes that means that Hotch is a little too hard on him. Expects a little too much. This case especially. You’re almost positive that Reid didn’t sleep at all during the case, something that you’re not okay with. You lean back in your chair and glance toward him as he rolls again. You tap your pen on the notebook in front of you. Reid sighs softly and kind of does this little flop thing. You bite your lip to keep the little laugh from slipping past your lips. He’s so damn cute. You’re the only two that are still awake on the jet and as Reid sits up he lets out a huff of frustration. He runs his fingers through his hair causing it to stand on end and that’s what breaks you. The soft laugh escaping your mouth causes Reid’s face to whip around in your direction.
“Are you laughing at me?”
“No. Reid it’s your hair.” You explain softly, “it’s kinda, everywhere.”
“Oh. Sorry I’m just exhausted and that probably came out harsher than I meant it to.”
“You’re fine Reid. I know this was a tough case, you don’t need to apologize.”
“It was a tough case for all of us. Is that why you’re not asleep?” He asks resting his forearms on his legs.
“I have a hard time sleeping on the plane.”
“Do you want the couch?”
“No, no thanks though.” You tell him with a wave of your hand. He nods and drops his head into his hands. “Hey Reid?” You ask quietly and he looks up at you. “Do you want some help getting to sleep?”
“What?” You stand and make your way to the couch where he’s sitting.
“I know this technique that’ll help you sleep. Can I sit?”
“Yea, of course.” You sit down next to him and then gently reach over for his hand. You gently kneed the skin, using the acupuncture points you know to relax him. You grab the pillow at your side and rest it across your lap then pat on it.
“Are you sure?”
“Reid, just lay down.” You tell him softly. He does as you ask and then relaxes. His head in your lap, your fingers gently tangle in his hair. He groans softly, rests a hand on your knee then drifts off quickly. You follow not long after. Your head back against the couch, eyes closed, lips partly separated. That’s where you stay until you too drift off to sleep.
Whomever wakes next is going to love this.
Plot twist : Fredbear was always depressed and nihilistic he was just good at hiding it at first. Then the game flopped and after that Distressed Office Dude was murdered and Fredbear didn't have the energy to fake it anymore.
I mean, he does totally sound like someone who’s trying way too hard in the original release.
Alec was still dazed and so weak he couldn’t get his legs to do more than flop onto themselves and then… Oh, he was on the floor now. It didn’t even hurt to fall how he did because it was such a short distance and his body was so tired.
“What’s happening?” Alec asked in a desperate and weak voice as Aldertree marched Jace right into a portal. “Wait!” he called out feebly, but they were gone. Alec stared agape at where Jace and the other Shadowhunters had been as he breathed hard. They’d taken his brother, who they wanted dead.
Alec couldn’t stop the tears that burned his dry eyes. He was clammy and distraught and on the floor, and oh yes, he was now crying. “Who sent them?” he asked with a clenched jaw before he sucked down a breath. “I need to get back to the Institute!”
The poor guy had been laying on the bed staring at the ceiling waiting for you, so when he heard your name he sprang up from the mattress and bolted down the hall, a big smile on his face.
“___!” he shouted, squishing you to his chest like he hadn’t seen you in years.
“Hey there Jungkook.” you mumbled, your flattened face making it hard to speak.
“I missed you!!!” he sang, grabbing your wrist and leading you to his room. One you were both in he shut the door and flopped back down on the bed, pulling you down next to him and the covers over the both of you.
He snuggled his head into your neck and sighed contently, it was so cute you didn’t want to break it off, but you had come over to go on a date, so you decided to remind him.
“Kookie?” you whispered to him.
“Mm?” he hummed, not opening his eyes.
“We have a date to go on.” you mentioned, wincing at the slightly bratty phrasing. You’d love to stay in bed with him, but you had already bought tickets to the ice skating rink, and you didn’t want them to go to waste.
Jungkook only groaned in response, pushing his face farther into your neck and slinging an arm over your waist to pull you closer.
“I don’t wanna go anymore.” he grumbled.
“The tickets were expensive Jungkook.” you said, tracing patterns onto his arm.
“I know, but it’s too cold!” he whined.”Can’t we just watch movies instead?”
“I wanna stay in too, but we have to go.” you answer reluctantly. “Plus, winter is the only time the place is open, and it’s the last weekend so the tickets will expire before we can get back.”
“I hate winter.” he told you. You sighed, smiling and pulling yourself out of Jungkook’s tight grasp.
“C’mon, if we go now we can come back and cuddle and watch movies and eat snacks…” you tempted him in a sing song voice, slowly walking backwards and beckoning him to follow you.
“Fine.” he grunted, dragging himself out of bed. “But you have to promise we can do all that you said.”
“I promise.” you said with a laugh, pulling your slow moving boyfriend out of the house.
comes out in ONE WEEK! A celebratory snippet from TBK:
* * *
“As a proof of how sincerely I am sorry, I could give you some of my best romantic tips,” Jasper offered.
Call, who’d been about to perch on one of the arms of the sofa, started laughing so hard that he fell. He hit his bad leg against the floor – which hurt – but not enough to keep him from howling with mirth.
Tamara was smiling, but clearly trying not to. Her lips kept twitching up and down at the corners.
“Are you okay?” Aaron asked, leaning over to help Call up.
“Yes!” Call managed to say before he started laughing again. He flopped onto the couch on Aaron’s other side, still wheezing. “Fine! I’m fine!”
“Number one,” Jasper said, with a frown at Call, who clearly didn’t appreciate the wisdom that was about to be dispensed, “when you talk to a girl, you have to look her right in the eye. And you can’t blink. That’s very important.”
“Doesn’t that mean your eyes start watering?” Aaron asjed.
“Not if you do it right,” Jasper replied significantly. Call wondered what that meant. Were you supposed to develop a second eyelid, like a lizard?
“Okay, so Tip One is that you stare right at a girl,” said Call. “If you like her.”
“Tip Two,” Jasper went on, “is to nod at everything she says, and laugh a lot.”
“Laugh at her?” said Tamara, dubiously.
“Like she’s hilarious,” said Jasper. “Girls like to think they’re charming you. Tip Three: smolder at her.”
“Smolder?” Aaron echoed in disbelief. “What’s that, exactly?”
Jasper straightened up, tossing his hair back. He lowered his eyelashes and stared directly at the three of them, his mouth turned down in a grim scowl.
“You look mad,” Call said.
Jasper squinted even harder, closing one of his eyes and staring meaningfully out of the other.
“Now you look like a pirate,” said Tamara.
“It works on Celia,” said Jasper. “She melts when I do that.”
“She must like pirates,” said Aaron.
Jasper rolled his eyes. “Tip Four is to have the right haircut, but that’s obviously hopeless for both of you.”
“There’s nothing wrong with my hair!” said Aaron.
“It’s all right,” said Jasper. “Call’s looks like he cut it with a sharp rock.”
“Is there a Tip Five?” asked Tamara.
“Buy her a cat calendar,” said Jasper. “Girls love cat calendars.”
HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY TO @thesaltywinteradult!!!!!! I’m so sorry I didn’t have this up on your special day, but I hope it was great and that you enjoy this late bday gift! <333
Prompt was Lams, post-college, cute notes in each other’s lunches.
Alexander groaned as he flopped down in a hard plastic chair in the break room. He hated working at a call center, but it paid the bills and put both his bilingualism and fast talking skills to use.
He stuck his hand in the paper bag he always packed his lunch in and pulled out his hastily made PB & J sandwich. He bit into it, mechanically alternating between chomping down on it and guzzling water from his bottle.
Once he’d finished that, he stuck his hand into the bag again and pulled out the tiny piece of paper he knew he’d find at the bottom. He smiled as he unfolded it, taking in his boyfriend’s loopy and clear script.
Roses may be red, and violets quite blue, but I could never love them as much as you.
See you tonight, babe. Remember, you’re Alexander Hamilton. You got this. Love, J. Laurens
Alex held the tiny scrap of paper close to his heart, then slipped it into his chest pocket. He went back to his shift with a goofy grin on his face.
John Laurens collapsed into the chair behind his desk, reaching down to tug open the bottom drawer of the mahogany desk, pulling out the paper bag his lunch was packed in.
He dove into the salad he’d made for himself the night before, loving the way the lettuce crunched and reveling in the juiciness of the tomatoes. Before he knew it, it was gone. He reached in for his granola bar, but his hand came in contact with a piece of paper instead.
He grinned as he pulled it out, unfolding it and laughing at the jagged edges. So Alexander, he thought.
You’re John Laurens in the place to be! Met with two potential clients; after lunch will make three. Those other lawyers don’t wanna agree But you’ll defend and defend ‘til your clients are free!
See you tonight, Freckles ;) Love, A. Ham
Laurens felt his face flush red as he read Alexander’s old college nickname for him. He tucked the note in his pants pocket, where he could find it later in the day if a meeting was particularly rough.
The note reminded him that he had someone who loved him unconditionally. He had someone who would never hesitate to wrap him up in his arms after a bad day and kiss reassurances onto his skin.
That note reminded him that, against all odds, Alexander Hamilton was his.
I just watched The Scene™ and I laughed so hard my dog moved from his position at the end of the bed, proceeded to dig at the duvet by my stomach and just completely belly flop onto my legs. I don't think he appreciated the 1:25am wake up call
yeah, i would imagine not but at least you got a good laugh, babe lmao
*Error smiles as he sits back at his computer desk as @cherry-the-pet peeks over * Hey, guys. So I’m feeling a lot better and more motivated now. I know it’s been hard for me to keep the blog active, especially since I’ve slept so much. But I’m ready to-
*Error is interrupted as Cherry hops onto the desk*
…I’m ready to-
*Error lets out a snicker as Cherry flops onto Error’s arms that rested on his laptop* Cherry, I can’t turn the camera back off with my arms there.