and he doesn't think he knows better than her what her life should look like

anonymous asked:

Hey it's the Disney anon! Yeah I meant sort of live action BATB cause I love the Bucky fic you did😊 So if it's something you'd be happy to write for can I request a reader x gaston fic where they grew up together and she is in love with him but is convinced it isn't mutual & that he deserves better so doesn't tell him. Another guy asks her out & she accepts cause she thinks she should move on if gaston will never love her. But Gaston actually gets super jealous/possessive. Hope it's ok thanks❤

Pairing: Gaston x Reader
Fandom: Disney ; Beauty and the Beast (2017)
Warnings: /

A/N: asdfghjkl, I’m so glad you send me this request, I literally grinned so hard when I got it! I don’t normally post two things a day, but I literally had the easiest time writing this. This prompt gave me so much inspiration that I just typed it in one go and I’m actually quite happy with how it turned out. I hope you like it as well and if you have any other gaston x reader request please send them my way. I LOVE writing for him and the reader. (added Gaston to my fandoms list)

                                                           *****

“You’re staring again,” LeFou, who had seemingly snuck up on you, whispered.

You blinked a few times to break the spell you were under before and turned around, wanting to convince him that, no, you weren’t staring at Gaston like a fool in love. 

But the look he threw you was enough to know that it wouldn’t work on him.

“It’s not like I don’t understand. And I’m certainly not the one to judge you,” he winked at you and you had to laugh a little. “But what I don’t understand is why you don’t tell him. You’ve known each other for so long..”

“Oh LeFou. If only it were so easy. Look at him..-” he was currently chasing Belle again. “He doesn’t feel the same and I doubt he ever will. He needs a woman who cooks for him and plays the good wife. You and me both know that I’m not that kind of woman.”

“Neither is Belle! Which is why he fancies her! So what makes you different?”

“I’m a huntress, LeFou. Belle and me are completely the opposite of each other. If she’s his type then I’m most certainly not.”

“She’s beautiful. That’s why she’s his type. And do I need to remind you of your beauty?”

You sighed and turned around to face your friend, smiling a little, then hugging him.

In the meantime, Gaston gave up for today in chasing Belle and approached the two of you.

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anonymous asked:

As much as I would like to believe in a doting dad King Endymion, isn't that contradicted in the anime when Chibiusa is whole-heartedly convinced that her parents don't care about her? That Pluto is the only one who even likes her? And in the new Sera Myu, if I remember correctly, she feels that she's rejected by everyone, not just some dumb kids. That doesn't sound like a child who grew up with loving parents by her side. She just sounds so lonely.

That is Chibi Usa’s perception, and I think it’s pretty clear in both the anime and manga (especially the anime, honestly) that Chibi Usa is a flawed narrator on that front.

For example, look at the memories we’re shown in the anime to illustrate the idea that Chibi Usa was lonely. There is the one where everyone mysteriously was too busy to celebrate her birthday. Then it turns out they were planning to surprise her with her parents returning from their trip early to celebrate it. Then there’s the one when she falls down in the rain and her parents did not immediately pick her up. In her mind, they were coldly refusing to help her. In reality, it turns out they were encouraging her to pick herself up (and I’m no parent, but it seems like pretty good parenting to me, not to race to pick up your toddler every single time she falls).

I think there’s a lot of factors in Chibi Usa’s loneliness growing up.

  • Her parents are busy all the time. They’re king and queen of the world, after all. There’s a reason most politicians and monarchs employ full-time nannies. The most loving parent can seem distant and cold if their attention is divided because of their job.
  • She’s an only child.
  • She’s the one and only child of the king and queen of the world. Think how much scrutiny she must have been under from the moment she was born. Imagine being a little kid seeing your own face on the tabloids all the time, for absolutely no reason other than who your parents are. Imagine how impossible it would be to feel normal.
  • Kids were mean to her, probably because of that aforementioned scrutiny.
  • She felt like she could never live up to her mother’s legacy, and clearly did not know how to communicate her fears to her parents.
  • Her fears turned into suppression of her own growth and magical powers, keeping her a child forever.
  • It turned into this negative feedback loop where her own fears of failure stunted her growth, but the lack of growth made her feel like a bigger failure and made people scrutinize her even more, so she became trapped in a cycle she couldn’t escape.

The first point is one that I relate to a lot. I have a really loving mother, someone who a lot of my friends and cousins have said they love and wish they had as a mom, but there was a point in my life when I was still desperately lonely. Because she was working long hours at the same time that kids at school were being bullies. Feeling alone at school and then coming home to an empty house really did make me feel rejected by everyone, even though that was objectively not true. That fact that she cared for me and supported me just… wasn’t enough to fix the situation. It was too big for her.

But leaving aside her parents for a moment, even if they were actually cold and distant, what about everyone else? What about the other senshi? What about Diana, who was already there in the manga?

Somehow Chibi Usa managed to be sad even with Diana in her life. You can make me believe that somehow every one of the senshi, including Usagi Biggest-Heart-in-the-Universe Tsukino, became cold and seemingly heartless, but you cannot tell me that Diana rejected Chibi Usa a single time in her entire kitten life.

So what made Pluto special, in a way that her parents and the other senshi and Diana could not be? Other than the fact that Pluto is wonderful and perfect and also incredibly lonely, Pluto has nothing to do with the world that Chibi Usa feels pressured by. Where Chibi Usa’s parents and even the other senshi must represent the world she feels inadequate at accessing, Pluto is literally outside of it all. Being with Pluto was an escape from a reality in which she is a princess living in the shadow of an immortal queen.

But let’s go back to the real issue Chibi Usa had: feeling overshadowed by Neo Queen Serenity, and the need to live up to her legacy. I feel like this is the main isolating force for her. And it is largely internal. Because look at what happens when Venus questions how Chibi Usa can take over as queen if she doesn’t have any powers.

King Endymion is not here for that kind of talk. He shuts that line of questioning down hard. It doesn’t matter that his daughter has been a powerless child for 900 years now, he still believes in her.

And look at how Neo Queen Serenity reacts to the same issue.

Chibi Usa thought she was not good enough, but her parents have never thought that. It was entirely her own insecurities, which she kept too bottled up for anybody to help her deal with them.

And we know that that must be the source of her problems, because from this point on, Chibi Usa is so much happier. She never indicates that Crystal Tokyo is a sad place for her to be anymore. The only time those same insecurities flare up again? Is when she feels overshadowed by Sailor Moon in the present. But she works through it and becomes both a happier person and a better soldier for it.

Long story short, knowing who Usagi and Mamoru are, knowing who Chibi Usa becomes after that first arc, knowing how easily childhood memories can be clouded, I see no reason to believe that Neo Queen Serenity and King Endymion are bad parents. If they were, then there was no resolution when Chibi Usa became Sailor Chibi Moon, and all that character development should have been directed towards resolution with them instead of her own personal growth.

caddy shack

in face melting heat, jean and eren discuss many things of extreme importance while ogling their supervisor levi. ererijean. this is just self indulgent sillies

“You know what I like?” Eren asked.

“Suckin’ dick?” Jean teased, but his heart was only half in it, he was too busy fanning himself on the bench in the caddy shack. The oppressive heat had sap leaching out of the wooden boards giving the place a sickly sweet smell. It was only slightly better inside, in the shade, than out on the course.

“Yes, but also…” Eren struggled upright, which was difficult with Jean draped over him. “Watching Levi drive around in the carts.”

“Mm,” Jean agreed.

The humidity was so overwhelming, Eren’s hair was curling around the brim of his baseball cap, which was unfair Jean thought. And Jean’s eyes looked very honey colored in the bright light thought Eren as he stuck a blade of grass in Jean’s ear only to have him slap it away. Out in the distance, the groan of Levi’s golf cart drew nearer.

“The wind tousling his silken locks.”

“Mhm.”

“The sound of the shocks crying out in pain as he speeds over the hills,” Eren continued wistfully.

“He likes speed that one,” Jean said, putting his hat over his eyes.

“The grinding noise the cart makes because he has no idea how to use the clutch,” Eren said as they heard the telltale sound of their boss swearing at the cart.

“He doesn’t need it, the carts simply obey. All bend to his will. I’ve seen him break a nine iron over his knee.”

“The way he squeals to a halt in front of the caddy shack,” Eren sighed as Levi hit the curb with some vehemence.

“It’s like peals of laughter,” Jean chorused.

“The way he says—“

“What are you little cock gobblers doing?” Levi snapped, kicking the bottom of the bench where they were thrown across.

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anonymous asked:

Please do part 2 to the "why do you smell like perfume"!!! The way he spoke to her was horrible. I'd love to see a part 2 where he misses her but she doesn't forgive him. Please x

Part One

Enjoy!

It was days later and Harry sat on the couch of the hotel he was staying at, truly realizing what he had done. He had spent that first night after he walked out on you at the girl he was sleeping with’s house but the next morning he quickly wanted to get away from her so he booked himself a stay in a hotel downtown. 

Harry knew he shouldn’t have said it was all your fault. It wasn’t, of course. You did show him love and support, he knew you loved and cared for him and his career, he had just given into a temptation and it felt better to blame you rather than himself. But he missed you. He missed you so much. 

He missed the sweetness of your shampoo, the smell of it surrounding him while he slept or the two of you made love. He missed you cooking him breakfast, surprising him with it in bed on the rare occasion he could sleep in. He missed your laugh, your smiling face, the feel of your hands on him. All he wanted, as he lay awake at night, was to have his head resting on your chest with your fingers playing in his curls as he fell asleep to the beat of your heart under his ear. 

He found himself getting in the car a few minutes later and began the familiar drive to the house the two of you had shared together for years. He had to try to get you to forgive him, to see that he was wrong and that he knew it and that he was sorry. He wanted to come home, he wanted to come back to you. 

“What do you want, Harry?” You question as soon as you open the door to see him standing before you. In the days since he left you had stopped moping about. He obviously didn’t care about you or the relationship so why should you? “If this is about getting your stuff, don’t bother.” You start, crossing your arms over your chest. “I’ve packed up my own stuff instead and found some where else to live so the place is yours.” 

“Can I jus’ come in, please?” Harry pleads, giving you a sad and wide eyed look. You sigh and step aside, allowing him to enter. “You’re really leaving?” He questions when he looks around, taking in the packed up boxes. Your books were no longer on the shelf, your small trinkets and things packed away. The place felt cold and empty and he hated it. 

“What do you want, Harry?” You repeated the question you had first asked him, this time a bit more forceful. 

“I miss you.” His words cause a laugh to erupt out of your throat. A feeling of sadness and dread immediately washes over Harry. He could see already that his hopes of rekindling that love, of starting new with you, were unlikely. “Please, I made a mistake, I know that. I jus’…” He sighs as he runs a hand through his curls, shaking his head. 

“Harry, you were fucking someone else. You cheated on me, multiple times! I’m not going to just forgive or forget that. You said I wasn’t supportive, that I didn’t care. I’m done trying, Harry. It’s over, we’re done. You did that, that’s all on you. So deal with the consequences of your damn actions!” You were mad, you were livid. How dare he show up here, trying to play the sad and helpless card to win you back. Did he honestly think he could water his green eyes, pout out his bottom lip, say he missed you and everything would be okay again? 

Harry turns away, knowing that you were right but he didn’t want you to see how much that hurt. You were right. He had done this. He had broken up with you, walked out, had gone to her. This was on him. He wipes at his cheeks as tears begin to fall and takes a deep breath before he turns back to face you. 

“’m sorry.” He watches your face soften then but only fractionally before you sigh and give a nod. 

“I wish you nothing but the best, Harry, I really do.” You bite at your bottom lip then, looking away from his face for a second before meeting his eyes again, trying to ignore the tears trailing down his cheeks. You had to resist rushing over to hold and comfort him. “I’ll let you know when all of my stuff is out. Should only be a few more days.” Harry does nothing, he just stands and watches you, letting the tears fall down his cheeks. “You know where the door is, so see yourself out.” You turn then, heading for the bedroom. “Goodbye, Harry.” You turn back, giving him one last sad look before he watches you disappear down the hall and out of his life. 

Alone, Until I Get Home (1/?)

Summary: In Boston, Henry Swan’s six-year-old brother Ian finds a book titled “Once Upon a Time” hidden beneath the seat in their mom’s old yellow bug. As soon as Henry touches it, he remembers.

Season 3 Canon Divergence-Emma finds out she’s pregnant a few weeks after she and Henry leave Storybrooke with new memories and new lives. Nearly seven years later, another Dark Curse puts her family in danger, and Emma must return to Storybrooke to help them.

Who’s powerful enough to cast the Dark Curse? And how the hell is she going to tell Hook they have a son together?

A/N: You don’t have to have read “I belong to you, you belong to me” to understand and/or enjoy this one, but this is basically a “what if Emma had gotten pregnant with Ian right after Neverland instead of in Camelot” sort of scenario, with a shit ton of other stuff (angst! adventure! fluff! confused pirate dad Killian!) thrown in.

I hope you’re ready for this new adventure because I AM REALLY FUCKING EXCITED!!!!!!!

Thank you to @losttalongthewayy for all your help editing and for listening to all my worries concerning this fic; you’re incredible!!!

Also posted on: AO3

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theclogmaster  asked:

Could I request the RFA+VandSaeran reacting to MC who doesn't let herself sit on her SO's lap, doesn't do cute piggy back rides, won't let her SO pick her up, won't lay on them or snuggle too close because she thinks she too heavy? Like she isn't abnormally big at all, she's just always been told she's too heavy so she's crazy self conscious.

Aww I sincerely hope that this hasn’t happened to you! Always remember that your weight doesn’t define you and I’m sure that you’re a fantastic person! Everyone should love themselves no matter what! Plus I know that the RFA members would love you no matter what you looked like! I really hope that you enjoy and don’t forget to stay awesome!! :) 


Yoosung

  • After another long day at his university classes, Yoosung wanted nothing more than to snuggle the night away with you
  • Yoosung came home to find you already laying comfortably down in bed
  • Without warning, Yoosung decided to join you and flopped himself down next to you and snuggled into you
  • But you immediately pushed him away leaving Yoosung very confused
  • “Why do you always push me away when I try and snuggle with you MC? Do you not like me or something?”
  • You have to explain to the poor boy that you’ve never really felt comfortable with your weight because of past comments from others and that you think you’re too heavy for snuggles
  • Yoosung eyes you up and down in disbelief because um what how the heck do you think that you’re heavy?
  • “MC, please don’t think that you’re heavy, you’re really not. I don’t want you thinking that you’re any less than perfect in my eyes.”
  • That finally caused you to realize that maybe Yoosung was right and maybe you weren’t as heavy as you thought
  • So that night Yoosung finally got to have his cuddle session with you as he kept telling you over and over again how perfect you are to him

Zen

  • Things were getting a little heated between you and Zen one evening
  • Zen had you pinned against the wall, kissing you passionately as his hands crawled to your waist
  • He was about to lift you up and carry you to the bedroom until you shouted in protest for him to stop
  • Zen sighed because you never let him carry you around and tonight, he was going to get answers
  • “Why don’t you ever let me carry you around like the princess you are MC? You know I’m your knight and I can handle it right?”
  • You sighed and decided to finally tell Zen that you didn’t want to be picked up by him since you think that you’re on the heavier side
  • Zen just kind of stares at you for a minute because how in the world do you think that you’re heavy?
  • He’s seen it in himself about not feeling confident in his looks when he was younger and he never wants you to feel that way
  • “MC, I hope you know that you’re really not heavy at all. I didn’t fall in love with you because of your weight, I fell in love with you because of your kind-heart and compassion for others. Please, never forget that.”
  • Leave it to Zen to use smooth words of love to make you cry
  • Zen smiled down at you and gently picked you up and for once, you didn’t protest
  • The rest of the night was spent with Zen taking about a hundred photos of you and telling you how one each one you looked absolutely stunning

Jaehee

  • Jaehee was coming home that day in an especially good mood
  • She had just received approval from the landlord that you and her could expand the cafe even larger
  • So Jaehee walked in the door, quickly taking off her shoes, and raced to find you to celebrate
  • You were in the kitchen, getting dinner ready, when Jaehee spotted you
  • Jaehee told you the good news to you and she picked you up and spun you around
  • That is, until you exclaimed for her to put you down, much to Jaehee’s confusion
  • “What is it MC? You never seem to like me touching you in certain ways, especially if I lift you up. Is it something that you want to talk about with me?”
  • You decided that it was finally time to tell Jaehee the truth, that you felt that you were way too heavy for her to pick up
  • Jaehee was puzzled by what you said, never in her life would she consider your body heavy so she smiled and reassured you
  • “Is that all MC? I hope you know that your body is fine to me, in fact, you’re probably in better shape than I am. You’re definitely not too heavy for me to pick up so please, don’t worry about it anymore okay?“
  • You smiled at Jaehee’s kind words as she finally told you the exciting news about the cafe
  • This time it was your turn to celebrate as Jaehee picked you up this time to properly celebrate with you, constantly assuring you that your body was perfect to her

Jumin

  • The stars must have been aligned in a certain way that day because Jumin was able to come home early from work
  • So it was understandable why you were more than a little surprised to see Jumin come home mid-afternoon
  • But he smirked at you, taking off his jacket and loosening his tie as he sat down on the couch beside you
  • Jumin had missed you dearly that day, so he leaned over to pull you onto his lap
  • The moment you realized what he was doing, you immediately told him in a stern, panicked voice to stop
  • Cue super confused Jumin
  • “Why don’t you ever let me hold you MC? Am I too inadequate to even have you sit on my lap? Is there something you need me to improve on?”
  • Not wanting him to be confused any longer, you explained to Jumin that you didn’t want to sit on his lap since you thought that you were way too heavy and would hurt him
  • Jumin was even more confused at this point, how could you possibly think that you’re heavy? So Jumin decided to correct you
  • “Please don’t take offense to this MC, but you’re crazy. Your body is the definition of perfection to me, don’t ever feel like you’re heavy around me because I think that you’re perfect just the way you are.”
  • Jumin noticed a couple of tears fall down your cheeks and he gently grabbed your arm and pulled you onto his lap to comfort you
  • He made sure to prove to you that you weren’t too heavy at all, that you would always be perfect in Jumin’s eyes

Seven

  • Seven finished up his coding for the day and noticed that it was still early in the day
  • He was extremely bored from working all day so he decided to mess around with you
  • Seven wondered around the house until he found you cooking some dinner
  • He smirked and sneakily grabbed you and put you on his back for a piggy back ride
  • You shouted in protest for him to put you down and realizing how upset you sounded, Seven out you down
  • “What’s wrong MC? You always seem like you don’t like me touching you certain ways or picking you up. Piggy back rides are fun and you should enjoy them!”
  • You explained to Seven that while piggy back rides were fun, you felt as though you were too heavy for them and you didn’t want to hurt Seven
  • Seven is extremely confused by what you said and has to make sure that he’s not hallucinating from working too much
  • He pokes your tummy and then lifts up his own shirt, revealing his slight protruding tummy
  • “Look MC, if anything I’m the one who’s heavier here. You’re definitely not heavy, in fact your weight is a lot better than mine! I don’t want you feeling like you’re heavy because you’re perfect to me!”
  • Leave it to Seven to always make you feel better whenever you’re down
  • Once he saw your smile, Seven smiled himself and positioned himself so you could hop on his back, which you did, as Seven ran around the house screaming how perfect you were, leaving a very annoyed Saeran in the other room

V

  • When you came home one day, V noticed how sad you looked
  • He asked you what was wrong, but you just brushed it off telling him that it was just a long day
  • But V knew better so he got up from his desk and went to go sit down beside you on the couch
  • V wanted to give you as much comfort as possible so he scooted himself closer to you and tried to carefully move you onto his lap
  • You immediately told him to stop, making V even more confused than before
  • “Please MC, you know that you can tell me anything. What’s bothering you? I want to help you out in any way that I can.”
  • At V’s kind words, you let the tears fall as you explained to him that you made a brief visit to your parents and they commented that you were even heavier than they last saw you
  • V tensed up, what did you mean that your parents said you were heavier before? V cradled you in his arms, giving you sweet words of love
  • “MC you aren’t and have never been heavy. I’m not quite sure what your parents are thinking but to me, your weight doesn’t matter. Please don’t ever think that you’re any less than perfect to me.”
  • He slowly slid you onto his lap and grabbed a nearby camera to show to some of his nature photos to help calm you down
  • You and V stayed this way for the rest of the night and eventually fell asleep on the couch with you having no more worries about your weight

Unknown

  • Saeran was feeling especially moody one day and needed some snuggles
  • He found you asleep on the couch, he huffed but gently moved you over a little so he could fit in
  • Just as he was about to fall asleep, Saeran was startled when he heard you exclaim for him to stop snuggling as you pushed him off the couch
  • Now even moodier, Saeran stood up and rubbed his back as he asked in an annoyed tone
  • “What the hell was that for MC? I just wanted some snuggles geez. You’re the one always telling me to try and get closer to other people.”
  • You apologized to him, looking truly sorry Saeran sighed and sat down next to you
  • Saeran deserved to know the truth so you explained to him that you weren’t comfortable snuggling with him since you use to get teased in school about being heavy and thought that you still were
  • With an eye roll, Saeran brought his arms around you and told you
  • “Those people are idiots MC. That’s all in the past anyway, I think that you’re weight is fine now. And when I want snuggles I’m going to get them damnit!”
  • Saeran pulled you down onto the couch with him as he buried his face into your neck, sighing in contentment
  • You asked him if he really meant what he said, with Saeran of course telling you yes
  • Saeran softly stroked your hair as he whispered to you how perfect your body is and how he would never change a thing about you

anonymous asked:

Have you seen the interview That just came out that has Eliza claiming Bellamy as more cutthroat and Clarke more sensitive and that she doesn't get why they make such good partners but this season they need each other more and more? I mean....I guess okay? Sometimes the way Eliza talks about her character and Bellarke, it's like she doesn't get it at all. I don't want to say that but you know....

I’ve already read it and your ask made me go back and read it again because I did not get what you got at all. Where are you getting that she doesn’t get that they make such good partners?

Why do you think they make such good partners?
Taylor: I’m not sure. I think Bellamy has a lot thicker skin and he’s a lot more cutthroat, which she needs sometimes. And Clarke has a sensitivity and a sensibility about her that Bellamy needs sometimes. With those two things combined, they really do need each other. I think that’s why people look up to them as a team.

Will we see Bellamy and Clarke continue to really lean on each other going forward?
Taylor: Yeah, more and more than ever they need each other.

They ask why they make good partners. She answers why she thinks they need each other and people look up to them as a team. It might not be why YOU think they make a good team. It might not be your interpretation of strengths, but it’s hers. 

The interpretation that Clarke is more sensitive than Bellamy is certainly valid. She lets in people far before Bellamy does. Bellamy has a thicker skin, I’m sure from his years hiding Octavia. He has defenses against other people that Clarke doesn’t. Clarke immediately wants to treat everyone as her people, wisely or not. 

And as to Bellamy being more cutthroat, I’m not sure that’s not true either. I mean, when we met him, he’d shot Jaha to get on the ship. He was always willing to go to extremes to protect his people. Clarke got locked up for wanting to tell EVERYONE what was happening. Clarke, from the beginning was urging Bellamy to turn to his better nature, which she saw in him, but which he hid behind his thick skin, right? And Clarke learned from him that she needed to be more ruthless some times. I mean, she did end up being the first of them to actually kill someone. And she did actually turn out to be the one who actually cut throats. But was it because she embraced an element of his ruthlessness in his pursuit of taking care of his people? It’s a thought. And it’s a thought that starts their interdependence before they were even partners. It might even be the BASIS of their relationship. Maybe she’s talking about season 1 making them good partners, and you think it should be only season 4? Maybe she’s talking about her journey, where you want her to praise romantic bellarke?

You’re discounting her interpretation because you don’t agree and not only that, you kind of have her saying the opposite of what she did say. Why’d you do that? You twisted her words to fit your bias against Eliza’s pov. 

Is it because you don’t trust Eliza and expect her to cut down Bellarke? Which she did NOT do here. So you took a verbal tic “I’m not sure” and interpreted it to mean that she didn’t get why they make such good partners. 

Her focus on Bellarke was that they need each other. The question was about being good partners. You know what the difference is between the two concepts? Eliza is looking at the relationship from inside of Clarke’s head, not from what other people think about their leadership. When the interviewer asked her a question that is NOT part of her analysis (why would Clarke ever ask that question of her relationship with Bellamy?) she considers a way to see their partnership. And it isn’t about “what makes a good partnership” it’s about what each character needs from the other. He protects her (cut throat, thick skinned). She cares for him (sensitivity, sensibility.) He’s tough. She’s soft. 

Yin Yang. Of course, each character holds the other element within themselves. She’s soft but the toughest mofo around once you get past that soft outside. And he’s tough, but inside is the most caring person, once you get past the hard shell. This is ACTUALLY the point of Yin Yang, not just that they are opposites, but that they hold the essence of the other, already, inside of them.)

I don’t think Eliza does meta on the show. I think she does character analysis of Clarke, and she should. It’s not her job to analyze the parts that Clarke herself is not a part of. In fact, considering the story from the outside of Clarke’s head could interfere with her ability to really get into Clarke’s character. 

This does not mean Eliza doesn’t understand the show. This means she is coming from a different perspective than you. And she does not have the same agenda as you. 

Notice also, that the question was “what makes them good partners,” and she answered with an emotional, personal need. Not business. Not politics. Not saving the people. Not working with others. Need. Four times in four sentences about Bellarke, Eliza said Clarke and Bellamy need each other. 

she needs him. he needs her. they need each other. they need each other.

Holy Bellarke, Batman. 

“more and more than ever they need each other.”

Without ever challenging the rage of the “make her grieve the love of her life and be forever alone” kru.

You know what? Stop jumping down Eliza’s throat because she’s not bellarke enough for you. That’s shipwars business.

The Closet Story

Get out your tissues and prepare yourselves accordingly, because I read the 3.13 update and my mind immediately went to a conversation between Bitty and his mom later that same evening, and the common theme of everyone already knowing that Bitty and Jack are together:

“Did you get my picture?” Suzanne asked excitedly before Bitty could even say hello. Jack was watching tape on Bitty’s bed, his headphones on, carefully out of frame of the webcam. Bitty had done his cursory once-over of the room before he signed onto Skype for his meeting with his mother, just to ensure no sign of Jack was visible. Jack’s overnight bag had been carefully placed inside the closet along with his coat. He’d thrown off most of his clothes already, lying under the sheets with just his boxers and Falconers t-shirt on, and Bitty had kicked Jack’s pants and shoes into a corner.

Suzanne was wearing the jersey now, and after she asked her question she lifted it into frame so Bitty could clearly see the A embroidered to the upper left of the logo. The grin on Suzanne’s face was unmistakable, the kind that Bitty had unfortunately inherited. Neither of them had a poker face and neither of them could keep in their emotions in check when the other’s began. Bitty felt the smile tug up the corners of his lips and when his mother let go of the edges of her jersey, they were both grinning wickedly at each other.

“Yes, Mama, I got your picture,” said Bitty. “You’re ridiculous.”

“I told you I was going to get one! It just came in the mail today! Next time I see you, you should have Jack sign it for me.” Bitty forcibly refused to let his eyes drift to the right, but out of his peripheral vision Jack hadn’t flinched. He was deep into hockey robot mode right now; it wouldn’t be until Bitty climbed into the bed next to him and placed his face in front of the screen that Jack would notice anything other than footage of their upcoming opponent.

“Okay, Mama,” said Bitty.

“Make sure you tell him I’m so proud of him.”

“I already did, Mama; you told me to tell him after the ceremony –”

“Well I mean it, and it’s important that he knows. I want you to make sure you tell him that your daddy and I are so proud of him and everything he’s accomplished this year. He’s so talented and he’s so young, he’s just going to get better and better from here on out. Tell him –” Suzanne’s smile was fading and her eyes were beginning to get misty, which drained all of the happiness out of Bitty’s face. “Tell him that we love him, too, okay? Like he’s our own son. Not exactly like our own son, but maybe like a – like a –”

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anonymous asked:

This is a beyond dumb question but I need reassurance. Do you think Kaz cares that Inej is small chested? Like I'm trying to rack my brain of a scene where he could tell so that I know he doesn't care. Help?

i’m so sorry i took so long replying to this, but here ya have an imagine/headcanony thing to calm your anxious mind lmao (and tl;dr: he honest to god doesn’t give a shit)

- at a state reception in ketterdam that kaz decides to infiltrate in order to make $ (and also bc he’s started a side-line collecting intelligence for his new bff nikolai lantsov, oops) everybody obviously has to look the part, so the girls get bought (stolen) horrendously expensive ballgowns, while the guys take style advice from kaz or disguise as guards.

- nobody knows better than nina herself does just how much havoc she can cause with her looks and her body, so her dress accentuates her curves and is cut out deeply. She basically looks like a bona fide femme fatale, which she is. It’s a look that could kill. A++

- and inej knows it’s silly, but she somehow wishes her dress were more like that instead of being flowing and unrestrictive, because she needs freedom of movement. And she knows that nina doesn’t necessarily want the attention she gets, she’s just realised that since she can’t help the way she looks, she might as well use it to her advantage. And she also knows that slender lines of her acrobat’s body allow her to fly from gable to gable and traverse ketterdam on its rooftops, but just once, she would like to feel the self-assurance that she’d convinced nina draws from her body. She has known men’s desire in her life, but she wants to know that she can cause the weakness in their eyes as she passes. She feels that nina’s curves give her strength, a position of power, although she knows it’s silly.

- nina can tell something is wrong, as inej is unusually quiet in the pleasure boat on the way to the reception. She isn’t sure, but she thinks it may be envy and bitterness she sees in her friend’s gaze and she wants to talk to her, ask her what’s on her mind, but it’s a bustle and rush and the excitement washes over her as they sneak into the ballroom. When she turns to find inej, she has already disappeared into the crowd.

- they are all supposed to shadow different people during the reception and cause distraction while jesper and kaz sweep in to steal a fjerdan diplomat’s dinner jacket, because nikolai suspects it has important diplomatic documents sewn into it. Inej is assigned a watch position. As soon as she sees wylan fiddling with the lights, making them flare up and extinguish, she has to dart around the room stealing ladies’ jewels, etc. to cause confusion.

- she sees nina elegantly move from one side of the room to the other, drawing glances all around. She watches her eat chocolate covered strawberries and drink champagne which is handed to her by various important-looking admirers. As much as she tries to push it down, she feels her envy flare up. She knows that if she looked more like nina, if she had a chest and hips like hers she wouldn’t be consigned to the shadows. She could work out in the open.

- kaz, in conversation with one of nikolai’s advisers, sees inej walk out onto the dancefloor in front of him. He can’t help his flare of anger at her not being on her position. He excuses himself from the conversation in order to follow inej.

- he draws her into an alcove outside. her pained gasp at the unexpected, possessive grip of his hand on her arms sends a shiver down his spine. He isn’t deterred, however, and hisses at her: “what are you doing? You are endangering the whole mission. Why aren’t you on your position?” There is a flash of anger in her eyes in response. “You would think that after years of experience in the pleasure house i could be trusted to incite distraction in that way.” The words are bitter and kaz knows she doesn’t mean them.

- “i don’t have much time inej. What is it? We are on a job, in case you had forgotten.” His tone is harsh, but his eyes soften as they look down at her face that is turned away from him. Kaz sees a faint blush creep into inej’s cheeks. “Just because i don’t have a chest like nina’s doesn’t mean i couldn’t do what she’s doing. They always liked the suli for our slender frames. They would ask after us especially. I-”
“Inej, would you really want to do what nina’s doing, when we both know you can hardly bear a man’s touch? Do you really want to go back to selling yourself, even if not fully? This is what you’re good at. I need you to work in te shadows for me. I need you to be my Wraith. I need you, inej.” His words are spoken hastily and harshly. But they hang there between them “i need you”

- “i don’t need you to be any different to the way you are. I don’t need you to be built like nina. For saints’ sake, i wouldn’t-” he swallows, “i wouldn’t care for you any more, if you had a chest like nina’s. Now get back to work.”

- inej leaves to do her bit in the plan, but turns to steal one last glance at kaz. She sees a look of confusion on his face, a look of something like resentment for what she does to him, a look of longing. All this directed at her. She feels the heat rise up her neck for the danger she put the plan into because of her insecurities. If the person, who never looked at anybody but to see how to make profit from them could look at her like that, perhaps there was something alluring about her.

- “oh, sweet, had i known, i would’ve sworn not to be so very liberal with my cleavage for at least a week. No, inej, you really should have told me.”
“It was silly, it was a moment of weakness. You know i could never truly resent you. I - saints, i don’t know what it was that came over me.”
“You are the Wraith. All shadows and ethereal things, while i’m an earthy beauty from ravka. It is what it is.”
Inej smiled at te teasing note in nina’s voice.

Criminal Minds Headcanons/Character Descriptions
  • Emily Prentiss: not-so-secretly a spy, pretends to be past her emo phase- is actually still really emo, speaks 458379803854 languages, lowkey ninja, super chill, the older sister, drives with the windows down, straight up eats ice cubes for no reason, listens to emo music in her room, quiet in a loud sort of way, her laugh is actual magic, wears too much black to be considered healthy, always just a little bit angry, really bad at being the designated driver (always ends up being the most drunk), always up for a good party, cats are her spirit animal, deepest desire is to be a crazy cat lady, knows how to hold her licquor freakishly well, turns 21 every year, cooler than everybody else
  • JJ: eats cheetos like oxygen, little sister/middle child, hair is always perfect, can eat all the junk food she wants without gaining any weight, can kill you with his ninja hands, smells really nice, somehow knows everybody's secrets, good listener, smiles a lot, just really wants to fall in love one day, the popular cheerleader that everybody actually likes, listens to indie music, never not fabulous, wants to have a ton of kids, brings home strays without telling anyone, always the first to volunteer to take care of the class pet
  • Penelope Garcia: that weird neighbor kid that's just always around, nicknamed "the baking grandma" because of the inexplicable way she has of always having baked goods on hand, "Garcia's the name, and witty comebacks are my game", perfect ray of sunshine, an actual human rainbow, everybody has to have at least one pefectly peculiar nickname, will kill you with her ninja-hugs, has a gigantically beautiful sparkling smile, bright pink lipstick, wears too many colors at once, really good at helping you through a breakup, butterscotches in her purse, might be a grandma, computer nerd, can beat anybody at video games, afraid of guns, tries to be tough but doesn't know how, would wear pure glitter if she could, doesn't have a favorite color because if she chose then she would feel bad for all the other colors (it's actually pink)
  • Hotch: the undeniable dad, loves everybody equally, shows people love without words, you know you're in trouble when he gives you one of his famous "hotch glares", only really laughs when he's with the people he loves, his smile will make your knees weak, likes to spoon, strong and silent type, always wears suits for no reason, works too much, secretly a sinnamon bun, will kill you if you mess with the people he loves, cares too much, the proud dad, shows up to ALL recitals and shows, equally passionate and compassionate, crazy good at his job, nobody knows his secrets, secretly amazing at throwing surprise parties, can not bake to save his life, his smile is like the moon and the stars combined, tries to make dad jokes and fails
  • Spencer Reid: king of the dorks, the precious little brother, must be protected at all costs, obsessed with Halloween, plans Halloween an actual year ahead of time, drinks coffee through an IV, book worm, facts, books make him feel safe, refuses to play video games, thinks he's tough but is actually a precious cinnamon bun, owns too many sweaters, purple is definitely his favorite color, apologizes too much, drinks a lot of water, lost count of the number of PhDs he has a long time ago, awkward, never knows what to say, bad social skills, social anxiety, chess tournaments make him happy, eats a lot of cake, owns a scooter
  • Derek Morgan: the amazing big brother, looks out for everyone else before himself, kicks the bullies in the nuts, burgers and fries all the time, captain of the football team but also organizes fundraisers for the needy, likes working out, shovels neighbors' sidewalks/ mows neighbors' lawns without asking, loves and appreciates dogs, lowkey believes that cats are the anti-christ, helps old people cross the street, grocery store runs are always his job, goes on long bike rides just to think
  • David Rossi: aka Captain Sass, the weird uncle, nosy but he's rich so it's okay, DOESN'T KNOW HOW TO STAY IN HIS LANE, always offers to babysit but he has no idea how children work, has so many stories that just can't be true but actually are, thinks he's cool and hip- might actually be but tbd still, somehow knows all, shows up at random times, can cook REALLY REALLY WELL, super Italian, thrives on pasta
  • Jason Gideon: crazy bird guy that lives across the street, makes pecan squares that he thinks are amazing but actually aren't, secretly paints in his basement (like Bob Ross-level paintings), people watches from his front window, awkward pats on the back, doesn't always understand social cues, throws A+ garage sales, yells at other people for not raking the leaves off their lawn in the fall, raises chickens without telling anyone
  • Elle Greenaway: can stab you with a knife, a gun, a chainsaw, and a machete all at the same time, mean older sister, WILL call you on your shit, thinks about death too much, everybody is afraid of her, skipped the emo phase, somehow came out of the womb a traumatized adult, 100% feminist, steals your food when you're not looking, doesn't like hugs, says it like it is, wears a lot of necklaces, confusing, has a thing for a guy in a uniform
  • Kate Callahan: has a lot of friends, seems really badass until she starts gushing about baby animals, volunteers at animal shelters, sorority sister, infinitely loyal, loves everybody until she hates them, knows how to appreciate the simple things, 5'2" of rage and fury and love, pure emotion, loves to cuddle, sometimes people confuse her, just wants to make the world a better place, hates vegetables but eats them anyway, drinks a lot of chocolate milk
  • Alex Blake: reads a lot, blue is her favorite color, went to college earlier than normal, a beautiful nerd, a rare species, deserves the world but gets a cup of coffee instead, underestimated, knows how and when to pull out the sass, ends up being the babysitter on all occasions, more mature than she should be, extremely level-headed, knows how to read between the lines really well, accepts everything thrown her way, underappreciated, needs to be told she's loved more often, breakfast is her favorite meal of the day, makes a lot of sandwiches for no reason at all
  • Tara Lewis: the cousin that everybody always forgets about, gets left behind on family outings and everybody has to go back to get her- she's strangely okay with it, just wants some kettle corn or cotton candy, puts ketchup on everything, shows up at colleges she's never been to just to party, okay with anything as long as she has a say, will talk to anybody, likes getting to know people, would totally speed-date, likes to watch old stand-up comedy and slam poetry videos on YouTube
  • Erin Strauss: won't admit that she's the mom, proud of all her children, owns 8 million sweatshirts from her alma mater that she constantly wears, kinda lonely but will never admit it, hates cooking with a passion, loves wine a little too much, seriously appreciates a good towel, would sell her soul for a massage

ashryan44  asked:

Hey! I saw your post on HOO continuity errors and I was wondering what some of them were. I know the one I picked up was when Blackjack spontaneously turned from female to male😂

There’s a full list on the official wiki here, but I’ll highlight a few of my personal favourites (only ones that actually impact the plot, though there are plenty of ridiculous name swaps that should be noted) for you too:

Plot:

  • [SoN] Thanatos tells Frank after the giant is unconscious that they will meet again in unfavorable circumstances. However, this meeting does not occur at all, even until the end of the series.
  • [SoN] Hazel is told by Pluto that her curse would be washed off by a descendant of Neptune. However, further details about who washed it off, how, where, when, etc., are not mentioned even until the last book.
  • [TLH] When Jason’s memories return, he mentions Hazel as a good friend of his. However in The House of Hades, Hazel admits that she has a hard time warming up to him, and that she can’t get a read on him… This implies that the two barely knew each other before Jason disappears. (He may have considered her a friend while she didn’t return the feeling.)
  • [MoA] Hercules warns Piper and Jason that he will kill them and their friends on the Argo II if they try and contact them. Later when Piper thinks of a plan to pass Hercules without giving him the Cornucopia, she uses an Iris Message to contact them.
  • [HoH] Nico bitterly says that since he is a son of Hades, he has no friends and “might as well be covered in blood or sewage,” judging from how almost all other demigods fear and hate him. However in The Last Olympian after Nico helps save Olympus, Percy states that everybody acted friendly with him and complimented his amazing fighting skills. Even the Ares demigods consider him “pretty cool.”
  • [BoO] Neither Hazel nor Frank’s curses are resolved.
  • [BoO] Percy’s fatal flaw of loyalty doesn’t come into play, despite being hyped up throughout the series.

Timeline:

  • [MoA] Percy mentions that he knew the Romans for weeks. However by this point in the series he had only known the Romans for about ten days, including the time he spent with Frank and Hazel on his quest.
  • [SoN] Percy yells at Hera for taking eight months of his life from him. However Percy was only gone for six months, as he vanished from Camp Half-Blood on December 13 and then appeared at Camp Jupiter in late June. (Percy might have thought that he was gone that long, because Jason went missing from the Roman Camp in October, eight months before the book’s events. He eventually realized his error in The Mark of Athena.) [Even so, where the hell was Percy being kept between December and June????]
  • [TLH] While Jason is looking at the old photo of Annabeth Chase, Luke Castellan, and Thalia Grace in Cabin One, it is said that in the photo Thalia was “maybe fifteen”- however, Thalia couldn’t have been any older than twelve or thirteen at the time the photo was taken.
  • [MoA] Percy mentions that it has been five years since he arrived at Camp Half-Blood. However The Mark of Athena only takes place four years after the events of The Lightning Thief.
  • [Various] Nico’s age is stated to be 14, but according to the timeline of PJO he should only be 13.

Bonus! Things from other books in the universe that don’t match HoO:

PJO:

  • Chiron claims that the Titans are still alive but imprisoned. This seems to be supported by Poseidon telling Percy that the Titans cannot die anymore than the gods can. However, their claims are contradicted in House of Hades when Krios says that Jason Grace killed him.
  • Percy speaks in Latin, although Greek demigods should speak in Greek and not Latin.
  • In The Blood of Olympus, Nico claims that he did not design the Hades cabin despite him designing and having it built in The Last Olympian.

The Demigod Files:

  • During their trek through the Underworld with Nico di Angelo, Percy thinks to himself that because Thalia is now immortal, she had not aged since about a year ago, and that would mean he was now older than her. However, Thalia was a day younger than sixteen when she became a Hunter in The Titan’s Curse, and since The Sword of Hades takes place on Christmas Day of the same year as The Battle of the Labyrinth, Percy would only be about fifteen and a half and therefore younger than Thalia.
  • In The Lost Hero Nyssa tells Leo Valdez that Charles Beckendorf found the Bronze Dragon in pieces and rebuilt it. However, in The Demigod Files, Percy Jackson, Annabeth Chase, and Silena Beauregard were the ones who found the dragon, and Annabeth fixed it.

The Demigod Diaries:

  • Thalia said that Amaltheia led her to find Luke the night that she ran away. But Thalia said that she ran away when Jason disappeared when he was two, and since she was seven when he was born, that would’ve made her nine-years-old, but Thalia and Luke only knew each other a few months before they met Annabeth, and they were 12 and 14-years-old.
  • It is mentioned that Leo has been working on the Argo II for two months, despite this story taking place less than a week after the events of The Lost Hero.

Bonus Bonus! Submitted by other people who read my post:

  • Anonymous said: One thing about your hoo rant that imo you might have missed: in tlh chiron kept saying stuff about him being sworn to secrecy about things but they never actually see what he was being sworn about
  • @hesperathusa said: NO THE MOST ANNOYING THING WAS POSEIDON TEASING PERCY ABOUT HAVING SIBLING IN TLO AND HIM NOT HAVING ANY IN HoO!!!!!!!! Ughhhhhh
  • Anonymous said: Did the scene in BoO with Jason talking to Percy about him wanting to die seem a tad OOC? I know Jason is awkward with stuff like that and all (ie: Cupid scene) but I think he’d know better and encourage Percy to talk it out or something?
  • @percabeth-is-endless added: don’t forget enough with the ‘no demigod will heal your heart’ bullshit with reyna like can she just be healed on her own??
It's Called a Baby Sweetheart-Chapter 5: In Time of Need

Devastated by Heathers recent departure, Nick tries to find comfort and peace by being alone in his home, but a certainty bunny will make sure that his morning is anything but peaceful…

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violetflipflops  asked:

Sooo I have no idea if you take fic requests or not, so ignore if you don't. 🙂 If you do, can I request a Drake x MC fix from the most recent chapter, in which Drake doesn't leave MC's room? I just want to hug them. 😭

Hi, @violetflipflops! I’m not sure if this will make you feel any better, but here’s my take on what would happen if Drake stayed. The whole situation with these two is just heartbreaking right now and I can’t seem to get past that. 

Not Fine

“Just…be careful, okay?”

“Wait…”

Drake pauses, gripping the doorknob tightly. Please don’t, he thinks. Don’t say anything else. It’s taking everything in him to walk out this door.

“Drake, could you…would you please stay?”

“You know I can’t,” he says quietly.

“I know, but…I don’t want to be alone.” Her voice is timid and soft.

Drake finally turns to look at her. Her arms are wrapped tightly around her stomach and he can see even from this distance that she’s trembling.

“You’re not fine, are you?”

“No,” she whispers tearfully, “No, I’m not fine. I know he probably won’t come back, that this was some misunderstanding gone horrifically wrong, but the door doesn’t lock and…”

“I’m right next door, Louisa,” he pleads. He wants to stay, but he shouldn’t, he can’t. For so many, many reasons, he needs to leave right now.

“Please, Drake…I’m just…I’m…”

She’s scared. Drake can see it clearly. She’s out of danger, but what happened here tonight has definitely shaken her and his heart breaks to see it. She’s always so bold and brave, adventurous and impetuous. All that has fallen away in light of what’s happened.

Drake sighs, “Of course, I’ll stay. I’ll take the chaise.”

Slipping his white t-shirt back on, he crosses the room. As he passes her, Louisa reaches out and grasps his hand.

“Thank you for doing this,” she leans up to press a kiss to his cheek.

“I’d do anything for you, Louisa,” he says quietly, looking down at her.

“I know,” she says with a sad smile. “You can take a pillow and blanket from the bed. I’m gonna put my pajamas on.”

“Okay.”

As he settles on the chaise, he tries to ignore the fact that the pillow and blanket is infused with the scent of her. It’s gonna be a long night.

———————————————————

Louisa changes in the bathroom quickly and then slips into her bed. Her hands still tremble slightly as she pulls the heavy quilt up to her chin. She never expected something like this to happen here. She has no idea why Tariq would think she had feelings for him. She hasn’t even see him in weeks. A thousand thoughts whirl around her head, but one stands out, something that came to her when she and Drake were talking earlier.

“Drake?”

She’s met with silence and wonders if he’s already asleep.

“Yeah?”

“You seemed…especially vehement when you said it wasn’t my fault.”

“Because it wasn’t,” he says sharply.

“I know, but I was just wondering…” she hesitates, not sure she should voice her thoughts, “did something like this happen to Savannah?”

Again, silence stretches between them as Louisa waits for him to answer.

“Yes,” he finally says, grief infusing his voice and Louisa feels like crying again.

“Some noble asshole thought because Savannah was a commoner that she was fair game to take whatever the hell he wanted,” Drake explains angrily.

“Did she…was she?”

“No, Bastien found them and kicked the guy’s ass. Which is really good thing, because if I had found them, I probably would have killed him.”

Louisa shivers at Drake’s words. She doesn’t doubt he would do anything and everything to protect someone he loves.

“What happened to the guy?”

“When I told Liam what happened, he and the king banished the bastard.”

“Wow, I didn’t realize that was real thing.”

“Yeah, but it was too late. By then, Savannah had run away,” Drake says mournfully. “She sent me a message once, just once, saying it was all her fault that she must have have led him on. I hated him more than ever for that, for making her feel like something he did was on her. She was innocent and he made her feel guilty. I didn’t even have a chance to make it better, if I even could.” Louisa can hear the heartache in Drake’s voice and she wishes desperately that she had the words to comfort him. How awful for Savannah, for Drake.

“I’m so sorry, Drake,” she whispers.

“Me too.”

They fall silent, both consumed with their own thoughts.  Eventually, Louisa hears Drake’s breathing even out and he begins snoring slightly. She smiles at the sound even as her own thoughts torment her.

When Drake had asked if things would have been different between them if they’d met some other way in some other place, she’d felt such a bittersweet ache. She wishes so badly things were different. She’d come here on a whim, looking for an escape and a chance for an adventure, but the stakes are so much higher than she’d realized. As they approach Liam’s coronation, it’s truly sinking in that these people are looking for a queen. She could be queen. Is that what she wants? Is this the life she wants to live? Is Liam the man she wants to spend the rest of her life with?

No answers come and Louisa tosses and turns for long hours before an exhausted sleep finally claims her.

———————————————————

Drake wakes up sore and uncomfortable. He takes a deep breath and hisses as pain shoots through his bruised ribs. It takes him a moment to remember where he is. Louisa. He slowly rolls over as he sits up. Looking at the large bed, he sees she’s still asleep.

Getting up, he picks up the blanket and walks over to the bed. Louisa is sleeping soundly. Her lips are parted as she breathes quiet, even breaths. Her dark hair is fanned across her face and pillow. Unable to resist, he reaches down and gently brushes the hair back from her face. Seeing her like this feels incredibly intimate and Drake’s heart stops for a moment. He carefully lays his blanket over her. He wishes things were different. More than anything in his life, he wishes he’d met her in some other time or place. He wishes she was his. But she’s not, he thinks to himself. Heart breaking in his chest, he takes one last look at her before slipping out of the room.

All The Bullshit Elphaba Went Through That She Didn't Deserve, Analyzed By Wicked Trash

So we’ll start off with Act I.

Right off, as soon as the show starts, we see these Ozians celebrating the death of this woman. These people are so blind and brainwashed to the point that they would cheer about someone dying. To anyone who’s seen the show, we know Elphaba is alive, and imagine what it felt like to her. I guarantee she heard at least snippets of these people’s celebration and fanfare. Imagine how much it would hurt to hear people so relieved and happy about your own death. Imagine for a second how you would feel if you heard people whom you never did anything to, whom you just wanted to accept you, laugh and cheer about the fact that they were finally rid of you, singing about how no one will mourn you, how the world is better off without you, how no one should nor ever will care about you. And imagine how much it hurt to hear Glinda, her best friend, join in, even if she knew she didn’t mean it. Especially when we know, as strong as Elphaba is, she still lets these sorts of things get under her skin.

“And goodness knows, the wicked cry alone.”

This is awful because of how painfully accurate it is. Just think about how many nights Elphaba spent, trying to hold back tears, wondering what the fuck she ever did to deserve all this.

Not to mention, her tears burn. Canonically, in the book, when she cries, her tears burn her skin. Add that to the immense emotional pain she was in, and it becomes even more unbearable.

But that’s only the beginning.

When she arrives at Shiz, she’s hopeful. She’s always grinning during her entrance? Do you know why? Because she’s excited. She thinks that maybe this place will be different than all the other places she’s been to. And as soon as she turns around, that hope is shattered. People run from her, refuse to look at her, a girl even faints at the sight of her. All because she looks a little different. And you can see in her face how she gradually realizes that her hope was pointless. Because why would it be different? She’s gotten so used to people not accepting her, it doesn't​ even register as something new anymore.

“Alright, let’s get this over with.”

This is something she’s gotten to a point where it seems basically rehearsed. It probably is. She’s made this speech about her skin color so many times it’s probably the same everywhere she goes. She knows deep down that this speech won’t really make a difference, but she tries anyway, because again, she thinks that maybe, maybe this time, things will be different.

And right after this comes her father. Her father who hates her, her father who she knows hates her. He grabs her by the arm and violently drags her away from the other students, with no regard to if he may hurt her or not. He then tells her to stop making a spectacle of herself, and that the only reason she’s there is to look after her sister. And she knows this, she says it with a sort of sadness in her voice. Deep down, she likely wishes that for once, maybe her father could defend her. Or her sister could. Or both. Tell these people to stop being douchebags and to look past her skin color. But they won’t. And she knows it. And that’s why she’s so sad.

On top of that, her father then completely ignores her and turns to Nessa, before giving her a beautiful, likely expensive, handmade gift. For his precious little girl, the “future governor”. At this point, I’d like to point out, Elphaba is older than Nessa. As the firstborn, Elphaba would traditionally be the one to inherit her father’s title, not Nessa. But because her own father can’t even see past her skin color, he completely disregards this and gives everything to Nessa. His love and affection, his gifts, his title, everything. And never once does Elphaba complain, even though it hurts.

Then her father turns to her, and you see a bit of hope return. Maybe, just maybe, he has something in the bottom of that box, something for her. She leans forward to look and he slams it in her face before shoving it into her arms and telling her to make sure she looks after Nessa and stops causing trouble. She tries to laugh it off by joking about how she “clashes with everything”. But there’s an underlying sadness to it. She doesn’t want to clash with everything. She wishes that regardless of that, she could still maybe get a little something. After all, parents are supposed to give their children gifts, aren’t they? But she doesn’t, even though she deserves that much. She never does, even though she deserves it more than Nessa. So much more than Nessa.

“What a tragically beautiful face you have!”

What’s sad about this is Elphaba has been hearing this for years and years. She’s been listening to people tell her sister how beautiful she is, how precious she is, how successful she’s going to be, etc. And never once has anyone ever said that to Elphaba. She’s been living her life not only watching from the sidelines as her sister is given everything, but also never getting even a fraction of what her sister gets herself. But she still loves Nessa regardless. She’s never hated her or resented her for all that she got in Elphaba’s place. She’s, in fact, dedicated her life to taking care of her.

“I’m the other daughter, Elphaba. I’m beautifully tragic.

Now I know this is technically supposed to be a joke. But it’s not actually funny when you think about it. This was her response to someone screaming at the sight of her. Screaming. Which shows she’s used to this. Yet another thing that’s happened so many times she just got used to it. No one so amazing and beautiful should be so used to people screaming at the very sight of her.

“Yes, well, I’m sure you’re very bright.”
“Bright? She’s phosphorescent.”

Another technical joke, I know. Just hear me out. What Madame Morrible says is basically: “Well, you don’t have looks going for you, but you’ve probably got brains or something to compensate.” Which is sort of a twisted way of saying Elphaba is ugly. And what Galinda says is the beginning of an endless barrage of bullying that Elphaba will have to deal with at this school, and that she’s probably dealt with before. Galinda is also the queen bee at this school, so you know anything she does is considered “cool” to the other students. These people will likely try to imitate her. They do try to imitate her. This right here begins the enormous, unfair ganging-up-on-Elphaba that repeats plenty of times throughout the show.

When Madame Morrible insisted on Nessa rooming with her, Elphaba was so distraught that she accidently used magic she didn’t even know how to use. Because a), she loves her sister and wants to look after her herself, but also b), she likely knows that their father will be angry if she just let Nessa be taken off like that. She knows that he would be angry at her. He wouldn’t see reason, he would blame her for what happened, and she wanted to control the situation as fast as she could likely because she was afraid of that. And who wouldn’t be?

Something else about that. You can hear the raw pain in her voice when she’s trying to justify her abilities to Madame Morrible. She’s about to cry. Because she thinks she may have let Nessa down, ruined her chance.

And again, their father.

If he thought Elphaba blew Nessa’s chance at this school, I can’t even imagine what he could’ve done to her.

Now, onto The Wizard and I.

“By my looks, he won’t be blinded.”

Keep in mind that everyone in her life has been “blinded” by her looks. Not one person has ever looked past her exterior and tried to get to know her as a person.

“Cause once you’re with the Wizard, no one thinks you’re strange.”

That’s all she wants. Really, what she wants is for people to see past the fact that she’s different, and for them to see that she’s not as different as everyone perceives her to be.

“No father is not proud of you, no sister acts ashamed.”

And here we have more bullshit from her family. What kind of father isn’t proud of his own child because she was born a different way than most other people? What kind of sister is ashamed of a woman who only wants the best for her?

“And all of Oz has to love you when by the Wizard you’re acclaimed!”

This is it. This right here. What she truly wants.

She wants to be fucking loved. That’s all. She wants someone, anyone in her life to love her. Because at college age, this woman has never felt real love in all her years of living, and that’s all she really wants. Is to know what it’s like to be loved, to know how it feels. Keep in mind that the only goddamn reason she hasn’t felt love before is because she’s a different color than “regular" people.

“Shouldn’t a girl who’s so good inside have a matching exterior?”

Here’s our first instance of seeing how much she actually hates the way she looks. And who could blame her? The way she looks has been used to justify all this hatred towards her for her entire life. By everyone around her. Of course she would want to change that.

“Would it be alright by you if I de-greenify you?”

This is painful, yes, because she thinks she has to change herself in order to be loved. She thinks she has to change the way she looks to be beautiful and accepted by the world. Which no one should ever feel.

But it’s also worse, because we know how much she idolizes the Wizard. She has hope, hope that he can change her life for the better. And she’s clinging to that because it’s the only hope she has right then. Only to have that hope shattered later on.

“But I swear someday there’ll be a celebration throughout Oz that’s all to do with me!”

What’s mostly sad about this is that her “vision” comes true—but in the form of Oz celebrating her death.

“And I’ll stand there with the Wizard, feeling things I’ve never felt!”

This goes back to a point I made earlier—what she means when she says things she’s never felt is basically love and acceptance, affection, things she’s never ever felt before.

The biggest thing about that song is how hopeful and excited she is. She thinks, that for once in her life, something is finally going her way. And it hurts all the more when she finds out it’s not.

As for What Is This Feeling….

“But of course I’ll care for Nessa.”
“But of course I’ll rise above it.”

I think this gives us a painful parallel for Elphaba’s family vesus Galinda’s. Elphaba’s first thought is to reassure her father that it won’t get in the way of her duty to Nessa. That’s the only reason he sent her to that school, remember? Galinda’s first thought is to assure her parents that, don’t worry, even though I’m faced with this, I’ll “rise above it”. As if Elphaba is some sort of obstacle or enemy that needs to be defeated.

“Unusual, and exceedingly peculiar, and altogether quite impossible to describe.”

Yes yes, I know, look at me, over-analyzing all these jokes. Just bear with me, will you? Elphaba is a human being. A regular woman who just happens to be green-colored. But yet, she’s treated as this horrible, disgusting, strange thing (remember the midwife? “It’s atrocious!” And her own father? “It’s obscene!” And she was just a newborn baby then!) that is to be feared and avoided at all costs, when really, the only goddamn thing that’s at all different about her is her skin color.

“Poor Galinda forced to reside with someone so disgusting-i-fied! We just want to tell you, we’re all on your side! We share your loathing!”

Bringing up the “disgusting" point again—because there’s actually nothing disgusting about her. Unless you people really hate the color green that fucking much. That, and the fact that all these people are ganging up on Elphaba. She’s only just gotten here, and like I said earlier, these hoards of people will follow and imitate Galinda, as popular girls tend to work, and this is still only the start of the bullying. The bullying for no real reason other than “Galinda does it, so it must be cool!”

“Maybe some of us are different”

It’s clear that she’s talking mostly about herself here, but it’s even worse when you realize that these words are going to fall on deaf ears. This was a desperate attempt to make these people understand that yeah, some of us are different, and there’s nothing wrong with that. And she knew it would fail, but she tried anyway. And what happens next proves it.

“Well, it seems the artichoke is steamed.”

I know, more jokes, look at me go. But that’s not the point. The point is, her attempt to get them to understand her completely blew up in her face by fueling the bullying even more than it already was being fueled, which was plenty.

“Miss Elphaba has a point.”

Can we just take a moment to appreciate Doctor Dillamond? Because this “old goat” was one of the few people in this show to actually treat Elphaba like a person instead of this disgusting, horrible, evil monster that needs to be put down. He saw her for who she was, a woman who’s willing to fight, fight for herself and what she believes in, even if it costs her everything in the process. How interesting is it that the first character to treat Elphaba like the human being she is is a goat himself? He probably knows exactly what she’s going through. Hell, it happened to him, and it still does.

“You shouldn’t let ignorant statements like that bother you. I mean, I always do, but you shouldn’t.”

This is far from funny to me. Because it’s the first look we get into what Elphaba really feels about all this ridicule, all this hatred. We all know how insanely strong this woman is, don’t we? And I mean, she has to be, with what she’s put through every single day. But right here, and this isn’t the only time, you notice. That she’s not as made-of-steel as she comes off. She’s still bothered and even hurt by the things people say about her.

I cannot enforce this enough—this is a human fucking being. She is the same as everyone else, minus a “normal” skin color. She’s still only human. She laughs, she cries, she’s hurt, just like everyone else. And this is a running theme throughout the show. People don’t treat her like the human being she is. They treat her like a monster, like some sort of abomination, something that’s awful and, well, wicked. But I can’t stress enough how Elphaba is still only human. And how strong she is to put up with all this bullshit, but also how it still hurts her and it still has a lasting effect on her.

“He’ll make it right! That’s why we have a Wizard!”

I’d also like to point out again, here’s more of her undying faith in the Wizard. A faith that gets ripped apart right before her eyes. Just like when she says that something so bad couldn’t happen in Oz. Because she thinks, there’s no way the Wizard could let that happen, not someone as good as him! And she couldn’t be more wrong, and it’s crushing to think about.

“I’m about to have the first happy night of my life!”

Imagine how Elphaba feels hearing that from Nessa. The girl who’s had the happiest life that any other girl would be deeply jealous of. Her sister, who doesn’t seem to ever realize how truly good she has it. And yet, Elphaba still isn’t angry, still doesn’t take it out on her. She says she understands, because she wants Nessa to always be happy, even at the expense of her own happiness.

When Galinda gives Elphaba the hat, we all know it’s a joke, right? Hell, Elphaba probably thought so too. She’s not an idiot, they didn’t sing a whole duet about loathing each other for nothing. But think about this—that hat is likely one of the only gifts Elphaba has ever gotten. Imagine her, growing up, never getting any birthday gifts, never being given anything just because, and watching as those things were all given to Nessa. And I think that’s part of the reason she accepts the hat. Because she thinks, prank or not, this could be a good thing, something she likes. And it ends up being just that.

Not to mention, this prank gift and what Galinda “did” for Nessa prompts Elphaba to go so far as to force Madame Morrible to include Galinda in her sorcery seminar. Someone Elphaba knows doesn’t really like Galinda, who has very low expectations of her. Elphaba jeopardizes her only chance to meet the Wizard, to maybe, in her mind, be “normal”, and finally be accepted the way she wants to, by threatening to give it all up by quitting the seminar, just to say thank you for a prank gift, but a gift nonetheless, and a “helping hand” to her sister.

If that’s not selfless, I don’t know what is.

Another thing: everyone at the party screams and recoils away from Elphaba, points at her, laughs, when she enters the room, and she just walks on by like it’s nothing. Because again, she’s used to it. This is something that’s happened to her so often she’s actually trained herself to hide the way she truly feels about it. Hence why when Fiyero mentions how she doesn’t seem to care about what others think, Galinda realizes. In that moment, she realizes. Elphaba does care, she’s just learned to hide it. And no one, especially not someone like her, should ever have to go through that.

And afterwards, with Elphaba and Galinda, in their room, there’s even more. When Elphaba says her father hates her, Galinda’s reaction is of course shock. Which is the type of reaction most people would have. But Elphaba shrugs that off, and says that it’s not her secret, as if it’s no big deal. As if the fact that her father hates her is old news. And it is. Because let’s not forget, she’s been putting up with her father hating her for her entire life, and it only got worse as she was older.

Not to mention the fact that she really and truly thinks he has a good reason. She actually believes that it’s her fault, that because she was simply born the way she was, her father has a good reason to hate her. That him being paranoid about and terrified of the concept that his second child could turn out to be a different fucking color and in turn disabling her sister is somehow her doing. She actually thinks that just by being born, she was the one who caused it. And this is all her father’s doing. I guarantee you, her father raised her to believe Nessa’s condition was her fault, drilled it into her head from a young age. Because he needed someone to blame, and why not blame the green daughter that he was so deeply disappointed in simply for being a different color?

And during Popular, we see again how low her self-esteem is. She’s insisting to Galinda that she could never be a “normal” girl. She could never truly fit in, especially not with the crowd Galinda is a part of. Or at least, she doesn’t think she could.

And when Galinda calls her beautiful, we know why she runs away. Because that’s the first time in her life anyone has ever called her beautiful. And she has no idea how to deal with it, no idea how to take the compliment, and really, doesn’t even believe it’s true.

Moving on, when Elphaba saves the Lion cub, she risks everything. She likely could’ve been expelled for that, considering how anti-Animal Shiz seems to be. Imagine how angry her father would be if she were expelled, after he sent her somewhere so prestigious. Imagine how ashamed she would feel on behalf of Nessa (“no sister acts ashamed", remember?). But she doesn’t care about all that. She doesn’t really care about what happens to her. All she wants is to save this innocent Lion. And something so selfless is twisted into something evil later on.

“Do you think I want to care this much? Do you think I don’t know how much easier my life would be if I didn’t?”

Now this is of course about the Animals, and about how she cares too much about them to just let these people mistreat them. But it can also be applied to the ridicule she gets. She doesn’t want these types of things to affect her, but she just can’t help it, because again, she believes them herself.

Another thing I’d like to point out it all of the shit that happened to her, all of the slander and “Wicked Witch of the West” bullshit that happened later, was because she cared. Because she cared too goddamn much to just let it go. She couldn’t let the Wizard get away with his actions. And that cost her everything.

All she wanted was to help.

She cared too much to let it go.

And look where it fucking got her.

Now, I’m Not That Girl seems like a typical “I like a guy” song on the surface. But that’s really not what it’s about at all. It’s not about how Elphaba is in love with Fiyero, at least, not completely. It’s one entire song dedicated to how she believes that she isn’t good enough for Fiyero. That Fiyero could never love someone like her. That, just because she’s a little different, he’s like this unreachable dream that she tells herself to forget—”wishing only wounds the heart”—because she thinks that she doesn’t deserve him. That he could never be happy with her. All because of this idea that’s been drilled into her head about how her difference is this horrible thing. Something that’s been told to her by her family and everyone around her for years and years, for so long that she just adopted that way of thinking herself.

Something that’s the root of her rock-bottom self-esteem. Just imagine how different things would be if she’d grown up with loving parents, like Galinda, for example, who told her she was beautiful and perfect at every opportunity, like a parent is supposed to do. But she wasn’t convinced to love herself. Instead, she was trained to hate herself by being hated by the very people whose one job it is to love her and care for her. This mentality was only further cemented by the people around her, and how they “hated” her too.

This woman hates herself and the way she looks, and is used to others (and her own damn family) thinking that about her as well. It’s happened enough times for her to be used to it, and not be surprised when it happens. It’s happened enough times for her to adopt that mentality herself. But still, not enough times for it not to hurt. Not enough times for her to be able to ignore it. Because, like I’ve said, you’d have to be ridiculously strong to be able to do that. And she is, no doubt about that. But the reason she can’t deflect it is because she believes it herself. Deep down, she thinks that these people are justified in their ridicule of her. And how could she not? That’s what she’s been raised to think, what’s been forced upon her since she was born. The people in this woman’s life have been so horrible to her that she a), barely even registers it anymore, b), doesn’t register it as a bad thing, c), believes that they’re justified in their opinions, and d), does it to herself.

She beats herself up on a daily basis by accepting these people’s horrible opinions of her as truth. Because again, she’s been brought up to do that. To believe those things.

She has literally been raised, trained to hate herself, by people who are supposed to raise her to think the opposite.

How fucked up is that?

And then, at the train station, off to see the Wizard (pun fully intended), Elphaba is finally getting her wish. Finally, something is going her way. Yet she almost throws that away to comfort her sister. This alone shows how much she truly loves Nessa, and how much she’s willing to sacrifice for her, even though she gets nothing in return.

And then, when she’s talking to Galinda before Fiyero arrives, she asks about him, and then immediately brushes it off as unlikely. Because she thought that maybe, after their little moment that day, maybe Fiyero would remember. Maybe Fiyero would come and say goodbye to her.

Maybe Fiyero does care about her.

But she immediately laughs it off, because she thinks it’s silly. Silly that someone like him could care about someone like her.

Yet another instance of that rock-bottom self-esteem.

And that’s why she’s so surprised to see him when he does show up.

And afterwards, we have One Short Day.

“It’s all grand! And it’s all green!

She’s so happy that she’s finally found a place where she feels she belongs. She’s never felt like she belonged anywhere. Not even her own home. And this place holds so much hope and potential for her, hope and potential that’s going to be crushed before her eyes.

“I want to remember this moment. Always. Nobody’s staring. Nobody’s pointing. For the first time I’m somewhere where I belong.”

I honestly don’t think there’s much that needs to be said for this. She’s finally found a place that feels like home to her. A safe place. She’s never been anywhere where someone isn’t laughing or pointing at her. She doesn’t know what it feels like to fit in. And now that she feels she finally does, she’s the happiest she’s ever been.

I’d also like to point out that the people who accepted her as their own one minute turned on her the next just by a few words from their Wizard, but we’ll get into that later.

Elphaba goes to the Wizard with high hopes. She proves herself by helping Chistery, completely unaware of the consequences. She’s tricked, manipulated into doing what the Wizard wants. And then, she realizes. When she says “You have no real power”, you can hear the pain in her voice. Because this is a turning point. A point where she’s now aware of what a monster the man she once idolized is. Imagine for a moment someone you hold up on a pedestal, someone you idolize and would do anything for, really. You have high expectations for those people, don’t you? And imagine how heartbreaking it would be to find out that they were nothing like you thought they were. Imagine how awful you would feel if your idol turned out to be a sick, twisted bastard. Because that’s exactly what happened to Elphaba.

Not only that, she was hoping that this man could help her. “De-greenify” her. Make her “normal”. Help her fit in. And she’s just come to the realization that he can’t even do that.

It’s a double kick to the gut for her, and she still finds a way to gather her wits about her and make a decision. A decision in the midst of all this that she thinks she won’t regret. And I’m sure, in some ways, she doesn’t. But in plenty of other ways, she does.

She chooses to keep her integrity. Keep herself. Keep her own soul, go with her gut, and fight against this monster. And of course, it costs her. It costs her so many things. But in that moment, how could she know? How could she know the sacrifices that would have to be made? I’m sure she did to some extent, though not fully, but that’s what also makes it a selfless decision. She was willing to throw herself into the roaring masses, throw herself under the bus, in order to keep fighting for these Animals. In order to keep fighting for what she believed in.

This is also where the slander starts. The fact that she was tricked into using that spell on the monkeys is twisted to make it her fault. Madame Morrible goes so far as to call her a distortion and a repulsion, and makes a mention of her green skin. Something else that wasn’t her fault, that wouldn’t actually be a bad thing that’s being made to seem like one.

And this is THE turning point.

“This…Wicked Witch!”

That’s where it starts.

Where it all starts.

She’s known no longer as Elphaba by anyone anymore.

She’s The Wicked Witch of the West now.

No one questions it, protests, no one tries to help her. They all go along with it, because it’s easy. Because Elphaba made the hard choice to fight, they’re making the easy choice to accept the fallacy that she’s wicked for that.

And it only gets worse from there.

However, Defying Gravity is one of Elphaba’s breakout songs. She’s tired of resting on her laurels. She’s tired of watching from the sidelines as these Animals are having their rights taken away. And for once, she’s actually confident in herself. Confident that she can do this, that she can make a difference—”I’m through with playing by the rules of someone else’s game”.

And the “too long I’ve been afraid of losing love I guess I’ve lost. Well if that’s love, it comes at much too high a cost!” line is a huge part of this too. Because we know she’s never really felt genuine love before, and she was really just starting to feel it with Glinda. So she’s basically saying, why should I stay? Why should I just hide in the shadows when I really don’t have anything to lose? She doesn’t care about her own well-being, and she doesn’t have anyone else to care about the well-being of.

Aside from Glinda, and that’s why she invited her to come with her. That’s why she tried so hard to convince her to leave all the bullshit behind and actually do something important.

And then, when Glinda refuses, of course they’re both upset. But Elphaba isn’t going to let that get in the way. Because she’s finally free. She’s finally flying.

And nobody in all of Oz, no Wizard that there is or was, is ever gonna bring her down.

Or at least, so she thought.

Act II Coming Soon.

Sincerely, An Angel Like Elphaba Didn’t Deserve This Shit

anonymous asked:

Prompt: Furihata gets the flu and Akashi doesn't really know what to do (I really love the series and how the characters are written! Thank you for making such an amazing series!)

“Shintarou-kun, your…friend is here to see you,” Dr. Kishitani says from his doorway.

“Takao?” Midorima says, confused, since surely Kishitani would not be so hesitant to say Takao’s name, but he can’t think of anyone else who would be suddenly visiting him.

“No,” Kishitani says, and he seems equally confused. “Seijuurou-kun.”

Midorima is seconds away from saying, “I don’t know anyone by that name,” because he doesn’t know any Seijuurous in Shutoku, before his brain processes things. “Akashi?” Kishitani nods. “Here?” Kishitani nods again.

He has the distinct feeling that absolutely nothing good can come from the fact that Akashi Seijuurou is suddenly at his house.

*

They sit in the living room. Dr. Kishitani brought them tea, but it just sits between them, untouched. Naoko poked her head out to say hello but retreated back to her bedroom when confronted with the tense atmosphere.

“Why are you in Tokyo, Akashi?” Midorima asks finally, even though the real question is, Why are you in my house?

Akashi looks stiff and withdrawn, which in turn only frightens Midorima, because surely something terrible must have happened (again) for Akashi to look like that. Finally, Akashi speaks. “Furihata has the flu.”

After a beat, Midorima says, “…Ah.”

Because, strangely, he knows exactly what the problem is, and actually sympathizes quite a bit. Although, Akashi’s presence in his house still remains a mystery. “And… why are you not with him, then?”

Akashi sighs, long and suffering. He takes out his cellphone and presses a few buttons, then a loud and heavily congested voice starts speaking, “AKASHI SEIJUUROU I SWEAR TO GOD I’M GOING TO BE SO PISSED IF YOU SHOW UP AT MY HOUSE. I AM SNOTTY AND GROSS AND SUPER DISGUSTING AND YOU DO NOT NEED TO COME HERE FROM KYOTO TO STARE AT ME WHEN I AM SNOTTY AND GROSS AND DISGUSTING.”

“…Ah,” Midorima says again, after the message finishes playing.

“I was already on the plane,” Akashi says, and if he were any other person Midorima would think he was sulking.

“Had he told you before not to come?”

“Yes. Repeatedly.”

Midorima stops himself from saying “ah” again. “All things considered, if he is capable of being that loud, he is probably fine,” he offers, but Akashi doesn’t look like he takes consolation in this. There is a long silence and then finally Midorima says, “Would you like to play shogi?”

“Alright,” Akashi says.

*

For the first time in his life, Midorima is thoroughly beating Akashi at shogi and he can’t even enjoy it.

“Takao was sick once,” Midorima offers. Because he understand what Akashi is going through, and he feels the least he can do is sympathize. “It happens to humans. Fairly regularly, I am given to understand.”

“I know,” Akashi says, his lips tightening. “Humans are incredibly poorly designed. I somewhat understand the impulse to build a better one.”

It is just as well that Akashi came here and not to his boyfriend’s, Midorima thinks. He would not be a very comforting presence at the moment. “That is not a train of thought we should follow, Akashi,” Midorima says, as gently as he can while still being firm. Because Akashi might actually decide… and well, it’s better in the long run if Akashi doesn’t look into genetic engineering.

“Sometimes they just die,” Akashi says. “You understand that, don’t you? They just die. For no reason at all.”

“I do understand that.” Midorima says. Dr. Kishitani’s wife had died from cancer. It terrified Midorima to think that could happen without warning and there was nothing that could be done. He feels the need to point out, “But, to be fair, Projects did not have a very high life expectancy either,” because it’s not like death was something new to them. People died all the time.

“It’s different,” Akashi says.

And that’s true. It is different. Because they were Successes, and Successes did not break down. (Like White. He tries hard not to bring up White, since surely that will not help matters now.)

“Perhaps it would be best if you spent the night here,” Midorima says. He is a little worried about what Akashi might do, if left to his own devices.

Akashi must be worried about that too, because he just nods and says, “Thank you, Midorima. I appreciate it.”



A/N: ahahaha, sorry, anon-friend. Having written a couple renditions of sickfic in Designation: Miracle, I wanted to do something slightly different this time and it sorta ended up with way more angst than anticipated. Sorryhopeyouenjoyedanyway!!

The Three List | Barry & Iris | Script Fic
  • Barry: Hey, Iris?
  • Iris: Yeah, hun?
  • Barry: Do you remember when you were with Eddie & you told me about your 3's list?
  • Iris: My 3's list?
  • Barry: Yeah, you know, three guys you could cheat on Eddie with.
  • Iris: *snorts* oh, right. My 3 list.
  • Barry: You don't still HAVE that, do you?
  • Iris: *blinks* What?
  • Barry: Your 3 list. Do you still have it?
  • Iris: Uh...probably somewhere. Why?
  • Barry: *clears throat* I was just wondering if Oliver was still on it.
  • Iris: *smirks & crawls over to him* Babe, you know that's not a serious thing, right?
  • Barry: what do you mean?
  • Iris: *laughs* even if Oliver had given my fangirl self the time of day when I was with Eddie, I wouldn't have slept with him.
  • Barry: *blinks* you wouldn't have?
  • Iris: *laughs* Who do you think I am, Bear? You think 'he's on my three list!' would've sufficed if Eddie had caught us in bed together?
  • Barry: *blushes fiercely* No, I guess not.
  • Iris: *cups face* Babe, you've got nothing to worry about. *kisses him* You're the only one I want.
  • Barry: *after many kisses & sweet nothings whispered* But is Oliver still--
  • Iris: *rolls eyes & gets off him* oh, for crying out loud.
  • Barry: Wait, Iris, I didn't mean-
  • Iris: You most certainly did. *starts to walk away*
  • Barry: *panics* Iris-
  • Iris: Calm down. I'll be right back. *dashes up the stairs & comes back 10 minutes later* Found it!
  • Barry: *shifts towards her, eyes wide* What did you... *spots piece of paper she's holding* Oh.
  • Iris: *hands paper over* Take a look for yourself.
  • Barry: *scans list of names & frowns* He's still on it.
  • Iris: Mhmm.
  • Barry: This doesn't make me feel any better, Iris.
  • Iris: *crosses arms* that's the original list. I only updated it once, a couple months after I'd moved in with Eddie.
  • Barry: *still frowning* where's that one?
  • Iris: *makes circling motion with her finger*
  • Barry: *checks the other side* This one looks pretty much the same. I don't see-- *jaw drops*
  • Iris: *starts to grin* See something you like, hun?
  • Barry: Am...Am I...? *squeaks*
  • Iris: *nods* Mhmm.
  • Barry: I'm in the number 2 spot!
  • Iris: That's one above Oliver, I believe.
  • Barry: *still gawking* I don't understand.
  • Iris: *comes & sits next to him on the couch* After you told me how you felt when I was with Eddie, I had a lot of feelings that I didn't know how to deal with. Then when Eddie got all secretive on me I started thinking about you even more, and how my best friend would NEVER keep secrets from me the way my boyfriend was doing.
  • Barry: *winces* sarcasm is warranted.
  • Iris: in the past. *waves it off*
  • Barry: *swallows hard & nods*
  • Iris: That night when I came back to my dad's & you were there reassuring me, I felt like that was a safe place to put them. My feelings for you.
  • Barry: On your 3 list?
  • Iris: *nods* On my 3 list.
  • Barry: Did Eddie ever see it?
  • Iris: *laughs* Are you kidding? If Eddie had seen the updated version, he would've figured out what was up right away, even before I did.
  • Barry: And what was up?
  • Iris: *smiles & gently kisses him* I was in love with my best friend.
  • Barry: *has warm fuzzies* Iris...
  • Iris: So, you can keep that if you like. Oliver's name is still on it - BENEATH yours though. I don't have a need for it anymore. I haven't looked at it until today in over two years.
  • Barry: Yeah?
  • Iris: *nuzzles & kisses* yeah. You're all I want, Bear. If I can't have you, there's no one else I want. Not even a one night stand with a celebrity.
  • Barry: *smiles*
  • Iris: Do YOU have a 3 list? *raises eyebrows*
  • Barry: WHAT? *squeaks*
  • Iris: You heard me.
  • Barry: Iris.
  • Iris: BARRY.
  • Barry: *sighs & then laughs* I have a 1 list.
  • Iris: *eyebrow furrow* What's a 1 list?
  • Barry: *pulls out wallet & digs out tiny scrap of paper inside & hands it to her* Same thing as a 3 list. Except mine only has 1 name on it.
  • Iris: *jaw drops when she reads it* I'M the only name on your 3 list??
  • Barry: *grins & pulls her close* Yep.
  • Iris: But of all he gorgeous celebrities, even SCIENCE NERDS, you only chose--
  • Barry: You're the only one I've wanted since the day that I met you.
  • Iris: *teary-eyed* Barry...
  • Barry: Getting a chance with you? 10 times better than any hook up with ANY celebrity.
  • Iris: *sighs contently & kisses him* I love you, Barry Allen.
  • Barry: I love you, Iris West.
  • Iris: *nuzzles & pulls away after a while* So what are you going to do with my 3 list?
  • Barry: Give it back to you. *hands it over* You decide what to do with it.
  • Iris: *grins* Mmk. *pecks him in the cheek, stands up & heads to the roaring fireplace*
  • Barry: Wait, Iris, what are you doing?! *speeds over*
  • Iris: Getting rid of it. I don't need it anymore.
  • Barry: Well, maybe you should keep it. You know, as a keepsake.
  • Iris: *eyes him suspiciously* Why do you want it?
  • Barry: *I* don't want it. It's yours. I gave it back to you. So you--
  • Iris: BARRY.
  • Barry: *swallows* I mean, you ranked me ABOVE Oliver, so...
  • Iris: OHMYGOD. *rolls eyes & shoves it into his hand* You keep it. It'll be YOUR keepsake. *walks back to the couch & sits down*
  • Barry: It's not really MINE, so--
  • Iris: *gives him THE LOOK* one more word, Barry, and I WILL throw it to the flames. Not even your superspeed will stop me.
  • Barry: *nods & swallows* Right. *tucks paper into pocket & comes to sit next to her* So...
  • Iris: *raises eyebrow*
  • Barry: Now what?
  • Iris: *irritation fades away & she pulls him close, kissing him* Now I get some one-on-one time with #2 on my 3 list.
  • Barry: *pulls back after a few kisses* I thought you just said--
  • Iris: I swear to God, Barry, if you don't just kiss me--
  • Barry: *speeds them up their bedroom, drops her on the bed & takes off t-shirt, then hovers over her & kisses her, lingering*
  • Iris: *moans* Don't tell my boyfriend about this. He'll be extremely jealous.
  • Barry: *restrains groan* On my life. *mutters & kisses her again*
  • ...
  • A/N: Just did (as of 4/2/17) a bit of an edit, b/c I watched the 1.08 scene & realized it's actually called a 'three' list, not a 'threes' list. So I changed all those & added a short line to something Iris said early on.
Hopeless Fountain Kingdom sentence starters
  • "He said one day I'd realize why I don't have any friends."
  • "I find myself alone at night unless I'm having sex."
  • "He can make me golden."
  • "I don't let him touch me anymore."
  • "I'm not something to butter up and taste when you get bored."
  • "I have spent too many nights on dirty bathroom floors."
  • "Please don't go away."
  • "It's too late."
  • "I can't stop thinking that I almost gave you everything."
  • "Now the whole thing's finished and I can't stop wishing that I never gave you anything."
  • "You wrote 100 letters just for me and I find them in my closet in the pockets of my jeans."
  • "Now I'm constantly reminded of the time I was 19."
  • "He said 'please don't go away',I said 'it's too late.'"
  • "I almost gave you everything."
  • "I can't stop wishing that I never gave you anything."
  • "I know how to play, I know this game."
  • "It's all the same."
  • "He'll never stay, they never do."
  • "If I keep my eyes closed, he feels just like you."
  • "You've been replaced."
  • "I'm face to face with someone new."
  • "Would've gave it all for you."
  • "Tell me where I went wrong."
  • "Tell me how to move on."
  • "They don't realize that I'm thinking about you."
  • "Can you hear my heartbeat fucking kickin'?"
  • "You best believe that I got something on my sleeve."
  • "I walk my talk, no time for wishful thinking."
  • "You thought that you were the boss tonight, but I can put up one good fight."
  • "I can put on a show."
  • "This is Heaven in hiding."
  • "I don't have no time for conversation."
  • "A girl like me is new for you."
  • "I can tell you mean it cause you're shaking."
  • "I'm Heaven in hiding."
  • "He tried to phone me, but I never have time."
  • "He said that I never listen, but I don't even try."
  • "Everywhere I go, I got a million different people tryna' kick it."
  • "I'm still alone in my mind."
  • "Baby, as soon as you meet me, you'll wish that you never did."
  • "I got into some trouble with that drink in my veins."
  • "I got a problem with parties 'cause it's loud in my brain."
  • "I can never say sorry 'cause I won't take the blame."
  • "I know I always go missing."
  • "You ask why I'm distant,oh, I'm runnin' away."
  • "I know you're dying to meet me."
  • "I know you wanna slip under my armor."
  • "I don't wanna fight right now."
  • "Been through the ups and the downs with me."
  • "Got a whole lot of love, but you don't wanna spread it 'round with me."
  • "Never pick up, never call me."
  • "You know we're runnin' out of time."
  • "Need to know that you're mine."
  • "I want you to love me now or never."
  • "I'm callin' it a night now."
  • "Wishin' you were 'round with me, but you're in a different town than me."
  • "We've been through it all, but you could never spit it out for me."
  • "Tryna talk to a wall, but you could never tear it down for me."
  • "I need you to make your mind up."
  • "I've missed your calls for months it seems."
  • "Don't realize how mean I can be."
  • "I can sometimes treat the people that I love like jewelry."
  • "I didn't mean to try you on."
  • "I still know your birthday and your mother's favorite song."
  • "Sorry that I can't believe that anybody ever really starts to fall in love with me."
  • "Sorry I could be so blind."
  • "Didn't mean to leave you and all of the things that we had behind."
  • "I run away when things are good."
  • "Never really understood the way you laid your eyes on me, in ways that no one ever could."
  • "So it seems I broke your heart, my ignorance has struck again."
  • "I failed to see it from the start, and tore you open 'til the end."
  • "Someone will love you, but someone isn't me."
  • "There's a place where love conquers all."
  • "Don't trust the moon, she's always changing."
  • "The shores bend and break for her and she begs to be loved."
  • "Nothing here is as it seems."
  • "Sun is coming up."
  • "I get the message, you wish I was dead."
  • "Please don't take this as a threat."
  • "If you don't love me no more, then lie."
  • "I'm about four minutes from a heart attack."
  • "I think you make me a maniac."
  • "We both been here since we seventeen."
  • "Here we go, fist fight in a limousine."
  • "We both hope there's something, but we both keep fronting."
  • "Damn, if these walls could talk."
  • "I ain't your baby no more."
  • "Told my new roommate not to let you in."
  • "Got a boy back home in Michigan and it tastes like Jack when I'm kissing him."
  • "I never really liked his friends."
  • "Now he's gone and he's calling me a bitch again."
  • "He wants me in the kitchen with a dinner plate."
  • "I believe that we're meant to be."
  • "Jealousy gets the best of me."
  • "I don't mean to frustrate, but I always make the same mistakes."
  • "I'm bad at love."
  • "You can't blame me for trying."
  • "I'd be lyin' sayin' you were the one that could finally fix me."
  • "Got a girl with California eyes, and I thought that she could really be the one this time."
  • "I never got the chance to make her mine."
  • "She fell in love with little thin white lines."
  • "We never told no one, but we look so cute."
  • "Both got way better things to do."
  • "I always think about her when I'm riding through."
  • "I'm in too deep."
  • "I don't mean to frustrate."
  • "I always make the same mistakes."
  • "I'm bad at love, but you can't blame me for trying."
  • "You were the one."
  • "I know that you're afraid I'm gonna walk away."
  • "I know that you're afraid I'm gonna walk away each time the feeling fades."
  • "I don't give a damn what you say to me."
  • "There ain't no time for games with me."
  • "I'm moving on."
  • "I am not the type to be out past dawn."
  • "Can't fuck up my vibe."
  • "Motherfucker, don't play with me."
  • "Women don't play no games."
  • "She doesn't kiss me on the mouth anymore."
  • "It's more intimate, than she thinks we should get."
  • "She doesn't look me in the eyes anymore, too scared of what she'll see."
  • "We're not lovers, we're just strangers."
  • "She doesn't call me on the phone anymore."
  • "She doesn't let me have control anymore."
  • "I must've crossed a line, I must've lost my mind."
  • "When I wake up all alone, and I'm thinking of your skin, I remember what you told me."
  • "I miss the mornings with you laying in my bed."
  • "I miss the thought of a forever, you and me."
  • "All you're missing is my body."
  • "We're not lovers, we're just strangers with the same damn hunger to be touched, to be loved, to feel anything at all."
  • "I woke up to another mess in the living room."
  • "Conversation's getting hard."
  • "Nobody seems to ask about me anymore, and nobody seems to care 'bout anything I think."
  • "Everybody, look at me!"
  • "I'm faded away, you know, I used to be on fire."
  • "I'm standin' in the ashes of who I used to be."
  • "I used to be a darling starlet like a centerpiece, had the whole world wrapped around my ring."
  • "It's my own anxiety that makes the conversation hard."
  • "Nobody ever cares 'bout anything I think."
  • "I should eat my feelings."
  • "I still let everyone down."
  • "I'm too much to handle, I shine too bright."
  • "I don't wanna wake it up; the devil in me."
  • "Boy, you make it look so easy."
  • "Promise that I'm gonna call you back in five."
  • "Yeah, I've known that girl for like my whole life."
  • "The truth hurts, but secrets kill."
  • "Still here, there must be something real."
  • "You know the good die young, but so did this."
  • "It must be better than I think it is."
  • "Gimme those eyes, it's easy to forgive."
  • "You and all your friends all hate me."
  • "You're better when I'm not around."
  • "I can't help the way you made me."
  • "The good die young, but so did this, so it must be better than I think it is."
  • "I hope hopeless changes over time."

anonymous asked:

I’m torn! I liked the episode but I also feel really anxious about it. Why Oliver doesn't trust her anymore? He admitted that he and Diggle had let her fall deeper and that maybe she didn't feel like she belonged this season and yet he doesn't back her play. Help me understand this please because I don't want to think like this about him. I wanted to enjoy episode 20 but this is upsetting.

Don’t come to tumblr/twitter much because of my job but I love Arrow, though I’ve only been watching it for a year. There are some I’ve been following that were really vocal about 5.19: they’ve basically been saying Oliver isn’t good enough for Felicity now and are angry at him for not trusting/backing her like she has him. Is it them who don’t understand or me? I thought it showed Oliver afraid. No mistrusting. And Felicity asking for equality. I saw a reply you gave once but I don’t know anyone who does them like that.

I wasn’t going to answer these initially because I feel they’ve been answered so fully by the names just below this but… I HAVE AN ABUNDANCE OF OLICITY FEELS THAT CANNOT BE DENIED.

I needed to vent them! Overuse of gifs ahoy!

OK, first? Q2 Anon: I can give you the names of a few people who answer questions FAR better than I ever could if you’d like?

There’s @jbuffyangel (who did her usual amazing review of the episode which should answer all of your questions/worries) @callistawolf and @louiseblue1

There are others that I’m sure you’ll find if you explore a bit ;)

There isn’t really much I can say past what hasn’t already been said by the 3 above.

But I need to clarify (even though you can’t answer) something Anon 1. You liked the episode?

JUST liked?

Well I just about had a mini coronary. Honey, I don’t think you were seeing it properly. Episode 19 was like a piece fanfiction come to life. It was an episode to grin hard about and watch whilst gripping the edge of your seat. Something to feel deep in your chest the next day.

Everything in it – EVERY SINGLE SCENE – was a moment I’ve been waiting on pins to see.

And I mean, purely from the point of view of a fan: how could you not adore the return of the looks and the talking:

Originally posted by legends-of-today

Originally posted by andjustforthismoment

True, I DO think they made us wait a tad too long (kill me now – @scu11y22 knows especially, after episode 9 how close I came to having a full on shit-fit – but just a shit-fit, not a loss of hope) for this but I also believe that they wanted the whole Prometheus Vs Oliver = Oliver’s lowest moment score to occur prior to any progression that could be made between Oliver and Felicity…

It’s because they want them - their steps back to each other - to be part and parcel with Prometheus’s defeat.

And Prometheus is representative of Oliver’s demons. Of his darkness and his pain. 

Originally posted by mogirl97

Something he can no longer run from like he has been doing for years. What he needs to face and defeat, to strive beyond.

It’s all so that the penultimate moment, episode 20, can mean so much more and have triple the affect it would have had without this.

Oliver can’t defeat Prometheus with his current mind-set. He can’t even stand against him: Prometheus has broken a vital piece of Oliver’s soul: his hope.

Think about it: Olicity closing the gap between them - healing that breach - each and reuniting possibly leading to the defeat of Prometheus. And what’s necessary for the defeat of Prometheus? For Oliver to step forwards into a light of his own making. A mission of his own choosing.

How much more epic can you get?

But you (Anon 1) (Anon 2, you’re fine girl/boy;)) were referring more to the deceptive lack of trust in this episode, correct?

That supposed absence of trust, the very thing that put a pause on this whole relationship? It’s an Oliver Queen smokescreen. Possibly subconscious on his part, at least initially. A not-so-flimsy cover up for Oliver’s real problem. A problem they’re going to bring about, in GREAT and uncompromising detail, in episode 20.

But let’s get into specifics.

It’s what we’ve been waiting for. And all of it, everything, was good. Everything coming will be better.

I think a problem a lot of people might also be having at the moment is the sudden rise of emotional intensity in the show.

Originally posted by yourreactiongifs

Yes, I know: random. But.

Arrow has always been intense but it increases with each season: the actors are pushed into doing scenes and playing roles they’ve never done before, into bending rules and breaking past boundaries. Season 5 has been exemplary in this. But there’s been an upswing from episode 16, especially in regards to OTA and Olicity, that wasn’t as present earlier on. It’s been very welcome, but also, a bit of a shock.

They’ve had to wait you see: there’s been too much story to tell first. We got a lot of Olicity before anything else in season 4 so they needed to be true to their other stories first but you all know the other reasons as well. Lord know’s I’ve gone on about them too.

So now, everything feels powerful. Penetrating. Worrying? The script was so forceful in Dangerous Liasons, so intense: every scene featuring Oliver and Felicity was a scene that left a mark on the audience. People are feeling the heat - the kind of heat exhibited in 3.20 - and it’s such a burn that it people might consider it an omen.

Don’t feel anxious about it: not at all. It’s about facing the truth. About Oliver and Felicity facing each other. About facing themselves…

And they found themselves in each other once upon a time.

Originally posted by curvygeekyfangirl

That still holds true. There was no way in hell that they were going to get to the root of each of their issues without them coming back to each other.

Oliver.

There’s no one he trusts, respects and admires more than Felicity Smoak.

But being honest with her - telling her about his 5.17 revelation (something he had to understand himself first) about his reasoning behind why he’s done what he’s done over the years - is something he thinks will make her fall out of love with him.

But it also might save her from becoming him.

This has absolutely nothing to do with trust.

For the first time, Felicity is the one he and Dig have to worry about… and like big tough Alpha males, it throws them completely out of whack.

Originally posted by emilybuttrickards

It’s not about a lack of trust or a deliberate choice not to be there for her when she has been there for him every single time he needed someone.

He can’t possibly be ok with her behaving like him because she’s more. She’s better. She’s the example he measures all other acts of goodness and evil against. No other woman (or man) has come close.

Originally posted by songbin

Originally posted by meafterdeath

Originally posted by bicanaries

Originally posted by supercanaries

Originally posted by dcvertigodaily

Originally posted by heckyeahsummerglaugifs

Originally posted by valkylicious

Originally posted by dmichellewrites

And that’s just some of the examples and only the women.

But there’s been a lack of understanding between these two for the past year (A year… Christ, it’s been more than a year) and they need to hack it out but they wouldn’t be able to without a stimulus.

Originally posted by felicityssoliver

Originally posted by beemichelle7

Boom baby!

Now, Felicity TELLING Oliver that he doesn’t trust her was soooooo deeply satisfying, not because I agree with her. I don’t. She’s wrong. But I only know that because I’m the observer.

I loved it because she was finally being honest about how he’s made her feel. And how he’s made her feel isn’t just like she isn’t trusted:

Originally posted by andjustforthismoment

It’s lonely. Alone.

Originally posted by felicitysmoakq

She’s felt like she can’t go to him and ask for the assistance she needed, the help she wanted. The kind of love she deserves. Honestly, I’m pretty sure she didn’t want his help either. Not at this stage. She wanted to rely on herself. To decide for herself. To make the choices he and Dig have always made for her. To be their equal.

What she wanted was for him to say:

“I don’t like it. I don’t want you to do it. You’re asking me to stand back and watch you sell yourself because of a problem I caused. I don’t want it. It’ll hurt too much… but I’m going to. I’m going to because I trust you. You already know I love you. And now I’m going to prove what that actually means to me. I’m going to place all my trust in you because I believe. In. You.

Always.”

Wonderful, right?

But this is from the point of view of a woman who doesn’t fully understand Oliver Queen, through no fault of her own. She’s the closest any woman has ever come to truly knowing him: she DOES know him the best of everyone, even Thea…

And that is something he - subconsciously - can’t allow. He can’t have Felicity - the person he loves the most - close to his darkest demon. Can’t have her touched.

If she’d been ready at the time of their break up, maybe she would have seen something else and NOT a man who simply doesn’t trust her the way she craves to be trusted, the way she’d trusted him and still does trust him. Even after everything.

But she couldn’t help missing that because Oliver is emotionally stunted and very unaware of how his father’s promise and his survivor’s guilt have deepened that chasm inside him.

Oliver is also a man of his word.

Originally posted by andjustforthismoment

“We can protect her.”

He made a promise to himself and Dig and he was vehement in that promise.

It was a declaration of intent: I want her in this but not at the cost of what makes her… her.

Do you think that ever goes away for someone like Oliver? And do you think he ever forgets about that promise? No. It just grows stronger. It was crucial to him; especially right at the beginning of it all.

And for Felicity Smoak it is an absolute - a requisite - STRONGER than his need to protect Thea.

He grew to accept at the end of season 3 - after choosing for her for most of the season - that Thea’s life was her own, that her actions were her own, her body was her own to throw it onto fire if she wanted to.

He’d hate it… but he’d get it.

He can’t do that with Felicity because she’s his cornerstone.

Originally posted by oliverqueennn

Originally posted by nugetae

Originally posted by bazingagubicorn

Originally posted by andjustforthismoment

Originally posted by andjustforthismoment

Even after they broke up, even months later with this distance between them, she’s still the person who balances his world, who gives him structure.

Originally posted by lucyyh

When she first joined the team, she enabled his night work in a way he didn’t think possible and she was as safe as he could make her. Behind her computers. In HIS Foundry. Perfect.

Originally posted by yet-i-remain-quiet

She was where he could keep an eye on her and control how deep into the life she was. In fact she only ever touched close to danger when she was in the field, which was few and far between for this exact reason.

Originally posted by andjustforthismoment

Even when she opted – even when it was her choice – Oliver (and by extension Dig) only agreed when they could control the danger level.

Originally posted by andjustforthismoment

But even then, things can still go wrong.

Originally posted by fponthedl

The problem is that Felicity has always been just as ‘in deep’ as the boys.

But she’s their precious gem: their lucky charm. Their lighthouse, their way home. The heart of the team.

Originally posted by andjustforthismoment

Originally posted by songbin

What happens when a lighthouse goes dark?

Originally posted by sporkageddon

The way home – your eyes – vanishes.

You loose sight of reality.

It was taken for granted, Felicity’s natural light. Her faith. He thought if he left it alone, it was stay exactly as it was…

Originally posted by gothsmoak

The light on Oliver’s path – as pitiful and as small, as narrow and filled with thorns and without forks and choices as that way has become – was, in his head, taken fully away in episode 19. He was left asunder and confused.

Originally posted by olicity-i-believe-in-you

Adrift. Lost at sea…. he’s already lost at sea.

Originally posted by feilcityqueen

He was lost at sea for years until he chose to stay away from Starling (I prefer the name Starling City to Star City btw).

After his return, she became his anchor. Slowly.

Originally posted by bratvaolicity

Overtime.

Originally posted by nugetae

Moment by moment.

Originally posted by thecwarrow

Until she became irreplaceable.

And he didn’t realise just how deep that went… until he broke her heart. Until she left him. Alone.

Originally posted by andjustforthismoment

They’re as alone as each other. Even when they’re with others. Even in a crowd. Even as they reached out to others, romantically or otherwise and it didn’t heal them.

Case in point: look at where they are right now. He thinks he’s a sociopathic serial killer and she’s willing to destroy her life to bring down the man who made him feel that way.

She is doing for Oliver what Oliver did for Thea in season 3.

All she’s asking is for him to let her.

But he can’t.

He promised Dig he’d protect her. Just her. 

Not Laurel or Thea or Sara or anyone else, not even Dig… Felicity was the one whom he’d never have twisted. The one neither of them could or would sacrifice. IRREPLACEABLE.

Most importantly, he can’t have her become him. He’s been protecting her from that since day 1: he can’t fathom its possibility.

Oliver has paid a lot of prices, sacrificed so much of himself. And he’s lost things and people.

Her soul is the one price too high to pay.

Yet Oliver feels like everything he has touched, every person who’s into contact with him, has suffered because of him.

And now? …He feels what’s she doing with helix, how she’s behaving is because of him. A darkness that never comes out created by him. To Oliver, he has created this path of a deepening darkness for the woman he loves. Now he has to put up with what she’s been putting up with for years. And he doesn’t like it.

Drink it is:

Like a husband who’s argued with his wife, had his words royally and correctly thrown back at him and in the dog house. Big time!

What Oliver doesn’t realise is that light can alter over time. It can grow warmer or more distinct. Stronger. Can shift and shine a new way. A better way. A softer way. Some lights can draw weaker ones out and strengthen them.

Has anyone noticed the increased use of both purple and green this year on Arrow? Oliver’s and Felicity’s colours. 

Not a coincidence.

Originally posted by whoeveryoulovethemost

When he sees her for who she really is, when he finds out how her view of him – in walking in his shoes – has changed, has grown, when he discovers that his confession doesn’t have the affect on her he thought it would, when she actually gives him a new and brighter understanding of herself… he’ll see her light for what it is. For the beauty in it. And he’ll love her all the more for it.

I think he’s going to tell her – when their air is ruining out, whilst he’s hurt and she’s defenceless – his painful truth and he’ll be waiting for the worse case scenario reaction from her.

And… I feel like he’s going to be given the shock of his life. Or something to that affect. (Am I just desperate?)

Whatever happens, it’ll make him view her as an equal in every sense of the term – he thought he already did, but there was still that last layer of bubble wrap for him/her to pop.

And in walking in her shoes – in trying to move on, in watching her make the hard choices and being powerless to stop her, in being on the other side of the fence and being the one who doesn’t get listened to – his understanding and already super high regard for her will shoot past the stratosphere.

Like Wendy said:

“She’s been through something now, and she sees him in a different light — and he also sees her in a different light. There’s a lot more mutual understanding, and even though I think it’s hard to top the mutual respect they already have for each other, that goes up as well.”

Won’t be surprised if they leave the bunker shooting each other awed, heart-eyed looks and thinking ‘wow’.

Remember the song?

I am so sorry that I bothered you
Now I know why you have to hide
I didn’t know what you were going through
All I could see was my own sign

I will just fade away
I will let you be here
I won’t say a word until you come to me
Until you come to me
Until you come to me

They just tell me what you’re in there for
How could I know you did not say?
But now I know what I am living for
Tomorrow will be just another day

I will close my eyes
And I hear a quiet peep
I will wait in the shadows until you come to me
Until you come to me
Until you come to me, oh

Ah, sweet youth will all too quickly end
And we will never be this free
So all I ask is that we look again
Before we grow too old to see

I will fall alone
My elm was sweet and envy
Still I will be crying until you come to me
Until you come to me
Until you come to me, ah

Understanding. Readiness. Love. Trust. Heart.

I’ll be waiting for you. Until you come to me.

It’s a mutual thing (though I do think this refers to Felicity more than Oliver).

And then it’ll be almost as easy as falling, his new ideal. I think she’ll give him a new point of view. Or, at the very least, a way to see it differently.

Very soon they’ll be ready for each other. The right fit.

A hero for a hero.

Originally posted by klarolicityswan

She has to open the door but he needs to make her want to first. Strip each other down to the core.

And, come 5.22 (?) he needs step on through it all on his own.

They’re going to fall in sync.

And by 5.23 we’re finally going to breathe that breath of sweet relief.

Originally posted by 6pinky-winky

anonymous asked:

Hi sorry to bother you but at this point do you think Alec's greatest fault is that he doesn't trust his instincts?

i feel like “greatest flaw” is kind of subjective, and also dependent on the situation that he’s in, if that makes sense?

but, regardless, i don’t know if i would say his lack of trust in his instincts is his biggest flaw, but something slightly different, which is better described as an adherence to authority even despite his instincts or better judgment - and by authority, i don’t necessarily mean just, like, the inquisitor or maryse, but rather being generally “lawful” to a fault - even if there’s nobody explicitly giving the orders, even if it comes from his own self and the standards he perceives himself to have to fulfill as he learned growing up in the society he did.

you can see him start to develop out of this in terms of his personal life/relationships/family etc. in season 2, which wasn’t at all the case in s1, leading to the whole wedding storyline for him (as he adhered to the idea of family honour above personal fulfillment even though there was a part of him that knew it wasn’t the right thing to do). so it’s not necessarily any strict authority, but rather an internal code that he has forced himself to follow.

and not only that, but also the more typical sense of the word “authority” which in alec’s case would largely be the clave. like in s1, alec followed the letter of the law without a lot of external pressure such as in 1x09-1x11, genuinely thinking that that was what was best for him and his family and really the shadow world in general – even if it maybe didn’t feel quite right to him on a moral level. but i don’t think it came out of a lack of trust in his own instincts, but more so the high value that he places on values of obedience and adherence to authority, sometimes over his own personal feelings and - at times - moral judgments. like even if he feels that something is morally wrong, e.g. torturing meliorn, he’s more likely than other characters to look to following the rules as the ‘greater good’ that justifies it. but, as we saw with things like his confrontation with aldertree, he seems to be growing out of it. but even so, alec is not (or at least not yet) a “fuck the system” kind of guy - he largely tends to work within the system, like even when he confronted aldertree, he did it when he knew there was a way to officially delegitimize him, rather than the jace/clary style of “fuck you fuck the system im gonna do what i want”. whether that last part is a flaw of alec’s or not is probably pretty subjective though, and depends on the situation. i guess he has a trust and respect for the status quo and letter of the law that in many situations - considering the clave’s moral corruption - might pose a problem.  

THAT BEING SAID, in 2x12, though, i feel like people are putting too much of the onus on alec’s inherent flaws (dont get me wrong there are many), and less on the extremely complex and confusing situation at hand. i don’t really think it was a case of “if alec had followed his gut instead of listening to jace/imogen he could have saved magnus sooner” but it was just a really hard situation, and i’m not sure if he would have, regardless of what jace said to him. regardless of outside influence, alec is more logical and cautious than instinctive or impulsive  - like, in early season 1 before they really knew her, he’s the only person who entertained the fact that clary aka valentine’s daughter could be a spy for valentine (i mean, she wasn’t, but it made sense as a theory, rather than just instinctively trusting her as the others did). that also being said, though, jace isn’t wrong when he says that valentine is a master manipulator, and to alec, the uprising and its associated massacres are very very recent history. valentine has been the shadow world’s symbol for utter moral and social reprehensibility for alec likely throughout his entire life, and that coupled with the fact that he has seen firsthand how easily and cruelly valentine has twisted jace’s mind - his parabatai - and i think that contributes to a caution that would be reasonable in that extremely difficult situation. people don’t get that dramatic irony allows us to perceive what the characters can’t, which means it’s all well and good for us to say that he should have known, but you have to look at it from alec’s point of view. but i digress. 

anonymous asked:

How about a fic about a bellarke kiss where something like bellamy is about to go on a dangerous mission but clarke doesn't want him to go and as he's leaving he promises to come back to her??

For Motivation Reasons

Oups, this turned out I bit cutter that I wanted to… But hey, it worked just fine. Also, s/o to @asavelveteen for beta’ing this little piece of mine.

She’s standing by the back wall with her hands folded against her chest as she watches their friends hugging Bellamy goodbye.

She still hasn’t talked to him since their fight last night. They were yelling back and forth for so long that their voices had been a bit hoarse today. Still, she failed to do the one thing she really needed to. And that is to make sure stays Bellamy stays safe and mostly in one piece.

The thing is, he doesn’t make it easy for her. For the past three months, he made it a hobby to risk his life every other day. And Clarke is constantly fighting him on it.

She comes back from her thoughts by someone clearing their throat in front of her and she lifts her gaze up, meeting his eyes.

“What?” she says, voice controlled, and she lets her hands fall to her sides.

“I’m leaving.” He announces, as if she doesn’t know it already.

“Yeah. I heard something about that last night.” she responds, not hiding her disapproval for his decision.

Bellamy tilts his head to the side, pressing his lips together. “So, I’m heading out on a dangerous mission and you want the last time we talk to be our argument of ‘should I go or should I not’?”

She knows he’s trying to lighten the mood, it’s what he always does when it comes to serious stuff, but this time is different. This time Clarke won’t just roll with it.

“Maybe I want that.” she says, trying to sound mean, but they both know she failed and she doesn’t really mean it. “And if you don’t like it, maybe you should have thought harder before deciding on your own.”

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