I wanted to make another quick clarification post, because I had a couple asks from aces wondering about the use of the word “enthusiastic” to describe consent. Super good question, and I’m sorry I didn’t think to explain this in the other post.
In the context of consent, “enthusiastic” doesn’t necessarily mean jumping up and down for joy (though it might for you!). It more means that the consent was freely and willingly given, not coerced, pressured, or assumed. In other words, if you’re feeling really hesitant but your partner convinces you to go ahead anyway, that ain’t enthusiastic consent. If your partner checks in with you in an appropriate way and you are genuinely interested, want to do the thing, and give your consent without outside pressure, that IS enthusiastic consent, regardless of whether or not you truly feel “enthused” in the traditional sense. It’s a nuance, but an important one.
Technically this isn’t too far off from the dictionary definition of the word:
having or showing intense and eager enjoyment, interest, or approval.
But since the most common usage of the word is to describe someone who is very excited or overjoyed, it’s worth making the distinction.
Hello Ms. Sarah. This might seem like a petty question, but as someone who puts a lot of effort into the content she distributes online and talks candidly about her opinions religious, literary, and otherwise, how do you deal with anon hate or people spreading your posts around with nasty comments? Idk if this has happened to you inasmuch, but I assume it is part of internet discourse. You may very well be one of those who gives no fucks, but if you give any, how do you process them?
I used to have fucks, but a few years ago I made the mistake of poking the monster of the Hannibal fandom, was trashed by a lot of people, bloggers I followed and respected, made it all the way to Fail Fandom Anon…
It was an exciting nausea-inducing time! But as a consequence I have have armor like a goddamn tank when it comes to anonymous or unkind comments on the internet.
In shedding that anxiety, I also lost my tolerance for the kind of emotional work necessary to respect everyone and where they’re coming from in their personal journey. I just don’t have the energy to care about 10,000+ strangers’ opinions, that’s exhausting and impossible, statistically someone is going to disagree or dislike me. Nasty comments on reblogs aren’t arguments or constructive criticism—I haven’t yet had comments like, “the way this character of color is written is thinly-veiled racism!” or “this discussion of Catholicism is great, but lacking nuance RE: abuse survivors!” which would obviously be cause for real concern and evaluation of my opinions and content. Nasty comments and anonymous hate are just that, and my time and energy is too valuable to waste on them.
So I delete messages freely. I block posts. I block notifications. Sometimes just I’ll go away and think about a comment for a while and decide that actually, that’s a good point and I have something to say on the topic. But my policy these days is that I will only respond to that sort of thing if I think my response will be interesting to my followers. Hopefully I’ve said everything I want to say articulating my position, if people disagree that’s why they have a blog.
I also think it’s important to remember that your blog isn’t you. Maybe it’s a beautiful facsimile and you’re very attached to it, but it’s not you. So instead of seeing comments or asks as reflections of you personally, these are people reacting to a single facet, barely a facet, just a shard or fragment of a self that resembles your reflection.
And at the end of the day, that’s not worth any response but boredom.
There’s these users I dislike that whenever they reblog art (or anything really) they always have to add something, and it’s usually fucking useless comments
It can from “I think that it would be better this way” (not as a way to critque the art, just how they would’ve done it) or a simple “Lol”
And everyone reblogs from them, its annoying like shut up and just reblog the art and leave it to the tags or something, I don’t care about what you have to say about this art, I just want to reblog it without the peanut gallery jesus christ
King Felipe and Queen Letizia take a selfie with Mireia Belmonte while posing with the swimmer’s gold and bronze medals, during the reception offered at El Pardo Palace to the Spanish Olympic and Paralympic medallists. Madrid, 28.09.2016.