A/N: Let me first preface this by saying I am not glorifying or trying to romanticize the idea of anxiety issues or panic attacks. This was written because I think it highlights the importance of finding help. Although in this the reader finds help in those around them, in reality, that is a good first step but there are many other ways that help can be found. I personally do not have major anxiety issues but I have experienced a panic attack before. It was most definitely one of the scariest things I have ever experienced and in no way am I trying to belittle it. I can not stress how important it is that you find help if they are reoccuring or getting worse. This is based on my experience with a panic attack and I realize that everyone experiences everything differently. Thank you for reading. Also, this will be the last part unless I get a request for another part. Other than that enjoy and leave feedback please. :)
Nothing had been going right. Plenty of paper-work deadlines were quickly approaching, the kids had been acting out a lot more, and John was more on edge over Tommy’s newest business plan. John and you had also been trying for another child but it had been coming up fruitless for a year or so.
Three months or so ago was when you finally began to feel a sign of being pregnant, morning sickness. You decided against telling John about it seeing as he had been busy and you didn’t want to put his hopes up in any way. Today you had gone to the doctor in fear that something happened to the child, after you started bleeding. You fears had been confirmed by the doctor. Again, you were fruitless, without child. After, pulling yourself together from the crying that took place at the doctors you began to walk home deciding to not tell John.
You strode into the house expecting to find comfort in John. He always kept you grounded. He was your constant. Both of you had issues. You always got too worked up about things and always over-worried and he had his stress induced war nightmares only making your worrying even worse but being able to help him through them helped you. He helped you stay calm and sane and you did the same for him.
Would I be a bother to ask you some tips about astral projecting/ astral travel? Or resources perhaps?
(Based on my UPG)
The “door” method is a pretty simple and popular way of entering the astral.
In this method, go into a meditative state and enter your mind space. Visualize a door that leads to your astral space. It’s important that you specify your astral space or any other location you wish to go to because that’s more effective than just trying to go to the astral at large. A focused point makes it easier to create a connection (SO to @chaosjellt for the tip).
So now that you have the “image” of a door that leads to your astral space in your mind, move towards the door and open it. You can spend time analyzing it before going in, like the wood texture and other details, if something like that would help you with visualizing the door.
Once you open the door, just start walking into it until you reach the astral. But how do you know when you get there? For me, I usually feel an energy shift. I can only describe the change in that it feels like walking into someone’s house for the first time, a bout of unfamiliarity. It may feel different for you or you might not feel a change at all.
One thing that you can do to test if it’s the astral or just your imagination is to try manifesting a smooth, blue rock in front of you. (The kind of rock doesn’t matter, just the more specific you are the easier it is to make imo). If it is your imagination then the rock would come immediately and with ease. In the astral, you’ll have to input some energy before it appears even if you’re in your astral space. (This may not work for everyone cause some people have an easier time manifesting things than others. Also SO to @swimminginscales for the tip).
Another way that you can tell if it’s the astral is that if the places you visit change over time. Grass grows, people come and go, night turns to day, etc. within your imagination, those things will stay static unless you consciously change them. However, in the astral things will happen and change even if you’re not there. You can test this by planting two sunflowers when in your astral space. Once again the kind of plant doesn’t matter, just have a specific one in mind. Water one of the plants but not the other. When you return to the astral on another day, see if there is a change, as in one is alive and the other is dead. It might take a few trips before the change is visible depending on how time moves in your astral space. Just like the other method, this one isn’t foolproof and there might be cases where you don’t see a change for whatever reason.
Now here’s just some random tips:
Not everyone sees the astral in first person, a lot of people experience it in third person.
The form that the astral appears as is different for everyone. Some people see it as if it were real life, others see it as if it were like anime or semi-realistic art, some even see it as abstract shapes! It all just depends on how our brains processes what we’re experiencing. In addition, rarely will the astral ever appear as crystal-clear.
Protections are suuuper important. Ward up your astral space and yourself.
If you have them, it’s best to locate your guides and guardians before venturing too much. There’s some guides meditations that you can do, check YouTube, to help meet them. Or you could see if there’s someone who can connect you with you’re guide/guardian through readings. If you have companions, they might also be able to help you with astral though remember that they’re not obligated to.
On that note, stick to places you know when you’re first beginning. Your astral space and your companion’s homes are good places to hang out in to gain astral experience. Wait till you’re a little more seasoned before going ballz deep into unknown locations. And remember, you don’t have to go exploring if you don’t want to. A lot of people are content with just chilling at their homes.
Learn how to fight. Even if you don’t want to adventure it’s still hella useful. @phionesdreams has an awesome meditation for finding your astral weapon and shield. Getting a teacher to help you learn is also good. Once again, companions and guardians could fill that role but a human friend might be able to help too. You can also learn by trying to mimic moves and attacks that you see in tv or video games. Also, learning how to fight in real life can help translate those moves into the astral. For example, I use my boxing moves in the astral for any hand-to-hand combat that I’m in.
Learn how to teleport. Makes shit so much easier. I do so by manifesting a portal while having the location that I want to go to in mind. Then I just step through. Other people simply think about and focus on the place that they want to go and poof there.
That’s all I can think of right now. Check out @spiritvexer and @ sophieriel speaks for a lot of beginner info on astral, especially for protections. Hope this helped. 😘
“I am not famous, or rather, I don’t really want to be famous in the way American media defines a “celebrity” as someone so untouchable that you can’t even “earn” his or her attention—as if that would be moral by anyone’s standards. I just want to make music. I just want to be myself.”
If the MCL boys actually had different body types, what do you think they'd look like (over ab central)? How do you think they'd change in the future, if at all? (IE: More muscular, gained weight, be lanky, etc.)
Castiel: Castiel wouldn’t as strong abs as he does in the game. He lives alone, probably eats a lot of junk food. Though he does run and exercise and is lstill muscular, his abs won’t be of steel. But he’ll still be in shape as he grows up.
Nathaniel: Nath’s frustration goes into sports. So his abs will still be perfect :) He’d keep this passion as he grows up, even though his six pack would probably melt a bit/
Lysander: Lysander would be skinny and, since he’s not very athletic, abs would be gone but he’ll still look hot af tho. His appearance won’t be very affected by his age. His body structure has practically been the same since he’s a kid.
Armin: How did Armin get those abs in the first place seriously. Armin would be relatively thin and 6 pack would be nonexistent. Maybe even a little chubby? He’d gain some wait as he grows up, but will force himself to exercise ( maybe twice a week ) so he won’t ever go overboard.
Kentin: Kentin’s abs would be the same. The guy killed himself at that camp, let him enjoy it. Plus, physical activity will always be 100% part of his priorities and he’ll grow up a hot grandpa!
I'm 17 and want to be sterilized eventually but I don't know when. I've decided I definitely do not want children and I don't plan on becoming sexually active untill I'm married. I don't see why I should remain fertile if I have no intention of having children. I've decided if later I regret sterilization: Fuck it. I'll get over it. Should I wait until I'm referred to a gyno for mammograms then discuss it with them?
I fully believe that when you’re sure of something, there’s little to be gained in waiting.
You don’t need me to warn you that you might face an uphill struggle - but at the end of the day, the longer your medical records indicate that you’ve been requesting a sterilization, the stronger your case becomes.
When you get your chance to bring this up, state your intentions calmly and clearly. You’ll almost certainly be told ‘no’, but don’t let it dishearten you. Tell them you expected as such, but all the same, you’d like to be given information about procedures and you’d like it noted in your records.
Also, kudos for your approach to regret! I’m starting to believe that our fear of regret is a hundred times worse than the actual thing.
“But what if you REGRET?!” is presented as such a huge terrifying prospect, when really, the answer is simple. We’d do what all humans do when they regret.
We’d get over it.
We’re a very adaptable species. We’d maybe mope for a while, then discover some marvellous new novelty and chase that instead.
Life’s made up of choices. Everyone has to take them.
We shouldn’t teach our young adults to doubt themselves, or it makes the job a lot harder.
Good luck on your journey, Anonymous. Stick to your guns, keep telling them you’re certain, and some day, someone will believe you.
“Hey Ko, do you have any money on you?” Akane asked, licking powdered sugar off of her fingers.
“You want more food? That was your third pastry just now.”
“I can’t help it. These things are like heaven to me.”
“Alright.” He rolled his eyes. “Come on.”
Kogami and Akane went to the vending machine. When he put money in, he got really close to her.
“You’ve noticed the rookie following us all day, right?” He whispered.
“Yeah.” She nodded.
“Well, are you planning on telling her anything anytime soon?”
“Nope.” She smirked, pressing the buttons to her desired snack choice.
“And why not?”
“I think it will be interesting to watch her put two and two together.”
“Don’t you mean you and me?” He chuckled.
“Admit it, you’re having fun with this too.”
“Maybe just a little.” He said, pulling her close and kissing her neck.
“Oh, so we’re playing that game?” She smirked and leaned back.
Mika thought that she was concealed by hiding around the corner of the break room’s wall. She watched everything with wide eyes. Inspector Tsunemori and Enforcer Kogami were obviously sleeping together in secret!
It was only 1:15. Their shift didn’t end until 7:00. It was quiet for the most part, so Division One were all doing their own thing in the office.
Kagari was playing his game again, and Mika was pretending to be reading her computer screen while she watched Kogami and her senior colleague.
Akane and Kogami were at Akane’s desk reading something. It was obvious that Kogami was bored with it, but Akane wouldn’t keep her eyes off of the screen.
“Look. Are you going to keep on looking up these stupid articles?” The enforcer asked, keeping his voice low to keep their conversation between the two of them.
“No. It’s important to know as much information as possible.” Akane said, tapping over to the next screen.
“Couldn’t we go do something more… Interesting?” Kogami smirked, casually brushing his hand against her arm.
“This says that it’s possible to be pregnant for over a year.” The inspector said, ignoring his advances.
Kogami rolled his eyes and leaned back in his chair. “That’s nice, Akane. Because your tiny body can so take being pregnant for a year.” He said sarcastically.
“Well, it’s happened before.” Akane hissed. “Don’t get sassy with me.”
“That’s it.” The enforcer said, grabbing her arm. “We’ll be back, guys.”
“Have fun~” Kagari chuckled.
“Where are you going?” Mika asked, standing up fast.
“To have a private meeting.”
The door shut, leaving Mika staring after them, dumbfounded that Inspector Tsunemori would allow a dog to drag her around like that.
“Get used to that.” Kagari said from his desk. “They tend to do that a lot.”
“W-what?! And it’s just allowed?”
“Well, no one else really has a problem with it as long as they get the job done. Even enforcers need a break once in a while.”
“Criminals don’t deserve anything.” Mika snapped at him and stomped out.
“Where are we going?”
“To go talk to Karanomori so you can stop looking at those damn articles.” Kogami answered as he pulled her down the hallway.
Akane pulled her arm away and stared up at him in horror. “No.”
“Come on. She knows a thing or two about it. It’s not like she’s going to ask to give you a vaginal exam again.”
“Shinya!” Akane hissed. “We agreed that we wouldn’t talk about that.”
“You said you wouldn’t. I just laughed my ass off.” He shrugged.
Akane glared at her lover as they made their way to Karanomori’s lab.
Meanwhile, Mika was sneaking around the PSB. She listened outside of all of the closets and bathrooms as she passed by them.
She finally gave up when she reached the first floor janitors closet. She got on the elevator and hit the button to get back on the CID’s floor, but to her surprise, the doors opened on to the floor that the enforcers lived on.
Why didn’t she think of looking here in the first place? That dog was an enforcer, after all, so he obviously lived in the Bureau.
She went to each door and listened closely for the sound of the duo’s indecent acts.
One of the doors opened as she approached. It was Kunizuka that emerged.
The enforcer looked down at the rookie that was crouched in front of her door.
“Can I help you?”
“Oh! I’m just… No ma'am.” Mika shook her head, her cheeks red with embarrassment.
“Are you looking for anything?”
“I’m just trying to get back to my office. You’re Enforcer Kunizuka, right?”
“I don’t know if you remember me, but I’m the student you comforted during the Oryo Rikko case.” Mika said, lowering her head. “Thank you so much for that.”
“What office are you looking for?”
“Division One with Inspector Ginoza and Inspector Tsunemori.” Mika answered, disappointed that the woman seemed to not remember her.
“That’s my division. I need to pick something up, so I’ll show you the way back.”
“Thank you so much!”
“So, Shinya says that you have some questions for me.” Shion smirked as she sat across from Akane.
Kogami was kicked out of the room after Akane snapped at him for making fun of her small hips’ capabilities of being able to carry a baby for a whole year.
“I don’t really have questions, but I’m just curious about all of the things that will be happening over the next few months is all.” The inspector explained. “He just wants me to talk to you because I’ve been reading a lot of articles about pregnancy lately.”
“That’s a bad idea in itself.” Shion snorted. “Things like that will make you worry unnecessarily throughout your pregnancy. You should enjoy your last moments of quiet while you can. Once you can’t bend down to pick something up, that’s the end of it. You won’t want to go anywhere, you will need help standing up most of the time, and most importantly you will not want to have sex at all.”
Akane looked down at her lap, her face becoming red. “That’s not a big deal. It’s not like we have sex every day or anything.”
“Akane, you know that my walls are very thin, right?”
Akane looked up at the lab analyst in horror, causing laughter to bubble out of the blonde’s mouth.
“I’m just going to go, now.”
“Okay, okay. I’ll be serious, now.” Shion said, gesturing for her to stay seated.
“So, first thing is first. How many weeks along are you, officially?”
“Oh? It feels like it’s been longer.”
“That’s probably because I came out and told Inspector Ginoza and Chief Kasei as soon as I knew…”
“That was an interesting New Years party.” Shion laughed. “I thought Inspector Ginoza was going to kill Shinya for sure.”
“Karanomori.” Akane snapped.
“Oh! Right.” The blonde laughed. “So. The things you need to know about your pregnancy…”
“So she kicked you out?” Kagari started laughing.
“She’s slowly driving me insane.” Kogami groaned. “As if reading these stupid articles wasn’t enough, she wakes me up in the middle of the night to talk to me about sudden epiphanies or tell me some random ass story about something that happened to other women while they were pregnant.”
“Well, what do you expect? It’s the first time she has ever gone through this.”
“You know what? What about my feelings?!” Kogami snapped. “I’m going through it with her!”
“Did… Did you just have a mood swing?” Kagari asked, staring at his fellow enforcer incredulously.
“N-no!” Kogami protested. “Guys don’t have mood swings, you ass!”
“Dude, I’ve heard of this before.” Kagari smirked. “You’re being sympathetic with Akane, aren’t you?”
“Yes you are!” Kagari laughed. “I wondered why you gained a little weight.”
“I haven’t gained wait, and I’m not being sympathetic with Inspector Tsunemori! Quit assuming things!”
“Okay, if you say so.” Kagari snickered.
“So… Do you think Inspector Rookie has caught on to everything yet?”
“She’s been following us everywhere. I think she just thinks we’re sleeping together.”
“So are you two planning on telling her anything?”
“Hell no.” Kogami chuckled. “This is the most fun I’ve had since the rooster incident.”
“Gino didn’t stand a chance against that bird.”
“How Inspector Takata managed to switch the bird with his dog is what I’m still trying to figure out.”
“He thought he was hallucinating after we set it loose in the bathroom. I think that was my favorite.”
“That was pretty great.” Kogami chuckled.
“Nobuchicken will never be lived down.”
“Neither will Snoopy the rookie when we’re done with her.”
A/N: First, thanks to those who are
actually hanging in there! I got a lot of similar comments, so just
wanted to address a few:
- I am not punishing Rick and
Michonne for the affair. I did this AU because, given all they suffered
and continue to suffer in canon, I wondered how that would come about/translate
in an AU if there was no ZA. And this fic is a drama, so I have to
deliver. Well, my Muse, anyway. I just write what my taskmaster
tells me :p I only have had loose ideas, then just see where these
characters take me. It’s been a ride.
- Beth is not a teenager in this fic
(and the actress is in her mid-twenties). I gave shot outs to Bethyl’s
and Caryler’s in this fic, but didn’t dwell on either. I had her in place
for a reason.
- Jumping from Lori’s car wreck to
her being in surgery–remember, it’s been hours since that event.
Shane will explain about Lori shortly.
- I can’t really speak to other Richonne fics, as I’ve only read a few. But I know there is a troubling trend in them, given the comments…I can’t spoil my own shit, you guys, but all I can say is, trust me to do right by these two. I love them just as much as y’all ;)
I fall to pieces, I’m falling
Fell to pieces and I’m still falling…
All the years I’ve tried
With more to go
Will the memories die?
Will I find you?
Can I find you?
We’re falling down;
As much as I would love to solve it right away I think we need to wait a little longer to gain some more insight and clues even at the risk of more people dying. So far just about anyone and everyone except the dead are fair game. (unless they aren’t really dead)
“Nothing is true, everything is permitted.” and “Good hunting.”
With prom coming up, as juniors being able to go for the first time, that’s all any of your classmates have been able to talk about, which is why you’re not really surprised when your best friend, Luke, brings up prom, casually asking what your ideal “promprosal” would be. You tell him, not really thinking much of his question. The last thing you expected to happen was to walk out of your last class of the day and hear the sound of a guitar playing your favorite song and Ashton, Calum, and Michael walking up to you to each hand you a singular rose before stepping aside to reveal Luke being the one playing your favorite song on the guitar. By the time he’s finished, you’re completely wide-eyed (and maybe even a little teary-eyed) and you two have gained an audience, anxiously waiting for your response to Luke asking you to prom. And after him surprising you by serenading you with your favorite song, you know there’s only one answer he’s going to get.