and full of sighs

anonymous asked:

Can I get a scenario with America of he and his s/o are at fair or a festival and his s/o leaves to get them food, but when they come back they just see him on one of those kiddie train things with a bunch of other little kids, having way too much fun playing with them, and it's so fucking adorable to his s/o?

Of course! I adore this! Sorry it took so long! -Admin Jay

They left him alone for a minute…maybe not even a full minute…and he was gone…they should’ve known better than to leave Alfred unattended at a fair. He always got distracted by bright lights and sounds, and the fair was full of so many. They looked around and sighed, where to even start?
They called out for him as they looked around, but as they started to walk past the kiddie train they heard a very familiar laugh.
They looked up and shook their head as they smiled, of course Alfred found kids to have fun with. They watched the little train go around the track as Alfred was half hanging out of the conductor’s part and laughing with all the kids as they went around the tracks. They watched how he would play and talk with the kids so each one went back to their parent with a big smile on their face. Alfred had a way with kids, they loved him so much. Every kid loved to be near Alfred since he would squat down to talk to all of them, would pick them up on his shoulders and spin around with them and especially would make sure they felt proud and happy with who they were. His s/o watched him for awhile before walking over to him with a smile as they kissed his cheek.
“You’re a natural with kids.”
“It’s because I am a kid…kinda. I just hate being serious like an adult. It’s no fun.”
“I love you, you dork.”
“Heck yea! Love you too! Now it’s your turn!”
Alfred smiled at them before lifting up his s/o and putting them on his shoulders as he laughed and started to run around as the kids chased them and giggled. It was just another day with Alfred F. Jones. 


Yes, half of keith nightmares are Lance’s fault and yes, again, he didn’t paid attention to Lance during the mind bonding exercise, so his sleepy mind had supplied with his own version of Lance’s siblings (which consist in 4Lance + (4Lance+wigs)).

(This all started because I was relaxing sketching Lance family, I love their design, and boh. This happened.) 

2032. “lets playing” is a major in several reputable universities across the country. markiplier is the head of the lets playing department at Yale. a student walks into his office. “sir,” she says, “a boy in my intro to battletoads class was making antisemitic comments towards me.” 

“and you’re telling on him?” he questions in his way too charismatic voice. 

“um,” she says, “yes?” 

“well” he says. he positions a camera light onto his face and presses record on his very expensive camera. “i really just think you’re showing a lack of respect by trying to bring down this man who did nothing but–”

meanwhile, in an apartment in SoHo, the beat letsplayer movement is in full swing. cassandra, a cigarette dangling from her lips, sighs. “my mom still thinks i’m insane for leaving NYU”

“she’s insane,” says donovan, “the letsplayer major there is total corporate bullfuckery. they only care about the numbers, man, and defending each other’s near impossible to escape racist jokes (why is that so prevalent wtf), not doing new and interesting things with video games.”

“whatever,” she says, “once my series where i play fallout new vegas while suspended 30 feet in the air on a trapeze drops, then i’ll break it into the mainstream. then she’ll see.”

they make love, both secretly pretending the other is nick robinson


#can we talk about how his hand covers her whole neck and starts weaving into her hair #or how her mouth falls open when she pulls away like she’s reaching for more #let’s talk about his full body sigh at the end like he’s wanted this for longer than any of us can imagine #and how his thumb strokes across her cheek not once but twice #let’s finally talk about how this kiss is intimate enough for not only six episodes of developement #but a whole lifetime of it


[as requested] the full scene of Betty & Jughead’s declaration of love. *happy sigh~* 

just wanted to appreciate the tenderness and beauty of this entire scene… first he only takes off his jacket….but when he hears that she’s still not giving up on his dad despite everything….he decides to take off his hat while staring at her back….leaving him at his most vulnerable…knowing that it’s the right time and that he’s ready to bare it all and confess his true feelings for her….which he did so casually at first to gauge her reaction…and then when she turned around….he repeats that “I love you” with such tenderness and sincerity… not even blinking nor breaking off his eye contact…but with a hint of anticipation and fear for her response as she approaches him…..and hearing her say “I love you”… he gives that soft heartbreaking smile like he couldn’t believe that she actually loves him back…..cos probably all his life he’s been so disappointed and dejected by the people that he loves that he’s accepted that he won’t receive back the love that he’s been yearning for…. :’( until now… which he has finally found a reciprocal love with Betty Cooper. His equal. His happiness. His soulmate. <3

isak saw even in the cafeteria a year ago and i got a little emo thinking about that so i wrote a lil (messy) thing

it’s october 3rd 2015 and isak just got back from a cabin trip with his two best friends (his only friends). he had started to suspect deep down that it might had been a pity invite - why would they pass on the opportunity to spend all this time away by themselves? but he hadn’t really let himself dwell on that too much, because he had really, really wanted to get away as well

spending time at the cabin had been nice. jonas is a good friend. he’s the coolest person isak knows. he’s awesome and isak really likes him (he likes him too much). jonas and eva had seemed to struggle as a couple during the trip, and this whole situation shouldn’t confuse him so much. it should be so incredibly obvious that what he wants is for his best friends to be happy, and it should be a wonderful thing for them to be happy together. it should be. and yet it’s just not 

isak’s least favorite part of the trip had been this guy elias tagging along. he doesn’t understand why jonas seems eager to spend time with him, and isak doesn’t want to be friend with elias, elias who’s the biggest idiot for thinking that isak is gay. (what was that about? why would he say something like this? and isak doesn’t only know gay songs, does he?) 

he stops for a minute before taking the last three steps that lead to the front door of his house. he closes his eyes and takes a deep breath, hopes his parents won’t notice him coming in, that he’ll be able to go straight to his room and just stay there for a while. one minute turns into two, and then three, but eventually he reaches the door, and he’s back to reality

it’s pretty late in the evening when isak hears the sound of voices getting increasingly louder downstairs, and he shoves his earphones in his ears a little too hard. he texts jonas and eva, thanks them for the trip, tells them he loves them because he does. he teases them by sending this aladdin meme, and he’s just totally detached (he is). they seem to find it funny, and apparently they’re doing fine now. sometimes it feels like they’re the only two people he really has. and he should only be happy that they seem to be doing better. he honestly wishes he was 

it’s october 3rd 2016 and the boys start talking about the girls they hooked up with at the party pretty much the second they all sit down at the cafeteria table. isak had insinuated that he had gotten a blowjob in their group chat and the boys ask him about that. he just briefly tells them it had been great. except it hadn’t been, except it hadn’t even happened at all. and it had been his fault because this gorgeous girl had seemed so into him and he had been so fucking lucky but he just hadn’t been able to do it. and to answer mahdi’s question, maybe there isn’t even one girl, after all, but isak doesn’t want to think about that. he picks the raisins out of his bun instead

as he does, he hears someone laughing from across the cafeteria, and his eyes are quick to find the source of that laugh. and he sees this boy with a smile that illuminates his whole face, with a denim jacket and his feet up on the table. and he looks -

he looks cool and he also looks - 

he also looks good, and isak forgets that he’s not supposed to stare at people, to stare at guys, doesn’t even realize that he’s been staring until this guys’ eyes meet his own. he looks back down, curses himself momentarily 

and then his father texts him about wanting to have diner with him but isak really doesn’t care about his father and even less about having diner with him. all he wants from him is money so he can pay eskild his part of the rent. eva shows up shortly after, and he tries to make up an excuse to go get the weed he left at her place, but it doesn’t really work. they’re not exactly friends anymore, these two. not since - well, not since 

the rest of the day, isak tries not to think too much about all the things he could possibly think about. he tries to distract himself until it’s time to try to sleep. it’s just the usual, really 

it’s october 3rd 2017 and isak is gradually woken up by kisses on his shoulder and fingertips traveling up and down his chest. he smiles and only opens his eyes seconds later, turns around and finds even smiling back at him 

they shouldn’t be craving each other so much after almost a year of being together, but it’s hard to keep their mouths and hands off of each other. even’s feet are slightly cold against his calves but the rest of him is so, so warm 

“it’s october 3rd,” even says, as isak strokes a strand of his hair off his forehead

isak huffs out a laugh. “are you just, like, stating today’s date or is that a mean girls reference?” 

even raises an eyebrow and isak explains that he has indeed seen mean girls, years ago with eva, and last month again with eva and jonas, when they hung out at her place 

“it’s been a year since i got to look into your eyes,” even whispers, and isak’s fingers go still against his scalp. “for like half a second,” he then adds, chuckling quietly, and isak does as well, but he also finds himself unable to ignore the fluttery feeling in his belly. it’s hard to believe that it’s only been a year since he first saw him when it’s so easy to feel like he’s known him forever

even leans in and captures his lips, kisses him slow and soft. they then look into each other’s eyes for a while, foreheads pressed against each other 

“i’m glad i get to look into them longer now” 

“me too” 

isak has to leave earlier than even to go to school. he stops for a minute before taking the last three steps that lead to the door of their home, just to listen to even humming a song as he gets his own things ready for the day. isak smiles to himself 

he has biology class with sana this morning, and then he’s having lunch with the boys, and he’s probably going to hang out with them after school as well. and then even and him will be together again at home. it’s just the usual, really. but it’s also the best 

it’s going to be a good day 

Whipped Cream (Jungkook smut)

Originally posted by nnochu

Description: Jungkook is your roommate. Among other things, his habit for baking shirtless made it… ‘difficult’ to live with him.

Themes: Smut, baker, collage, roommate au

This fic contains: Smut, adult content, food play, arguing, drinking, mentions of threesomes, swearing

Characters: Jungkook x You, Yoongi, Jimin, Hoseok and Taehyung

words: 7.5k

For this fic I used inspirations of food play and the roommate au from two anons <3

A/N: I refused to come back from my hiatus until I had something for my lovely and patient followers <3 (also, I was keen to come back so i’ll edit this and fix mistakes later)

@chanyeolingss, @jn-jngkk, @sugaspen <3

It wasn’t necessarily the pile of dishes or the trail of clothes that seemed to almost constantly hover around Jungkook like he was some annoying ass Avatar or something that got you so mad. It wasn’t the thick fragrance of his cologne or body wash that drifted through the open plan of your shared apartment every morning, or the smell of his musky sweat when he returned home from his evening jog, or from when he emerges from his room- having clearly just having a ‘fucking mind blowing’ wank. It wasn’t the soft melodies, or exciting electronic beats that flooded from his open window and into yours, nor his big and copious amounts of jackets and coats that made it nearly impossible to get your own fucking clothes from the rack next to the front door. Your frequent burning irritation had nothing to do with his presence, with the evidence of his existence in your apartment and life; it was with the man behind it all. It was with him. With fucking Jeon Jungkook. Ok, and maybe it was also for his fucking annoying baking habits. Did he really need to bring that shit home? Didn’t he get sick of it at work?

Keep reading

the rough times of the day


Another wave on sickness rushed through Bendy as the last bit of his last meal was again rejected by his body now laying in the bucket before him which he was gripping for dear life. Tears where starting to collect them self’s at the edges on his eyes and the bitter sting left behind by the thick black liquid dripping down his chin made him want to throw up again but there was nothing to throw out anymore.

“come on Bendy big breaths” his brother said in a soft voice, gently petting his back to help him through the pulsing pain wreaking his body.

Bendy gripped the bucket a bit tighter feeling something all too familiar slowly crawl its way into his senses sticking his nerves with a fear of what’s about to come next

“oh no”

Boris pulled his hand back a little so it was hovering above Bendy’s back but not touching him.


A scream ripped itself from Bendy’s throat, a hot shot of crippling pain wreaking through his abandon as if his body was rejecting its own stomach. His arms shot out to his lower body gripping into his own skin so tight that if he wasn’t crippling under the pressure of his disease slowly destroying his body, he would have feared he tear open his skin.

Bendy was vaguely aware of the bucket tipping over and falling out of his lap, spilling the black stuff everywhere and leaving behind an gut wrenching sour smell.


Boris quickly placed his hand back on Bendy’s lower back and let the other find its way to the others knee, little tear welled up in his eyes, not being able to bear looking at his brother in so much pain.

“n-no Bendy don’t say that be strong oke, you’ll be oke.. j-just hold on”

Another scream was forced out Bendy, still gripping into his stomach, the red hot pain ripping both his mind and will apart like it was a piece of paper.


Bendy sobbed, it was too much to handle. The heat it was too much he was losing his damn mind, He couldn’t he just couldn’t.


A pair of arms wrapped themselves around Bendy’s shoulders, pulling him quickly but gently against Boris chest that was shacking from the sobs and hiccups going through him.

“please it’ll be oke brother just don’t lose hope please”

Boris held Bendy closer to himself like his was trying to squeeze away the illness that was wreaking his brother. 

Bendy breathing picked up some more, swallowing big gulps of air like he never had taken a breath in his life. trying to shut it out the feeling of his nerves burning and screaming out in bloody murder. Trying to push through and passed the crippling hot pain and the feeling his lungs where getting skinned alive.

If not for himself he was trying for somebody who still needed him, the person he cared about most in the world, “for Boris” he told himself .

Slowly ever so slowly relaxed even if it was just a tiny bit, the pain died down enough for him to regular his breathing and lean against Boris, too exhausted  to move.   

“it’s oke”

Boris squeezed Bendy a little closer to him, tears now freely going down his face.

“it’ll always be oke, I know you’re strong enough Bendy”

A little smile showed itself on Bendy’s lips when Boris started wiggling his tail happily, glad that his brother was more or less oke now.

“I’m not strong” Bendy said with a weak voice that was still tuckered out from all that screaming. “you’re the only reason I keep fighting Boris” he said with a soft sigh, now relaxing fulling against the other, leaning his head against Boris chest.


i tried 

you probaly get a fuck ton of these already but meh i thought you might like this one

(sorry i’m a shitty writer)

anyhow this is based on that little comic when bendy was pretty much dying but not quite

welp here you go have fun with it 

fic by idk-likesomeone

  • response:

thank you for this awesome fic! 

actually I didn’t get any fanfic about this AU; you’re the first bruh!

I added a little art if you don’t mind ^^

“Why did you give him those books?” Dean grumbles.

Sam doesn’t look up from the groceries he’s putting into the bunker’s cupboards. “You told me to give him something to read besides lore. You told me to introduce him to the ‘real world.’”

“Harry Potter isn’t the real world!”

Sam raises an eyebrow. “It’s not uncommon for people to introduce themselves, ‘Hi, I’m Sam, and I’m a Ravenclaw.’”

Dean snorts. “Please. You’re a total Slytherin.” Sam laughs, and Dean rolls his eyes. “Okay, I see your point. But my point is, he’s barely left his room for weeks.”

“So?” says Sam. “He’s enjoying the books.”

“I just…” Dean trails off.

Sam’s laughter fills the room. “You just miss your boyfriend!”

Dean blushes and storms out of the kitchen, Sam’s laughter following him down the hallway.

“Dean.” Cas’s voice is rough and raw. He stands in Dean’s doorway, a battered copy of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows clutched to his chest.

Dean, sprawled on his bed, looks up at Cas with a sympathetic smile. “Did you finally finish then? It’s hard to finish a series and realize there’s no more to–” He stops when he sees Cas shaking his head, a single tear trailing down his cheek.

“What is it, Cas?” Dean is there, kissing Cas’s forehead and wiping away the tear.

“It’s…Dobby. He–” Cas’s voice breaks. “He loved Harry so much. He saved him again and again. His loyalty never faltered. And…” Another tear drops from Cas’s eye. “And he died.”

Dean pulls Cas to his chest. “Oh Cas,” he murmurs into Cas’s hair. Cas buries his face in Dean’s neck.

“It’s only a story.” Cas breathes a shuddering breath.

Tightening his hold on Cas, Dean says, “No. I know. I know.”

After a few minutes Dean pulls Cas to the bed. They sit, propped against the headboard. “Let me read to you for awhile,” Dean says, gently taking the book from Cas’s strained fingers.

“Are you sure?” Cas asks, his eyes hopeful.

Dean kisses his temple. “Just close your eyes and listen.”

Cas obeys, relaxing into the pillows.

“Chapter Twenty-Four,” Dean reads. “The Wandmaker. It was like sinking into an old nightmare…”

“…scar had not pained Harry for nineteen years. All was well.”

As Dean closes the book he sees tears in Cas’s eyes again, but a smile plays around his lips. “Okay?” Dean asks.

“Okay,” Cas says. “Thank you for reading to me, Dean. I love the sound of your voice. I didn’t expect you to finish the whole book.”

“Well, there’s a lull on. Sam hasn’t found us a case in more than two weeks. What else was I going to do? Besides,” he adds, blushing, “I haven’t seen you much lately. I’ve missed you. These past few days, reading to you…”

Cas laces their fingers together. “I know.”

Cas stands on a chair, nailing a sprig of mistletoe above the doorway. Sam and Dean sit on the couch, watching.

“Remind me to stay away from that doorway,” Sam says, bemused.

“Good idea,” Cas says. “The mistletoe’s probably infested with nargles.”

Sam snorts. Dean rolls his eyes.

Cas hasn’t let go of his Harry Potter obsession; if anything it’s gotten worse. He bought himself a wand and has been talking about taking a trip to Florida to visit the Wizarding World of Harry Potter. He’s taken countless quizzes to determine his Hogwarts house and is increasingly frustrated when he gets different answers every time. (His family is divided too: Dean thinks he’s a Gryffindor and Sam thinks he’s a Hufflepuff. Cas himself can’t make up his mind.) He put a sign on his door that says Waiting for my letter from Hogwarts. And for Christmas he insisted on a tree decorated with tiny golden snitches–he spent a week at the big wooden table, glitter and feathers and glue everywhere, painstakingly making them all by hand. Dean had teased him about it, of course, but secretly he’d loved seeing Cas with golden glints in his hair.

“The tree does look amazing,” Sam says. “It might be the best one we’ve ever had.”

Dean chokes back a laugh. “Sam, you could throw snowballs at a tree and paint a devil’s trap underneath it and it would be the best one we’ve ever had. The bar is set pretty low.” He gets off the couch, walking over to stand with Cas below the mistletoe. They kiss softly to Sam’s halfhearted, “Get a room…” and then Dean murmurs in Cas’s ear, “It really is a beautiful tree.”

Cas smiles.

Christmas morning Cas bounces on the bed and yells, “Presents!”

Dean groans. “Seriously, Cas? Neither one of us has had any coffee yet…”

Cas kisses Dean on the forehead. “I’ll go make some. Come on, Dean, I’ve never had a real Christmas before. Get out of bed!”

Half rolling, half falling out of bed, Dean can’t help but smile.

He pulls on his robe and follows the smell of coffee to the kitchen. Cas is there, awake and grinning, bouncing on the balls of his feet. Sam is there too, looking surly.

“Merry Christmas, Sam. What’s with the face?” Dean pours himself a cup of coffee, then sits next to Sam.

Sam slumps against the table, his head resting on his forearms. “Cas banging on my bedroom door at seven in the morning shouting ‘Happy Christmas, Sam! Presents!’ is what’s with the face.”

Dean chuckles. “He woke me up by bouncing on the bed, but then he kissed me to make it better. Would that help?” He leans toward Sam, making loud kissing noises. Sam pushes him away, growling, “knock it off!” Dean laughs.

When Dean looks up at Cas, he’s taken aback by the look on Cas’s face. His eyes are wide, and wet with tears.

“What is it, Cas?” he asks, getting to his feet.

After a minute Cas says, “It’s just…it’s good to have a family.” Dean pulls Cas into a tight hug, and when he’s done Sam hugs him too.

Finished with their hugs and coffee, they sit around the tree. Cas passes out presents, and they spend a good twenty minutes tearing paper and exclaiming over gifts. There’s music and books and clothes and a pie (Cas knows the way to Dean’s heart). Sam gives Cas a jar of honey he bought at a farmer’s market on a hunt in Texas. Dean gives Sam a 3 dvd set of sign language lessons. Sam blushes and ducks his head.

Sam gathers his gifts. “Thanks guys,” he says. “I’m just gonna go put this stuff in my room.”

Cas starts to get up but Dean grabs his hand. “I have one more present for you,” he says.

Cas raises an eyebrow. “Sam might come back…” he says suggestively, moving to sit on Dean’s lap.

Dean laughs, pushing him away. “Not that. Well, not now anyway.”

He hands Cas a small, lumpy package. “It’s just silly,” he says, looking away.

Cas carefully unwraps the gift (even when he’s excited, he’s not one to tear wantonly at wrapping paper). “Thank you, Dean,” he says softly. “They’re not silly at all. They’re perfect.” He immediately takes off his slippers and his socks.

“You’re going to wear them now?” Dean asks, laughing.

“Of course!”

He pulls on one sock (red, with tiny golden stars) and then the other (black, with a great green dragon on the foot and a tail wrapping around the ankle). He puts his legs out, pointing his toes, to admire his new socks. “Dobby would’ve loved these,” Cas says with a sad smile.

Dean puts his arm around Cas, leaning over until the sides of their heads just touch. “Happy Christmas, Cas.”

They sit for a moment in the quiet glow of the Christmas tree, and then Cas jumps up. “I have to go show Sam!” he yells. He gives Dean a quick kiss and then he’s off, running and sliding down the hall in his Christmas socks.

Because I just can’t let things go…

Help A Buddy Out

Words: 4066

All Parts

— You and Bucky are roommates and you ask for him to teach you to be better at sex so you can please another guy —


“Y/N!” You heard your roommate shout from across the apartment. “Have you seen my shirt?!”

“Why of course, I know exactly what you do with all your shirts. What type, what color, what brand are you looking for? Wait, let me just look into my Bucky Barnes archives…” You shouted back with way too much sass.

A shirtless Bucky poked his head around the door of your bedroom. “Hardy har har.” He returned before coming fully into the room. “You’re overly sassy for no apparent reason. What’s going on?” He strutted over to the bed and took the book from your hands as he sat down. “Chaucer?” he questioned. “You only subject yourself to Chaucer when you’re in a bad mood.”

“Yea, well I had a change of heart.” You retort as you try to snag your book back. He pulled it further from your reach. “Buck, give me my book back.”

“No, not until you tell me why you’re in full sass mode today.”

“Well, then I’ll never get it back.” You sighed as you crossed your arms in front of your chest and leaned back against the headboard.

“C’mon Y/N. I’m your best friend. You can tell me anything.” He spoke as he smiled one of his killer ‘your panties just melted’ smiles. Except, you knew when he smiled like that to you, it was merely platonic. Which sucked.

“Ok fine” you huffed out. “The truth is…” you began as you sat up. “Steve is my best friend.”

Bucky let out a frustrated groan and threw your book back in your general direction. “As if. You know you like me better.” He stood in front of you and stared down; His eyes traveling up and down your body. “If you don’t tell me then I’ll just tickle you until you do.”

You made a face at that. “Don’t do that.”

Bucky started to walk towards the side of the bed where you sat. “You’ve left me with no choice, Doll.” He got closer and grabbed your arm as you tried to scramble away.

“OK, OK!! Don’t do it. I’ll tell you, I’ll tell you!” Bucky released you from his grip.

“There. Was that so hard? Now spill, Doll. Whats going on?”

You sat up once again and brushed your fingers through your hair. “Fine, but stand over there.” Bucky’s eyes travelled to where you pointed.

“You want me to stand in the corner?” His ‘you-cant-be-serious’ look took over his face. “You cant be serious.”

You sighed as you began to explain. “I need you to be as far away from me as possible when I tell you this. Its embarrassing.”

Bucky crossed his arms and began to retreat to the corner. “Fine. Makes total sense, Weirdo.”

You ignored his comment and pulled your knees up under your chin. “Ok. There is no easy way to say this so im just gonna do it.” You sucked in a deep breath. “I don’t know how to have sex. Not well anyway. I have this date with this guy on Friday and its going to be the third date. Everyone knows the third date rule! I don’t want to suck.” You finished with a deep breath, recovering your oxygen levels from your intense rambling.

“You’re still going out with that guy?” Bucky demanded as he began to near you again.

You pointed your finger back at him. “Stay! And yes I am.”

“Why the fuck–?” he started but caught himself before he revealed too much. “Y/N, look, sex is sex. Its, uh, its not that big of a deal. Im sure youll be great.” He said as he rubbed the back of his neck.

“It’s a huge deal, Buck! HUGE! Its sex!”

“You’ve had, uh, sex before right?”


“Twice.” He repeated.

“Yes, twice. I’m going to suck. I know it.”

“Youre not going to suck. It’s not possible”

“How would you know, Buck? Its not like we’ve had sex.” Bucky couldn’t argue with that, they hadn’t, despite how much he wanted to. “Which is why I’m asking you to help me.” You said, snapping Bucky out of his thoughts. “I want you to make me better at sex.”

Buckys head shot up from the direction of his feet, eyes wide. “WHAT?!”

“Please Buck, you said it yourself: sex is sex. Whats the harm if you teach me the ins and outs of it. No pun intended.” You smirked to yourself.

“You’re my best friend!” he spoke in an attempt to find an excuse.

“Friends have sex all the time. You’d just be helping a friend out.”

Bucky thought of another excuse. “What makes you think I can teach you anything?”

You chuckled “I think the plethora of random girls that scream their heads off in pleasure and beg for more is enough for me to know how good you are.”

Bucky blushed. “You hear that?”

“They’re like banshees, Bucky.”

“Are not.” He huffed

“Are too” You returned. Bucky crossed and uncrossed his arms before shifting his weight to his left foot. “Bucky, please. We are always there for each other when the other needs something.”

Bucky let out a sharp laugh. “Yea, but usually its when you want me to pick up your prescriptions from the pharmacy or fix the plumbing.”

“Buck, I need you. I know this is slightly different, but whats the harm?”

“I don’t know.” Bucky pulled his phone from his back pocket to check the time. “I have to go meet Steve. Just let me think about it.” He pocketed his phone again and turned to leave the room.

“Don’t forget a shirt!” You called after him.

Bucky opened the door to the café and scanned the room for his friend. When he saw the over compensating build and light hair he started towards one of the window tables. “Steve.”

Steve looked up from his view of the city and smiled as he saw his oldest friend. “Bucky, its good to see you.”

Bucky took a seat opposite of Steve ordered a coffee when the waitress came around. “Hows things?”

“Great.” Steve began. “Sharon is great. We got a cat.”

Bucky chuckled. “A cat? Since when are you a cat person?”

“Since Sharon is a cat person.” He smirked. “But, whats going on with you? Hows Y/N?”

“Funny that you bring her up.” Bucky said before he smiled and thanked the waitress for his coffee.

“Oh yea?” Steve smiled. “Finally tell her how you feel, did you?

“Yea right. Cause that would go over soooo well.”

“Oh c’mon man, you’ve liked her since she moved in.”

“Doesn’t matter, she doesn’t feel the same. She, uh, asked me this morning to help her become a pro at sex.”

Steve choked on his coffee and reached for a napkin to clean the drops from his chin. “What!?”

“Yea.” Bucky signed and sipped his drink

“What exactly does that entail?”

“She wants us to have sex.” Bucky replied nonchalantly. “She wants us to have sex until shes good at it, apparently.

“Wow. Why?”

“Shes got this date on Friday. Says it’s the third date so they HAVE to have sex for some stupid reason.” He huffed.

“Well,” Steve started “Think of the Bright side: Youll get to have sex with the girl you love.”

“Smooth attempt at making me feel better, pal, but there is no bright side. She wants me for the wrong reason. Its not like she loves me back.”

“All the more reason to tell her. Maybe she just hasn’t thought of you in that way yet and telling her may open her eyes.”

“I don’t know, man. Shes pretty determined. I think if she liked me she’d know.”

“Just think about it, Buck”

“Its all I think about. Which makes me think I cant go through with this.”

“Oh, you definitely cannot go through with this.”

Bucky reentered his apartment after a long and thoughtful conversation with Steve. He had a very valid point: there was no way Bucky could go through with this, but the more he thought about it, the more he didn’t want to disappoint Y/N.  She felt insecure and that was the last thing Bucky wanted. So he could do this just once, right?

“Bucky?” Y/N called, stepping out of her bedroom. “Are you alright? You seem a little dazed.” She continued once she saw his facial expression.

“Yea well what do you expect?” Bucky mumbled to himself as Y/N entered the kitchen to put on a pot of coffee.

“Did you say something?”

“What? No.” He hurriedly spit out. Y/N returned her attention to the coffee maker. “So, I was thinking…” she met his eyes as he continued. “We could try what you proposed. Just once. I’ll tell you what you want to know from that one time, but no more. Deal?”

Y/N squealed in appreciation. “Oh Bucky, you have no idea what this means to me. Thank you so much.”

She jumped into his arms and wrapped her own around his neck. “Yea. I mean what are friends for right?”

“Right!” she smiled. She was so beautiful that he almost kissed her right then and there, but he quickly stepped away.

“So, uh, how do you want to go about this?” Bucky questioned as he rubbed the back of his neck.

“I say we just jump into it. I mean, this is practically for science. No need to beat around the bush.”

Bucky felt his heart crumble just a bit. Hearing her say those words was the last thing he wanted. If anything, he wanted this to mean something to her in the slightest. But clearly it didn’t. “Alright.” He spoke clearly frustrated. He reached for the hem of his shirt and aimed to pull it over his head, but was stopped by Y/Ns soft hand on top of his.

“Let me.” She lifted his shirt off for him and Bucky thought he had never been more turned on. Y/N pulled hers off and slipped out of her sleep shorts then turned and strutted off into her bedroom.

“Jesus.” Bucky mumbled as he followed after her.

When he stepped through the door, she was standing there waiting for him in just her underwear. He eased himself closer to her and she reached for the belt around his hips. ‘This is so bad’ he thought as he grabbed her shoulders and pulled her up to him. She looked into his eyes and down to his lips. Slowly, she reached up and pressed her lips to his in the softest of motions. Bucky fell completely into it and Y/N placed her hand on the back of his neck in an attempt to pull him closer, but Bucky pulled away. He couldn’t do this. It just wasn’t right.

“Bucky?” she whispered as she placed her hands on either sides of his face. “Whats the matter?”

Bucky gripped her hands in his own and removed them from his face. “I cant do this.” He spoke so quietly; it was practically to himself.

“What?” Her face twisted in concern.

“I cant do this.” Bucky said a little louder so she could hear him, but this time it was laced with a bit of frustration.


Bucky took a few steps away from her. “I just cant.” He grabbed for his shirt, but Y/N stepped up into his space and grabbed it from him before he could put it on. “Y/N, give me my shirt back.”

“No, Buck. Not until you tell me whats going on.”

“Fine, keep it.” He huffed as he headed for the door.

“Bucky!” Y/N yelled after him. “Bucky, wait!”

Y/N chased him out the door and into their tiny living room. She grabbed his arm to keep him from getting further away from her. “Y/N, Stop!” Bucky yelled as he tried to break free from her grasp. She was deceptively strong.

“Bucky, please just tell me whats going on.” He could hear the sadness in her voice. It almost broke his heart. “Please.” She whispered. Bucky turned to face her with a cold expression on his face. He figured it was better than showing her his true emotions in this moment. ‘Did I do something wrong?” He met her eyes in shock. That was the last possible problem. “Do you not want me?” Slowly, tears began to fall down her cheeks.

Bucky sighed. “That is not possible.” He whispered

“Which?” she questioned

“Neither. You didn’t do anything wrong and its definitely not because I don’t want you, OK?” He reached up and brushed the tears from her cheeks.

“Then what is it?”

“Nothing, Y/N”

“Youre lying.” She was starting to get angry.

“No, Im n-“ he started, but was interrupted.

“Yes, you are!” Y/N was a full on mix of pissed and distressed. “Tell me!” she yelled.

“Y/N” Bucky sighed

“TELL ME!” She screamed again.

“I LOVE YOU!” Bucky yelled in her face before he’d even realized what he was doing. He breathed heavily, eyes looking directly at her before he stepped back and looked to his feet. “I love you.” He spoke again, much quieter.


“No, just don’t.” Bucky rushed past her back to her room and put his shirt back on. When he got back to the living room, Y/N was still standing there in shock. “I have to go.” He grabbed his keys of the hook and slammed the door, knocking Y/N out of her shock.

Sharon opened the door to her and her boyfriends apartment to find Bucky standing in the doorway, his head hung low, soaked to the bone. It must’ve been pouring outside. “Bucky, come in.” When he didn’t make a move to enter the apartment, she grabbed him by his arm and slowly pulled him inside. “Steve!?” she yelled “Can you come here?”

Steve walked out from their bedroom. “Yea, babe- Bucky?”

“He just showed up. Im going to go get some towels and an extra shirt.” She said ask she walked Bucky over to the couch and helped him sit down before walking to the bathroom. Steve inched closer to his friend and sat down across from him.

“Buck?” he spoke, but got no response. “Bucky?” he tried again. “What happened?”

Bucky looked up from his hands, but refused to meet Steve’s eyes. “I told her.”

“Well, that’s good isn’t it?” Steve questioned.

“No, Steve, its not. We were about to have sex?”

“You were going to do it!?”

“Just once. She was doubting herself and you know how I get when she does that. I was only going to do it once and help her. I thought I could suppress my feelings for one time.”


“I kissed her once and I couldn’t do it. Before I knew it, I was yelling that I love her and now im here.”

Steve placed a hand on his friends shoulder as his girlfriend returned with the shirt and towels. She placed them next to Bucky to use as he needed.

“What did she say?” Steve asked.

“Nothing.” Bucky sighed. “She just stood there. So I left. Well, actually I started to leave the second after I told her.”

“You didn’t give her a chance to say anything?”

“I couldn’t, Steve. I just had to get out of there.”

“Oh, Buck.” Steve started “Just stay here tonight, ok?” he sighed. “But tomorrow you have to talk to her.”

Buckys eyes widened. “No, Steve. I cant.”

“You can. And you will. She is the only girl you’ve ever given a fuck about, never mind the fact that she and Sharon get along great. You’ve made yourself a nice little mess and you’re going to fix it so we can all still be friends. Im too used to our little foursome now to have it fall apart at the seams.”

“Arent you the one who told me to tell her how I felt?”

Steve stood from his chair. “Yea. I was thinking more of a sweet scenario where you buy her flowers and don’t bolt after you tell her.”

Bucky grumbled and wrapped a bright, pink towel around his shoulders. “Well you didn’t specify.”

“I figured it was implied, Buck” Steve began to turn towards is bedroom. “Couch is all yours for tonight. Enjoy, stretch out, think of ways to get your girl. But im gonna turn in. My lady is waiting.”

Bucky made a face. “Steve, I swear if you guys have sex 20 feet away from me…”

“Chill Buck, Sharon and I are hardcore cuddlers.”

“That’s almost worse.”

“Oh please, Buck if you had Y/N you’d cuddle nonstop.”

“Don’t remind me that I don’t have her.” Bucky returned as he stretched out onto the couch.

“Goodnight Bucky.” Steve sighed and retreated to his bedroom where is girlfriend waited for him. Lucky bastard Bucky thought.

Bucky jolted awake at the sound of 3 sharp knocks. He could have sworn he imagined it and was getting ready to settle back into sleep when he heard it again. He grabbed his phone from his pant pocket which had long been discarded onto the floor halfway through the night. It was 3:30 am. What the hell. Bucky groaned as he sat up and walked his shirtless, underwear clad body into Steve and Sharon’s room. Sharon was nestled up against Steves side and their cat sat on his chest, rising and falling in rhythm with Steves breathing. Bucky shuffled forward to Steves side and nudged his shoulder until he woke up.

Steves eyes slowly opened and looked into those of his best friend. “Bucky, what the hell?”

“Little early for cursing don’t you think, Cap?”

Steve sighed and laid his head back on his pillow. “What do you want, Buck?” He whispered in an effort not to stir his girlfriend.

“Theres a knock on your door” Bucky spoke nonchalantly as he pointed in its general direction.


“Theres a knock-“ Bucky started but what interrupted by the knock itself. “See?”

Steve sat up slightly, causing the cat to jump of his chest and Sharon to slowly shift in her sleep. “And you woke me because…?”

“I don’t know. Its 3:30 am. Its dark. Im vulnerable. It could be a psycho killer and im not in the mood.”

Steve pushed the sheets of his legs and sat up. “Are you kidding me, Buck? Youre the fucking winter soldier.”

Steve began to walk towards the door as the knocking continued with Bucky hot on his heels. “Yea, well you’re Captain America. We are equally as capable of opening the door, but this is your apartment so I figured id let you. Just in case it is a psycho killer, youd be able to say you defended your own domicile.”

“Gee thanks.” Steve huffed as he reached for the doorknob. The door opened to reveal a slightly disheveled Y/N in none other than her pajamas. Bucky and Steve stared at her for a moment before Steve turned to Bucky. “Well, it’s for you. Totally get why you were scared though. She looks like a murderous demon.” Steve sighed sarcastically. “Im going back to bed. Lovely to see you though Y/N. Sharon misses you like crazy. I mean it’s been like what, 3 weeks since we’ve seen you. Crazy how time flies, we should really-“ Steve continued before behind interrupted by Bucky.

“Steve go to bed.” Bucky spoke without taking his eyes off Y/N.

“Oh geez, fine. Goodnight Y/N”

“Goodnight Steve. “Y/N returned with a feeble smile.

Once Steve was definitely in his room, Bucky turned back to face Y/N. “What are you doing here?”

“Bucky, we need to talk.”

“Look, Y/N if this is about earlier then theres no need. I-“

“I love you, Bucky.” Y/N interrupted.

It was Buckys turn to stand there in shock.


Bucky snapped back to his senses and was less than pleased. “Is this some kind of sick joke to you? That’s really low Y/N. I spill my guts and you have the audacity to make fun of me for it.” Bucky turned back into the apartment but Y/n followed him in, shutting the door behind her.

“Bucky, im not lying.”

“You are too. You are supposed to go out on a date this weekend. You don’t love me. If you did, you wouldn’t date that idiot.”

“Bucky you said you love me and you had sex 3 days ago. Not with me, I might add.” Y/N replied laced with a little frustration.

“So? I had to get my frustrations out somehow. I’m not the one who suggested we have casual buddy sex.”

“Bucky, I was just really confused ok? I really thought that if we had sex once that I’d get over you. I don’t even have a date this weekend. I broke up with Mike after he slapped our waitress’ ass as she walked by on our last date.”

“Prick” Bucky mumbled. “So you tricked me into sex?”

“Tricked is such a harsh word.”

“But an accurate one” Bucky finished.

“We didn’t even have sex Bucky. I didn’t even think id be able to go through with it. I just wanted to propose the idea to see how youd react. To see if you wanted me too. I almost died when you pulled away from me.”

Bucky looked up into her eyes. “Yea, well you got what you wanted didn’t you?”

Y/N detected a hint of anger in his words. “Are you actually mad at me? Bucky, we love each other. Or at least we did a couple hours ago.”Bucky refused to speak. It lasted so long that Y/N turned to leave. “Fine, Bucky. Ill just go” Y/N was stopped by a firm grip on her wrist. She looked up and Bucky pulled her to him, kissing her like his life depended on it. Y/N kissed back with as much ferocity as she could. It was passionate and sexy and melting. Y/N had wanted this for so long and it was amazing. They pulled apart only to breathe and Bucky brushed his fingers through her hair.

“We love each other?” He spoke as he rested his forehead on hers.

“Yea, we do”

“I cant believe it.” Bucky chuckled. “I’ve been in love with you since you moved in.”

“Two years, Four months, and eighteen days.” Y/N whispered.

“What?” Buckys head snapped up in shock.

“That’s how long we’ve lived together.”

“Wow.” Bucky stepped back from her embrace and rubbed the back of his neck with his hand.

“I know because that’s how long ive loved you too.”



“You’ve loved me that long too? You had a boyfriend when you moved in.”

“I know, which is weird now that I think about it because he let me move in with another man. He said he wasn’t worried, but he should have been.”

“I’m the reason you dumped that guy a month after you moved in?” Bucky questioned. Y/N only nodded in response. “I cant believe it.” Bucky sighed. “I hated that guy!”

Y/N giggled and moved to cup his face with both hands. “That’s what he told me.”

“Oh, yea right. How would he know?”

“I don’t know. I didn’t see it either, but he insisted that you liked me and wanted to kill him with your metal arm.”

Bucky chuckled and crossed is arms over his chest. “Well, the guy wasn’t as big of an idiot as I thought.”

“You’re ridiculous.” Y/N laughed.

Bucky grabbed Y/Ns hand and walked her over to the couch. He laid down and pulled her on top of him.

“Bucky what are you doing?”

“I’m getting ready to sleep with the girl I love.” He replied as he readjusted his pillow.

“Um, shouldn’t we go home? You know, since you aren’t mad at me anymore?”

“Oh please, doll. I was never mad at you. More just mad at myself. Also, Sharon and Steve miss you didn’t you hear? And all I want to do is take you home and stay in bed with you for days, but I figure I owe them a favor for letting me stay and whine. So, tomorrow we can all go out and they’ll stop complaining about never seeing you, THEN we will stay in bed for days.”

“Ah, great plan, Barnes.”

“Yea, I thought so.” He smiled his cheeky grin. “But for now we will sleep together and actually sleep.”


Chapter 62 and Chapter 209 - compare: 1) How verbal they are and how much they convey: the more they speak, the less they understand each other; 2) How Jian Yi corners Zhan Xi and how Zhan Xi goes to Jian Yi willingly; 3) Zhan Xi’s touch. 

I think that this is the chapter that gave me more mixed feelings than any other before - and that’s even considering that I’d already had mixed feelings recently. (I still stand by what I said in this post.) It’s pretty hard to explain clearly, but I’ll ramble a bit about three things that moved me: the confession, the kiss, and the “I know”.

1) The confession:

The hope: Jian Yi takes the plunge because he feels accepted and safe enough to convey his feelings. He doesn’t escape from the question and sincerely gives an “I love you always forever, here and now” answer that would move even the coldest heart. 

The heartbreak: Jian Yi takes the plunge not hoping for anything, and in fact, by walking away, he opens a breach between him and the person he loves the most. Judging by his trembling hands and lips, he probably believes that the cost of his confession will be the loss of that closeness.

2) The kiss:

The hope: We’ve seen Zhan Xi touching Jian Yi’s fingers. They’ve hugged before. But most of the time Zhan Xi is both embarrassed and reluctant to be physically close to Jian Yi. However, he’s gradually grown comfortable enough for him to unwaveringly touch Jian Yi. He’s not trembling or flustered like he was before when he couldn’t understand what was going on in Jian Yi’s mind. (I’ll keep insisting on the importance of what was going on through Zhan Xi’s head during that time that Jian Yi was kidnapped. I really hope OX will tell us about it someday.)

It is my understanding -and I’d be glad to be corrected if I’m wrong- that kissing is not that common in many Asian cultures, especially not between friends in a serious way. A kiss on the forehead, however, is a symbol of closeness, trust, and deep affection. It’s a selfless kiss in that it doesn’t need a reply. It can transform into a different type of kiss if there is gentle touching, and that’s what Zhan Xi is doing. 

The heartbreak: A kiss on the forehead is not necessarily romantic. In fact, if anything, it’s a kiss that’s “chaster” than other kinds. So Zhanxi’s could have been a goodnight kiss. It could have been a “thank you for telling me” kiss. 

In any case, a kiss on the forehead gives off a sense of “I’ll be there for you no matter what,” which is consistent with Zhan Xi’s promise to protect and care for Jian Yi. “He and I still have many promises to fulfil,” he says to the girl that had tried to confess to him. Jian Yi never forgets this, and that leads me to the most puzzling part…

3) “I know.”

The hope: Their trust in each other has not been affected. The promise to remain together, to protect each other, is still intact. I know that you love me in your own way - this could have been said by either of them because their history together is real, so is their affection and concern for each other. If Zhan Xi is the one saying it, then it could mean that all his silences and his looks can be accountable, that he just needed to hear it clearly from Jian Yi, and that he believes that he’s being sincere. 

The heartbreak: Most of the times, it’s Jian Yi who gets the last word, and if Jian Yi is the one saying it, he could mean that he understands that kiss on the forehead as “we will always be friends” - or worse: it could mean “I shouldn’t have said it, because now I know that things will inevitably change.” What’s done is done, and even if he knows that Zhan Xi will not leave him… Well, how painful could it be to maintain that unrequited love for years? 

Also, the background of “I know” is dark. But it probably means nothing, right? … Right???

Definite shitposting ahead:

Once again, I’m not sure what I expect: a change of scenery, perhaps - either He Tian and Mo gossiping about JianZhan (I, for one, would love to see that), or He Tian asking Jian Yi what happened with Zhan Xi and possibly comforting him. Just imagine He Tian passing his arm around Jian Yi’s shoulders and Mo getting slightly jealous, heh. Anyway, this is all that pops up in my head if I go down the heartbreak route. If I’m hopeful, however, I could think of Zhan Xi and Jian Yi holding hands and sleeping next to each other. (As much as I hope for another type of kiss, unless Zhan is really willing to go through with it, it would just be cruel to Jian Yi.) 

I really want to be hopeful and think that, just as they’ve both matched each other’s feelings before, they will come together once more. (At this point, I no longer think the first one-shot and anything before chapter 50 could be taken as an indication of what we’re supposed to expect.)

(Also, I should probably change the “funny and cute” tag I’d set for 19 Days. I’m not even sure if OX themselves foresaw what this story would become.)