You Should Have Cared Earlier [Shownu / Hyunwoo Angst]
Word Count: 1792
Summary: If he was never around, then why should you stay? He didn’t care, so neither would you.
You felt that the love that once burned with passion had been extinguished and reduced to a cold stub of wax. Monsta X had made an amazing comeback with ‘All In’ and you were more than proud of your boyfriend, but with that also came the loneliness and strain of relationship due to him never being around. Normal schedules took up quite some time but promotion schedules were double of that. You lost count of the number of days you haven’t seen him and that showed just how busy he was, leaving no time for you at all.
Sure, there were a few calls and texts here and there between the both of you but a relationship could only grow, or maintain, with time spent with each other. Hugging your pillow tightly until your knuckles turned white, you buried your face in the soft cushion and thought about where you and Hyunwoo were headed in this empty relationship, whether things would get better over time and most importantly, whether he even cared as much as you did.
You heard the front door open and things weren’t what you had expected. Shouldn’t I be running to him and telling him how much I missed him? Or shouldn’t he be running in to tell me how much he missed me? Instead, he went straight to lie on the couch and you stayed in your room, feeling too down to get up and try to have a proper conversation.
Sensing that something was wrong, Hyunwoo got up and looked at your room door which was shut. What’s she doing in there? Didn’t she hear me come in? Sighing, he went to the door and knocked thrice, pressing his ear to the door to hear a soft and weak, “Come in.”
Slowly getting up, you leaned against the bed backing and put the pillow on your lap as Hyunwoo took a seat on the chair next to your bed.
“Hey.” He tried to smile and so did you, making the atmosphere all tensed and awkward.
“So how were promotions?” You asked and he nodded his head, grinning slightly as he replied you with enthusiasm.
“It was great!” Honestly, you didn’t know whether to be happy for him or to scoff at the fact that he was having so much fun but not once, did he actually take effort to be with you or even keep the texts and calls going on for more than just five minutes. But you were in no mood to fight or argue and so you plastered the most neutral look on your face.
“That’s good.” All became cold and empty again and you couldn’t believe that that was all you had to say to him. No, actually, you did have a ton of things to say to him but they were all negative complaints, questions and accusations which you kept in for the sake of keeping peace. You were actually doing well, managing to hold back all your frustrations but Hyunwoo just had to say something that broke your self-control.
“What’s wrong with you today?” He sighed and you raised your eyebrow. What’s wrong? Taking a deep breath, you managed to maintain the smile on your face as you answered him with a lie.
“Please, don’t give me that fake smile,” Hyunwoo rolled his eyes and you knew that you had reached your limit. The smile on your face disappeared immediately, your look changing to a serious one and full of annoyance.
“So you can tell. Good.” Hearing this, he was quite shocked as he didn’t think that there was actually something much bigger than he expected. Perhaps you had a bad day or it was the time of the month but he could tell that you were angry - and angry with him.
“What did I do?” He muttered and you scoffed.
“What did you do? Let’s start with the fact that this is my first time seeing you in weeks.” Hearing this, Hyunwoo lowered his head, understanding why you were in such a bad mood.
“It’s not my fault,” Hyunwoo countered and you gave him a look.
“I know that promotions make you extremely busy and all, but can you look at me in the eye and tell me that you were occupied every single day and that each time you ended the call was because you had to urgently get back to whatever you were doing?” He didn’t say a word and just then, your phone rang and you picked it up.
“Yeah?” You asked and Hyunwoo watched as your lips curled up into a bitter smile after hearing whatever the person on the other line had to say. “I’m okay. Thanks anyway. Bye.” Pressing the end call button, you went to your messages and saw the video your friend had sent you right after calling you. Just like she said, it was a fancam of Hyunwoo’s collaboration stage with the maknae of yet another girl group. This was the fourth time you saw your boyfriend do such a…touchy dance with a girl group member and it hurt to watch him dance, sing and hug another girl while you were all alone, wishing he was there with you.
The harsh reality of things hit you at that moment and you could feel the lump in your throat and sting in your eyes. Ever since promotions started, other girl idols must have spent more time with Hyunwoo than you did. As he interacted with them, practiced and performed with them, you were somewhere far away and not a part of his life at all.
“_______…” He started but you ignored him, placing your phone on the bed before hugging your knees to your chest. It took a lot to not break down in tears but you were used to hiding your feelings. Hyunwoo reached out for your phone and you didn’t stop him. Let him see what I just saw. He watched the video and looked away with guilt, putting your phone back on the bed and scooting nearer to you.
“That’s what you said the last three times.”
“I can’t help it!”
“Son Hyunwoo, are you telling me that you can’t even control yourself?”
“It’s the choreography! Are you asking me to dance something other than what I learned?”
“Please, this is not some rated song or something. You’re wearing light blue, she’s wearing pink and the performance has a cute concept. I think that you’re supposed to be maybe holding hands, not putting your arm around her waist and leaning in for a kiss!” You pointed out and he frowned.
“It was for show, I guess? She started getting closer to me so I thought it was planned!”
“Oh, you’re always the naive one. What she does that wasn’t the plan from the start is obviously not the plan!”
“How am I supposed to-” Just then, Hyunwoo’s phone rang and you took a glance at the caller ID.
“Why is she calling you?” You raised your eyebrow when you saw the name of the very girl you two had been talking about. He ignored you, putting the phone to his ear. You watched as he put on a cheerful voice, making it impossible to tell that he had just been in a heated argument with you and you were surprised at how good his pretending got over the years. After a while, Hyunwoo ended the call and you scoffed.
“Go and get into acting,” You hissed and he shot you a glare.
“I have to go now. I’ll hear more of your ranting when I get back.” And with that, Hyunwoo left your room, leaving you stunned. He just…left? The front door slammed shut and you got up from the bed, dragged a luggage bag from the cupboard and started grabbing clothes and throwing them in.
She calls him and right after, he leaves? Your cheeks were now wet with tears and you wiped them away as you stuffed in more of your clothes from the drawer. Why should I stay in an empty home? The photo frames filled with pictures of the both of you caught your eye but you decided to leave them behind. They don’t mean anything anymore. Your toiletries came next, all packed into plastic ziploc bags and put together with the clothes. If you’re never around, then why should I stay? Soon, all your things were packed into two full luggage bags and you dragged them out of the house. You obviously don’t care about me. Locking the front door, you went to the car and loaded the boot with the two huge bags. So I won’t care about you.
Hyunwoo looked at his watch and knew that he was going to get yelled at when he reached back home. Firstly, he left all of a sudden and secondly, he was home so late. Taking a deep breath, he opened the door and entered the house but to his surprise, all the lights were switched off and there was dead silence. Guessing that you must have fallen asleep, he opened your room door as silently as possible and peeked inside. You weren’t there. Hyunwoo flung the door open and turned on the lights, the empty wardrobes and drawers made his heart drop and his mind telling him that something was wrong. Running to the toilet, he found all your toiletries gone, leaving only his toothbrush, towel and soap .
“This isn’t funny ______!” He called as he went to the kitchen next, followed by the balcony and study room. Gone. There weren’t any traces of you left except the photos of the both of you left on the tables and walls, some stuff toys he gave you and couple shirts.
Call. I need to call her now. Whipping out his phone from his pocket, he dialed your number and his eyes widened when he heard your ringtone coming from the living room. He rushed to the dining table and when he saw your phone left there, it was if all hope was lost. How am I supposed to reach her? But a thought struck him and he dropped to the couch. You didn’t want to be reached.
The whole house felt empty. No, it was empty. So was this what you dealt with every single day? He understood you now ; why you were so disappointed, frustrated and angry. But he couldn’t do anything about it anymore. You had left, taking all your things with you and leaving the only way of communication behind. He could search all over for you but he didn’t know whether you wanted to be found.
Hyunwoo regretted. But having regrets mean that it is already too late.