and felt like posting it now

the internet has made things quantity over quality. my friend posts a picture i took of her that she spent 20 minutes editing and asks me how many likes it’s gotten as we’re driving home from her hanging out with me. she’s more worried about how she looks than actually having fun and that’s fun for her. she looks perfect, as usual, and in that moment, i’ve never felt more ugly.

because this is the age of the internet - you get more likes on social media posts than people you even speak to. i don’t know what i look like anymore; all i know is that i’m not photogenic. and that’s important. when i finally get a good selfie, people text me, but never pick up my calls when i’m screaming. this year my grandmom passed away. i can see who views things now and i hate it because i hate how i can say this with certainty - everyone saw the post but nobody asked me if i was okay.

sadness isn’t talked about because sadness is what ruins parties. you can’t post that online because it’s nothing other people would be jealous of. “every time she drinks, she’s always crying,” my cousin sneers over dinner. nobody asks her if she’s okay. she keeps crying.

technology has taken away our empathy. we don’t have to talk to people anymore to know what they’re doing. we can see their every move on the snapmap and pinpoint exactly where our friends are without us on a saturday night. after all, if you go out and don’t make a snapchat story out of it, did you even really do anything?

and that makes it easy to feel like you’re just someone people keep around so they’re not alone. it’s easy to be friends with people these days - we’ve made it so easy to communicate. hell, there’s even tinder social now for people who feel like they have nobody. you dress up, you go out, you laugh about the weather, you spill a drink, you take a snapchat of the new people you’re hanging out with, everything’s funny. because the truth is it’s easy to find people to hang out with, but it’s hard to find people who don’t make you feel lonely.

so hanging out with people isn’t enough anymore because everyone can accomplish it. i want to feel special. i want my relationships to be different. and no matter how much i have, it’s hard to be grateful when people are showcasing their best moments on their instagram feeds. social media makes it easy access to the things you’re missing. it didn’t bother me that nobody ever tells me they love me until people started publicly broadcasting. because what’s hard in this day and age is finding someone who truly gets you. who understands things without you having to spell them out. who thinks of you during their normal routines enough to ask you how you are in the middle of the week.

my mom doesn’t get it. she talks to her friends every week if she’s lucky and i need the reassurance of every day or i’m screaming. but when it’s her birthday, she gets hand-mailed cards with long handwritten notes on them and every one ends with “i love you.” on my birthday, i get facebook posts from people i don’t speak to and nothing heartfelt from the ones who mean the most to me.

but i don’t talk about it until i’m at the breaking point because the reason it’s so easy to have friends is because it’s easy to hide parts of yourself, to have your weekend friends and your work friends and your romantic interests and the people you talk to when you’re sad without them ever intermingling. i just wish i had people who i could tell everything. but the second i cross a boundary, people leave. people always leave. i’ve never found one person who got to know me - all of me - and actually stayed.

because in this day and age, you don’t have to stay. there’s always someone better behind every corner and nobody really needs me.

Why I like kidge

Idk, I mean I always picture them being a cute couple together. Like a pidge with long hair up in a ponytail and then Keith how he always is. I picture them both like 17/18 and being a cute couple because pidge is fun and smart and Keith is impulsive and passionate. Like to me it just sort of makes sense because they complement each other. Now most people don’t like it because of the age difference (which in my opinion is not ideal) with pidge being 15 and Keith being 18. That’s kind of far fetched. But like I said, I can always picture them around the same age and seeing how their personalities would work well to have a cute relationship. I dunno I just felt like making a post about how I saw kidge in my head. Feel free to add how you picture kidge as well :)

anonymous asked:

It's obvious you are a compulsive liar. Work on improving yourself instead of expecting the world to cater to you, and you will be a lot happier.

anon, if anything’s obvious, it’s that you should think twice before pointing fingers. you aren’t qualified to question the credibility of my health issues. i know it’s a shock, but sick people exist! while i’m sure you felt extremely satisfied with yourself for sending me this since you were hoping i couldn’t defend myself against your lazy accusation, i actually regularly post snippets and screencaps of referral orders, test results, etc when i’m posting about shit that’s happening with my health. i’ve been doing that for like 2 years now, bruh. they’re in my main tags and shit, like alongside selfies even. the only kind of person that accuses of a sick & disabled person of being a liar is someone who’s fucking sketchy themselves. i don’t ask for donations, gifts, etc., i just post shit to chronicle what i’m going through as a creative outlet; if people like it, so be it. there’s no expectation for anyone to cater to me; i think you just hate that people like me, which is kind of… dark. 

since it’s no secret that every anon who sends rude shit like this is an insecure fool, i’m sure that it makes you rage that someone who’s considered much worse off than you is still accomplishing more than you are (assuming that you’re healthy/abled since no one in the chronic illness/disability communities sends this shit because they’re sick of their own credibility being questioned.) in your mind, if i’m sick & disabled but i’m still kicking ass in my classes so i can go to medical school while my fashion sense is on lock, you have no excuse to be mediocre. it’s easier for you to just hope i’m faking it so that you don’t have to feel even worse about yourself. 

the personal part of my whole blog is about improvement; i’m getting my health in order as much as possible in the couple years i have before med school, because it’s going to be really tough as it is. also, i know better than to take advice about improvement and happiness from people who say poisonous shit and accuse sick people of being liars; you sound fucking miserable. instead of pointing your finger at people living with illness and challenges that are of an ‘unbelievable’ magnitude, maybe consider improving yourself by educating yourself on our struggles if you give such a shit. or, maybe improve yourself by reflecting on how you project your self-loathing onto people and seeking counseling on it (i’m being genuine about this.) life is too short to be cruel, petty, and covetous; the sooner you let positivity into your life, you’ll be a lot happier.

anonymous asked:

That gun addition to the handshake post was really uncalled for. I felt great when I first saw the post because it included asexuals like me, but now I feel like shit because you felt the need to invalidate my heteromanticism. Don’t be a fucking bully and stand up for ALL asexuals, not just the ones you like

Lol. Ain’t no way that someone could actually think that was about excluding aces. Aces had been included in the post and it was only someone who was not in the lgbtqia+ getting “gunned” down, but sure.

So uh I’m not going to reply to an ask that I was sent because well it wasn’t all that um polite? So a uh a note to the sender if ya want me ta reply to your asks, don’t purposely misgender me and be a complete dick.

Now I will answer the question that was hidden within all of the other crap they said because other people might want ta know. They wanted to know why it takes so long for me to do each update on the comic if overall my art style is fairly simplistic and I only draw pretty much one thing in a frame.

So it takes me forever because I don’t think fully chronologically, if that makes any sense? When i started the comic I only had the beginning, some part in the middle that I really was sure I wanted, and the ending all planned out. Everything else along the way to get from point A to point B ta point C is not planned at all. I’m making those parts up as I go which is why the panels take forever sometimes. I don’t think “oh this happens and then this happens next” I think more like “okay here’s the start, somewhere along the way this thing happens and that causes something to happen more towards the end, and then I know how the ending is gonna go”.

So uh yeah that’s why it takes me so long to make the panels for the comic. I’m making up a lot of it as I go. Hope that answers some people’s questions. And again don’t misgender me on purpose if ya want me to reply. (I know it was on purpose because they also used a name that nobody but a few people know on here. If they have that name then they definitely know that I am a boy)

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idk about you guys but I’d gladly join Griffin in the sewers over Animal Crossing Mobile being anything BUT an Animal Crossing game.

Professor Lupin

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i want you so much (but i hate your guts)

Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson

AU in which Louis gets accepted to play for the Manchester University Alpha-Beta Football Team. The only problem: Louis is actually an Omega. He is determined to make it big in the football world, though, and he can’t do that bound to an Omega team. With the help of a faked doctor’s certificate and some pretty strong suppressants he is ready to fight for his dream.

That Harry Styles (Alpha, second year and youngest football captain of the A-B team in ages) doesn’t seem to like him complicates matters, though.


This is still a Work in Progress!


COMPLETE (12.11.2017)

A Note on Reblogging (Your Own Fic/Art/Stuff/Etc.)

Look, here’s the deal with tumblr: it moves fast. A lot of people follow enough blogs that scrolling through one’s entire dash is impossible. I remember the days when I could wake up in the morning and scroll back to the last post I saw before bed. Sweet, summer child.

Here’s the other deal with tumblr: I see so much anxiety about reblogging one’s own stuff, be it art; analysis; fanfiction; hell, personal posts and replies. I have (and continue to feel deeply) that anxiety. Every time, my inner critic and I go through the same song and dance.

Critic: You look like you’re begging for notes/replies/reblogs. People will think you’re needy/full of yourself/have to be the center of attention. You already have a few notes, why do you need more? Other people have it worst than you. Ugh, you’re just clogging the dashes of your followers. If they wanted to read it, they’d have read it already.

Me: *ball of anxiety* You’re right. Wait, no you’re not. Wait, maybe you are. Wait, no—

I’d say it’s 50/50, even now, that I’ll reblog myself. 

And you know what? Fuck that. 

  • Not everyone can get through their dash in a sitting.
  • Timezones are a thing.
  • Work hours are a thing, also affected by timezones.
  • Life away from tumblr is a thing (what??? I know).

There are so many reasons a person might not see your fic/art/stuff the first time. Reblog it the next day. Reblog it a week from now. Hell, set up a schedule or a queue and have it reblog itself three months from now. Go back through old fics and reblog the ones you really liked; I guarantee you have followers who are new enough to have never seen it or who would like to reread it.

Be proud of the work you do.

Oh yeah, I felt that resistance from here.

Say it again. Out loud. Write it on a post-it note and stick it where you’ll see it.

Be proud of the work you do.

You wrote/made it for a reason. And yeah, part of that reason was probably to share it with other fans. Otherwise, why post at all? I know. Man, I get it. I’m cringing even writing that. The fucked-up “don’t show off” mentality runs deep, right?

Fuck that, too.

If you have followers who unfollow you because you’re reposting your stuff (and this is hard to prove, remember; maybe they quit tumblr, maybe their interests diverged from yours, whatever), who cares? Let them go. For everyone who leaves you, many will stay. And many will be happy to see that thing they missed because of work, life, sleeping. Especially if you follow a few points of tumblr/dash etiquette:

  • Use cuts/read mores for anything longer than a few hundred words (I tend to cut at about 400-500 words, though if something’s under about 700 I might leave it).
  • Reblog at reasonable intervals (day/evening, next day reblog, etc. Hourly might be a bit much ;D).
  • Use tags so people can filter appropriately.

Be proud of the work you do.

(Write it down. Yes, you. <3)

Ravenclaw Headcanon

Ravenclaws like looking at the trophies in the school. They like seeing the names, and what these people did. They like to speculate if they’re still alive or not. But their favorite section is a whole wall will names of people who have done “Special Services for the School.” Some of the names are obvious, “Harry Potter,” “Neville Longbottom,” “Hermione Granger,” “Ron Weasley.” While others are names that Ravenclaws have heard mixed things about, or haven’t heard of at all. Names like “Colin Creevey,” “Lavender Brown,” “Remus Lupin,” “Nymphadora Tonks,” and “Draco Malfoy.” There was even plaque for those who could not be named. And above all of the names was magical banner that glittered the words, “Thank you for your assistance and dedication on 2 May, 1998.”

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These started out as doodles but I ended up putting in way more effort than expected. More of my One Piece AU, Gravity Piece! It is still 1000% self indulgent haha.

They have captions! ( ◕ヮ◕)ノ*:・゚✧

And once again more info under the readmore if anyone’s interested:

Keep reading

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Part ½ _OLI

I’ve had these on the back burner for a while, mainly because we’ve been very busy. I also felt like these don’t really represent the kind of work we do now. These were a mishmash of different inspirations and techniques. Enjoy!

what your favorite osomatsu-san character says about you

oso: appreciates bad people. probably liked eddy from eene

kara: you crave stability in your life. probably vanilla af

choro: you’re fucked up in the weirdest ways possible. straight up into heavy femdom bdsm

ichi: least stable type of person on this list. kinkmaster of the 3rd kind. weird fetishes

jyushi: chaotic good or chaotic evil there’s no inbetween

totty: you’re not a bad person but you’re not a good person either. wanted to fuck the onceler in 2012

iyami: someone should put you in a box floatin down the river grandma

totoko: you’re either gay or a dude who draws porn. also into femdom

dekapan: 40 year old mom or 40 year old teenager

dayon: rarest type of person. frequents 4chan and faps 5 times a day. probably still thinks dabbing is cool

nyaa-chan: you’re in it for the porn

hatabo: straight up fucking evil

chibita: you’re probably a very nice person. usually thinks being kinky is a bit gross

do you know why I️ love namjoon so much?

it isn’t because he’s my ideal man. it’s true that he is, but he’s also more than that. he isn’t some superficial standard of attraction. he isnt a handsome face, a nice voice, a sweet smile. he isn’t even a sweet guy or a hard worker. that’s not why. theres lots of people who fill that role all the same.

i love namjoon because he is everything I️ admire and look up to as another lost person weaving her way through the world. he is all these nice things, and then he’s a person greater than all that. it’s not his talent. it’s not what he was given. it’s not the manners his parents raised him to have.

namjoon has something special: his never failing drive to be good despite himself. his image of goodness comes not from a personal drive, an internal gaze for shaping his self. it comes from a sense of the world, a detachment from self, and an empathy that really goes past us all.

he is humble not because it is what he should do, he is humble because he sees himself as a person in the world, a person in a world of people who succeed and fail and ultimately are the same as him as long as their hearts beat. he’s kind because he sees everyone with the same humanity that he looks at himself with. he sought music as a platform for his message; a message for those marginalized around him and like him. namjoon is special because he isnt focused on himself like most people. he’s made himself a servant of the world, a person who lives simply and humbly and gives endlessly.

i feel like namjoon is easily forgotten. he gives the spotlight to others, he gives the credit to others, and in the end he never really just speaks for himself. he works so hard and asks for so little. and I️ admite how he does this because he is genuinely good. very few people can actually claim that title.

but I’m asking that you just take the time to love namjoon. learn about him. pay attention to his mannerisms — and now how they revolve around and benefit your bias — and his efforts. see how he struggles and overcomes and then keeps giving and giving. it isn’t just that namjoon deserves love. I️ think the world also deserves to learn and liken itself to him… he’s such a strong role model and there so much to learn from him. there’s so much to love. please give him a chance and take the time to do so

we get it, you’re gay.
my sexuality is not a shirt that I take off at the end of each day, it is not dirty. I do not dress myself in lesbianism just for the fashion perks; homophobia is not in style. i am not a living light switch, I do not turn myself off to solve all your problems, my light will not go out because it’s too bright for you.
we get it, you’re gay.
if I stop talking about it, it will not go away. I would say I am sorry to disappoint but I am not sorry, I am gay, I am very gay and I am not sorry for who I am, I am only sorry that you have a problem with self-liberation and confidence.
we get it, you’re gay.
I can tell when someone is uncomfortable and my sexuality is making you uncomfortable, you are upset that I am comfortable in my own skin, you are upset that I am comfortable with the fact that I love girls and you are uncomfortable about the fact that I won’t shut up. you can’t silence my sexuality, actions speak louder than words.
we get it, you’re gay.
you don’t mind that I’m gay you just don’t want me to be too gay, because being too gay is distracting. you want me to be quiet gay, nice gay, understanding gay, your-gay-friend gay, let-you-get-away-with-everything gay. I can like girls but I’m supposed to whisper that kind of thing, not shout it. the neighbors aren’t supposed to hear.
we get it, you’re gay.
you say you understand, but you’d rather just push it under the rug. it’s okay if I’m gay, but I shouldn’t rub it in your face. you don’t mind, you say, but you can’t help but notice how many people are gay these days and you assume it must be some kind of practical joke. I am not a joke, my life is not some riddle, do you see me laughing? this is not funny.
we get it, you’re gay.
oh, I’m just rebellious, I’ve been told. a rebellious teen confused by the media, so tell me, where is my army? where are my hundreds of thousands of lgbt soldiers, ready to fight this war on love? we stand united but we are not armed, because if we bring the weapons we have guaranteed ourselves a two-minute five o'clock news slot, tragic tragedy, one-more-gay-gone, let’s save the world, let’s save the gays.
we get it, you’re gay.
“lesbians have ruined flannels for me” because the community was supposed to ask for a style after you denied us basic human rights? I’m sorry gay girls have ruined plaid for you, but it never looked too great on you anyway. maybe you should stick to solid colors; if you put too many shades on one shirt, it might look like a rainbow and someone might accidentally think you’re gay. can’t have that.
we get it, you’re gay.
don’t annoy the straights! eyes wide open, avoiding ticking bombs of discrimination, it happens all the time but there’s no way to prepare yourself for hate speech coming from the mouth of your mother or your teacher or your best friend. I bite my tongue to keep from coming out but you’re just so sure that you can trust me, I’ll get it, no offense, no hard feelings, I will understand.
we get it, you’re gay.
I am not going to hit on you, just because I like girls does not mean that I like you, I love myself and I love being gay. do not make my sexuality about you, my life does not revolve around you. I’ve undressed in front of you my entire life but now you insist on changing in the next room. you don’t say it, but I know. I’m not a friend, I’m a predator.
we get it, you’re gay.
you can ramble all day about how that kid in your physics class is just to die for, but the second I mention that a girl in my history class is cute then all eyes are burning holes into my skin. you don’t have to bring your gay with you everywhere, leave it at home most days, it’s too embarrassing to share.
we get it, you’re gay.
I don’t look gay enough, I’ve heard. do I need to carry a sign with me everywhere to broadcast that I Am Not Straight, I am g-a-y gay, rainbows all over my body and in my back pocket, just so you can see?
we get it, you’re gay.
oh, but you tell me that I am not gay I am not gay because I am a girl that likes girls, I can only use the word lesbian. I didn’t know that I erased my name tag and handed it to you, I didn’t know that you were in charge of what I called myself, I didn’t know you were allowed to police my labels; I never asked for your opinions but that never stopped you anyway, do you understand?
we get it, you’re gay.
so, by gay, do you mean really gay or just a little gay? lipstick lesbian, three-way fantasy, am I right? what stereotype would you like to claim, or would you prefer that I choose?
we get it, you’re gay.
truth or dare has always been a death sentence for me, and anyone that says that party games aren’t lethal doesn’t know pure poison, I grew up drinking venom from vodka bottles because alcohol was nothing to a child on the run. so explain to me why I would stop now.
we get it, you’re gay.
in every wedding aisle there’s a “mr.” and a “mrs.” who’s the man in the relationship, they’ll ask us, nothing about us is traditional but they’ll insist we wear white anyway. marriage equality, what else are you fighting for?
I get it, you’re straight.
you’re the cool straight friend. you’re the best straight friend any gay person could ever have, asking for fashion advice and introducing me as your “gay friend.” you say that you have a pretty great gaydar, and you knew all along. do you also know that I want you to shut the fuck up?
I get it, you’re straight.
capital s “Straight,” straight as a telephone pole, straighter than a ruler. so straight and everyone knows without you saying a word because you people are everywhere. you’re on cereal boxes and billboards and in every television show. you’re the main character but we’re just there for a little drama, an episode or two, and then we’re gone.
I get it, you’re straight.
you have never had to come out of the closet because you were never in one to begin with, you own the entire house and didn’t even give us enough room to be. has anyone ever told you how dark and crowded a closet is? it is so hard to breathe with so little space to exist, I’m surprised my thoughts didn’t suffocate me over the years, would you have even noticed?
I get it, you’re straight.
you’re a girl and you like boys, only boys. I mean, everyone experiments in college, right? everyone loves that song, I kissed a girl, because everyone loves just to give being gay a try without the weight of what it really means. it’s not cheating if it’s with a girl, right? right?
I get it, you’re straight.
no homo, bro! holding hands, sharing drinks, making eye contact, it’s not gay, no homo. just two pals being gals, no homo, don’t worry, we’re straight!
I get it, you’re straight.
you have learned how to hate since the moment you were born. no worries, I have been too, but I unlearned heteronormativity so I could fall in love with myself. you preach it every sunday in church and every weekday at work, you learn that serving me is optional, that you can turn me away because you don’t like who I love.
I get it, you’re straight.
lets talk about me as a topic of class discussion, I am the focus of today’s debate, go. argue your stance. do you think this girl at table three should have the right to get married, the right to adopt, the right to buy milk, the right to exist? do you think this girl at table three is just trying to fit in? do you think the girl at table three should be allowed to go to prom? tell me, let’s talk about the girl at table three, no harm done.
I get it, you’re straight.
you are in every book I’ve ever read. the love stories are always about you, how can you expect me to grow up and not feel flawed? these novels teach me to hate who I am, it’s a miracle in and of itself that I’m still here.
I get it, you’re straight.
“there’s a war on straight people,” excuse me? we are just beginning to come out of the shadows because the earth is only now a little less haunted and you have the audacity to say that you are the ones under attack?
I get it, you’re straight.
every step we take is monitored and broadcast for the world to see. you are just a person allowed to make your own decisions but everything I do respresents my entire community and there is no space for me to make mistakes. I am not perfect but I am trying.
I get it, you’re straight.
you say that me being gay is not a big deal to you, it could be anyone, no big deal, not at all. but it’s a big deal to me, this wasn’t an easy thing to say. why should I silence myself, am I overreacting?
I get it, you’re straight.
there’s no rule book for being an ally and sometimes the borders become a little blurred, it’s easy to cross a line. I will help guide you but I will not hold your hand. I cannot always be there to watch the words that trickle out of your mouth, you have to remember that I am a secret.
I get it, you’re straight.
please stop talking about me like I am the latest news story, I am not a headline in big bold font, sometimes I just need a moment to breathe. I have these words printed into my skin just like a newspaper and I’ve never been more black and white.
I get it, you’re straight.
what’s it like to be gay? oh, you know what I mean, so when did you know? which girl turned you gay? why did you lie to us, how many times have you done it with a girl, what about with a guy? how can you be gay if you’ve never done anything? can you ever really know? what if it’s all a phase?
I get it, you’re straight.
the words we identify ourselves by are your insults. they lock us up for holding hands, they criminalize and sexualize our daily activities because they don’t want us corrupting the children. I’ve spent my entire life in an invisible prison with see-through shackles, this is on my permanent record.
I get it, you’re straight.
have you ever considered that my backpack is heavy because I have to carry the weight of your judgment to and from school every day, I have to carry a fire extinguisher in my lunch box because these toxic words are flammable. I might break my back but at least you don’t know.
I get it, you’re straight.
what’s it like to be “normal”? to never have to deal with the undercover I’m-sorry-for-you stares from the kids in the hallway, the I’ll-pray-for you promises spoken by nice ladies in their sunday best?
we get it, you’re gay.
when I’m telling my love story I do not want to lie. I will not censor the pronouns to protect the innocent because my happiness is not guilt-ridden. I am leaving this book open.
—  we get it.

Remember Vampire Weekend, like where the fuck are they???

More Adrienette for the soul

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philinda + otp tags