and exo were there too

EXO Runs a Strip Club

((  Click here for the Yelp reviews of XXX O.   [1]   [2]   [3]   [4]   [5]  ))

[  // Masterlist //  ]


// Xiumin

  • has two jobs: the bouncer; also a late-night stripper once the doors close and no more customers are allowed inside
    • has a death stare that sends away the riffraff and a seductive lip bite that draws in more customers
    • he has one show per night, often the closer, and customers who know about it always stay to see it
    • hangs out behind the bar with The Dragon when he isn’t working
    • likes to listen to customers tell him about their day, and sometimes will let them touch his abs for free to cheer them up
    • he is rarely available for lap dances, and those who buy them pay top dollar
  • official stripper name:
    • “Sexy Hyung”
  • unofficial stripper names:
    • “Bodyroll Central”
    • “XiuDaddy”
    • “Bao Chika Wow“
    • “He Was So Cute Before, What Happened?!”

Originally posted by breakin-machine


// Suho

  • job: club owner
    • gives his employees pep talks every evening before opening hours
    • talks to customers to make sure they’re having fun, asks them what improvements they could make to the club
    • also gives private shows on weekends to high-paying customers
    • “Touch $uDaddy’s abs for five minutes in a private room” is available for only $50
    • “Touch $uDaddy’s abs for five minutes in a private room while he sings to you” costs quite a bit more
    • dad jokes are always free
    • he treats his employees and frequent customers like a family
  • official stripper name:
    • “$uDaddy”
  • unofficial stripper names:
    • “JunMoney”
    • “The One Who Had Abs Like A Greek God But Still Managed To Turn Me Off With The Dad Jokes”

Originally posted by fy-sexo-exo


// Lay

  • job: main stripper
    • when dancing on stage, he’s been known to make customers fall out of their seats, and then he breaks character to rush over and make sure they’re okay
    • doesn’t seem to understand the impact he has on customers
    • choreographs new dance routines every week
    • once in a while, he will dress up in a multi-piece sheep costume and dance while taking it off
    • was surprised when he was awarded “Employee of the Month” the first month the club was open
    • his private strip show consists of him doing certain parts of the MYM choreography on customers (costs $250)
  • official stripper name:
    • “Z Y XXX”
  • unofficial stripper names:
    • “Sex Devil in Sheep’s Clothing”
    • “180 Degree Yixing“
    • “The Really Nice One Who Always Grabs His Crotch”

Originally posted by biaswreckertrash


// Baekhyun

  • job: bartender
    • takes frequent breaks to visit the DJ’s booth, claiming he has to make sure the DJ is properly hydrated
    • is good at making drinks quickly, but makes the most messes and drops a lot of ice on the floor
    • flirts his way to very, very high tips
    • also lets customers spank him for tips
    • makes customers feel like they haven’t spent anything so they spend more
    • strips on slower days, when the bar doesn’t need as much attention
  • official stripper name:
    • “BaekBomb“
  • unofficial stripper names:
    • “Delicious Bacon“
    • “Baekhung”

Originally posted by baeksilisk


// Chen

  • job: bartender
    • always excited to come to work
    • teases the customers about their orders, but they always forgive him when they see his smile
    • talks to sad customers and cheers them up, sometimes gives free drinks
    • makes customers blush with compliments and when he says he wishes he could give them lap dances, but he has to stay behind the bar
    • is good at keeping track of who has and hasn’t paid, and gets Sexy Hyung to kick out the bad customers
    • cheers loudly for Sexy Hyung’s closing show
    • also strips on slower days, and likes to show off his booty
  • official stripper name:
    • “The Dragon“
  • unofficial stripper names: 
    • “Bicep God“
    • “Seriously, Look At His Arms”
    • “Tyrannosaurus Sex”

Originally posted by purpleuhan


// Chanyeol

  • job: DJ
    • winks and smiles at customers from the DJ booth, can only flirt with body language since he’s far from them
    • is a really good hype man for the shows, and has a great voice for announcements
    • sometimes he plays his own compositions instead of the playlist approved the managers
    • once, he got up on stage to dance and everyone stopped what they were doing and stared.  He was almost fired that day
    • so now, he does his own little shows from the booth, unbuttoning his shirt and biting his lip at customers.  $uDaddy allows it
  • official stripper name:
    • N/A
  • unofficial stripper name:
    • N/A

Originally posted by mrluhan


// D.O

  • job: manager
    • works with $uDaddy to keep the club running
    • his advertising methods have brought the club more customers than they can sometimes handle
    • keeps the club very, very clean
    • always wears a suit, no one has ever seen him without clothes on
    • never tries to seduce the customers, and is usually out of sight
    • once in a while, a customer will request him for a lap dance and when he declines, they get so sad that he gives them a free drink pass
    • frequent customers have made it their mission to see him strip one day, and he claims it’ll never happen
    • the most he gives is a shy hip thrust or joking body roll, which gets them excited anyway
    • sometimes often always watches Silver Wolf’s shows and gives him praise afterwards
  • official stripper name:
    • N/A
  • unofficial stripper name:
    • N/A

Originally posted by kyungsuhos


// Kai

  • job: main stripper
    • his routines last the longest, and he does the same ones over and over, but they always keep the customers’ attention
    • prefers to be on stage rather than to give lap dances, so his lap dances cost the most
    • $uDaddy has had to tell him to tone down the sexy because he’s too damn sexy and he doesn’t want customers to get hurt from fainting
    • he claims it’s impossible to turn down the sexy, and has to apologize to customers every night for making them faint
    • when he’s on the floor with customers, he makes them feel good by laughing for ten minutes at their jokes
    • when he’s not dancing or on the floor with customers, he’s keeping the manager company
  • official stripper name:
    • “Silver Wolf”
  • unofficial stripper names:
    • “Rude Boy”
    • “Extremely Rude Boy”
    • “So Flexible, So Sweaty“
    • “The One Who Made Me Fall Over Because He Winked At Me”

Originally posted by luhan-vevo


// Sehun

  • job: stripper
    • customers underestimate him until he gets on stage, then they throw all their remaining money, sometimes their entire wallets
    • is the most requested stripper for lap dances
    • sometimes likes to talk and laugh with customers when he’s supposed to be giving them the booty, but they usually don’t mind
    • gives customers sass when they tip him with coins
    • $uDaddy watches him to make sure he isn’t too sassy the customers who aren’t as nice
    • few customers who request “The Maknae Thunder Experience” can talk about it, until weeks after (it’s very intense, and very expensive)
  • official stripper name:
    • “Maknae Thunder”
  • unofficial stripper names:
    • “Boba Butt“
    • “Cheeky Devil” (because of his booty butt cheeks and his cheekiness with the customers)

Originally posted by helensmovingcastle

Who would you request for a lap dance?

Sometimes I forget that these people

Originally posted by coffeewithbts

Originally posted by chaerin--gizibe

Originally posted by dazzlingkai

were born the same year as these people

Originally posted by dean-appreciation-blog

Originally posted by myungsxxs

Originally posted by clubeskimo

But then again

Originally posted by clubeskimo

Originally posted by blockyung

Originally posted by blobyblome

In conclusion: everyone’s a dork

10

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