Yuuri despises socializing with people he doesn’t know, but his unconventional family and marriage is one of the hottest gossip topics in town especially among the other mums. One day, he decides to just fuck it all…and sorely regrets it afterwards.
the most romantic line out of anything ever will always be “he grinned, and everything about him was perfect, and i fell in love instantly” like seriously everyone else can go home, night vale got you beat by a long run.
i. they will not appreciate all your gifts, will akin them to
a cat bringing dead mice to their feet. this is fine. everything else you give,
they will find gorgeous. if you are vain enough, give them something of yours
to wear. if you are rash enough, give them something of yours to wear. they
will find it beautiful and every Other will know you’ve claimed that one. be
sure no one else, such as Not-Cat or even the crows, have done the same yet. a
human, no matter their talents, would be worth such a war. you must remember
this, if you see them keeping feathers-blacker-than-night in their
hair/pockets/pouches. you might be able to fool them from another Fair, but, if
the birds have gotten to them, there is no return. best to pick another that
can catch your attention. any of them would start pleased with that.
ii. to appear human while first wooing them is best. you will
need two ears, two eyes, a nose with (only!) two nostrils, 32 teeth, 206 bones,
and about 640 muscles that do not slide or slip or slush. both halves of your
(singular) face must react together, but not mechanically, robotically,
stiffly, or in any manner similar to plastic or silicon. one side of your mouth
must not be higher or lower than the other unless it is a facial expression, of
a half-smile or frown. your eyes must not be too close together, or too far
apart, your ears must be even, the spacing of your
nose-to-eyes-to-ears-to-forehead must all be within a certain ratio. if you
must, watch a good artist space faces to see the estimate. but you must not be
too perfect, either: your teeth not too straight or too white, your nails not
too clean or pristinely cut or without variation, your skin not too
blemish-free. you need some faults in order to appear human. you must maintain solid form at all times.
still, it’s likely they’ll know, regardless. at least, they’ll probably
appreciate the effort. (remember, being seen without protection is even more
telling. keep sugar and pewter/tin/aluminum with you at all times; these will
look enough like salt and iron. it is also advisable you carry ‘offerings,’
even if you never leave them anywhere. creamer cups are most popular.)
totally platonic ways to show ur platonic bro friend u care platonically - a guide by James Buchanan Barnes.
• know his precise location and swan in to rescue his reckless ass when he gets into a fight - again - as if you got some sort of sixth sense to knowing he’s in danger
• abandon your date on your last night in town for a while to traipse around a convention looking for him
• after being strapped to a table and tortured and experimented on, be sure the first thing you do is ask him if it hurt when he became all beefy
• when he asks you if you’ll follow the person everyone else see’s him as into danger, let him know that you’re following the him he was and still is underneath, and you’d follow him anywhere
• follow him home from his mother’s funeral to make sure he’s doing okay, then tell him that you know he can get by on his own, but he doesn’t have to, because you’re with him til the end of the line
• remember him before you remember yourself after he says your name for the first time in 70 years, and then refuse to let go of the certainty that you knew him, even though that belief is going to get you hurt
• when all you know what to do is to obey orders and complete a mission, hear 9 words that sound like a wedding vow, and choose instead of killing him like you were ordered, to save him and make sure he’s alive
• after you’ve pretended like you only know him from reading about him in a museum, the moment danger presents itself, instinctively protect him from said danger
• when he brings up a double date that you went on and tries to mention the girls, don’t even remember the girls name, but do remember everything he did that day
• whilst you’re lying on the floor, beaten and bruised and bloody and once again, sans arm, summon whatever energy you have left to detract attention from him to stop him getting hurt
Bran, I'm so happy you're home, I've missed you so much.
It was Beautiful that night, snow falling just like now. You looked beautiful, in your white wedding dress.
Oh Arya, I'm so relieved you're all in one piece, and made it back home safely.
Ah yes, the man [Ramsay] you married. Of course you took mother's and father's room, these are the best rooms in the castle. You always liked pretty things, they made you feel better than everyone else.
I feel so attacked right now. *writes to Jon* Jon, I beg of you, come home, I miss you. Arya and Bran are driving me insane, I can't handle them by myself, especially, Arya. Bran keeps going on about the night I was raped, and how "pretty" I looked when it happened, Arya thinks I want to overthrow you and become the Queen in The North *sighs*. I need you here. Please, come back. 😩😢🙏
P.S. I almost forgot, Bran told me to tell you, that the dead are coming. 💀
“Bobby, you can’t keep doing that to him.” Bob raises his eyebrows, putting down his fork. “Doing what, Alicia? Corralling our son into talking about his crush?” “Exactly.”
Or, A fic about Bob and Alicia noticing Jack’s feelings for Bitty before even he does.
Bob Zimmermann is kind of messy, only a bit of a smart ass, and just a tad hard of hearing. Yet even without perfect hearing Bob can’t miss the affection in his son’s voice when talking about a certain line-mate.
Bob Zimmermann is many things, but he is no idiot.
“Did you get that paper done for your…what was it again- american pie class?”
Bob looks over his shoulder just in time to see Alicia send an appraising look from the couch. He catches a hint of a smile.
He winks back and she rolls her eyes in return.
Bob turns again to the large window, the white light blinding him for a moment. The large expanse of grass is still littered with snow, lining the way down to their lake. A blank sky hugs the horizon.
“Women, food, and American culture, Papa.”
“Right. So how’d you do on the paper? Did Eric help you out?”
no offense but no plot twist will ever be able to top the reveal in season two, episode nine of How I Met Your Mother, “Slap Bet,” that Robin Scherbatsky has never done porn or been married, but was in fact a teenage popstar in Canada. like that is the best plot twist ever conceived everyone else can go home
Today I say goodbye to the most amazing place on earth & my home. This island has my soul & heart. Won’t be coming back until I can buy my dream house. To my friends & everyone else I’ll see yaaa soon 😉 this years going to be fucking wild & I’ve got a new chapter of life waiting for me.