and even then you can see the end in the beginning of their love story

Auston Matthews - Part 21

Little bit of explicit content, again marked at the beginning with a “~~” and also at the end. 

Can’t believe we are already at part 21?? Thank you all so much for loving this story as much as me and sticking with me! Much more to come! 

Alex can see in a difference in my mood and tries several times to get me to tell her what’s wrong. I shrug her off each time and make the excuse that I have a headache, which technically isn’t a lie. I can’t bring myself to watch the rest of the game or to look at the girl again, so I spend much of the next hour staring at my hands sitting on my lap.

               I shouldn’t even care. It’s not like I love him and we never made it seem like it was a serious thing. It’s only been like three days.

               However I can still feel the hurt, I want Auston to tell me that I’m delusional. That there’s nothing going on between him and blondie. That she’s no one. I want to go back to half an hour ago where I was happy and looking forward to coming back to Toronto in a week, this time to stay.

               I feel a bit better when the opposing team, Columbus, makes a comeback period, overtaking the Leafs four to five with less than two minutes in the game. I want Auston to hurt right now. When the final horn blows, the Leafs lose to Columbus to a final score of four to six. I stand with the rest of the family and we slowly make our way back down to the family room. I notice blondie trailing slightly behind us, but I know she’s going the same place we are.

               When we reach the family room it’s quite a while before any players emerge. I note that blondie doesn’t talk to anyone, just hovers around small crowds of who I’m guessing are wives and girlfriends, she looks out of place and I know she’s not exactly welcome here. Auston emerges from the hallway a bit later, a grumpy look on his face mixed with something I can’t put my finger on, shame maybe? I remain silent and refuse to meet his eyes while his family talks to him.

               Mitch and a few of the other guys emerge as well. I notice Mitch look at blondie and hesitate, a confused look on his face. He meets Auston’s gaze and they exchange dark looks. What? Mitch glances at me and sees me already staring at him and he gives me a sad smile, understanding completely.

               I feel a warm hand brush against mine and I rip it out of his reach. I may not know what’s going on right now but I know I want nothing to do with touching him.

               “Y/N, can I please talk to you a moment?” Auston whispers and I shake my head.

               “No,” I snap back and step away from him, giving myself some distance.

               Auston makes an aggravated noise in the back of his throat but he doesn’t push it. Instead he walks over to where blondie has been watching him like a hawk and begins whispering to her. I can’t help but stare, she rolls her eyes at him several times and reaches out to touch his arm which he dodges each time. I can see Mitch watching me out of the corner of my eye and I want to go ask him but I refrain.

               I look back over time to see blondie stalking out of the family room, a bitter look on her face though she never looks my way.

               “Y/N, please, you’re leaving in less than an hour, please talk to me,” Auston is back in front of me, he doesn’t try to touch me this time. I eye him a moment, sincerity on his face and I nod.

               I follow him back to the same hallway we were in just hours before, this time a much different mood and atmosphere between us. Auston turns to face me and runs his hands through his hair.

               “I’m assuming you know I must have had a thing with that girl,” he says slowly and I nod. “Had being the correct terminology.”

               He pauses as if he expects me to say something but I just stare at him, waiting for him to continue.

               “How did you know?” He then asks and I frown, of course he’s going to make me talk.

               “Her perfume, I could smell it in your car both times I was in it,” I tell him, staring at the wall over his shoulder.

               Auston nods slowly, his hands now behind his neck.

               “She wasn’t my girlfriend, more of a regular hook up type thing,” Auston says and I drop my eyes down to the floor, I do not like thinking about the two of them together. “And the night you and my family came to Toronto was the last night I was with her, I swear. I was so worked up about you coming and I was scared that I would still have feelings for you and I wouldn’t be able to do anything about those feelings because you’re my sister’s best friend and basically an adopted third daughter.” Auston starts ramblings and I watch him with wide eyes.

               “I needed something to just get it all out of my system and as soon as you all got to my place I felt so… dirty… like I cheated at something. I didn’t want anyone to go upstairs because I was being paranoid. And then in the car on the way to the restaurant and you were sitting so close to me and I just… and then you opened my present and you were so happy and I wanted you to have that expression every time I’m with you. And when I finally got to kiss you on the hill, then yesterday when you touched me… and last night when you slept in my bed with me even for those few hours I just…” Auston looks like he’s about to burst and I reach out my hand to cover his mouth.

               “Breathe, Auston. I’m not running away am I?” I say gently, seeing him upset is even more upsetting than seeing the blonde bitch try to touch him.

               Auston takes a moment to catch his breath, my finger still against his lips.

               “Yesterday, I went to her place after practice and she came out to my car, I made her delete me from every possible thing. My number, my snapchat… everything. I forgot she was coming to the game tonight and I never imagined she would have sat that close to you, nor that she would come down here especially because she never had before,” Auston says and I nod slowly.

               “What reason did you give her to delete all you stuff off her phone?” I ask slowly, my hand back at my side and I fumble with my coat zipper.

               “I told her I wasn’t into the whole hook up scene anymore… priorities,” he says softly and a faint smile crosses my face.

               “That doesn’t excuse the fact that you gave me a pillow that smelled like her,” I scowl at him.

               “Technically, I gave that pillow to Breyana, you took the pillow from her,” he says, a cautious half smile playing across his lips.

               “Oh yeah…” I say dumbly and he tentatively reaches out to me, this time I let him.

               He places his hand on my shoulder and tries to pull me towards him, his face taunt with wariness and I know in that moment he’s scared I’ll pull away. Instead, I step into him and wrap my arms around his waist, my face against his neck. He physically relaxes and breathes a sigh of relief, his arms wrapping tightly around me.

               “Thank you for explaining,” I whisper, all the dread in my stomach has since vanished. I have no reason to not believe him.

               “Thank you for letting me,” Auston says back, I feel his lips in my hair.

               “But, I think maybe we should take things a little slower,” I add and he stills slightly.

               “Slower?” He asks slowly and I pull back to look up at him. I can see him thinking back to yesterday on the steps.

               “Mhm, no kissing or touching until our first date,” I say, putting on my most serious face.

               Auston stares at me a moment and I can see him trying to find something to say, his face a mess of confusion.

               “I’m kidding, Auston,” I laugh and for the second time in two minutes he breathes a sigh of relief. Grabbing my chin and pressing his lips to mine, I melt into him and immediately open to him. He trails his hands to my waist, I wrap my arms tighter around his neck, standing my on tip toes. I giggle against his lips when his hands go to my butt, Auston goes still and I giggle again.

               “Way to kill the mood,” Auston laughs against my lips and I pull away, sliding my hands down his arms though his hands don’t leave my butt.

               “Can’t get too carried away, your parents are waiting for us. They have to leave soon,” I say regretfully.

               “And so do you,” he murmured and I give him a small smile.

               “Technically you do too, because you also have a flight to catch to New York,” I tap his forehead with my finger and adjust my shirt, his hands slip from my butt somewhat reluctantly.

               “When do you come back to Toronto?” He asks as we step back out into the family room.

               I catch Mitch’s eye and he waggles his eyebrows at me and I turn crimson.

               “I have to fill out all the paperwork to come over to Canada to live, I still technically have to transfer schools, which can take a bit of time but I would imagine I’ll be back in about a week,” I say distractedly, the idea of actually moving to Toronto seems so foreign to me.

               We rejoin his family, though this disappearance was noticed by Mrs. Matthews who is watching us like a hawk. Auston and I both realize this at the same time and we both look away from her quickly, guilty looks on our faces. Alex and Breyana are lit up like the Empire State Building to the side, eyeing us, Mr. Matthews looks like he didn’t even notice.

               Alex POV

               Finally! I can’t help the giddy expression on my face as I watch Auston and Y/N enter the family room again, both of them looking happier than they have all week. Breyana and I high five behind their backs, though I’m sure we had very little to actually do with anything.

               Now it’s time to say goodbye, the part that we all hate, even Auston. Breyana goes first, tears already welling in her eyes, she’s the one that misses Auston the most when we leave. After several minutes Auston finally gets her to calm down and smile and soon enough it’s my turn.

               “Take care of my best friend,” I whisper to him, wrapping my arms around his neck and hugging him tightly.

               “I don’t think that girl needs anyone to take care of her,” Auston muses and I squeeze my eyes shut, refusing to cry.

               “She doesn’t, but never hurts to have backup,” I reply and he squeezes me gently. I peek over his shoulder at Y/N and see her standing slightly to the side, still stubborn about being a part of the family. Auston follows my gaze over to her and like a magnet, Y/N seems to instantly know. She looks up and sees us both staring at her and immediately turns red, scowling at us.

               Auston and I laugh and I quickly give him another hug before skipping over to Y/N’s side.

               “I would ask why you aren’t in line to say goodbye to my brother but something tells me that you’ll have plenty of time for that later,” I tease and she smacks my arm.

               “Alex!” She scolds and I scoff at her.

               “I meant that you still have a bit before you have to leave, Y/N. Pervert,” I again tease her and she rolls her eyes.

               “I told Auston to take care of you,” I add and she snaps her eyes back to me.

               “I don’t need to be taken care of,” she huffs at me and I laugh.

               “That’s exactly what Auston said.”

               She smiles at this, a warm feeling emitting from her and I can’t help but smile as well.

               “Which is why I’m going to tell you to take care of him as well,” I say quietly, wrapping my arm around hers and laying my head on her shoulder.

               Y/N is quiet for a moment before squeezing my hand gently, not needing to say anything.

               “I think I’m sadder to be leaving you, to be honest,” I say after we sit in silence for a while.

               “I know,” Y/N says and I laugh.

               “Of course you do,” I muse and we watch as my mother gives Auston one last hug. We both get to our feet and make our way back over to the family, Auston’s eyes going right to Y/N and she takes her place by his side. I smirk at her and she again rolls her eyes at me, but the smile on her face tells me enough.

               Before I know it we are all outside by the SUV we picked Y/N up in just a week earlier, already going home just without any pit stops on this run. I embrace Y/N once more, tears threatening to spill from both of us.

               “Love you,” Y/N whispers to me.

               “Love you,” I whisper back, a bit jealous that Auston will get to see her so much than I will now. “I’m glad you picked Toronto, I’m so proud of you.”

               Y/N squeezes me even tighter, a can feel her wet cheek against mine.

               “Thank you,” she chokes out and we finally let go of one another.

               Y/N steps back onto the sidewalk with Auston, her luggage at her feet. Mom steps up to her and gathers her into a tight hug.

               “We are so proud of you, Y/N,” she also whispers and Y/N’s eyes instantly close, it’s easy to see how much she loves my mom. “Take care of each other,” she says to both Y/N and Auston, letting go of Y/N and stepping back down to the side of the SUV.

               “Mom, don’t worry, they will be just fine,” I tell her, squeezing her hand and opening her door for her. She gives Y/N and Auston a smile and tears seep out of her eyes, leaving one child in Toronto is hard enough for her, now she’s leaving two.

               Normal POV

               Auston and I watch the SUV pull away from the sidewalk, both of us waving until they turn into traffic. He reaches down and picks up my bags before I can protest and brings them over to the rental car my parents sent for me, placing them all the in the trunk. I watch him pack everything in with a frown on my face. I don’t want to leave him.

               “Why the sad face?” Auston asks me, closing the trunk with a small click.

               “I think I might actually miss you this next week,” I admit, grinning at him.

               “Actually week and a half, we have a couple game road trip,” he says, standing in front of me, for once we are the same height thanks to the curb I’m standing on.

               “Oh boy, a whole ten days, compared to twenty years that seems so long,” I muse, as he takes a step closer to me, just inches away.

               “I guess my imagination will have to suffice me for another ten days,” Auston sighs and I can tell he wants to touch me but his hands stay in his pockets.

               “If we were in high school I would tell you to get in the backseat of my car,” I whisper at him, licking my lips and he scowls at me.

               “Oh, don’t do that to me,” he groans and I hear the door to the building open behind us and before I can turn around I hear a low wolf whistle.

               Auston throws a filthy look over my shoulder and I know it has to be Mitch.

               “Wow, pretty steamy out here for middle of winter,” I hear Mitch say loudly and I giggle, looking over my shoulder at him and a few other guys walking to their cars, preparing to head to the airport.

               “Fuck off,” Auston calls out and I grab Auston’s hand, tugging him to the side of the building beside of us, hiding us in the shadows.

               ~~

His mouth finds mine instantly but he seems to remember his rule about touching me again because his hands stay away from my ass this time, staying in my hair and at the back of my neck. I run the tip of my tongue against his bottom lip and he instantly opens for me. My hands roam into his coat and I curse the stupid button up shirt he’s wearing for halting my progress so instead I dip my hand down again, finding the wonderful spot again and he groans into my mouth.

“Please tell me to touch you,” Auston moans at me, unable to keep kissing me while I continue my slow movements.

“Nope,” I grin at him and kiss his throat.

“I hate you,” he says and I bite him, he jerks against me and I smile, beyond proud of myself.

“I really hate you,” he says again and I shut him up by covering his mouth with mine again, stopping my movements below his belt.

~~

“I expect you to use your snapchat wisely the next ten days,” I whisper against his lips and he grins.

“Ten days,” he repeats and I break away from him. I can hear cars rumbling close by and I know he has to go.

Auston walks be back to my car and bends to kiss me sweetly, holding my door open for me.

“I might actually miss you too,” he says and I smile.

“Doesn’t surprise me, I’m a lovely person,” I say and he rolls his eyes.

I climb into the car and another smile as he closes my door, I roll down my window and he leans in for one more kiss. A car honks behind us and Auston bumps his head on my window frame, I giggle as he curses and sends a filthy look behind us though I know its Mitch.

“Don’t let them give you too hard of a time,” I grin at him.

“Impossible,” he mutters giving me one last smile and wink before stepping back from the car.

“Laters, baby,” I say and roll my window back up. He watches me pull away and I can’t help but smile into the darkness of my windshield, more excited than ever to go home to just come back to my new home in a few short weeks.  

In my mind, the most amazing and bittersweet ending of game of thornes is seeing Winterfell with starks children like it was at the beginning of the story. You know who shares that same dream as me? Jon snow and Sansa Stark: 

“ I might someday hold a son of my own blood in my arms. A son was something Jon Snow had never dared dream of, since he decided to live his life on the Wall. I could name him Robb…” - jon snow 

  If I give him sons, he may come to love me. She would name them Eddard and Brandon and Rickon and Robb, and raise them all to be as valiant as Ser Loras.And to hate Lannisters, too. In Sansa’s dreams, her children looked just like the brothers she had lost. Sometimes there was even a girl who looked like Arya.” - Sansa stark 

Now not only is amazing how they have the same dream of re-do Winterfell like it was before everything fell apart. But who is missing from that fantasy?  yes its eachothers,but why? Because they never had seen oneanother as family! People think if  jon  is doing  “incesty” love   it will be with Arya because in the books he thinks about her always but i think thats the reason why they could never work. They both see eachother as siblings the transiction to lovers would be a stab in the back for the readers: a CERSEI AND JAMIE but as stark! The shame, all the familiar love that makes the starks so amazing would be tainted. As Arya NEVER called Jon half-brother, never makes that distinction, but Sansa did. Sansa never saw jon as her real family. Its like Ned never calling Jon son (R+L=J). Its in the words GRRM use that the story is being told. 

Jon and sansa never thought about one another in a sibling way, never saw another as family. The reader wuold be bitter about them for sure ( who is happy about incest?) but it would not ruin a relationship that never was written in the first place.

Now dont get me wrong jon and sansa would NOT get married for love. It will be for duty, and really who in the books have more of a sense of duty then jon and sansa? Jon was willing to never have children and a wife for the night watch. Sansa talks about her duty as a wife since the first book ( I was meant to have his babies….or what if i dont give him a son?) 

Arya (but Daenerys too) never have this type of thoughts. They are passionate, in the long run ( or even at  first) they would get resentful and bitter about a political union with someone they dont love ( in the show you can see how dany is afraid of this). 


Sansa grew up with her mother sense of duty and family ( everyone and some can see the similiarity between sansa and her mother). She has learned that passion and love can take time, so a political marriage for her would not be that hard. But lets talk about the real issue people have with jon/sansa: 

 Jon would never marry is cousin,because incest is not is way:

 what if he finds the truth about his mother before meeting Daenerys. Then they meet and he is attracted to her? jon fighting is attraction for his aunt. And lets be real GRRM would not lose the opportunity of jon being conflicted about his love for his hot aunt . So Jon falls for Dany and they have the most romantic love, but both are heroes, they have to fight the others, so they cant both survive .i know people think Jon will be king, Dany is queen and Tyron will be the hand, but come on! this is Game of thrones and GRRM promised a bittersweet ending not the dinsey type of ending. If dany and jon happens the reader would had to swallow Jon and Sansa  ( because GRRM could always say: why jon with is aunt is romantic but jon with his cousin is creepy?, and he will be right. The incest thing wouldnt mean anything after jon and dany. The icky factor would be less shocking ( jon fell in love with his aunt, why cant he marry for duty is cousin?).  This just to say:this is all speculation but if by the end of season 7 sansa stays alive then this could very well happen.  The last book is called “ A promise of Spring” , the hope of happiness and if it not jon and sansa as cat and ned 2.0 married for duty but falling in love in time, i dont know what is.

I repeat: 

This is all speculation, wishfull thinking really. But How amazing and poetic would it be if the last scene of game of thrones is Sansa and Jon looking down at their children playing, and Jon saying to Sansa: “ a raven came this morning, a white raven, Spring is here” and they smile to oneanother.