and etcetcetc

dear people who want to break the habit of interrupting others: when you interrupt someone and they stop talking, do not say what you were going to. apologize and ask them to continue. if they say “it’s fine, you can talk,” tell them “you were talking first,  i interrupted. go ahead.” i know that it is difficult to stop interrupting in general, but start by trying not to allow yourself to benefit from it.

i feel like the narrative on women and makeup has become so muddled and confused and misguided. there is honestly an industry at this point based on denying that makeup has anything to do with patriarchy in any way, shape or form. despite the obvious fact that, no, the vast majority of men do not wear makeup–and yes, we still consider many of them beautiful without it, and without even thinking about it. 

the beauty industry has become attuned enough to the change in culture and women’s increasing liberation over time that they can no longer get away with marketing all their products as “fixes” for your “flaws.” no, they’ve actually co-opted feminist/activist rhetoric to sell their products to you. this imbues their product with a significance and a weight that, without this language, it simply does not have. sadly a lot of this language is similarly used by makeup blogs/vlogs/instagrams/etc without understanding that the capitalist machine has pushed this nonsense on us for years to dupe us. let’s actually take a look at some modern advertising in the beauty industry:

wow! it’s almost like “having it all” sounds familiar? hm, where have i heard that?

this is just one of dozens of products that compare their makeup to a revolution.

the beauty industry has been steadily using rhetoric to suggest that cosmetics bring women power and the like, such as:

but when all else fails, don’t convince women that beauty products will empower, change, enliven them, or make them assertive. just tell them it’s a part of who they are!

because how could the real you shine through without the help of some new foundation or lipstick?

there is such an absurdity to these slogans and such a sexism to the idea that these products are going to change women’s lives, bring them confidence, give them power or anything else. these products, nine times out of ten, are going to paint women’s faces in order to make them more appealing to the patriarchy.

it’s even gone far enough that women online have recently created a hashtag #thepowerofmakeup (?) to insist that makeup is not due to insecurities or a desire to please boys, but simply a personal choice and pleasure that exists in a vacuum and has nothing to do with anything else ever. this is the extent of the brainwashing. i don’t condemn these women in any way because their lack of understanding is not their fault and is a product of growing up in the society they have. to make myself perfectly clear, i do not condemn any women who wear makeup in any context. however the hashtag creator’s notion that “nowadays…it’s almost a crime to love doing your makeup” is literally baffling. makeup has never been more popular or beloved than it is right now, and the small group of people criticizing its misogynistic origins are nothing compared to the millions of women who feel compelled to spend hundreds every year on these products. it’s incredible to see women who do wear makeup portrayed as the outcasts, while women who don’t wear makeup know that they’ll have a tougher time getting jobs, be consistently assumed tired/upset/having a bad day, and be generally considered less desirable and inadequately feminine on the whole. 

speaking of the growing prominence of youtube channels, instagrams, tumblrs, etcetcetc centered around makeup and makeup products, i want to make a point. can makeup be art? absolutely! can makeup be fun? absolutely! can makeup exist totally separate from male dominant spaces? i’m not positive, but i think it’s possible. however, it is the dominant culture’s obsession with and need for these products which is harmful to women and girls. many will proclaim that, “i like how i look without makeup too!” and “i can still leave the house without it!” but, as someone who once constantly reiterated these phrases, unfortunately i know them to be denials in many many cases. i felt myself, over the years, insisting that i could leave the house without makeup, yet found myself doing that, at most, five times in an entire year. i told myself i liked how i looked without makeup, yet after two days in the house without a drop, i looked in the mirror and felt ugly, dirty, incomplete. and i know i am not alone. sure makeup makes you feel beautiful, but why?

if we want to talk honestly about makeup and the enormous influence it has on women and girls, we have to rid ourselves of patriarchal notions and delusions that makeup “just makes me feel good!” and embrace the idea that we can feel good, all the time, be beautiful, all the time, no matter what we look like, without makeup in any form. our choices do not exist in a vacuum, and there was a reason i cried hysterically to my mother at 13 for not being allowed to wear mascara. all women are beautiful, all the time. it’s okay that women wear makeup. we just need to start examining why we want to, and patriarchy’s role in that “choice.”

I’ve noticed a trend in a lot of MEA discussions that really bothers me.  (Yes there was a recent post that led to this one, but it was by far not the first, just the one that finally prompted me to say something.)

Sexless relationships =/= ace relationships

Please please please stop saying “ace” when you mean “sexless.”

Not only is asexuality an umbrella term as well as a standalone identity (which covers other identities such as demisexuality and gray-asexuality, where sexual attraction is experienced rarely or only under specific situations), behavior has nothing to do with and in no way defines orientation.  Someone who feels no sexual attraction to other people can still have, want, and enjoy sex.

Instead that gets into how individual people feel about sex.  Some language commonly used in ace circles (but not only applicable to people who are ace) are sex-adverse/repulsed, sex-indifferent, and sex-favorable (occasionally “sex-positive” is used but that tends to cause confusion between personally wanting/being okay with sex and the overall “sex positive” movement).

Sorry if this is getting a little too “asexuality 101.″  My main problem with the way “ace relationships” has been used lately is that the moment its discovered that there will be a sex scene (and usually an implied sexual relationship past what the game shows) with a companion, people write off that they and their relationship cannot be ace.  Which is fundamentally untrue.

While I would kill for more relationships without sex scenes or the simple ability to skip those scenes for any/all characters, that is not what makes them ace.  That idea just adds more fuel to the “gold star ace” (never has sex, never wants sex, never gets aroused, never masturbates, etcetcetc) fire that the general ace community has been fighting to stop for a really long time.

Even just talking about ace characters and the potential for canon ace characters is a massive step forward, and I’m so grateful for that.  But we have to stop stuff like this early, especially when it might be the first or only mention of asexuality that some people see.  I’ve read stories from and talked to so many people that thought they couldn’t be ace because they didn’t fit that gold star standard and its heartbreaking.  And I just can’t stand the thought of that idea being unknowingly perpetuated, especially in a fandom I feel so close to.

It’s okay to be discomforted and even disgusted by the process of pregnancy. People have perfectly valid reasons for feeling that way, from tokophobia,  Kolpophobia/ Eurotophobia, dysphoria, dysmorphia, trauma, discomfort with medical and biological processes and practices, etc etc etc etc. 

I’m a third level nursing student that sat and witnessed a woman going through labor and birth from start to finish and let me tell you it didn’t magically fix my discomfort with pregnancy and the process of childbirth.

It was a great experience, from a nursing standpoint, but it didn’t change my opinion on the matter.

What is not okay are judgmental and abusive attitudes towards pregnant people and/or people who wish to become pregnant or have children. Society at large tends to judge these people for a variety of reasons (their age, weight, socioeconomic status, idealology, identity, etcetcetc), and the medical field has a long history of abuse towards pregnancy. 

They are allowed to make their own decisions with their own bodies without you judging them for it. 

You are allowed to feel scared and/or discomforted by pregnancy, or other perfectly natural bodily functions! It’s okay, and you shouldn’t be made to feel bad for it:

But it doesn’t give anyone a pass to attack and judge others for it.

anonymous asked:

Re: wolf eye color- the first time I watched TW was before 3A aired in a pop-up video style marathon on mtv. One of the "facts" they showed during a season 1 episode was that the eye color was related to born wolves vs. bitten. So yeah, I'm pretty sure that blue eyes = "killed an innocent" thing is just some BS they pulled out of their asses after Colton left. And while Jack wasn't //exactly// a born wolf, if he had wolf blood it makes enough sense for him to have had blue wolf eyes.

Oh wow did they really?? That’s actually pretty awesome. I’ve been headcanoning that for so long –– that blue vs gold was originally supposed to be born wolf (or, like you said in Jackson’s case, having wolf blood) vs bitten, and they had to rush to change it after Colton left, inspiring “Visionary.” (Though honestly there was no reason for them to change it. They could have so easily explained that blue eyes meant born wolves and had Stiles go “huh, guess that means Jackson’s birth family were wolves. Anyone want to bother telling him?” and then moved on.)

I honestly prefer that I think because there is so much grey area and space for confusion in the “killed an innocent” explanation. (What counts as an “innocent”? What counts as “killing?” As in, does it have to be intentional, what if you’re one of five people who killed someone, do they all get blue eyes; what if you told someone to do something that got them killed, does that count etcetcetc) So yeah, the “innocent” thing feels like a rush job (that was potentially re-retconned to “guilt” later?) and I overall prefer the genetic explanation.

Things not to say to a transgender person:

“Are you a boy or a girl”
“So what do you have… down there?”
“Have you had the surgery yet????”
“Can I just call you by your original name? :)))”
“You’d be prettier if you stayed a girl”
“Too bad you didn’t stay a boy because I would have dated you”
“What’s your old name?”
“How do you have sex?”
“So does that mean you’re gay?”
“What happened that made you trans?”

Things to say to a transgender person:

“What’s your favorite movie?”
“How are you feeling”
”I like biting off the legs of my animal crackers before eating them”
“My favorite animal is the blobfish”
”Donuts. Love ‘em”

[Aka any of the weird and/or normal stuff you say to anyone else]

anonymous asked:

i hope you have a good day today =]

your persistence is really apprecaited (even tho i’ve been 500% a useless piece of shit since uni started). i always find it harder to compartmentalise wwhen uni is on becausei’m studying and working and tutoring…all in law… which is my 100% reason why i’m fucking depressed in the first place lmao. at least when i’m working it’s like. i go home and even if i’m just going home to sleep home is law free zone?

so yeah i’m not doing great. even worse than last year. which was worse than the year before. etcetcetc. 

Originally posted by suici-dou


do you guys know that i struggle with this internal thing i have about celebrity worship culture 

the reason why i say i “struggle” is because occasionally i will get a huuuuge crush on an actor or a musician or something and im like, researching things about them and trying to learn…. just things about them.  cause i admire them so much and think theyre so cute, i love their work, i love who i perceive them to be etcetcetc

and this has been an ongoing cycle for me ever since i went to college and started to think about fandom and celebrity culture (which i did seriously a number of times in several papers, my senior independent study, and master’s thesis) 

and i will think about simple questions like, “if i were this celebrity, would i like that a random person was looking up all these things about me and imagining these things about me and projecting these things onto me?” and i always come down to– perhaps to a point i would enjoy their attention, and attention to my work, and feel flattered–  but largely, my answer is always – no.  no, i wouldn’t like it.  i don’t think the majority of people would. 

and so
i feel very weird about my fixations on famous people and try to like– scale it back a bit.  keep myself firmly grounded in the idea that they are just a person, etc.   but it does worry me how normal it is in our culture to participate in these kinds of behaviors– i mean, to an extent, it’s a global sport

but there’s always that argument that, if they didnt like it, they wouldnt have become famous!– which i think is a tremendously unfair argument, and blames the object of other people’s iffy behaviors.  

but i mean.  that’s why its a struggle and thus far an unresolved issue 

this is a fragmentary journal style post, and not meant to have a resolution, and im terribly sorry if you were looking for one

rules: you can tell a lot about a person by the music they listen to. put your music on shuffle and list the first ten tracks.

thank u thank u @crewmanjeeter!! this is probably gonna be wild ahaha
1. hold on to what you believe | mumford & sons
2. this must be the place | the lumineers
3. dead! | my chemical romance
4. na na na (etcetcetc) | my chemical romance (i legit keep forgetting i own all of their music tbh)
5. ya hey | vampire weekend
6. broken crown | mumford & sons
7. step | vampire weekend
8. any way you want it | journey
9. life in color | onerepublic
10. enterprising young men | michael giacchino
well that was actually a p good summary of my music taste and far less wild then i thought. it’s just missing every single omam song, at least five musicals, and so much more jazz :D
tagging: @crying-over-cute-cats, @efferveseance, @coffeeinthevoid, @idiot-worshipper, @tayloriskatniss, and @darling-dearest-dead! feel free to do it if u want and if i tagged u don’t feel pressured!!