and especially not river and the doctor


Twelve Days of Twelve, Day 8: Character Development

There are so many facets of the 12th Doctor’s character that were so wonderfully and beautifully explored over his time as the Doctor, but right now I suppose I’m going to focus on how much the Doctor cared. And I’m not always the best at meta so bear with me if I ramble.

Keep reading

the Band AU relationships

all of these relationships are a secret from the press, unless stated otherwise, because the band marketing involves keeping the press guessing about who is dating who (also they think it’s super funny)

Twelve (frontman, lead vocals and guitar): 

  • is married to River
  • has had an on-again-off-again thing with Missy for several decades
  • has a secret kid with Missy

Missy (keyboard and vocals): 

  • flirts with everyone 
  • has a turbulent thing with Twelve
  • has a secret kid with Twelve that she keeps out of the public eye entirely, very few people know the kid exists
  • has sex with Bill one time to make her feel better when she’s Sad about Heather
  • EDIT: occasionally annoys Clara into having sex with her

Bill (bass guitar and vocals):

  • the only monogamous one in the band, pretty much
  • sees Heather in the crowd and falls in love instantly, pines through the story before getting a happy ending on that front
  • has sex with Missy one time when she’s Sad

Nardole (drums): 

  • also flirts with everyone, and calls them “babe” and “babydoll”
  • has sex with some of the weirder fans from time to time
  • cuddles everyone and is the Mom Friend

River (solo international pop star): 

  • secretly married to Twelve
  • dating Helen Sinclair
  • sometimes gets it on with Helen’s girlfriend Liv too
  • let’s be honest, she probably also had a threesome with Twelve and Missy at some point, but it would be a rare occurrence

Clara (the band’s manager)

  • dating Ashildr (not a secret relationship)
  • EDIT: probably has sex with Missy sometimes when Missy gets especially annoying

Ashildr (opening solo act, acapella + recording pedal) 

  • dating Clara

The Diary of River Song - Series Two

I’ve been listening to this over the past week or so. A really terrific collection. The scripts are great, and Alex Kingston is even more relaxed and confident in the audio format with this series, I think. I liked all four stories, especially part three, World Enough and Time (named such prior to the Moffat episode for televised series ten). River and Sixie surprised me as a wonderful combination—and McCoy is mostly portrayed at his judgmental best. The way River is written here makes it even more evident that she truly loves the Doctor and all that he is, and not just the Smith and Capaldi incarnations. If you enjoy the character of River Song, this is an essential piece of listening.

I feel like I remember seeing some Clara and River fans being kind of annoyed about the line about the Master being the only person the Doctor’s known who is anything like him, and on the Clara side of things especially I understand but also, like

I think this is more a sentiment the Doctor has had for a long time, since he was a kid

the Master is like him in two ways: they’re a Time Lord, but they’re not like other Time Lords

that’s what makes the two of them so special and bespoke

it’s not one or the other, it’s both - Clara and River both go a long way to at least partially match him personality-wise, especially Clara, just as Romana might be a brilliant Time Lord with mostly decent but also questionable morals

but none of them are Time Lord and a reckless outcast like him, and that’s what is needed for the kind of core, deep understanding the two of them have with one another, and in that sense, none of the others could even come close

Theory: Bill’s Mom in Series 10

Warning: another long-post incoming, but apparently I keep on having Doctor Who theories and I’ve got to get them out somewhere.  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯   Hopefully some of you will enjoy it/have some thoughts of your own!

So as Series 10 has gone along, I’ve been slightly suspicious regarding Bill’s actual parentage. I mean, true, we have pictures of Bill’s mom, but that’s only because the doctor went back to take pictures of “Bill’s mom”… which would be a perfectly lovely moment if that’s all it was, but we only have the Doctor’s word (well, photo) to go on that she is, indeed, “Bill’s mom.” And remember rule 1: the Doctor lies.

As I’d seen someone mention, there is a young girl in one of the “world enough and time” trailers who looks a bit like a younger Bill (trailer here: [x] ).  They’ve also made several very pointed allusions to the importance of Bill’s mom which again, could just be a very sweet character trait, but… they have referenced it.  Like ALOT (see:  hanging photos of her mom in Knock Knock, screaming for her mom in Oxygen, using her “memory” of her to save the day in Lie of the Land, etc)

At this point, I’m still conflicted at this point as to who Bill’s mom (assuming she isn’t the one shown in the pictures) might be.  My thoughts on who would be most likely have shifted as the series went on, but my main suspicions have been that she’s either River/the Doctor’s daughter (I mean they did spend 24 years on Darillium), that she’s simply related to the Doctor in some way/shape or form, or that she’s the daughter Missy/The Master talked about in Witch’s Familiar (though at that time, Missy would have technically been her Father, so the woman in the picture might actually be her mom: however, I’ve grown more uncertain with this theory, which I’ll explain in a bit).

In terms of visual clues, there are several that could suggest a relation to the Doctor (possibly River), especially in The Pilot: For example, one of the first things we see Bill do is look at a picture of River and Susan (about 1 min in exactly).  Secondly, when Bill asks the Doctor “Why me?”, the Doctor’s reply (“Well I noticed you”) is immediately followed by a shot of him looking at Susan’s photograph (about 3 min 20 seconds in).  Near the end of the episode, we also see shots of her with River’s picture clearly featured in the frame ( about 44 min 40 secs in).  There’s also the “grandad/father/grandfather” references in Knock Knock. It is, however, possible that those cues are simply intended to build an onscreen relationship where the Doctor views Bill LIKE a daughter/granddaughter,and not a literal relation. 

Also, going back to the most recent episode: in addition to the shot of the Bill-ish looking girl in the trailer, there was a curious shot about 32 minutes in World Enough and Time: When Bill and Simm!Master are walking outside the hospital, there are lots of camera cuts to sad, impoverished looking kids.  Near the end of that sequence, there’s a shot where they pass a little girl standing in an alley: Looking at her, it seems possible that she could be the same kid as in the trailer, (though I’m not 100% sure: perhaps someone else can say for certain). However, instead of keeping focus on Simm!Master and Bill as they walk by, the camera allows them to leave the frame and makes a strangely deliberate zoom on the little girl.  Could be reading way into that, but just throwing it out there.

Apart from the visual clues (which, again, could just be sentimental), something happens at around 9 minutes into the Pilot that struck me as odd: when she’s following The Doctor and Nardole into the vault, the door opens automatically. When she’s heard crashing about, the Doctor asks Nardole “The door upstairs, how did you set the security?”, to which Nardole replies: “Friends only”. My question would be: what does the “friends only” setting mean? Is it just that the machine picks up that Bill’s a decent/friendly human being and lets her in (which she is, but that seems a bit lax on security), or is there a genetic component involved? If the security has a genetic basis, it  would probably have a bioprint that would allow the Doctor and Nardole (and maaaybe Missy) to access the vault. At this point Bill doesn’t know anything about the “sci-fi” elements of the Doctor’s life (he’s just her tutor), so he has no reason to deliberately grant her access. Could it be that she has enough genetic similarities to someone that’s already been granted “friends” status?

In terms of a possible relation to the Master/Missy, I was more keen on this theory earlier on, but have cooled on it a bit as the series went on.  In The Witch’s Familiar, Missy explicitly states that she has a daughter when she’s talking to Clara about the brooch (“the doctor gave it to me when my daughter…”).  When I saw that she wasn’t wearing the brooch in the promo photos (and before Extremis aired), I thought it might be possible that Extremis!Missy was at an earlier point in her time stream than WF!Missy and the event involving the brooch and her daughter hadn’t happened yet.  However, after watching Extremis (which is pretty clearly set after WF), and rewatching WF (she specifically mentions the brooch being given in the “olden days of Gallifrey”, which I’d missed the first time) this theory seems increasingly unlikely.  

Now: If we accept for a moment that Bill is related to either the Doctor/River, just the Doctor, or Missy/the Master, the one main snag is that she appears to be biologically human, as shown by the fact that the Cyberman “patients” singled her out in World Enough & Time, and by the fact that she (apparently) grew up living a fairly normal life with her Foster mother (I’m pretty sure one of her doctors would have noticed if she had two hearts).  In this scenario, the two main solutions would be (1) the chameleon arch, which could rewrite her biology and give her a normal human life or (2 )her physiology is close enough to human to pass without any obvious differences.  At this point in the series, I think Option 1 is increasingly unlikely:  if they were going to reuse the chameleon arch, you’d think they would have (a) made a passing reference to it by now [since not all current Who fans have seen episodes from 10 years ago], or would have left a visual hint (like with a brief shot of a watch/similar object in her home or on her person. I haven’t seen anything like this, but do correct me if I’m wrong). Option 2 could be possible, since we haven’t yet seen what the physiological result would be if a Time Lord and a Human were to procreate, in terms of heart number, dominant qualities, etc., and there might be a way for more “Time-Lordy” qualities to be suppressed.  If River were the mother (versus the woman we think of as “Bill’s mom” or another human): while she did gain time lord qualities from exposure to the time vortex, both of her parents were biologically human, meaning she would likely have one heart as opposed to the Gallifreyan two.  

Another thought that popped into my head was that, instead of the little girl being young Bill, perhaps that girl was Bill’s mother.  If so, that would make the physiological problem a bit simpler:  Even if her mother were Mondasian as opposed to an Earthling, it’s been heavily implied that the two species are pretty much identical in terms of their genetic makeup (after all, Mondas and Earth are twin planets, and Bill’s “human” genetic makeup was automatically detected when she stepped on the ship).  In that case, it might be the case where the Doctor rescues her from the ship and resettles her on Earth, where she later has Bill.

Anyway, those are the options that came to mind, though I can’t say what the answer is.  The only thing I know for sure is that they’ve made a pretty big deal of Bill’s mom , so she’ll probably show up again one way or another.  We shall see.  If you have any other thoughts, would love to hear them!

Bring Me Back, Part Two: Entanglement

WARNING: Depression (duh), character death (it won’t be a surprise), very mild language (nothing worse than I’ve written before), anorexia and self-harm (mentioned in the narrative but not directly seen), and Jack Harkness (definitely seen). This story might just be a little hard for some people to chew, so read cautiously. Also, just to help you understand the gravity, this is based off of real events in which I was basically this fic’s Jack Harkness.

Also, if I had actual drawing skills instead of just being a maker of tribal-looking paisley patterns, this would be the fic I would draw art for. SO MANY SAD DRAWINGS.

This MIGHT end up being four parts instead of three. I dunno. Shame on me.

More angst, but also some fluff at the end. But mostly angst. Original concept requested by @pianovata

In 1935, physicist Erwin Schrödinger created a theoretical experiment on a paradox of quantum physics, specifically quantum superposition. The experiment theorized a scenario in which a cat is held inside a steel box with a radioactive atom. Whether the cat lived or died was completely dependent upon whether the atom decayed (emitting deadly radiation) or remained stable. Since there is a fifty-fifty chance of either, as long as the cat remains in the box and therefore unobserved by another party, the cat is theoretically both alive and dead at the same time, because neither option can be confirmed or denied until the box is opened. Schrödinger termed this kind of experiment as Verschränkung, which means entanglement.

The Doctor screamed.

He went out. No, he really went out. Not to scream at the skies (well, that hadn’t been the plan), or to exact revenge upon Cybermen (been there, done that). He just went out. Exploring. The Doctor, as usual, but with just a bit more alone-ness than there ought to have been. But that was okay. He needed the alone, because he couldn’t handle togetherness quite yet. Not without you. He thought of going to see Donna and Wilf, but he dismissed the thought when he realized that they would ask where you were. Then they would be mourning too, not to mention that they would both fuss over him horribly. He didn’t want to be fussed over.

He ended up on a planet known for its long nights and amazing night skies. He had been there before, plenty of times, to see the famous stars that danced on blue ink. He had never brought you here, but he had planned to. It was where he wanted to propose to you.

A cliff-side in the middle of fall season was the Doctor’s preferred observation spot. Still warm enough to be comfortable but cold enough that you would have snuggled up against him for warmth. That’s what you would have done. He knew you would have. And you would have liked this place. And you would have liked stargazing with him, and you would have listened while he babbled random trivia about the alien constellations, and whether or not you understood it, you still would have made him feel like the cleverest man in the universe.

Would you have stayed awake all night? He had to wonder, even as he nestled into the soft grass that smelled like pine so that he could gaze up at the glittering sky. Or would you have fallen asleep with your head on his shoulder? And if that had happened, would he have stayed there with you until morning so that you could wake under the planet’s vibrant sunrises, or would he have carried you back to the TARDIS and tucked you in?

A tear rolled down the side of the Doctor’s face and got caught in his sideburn, tickling wetly against his skin. He harshly pawed at his face to rid himself of the sticky tear-track, but even as he did, his eyes stung with fresh tears that burned and welled up and out so that they could streak hotly against his skin.

His lip was wobbling, he realized. His whole face was folding, squinting, trying to rid itself of tears that burned his eyes and were too hot for his skin. The stars above him blurred and he turned onto his side and curled into the fetal position, pressing his face into his sleeves.

“Stop it!” he gasped harshly on a sobbing exhale, humiliated as the tears poured freely and made his sleeves damp. “Stop it, damn you!”

The TARDIS sang a mourning song and the Doctor screamed.

Out, said the TARDIS, out, out, out, out.

“No,” snapped the Doctor, scratching at the stubble on his chin that had grown unchecked in his negligence. “No.”


The Doctor threaded his fingers through his limp, un-groomed hair. His tie was askew, falling off, his clothes were rumpled and unwashed, and there was still blood on his jacket from where you had gotten a nasty cut on the forehead and he had used his jacket to stop the bleeding. He hadn’t meant to let himself fall so completely to pieces, but it had just been so easy to forget, especially without you there to remind him. He hadn’t eaten since… before. Before when, he wasn’t sure, but it had been long enough that the hunger pains had stopped and he no longer felt it. The empty space in his gut was gone, too. It had tightened up and swallowed itself. The idea of eating made him fell a bit sick.


“No, you stupid machine.”

He had been doing better. He really had. But his most recent breakdown had left him worse off than before.


The TARDIS turned on every single alarm that she had until the Doctor was forced to leave in order to escape the noise.

Her name was River Song. When she saw him, she gasped, pressing her hand to her painted mouth as her eyes filled with shine. It was pity and it was terrible and the Doctor hated it. He knew he looked a fright. He had shaved, yes, and gotten his suit into halfway-decent shape, but the shadows under his eyes were dark, like he had taken a few hits, and his skin was pasty and clinging and that the hollows of his cheeks and the spaces between his ribs had drawn in, making him look like he ought to be on a mortician’s slab.

She hugged him, held him close, and he struggled away. He was not for her. He was for you. She didn’t get to hold him that way. And it hurt. Her hands traveled down his sides, stinging the red lines where he had dug his nails into his skin and dragged them across the dipping planes of his sunken ribcage.

That wasn’t the worst part of their meeting.

Professor Song whispered a name in his ear, and it was your name. The secret one, the Gallifreyan one that he had given to you when he decided that he wanted to marry you, the one that he whispered in your ear like a prayer, the one that he taught you how to say so that one day you would have an easier time pronouncing his true name. (Because he wanted to tell you, he wanted, he wanted, he wanted.) She shouldn’t have said that name, it wasn’t for her, and hearing it on the lips of someone other than you or himself made his empty gut twist painfully.

How do you know that name?" He was on the edge of the Oncoming Storm, right on the edge, waiting to fall and become rage and fury incarnate. It would be so easy. He was already falling. "How the hell do you know that name?!”

She smirked at him even as she prepared for her own death (and she was just like that, wasn’t she, that brokenhearted creature who prodded at the empty spaces of his body and just knew?). The death that should have been his. The death that he wanted. She was taking it like she expected no less. "Shouldn’t I know it?“

"That was the name I gave her,” he snarled, torn between hate and despair as she stole a secret that was his but then took it to her early grave of sacrifice in his place. "No one else knows that name, no one!“

She knows it,“ River said.

"She’s dead, damn you!”

There was a great deal of fuss after that. Handcuffs were definitely involved. He insisted, screamed, that time could be rewritten, that this could all be undone, that she could live if only she would just listen to him, but she didn’t listen.

“River, NO!”

“Goodbye, sweetie. You’ll see me again.”

She didn’t listen.

The Doctor didn’t like interventions. They were usually helpful to him, in the end, but while they happened, they could be very unpleasant and certainly unwelcome. Especially when they came from people who cared more about him than they cared about his privacy.

And if there was one thing Jack Harkness didn’t give a darn about, it was privacy.

“You’re a mess,” Jack said. He was in Captain Mode, the Doctor noticed with a painful prickle of irritation running up and down his spine and around his torso. “What the hell, Doc?”

“Get off my TARDIS,” the Doctor muttered, pulling away.

“Your TARDIS called me,” Jack said, tone not allowing for any measure of nonsense. The Doctor scowled, but Jack frowned right back at him. “I thought you were in trouble. I didn’t think you’d be this.”

The Doctor swayed on his feet for a moment, empty and cut under his suit. He felt scabs break and weep thin creases of blood into his skin, following rusty trails of blood that had run and dried in the days before. He reeked of blood, and it made his head spin and he flung himself forward, knocking into Jack’s side.

Jack took the blow and didn’t fall. The Doctor had no strength, no weight, and his whole body falling against Jack was nothing to the captain. The Doctor bit and scratched uselessly, trembling fists batting at Jack, while Jack wrapped one arm around the Doctor’s skinny middle and hauled.

“I’m not your punching bag,” Jack grunted, slapping the Doctor’s fists away as he dragged the smaller man out of the console room. “Just because you’re angry. Where’s your girlfriend, huh? Because if you tried to dump her for her own good, we are going right back and getting her, mister. Pray that she takes your miserable ass back after all the bull you’ve put her through.”

The Doctor whined like a broken electronic shutting down, curling his fingers into the captain’s coat.

“C'mon. How long has it been since you ate?”

“Dunno,” the Doctor murmured.

Jack kicked the door to the kitchen without waiting for the TARDIS to open it, dragging the Doctor at his side as the lights flickered on, dim and gentle. The Doctor dropped limply into a chair, supporting himself on the small dining table, while Jack pushed him into a position that might be more comfortable. He gripped the Doctor’s jaw gently, examining the hollowed face and cringing at what he found.

“You’re dehydrated,” Jack said sharply, scolding, like a worrisome mother who had caught her child playing in the snow without a coat. The Doctor didn’t respond.

The Doctor choked when Jack pressed something into his mouth and suddenly there was water, cold and crisp and filling his throat without being invited. He gagged, spewing water back up and allowing it to dribble out the side of his mouth, before his body suddenly remembered what water was like and how much he needed it. He swallowed greedily, burning his unused throat before soothing it with cool softness. Jack dabbed the spilled water off of his face, gentle, gentle, gentle with the spindly leftovers of what was once a great man.

“What happened, Doc?” Jack asked when the Doctor had finally had his fill of water. The Doctor huffed out small puffs of breath as the water soothed his insides, like a wash over a dirty floor. The dust in his systems was being cleared out.

“She’s gone,” the Doctor rasped.

The color drained from Jack’s face. His mouth opened, closed, opened again, and gasped silently like a fish as his knees trembled. He shook once, violently, before he reached out and gripped the Doctor’s bony arm with all the force of a vice. The Doctor whimpered and Jack immediately released his hold, snatching his hand back like the Doctor’s arm had become a snake.

“… How?” asked Jack.

The Doctor exhaled heavily. “Cybermen.”

Jack hissed angrily. “Did she… did she become one of them or did they… did they delete…?”

“I don’t….” The Doctor curled even further into himself than he already was, drawing his knees up to his chest. “I don’t know.”

At this, Jack stilled. He tilted his head to the side, eyes lighting up oddly. “You don’t… know.”


“You mean you didn’t see her die.”

“They took her away!” The Doctor snapped. “She couldn’t have escaped, she-”

“Nuh-uh!” Jack cut the Doctor off, jumping a little bit on his heels before he knelt face-to-face in front of the Doctor. “So in all likeliness, she’s dead.”

The Doctor snarled.

“Okay,” Jack continued, “but you didn’t see-”

The Doctor rallied strength that he shouldn’t have had and smacked Jack across the face.

“She’s dead, Jack,” the Doctor whimpered, withdrawing as Jack rubbed the red side of his otherwise perfect face. “She’s dead and I don’t know how they did it but I know it hurt her and I know she was afraid and I know she probably died wondering why I didn’t come to save her and I don’t want to know any more.”

Jack stared. The Doctor stared back, brown eyes unable to shed tears.

And then a small smile graced Jack’s face. “Now, Doc, I’m surprised at you. You’re always talking about what a superior Time Lord you are, but you didn’t think of Schrödinger’s cat. Shame one you.”

The Doctor blinked rapidly. “What?”

“Schrödinger’s. Cat.” Jack booped the Doctor on the nose. “Y'know. With equal chances of death and survival, the cat is theoretically both alive and dead as long as it remains unobserved?”

“I know what Schrödinger’s Cat is, Jack, but I don’t-”

“Ah-ah-ah!” Jack scolded. “You didn’t see the cat. The cat is dead, but it is also alive. And this would be completely inapplicable, however… I have a Vortex Manipulator, and you have a big Time Machine. Schrödinger would be insanely jealous.”

Jack jumped up to his feet, bouncing as he went, and snatched a banana off of the counter, which he tossed to the Doctor. The Doctor caught it, barely, and couldn’t seem to decide if he wanted to look at Jack or the banana.

“You eat at least three bites of that before I get back,” Jack said firmly, pointing at the banana.

The Doctor cocked an eyebrow at the captain.

“No arguments,” said Jack. “I assume the coordinates of the tragic separation are still in the TARDIS computer?”

The Doctor nodded.

“Good. Off I go, don’t wait up for me, and please eat something. I would hate to have to force-feed you, but that doesn’t been I won’t do it, Doctor!”

And then Jack bolted from the room, leaving a very confuddled Doctor behind with no clue of what was going on. And a banana.

The only way around the plot hole created by Extremis

(Needless to say this will have spoilers for Extremis. However the “huge plot hole” is not part of the overall plot of the episode so I’m not blowing any real spoiler by having that headline.)

So I get back from my holiday to see Extremis and sadly I am now convinced that Moffat has decided to retcon Clara out of the show’s history. News I am sure will make certain fans overjoyed (I wouldn’t be so upset if certain individuals on Twitter and elsewhere weren’t being jerks about all this).

Missy had one job. The last time she saw the Doctor he was with Clara on Skaro. She even mentions the Daleks. All she had to do was ask “Where’s Clara?” That’s it.  If she had asked that one question, given “my condolences” there would actually be no need for any further references. The River reference was totally unnecessary. Especially since it was followed immediately by the Nardole origin which was a major River reference. It was redundant to have Missy even bring it up.

Now, to have Nardole bring up River makes sense. I’ve been saying for a long time that she had him go to take care of the Doctor. OK, whatever, just like the “who’s in the vault?” question another theory confirmed. But Missy forgetting about Clara is a plot hole so big you could drive Jupiter through it.

There is only one way to work my head around this and that is to come up with a head canon.

And here is is:

Clara didn’t just erase the Doctor’s memory of her. She erased everyone’s memory of her. Just like Oswin Oswald did to the Daleks.

That is the only way I can see this working. Next week’s episode has UNIT. But you know that no one’s going to bring up Clara - even though she was powerful enough to have access to the Black Archive. Missy didn’t mention Clara because she no longer remembers her. There is even precedent for this in the expanded universe: last summer’s Supremacy of the Cybermen comic miniseries from Titan was a direct sequel to Hell Bent. It featured Rassilon, Ohila, the female incarnation of the General. Not a single character made reference to Clara. There is also supposed to be a BBC Audio book featuring the Twelfth Doctor meeting Ohila. I’m willing to bet there will be no Clara reference there either. I get that the Doctor wouldn’t remember Clara. That was the whole point of the finale last year. He doesn’t remember being in love with her, etc. He defaulted to the relationship that was in play before he met her, and that was River. I don’t have a problem with Nardole dropping River’s name. But when Missy seems to have the same memory block, that raises a question.

This is the only way I can see it working. The only way I can work around the fact Missy didn’t mention Clara is if Clara, when she messed about with the neuroblock, managed to erase everyone’s memory of her (except Ashildr’s - probably because of her healing factor).

PS. What about the episode itself? To be honest it didn’t do much for me. Some interesting concepts but I really need to see the whole storyline before I pass judgement. 

anonymous asked:

River Song for the character thing?

  • First impression

See, Time of Angels was like, the second episode of DW I properly watched bc I was being shown the Weeping Angels, so with my bad memory I’m assuming it was confusion, but “she seems cool”. 

  • Impression now

I think she’s genuinely my favourite character in the DW universe other than the Doctor. She’s my morally questionable but good at heart wife and I adore her more than words could ever say. 

I think a lot of people don’t appreciate just how much of a standout character she is when you look at female characters in general. 

For a start, she’s an outlier in the ageist/sexist tradition of casting any woman over 40 as a bitch/villain or a mother (River could have been played by a 25 year old with zero difference to the story, but it wouldn’t have been the same, we all know that, they cast Alex and she’s perfect). She’s mature and badass and owns her sexuality. 

And then you have the fact that you just… can’t put her in a box. 

She’s allowed to take charge and flirt and lie and cry and make mistakes and grow, and she’s cruel and kind and cold and warm and playful and lethal and determined loves fiercely and would murder certain kinds of people without a second thought, and she’s able to be all of those things at once and have it still make sense. 

She’s stripped of her agency from birth and spends her life taking it back and creating herself, living on her terms and being no less than the woman she wants to be. 

Also, she’s a great example of a bi/pan character being in a committed relationship and being no less committed for being bi/pan. (Like, alright, anyone with sense knows that it’s an open marriage and that River is obviously very poly, something the show itself does lowkey acknowledge, but really it’s just about as plausible to consider that the marriage IS monogamous as it is to consider that it isn’t, so she’s kind of simultaneously poly representation and committed bi/pan representation,in a way, especially since being poly doesn’t make her less committed anyway, since her devotion to the Doctor is never in doubt.) 

  • Favorite moment

Oh god, there’s far too many. I think her speech from Husbands of River Song will always win, though, the “[loving the Doctor] is like loving the stars themselves, you don’t expect a sunset to admire you back”. 

In addition to just being beautiful in the moment and the reveal that came after, it also sheds a whole new light on her character that had only been hinted at before, the realisation that all this time, she’s never believed he loves her back. That she has, in words of a later episode, without hope, without witness, without reward, loved him all that time, because that’s her truth. 

Her moment of realising it’s him, realising that god, maybe he does love her back, is just so incredible. 

  • Idea for a story

Anything about Darillium is always fun, or things that involve her flirting with ladies. I’m working on a thing with her and the Doom Coalition audios companion Helen, because they’re really beautiful and gay together and I have a lot of feelings. 

  • Unpopular opinion

I mean I know a lot of people have dumb opinions about River but I’m pretty sure most of what I’ve already said goes against those, so… yeah. Haters can hate but they’re missing out on one of the best female characters to ever exist in Doctor Who ever so… their loss, really. 

  • Favorite relationship

Her and the Doctor, obviously. What a fucking power couple did you see how quickly they jumped into action in THoRS once she knew who he was? 

I’ll never be over them, frankly, because they’re heartbreaking from the beginning but also fun and silly and adorable and passionate and devoted and I just…. they cover almost all the bases you could possibly want, they’re hot and cute and silly all at once. 

(Runners up are River and her parents, and River/Helen(/Liv) in Doom Coalition bc g a y c u t i e s

  • Favorite headcanon

Her numerous wives, including Benny, Clara, Helen, Liv, and Quill. (I’d say Missy but like, they’d just murder each other probably imo, lmao)

She 100% helped Helen Sinclair come to terms with being a lesbian and is very soft with her 1960′s wife okay that’s very important to me. 

this got super long but I love River Song so so so so much like fcuk there will never be enough words she’s so important

“She’s read all the stories from a strange blue book she found in the beasts library, she’d never expect those stories would be true. Especially when she stumbled across a peculiar blue box.”

Reasons for why I want the RTD companions and/or the Ninth Doctor to meet the Twelfth Doctor:

·      To call him out on his indifference to other people’s lives.

·      Also to call him out on his behaviour towards Clara, and remind him to treat her with more respect.

·      To tell him to take a bloody look in the mirror (AKA remind him of his actions during his eleventh incarnation and other errors in current one, like when he had the whole human race commit genocide without them being aware of it).

·      To remind him that there are other, far more peaceful ways to sort out everything.


·      To make him apologize to River for how he treated her and perhaps let her out of prison considering she didn’t commit the crime she’s in there for (I’m looking at you, Moffat. I’m looking right at you).

·      I’d love for Martha or Donna or Rose to yell some sense into him. I especially think a reunion with Rose would make him put his recent actions in perspective and make him at least try to work with his issues.

·      As for the Ninth Doctor, I want him to verbally attack the man like Danny did in series 8 (honestly, Danny was one of the only things I liked about that season and we all know where he ended up). Considering Nine being far closer to the events of the Time War than Twelve, he would certainly be angry with how he turned out after just a few regenerations.

·      One thing I want but at the same time don’t want is for Wilfred to come. It would be quite the eye-opener to see Twelve after he’s “magically” solved some issue with his current tactics and then have him turn his head and see Wilfred in the background, a look of heartbreak in his eyes and shaking his head. It would hurt like hell, but I honestly think it’s what we need to put the Doctor in his place.

…Buuuuuut this will probably not matter anyway since Moffat has shown little to no signs of taking in criticism of his writing and continues to sugar-coat his Doctor’s violent actions and the show’s general plot-holes with wibbly wobbly timey wimey….

The Doctor's Wives



Amy Pond: How come you can fly the TARDIS?
River Song: Oh, I had lessons from the very best.
The Doctor: [Looking smug] Well, yeah.
River Song: It’s a shame you were busy that day.

Well if the Doctor did not teach River, then who did? Clara, maybe…

Work Text:

Clara recalls very clearly the first time the Chin tried to teach her how to drive his Tardis… even if she was not supposed to remember that day and the Tardis had hated her back then. 

Anyhow, she remembers it (because of course he won’t remember it anymore). 

She also recalls all of the lessons she received afterwards when she had already jumped into the Doctor’s timeline and the Tardis started to like her. And how these increased after his regeneration, in case he forgot how to drive the Tardis yes again. 

And know, she can actually use these skills.

Because now she is running in her very own Tardis with her own companion on her way to Gallifrey, the long way ‘round…

They are on one of their many adventures through time and space when it happens, River Song meets Clara Oswald and her companion, Ashildr, for the first time in some planet in some constellation far away. 

Of course, at first it’s awkward and it requires a lot of explaining on Clara’s and Ashildr’s part to make River understand the whole tale. And they decide that three could easily be a lot more fun then two and so Clara asks:

“So… all of time and space, everything that ever happened or ever will… where do you want to start?" 

And then its the three of them for a while. The girl who has one heartbeat left, the girl who cannot die, and the girl who is already dead to the Doctor. 

And Clara drives and uses the sonic sunglasses. And River explains and uses her sonic. And Ashildr writes their stories down, for their adventures are the stuff of legends. 

Yet one day, their Tardis gets attacked and they struggle to get away and Clara realizes something key, they other two still are not trained to drive it.

And Clara remembers what her grumpy Doctor had muttered one day, something about River knowing how to pilot the Tardis. And so she asks:

"What do you say about learning how to drive this thing?" 

"Really, now?” Ashildr grumps out, trying to hold on tight to the shaky Tardis.

“No, obviously not now, but after we kick their asses,” Clara responds.

“Sure, why not? I’d love to show the Doctor some new moves,” River answers from post at the Door as she shoots at the enemy. 

When they have to drop River off a few adventures afterwards, it is a sad day for all. Especially when Clara has to remind her to never mention any of them, especially Clara for the Doctor must never know. But at least, this time around she’d have new moves to show that idiot Doctor’s of theirs…

Amy Pond: How come you can fly the TARDIS?

River Song: [grins] Oh, I had lessons from the very best…

The Doctor: [Looking smug] Well, yeah.

River Song: It’s a shame you were busy that day. 

River does hope somewhere out there Clara can laugh about it.


(Very Late) Steven Moffat Appreciation Week
Day 4: Favourite theme

There was a goblin, or a trickster, or a warrior. A nameless, terrible thing, soaked in the blood of a billion galaxies. The most feared being in all the cosmos. And nothing could stop it, or hold it, or reason with it. One day it would just drop out of the sky and tear down your world.

Keep reading

Favorite Malec Fanfics #2

It’s crazy how many amazing writers there are in this fandom, that’s why I have found a bunch of new amazing fanfics I wanted to feature in this.

Disclaimer: Yes I read smut and have no problem with it, so if you do, please don’t read those fics.

You can find my first Favorite Malec Fanfics recommendations post here

What are we 

This is one of those lovely fake relationship AU’s which despite them being a cliché are really really good. Alec works for his father’s company and Magnus is working in the law department of said company. When the Lightwood family leaves for a family trip, Alec doesn’t want to be the only one that doesn’t bring a s/o, so he asks Magnus to be his fake boyfriend for the duration of the trip… and so the story unfolds. Give it a try, if you’re as into those AU’s as I am.

Rating: Explicit

Status: Completed

Set Me In Motion by @lemonoclefox

Alec’s boyfriend lives across the floor from Magnus. That’s how Magnus and Alec meet and quickly become friends. And they might have feelings for each other that are more than friendship… we’ll have to see…

Rating: Mature

Status: WIP 

Now I’ll never be the same, it’s you and me until the end

Okay, this is pure smut. But I love the way it’s written. That’s all.

Actually, everything from this user is amazing, so you can find the rest of their work here (all of those are pure smut, sorry xD)

Rating: (obviously) Explicit

I Won’t Let You Fall by @jezthemadficster

Malec dance AU. Alec is a rising star in the ballett world and Magnus is an amazing freestyle hip-hop dancer. They attend the same school but don’t really know each other. Until one day they literally bump into each other and from then on the story unfolds.

Rating: Mature

Status: WIP (but the chapters have all a very length to them)

If I Tremble by @aleclwb

Alec is a deputy U.S. Marshall and has to protect Magnus Bane. They have to go into a witness protection program and pretend to be newly weds that just moved into the neighbourhood. Of course they fall in love with each other but the entire time there is the threat lurking in the background, that someone might want to get rid of Magnus and all that he knows.

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

Status: WIP

It’s Our Paradise, It’s Our War Zone by  @shad0w-writer

Just a nice one shot with fighting Malec and some make-up sex.

Rating: Explicit (duh xD)

We Make Our Own Home by @swans-hooks-and-books

Magnus is a doctor and takes on the infamous case of prince Robert Lightwood who after an accident is left in a wheelchair but refuses to try to regain his ability to walk. What Magnus didn’t expect was to fall in love… not only with the lightwood family but especially with Alec, Robert’s son.

Rating: Mature

Status: WIP

I am fire… I am drunk series by @lecrit

Drunk Alec. This series is so damn funny! I had to laugh out loud countless times!

Hold Back The River by @lecrit

Malec friends with benefits AU. But of course they fall for each other completely eventually.

Basically, I love everything that’s written by @lecrit, so take a look at her stuff, it is absolutely amazing!

Rating: Mature

A collection of Shadowhunters headcanons by @theonetruenorth

This is a nice mixture of different Malec one shots, some smut, some fluff, but all are lovely written. Give it a try.

I Will Let The Wind Go Quietly

Magnus owns a bakery and is a total workaholic. Until one day one of his clerks, Clary, pulls in a busker from the street, his name is Alec Lightwood…

Rating: Explicit

Status: WIP

“No, unlike Alice, I don’t sit in a pool of tears. Not when there are tombs to be uncovered, crimes to be solved, Doctors to be rescued… and married. Look at us. Marooning ancient powers at the dawn of time, disbanding corrupt societies of secret dictators, and we didn’t even get to meet for tea. What would I have said to you if we had? Young, doing what you can amidst that terrible war. Don’t be afraid? The future will take care of itself? No, there are things you always know. Don’t stop being you, perhaps. Only you have to, so you can become my Doctor. But that’s all in the past. Or is it the future? So hard to tell these days. Until next time, my love, orevwa.”

                    -  The final words of River from Big Finish’s The Diary of River Song

Know what I hate within the Doctor Who community. 

Unfounded and arbitrary bashing of the RTD era. Especially when it’s done to point out the Moffat era’s alleged superiority.

Don’t get me wrong. I love the Moffat era too and find the unfounded and arbitrary bashing of his era, especially to put across the RTD era’s alleged superiority, also toxic bullshit.

The hard truth that the oh so enlightened Doctor Who fanbase never wants to really admit is that actually both eras a really good but in very different ways. Even stuff like ‘Well this era did emotion better’ is really fucking stupid because there isn’t a hard standard metric for doing emotion in stories correctly. I mean yes you can do it wrong sure, but there isn’t ONE way to do it. Moffat goes for something more reserved and RTD went in for something more hedonistic. And BOTH work for different reasons and in different contexts. For the RTD era for example that approach was taken because it was aggressively trying to provide a counterbalance to the onslaught of dreary, apocalyptic depressing misery bombarded at children and teenagers during the mid-late 2000s.

Speaking as someone who grew up bombarded by media about 9/11, the war in Iraq, the fake Weapons of Mass Destruction, the crooked President and Prime Minister, unemployment, NHS shortages and how at the end of the day all of that shit was eclipsed by the world being on a ticking time bomb to oblivion because of global warming, this approach was appreciated.

Having a show that directly and repeatedly told you that actually you can be positive, the world isn’t going to end and there are really drop dead wonderful things in it and a lot of those wonderful things are normal everyday stuff, that humans do not in fact inherently such but are on balance inspiring and did all of this completely sincerely was an immensely powerful antidote to the cynical, apathetic and pessimistic narrative being pushed by…basically everything else.

And most of that came from a gay man, born in the 1960s, who had a mentally ill mother and at one point had a serious drug overdose.

So when I hear criticisms like ‘Well in the RTD era really every companion got punished for travelling with the Doctor’ I grinds my gears.

Keep reading

Just Imagine 14. Let me be brave

Doctor Who and LoT are very similar shows. Both of them made me cry from my heart. Especially River Song/Leonard Snart paralells. That`s why i`m pretty sure we may see Len`s past in Lot.

I’d like to see the teenage Leo (Dylan O'Brien for cast is more then ok): frightened, confused, broken, not knowing what to do in the adult world with baby sister on his hands. And The Team accidentally helps him to find his path.. criminal path..

So.. just imagine. The team goes to 80s and meets young boy. Rip and Sara are undercover as a doctor and a nurse and they treat boy`s wounds in ER. At first they don`t exactly know him (he told fake name).

He is beaten. Hard..(by his father)

They see a lot of scars on his body. He doesn’t talk much about the nature of his injuries only that he’s protecting someone. Ex-assassin and ex-TimeMaster tell him that he needs to be strong and brave and fight back.

Sometimes you just have to fight against the world…… 

                                               ……even become bad person…… to survive

Later they find out who he really is.. but it`s too late .. he already took Lisa from their father and becomes the criminal Snart.. and so the Legends team was always the reason (one of) why he started his crimal path and what partly made him who he is…

SaraWe pushed him for this life

Rip: No…we pushed him to fight for his life