and dysfunctional friendships

She can get through anything. Heartbreak. Ended friendships. Dysfunctional family fights.

Whenever the world hurts her, she fakes a smile and keeps on going as if nothing happened. As if she’s perfectly fine. As if her heart is unbreakable.

She looks strong. But she doesn’t feel strong. She feels like she’s living a lie, like everyone gives her more credit than she deserves.

After all, everybody only thinks she’s strong, because they see a single side of her. They see her during the day, when she has enough energy to pretend. But they don’t see her at night, alone in her bedroom, when she’s too tired to outrun her problems.

She never lets anyone catch her when she’s vulnerable.

When she has the urge to cry, she pushes the tears away until she has a chance to escape to the bathroom to let the water flow. When she’s upset, she’ll make up an excuse to cancel her plans, so no one realizes that she’s acting off. And when she has a mental breakdown, she doesn’t text her friends about it or post a Facebook status. She suffers in silence.

She doesn’t see the point in sharing her misery. Her friends consider her the funny one. The bubbly one. The problem solver. They come to her with their issues. They expect her to know what to do. They expect her to have her shit together.

So she nods and offers consolation when they complain about their near-perfect lives, even though she wants to scream that they don’t know what real problems are. That she’s dealing with something a million times worse.

But she doesn’t let herself explode. She listens. She understands. She tries to be a good friend.

And when she’s in public, when people are around, it’s not all that hard to put her problems aside. She’s gotten used to it.

But the second she gets in her car, the second she’s out of view of the rest of the world, all of her problems come crashing down around her.

She hates long drives alone in the car, just as much as she hates midnight thoughts. She hates being stuck in her own mind — because it’s a dangerous place.

It’s a place where she’s convinced she’s behind in life. She’s unsuccessful. She’s ugly. She’s stupid. She’s going to die alone. She’s going to die without fulfilling any of her dreams.

Even though she looks strong, even though she is strong, her fears won’t leave her alone. They follow her home every night, into her bedroom, into her dreams.

And they make her feel small. Worthless. Useless.

She hates that the rest of the world sees her as one thing, as a beautiful independent woman, while she sees herself as something else entirely. As a fake.

She doesn’t realize that she’s as strong as iron, because she keeps going. She’s strong, because she still has hope. She’s strong, because she’s capable of smiling through the pain.

She’s strong, because she’s still alive, even though she’s witnessed how cruel this world can be.

-Holly Riordan

youtube

AMV of the Evening: the only Berserk AMV in existence that doesn’t shave an unbearably awful soundtrack and/or fetishize Casca’s rape Wolves (Act II) by  Femto Fantasy

The “Act II” bit doesn’t refer to any sort of narrative material beyond what was featured in the Wolves AMV I’ve posted previously. This is a more refined version of the AMV that adds a bit more nuance by shifting the focus a teeny bit more towards the dysfunctional friendship between Griffith and Guts. In any case, the imagery and music are gorgeous and evocative. 


Enjoy!

this is why such strong girls feel so broken inside

she can get through anything. heartbreak. ended friendships. dysfunctional family fights.

whenever the world hurts her, she fakes a smile and keeps on going as if nothing happened. as if she’s perfectly fine. as if her heart is unbreakable.

she looks strong. but she doesn’t feel strong. she feels like she’s living a lie, like everyone gives her more credit than she deserves.

after all, everybody only thinks she’s strong, because they see a single side of her. they see her during the day, when she has enough energy to pretend. but they don’t see her at night, alone in her bedroom, when she’s too tired to outrun her problems.

she never lets anyone catch her when she’s vulnerable.

when she has the urge to cry, she pushed the tears away until she has a chance to escape to the bathroom to let the water flow.when she’s upset, she’ll make up an excuse to cancel her plans, so no one realizes that she’s acting off. and when she has a mental breakdown, she doesn’t text her friends about it or post a facebook status. she suffers in silence.

she doesn’t see the point in sharing her misery. her friends consider her the funny one. the bubbly one. the problem solver. they come to her with their issues. they expect her to know what to do. they expect her to have her shit together.

so she nods and offers consolation when they complain about their near-perfect lives, even though she wants to scream that they don’t know what real problems are. that she’s dealing with something a million times worse.

but she doesn’t let herself explode. she listens. she understands. she tries to be a good friend.

and when she’s in public, when people are around, it’s not all that hard to put her problems aside. she’s gotten used to it.

but the second she gets in her car, the second she’s out of view of the rest of the world, all of her problems come crashing down around her.

she hates long drives alone in the car, just as much as she hates midnight thoughts. she hates being stuck in her own mind - because it’s a dangerous place. 

it’s a place where she’s convinced she’s behind in life. she’s unsuccessful. she’s ugly. she’s stupid. she’s going to die alone. she’s going to die without fulfilling any of her dreams.

even though she looks strong, even though she is strong, her fears won’t leave her alone. they follow her home every night, into her bedroom, into her dreams.

and they make her feel small. worthless. useless.

she hates that the rest of the world sees her as one thing, as a beautiful independent woman, while she sees herself as something else entirely. as a fake.

she doesn’t realize that she’s as strong as iron, because she keeps going. she’s strong, because she still has hope. she’s strong, because she’s capable of smiling through the pain.

she’s strong, because she’s alive, even though she’s witnessed how cruel this world can be.

anonymous asked:

erica

oh this dork??? ok so our friendship officially started when i was in new york and it was raining so i just stayed in my hotel room and the only thing on tv was supernatural and i remembered that erica liked supernatural so i texted her something like ERICA WHY IS THERE SO MUCH BEHEADING IN SUPERNATURAL and we started texting non-stop for like a week and that was the start of a dorky and dysfunctional emo friendship. flash forward a couple of months later and erica’s sleeping over my house and we’re watching white chicks bc she had never seen it before and we just laughed until our stomachs hurt and that was the start of one of our many inside jokes called “the headbanger”. so flash forward again and she said i can’t write about this but I DO WHAT I WANT and we’re at my house and i’m doing erica’s makeup & hair for OTRA (and she looked bomb that day by that way i only state #facts) and a couple of hours later we’re at the stadium and i’m headbutting kyla while we’re doing a running hug while erica’s recording us being a mess and we got to see the loves of our lives that day except harry kept staying on erica’s side and louis kept staying on my side smh they ain’t loyal. and the second time she visited me at college and we went to an art museum and took lots of pictures bc we’re fake artsy like that then we had dinner with madelyn & i introduced her to brownies with vanilla ice cream and melted chocolate and then we had an adventure at target and slept on my hard ass floor for the night. and then we get to christmas eve 2016 and we’re exchanging cute ass christmas presents and watching the sense8 christmas special and fun fact erica was the first friend i’ve ever brought to church with me except we had to stand the whole time but it’s all good then we just played heads up until she had to go. and we go to now where we’re both at college but still facetiming everyday and doing asks memes reblog ur friendship goals.

Stranger Things. Unintentionally marathoned it twice with two separate groups back-to-back. I want to take 011 and her boys to Disneyworld and buy her Eggos whenever she desires.

Watch it if you love: monsters, monster people, really truly real people, pure purer purest childhood friendship, dysfunctional but loving families, Dungeons & Dragons, 80s music 80s clothes 80s movies, suspenseful mysteries, redemption arcs, Stephen King.

———

mimi nakamura/中村みみ

“Bad Experience” - Prologue

-Prologue

-Chapter 1

-Chapter 2

Series: Steven Universe

Genre: Drama, hurt/comfort

Relationships: Eventual Jasper/Peridot + spoiler-y background/implied pairings

Warnings: Dysfunctional friendships/relationships, fusion-withdrawal having very mild similarities to a few real-life mental disorders, but SFW and fairly G-rated all around. Present tense goes away after a while too, so it’s a win all around.

Summary: Years after Lapis trapped Jasper within Malachite, the fusion is on the verge of forgetting who she used to be. She decides to resurface to clear her head, but finds that the surface world is nothing like how she remembers it.

Author’s note: I know a few people have already adapted the idea I came up with for this comic, but I decided to give it a shot myself as well. Mostly just testing the waters with this one to see if this is a plot/writing style anyone is interested in. If it is, I’ll post the next parts ASAP, if not, well, it was worth a try! I’ll continue writing it for myself either way, but it’s more likely to actually end up finished if other people are interested in it, so we’ll see.

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Keep reading

“Bad Experience” - Chapter 1: Unwanted Epilogues

-Prologue

-Chapter 1: Unwanted Epilogues

-Chapter 2

Series: Steven Universe

Genre: Drama, hurt/comfort

Relationships: Eventual Jasper/Peridot + spoiler-y background/implied pairings

Warnings: Dysfunctional friendships/relationships, fusion-withdrawal having very mild similarities to a few real-life mental disorders, characters having 0 respect for before-mentioned disorder-like states because Homeworld is entirely populated by meaners. SFW though! And still probably technically G-rated!

Summary: Years after Lapis trapped Jasper within Malachite, the fusion is on the verge of forgetting who she used to be. She decides to resurface to clear her head, but finds that the surface world is nothing like how she remembers it.

In this chapter, Peridot finds out what fusion-withdrawal looks like first-hand.

Author’s note: Alriiiight, the prologue was really well received!! Thanks to everyone who reblogged ‘n things! The continuation is less structured than the prologue, but I hope it entertains all the same. I’m certainly having fun. The whole series is officially planned out now and will probably end up being 8-10 chapters long all in all. Updates will be in the tag “su bad experience.” I’ve also personally nicknamed it “the au where everything goes wrong: the movie”

***

Keep reading

“Bad Experience” - Chapter 2: Life in the Crater

-Prologue

-Chapter 1

-Chapter 2: Life in the Crater

Series: Steven Universe

Genre: Drama, hurt/comfort

Relationships: Eventual Jasper/Peridot + spoiler-y background/implied pairings

Warnings: Dysfunctional friendships/relationships, fusion-withdrawal having very mild similarities to a few real-life mental disorders, characters having 0 respect for before-mentioned disorder-like states because Homeworld is entirely populated by meaners. But SFW and technically G-rated?

Summary: Years after Lapis trapped Jasper within Malachite, the fusion is on the verge of forgetting who she used to be. She decides to resurface to clear her head, but finds that the surface world is nothing like how she remembers it.

In this chapter, Peridot receives an urgent message.

Author’s note: World-building exercises? World building exercises. I ask only one thing of you and that thing is that you imagine Carnelian with a very posh fake British accent. also who wants to play spot the side character

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Keep reading