Forgive Me - Part 4
Summery: The reader accepts the job she is offered
Triggers: mentions of torture, the reader has a panic attack, the reader vomits
Word Count: 2300+
A/N: Its very wordy and heavy, sorry. There’s no actual Bucky in this part so enjoy this gif (not mine tho)
Tagging: @helllaellla @bovaria @marvel-ash @marvelfanfichq @givebuckyhisplums2k16 @starstar1012 @fairy-frills @emilypkuzu @annadier @buckystories @shamvictoria11 @feelmyroarrrr @totheendofthelinepal @thelazyorange @creatorofwritings @callingmrsbarnes @whotheeffisbucky @palaiasaurus64 @likochkah @professional-fandoms @james-bionic-barnes @kaiyaisbae @srgtjamesbarnes107
‘How?’ other than being kidnapped by a secret organisation and your family being killed my them you didn’t know much about being a spy.
‘Well you’re clearly very valuable to hydra. You saw the two people that were inaccessible to everyone else.’ He explained. Information must travel fast here because you had only just told Maria about that.
‘But I was only used to fix the Winter Soldier’s arm’
‘Exactly. You’re needed by them. Of course, we will provide basic training. A trained agent will try to join you in there. Training will last for a week and you will be given no physical training, only mental. You will be given a code to follow’
You agreed and they began training you. It was 6AM where you were so you had breakfast shortly after you met the agent who would be mentoring you for the week. Gwen.
‘I know you have been held underground for a while but we can’t let you go outside before your training. Don’t worry, we have plenty of space so hopefully you won’t feel trapped.’
You thanked her for her help. She was very similar to you, looks wise. Your bodies were practically the same, other than her being an MMA expert and her speaking about 15 languages. Every day she would wake you up good and early to teach you the basics of being a spy. She went through how to convert everything you needed to write into code, what to say/do in every situation you could get into, where you had to be and when. Since you were fairly intelligent you learned everything in half the time they had expected so their plan was rushed forward.
It was to get you kidnapped, again. Despite kidnapping being one of the worst experiences to happen to you, they killed your family so you were bringing them down, even if you had to do it beyond the grave.
Some known Hydra operatives had been spotted in a hide out far from the compound you had been held in so you were asked to take a very long walk.
You had been outside for 10 minutes, putting one foot in front of the other, before you realised that this was the first time you had been outside for nearly two weeks. Something about the music playing in your ears and the bright blue of the sky made you forget your situation. It was just for a moment, but it was a moment you wanted to live over again and again. You admired the different shades of green that grew around you. The life. The nature. Every tree, bush and plant was do diverse. You traced the shape of every leaf that surrounded you and you soon forgot where you were walking. Auto pilot took over so you could concentrate on making images from the cotton cloud in the sky. You’re eyes stayed up and you felt small compared to the great expanse of the world. You also felt small compared to the two large figures that walked up to you and a third put his hand around your mouth. You felt that familiar scent of chemicals and it all went black. Here we go again.