and did i mention i am in an eternal state of cry

Forgive Me - Part 4

Summery: The reader accepts the job she is offered

Triggers: mentions of torture, the reader has a panic attack, the reader vomits 

Word Count: 2300+

A/N: Its very wordy and heavy, sorry. There’s no actual Bucky in this part so enjoy this gif (not mine tho)

Tagging: @helllaellla @bovaria @marvel-ash @marvelfanfichq @givebuckyhisplums2k16 @starstar1012 @fairy-frills @emilypkuzu  @annadier @buckystories @shamvictoria11 @feelmyroarrrr @totheendofthelinepal @thelazyorange @creatorofwritings @callingmrsbarnes @whotheeffisbucky @palaiasaurus64  @likochkah  @professional-fandoms @james-bionic-barnes @kaiyaisbae @srgtjamesbarnes107 

“Forgive Me” Masterlist | Masterlist

Originally posted by pxggycxrters

‘Double agent?!’


‘How?’ other than being kidnapped by a secret organisation and your family being killed my them you didn’t know much about being a spy.

‘Well you’re clearly very valuable to hydra. You saw the two people that were inaccessible to everyone else.’ He explained. Information must travel fast here because you had only just told Maria about that.

‘But I was only used to fix the Winter Soldier’s arm’

‘Exactly. You’re needed by them. Of course, we will provide basic training. A trained agent will try to join you in there. Training will last for a week and you will be given no physical training, only mental. You will be given a code to follow’

You agreed and they began training you. It was 6AM where you were so you had breakfast shortly after you met the agent who would be mentoring you for the week. Gwen.

‘I know you have been held underground for a while but we can’t let you go outside before your training. Don’t worry, we have plenty of space so hopefully you won’t feel trapped.’

You thanked her for her help. She was very similar to you, looks wise. Your bodies were practically the same, other than her being an MMA expert and her speaking about 15 languages. Every day she would wake you up good and early to teach you the basics of being a spy. She went through how to convert everything you needed to write into code, what to say/do in every situation you could get into, where you had to be and when. Since you were fairly intelligent you learned everything in half the time they had expected so their plan was rushed forward.

It was to get you kidnapped, again. Despite kidnapping being one of the worst experiences to happen to you, they killed your family so you were bringing them down, even if you had to do it beyond the grave.

Some known Hydra operatives had been spotted in a hide out far from the compound you had been held in so you were asked to take a very long walk.

You had been outside for 10 minutes, putting one foot in front of the other, before you realised that this was the first time you had been outside for nearly two weeks. Something about the music playing in your ears and the bright blue of the sky made you forget your situation. It was just for a moment, but it was a moment you wanted to live over again and again. You admired the different shades of green that grew around you. The life. The nature. Every tree, bush and plant was do diverse. You traced the shape of every leaf that surrounded you and you soon forgot where you were walking. Auto pilot took over so you could concentrate on making images from the cotton cloud in the sky. You’re eyes stayed up and you felt small compared to the great expanse of the world. You also felt small compared to the two large figures that walked up to you and a third put his hand around your mouth. You felt that familiar scent of chemicals and it all went black. Here we go again.

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Star Kisses. [James T. Kirk Oneshot.]

A/N: I’m not going to lie, I intended this to be a 500 word thing, but woop it ended up being over 2,000 yikes.
I hope you guys like it, it’s actually my first official piece for Kirk. :) I’m kinda excited.
Reblogs and likes are appreciated, as is feedback!

Originally posted by themagicthatsme

Title: Star Kisses.
Pairing: Captain James T. Kirk x Female!Reader.
Words: 2319.
Rating: T.

“Here,” Kirk urged and sat a shot glass in front of you. It was full, to the very brim and a few drops of it landed on his fingers and landed silently on the bar table in front of you, “it’s on me.” The smile he gave you was charming enough to make your heart flutter inside of your chest.

“Thank you, Captain.” You replied and gazed down at the light brown liquid in the shot glass.

The smile on his face faltered ever so slightly at the name you had chosen to call him, his hand bringing his drink to his full lips so he could take a drink. Jim chuckled behind the glass before setting it down once again, this time, with a small ‘pat’ as it made contact with the oak counter. “You know, you don’t need to call me Captain right now. We’re not on duty.” Emphasizing his words, he nodded his head and looked at you.

This was very correct, but earlier this evening, you still found yourself surrounded by people like Pavel, Scotty, Leonard, Spock and Uhura, all of whom had already left, leaving you alone with the Captain. And as right as he was, you couldn’t find it in yourself to call him by anything else. He was your Captain, and you had forever called him that since you met him nearly three years ago. Prior to that, you had heard things about him while at Starfleet Academy, but you didn’t have the glorious opportunity of meeting him until you were assigned to the Enterprise, under the Science division. You had been working rather closely with Leonard, and in turn, Captain Kirk, since your time aboard, and had heard things from Leonard himself.

Pushing back what he had told you, that being “Jim is a womanizer, I wouldn’t think about getting too close”, you picked your shot up, and downed it. The alcohol burned at your throat as it slid down, and for a second, you scrunched your face up and sighed. It wasn’t an awful taste, but it was stronger than you had anticipated. The rush of drinking it lit up your senses momentarily as you were tugged back into reality by the drawl of his deep voice.

“You can call me Jim.”  He swallowed another drink, but you hadn’t even noticed that he picked up his glass again and was now waving it, signaling the bartender that he wanted another. His jaw clenched, the muscles there contracting in front of your eyes. The lighting that bounced off his skin was giving the appearance of godliness, illuminating his sharp features, the curve of his mouth, which curled mischievously on the sides, and the arch of his thick eyebrows. He continued. “Or if you want, James. I guess whichever you like better.”

“Kirk,” You said rather hastily and clutched the shot glass tightly in your hands.

“That works too.” As if he needed to be any more visually attractive, he turned in his seat to give you a smile that you were positive you’d never seen from anyone before. Whether it was made up of cockiness and slight drunkenness, or perhaps happiness, you couldn’t tell. But, it was the kind of smile that started at the edges of his mouth, to the edges around his bright eyes. It was a full on grin, and not one out of politeness. “As long as it’s not Captain.” He mumbled, watching with careful eyes as the bartender picked up his now empty glass and replaced it with a full one. Kirk gazed at you from his peripherals and slid the glass towards you and slurred to the bartender, “Can I get another one?” He was leaning forward in his seat, his ribcage rubbing against the edge of the counter.

A minute later, Kirk was drink in hand again and let his attention dwindle back to you. Lifting his glass, he knocked it towards you and whispered, “I’d like to make a toast. Well, more like a friendly gesture.” His mouth shut and he pursed his lips, his blue eyes fluttering as he tried to stay sane.

You chuckled quietly, watching him compose himself enough to actually speak clearly. You’d never seen him in such a state, and though you were sure a lot of other crew members might have, you still found it heart-wrenching that he appeared to trust you enough to see him like this. Not composed, to the point where speaking was a problem, and loose enough to actually have a good time without having to worry about the lives that were usually at stake on the Enterprise. His hair was slightly disheveled, and rather than lying to the left, parted neatly, it was rather messy, a few pieces scattered as if he pushed his hand through it multiple times this evening. This, you didn’t doubt. He was in civilian clothing, as were you, wearing a pair of tight blue jeans, a black t-shirt under a vintage leather jacket. Kirk, undoubtedly, looked amazing. And the way he moved, made you wonder if this was something he was aware of, or if he had enough to drink to be cockier than he usually was.

Nodding in agreement, you raised your glass so it paralleled his. “I for one, never realized how pretty you are,” He started rather confidently, “Wait, wait.” kirk squeezed his eyes shut, “I lie. I did realized… Realize how pretty you were, I was just too much of a baby to say anything to you, plus,” He leaned forward and momentarily, his glass rubbed against your own, “Bones would kill me if I tried to get with you. He’s like your dad or something, it’s kind of scary.” Kirk hiccuped, “I swear, this is no-not the alcohol talking. (Name)… I am very, very interested in you.”

“Isn’t that a conflict of interest, sir?” You asked and held your glass tightly. You were positive if the grip on it wasn’t so rough, it would slide out of your grip and explode on the floor. His words, and the brave tone of voice he had used, made your face burst with heat. Starting in the middle of your cheeks, to expand and sweep up to the tip of your ears. You weren’t sure if you were red, but if Kirk did mention, you could always blame it on the alcohol. “I’m one of your crew members… You’re the Captain. You’re directly above me. I don’t think it’s appro-”

“I don’t think the way you’re avoiding this is appropriate.” He suddenly said, sharply and clearly enough for you to understand, “You- you…” Kirk’s brows furrowed together, “don’t think I notice you staring? Or, or the way you get nervous around me?” You rested your glass back onto the counter. “I usually don’t know what I’m doing, I like to wing it, and I don’t like rules,” He explained to you, “But, I dunno. I kinda wanna see what it’s like to know what I’m doing.”

“We’d be fraternizing, sir.” His baby blue eyes shot up at that word.

“Well, technically, yeah.” Kirk gave you a sly grin, his voice rocketing inside of your ear, “But, I can bend the ruuuules just a little.” You knew this to be true, in some senses. But in others, not so much. What he’d call ‘bending the rules’ was actually flat out breaking them, sometimes with absolutely barbaric outcomes, sometimes, without any.

For a brief second, that felt like five minutes, you heavily considered this. The outcome, the entirety of the situation. Condensation lifted itself onto your chilled glass, dripping down onto the coaster that protected the oak counters from damage.

“If ya don’t say something, I’m taking it as a no, and I’m going to leave and cry my eyes out tonight.” Kirk joked, though deep down, you wondered if he was being serious. It was obvious that he two things when drunk. Emotional, and macho. Depending on the situation, these two things worked together beautifully, but as of right now, they were messing with your mind. “I mean, Uhura and Spock… They fra…” He had to pause and think of the word, “Fraternize, don’t they? By definition of the word, I mean. They have a personal relationship, which is what you’re implying would happen if we did, say…” You looked at him, watching as his mouth moved before taking a swig of the drink in his hand, “Kiss tonight.”

Kirk had leaned forward, only about a foot away from your face. One foot was on the floor steadying him so he didn’t stumble right on top of you. You could see the close up details of his face, the mischievous playfulness that rested behind his eyes. The two of you looked into each other’s eyes for what felt like eternity before he finally spoke, “I know you want to. I can see it.”

This was undoubtedly true.

And the fact that you wanted nothing more than to kiss him right then and there, was also undoubtedly true.

“Is it still considered fraternizing if we do it off duty?” He intrigued, setting his glass down on the counter.

“Nothing’ll change the fact that you are the Captain of the Enterprise and I-”

“Bones was right,” Kirk chuckled and grasped the back of your head slowly. His fingers expanded, tangling into the depths of your hair, causing a shudder to break out down your spine at the sudden amount of affection he was giving you. “You’re such a goody two-shoes…” Kirk raised his hand and lightly pushed his thumb against your lips. It took all you had not to peep your tongue out,  “You like to follow the rules because they give you structure, I don’t blame you,” He replaced his finger, with his mouth, it only being  a few inches away from kissing yours, his breath dancing on your face and the vague taste of his lips lingering on yours overpowered you as he mumbled delicately, “but, you need to learn how to break a rule every once and awhile. Let me give you some structure. I’ve been told I’m good at that.”

“Who told you that?” You laughed quietly, biting down on your bottom lip.

“Uhm,” Kirk shut his eyes and puffed quietly, leaning his forehead against yours. “T-That doesn’t matter right now. Some girl, I think. First year at the Academy. Then again, she coulda been talking about something else.” Kirk had raised his eyebrows suggestively, opening his eyes in the process, “If you let me kiss yo-”

“You talk a lot.” You informed him, your right hand reaching forward to rest on his thigh as if to remind him you were only a few inches away from him, “I knew you did before, but this is a little extensive.”

“That, I have also been told. Actually, by Bones like three hours ago—”

“Let me talk, then.” Kirk popped his mouth shut at your sudden assertion and nodded. “Let’s say… I let you kiss me… We are off duty, after all…” He licked his mouth slowly, tantalizing you, “Then what?”

He smirked, ever so slightly, but enough for you to take notice, “I’d kiss you again. And again, and probably again…” He was inching closer and closer to you, the hand that was once on his thigh now resting on his side. The fabric of his leather jacket played at your fingertips as he craned his head down, his lips barely grazing against yours. It was minimal contact, but it was still enough to make your entire body light up. Starting at your lips, your senses came alive. There was a small beating at the base of your skull, like a headache, but oddly enough, it felt soothed when Kirk began brushing his fingers through your hair. Your mouth yearned for more when he push for a deeper, harder kiss.

There was something inexplicably wild about what was happening, his free hand raising to cup your jawline, subsequently making your eyes flutter shut at the feeling. For a minute, Kirk seemed to overpower you, his hands keeping you from moving, and yours bracing yourself against his body as he stood up from his seat. He ran the hand in your hair forward and grasped the other side of your jawline to cup your entire face, his mouth rapid against yours without necessarily pulling away. He tasted like everything he had to drink this evening. A bit of Cranberry vodka, a bit of a Bud Light Classic. Simultaneously, Kirk tasted sweet, bitter and warm. To contradict this, he felt physically soft. You had expected otherwise. You’d expected for the muscles of his torso to be hard, unmoving under your fingertips, and from between the fabric of his shirt. But, it wasn’t. Kirk was literally melting against you, his entire body, from head to toe, as if he needed to be near you. His mouth was melding against yours, assuring both of you were pleased by the pressure of the kiss.

It was a secure sensation. A structured action.

Pulling away from each other was the hardest thing to do. Kirk had stayed true to his words, and when his lips ceased contact with your own, even for a breath, he was diving in for another peck. The small, almost chaste kisses left you wanting much more.

You lifted your shoulders and breathed in heavily, his hands now resting on your forearms. It was chilly now, that you weren’t embraced by his warmth, but his fingers kept some parts of your skin warm. “Jim…”

“I knew I’d get you to call me by my name.” He chuckled cutely, running his hands up and down your arms, “I like how you say it… I like how it sounds. It’s like… The stars are calling my name.”

“That’s cheesy.” You whispered lightly, bumping your nose against his.

“But, it’s true.”


So whilst surfing Tumblr, I came across this little gem. Of course I find any theory regarding Pokemon to be interesting, but this one stuck out to me mainly because Necrozma has a severe case of Zygarde-ism (third legendary with BST lower than cover legendaries). This got me thinking… What if there’s more to Necrozma than we thought? Spoilers down below.

Picture belongs to possessedscholar.

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Miserable Without You

Pairing: Juan “Alvie” Alvarez and Reader

Requested: Nah, bro. But thank you to @manuelmiranduh for the push to do it! 

Warnings: Commas. Just lots of Commas. Mentions of depression and Alvie suffers from bipolar disorder. 

A/N: So the reason this took me longer to get out is because I started writing something different AND IT WAS TOO ANGSTY. I needed something different and this came to me at work when i should have been doing my job:)

I am always taking requests! Hit me up! 


Originally posted by raptorwhisperer

You sat on a small bench on the outskirts of the room as you watched Alvie interact with the other patients. A small smile played on your lips as he excitedly told a story to someone sitting beside him. You’d become accustomed to the weekly visits where Alvie would be too preoccupied with being a showboat to the other guests to sit down with you. It’s stopped bothering you a long time ago, it was nice just seeing his face, hearing his laugh, knowing that he was somewhere he couldn’t hurt himself. That was enough for now. It was when a tall gentleman sporting a cane sat down beside you, that you were pulled from your thoughts.

“I’ve been wondering who you were here for, but you’ve been staring at Alvie for 10 minutes with a dumb smile on your face so I think I’ve found my answer,” he stated bluntly which took you by surprise. Crossing your legs over each other, something you did when you were nervous, you spoke to the stranger.

“You guessed correctly, but I’m assuming you need the gratification of being right, or you wouldn’t have come over here.”

“Feisty, I like it.”

“No, just trying to get the most out of my visit.”

“You’re just staring at him though,” he stated with a hint of annoyance, “you can’t be getting the most out of your visit.” His comment caused you to huff and cross your arms in frustration.

“You don’t think I know that? It’s just – as long as he’s on a high I’m willing to keep it going. I can’t take anymore lows, they’re too painful. I love him too much.” That couldn’t have been the answer he was expecting, he went quiet and gently patted your knee in a way your father used to after giving you advice. Like clock work, you finally had Alvie’s attention. Jealousy was a trait you could always count on from him.  He abandoned his game before sauntering towards the two of you with determination.

“House, are you trying to steal my girl?” Ah, the stranger had a name.

“If I was, you’d never stand a chance!” House stood and sent a nod in your direction before taking his leave.

“What was that about,” Alvie asked before filling the seat next to you.

“Nothing, he was just being nice.” Alvie scoffed. You grabbed his hand in yours, a rare moment of intimacy for you both lately.

“Hey, there is nothing going on there. I didn’t even know his name until you came up. It’s doesn’t even sound like a real name at that, I mean House? C'mon! You can’t tell me he wasn’t named after a commodores song?” Your jokes brought him out from the darkness, a smirk gracing his lips as he turned to look at you.

“Why do you keep coming here?” His question took you by surprise.

“What are you talking about?”

“You can’t be happy (Y/N), coming here twice a week. Staying with me even though–” he was cut off by a nurse on the other side of the room.

“Okay everybody, visitors time is up. Say your goodbyes until next time!”

Alvie looked defeated. You motioned for him to follow you as you kept a firm grip on his hand. He walked with you down to the lobby and down a deserted corridor.

“(Y/N), what are you doing?”

“Shut up. You think I’m not happy. Well, you’re right. I’m miserable without you. The bed is cold, and I miss the way you make up raps about breakfast. I love you so much that I ache. Every time you find your way back in here I am depressed beyond compare and twice a week I force myself to shower and look presentable because I know you need me to be the strong one. ” You were crying by now, hot tears flooded your cheeks as you kept your eyes trained on the ground in embarrassment. Alvie brought his hands to cup your cheeks, catching every tear that fell with the pad of his thumb. You could tell he was crying too, his shoulders shook as emotion ran through him, his forehead pressed gently to yours.

“I’m so sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I never meant for you to feel that way. You have no idea how much I love you, I just thought you’d be happier without me. I tho-” for the second time in less than hour he was cut off. This time by you pressing your lips to his, the kiss was meant to be chaste, something to make you feel contact without going overboard. He was the one who deepened the kiss. Using one hand to pull you closer to him as you wrapped your arms around him. All the emotion you’d been feeling for weeks was poured into the kiss and he couldn’t seem to to get close enough to you. After what seemed like an eternity, you both pulled back, short of breath but blissfully happy.

“We’re gonna be okay. I know it.” Alvie sounded determined but you didn’t was to hurt his spirits. You didn’t press him for the meaning but let him give you one last kiss before he ran back upstairs.

Little did you know as you made your way back to your car, Alvie was making waves of his own upstairs.

Alvie knocked on the window to the doctors station.

“What can I do for you Alvie?”

“My meds,” he paused, your face strong in his mind, “I’m ready to get better.”

BTS Suga Fluff - Filtered Black and White

Genre: Slight Angst, Fluff

Warnings: Strong language, Depression, Self-harm

Originally posted by sugattaemunee

I do not own the gif.

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Deserved It

Pairing- Jimin x reader 

Type- Fluff, Angst

Word count- 1,154

Warnings- Idk, crying?

A/N- (♥ω♥ ) ~♪ Okey dokey yo, this is a thank you from me to you guys for 100 followers!! WOooO. Like I was gonna write a fluff but I think it turned out a little more angsty? Idk? You can be the judge of that…

Anyway like, I’m super grateful tho, like Ive mentioned it before but I ReALly was not expecting this blog to go anywhere when I first uploaded “Tomorrow?” and like I read it back and it makes me cringe but then Im glad it does as that means I have improved. If only my upcoming english exams were on writing fanfictions not essays about Dr Jekyll and shit and random war poems. /(x~x)\

Also, I think I’m gonna count this as my weekly upload because I’m having writers block for Forbidden Fruit again….

| Masterlist |

Originally posted by bangtaninspired

“I deserved it” you breathed out, rubbing one of your hands on your temple while the other rested your phone close to your sore damp cheek.

“Nobody deserved that.” a voice from the other end responded in an insistent tone.

The line went almost silent for a few minutes as neither of you spoke up and only the sound of his calm breathing, and your erratic gasps for air, quietly filled the void. You finally responded after calming down “I’ve never had a friend as loyal as you Jimin…. I-I’m really grateful…” you replied almost in a whisper between sniffles while a shaky smile took over your lips.

“Obviously I am, if I wasn’t, who would you cry to about your issues and who would bring you hot drinks and snacks while you’re crying home alone at half past one in the morning and not expecting any company?” you furrowed your brows, finding his statement fishy, not just cocky.

Seconds later a knock on your door caught your attention.

Ding dong~” the young male added on the other end of the call.

“Jimin! What the hell are you doing!” you shouted in surprise through the phone with no intention of getting up to open the door.

“Open up Y/n~, there’s no heating out in the corridor! My handsies are getting hold and the drinks are getting colder~” he whined teasingly.

You hurriedly wiped at your eyes with the last remaining tissue and then proceeded to try and collect all of the ones that you chucked onto the floor. The knocks grew louder and so did Jimin as he shouted through the letter box while you tried your best to clean like the Flash and make yourself look like less of a mess by quickly combing through your hair with your fingers.

You finally opened the door and a smiley Jimin greeted you on the other side.

“H-hey…Why the hell did you come here so late dumbass?” You questioned, pretending to find his sudden appearance a nuisance although in reality you desperately wished for his comfort and he could tell by the puffiness of your eyes and the way you stood at the door that you were happy about his arrival. He knew you needed someone’s shoulder to cry into.

“I brought your favourites.” He stated as he walked past you and into the living room to place down the bags of snacks and drinks that occupied his hands and you followed close behind him after closing the door.

He slowly turned to face you; the cheerfulness that was on his complexion while he was at the door was now replaced with sympathy. One look and you felt the tears bubble back up, you bit your lip and he wrapped you in a hug as if he was prepared for this situation. His hand smoothed over your head and shoulders over and over while your body began to tremble with each breath. You both stood there in the centre of the room while he rocked you ever so slightly side to side. Your tears began to soak his hoodie and your hands became fists on the soft fabric. Little whimpers escaped your lungs as you were finally letting your emotions go to someone after hours of trying to cope with them by yourself. Not a word was exchanged between the two of you.

What felt like eternity finally passed and your cries became muffled and then eventually became silent altogether as you bathed in Jimins loving warmth. If you weren’t both stood up you would have fallen into a deep sleep already with the beat of his heart becoming more entrancing the more you listened. A deep sigh escaped his mouth and the hot air brushed passed your hair.

“I just want to make sure that you never look back at what happened and blame yourself, you deserve the world and more, not this, not anything that hurts you…”

You silently nodded against his chest and he finally released you from his embrace. His hands held your shoulders one last time before giving you a reassuring smile. He cupped you cheeks and used his thumbs to wipe the remaining tears that were persistent on rolling down your face. Gently, he guided you over to the couch. He sat you down and grabbed the food he had brought and took it over to you before also seating himself down next to you.

A shiver went down your arms as the temperature of the room was nothing compared to the heat that Jimin had provided. You huddled closer to him and he grabbed a blanket before draping it over both of you. As he began to sip his lukewarm drink while handing you yours, he took the remote and turned on a random channel that was airing a movie. What movie it was you couldn’t remember as all you could concentrate on was the way your body rested perfectly against his and how every so often you would catch each other staring, and of course you would blush and shy away each time.

Even your favourite snack seemed bland when you ate it, as the moment you shared with Jimin was more heavenly and spine-tingling than anything you had ever experience and all you were doing was sharing a sentimental moment together by cuddling after manifesting your woeful emotions. Somehow while the movie played and he reached for more food, he managed to slip his hand over your shoulders to bring you as close to him as possible, as if he was scared you would at any moment run away from his grasp. The sound of the TV became a mere muffle in the background.

“If I deserve the world, then you deserve a galaxy” you spoke quietly as your eyelids got heavier and heavier every minute. Little by little your breathing slowed and deepened while your body prepared for a deep sleep. Your consciousness began to waver as the long night was taking its toll on you and beckoning your mind to let go and sleep.

Jimin had noticed you falling asleep and turned the TV off. His arms carefully came away from your shoulders and he began to get up. He froze for a moment when you began to move, but proceeded to carefully lift you up with the blanket when you had settled once more. After making his way over to your bedroom with you nested in is arms, he tenderly placed you under the covers and wrapped you up warmly. His hand lightly grazed your forehead and he brought his head forward just enough to tenderly kiss the same spot. Your body instinctively sighed at the sensation.

Just before he closed the door, he looked back at your tranquil sleeping form and what he said almost came out as a whisper,

“I don’t need a galaxy if I already have you, my universe.” 

 A/N- Hope you enjoyed~ cause I sure did ;)

Thank You


Member : Hansol

Genre : Fluff/Angst

Note : Hey, everyone! It’s been a long time since I wrote stories such as this one right here. So, I tried my best! I hope it’s to your liking. (^=˃ᆺ˂) Just in case you missed it, there is angst in this so don’t say I didn’t warn you. Enjoy! (❁´▽`❁)*✲゚*

; yume

The room was pitch black and silent, save for the steady rhythm of the ticking clock on the wall. I stared blankly at its moving hands, illuminated by the scarce moonlight streaming in through the translucent balcony doors. Usually the monotonous ticking would lull me to sleep, but today, it was the source of my alertness. That and the self-inflicted torture orchestrated by my mind.

I turned to my side and faced the beautiful being I had gotten to know and love. His eyelashes fanned out majestically, like a proud peacock showing off his feathers, casting fine, delicate shadows on his profound cheekbones. My eyes traced every feature of his face—memorising them in detail and saving them to daydream about later—before they fell upon his lips which were upturned at the edges. 

“What wonderful dreams are you having that could make you smile like that?” I giggled softly, careful not to wake him up. 

Dreams that don’t have you in it. 

I felt a sharp pang in my chest but chose to ignored it. Snuggling closer to him, I willed his warmth to melt away the darkness that encased my thoughts.

“Thank you for loving me.” My voice barely came out as a whisper. 

“I know this love isn’t mine because… you belong to someone else.” I captured a wayward strand of his hair and twirled it around with my finger, feeling the silky texture. 

“Someone who is better than me… smarter than me, prettier than me.” I peered longingly at his face, imagining the warm brown eyes hidden beneath his closed eyelids. “And I know one day, you will stand beside that person, leaving me by myself.” My voice shook unsteadily as I imagined him standing next to another girl, laughing at her jokes. The reason for his dazzling smile. 

The reason that wasn’t me.

A wave of emotions rose in my chest, threatening to choke me.

“But that’s okay,” I carried on. “Your happiness is mine. As long as you’re happy with the person you chose to share your days with, that’s all that matters—it’s all I need.”  

My throat constricted as a tear trickled down my cheek.   

“Even if this moment is only temporary, I’m happy that you chose me.” I’m happy that you noticed me out of everyone else in this world.

“And I wouldn’t choose anyone else.”

“H-Hansol!” I gasped. “I’m sorry did I wake you?” I quickly faced the dark side of the room and wiped my eyes. “Oh my God, I’m so sorry, and you have to get up early for practice tomorrow too. I…I-”

My face was surely red and panic had seized my entirety causing my back to stiffen at every movement he made.  

I can’t let him see me like this.

“Shhh.” He pulled me close to his chest and drew circles on my arms, trying to coo me. “It’s okay. Calm down.” My hand shot up to his when he tried to make me face him. Instead of pushing my hand away, he enveloped it in his, gently bringing it to his lips and planting soft kisses on my knuckles. 

I was afraid and on edge—my body in the state of fight or flight—but I relented after a while, turning to face him when I was sure I wouldn’t fall to pieces at the sight of him. 

He gazed into my eyes, the drowsiness from sleep dissipating which brought a certain gleam to his brown eyes. “Y/N, I don’t care about practice. What’s more important right now was what you were saying before.” He squeezed my hand that was in his firm grasp and gave me a look of concern. “What’s wrong?”

I avoided his gaze, feeling dread seep into my veins. Will he leave me now that he knows how annoyingly insecure I am? I swallowed the painful lump in my throat that threatened to escape as a sob.

“Y/N, look at me…”

I couldn’t comply. Not when I was about to have a breakdown in front of him. I bit my trembling lip. Why was I making it so difficult for him? Why am I worrying him at a time like this? I heard him sigh. He must be tired. Y/N, get your act together!

I felt him gently lift my chin up and immediately squeezed my eyes shut, refusing to let him see the tears that threatened to escape. However, I didn’t close them fast enough because I saw the furrow of his eyebrows and the frown on his lips. 

He’s upset. 

I made him upset. 

Some girlfriend you are.

There was silence for a while but it stretched on like an eternity to me. I felt him brush his fingers over my closed eyelids with feather-like touches before entangling them in my hair, stroking loose strands and putting them in place. 

“Y/N, just listen to me, okay?” He finally said. I could only nod in reply. It was too much for me to even utter a word.

“Even if I was reborn, I would choose you. In every single lifetime, I will still choose you, Y/N, over and over again.” He stared deeply into my eyes, his gaze never wavering as he uttered those words. “Only you can make me smile until my jaw hurts, make me laugh until I cry, make my heart race just by the mere mention of your name.”

Gently, as if I was made of fine china, he pulled me into his arms and cradled me gingerly. 

“No one else can bring me so much happiness.” He said softly into my ear. “No one but you.”

With that one sentence alone, the dam I had built on my pent-up emotions broke. I looked at him but all I could manage was a blurry image of Hansol through the flurry of tears.

“Thank you,” I whispered in a sob.

“No.” Resting his forehead on mine, he planted a kiss on my nose. “Thank you.”

With our hands intertwined in the little space between us, we drifted off to the world of dreams, ushered by the lullaby of our beating hearts.

Endless Love

wordlessthoughtsofwonder said: My heart is gone… I have no words. Unspoken brought me to tears! I loved it!! Thank you so much!! Keep them coming. Your the best ☺️

i-am-a-tiger-ninja-goalie said: Oh my God!! My heart has been shattered!! Please write another part!! I’m crying right now!!!!

nonexistancewouldbeapleasure said: I just read your accidents happen series and omg. I just. I can’t believe how amazing it is, I can’t wait to read the next part! There will be a next part right? I absolutely /NEED/ to know what happens or else I’ll go insane. But anyway! You’re an amazingly talented writer while I was reading I felt like I was somewhere else and not in my bed anymore. You are truly amazing and I can’t wait to read more of your work! ☺️

Anonymous said: Is there going to be another part to the AH series? Unbroken was so good!

elenawrit said: YOU HAVE FIVE SECONDS TO TELL ME THAT THE LATTER PART “Unspoken” IS NOT FINISHED, AND THERE WILL BE SOMETHING BEHIND !! Otherwise, I turn into a bear ice, and I find you and sing to you ALL SONGS BY BROTHER BEAR !! I AM FRENCH, I AM COMPLETELY CRAZY !! I know it makes no sense, but do me a favor and pretend to be scared just half a second! Please do.

Anonymous said: If Accidents Happen doesn’t end well I’m not sure what I’ll do. Probably cry and reread it five times. Keep up the good work sweetheart!


And well, you guys get the point….

A/N: Okay, I know I said one more part, but the length of this is more than what I usually publish, so I’m gonna split it in two. Anyhow, I promise that now there is just one more part. Also, a special thanks to whiskeybrothers for inspiration of this! 

Word count: 2,627

Pairing: Dean x Reader

Warnings: swearing, mentions of death.

The “Accidents Happen” series

Unspoken (Previous Part)

Misnamed Fate (Last Part)



Your voice was a sweet whisper in his ear, filled with love and gentleness. It was the feeling of falling asleep on the couch and waking up with a blanket. It was smelling the coffee in the morning and knowing that there was already a cup perfectly made for him. It was inhaling the smell of your clothes when he hugged you. It was love. And it was the most painful pierce in his heart.

He didn’t want to open his eyes to find the side next to him empty, as it had been for the past month. He didn’t want to open his eyes and see that there was a frame missing from your bedside table. He didn’t want to open his eyes because everytime he did it would only remind him that it was all real. You were gone.

Dean didn’t like real.

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anonymous asked:

Kisuke's answer to Askin's question stays with me: a true scientist wouldn't want to watch someone else recreate the universe; he'd want to be the one doing it. Now, Kisuke was speaking of Mayuri there, but I have to wonder: Aizen believed (believes?) he could do it. Yhwach believes he can. Do you think that Kisuke actually knows HE could do it, and the only thing holding him back is the terrible cost? Do you suppose that 'blank canvas' reference is a veiled threat? Nuke it all and start over...

The short answer?  No.

The long (VERY LONG) one?

I think, anon, the answer to your question was given a number of years ago, in chapter 421: 

All Kubo did in 664 was elaborate on it:

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Word Count: 2,171

Rating: E

Genre: Angst

Summary: To him, it might as well have been just another word, thrown out carelessly like ‘hello’ or ‘good-bye’. But to you, those seven letters meant your whole world. And perhaps your whole world was too heavy for them to carry because everything comes crashing down, dragging you into a debris of abandonment and sorrow.  

Childhood friends.

At least, that’s what you would tell your friends when they asked you what your relationship with Jeon Jungkook was. And it wasn’t necessarily a lie either. Your fathers had been college roommates and kept in contact after graduation. Sunday lunches were often spent at Jungkook’s house instead of yours.

Except, you didn’t tell them the funny feeling in your chest whenever he said your name.

Or the time he held your hand during the scavenger hunt in fifth grade and didn’t let go even after it was over.

Or the time he shared his mom’s samgyeopsal with you and you only.

Or the time he kissed you under the fireworks during the summer festival in your first year of middle school while the crowd around you cheered, too busy to take notice.

No, you never told a soul. You never told anyone any of these things because this bond that the two of you had was a secret, a secret only you and Jungkook knew. And that made it all the more special. 

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Monster (part ½)
minkey, mention of past taekey / pg-15 /  4k words (this part), ~11k (total) / angst like whoa / [part two]
warnings: mentions of past rape

in which Minho rescues an injured creature from the side of the road.

Kibum lies still at the side of the road, curled up in a filthy, frozen ditch, and shivering. He has his eyes screwed shut, but that doesn’t help the nauseous dizziness pulsing in waves throughout his body–  hot in his stomach, thick and cold in his throat. Many of the wounds torn into his sides are still bleeding, sluggish and slow. His head hurts. His everything hurts. He’s fairly sure he’s concussed.

He’s fairly sure he’s dying. 

Each breath is an agony, drawn in through cracked ribs and a broken nose. His mouth is full of blood, and his gums hurt where some of his teeth have been knocked out. He’s never been so weak in his life. The shame of being left to die in a ditch like this burns through him and makes everything ache worse. He doesn’t want to die, but self-hatred at his own fragility makes the prospect of eternal restful oblivion seem sweeter than it should.

It’s snowing out here, lazy flakes spiraling from the sky. The ditch is full of frozen gray sludge, and the street is empty of traffic just now, for which Kibum is grateful. At least no one else has to witness this ignominious end.

The cold settles into his bones, a creeping menace every bit as dangerous as his other wounds. Kibum’s shivering begins to slow. He sighs with quiet, painful relief; this is it then, the beginning of the end.

He loses consciousness just as the sound of footsteps echoes through the misty night air, slow at first, then faster. Kibum pays no attention to the sudden shouting that accompanies the footsteps, or to the warm, gloved hands which start trying to shake him into wakefulness.

It is time to sleep forever.


Forever turns out to be a very short time, in the end.

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With 2015 overhead, it marks almost four years on this site that instantaneously ruined every chance I had at a social life and seriously makes me question what I was doing before this. This year, I went through multiple URL, theme, and fandom changes, and reached not only 1,000, but more than 1,500 followers - 1.6K is not that far away either. (Seriously, where did all of you come from? This is really just a hodgepodge of lame & emotional text posts and reblogs.) But because so many of you are oddly sticking around for the long haul, I don’t think I’ve done a follow forever since 2012 so, here goes! Prepare for some love~

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