and demon dean because why not

Imagine Jack spilling to you what Dean thinks, and practically feels, of you when he reads his mind.

“Wait, wait, wait, wait.” Dean raised a hand, stopping Jack from drinking his beer “How old do you think you are?” he asked, mouth half full as you and Sam shared a look.

“Uh 3 days, 17 hours and 42 minutes.” Jack replied precisely to the question and seeing the look on Dean’s face almost made you choke on your own drink. It was priceless to say the least. Barely at four days old and the young man had already outsassed the older Winchester, well this was going to be fun. Dean just shook his head and took a sip of his beer, Jack watching closely and doing the same at the exact almost moment.

“So-” Jack cleared his throat, looking at you “You are my aunt, right?”

“Uh well-” you smiled “Was, actually. I’m no longer an angel, I fell and after building a vessel things happened and… there is no angel mojo in me anymore. So I am practically human.”

Keep reading

a love spell, or something like it

inspired by a post sara reblogged (this one, specifically) and the resulting conversation about different love spells, where she suggested i write the fic. i said no, go away, it’s late. then i stayed up and wrote the fic.

This doesn’t make any sense.

Though they’d never admit it—Dean especially would never admit it—they’re practically witches themselves at this point. Sam isn’t deluded enough to think otherwise. He has a fair share of spells up his sleeve that he knows by heart by now, a few more he’s working on remembering, and some he still struggles with the incantation, but at the end of the day they frequently speak Latin and throw herbs into flames, so, logically, they’re witches, or close enough to it.

And it’s because of this (and his own unfortunate experience that no one must ever speak of again, thanks) that Sam knows a love spell when he sees one.

Keep reading

You Understand, Right? (Part 3): Bargaining Chip

Characters: Dean Winchester x Sister!Reader / Friend!Reader, Sam Winchester x Sister!Reader / Friend!Reader, Bobby Singer

Length: 1154+ words

TW: Suicide. Depression. Abandonment. Character Death.

A/N: There was so much interest in continuing this fic! I am so glad you guys enjoyed it, and I really wasn’t expecting this to become a series! Feedback is encouraged!

SERIES MASTERLIST


Crowley thundered through the halls of his dungeon, a smirk on his face. He heard a little rumour going around in the rack, about a girl associated with the Winchesters- someone who meant an awful lot. He stood in front of the girl, assessing her from head to toe. A surge of power traveled through his bloodstream as he realized that he found the key to getting the Winchester’s to doing his biddings.

Y/N’s head lolled to the side as she became more conscious of her surroundings. It was rare for someone to be unconscious in hell, the demons like to keep the person fully aware of their torture when they’re on the rack.

“Hello, dear,” he greeted, an evil smirk adorning his face.

She didn’t reply just as Crowley expected. He tapped into her memories, watching her life flash by as he confirmed her relationship with the Winchester brothers. He patted her cheek, ignoring her wince as he didn’t even bother to avoid the bruise on the skin. As he walked away from her, he wondered just exactly what he would ask of the brothers. There were so many possibilities, and he could not wait for the time to bring her up.

It was almost ten years later when Crowley finally exhausted all of his resources, and used up all of his other leverages against the boys.

The demon tracked down the Winchesters to their motel room, having just finished a hunt in town, and ready to head back home to their bunker. 

“Hello, boys,” the demon greeted.

Both brothers pulled out their guns.

“What the hell do you want, Crowley?” Dean demanded.

“Oh, Squirrel. Always had the penchant for the dramatics.”

“Shut up.”

“If you could lower your weapons, and we can talk like normal people-” 

“Not until you tell us what you want,” Sam added.

“Well, I came to you because I may have a wee bit of a predicament.”

“And why should we help you?” Dean asked.

The demon smirked. “Because I got something that may be of interest.”

Keep reading

Hey anti sitting in my inbox! Nice to meet you! I don’t want to publish your ask ‘cause I’m not up to indulging in your hate while we’re here dancing and cheering over Cas’ return.

lbr I can’t explain why Dean is grieving this extremely without mentioning Cas at all. Cas was written ALL OVER DEAN’S GRIEF the moment he was stabbed in 12x23. Every single abrupt decision, every single barbed retort, every single instance where Dean’s festering grief peeks through the cracks of his broken mind and takes itself out on Sam and especially Jack—Cas is the reason Dean’s off the rails.

This is Dean’s ROCK BOTTOM, NO NORMAL. I mean, why else do you see these significant narrative markers that continue to highlight Dean vs Sam?

The stark contrast is there. Sam’s ABLE to move past Cas’ death. Dean CAN’T.

This scene reveals—in one breathless explosive stroke—the mentally taxing burden Dean’s been carrying around on his shoulders: Cas’ death. He blames Jack, the mirror of Dean’s self-loathing, powerful (MoC, Demon!Dean), putrid, undeserving soul.

Dean ultimately blames himself; his love for Cas is what killed him in the end.

It’s impossible to put Sam in Dean’s place. It’s impossible to picture him reacting so violently, so bitterly, because he doesn’t fit into Dean’s grief narrative.

An angst-studded grief narrative that yells “Cas comes first! Cas this! Cas that! WHAT ABOUT CAS? Let’s kill the freak! Cas died ‘cause of him!”

Sam isn’t the one who wants to kill Jack. Dean is.

Sam isn’t the one who lost faith in everything. Dean is.

Sam isn’t spilling the mere existence of the supernatural—the true nature of their job—to normal civilians. Dean is.

Sam isn’t telling victims right-off-the-bat that their loved ones are dead. Dean is.

Sam isn’t in love with Cas. Dean is.

And that same fierce love—alongside listless grief—induced Jack to bring Cas back, both for Dean and for himself.

Hell of A First Time

Pairing: Castiel x Sam x Dean x Virgin!Reader (no destiel, sastiel,or wincest–sorry!)

Word Count: 4.3k words of SIN

Warnings: it’s a threesome with dean as a voyeur. and the reader’s a virgin. lots of orgasms. and there’s oral. tada!

A/N: this is my first time writing a threesome, so be kind, friends!! feedback is so greatly appreciated!

Originally posted by stayclassysupernatural

You, Sam, Dean and Cas sat around the map table sharing a bottle of whiskey, celebrating another successful hunt. It was nights like these—full of laughter, jokes and telling stories—that you treasured most. Being a hunter pretty much ensured a short-lived life, so you always treasured the small moments of joy spent with your best friends.

Keep reading

“Cas! Cas! Don’t do this to me, Cas.”

Dean kneels in the dirt next to Cas’s inert body, the rough fabric of the trenchcoat gripped tightly in his fists. It’s been minutes–hours?–since they came through from the other universe, since Cas… Dean doesn’t know when he started crying, but his face is wet with tears and his throat is raw from sobbing and pleading with Cas.

“Open your eyes, Cas. You cannot leave me. Not again. Open your eyes. Open your eyes. Open your eyes…”

He is still whispering the words, his voice nearly gone, when Sam pulls him away.

***

“Cas.”

It’s been over a week since they burned Cas’s body. Dean’s mind won’t let him sleep; he still sees the flames every time he closes his eyes. He feels the heat licking at his skin, cracking his lips. Now he sits on the cement floor of the parking garage; it’s the coolest place he can find.

“Where are you, Cas? Can you hear me anymore? Is it hot where you are? Is it cold? Where do angels go when they…”

There are tears on his cheeks again.

The barest whisper: “I miss you, Cas.”

***

On a hunt, a werewolf pack closing in.

“Cas! We could use your help!”

Sam jerks in surprise, barely escapes a snapping jaw.

The fight is brutal. Dean has a gash on his arm, Sam a badly bruised rib, but all the werewolves are dead. They make their way back to the Impala, Dean muttering, “Where are you, Cas?”

“Dean,” Sam says softly, “Cas is–”

Dean’s glare stops him cold.

***

Dark fields fly past outside Baby’s windows, and the sky above is a flood of stars. Dean is blind to all but the road and the steering wheel.

Led Zeppelin plays on the radio. Ramble On. This isn’t on the tape he made for…

“This used to be one of my favorite songs, Cas. But it’s all about goodbye, all about looking for something more. That was my life, always saying goodbye. Then we found the bunker, so we kinda had a home. And I thought–I hoped–someday I’d have you too.”

The song had ended while he was praying. The Impala’s engine and her wheels on the road are the only sounds until Dean’s gasping sobs fill the car.

He pulls over to the side of the road.

Cas.” Dean chokes on the name. “I wish you could hear me.”

***

It’s been 37 days since Cas…left.

Dean is off on his own again. He hunts with Sam, but between hunts he can’t seem to stay still, just like he can’t seem to close his eyes. So he drives. When he realizes where he is, he makes a sound that is almost a laugh.

Pontiac, Illinois.

He takes a few wrong turns, but eventually finds his way to the barn. It is, surprisingly, still standing. He expects to find the inside littered with beer bottles and the like, but there is nothing. Maybe all the signs and sigils scared off the local miscreants.

Memories wash over Dean in a rush.

Sparks.

Wings.

Stabbings.

I’m the one who gripped you tight and raised you from perdition.

I’m an angel of the Lord.

This is your problem, Dean. You have no faith.

Dean falls to his knees, head bowed. Remembering. The awesome sight of Cas’s wings, filling the entire barn. The way his eyes seemed to look into Dean’s very soul. The feeling of being known, and chosen, and wanted.

He aches for Cas, so even he is surprised by the words that tumble from his lips.

“Chuck. I don’t know if you’re listening anymore. The bible says–and yeah, Cas told me to read the bible, so I did–that you’re everywhere at once, so maybe you can still hear me even off on your family vacation.”

“I’m sorry, I’m not good at this. I sound like an idiot. I’ve gotten used to praying to Cas, but he can’t hear me anymore. Lucifer, he…” Tears flow from Dean’s eyes.

“I’m broken, Chuck. I can barely stand. You need to give him back to us. We need him. And not because he’s a fighter, or because he’s an angel, or because he’s a part of our team. You need to give him back because…” Dean takes a shuddering breath. “You need to give him back to me. Because I love him. He’s not my brother, he’s…he’s everything.”

His voice is raw, thick with tears.

“I never got to tell him. Please, Chuck. Please. I don’t know what else to say. Can you hear the sound of a heart breaking?”

***

Chuck blinks.

“Well, what do you know. Too bad I’m not writing any more books. I love character development.”

He twirls his finger in the air, and the dust motes form a spinning vortex. Atoms join, coming together to form more and more complex molecules until, with a tiny breath from Chuck, the angel stands in front of him.

Chuck gestures. “Sorry about the tie. Dean seem to like it backwards, though.”

Cas stands bewildered, patting his coat, touching his face, ruffling his hair–deliberately avoiding the place where the blade pierced his chest.

“And the tape is still in your pocket. I know it’s important to you.”

Cas’s hand flies to the inside pocket of his trenchcoat. When his hand closes around the familiar piece of plastic he relaxes slightly.

“I don’t understand,” Cas says. “I was…gone. Again.”

Chuck points at himself. “Did you forget who I am? Or how many times I’ve done this for you?”

Cas’s thoughts still haven’t caught up to the present. “But why?”

“Character development.”

Cas tilts his head, puzzled. “I don’t–”

“Nevermind,” Chuck says, chuckling to himself. “I just need you to deliver a message to Dean Winchester, okay?”

Cas nods, eyes bright. “Alright.”

“Tell him…tell him…no, on second thought, just go. I think he’ll understand. A picture is worth a thousand words and all that.”

Cas nods again, still not understanding, but willing to go. Chuck reaches out, gently rests his hands on Cas’s shoulders.

“One more thing,” he says. “It was never a punishment, Castiel.”

Cas’s eyes widen.

“You always believe in me. I keep bringing you back because I always believe in you too.”

***

Boards creak. Feathers rustle.

Dean’s head jerks up.

“Dean, why are we here?”

Dean cannot speak. He pulls himself to his feet, his eyes never leaving Cas’s. He walks to Cas, and when they are standing close enough to touch Cas says, “What about personal space, Dean?”

“Are you real, Cas?” Dean breathes. “Are you really you?”

Understanding, Cas flexes his wings. Blue-black feathers flash. No demon or shapeshifter could fake that.

“Good,” says Dean. “Oh, Cas. I–”

But there are no words. He pulls Cas into a hug, holding him like he never wants to let go.

“Thank you, Chuck,” Dean whispers. “Thank you.”

5

Favorite Moments from every Season >>> Season 1

13 Reasons Why (Tape 2)

Characters: sister!reader, Dean, Sam, Crowley, mention of John, readers mom

Warnings: blood, angst, death, swearing, blackmail

Word count: 4775

Summary: Dean listens to tape two and learns the truth about what happened to your mother. His suspicion grows as he finds out more about who is and who isn’t part of the reasons why.

A/N: sorry I’ve left you waiting for so long but part two is finally here!

Series: Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10

You ran inside your old house, it felt strange to be home. But that’s where this place was… Home. Your place with John was never a home, it was just a motel; a room with four walls. That’s not what a home meant to you, it was a person more than a place. That person to you was your mom and you needed her now more than ever.

When you opened up the door you had expected her to be on the couch watching a movie or something. The TV was on, however she wasn’t there. Your mom would never have left the TV on and gone to bed, so where the hell was she? You shut the door behind you and checked in the living room once more.

Heading up the stairs you heard the noise of the TV from her room. Why would the upstairs and downstairs TV be on?

“Mom?” You called out, but there was no answer. “Mom, it’s me, Y/N… I’m sorry, things didn’t work out with John.”

You walked into her room and saw her foot hanging off the end of the bed. You figured she must have fallen asleep while watching TV. You smiled as you thought of her peacefully laying there and not having to worry about anything. You wanted to cover her with a blanket but as soon as you walked in, you saw something you weren’t prepared for.

Everything stopped for a moment, you couldn’t move or breathe. Not a single sound came from your mouth, you just stood there and stared at her lifeless body covered in blood. “No.” The short word just about escaped your lips. Your throat was dry and you still couldn’t move. You weren’t sure if it was fear or shock doing this to you but it was as if you had been frozen on the outside yet your mind was screaming on the inside.

Then the smell hit you. That smell your brothers and father had told you was an instant alert of demons. Sulphur.

“Fuck. No, fuck fuck fuck,” you finally screamed now that your body finally let you move. “Mom?” You sobbed as you moved forward and held her body close to you. You didn’t care that you were getting blood all over your clothes, all you were desperate for was to bring your mother back. “Please wake up!”

You laid her back down on the bed and looked down at her. She looked so… Peaceful. That’s not how someone should look when they’re dead, should they? Before you could even begin to think of a way to fix this somehow, a voice spoke.

You jumped and turned around to see a man in a black suit, an evil grin plastered on his face. “Hello, love,” he spoke in a British accent.

“What the hell are you doing here? Are you a demon?” You snapped as you stood away from your mom. “Did you do this to her? I swear I’ll-”

“Yes, I know. You swear you’ll kill me and bleed me out and blah blah blah blah,” he interrupted. “And I’m not just some demon, little Winchester. I am the king of hell.”

* * *

“Crowley. Welcome to your tape,” you revealed.

He couldn’t believe what he was hearing. He had no idea that Crowley was the demon that killed your mother. Now that Dean recalled it he realised that you never really gave details on who killed your mother. But why?

“Not only did you destroy my life by taking my mother away from me, but you also made sure I could never tell anyone it was you because you knew my secret. You held that secret over me to make sure that my family never came after you for hurting my mom… I kept you safe to keep myself safe,” you explained. Dean fidgeted in anger and anticipation. “But now I’m gone, I’m dead and I don’t have to keep my secret anymore… Now I can let it out on this tape that you are the one that murdered an innocent woman. But when people know your motive, well, that’s the real twist in this story.”

Dean had so many questions about this. He had mixed emotions: he was confused, angry and intrigued. Crowley being the one that murdered your mother wasn’t the twist of his story? What the hell could his motive have been? What could you or your mother had done to make him want to hurt you so badly? But if Dean needed answers, that’s what the tapes were for.

“So, Crowley,” you said in a sassy voice, a voice that Dean missed so much. “Let’s begin with my secret.”

* * *

“I know who you are, Y/N,” he smiled. “We just need to have a chat, my names Crowley.”

“I don’t fucking care who you are,” you spoke dangerously low through gritted teeth. Tears of anger and sadness slid down your cheek as you talked to him. “I wanna know what the hell you’re doing here, what happened to my mother?”

“All in good time, darling,” he smiled evilly. As much as you wanted to just jump forward and kill him, you needed answers. The fact that you had just lost your mom failed to sink in, the mixture of rage and sadness was more towards the fact that something bad happened and it was out of your control. Right now, talking to Crowley was the only way to take control of the situation.

“We shouldn’t talk here,” Crowley insisted. With a snap of his fingers you were gone from your mothers bedroom; you appeared in a humid room full of people with black eyes. Crowley simply raised his hand as a motion for them to leave and they did it right away, no questions asked.

So maybe this guy really was the King of Hell, he had such a power over everyone. He walked over to a large, black throne and took a seat where you stood a few feet away from him. It felt like he was your King and you were bowing down to him but there was no way you would ever bow down to this asshole.

“Why did you bring me here?” You demanded.

“We need to discuss things. There are reasons I killed your mother, and there are reasons you can never tell your brothers or your father. They would kill me,” he explained.

“That’s exactly what I want,” you spat through gritted teeth. “There’s nothing you can say that will stop me from telling my brothers that you are the one that killed my mom.”

Now, now,“ he spoke confidently. “There’s a little more to it than that, Y/N. I know things… Things you wouldn’t want your family to know about you.”

“And that is?” You questioned, you had no idea what it could have been but there were so many options. You had a lot of secrets and a lot of bad history. How would Crowley know about any of them?

“Do you remember-” he stood up from his throne, walked down the step and towards you, “-that night you were drunk, we spoke in the bar.”

Now you started to remember him. You were so drunk that night you didn’t even think about who you spoke to. He circled around you as he continued to explain the story. “Drunk girls really like to open up about their feelings, especially the feelings about their daddy’s that leave them.”

What the hell did you say about John? What was Crowley talking about?

“I remember you,” you said with a shaky voice. “But, I didn’t talk about John. You just helped me out of the bar and back to my motel room, then you left. That was it.”

“You really don’t remember, do you?” He asked with excitement in his voice.

You stayed still in your place as Crowley continued to walk around you in a circle, time and time again. “I do- I don’t- I don’t remember.”

“You really don’t remember the fact that you wanted to kill John Winchester?” He questioned and now it all hit you. You remembered the whole night. You remembered that you told Crowley about hunting, thankfully he already knew about it or you would have revealed it to someone who might then start telling everyone. You thought back to sitting in the bar and telling Crowley your whole life story; how you father left you; how your mother was all you had; the fact that you were bullied for questioning your sexuality all through school; the amount of times you had sex with countless people just because you wanted to feel something other that hurt. He knew everything.

* * *

“You knew everything about me, didn’t you? You made sure you did your research before hurting my family so that you could cover your back. When we met in that bar… I thought you were kind. I guess I always made judgements too quickly.”

Once again, Dean paused the tape. Instantly, Crowley was a dead man walking. There was no chance that Dean would let this dick get away with it. But then he remembered the message at the beginning of tape one, you said there is someone making sure they always listen to the whole thing. Maybe this person watching is also making sure Dean or whoever is listening can’t react by hurting the others.

Dean stepped out of his room. He left the tape in the player but put the rest back inside the box so he could find them easily for the time he listened to them.

John, Mary and Sam were all in the library and looking for a case. “Hey,” Sam said as he noticed Dean. “I think we found us a case.”

“It was Crowley?” Dean snapped, changing the subject of the conversation completely.

“You’re only on the second tape?” Mary demanded. “What’s taking you so long?”

“It’s hard to listen to,” Dean replied.

“I listened to it in one night the first time,” Mary revealed. The first time? She listened to it more than once?

“We need to have a life outside of these tapes, okay?” John intervened. “Look, Sam has found us a case and we haven’t been on a hunt in weeks. I say we go check it out.”

“Not all of us need to go,” Sam said as he held his laptop in his hands and looked at the case. “You two can just go, I can tell you’re eager for a hunt. I can find another one for me and Dean.”

“Sure, we’ll take this one,” Mary agreed. “I’ll go get some stuff for the road,” she told John before walking off.

Sam walked away with Mary and said it was to help her pack things but Dean was sure it was so they could talk about the tapes. He looked over at his dad who was slouched in the chair; he must have been drunk again.

“Why are you all so fine with these tapes?” Dean demanded. “Why have you all listened to them and never brought them up? Why aren’t they affecting you?!“

“Dean, they did affect us. And no one on these tapes could tell anyone anything, Y/N said it was part of her legacy to be the one to tell everyone how they ruined her life,” John explained as he stood from his chair. He pushed himself up by leaning his hands on the table. He was barely fit to drive, Dean had no idea how he was going to hunt.

“We’re family,” Dean snapped. “We’re supposed to tell each other everything!”

“We used to the first time around. But since your mother and I came back, things have been different.” John shook his head as he walked past Dean to go and find Mary.

Dean shouted before John could leave, “what about Sam?”

“He’s not even on the tapes!” John hissed. “He was the first one to listen to them and now he’s making sure all of us do too.”

Dean was taken aback by what John had revealed. Sam isn’t on the tapes. Sam is the one that you talked about on the tapes when you said the people listening are always being watched. But how did Sam know what to do? Did he know that you were going to kill yourself and not stop it?

Dean had too many questions running through his head. He wanted to ask John about it but if he tried to speak a jumble of words would just pour out like vomit. He waited to speak to Sam, he wanted answers right from the source rather that trying to get more out of John.

Once your dad and Mary had headed off for the hunt, the boys were left alone in the library which gave Dean the perfect opportunity to ask questions.

“Dad told me that you’re not even on the tapes,” Dean revealed.

Sam was shaken by what Dean said. He knew he would eventually find out, but never this early. He hated that he would have to explain this all. “I can explain.”

“Did you know?” Dean questioned which left Sam a little confused.

Sam stared at his brother with furrowed brows, “did I know what?”

Dean had to take a second to realise what he was accusing him of. Him and Sam had done some terrible things over the years, but suggesting that he knew you were going to kill yourself and letting it happen wasn’t something he would do. Never. His eyes darted to the floor, he was trying to think of what to say but it didn’t matter; Sam figured out what he was implying.

“No,” Sam shook his head. “No, you can’t accuse me of that, Dean. Of course I didn’t know she was going to kill herself, do you really think I wouldn’t have done everything I could go stop her?”

“I know,” Dean agreed. “But that doesn’t explain anything, Sammy. You’re not on the tapes, but you were the first person to listen to them.”

“Y/N left me the box with a note on the inside,” Sam began to explain.

* * *

The box was sealed and ready. You made sure Sam busy in the kitchen before hiding in the drawer in his room. He wouldn’t need to go in there until tomorrow when he changed his clothes which meant he wouldn’t find the tapes until you were already dead… He wouldn’t find them before it was too late.

It was hidden under a few of his shirts to be sure that if he did go in the drawer to put something away he wouldn’t be able to see it. When you left his room, you had a quick thought, something changed inside of you and you started to believe that maybe you could beat this.

You pushed past it. You couldn’t let that get in the way of everything.

* * *

“A few days after she… Took her life,” he stuttered as he looked down at his hands. He tapped them against the table nervously. “I found the tapes in my drawer. Inside was a note, she explained about the tapes and that I needed to listen to them and make sure everyone on the tapes heard them. She wanted me to make sure that no one could hurt each other until everyone on there had heard them. I have the note here if you wanna read it.”

Sam pulled out his wallet and dug out the note. He held it and looked at it for a few seconds before passing it to his brother.

Dean took the crumpled, folded piece of paper and held it in his hands. “I don’t know if I can. Not yet. Can I keep it for a while?”

“Sure,” Sam nodded. “As long as you need.”

“This note is instructions on what to do?” Dean asked.

“She said it’s her only legacy…” Sam replied. “She wanted me to pass it on for her.”

“Why are you?” Dean questioned. “Why not just kill everyone on the tapes?”

“Because there are people on there that I care about. And Y/N begged me to not do anything until everyone had heard the tapes… I owe it to her to make her mark,” Sam explained. He stopped tapping on the table and moved his hand to his mouth where he nervously bit his nails. He didn’t know what to do with his hands, he felt awkward and weird. He finally just folded his arms over his chest and stood still.

“People you care about are on there? What about Crowley?” Dean snapped.

“We can do something about Crowley when you finish the tapes. You’re the last one on there,” Sam told him.

“The last one? So everyone else on there has heard them?” Dean asked but he already knew the answer.

Sam nodded. He didn’t want to answer anymore questions because what you wanted was for people to know your story through the tapes.

“I just have one more question. Just one more,” Dean promised.

Sam looked up from the floor and back over at Dean; he noticed how serious his face was. Sam knew he wouldn’t be prepared for whatever question was going to follow, but he never knew those words would leave Dean’s mouth.

“Did I kill Y/N?” His hands shook as he asked the question. He knew he would have to listen to his tape, but he would have to wait through everyone else’s first.

“We all killed her,” Sam replied, avoiding the real answer.

“That’s not what I asked,” Dean spat. “Sammy,” he spoke in a sad voice, “after listening to these tapes, and knowing what you know now, answer me that. Did I kill our little sister?”

Sam paused as he stared at his older brother. Dean had never looked so broken or damaged. There was no point in lying because Sam was a terrible liar. Dean knew what the answer was.. But he just needed to hear it. “Sam..”

“Yes,” Sam finally said. “Yes… You did.”

Dean just nodded. He heard what he needed to hear, that one simple word summed it all up for him. He was at the end because he was the final reason.

“But Dean, it doesn’t mean you did it on purpose.” Sam tried to convince him that somehow this wasn’t his fault. “It was just what happened, there was nothing you did or could’ve done… It was just the final straw that drove her to the edge.”

“She’s dead because of me,” Dean concluded.

“Dean!” Sam shouted because his brother wasn’t listening to him. “I already told you. We all killed her.”

There was no reply. He just walked off and went back to his room to listen to the tapes. Dean knew it wasn’t just his fault, but the fact that he even had a part to play in this all was something he would never forgive himself for.

Back in his room, he picked up the tape player on his bed, put the headphones back on and played the tape again. It was like an endless cycle. He felt like all he was doing was listening, leaving his room, listening, leaving his room. Maybe after this tape he should go on a hunt… Even if it’s just a hunt for Crowley. Dean is the last guy on the tapes, Sam said so himself. So if Dean went after Crowley it wouldn’t stop your story from being passed on.

He held it in his hands and once again pressed play.

“So now you know, Crowley, that the people on these tapes will find out that I did want to kill my own father. Everyone knows my secret, now it’s time they knew yours. You do remember why you killed my mother, right?”

* * *

“Why did you do it?” You cried. “What did she do to you?”

“Your mother had a lot of secrets,” Crowley revealed as he stood still in front of you. “There were a lot of things about her that you didn’t know, love. It’s even one of the reasons she wanted you to go live with daddy.”

“No,” you shook your head. “She sent me to live with him because she wanted me to know my father. She always said that a girl should think well of her father.”

“Not that you ever did, considering you wanted to kill him,“ he replied sarcastically.

“You’re still not answering my question,” you hissed. “What the hell could my mother have done to make you do this?”

“Your mother,” he said with power in his voice, “was a hunter.”

“What?” You demanded. “No! She had no idea about hunting, she would never have sent me to live with John if-”

“She sent you to live with John because she wanted you to have knowledge of the life,” Crowley interrupted. “And the reason she couldn’t be the one to teach you was because she was going to do the trials.”

“The trials? You mean like- like the ones that Sam-” you stuttered. “Like when Sam was going to close the gates of hell?”

“Exactly,” he nodded before walking back to his throne and sitting down. “She was going to destroy this place, I couldn’t let my kingdom go down.”

“It wouldn’t go down it would just be closed meaning demons can’t get out! You hate earth anyway, why would you want to stay? You had no good reason to kill her!” You screamed as you stepped closer to to him. You swore that for a minute you put the fear of God in him. “You fucking asshole!”

“I did what I had to do!“ He shouted back. “Your mother became a hunter when John left you because she wanted to protect you from demons.”

“Exactly, she wanted to protect me!” You screeched through tears of anger. “She was a kind woman who wanted to help the world and you killed her so you could feel powerful… You did it so that everyone in hell didn’t know that you are weak, Crowley.”

He knew that everything you were saying was true, but he couldn’t put up with it. Not if he wanted to keep up his image as this big, scary King that ruled hell. He pushed his hand out and as if by magic you flew back into one of the pillars. When you stood up he was standing directly in front of you with a knife pressed against your face. It dug into your skin and cut along your cheek, causing you to whimper.

“If you speak a word of this to any of the Winchesters, and I mean any of them, I will feed them to my hell hounds and make sure you’re the last one and that you suffer. And even before that your secret will get out and they may even try to kill you themselves. It’s not like you ever fit in with them anyway,” he growled. “Do not try me, Y/N. I’ve already killed someone you love, you weren’t there to stop it. Don’t let it happen again.”

Crowley snapped his fingers and you were back in your mothers bedroom. The warm blood was dripping from your cheek and onto the floor. Your moms body was gone, the only thing to show that she was once there was the pool of blood on her sheet. He must have taken her to hell when he sent you back home.

Now you just felt numb. Nothing could happen to change your mood right now. Someone could literally come running at you with a knife and you would just let them. You didn’t care at all because at least you would be feeling something.

The only thing you had left now was going back to live with John. You didn’t want to; the only plus side was that you would get to live with your brothers again. You didn’t really know what to feel about Mary yet, you hadn’t known her long enough but you had a strong feeling that she didn’t like you.

You rummaged through your backpack and found your phone. You called the only person you thought you could trust right now. Sam.

You clicked on his name and waited. After three rings, he finally picked up. “Hey, Y/N. Look, I’m sorry about what dad did to you, I know that he regrets-”

“Sam,” you spoke. Your voice was at a low tone, the kind that if someone spoke in that way anyone would know something was up. “Sa- Sammy.”

“Y/N? What’s-”

“It’s my mom,” you sobbed. “She’s, she’s dead.”

“Y/N, where are you? Stay right where you are I’m coming to get you. Dean!” He shouted to his brother. You heard a door open, Sam must have stepped outside when you called. “Get the keys we need to go get Y/N.”

“Sam,” you cried. “I- I don’t know what happened. It smells like sulphur so it must have been a demon… But I don’t know who.”

“Did you see the demon?” Sam asked as you heard the Impala door shut and the engine roar. They were on their way. “What did it look like?”

“I don’t remember… It cut across my cheek with a knife but everything just happened too quickly,” you lied. “I just, I need you to come here and get me.”

Sam stayed on the phone to you until they arrived. Once they were there they broke the door down and ran upstairs to find you in your mothers room. “The demon took her,” you told them as they came in.

Dean held Ruby’s knife in his hand firmly as he moved around her room to see if anyone was still there. He then walked out of the bedroom and went to look around the rest of the house. You weren’t paying attention to what Sam was doing until you felt his body weigh down the bed next to you.

You both sat next to each other on your moms bed in silence. Anything he said wouldn’t have been enough, so he wrapped his arms around you from the side and held you close. That’s all he could do and the comfort was what you needed. Sam and Dean were the only people left that you considered as family.

It felt like all you could do was cry in the arms of you big brother and hope that his comfort would be enough to not only help you through losing your mother, but help you forget that you have to lie for the man that murdered her.

“This is all my fault,” you whispered.

“No, Y/N don’t say that,” Sam replied as he kept his arms around you. “This isn’t your fault. I promise you are going to get through this. We love you.”

You simply shook your head. “I don’t deserve to be loved.”

* * *

“You ruined my life Crowley,” you concluded. “Have you ever heard that saying, ‘keep your mouth shut and your eyes open’? Well, that’s what I did all those years. I thought my brothers would figure it out, because sometimes silence speaks more than words. But they never did… So now that I’m dead I don’t have to keep my mouth shut. And my eyes may not be open anymore but I’m glad that I can open everyone else’s to what you really are. I can open yours to what you really are. A monster and a coward.”

And that was it. That was the end of tape two. Dean knew what Crowley had done to hurt you and he had never been more angry. Rage took over his body as he thought about that accent in a black suit destroying your life and forcing you to lie to your family. Crowley didn’t just break your family, he broke your trust which meant you never felt safe with trusting someone ever again.

Those were issues that followed you until the day you died. You were hurt and alone and that was all the fault of Crowley. The worst thing Dean realised was that there were 11 tapes left of awful things that people had done to you.

He would have to sit through even more of these and know that people had hurt you and he didn’t do anything to stop it. He would have to listen to everyone else’s tapes.

But worst of all, at the end of it… He would have to listen to his.

Tags~

@weirdrandomunknownperson @you-didnt-see-that-cuming @thegreatficmaster@jarpadobrien @thejulietfarciertlove @bluecookiesandbooks @little-miss-padfoot @thisnoticeisnotworthnoticing @catcherofdreams22 @fabulouslycassie@uchihababeee @lust-for-pan @chloemwinchester @mydarkxsoul @reyna-809 @it-is-too-hard @wolfshifter4life @uselesspotatonoodles @anonbyblog @the-freaks-struggle @novopsi @stop-it-ew @caitsymichelle13 @drbagels123 @craving-cas @herbscottie67 @alira100 @queenpammy13 @supernatural-fangirl13 @hayleighloatx @thelocalunicorn @ayleenw @little-castiel13 @girl-next-door-blog-blog @fandomtrasshftw @to-stars-and-back @musical-potterheadss @amazing-fandom-freak @peachyxiu @garnet–shadow @harleenq4life @fangirlpastel @hugs-and-star-wars @wayward-girl @spontaneousam @forevershadeddark @sonofabitch-spn @deanandsamsbitch @starshininginthedark @wheresthekillswitch @the-impala-to-my-dean @icesprintstring @justcallmemrsbarnes @newtthesalamander @midnighthunter13 @mikealsonlover @imincastielsarmy @jediviolet @fangirlingfanatic2442 @percussiongirl2017 @sandmanland @donnaintx @iwriteaboutdean @insane-hamilton-imagines @fanboyswhereare-you @highonpastries @annabethgranger123 @miss-miep @damiansbeloved @mandylove1000 @the-amaranthine @winchesters-favorite-girl @itsssmichelleee @notmoose45 @nieleben

Lisa’s Daughter

So at work I always turn Supernatural on in the break room. It’s on TNT for 3 hours Monday-Friday & right now they’re in late season 6 with Ben & Lisa. I was watching it today & was like WHAT IF LISA HAD LIKE A 4 YEAR OLD DAUGHTER WHEN ALL THIS WENT DOWN. The following is what down in my mind.

Originally posted by livingthegifs

-You were super shy at first but quickly warmed up to the new man living in the house.

-Lisa was worried what Dean would do at first when you would come in to sleep with her when you had nightmares, however he always invited you to stay with them and would hold you until you fell back asleep.

-Dean would wake up early with you and together you’d make breakfast on the weekends, usually you pretending to help while munching on the food.

-Dean would take you to the park and be crazy protective of you while you played.

-The first time you accidentally called him “daddy” he froze and you thought you did something wrong.

-So many nicknames, babygirl, sweetheart, princess, just to name a few.

-You’d stand on a box between Dean and Ben while Dean taught your brother how to fix cars.

-When your family stayed with Bobby while Dean dealt with the djinn you told Bobby after you ate his last popsicle, “Don’t worry, my daddy will be back soon and we can go home.” (which nearly broke Bobby’s heart)

-Cried when Dean went on the road with Sam.

-”Daddy why you gotta leave us like our other daddy did?”

-Talking to Dean nightly while he was away.

-Sleeping with Ben every night because you thought the monsters were going to come back and get you.

-So excited when you saw Dean in the hallway that night, but became instantly scared of him when he pushed Ben into the wall.

-Told the demons who took you, Ben, and your mom that Dean was gonna save you.

-”I don’t wanna be you guys when my dad gets here.”

-Clung onto the back of his shirt while he carried your mom out of the warehouse.

-Dean held you in his arms while you sat in the waiting room at the hospital, telling you that Lisa was going to be alright.

-”You aren’t gonna leave us again, right daddy?”

It’s an Older Sibling Thing (Part 2): Please Come Home

Characters: Dean Winchester x Friend!Reader, Sam Winchester x Friend!Reader

Length: 1544+ words

TW: Descriptions of Injuries. Character death. Just sadness and angst all over (I made myself cry writing this tbh)

A/N: There was so many interest in a Part 2, and at first I wasn’t going to write one, but after my exam yesterday, I got into a flow of writing it, and I finished it! Hope you guys like it! Feedback is encouraged!

Part 1


“What the hell, Dean?!” Sam shouted. He had given his older brother the silent treatment from the moment they left the motel weeks ago. But seeing Dean, relaxing on the couch, with a beer in hand, not even fazed that he had kicked out one of their closest friend irked Sam to no end. “What did you say to her?!”

The oldest Winchester rolled his eyes, crossing his arms in defiantly. “I didn’t say anything that wasn’t true.”

“Why’d she leave?”

“Beats me.” Dean shrugged, taking another gulp of his drink.

“She said she understands why you kicked her out,” Sam said in a more quieter tone, changing his tactics.

“Good. At least she knows she was a selfish-” 

“Dean!” Sam exclaimed, shocked that his brother would say such things about someone who they were close friends with.

“How can you not be angry?” Dean asked. “Because of her, you were hurt, Sam! It’s my job to protect you, and she was in the way of that.”

“You’re an idiot, you know that?” 

Dean scoffed.

“She didn’t tell the demons anything. You think the demons haven’t picked up a few things from us?”

“What the hell are you talking about?” Dean asked, his eyes narrowing in curiosity.

“They only kidnapped Y/N for her phone. They used the same tactic as we do when we’re tracking someone- all you need is a phone number.”

“Son of a bitch.”

“Yea. You fucked up, Dean. Whatever you said to her, you fucked up.”

“Sammy-”

“No. Fix this, Dean. I was my sister back.” Sam shook his head, walking away to his room. 

“Sist- What?”

The hazel-eyed man stopped, turning his slightly around to look at his brother’s confused face. “She’s always been family to us- to me at least. And you kicking her out like that doesn’t change that.” 

“Dammit,” Dean cursed under his breath, watching his younger brother walk away. “Fuck.” He closed his eyes tightly, trying to think of ways to fix his mess.

Keep reading

Okay okay those lasts two seconds

1. Sam acknowledging his demon blood addiction and dean hypocrisy. (Thank you I wanted this)


2. “What about Cas” I CANT EVEN PROCESS THAT WAS A BREAKDOWN. DEAN CONFIRMED HE CANT TRUST JACK BECAUSE HE PLAYED A ROLE IN KILLING CAS. I REPEAT. DEAN CANT TRUST JACK BECAUSE HE PLAYED A ROLE IN KILLING CAS!!!!


3. Jacks face.


4. That four second clip of my baby


5. Why was misha doing with his legs

Back to the Future: Part 1

Summary: Imagine getting sent to the future and making love with future Cas. Imagine coming back home and finding out you’re pregnant.

Pairing: Cas x reader

Word Count: 3.5k (YAY ME)

Warnings: brief descriptions of smut, language, angst, pregnancy, a cliffhanger ending bc im an asshole

A/N: so regular Dean is just called Dean and future Dean is called future Dean BC LOGIC IS AWESOME hahaha.

also, welcome to a new series, my friends! should be a wild n fun time :-) feedback is so greatly appreciated!

Originally posted by savingpeoplegiffingthings

You blinked slowly, your eyes squinting open as you took in your new surroundings. It looked like you were in some kind of…shack?

With a groan, you tried to sit up, and that’s when you realized that your hands were cuffed to a chair. You turned to your left and saw Dean in the same exact situation as you, and you knew this wasn’t looking too good.

Keep reading

Hunter Survival Guide - Part 1 |10K followers + 6 months birthday celebration|

Here we are ! 10,000 followers, 10,000 little demons aboard, even more now, in 6 months of existence today ! It’s just insane and awesome ! Thank you so much !
We love you ! ❤️

 First entry : What you must have with you  

  ✦ Holy water. This is the first weapon against demons. Well, at least with that you’ll be able to slow them down.  

  ✦ Salt. Coarse salt. It’s very useful when we’re talking about ghosts : it acts like a shelter they can’t cross and with that, it’s an excellent protection against them. Plus, it’s essential to burn a corpse! (Nothing’s wrong with with sentence, is it?)

  ✦ Oil. Again, it’s quite essential to burn a body when it’s necessary.

  ✦ Holy Oil. With that, you’ll be able to trap and burn angels! Because, it’s a fact, they’re not that lovely and kind.

  ✦ Anti-possession tattoo. Unless you want to become a demon or God knows what. But otherwise, this is maybe the more useful tattoo you can do.  

  ✦ Gun | Riffle. Now we’re talking! And with that, we’ve to talk about bullets too. Coarse salt bullets for ghosts, bullet with an inlaid devil’s trap for demons, and of course witch killing bullets and silver bullets for shapeshifters and werewolves ! But don’t forget classic bullets too, it can be useful. Well, we have to admit something : if you have The Colt, it’s the icing on the cake.  

  ✦ Angel Blade. Because yeah, angels aren’t that kind, we all know that. And if you don’t have an angel as an ally, or if you’re not an angel yourself, maybe it’s safer to have something to protect yourself, don’t you think?  

  ✦ Demon-killing knife. If you don’t have time for an exorcism, this is what you need! Its name speaks for itself. But Dean and Sam Winchester are the only one who have it. Oops. Run little, run.      

  ✦ Silver knife. You know, one of those your grandma keep since 1920 for all the family reunion. She’ll never see one is missing. And to expose a shifter? It’s epic. And why a knife if just something silver works? Because you’ll need to defend yourself of course!      

  ✦ Anything made of iron. One advice : it’s useful against ghost.      

  ✦ Matches. Because you never know when you’ll have to burn a body. Or two.

  ✦ Flashlight. Because the night is dark and full of terror. And monsters. Yeah, we couldn’t resume flashlight’s utility better than Melisandre.

  ✦ M&M’s. What? First, if you’re angry, it’s a good solution, and second, it’s better than bread or little rocks when you’re lost into the forest! Or if you’re kidnapped by a wendigo and if you want your brother to find you, it works too.

  ✦ Beers. Yeah, you read well. After a hard hunt, it’s the best way to be cool, chilling on your car hood. And if you don’t drink alcohol, you can pick whatever you want.

  ✦ Mean of transport. Because wherever you’re hunting monsters, you’ll have to move. So choose your way ! You can be like Dean and just drive all around your country, or using trains, planes, etc. It’s up to you ! 

Second entry : What you must know to save your ass, and maybe your friends’  

  ✦ The exorcism. This is a must. If you want to save your ass from a demon of course. This is the basic one :

 "Exorcizamus te, omnis immundus spiritus, omnis satanica potestas, omnis incursio infernalis adversarii, omnis congregatio et secta diabolica, ergo draco maledicte, ut ecclesiam tuam secura, tibi facias libertate servire, te rogamus, audi nos!“  

  ✦ All the following symbols : Devil’s Trap, Banishing Sigil, Reaper Trap. If you wanna survive now, this is the minimum to know.

My thoughts on SPN episode 12x12:

  • The waitress flirting with Cas awwwww.
  • LOL Dean calling the flirtation as a teachable moment.
  • Ummmm I’m gonna need Cas to NOT be bleeding out OKAY!?
  • Why oh why oh WHY IS CAS UNABLE TO FIGHT ANYMORE????? Week after week this continues to confuse me. 
  • Oooo a yellow eyed demon. 
  • Did Cas seriously just get harpooned by what appears to be Michael’s spear? Like what the damn hell???
  • What is Mary even doing??? Why is she pulling everyone into the Brit’s bullshit???? 
  • OMG what was that Dean head nod to Cas at the restaurant I can’t lol. 
  • This Cas telling Dean he’s dying scene is too much for my heart. 
  • YAASSSSS CROWLEY. I’ve missed him. 
  • Ah yes a casual history lesson while Cas dies in the background. 
  • Wait. So you’re telling me the only reason Crowley decided to take over hell was because of a pep talk? Yeah, right. Okay. 
  • “The things we’ve shared together. They have changed me.” OMGGGG
  • FOLLOWED BY “I LOVE YOU” !????!?????!!! 
  • HOLY FUCK ARE THEY REALLY GOING TO KILL CAS? THEY JUST HAD HIM GIVE AN EMOTIONAL I’M DYING SPEECH I JUST. I CANNOT.
  • Did Mary SERIOUSLY not give this dude his box of golden light back? Like what is WRONG with her? Those are your SONS. 
  • SAM FUCKING WINCHESTER IS THE BEST THERE EVER WAS. 
  • CROWLEY IS ALSO THE BEST THERE EVER WAS. THANK YOU JESUS. 
  • Cas is healed. I can stop having a goddamn panic attack. THAT WAS TOO CLOSE, SPN WRITERS. TOO. CLOSE.
  • Mary, you’re on my goddamn list. Not even the fact that you just called Cas “one of your boys” is redeeming you right now. I’m gonna need a minute.
  • The colt. Seriously? THAT’S what this was about? What is this, season 5?
  • Mark P? You’re back? As Lucifer? So he’s not in the egg? Or is Crowley just hallucinating? Wait. Is this ACTUALLY season 5? 

In conclusion: Cas IS devastatingly handsome, Dean, thank you for noticing. 

You Understand, Right? (Part 10): You Don’t Understand

Characters: Dean Winchester x Sister!Reader / Friend!Reader, Sam Winchester x Sister!Reader / Friend!Reader

Length: 840+ words

TW: Nothing in this chapter!

A/N: I LOVE THIS CHAPTER SO MUCH. It’s another short chapter (I’m sorry ;;) but I really like how it turned out. 

Feedback is appreciated (AND SO ARE YOU)!

SERIES MASTERLIST


Dean couldn’t believe what was happening.

Y/N took the Colt.

He carefully followed her out of their motel room, and to the hallway. “Where are you going?” he demanded, making her freeze mid-step. She cradled the gun closer against her pounding chest. “Don’t make me ask again- Where are you going with the Colt?” He enunciated each word with a step forward, stopping just a feet behind her. Dean’s heart was beating against his ribs with every step he took closer to her. 

Keep reading

Monster

Word Count: 2039

Pairing: Past Dean x Reader

Warnings: Language, SPN typical violence, Canon divergence, Torture, Major character death

A/N: Written for @nichelle-my-belle ‘s angst challenge. My prompt was “It takes a monster to destroy a monster.” This gave me such a hard time and it’s kind of erratic and choppy and doesn’t make much sense to me, but I’ve given up on it and it’s just being posted.

Follow up to Masterpieces


“Dean, please. This isn’t you.” You begged, tears streaming down your face, trying desperately to reach the Dean you once knew. You were tied spread eagle to the rack, practically naked, scraps of clothes barely covering you. “Don’t let him ruin you.”

 

“Oh, but it is me.” Dean slid the razor from your neck down your chest before finally shoving it in, next to your heart. You let out an ear piercing scream and sobbed yourself hoarse while Dean continued to carve and Alastair put you back together, letting Dean carve you to pieces over and over and over.

 

Dean woke with a start; sweat dripping down his face and tears in his eyes, your name on his lips. “Dean?” Sam questioned. “Y/N again?”

“What I did to her…” Dean swallowed thickly, choking back tears. “Sammy, I tore her apart. She begged me not to and I just laughed at her and did it anyway.”

“Dean, it wasn’t you.” Sam sat next to Dean on the bed, trying to figure out a way to comfort him.

Keep reading

Cas is the Central Focus of The End

When I first saw the episode The End (5X04) I struggled with it, and I think a lot of people did and still do struggle with it because it’s heavy. Thanks to wonderful meta writers (looking at you lurea) and several re-watches in order to process it, it is actually one of my Top Five Favorites. This episode is a masterpiece.

Castiel is the CENTRAL FOCUS of The End (5X04).
Specifically Castiel in relation to Dean.

Okay so it is truly a layered episode (aren’t they all?). The brothers have gone separate ways and the main point to drive home is that they’re stronger together rather than apart. This is the lesson Dean learns from the start to the finish of the episode. But everything in between is focused on the Dean and Cas relationship. Because saying no to Michael doesn’t just ruin Dean, Sam and the world. It wrecks and kills Cas.

This future (aka Endverse) was shown to Dean by the angel Zachariah in order to manipulate Dean into doing what heaven wanted (saying yes to Michael and being his vessel).

Parallel that with this:

A human-angel hybrid named Jack showed Castiel a future in order to manipulate him into doing what he wanted (keep him and his vessel, aka mother, safe until birth).

I believe Cas’ vision of The Future (12X19) includes Dean Winchester, just as the vision of Dean’s future in The End included Castiel.
Say it with me: circular narrative.




Even the titles of each episode make me want to squee and roll around on the floor in delight. Now, we were not told that Dean was part of Cas’ vision so don’t go making t-shirts. I think we received some misdirection about Cas’ vision in 12X23 so for now this is MY head canon that Dean is in Cas’ vision of the future.

12x23 has an apocalyptic world where the Winchesters are facing off with Lucifer and Castiel ends up dead. Lucifer did say we’d all end up here despite things being changed and altered. ‘Here’ is relative, not exactly the same date or the same garden, etc.

But Jack, our naked little angel-man, has superseded his father in showing Castiel a future beyond death, beyond The End. We didn’t get a resolution to The End in 5X04. We saw Lucifer as the victor. I do not think Lucifer will be the victor any longer. We may have “…ended up here,” but the results will not be the same. Lucifer will be defeated. Jack and TFW will be key in that.

But I digress because I didn’t start this post to even talk about 12x23, though it definitely parallels. So you’re welcome for that tangent. Back to the regularly scheduled program…

*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*

A lot of people believe that Endverse was something Zachariah made up. Considering that Dean kept the Camp Chitaqua photo (we see Mary looking at it in 12x02 - “Mamma Mia”), I believe it was an actual timeline that was very, very, real. Especially as we’re coming full circle with the story, which felt like a forgotten plot for a very long time. Thank you, Dabb!

The issue isn’t whether it was real or not, though. It could be faker than fake but the message is still clear: show Dean what will happen to his loved ones, especially Castiel, if he says no to Michael. Zachariah made sure that Castiel was at the front and center of Dean’s visit to Endverse because what does matter is what Dean takes away from the experience.

Zachariah knew.  

Unbeknownst to him, Cas was heaven’s Trojan Horse. The angels used Castiel as a pawn. Have you ever wondered why they never just killed him for his doubts and for trying to warn Dean in that dream (4X20)?! Consider this: instead of smiting him for disobedience (angels have proven to kill for much less) they reprogram him again and again, keeping him close to Dean because Dean trusts Cas. In fact they see that there is something much, much deeper between Dean and Cas than I think those two were aware of at the time.

“When a claim is laid on a living soul it leaves a mark, a brand,” Castiel tells us. (6X03 “The Third Man). Cas literally claimed Dean on his rescue mission to get Dean out of Hell, whether he meant to or not. The implications of such an act are not written out explicitly for us but we see that these two are connected, bonded. Faithless Dean had faith in Cas without a whole lot to go on almost from the get-go.

When Dean had sex with Anna, she laid her hand over Cas’ handprint tentatively. She was fascinated by Castiel’s mark and would know a lot more about what exactly it means than we do. I think her pause over the print tells us it does mean something significant. 

Anna knew.


Uriel, in another episode, calls Cas’ affection for Dean a weakness. He says it with a cocky self-assured smirk. He knows that he and the other angels can use it against them.

Uriel knew.

So anyway, Zachariah WANTED Dean to see how broken, addicted and suicidal Cas would become because of Dean’s choice. They knew that the state of Cas’ well-being would be a huge influence, if not the biggest influence, in coercing Dean to do as they wanted. The focus of that future, Dean’s future, was Cas.

They threaten Dean with Cas, as a metaphorical hostage. “See, Cas here? See how you have this intimacy with him as the world crumbles around you? But see how fucked and broken you’ve become? You’re a monster. See how bad that fucks Cas up? You get Cas killed. All because you say no to Michael.”

The angels knew.

Do you comprehend what I’m tellin’ ya? Past!Dean’s sole focus wasn’t the Colt, wasn’t Lucifer, wasn’t himself and it wasn’t even all about Sam. Sure, those things are in there but they are honorable mentions. Everything came back to Cas.

The. Focus. Is. Cas.

We do see Dean interact with his future self, with Chuck, etc. But most of the dialogue in Endverse is with and about Cas. Cas is shown in the center of most shots, in closeups and isn’t far from Dean in most scenes. Hell, when future!Dean kills one of his infected men he says to everyone else, “I’m not going to lie to you. Me and him got a messed up situation going,” and we assume he’s talking about past!Dean.

But the camera and the remaining men look beyond past!Dean and he follows their line of sight to a blurry Cas who then comes into focus. Because… The. Focus. Is. Cas. Everything else is background noise: Luci and archangel vessels and Sam and the apocalypse.

Despite his crap choices to torture a demon to find the Colt, and to kill his Croatoan-infected people, future!Dean still cared about what Cas thought of him and that is why he guiltily made the comment about Cas. Dean’s future heavily included Cas in a very intimate, private way. So private that the writers did not come right out and tell us but instead showed us by carefully constructed omission. Can we all curl up into balls and cry now?!

*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*

The whole “…got a messed up situation going,” is just that: Cas is still in love with Dean even though he’s become a monster. Cas could have and should have left long ago, but he didn’t. It probably perplexed Dean’s men. Because Cas wasn’t just sticking around to kill Lucifer (in fact he didn’t agree with the idea AT ALL in 2009 AND in Endverse). He was solely there for Dean.

Remember when Cas said he was going to watch Dean murder the world (10X22)? Do you think for one moment Dean didn’t go, “Shit, he really will stand back and watch me murder the world. He did exactly that in Endverse.”

THAT MOMENT in 10X22 is when he knows Endverse wasn’t some manip from Zachariah. In 10X22, Dean visibly swallows and looks away at Cas’ words because they affect him. He had enough humanity in him in that moment to feel something there. He does still lose control and he beats Cas, who doesn’t fight back, but something (Cas’ plea) momentarily breaks through the curse.

Then what does Dean do? He isolates himself, gets blacked-out drunk and suicidal, destroys his hotel room in a fit of rage and emotional pain. This is a moment that “hurt something awful” and he didn’t actually go through with killing Cas this time. I’m sure he’s imagining how much worse he’d be off if he HAD killed Cas.

THIS is when he becomes desperate enough to get rid of the Mark, when he realizes how badly he’s hurt Cas and is becoming a monster. It wasn’t when he beat Sam or murdered rooms full of people. Nope, HIS WEAKNESS IS CAS. Dean is so desperate to not become “that thing again,” that thing that he knows could make him kill Cas, that he’s willing to kill his brother with Death’s scythe. Dean knows how close he was to going over the edge.

This is another reason I believe Zachariah’s vision was real, because Cas predictably cannot and will not hurt Dean, even if it means he destroys the world. The angels knew, long before Dean and even Cas knew, that Cas was Dean’s weakness. How flipping crazy is that?! And yikes, I didn’t mean to stumble into 10X22 but when the writers intricately tie multiple story lines together it just cannot be avoided.

*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*

Back to Endverse. Future!Dean turned into his father: a ruthless, cold-hearted, vengeful shell of a man (something Bobby told him, more than once, not to become when Dean suffered loss because it is canon that this is what Dean can become). A demon stole Mary from John and he became, in Dean’s words, an obsessed bastard. A demon stole Sam from Dean and he became the obsessed bastard.

But is he all bad? We can see the faintest hint of hurt on future!Dean’s face when Cas says, “What? I like past you,” when past!Dean makes a comment about torture. But I think Dean loses his last sliver of humanity when he sends Cas to his death. Past!Dean had said, “You mean you’re gonna feed your friends into a meat grinder? Cas, too?” Cas was singled out as being significantly more important than everyone else and past!Dean could not even comprehend that future!Dean would sacrifice Cas of all people. *sobbing*

Dean meets Samifer after future!Dean gets his neck broken and that is when we get back to the plot of the brothers being archangel meat suits and how badly this does affect Dean. Because it isn’t just his future with Cas at stake. Sammy’s life is at stake. The world is at stake. 

*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*

Zachariah pulls Dean back to our reality and gives the whole spiel on hoping Dean has learned his lesson. Cas is not brought up in this conversation and he doesn’t need to be. Because out of fucking nowhere he pulls Dean to safety where he was still waiting on the side of the road, in the dark, when Dean told him to pop in in the morning. Why is that significant?

I think Dean was praying/longing/reaching out to Cas. So Cas pulls him out and throws out the line about having an appointment but we all know the appointment wasn’t for that time or that place. He was saving Dean the embarrassment of being told, “I heard you praying in your mind when I know you’re still weirded out by praying.” A few seconds later Cas asks Dean how Zachariah found him. Damn it, y’all, Cas freaking FELT Dean’s prayer and/or longing. No one can tell me otherwise.

The narrative and cameras have once again swung back around to Cas. Dean gives him such a look of tenderness. He steps close and places a hand on Cas’ shoulder and gives the infamous, “Don’t ever change,” line.

Cas is Dean’s beacon of light, of hope, of faith. Zachariah was just threatening Dean and here is Dean melting into a puddle of heart eyes, invading Cas’ personal space to touch him, and even giving a bit of a smile (albeit a sad one).

With Cas watching over him, Dean feels safe. He trusts him. He pulls out his phone and calls Sam to make amends, to hopefully thwart Endverse from happening. So that Sam doesn’t become Lucifer’s puppet, so that Dean doesn’t become a monster and so that Cas doesn’t ever change.

The End is honestly very, very sad. Which is why it’s awesome to know that there is still The Future.

*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*

So where am I going with this? I just wanted you all to know that no matter what is changed, whatever is altered, Dean will end up with Cas. He had a crap vision of a crap future with Cas that ended in death. But Cas has received a new vision, a better vision, a hope-filled and faith-filled vision of a future that I wholeheartedly believe includes Cas and Dean together, in a happy endgame.

Jack is going to overcome Lucifer’s plans of destruction, which is a WHOLE other meta about fathers versus sons, and their legacies and all that jazz but I’ll leave you with this:

Lucifer LOVED his father, God, but was punished and abandoned.
Dean LOVED John but was abused and neglected.
Castiel LOVED Heaven/Humanity but was broken and brainwashed.

Jack, a son, is going to break the cycle, y’all. He may have looked creepy AF in 12x23 but I believe he is going to serve an amazing purpose to the narrative in subverting early SPN plots of self-destructive, codependent, suicidal and depressing behavior. It may be shaky at first but Jack will learn. Baby steps!

I CANNOT WAIT!

*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*

I talk about 5X04 a lot and I believe every single one of my fics includes mentions of Endverse!Cas. To me, this was the turning point in Dean and Cas’ relationship and one of several reasons why Dean didn’t want to allow himself to fall in love with Cas, and didn’t want Cas to change. Just one reason, of course, as there are others. It’s complicated, all of it. But for me this episode, which followed the Desitel-heavy “Free to Be You and Me”, was a bad blow to Dean’s heart. He knew a future with Cas was a possibility but at what cost?

Obvs they’ll overcome because The End was dark but The Future is bright.

*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+* 


I leave you with a reminder from Chuck:

Past!Dean: “Hey, Chuck, is Cas still here?”
Chuck: “Yeah, I don’t think Cas is going anywhere.”

Chuck knows.

TheTwistedWillow
June 20, 2017
Edited 6/27/17 for typos but there are probably still some. *SHRUGS*

juniper-books  asked:

So just to clarify, you don't think Destiel will ever be made explicitly canon, correct? I value your meta and find it among the most precise, so I feel it's pretty telling if you feel this way after so many years of analyzing the show.

Okay so here’s where “think” could translate into either “hope” or “expect”.  I hope Destiel will become canon because I’m looking at the structure of what the characters WANT and what the show is telling me is the roadblocks to this (most of which have been eliminated as I’ve been documenting them for over 5 years now and honestly, why create roadblocks if you’re never planning on someone to overcome them??) and I’m watching the show systematically eliminate them all.  I therefore hope (painfully) because I expect.  A while back I compared this to Amara’s drive and God showing back up.  Amara wanted to confront God so I knew that structurally it was inevitable that God show back up (and, in fact, the whole season built to this happening), and even though I personally didn’t not particularly WANT that to happen it was coming nevertheless.  Same thing with Cas on a lot of his actions.  I knew he was going to say YES to Lucifer looking at his development structure and the foreshadowing but I didn’t WANT this to happen.  Same thing with Mark Sheppard exiting the show.  As soon as Lucifer got a permanent vessel crafted it spelled Crowley’s certain death (along with other noted moments in S12).  Same thing with demon!Dean.  I saw Dean was looking to punish himself and saw all the death foreshadowing from early on and knew he was going to be a demon for sure the closer and closer we got to the end and by a certain episode it was a definite 1000% sure thing, so much so that the discussion made most people who read meta not be surprised in the least bit. 

Destiel is in the same boat for me, but whereas I didn’t want any of that above, but still knew we were going to get it, I actually WANT Destiel to happen.  Because of this distinction I’m going to naturally be more wary when discussing this and feel the need to document the show’s structural efforts more and more.  You know how Sam WANTED and HOPED that Mary was alive but was fully aware he might be kidding himself?  That’s me in regards to Destiel (which is why only specific themes: “clarification”, “saying things aloud”, are even bringing me out of “meta retirement”), except Sam has nothing but his gut instinct to go on in regards to Mary and instead I have this huge analysis (from inside and outside the show) that all points to one increasingly inevitable conclusion, not unlike realizing Demon!Dean was coming with compounding evidence.  That’s what Destiel is to me.  

It all boils down to really what the writers want to do, how much they want to clarify the desire “Please stay with me because _______”.  

The more platonic reasons/text they eliminate (by having Cas continue to leave after them), the greater the chance for romantic text.  It’s that simple. One thing I always encourage people to remember, however, is that Supernatural is an OLD show, it operates within the rules of the Old Gods of television, who are stuck in their ways and would never survive as a new show with even worse criticism than they get now.  Destiel is like television’s last chance to get a really long slow burn same sex couple because most new shows simply canonize their queer characters explictly early and set up quick romances in order to get representation points as fast as possible.  I don’t know of any New God show that tries for a slow burn.  I don’t watch new television tho so I am probably just oblivious here, idk.  

I hope this answers your question.  It’s not that I don’t logically think we aren’t going to get explicit romantic text based on the current structure, I think the chances are greater than ever actually, but actively hoping for it mostly stresses me out, but greater still I feel a need to continue to document the show’s structural progress and efforts simply because I find it all fascinating and think the show is so layered and complex and that for this alone that it always deserves academic discussion.

You know, I feel like Castiel’s intense need to always give Dean peace and keep him from having to do the morally questionable work always feels like penance for what happened in On the Head of a Pin

Castiel is the only one alive who saw Dean in hell. He is the only one who witnessed him at what Dean considers his very worst, when he took pleasure in causing other’s pain. Sam knows how much internal pain and conflict this caused Dean, but he was never actually witness to it. I think it’s up there among Dean’s greatest fears (after losing Sam of course), going dark side again and hurting innocents. Even when he was a demon, he still had enough of Dean Winchester in him to fight off that impulse. Crowley kept him sated by feeding him demons to harm because even Crowley knew making Dean hurt innocents would be stepping over a dangerous line. It’s why Dean was willing to be launched into space and sacrifice himself forever, to avoid becoming the thing that fucked him up the worst.

Back in season 4 Castiel only knew that Dean was the Righteous Man, had a mission God wanted him to do, and that he was Alastair’s best torture student. And he had seen Dean in hell enjoying the torture. So when he commanded Dean to return to torture, it was with some trepidation (I mean, even then Cas was starting to fall, starting to “ express emotions, the doorways to doubt”) but he still insisted upon it because he didn’t truly understand how bad it would be for Dean. But then things went south. Dean was darkening right there in the room with Alastair and Cas began to doubt. And when Alastair got free and nearly killed Dean, I think Cas felt immense guilt and began to truly change how he saw his life and Dean’s and broadened his role as Dean’s protector from just physical to emotional. 

It feels like so many of Cas’ decisions since that day are his own self-imposed penance for that decision because they are explicitly to give Dean peace and save him from ever having to harm an innocent and become what he saw in hell again. In the green room, Cas was trying to shield Dean from the pain of seeing Sam free Lucifer. Season 5 was all about saving Dean from saying yes to Michael because the ensuing battle would harm millions of innocents and Dean’s psyche. Saving Dean from becoming involved in shady dealings with Crowley and a heavenly war was Cas’ entire storyline of season 6. In season 8, Cas was willing once again to die and be locked in Heaven to give Dean peace on earth. He avoided Dean when angels were after him to keep him out of the fight and was willing to stay by his side literally forever when he was a demon to protect him from the pain of harming innocents. 

So now, Cas going to heaven where many of his siblings hate him and stealing the Colt to go kill Kelly on his own are very much in character and follow the trend of Cas being willing to take on just about anything to give Dean peace and keep him from having to go down that path that he first witnessed in hell. I imagine for Cas, there is no worse fate than allowing Dean to live with the pain of harming an innocent again, when he can take that on himself. Cas may make some terrible decisions, but every one seems to be out of love and self-sacrifice for Dean. 

Everyone may be flailing about the incredible romantic implications of the giften mix tape, but let’s not let that overshadow another grad gesture of love on the part of Cas: to once again be willing to even damage his own soul by killing an innocent to protect Dean from ever being even close to what he saw in hell. 

anonymous asked:

You said in your s13 meta that the narrative suffers from keeping Destiel in the subtext. Can you elaborate a bit on that? For example, would you have them enter a romantic relationship now (or in earlier seasons) or would you be okay with it only happening towards the end of the show as long as it gets shoved more into 'text' level along the way - however that would look? How would you personally go about it in a way that fits into the narrative of the show?

Well - I think there are a bunch of reasons why keeping Destiel in the subtext is hurting the show (narratively). Off the top of my head -

1) This kind of subtext - ie, scattered clues that can be as obscure as beer labels or paintings on the walls - is usually reserved for Big, Shocking Revelations - for instance, the identity of the murderer in a thriller. I can’t think of one single example in which the subtextual clues led to a ‘Guess what - she actually luuuuurves him!’, and there’s good reason for that - a romantic attraction is not interesting enough to leave the audience to guess it and half perceive it out of the corner of their eyes. A hidden subtext should be the kind of thing where you gasp and stare when it’s revealed and then you go back and rewatch the whole thing in disbelief (also annoyance, because part of you is not surprised by this at all, but you never listened to that part ‘cause your a gullible fool). For younger readers, the revelations about Snape in HP fit this model well; for older viewers, a good example is the ending of The Others or Fight Club. Romantically speaking, the only close equivalent to what Supernatural is doing goes something along the lines of sexual awakening - a beautiful example is Tracy Chevalier’s Girl with a Pearl Earring, in which it’s very clear for an adult reader that Griet is attracted to Vermeer from the very first moment she sees him, and yet the UST builds and builds because Griet herself is too young and inexperienced to see it - and when she finally realizes it, holy shit. Even in that case, though, the romance wasn’t exactly subtextual - every single adult around Griet wondered at it - her mother warned her to stay away from Vermeer, Vermeer’s wife was openly jealous from the second Griet started working for their household, the other servants were also suspicious of why Griet was spending so much time alone with Vermeer and so on and so forth. The tension came from the fact Griet herself didn’t understand what was going on - not from the thing being completely subtextual. So, to me, the fact Supernatural thinks a (gay) love story needs to be put in the subtext - it’s more than offensive - it’s just not effective.

Keep reading