and decided to leave it bc why not

dude holy shit, so this guy comes frantically knocking on my door at 12AM and won’t stop so i get up, and he’s asking if i know who’s garage is the garage number 21-22 and i say idk and he leaves

so i decide to get up for good bc my bed was too hot and i open the window to get some air and i hear this fucking conversation;
this poor dude’s car’s tires are sliced up, and someone wrote ‘i’m pregnant’ on his car’s window with a lipstick, and this married guy has no fucking idea who, why and what the fuck. there’s police outside & everything.

and i feel.. SO BAD bc i HEARD THIS HAPPEN.

I HEARD A WEIRD SOUND OUTSIDE AT 3AM AND I DIDN’T BOTHER TO CHECK. THIS HAPPENED RIGHT BELOW MY WINDOW.

he’s now reassuring his wife and telling her he has no mistress, and she’s laughing a lot so i think she’s more amused by the situation than worried.
thank god too bc, imagine losing your wife’s trust bc some vindictive moron couldn’t take a second glance at who’s car she’s destroying.

also he’s now genuinely worried about the dude who regularly parks his car in that spot, he’s like “what if it’s for him, what if someone’s really pregnant??”

turns out that’s why he was knocking on my door too, that garage goes with my apartment, but ofc i don’t have a car and the owner of my apartment doesn’t park there either since he lives elsewhere, so i got no idea who’s car this was aimed for. I might keep watch who regularly parks there, if anyone.

so this is some real life drama i woke up to, or better yet, that woke me up today.

ok so last night I decided I was finally gonna rewatch all of lazytown bc nostalgia and memes right? right but just ?????? sportacus????? is so extra??????? why is he like that

but also! the mayor told stephanie that there used to be a superhero that lived in an aircraft with the number 9 on his suit. but like sportacus??? he’s number 10. but clearly sportacus isn’t an immortal being and the mayor just forgetful, as robbie rotten is also old enough to remember this number 9 as he incredulously exclaims “there’s another one??” which begs the question what happened to number 9? why did he leave lazytown? what happened to the eight before either of them? was 9′s name also sportacus or did each of these heroes claim their own name?  is sportacus number 9′s clone? how has he survived alone in a blimp for so long?

what is sportacus hiding?

My Angel

Pairing: Lucifer x Reader
Word count: 823
Warnings: Fluff
Request: ( @angelwriter3895  ) Could I get a comfort fic with lucifer? Perhaps the reader (or your own OC that is very much whatever you want) has had a shit day and kinda realizes after she goes to the bathroom that she is on her period. (Period sex in the comfort stuff is up to you.) Luce does what he can to make her feel better bc she is his favorite hunter. Perhaps a little Dean and Sam planking in retaliation for making his favorite hunter/mate upset.

Keep reading

i spent over 2 hours on this shit

Go, Diego, Go AU!

Help me

-diego decides to leave the forest one day to become an astronaut

-he meets pidge and hunk

-pidge is secretly that guy from kingdom hearts

-soral guy idk

-anyway

-he changes his name to lance bc why the fuck not

-and he meets his hero

-and there is a ninja guy named keit or whatever the fuck ever

- “fucking b-baka” -keith and lance towards each other

-”hey i totally hate u but wanna hang anyway” -keith

-lance finds a fucking blue jaguar or some shit like that

-~flashbacku~

-lance is fucking terrible with names. He names her fucking blue.

-well then again he renamed himself a fucking weapon javelin thingy or something

-anyways princess dora and her servant nigel cornberry and three fucking boots mice choose them to fucking save the universe or some shit

-coran is secretly luigi and alfor is fucking mario or something

-”i totally chose them based off their clothes color” -princess dora

-also it is Revealed Hunk is the real ninja

-that’s why he has a bandana

-keith is just some weird apprentice or someshit

-blah blah blah pidge is a Woman

-voltron is a giant anime girl cardboard cutout

-it is revealed that shiro is shadow the hedgehog

-they find sonic

-allura fuckig kills sonic bc bitch be cheating on her wit amy or som shit

-she’s secretly sally

-actually no. shadow the hedgehog is shiro and keith fused. Shadow is too emo for it to be just shiro.

-shiro used to be able to maintain the emoness until he got that sick anime hair. Now he’s too weaboo to be shadow by himself :(

-he secretly has a sailor moon outfit. Like not ironically. He saves it for when shit gets real.

-zarkon turns out to be jacob sattorious or some shit

-he like wearing my little pony sweatshirts

-he secretly kills people using his terrible singing

-keith’s dad is santa

-he’s secretly a cursed purple elf

-santa: “who the fuck is the blue kid”

-mrs. Claus: “what the shit”

-they finally defeat zarkon bc voltron’s weabooness finally becomes more cringe than zarkon’s singing

-voltron changes their name to Xx_xxdarkvoltronrawrX3xx_xX

-myspace and furries rule the world :333

-also keith and lance have a forever bonding moment.

-lance never admits his first bonding moment with keith. That fucker

-after voltron goes out of business, lance has a part-time job as elsa

-”that bonding moment never happened anyway”

-pidge’s father is actually ben 10

-hunk dies lathered with cinnamon and in a rolled up bed position since he’s a fucking cinnamon roll fuck you

-allura gets wasted every night

-allura secretly finds out lance is actually diego. Wow she’s dora

-”hi cuz. I thought you fucking died in the altea explosion. What the fuck. Don’t ever ditch me again bitch”

Alternate ending:

-shiro is actually sven from the original voltron

-his beautiful accent defeats zarkon.

8

I woke up in my neighbor’s bed with a head wound, yesterday’s paper, and an empty bottle of sleeping pills, and my nightmare in that putrid shithole of a bar, Paddy’s Pub, finally, mercifully came to an end. The owners all deserve to rot in jail, though having to spend every day with each other in that vile establishment is a decidedly greater punishment. That is why I decided to not press charges, leaving them to live in the hell on earth that they’ve created for themselves for the rest of their pathetic and miserable lives.

Malec in 2x01
  • Alec: 😡💥🔥⚡️
  • Magnus: 😰💔
  • Alec: WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME
  • Magnus: right now... Nothing 💔
  • Alec: 😨 (oh no I've hurt him what do I say)
  • Magnus: *leaves*
  • Alec: b-b-but I...
  • *later*
  • Alec: *upset by certain events so immediately decides goes to Magnus's*
  • Magnus: 👕🚫💪🏽
  • Alec: 👀👌🏼 Magnus bby I'm sorry let's gaze into each other's eyes but not kiss bc ??????
  • No really tell me why they didn't smooch idk
Champagne For My Real Friends (Markiplier, Jacksepticeye, Pewdiepie)

Word count: N/A

Requested: Yes

So I tried something new with this one because I thought it fit better? Sorry if it ruins the request but I like it. Also: gaminggaminggaming is the readers KIK name. (Sorry if it’s your kik name….)

Keep reading

2

smh i got tagged by these losers ://///// @jeonrps @tuvns  @daddilhoon @chanveols @kkuminwrites idk why u all decided to attack me like that but ily i guess : / / / / / also special shoutout to amba bc i would’ve divorced my ass a long time ago

i’m gonna tag my son @cutierps and evil twin i didnt eat in the womb @gelrps my d*ddy*no @roseofrph my mom @sugarps and this demon @cypherps who won’t leave my ass alone ://// ly ps anyone who sees this can do this ok even if i didnt tag u that j means my ‘i can’t keep up w online friendships’ side is showing

Let’s Do This

Request: Can I request a scenario for jk when he wants to have his first time but isn’t ready for it yet so he and his gf decided to not do instead do something else 😁😀

Originally posted by dream-bts

Genre: Smut (kinda) + Fluff; Drabble

A/N: I dedicate this to my two coconut head hoes @polarstar17 and @ji-baek BC IT’S A SPECIAL DAY WOOP 

my inspiration for WDTA and SM is basically non-existent right now that’s why I decided to finally work on some requests again and do this tiny drabble ♥


Hips rolling into him, straddling his lap while soft moans escaped your lips, Jungkook’s hands roamed all over your body. His long fingers touching every inch of you, making goosebumps rise wherever his fingers left a spark of electricity on you.

His breath hit your hot skin as he started leaving soft bites followed by gentle kisses all over your neck and collar bones, making sure to mark you as his. Redness spread all over your cleavage and neck, surely turning to colorful rainbows in the next few days, representing the love and passion that was shared between you two. 

Your nails were digging into his skull, fingers clinging onto his hair, letting his growls that were hiding in the back of his throat, escape into the air of his shared bedroom. Heat rose in between your legs, signaling you to start moving harder against Jungkook’s crotch for extra friction. His grip around your waist tightened as his bulge grew underneath you and both your breaths sped up.

“Jungkook”, you breathed out, grabbing his face in between your fingers, forcing him to look at you. His eyes were dark from lust, yet there was something else in there. 

“We don’t have to do this if you don’t want to babe”, you smiled at him and tilted your head a little bit, waiting for a reaction from his side while trying to calm down your panting.

He shook his head at you and brought you even closer. “No, you’ve waited long enough and we finally have the dorm for ourselves. Let’s do this.”

He leaned closer, trying to reattach your lips but you gently pushed him back, furrowing your eyebrows. “Stop, no. It’s not about if I want this. It’s about if you are ready, Jungkook. I can wait.” 

You smiled at him and pecked his lips. “I don’t need to sleep with you to know that you love me. There’s no need to rush anything.”

Jungkook exhaled and went through his hair with one hand, seemingly battling with himself internally while biting down on his swollen lips. He looked so good underneath you and you had to admit that you really needed him in that moment. The way his hair fell back into his eyes as soon as his hand lost touch to it. The way his teeth sunk into the plump flesh of his lips. The way he furrowed his eyebrows in disturbance, not knowing what to do. The way his neck vein was still throbbing, his chest rising and falling a little faster than usual. His tanned skin shining in contrast to his white shirt. Little drops of sweat already forming on the side of his forehead. 

He looked so hot and yet his eyes screamed “innocence”.

Leaning forward, you placed a gentle kiss onto his lips and you felt him relax under your touch. He leaned onto you, arms automatically wrapping around your small figure.

“C’mon, let’s play Mario Cart in the living room, I bet I can beat your big coconut head this time”, you smirked and ran off giggling, hearing Jungkook’s laugh right behind you as you made your way to the couch.

“You wish! Nobody beats the Golden Maknae in anything”, he exclaimed before throwing himself onto the sofa, throwing one controller in your direction, ready to start a game. 

“They don’t call me the ‘Golden Maknae’ for nothing babe”, he winked at you, making your heart stop in its tracks and a smile form on your lips as you shook your head at his comment. 

“We’ll see”, was all you could respond as his arms pulled you closer, placing your body between his legs so you could lean on him. 

Before starting the game, you heard his soft whisper. “Thank you.”

You turned around, frowning at him. “For what?”

“For this”, Jungkook shrugged before leaving a peck on your forehead and starting the game. 

some otp prompt AUs

(Note: i made this applicable to any ship just bc i can)

- university AU in “i have been sitting behind you the whole year and you may or may not have noticed me all this time but i can totally see the websites you visit. pls lower your brightness”

- hogwarts AU in “we’re supposed to be enemies and totally hate each other bc im in slytherin and youre in gryffindor but you were injured in a quidditch match and now i am the first one in the hospital wing”

- “you’re this famous model and i am just an intern in this magazine company. why are you so shy im just giving you coffee ?”

- “THIS IS THE LAST FLAVOR OF ICE CREAM IN THIS CONVENIENCE STORE THERE IS NO WAY IM LETTING YOU HAVE IT”

- “our mutual friend is a little shit and decided to leave us alone in this amusement park and oh you want to go to that ride okay”

- “i tried to send a note with a mean joke about our teacher on it to my friend and tried to throw it but instead it landed on your desk and now we are both in trouble.”

I MIGHT ADD SOME IDK ANYONE CAN USE THIS I JUST THOUGHT IT WOULD GET THIS BLOG OFF HIATUS FOR A WHILE. 

p.s to whoever uses these, we will definitely read it lmao

now with part 2 

Phan One Shot

Title: The Prank

Summary: Phil does the breaking up with my roommate prank like Caspar did to Joe and said that he was moving out while he is at a vacation with his family in Florida to Dan while he is on live radio at BBC.

Genre: Angst, fluff

Tw: Swearing, negativity, food mention

Word count: a little over 4.3k words

A/N: Merry late christmas @golden-heart-girl

Phil was out of town today for vacation, leaving me alone in our flat in London. I have to do the radio show all by myself, which won’t be any fun. The bad part is that it’s Phil and I’s 6 year anniversary today of dating, and almost 7 year anniversary since meeting each other in person. I sigh, grabbing my black trench coat and keys, locking the door behind me as I left.

Keep reading

Thank you @chimeyesmiles for tagging me bby~~

a) Always post the rules. Answer the questions asked then write 11 new ones.

b) Tag 11 people and link them to the post. Tell the person who tagged that you’ve answered their questions.

Who are your bias groups and why?

  • BTS bc I really love the meaning behind their lyrics, and their dorky personalities
  • GOT7 their dorky personalities attracted me really lol.
  • WINNER my friends really hyped this group up for me. I decided to listen to them and I ended up liking their songs (I’m still really sad about Taehyun leaving)

List any underrated kpop songs that you think deserves more recognition.

  • EVERYTHING TOPP DOGG TBH (even tho I don’t listen to them a lot and I don’t stan them, I think they have a lot of potential to get really popular. Unless they already are?)
  • I Don’t Want To Be An Idol by VIXX

Fav era of your bias group?

  • Boy In Luv era

Fav outfit of your bias?

  • Jimin with glasses.  Any outfit that has Jimin wearing glasses.  Jimin wearing glasses just makes me so happy.  And he looks good in them too.

Fav artists outside of kpop?

I don’t think I have any atm. I just listen to some utaites (rarely tho lmao), Jpop but not too bubbly and girly, and whatever comes on the radio (Maroon 5, Ariana, Selena, etc)

Kpop song you listen to when you need motivation?

Recently, Not Today puts me in the mood to actually try and work hard.

Your first bias and who your bias is now?

Jungkook was my first bias, now it’s Park JIMIN!!!

If you had a chance to be in any kpop group, which group would you be in and why?

BTS so I could watch anime with the maknae line, talk about deep things with Joon and Yoongi, cook with Jin, and play around with Hobi.

Fav hair color of your bias?

Jimin with black hair; Jackson with any color (just not his hairstyle in Girls Girls Girls); Seunghoon with any hair color.

Groups you want to see live/have seen live?

I want to see BTS live!  I saw GOT7 when they had a fanmeet here in Canada.

Why do you love your bias group?

BTS’s music is really empowering to me and I can relate easily. I can relate to the hardships of growing up and all the challenges we need to overcome to be a better person. Also, BTS’s music comforts me in hard times, for example a friend and I had a fight and I listened to Spring Day to help me calm down (I broke down into tears lmao). The boys are also really humble, even though they are so famous and rich (like Tae and his Gucci - GuTae.)

Questions for you to answer:

  1. Have you had a dream involving any kpop idol? What happened in it (if you are comfortable with sharing)?
  2. What song do you listen to when you are feeling down/stressed (can be any genre)?
  3. What type of ad (chicken ad, skincare ad, etc) would you do with an idol group of your choice?
  4. Which group would you travel with and why? Where would you go?
  5. Least favourite kpop song?
  6. Most favourite kpop song and why?
  7. What are your bias groups and/or favourite solo artists?
  8. Favourite accessory of your bias/biases?
  9. If you were in a group, what would your role be (leader, dancer, visual, etc)?
  10. How would you react if you met your idol? What would you say?
  11. If you were a student, which idol would be your teacher, classmate, and rival?

Tagging~~

@chimeyesmiles @chim95chim @indecisivealpaca @jeonnings (were you tagged in this before?? Oh well here it is again <3) @violetswaist (I’d like to talk to you so warning I may tag you in other things like this until I can talk to you ahah sorry) @tiamojimin (I want to talk to you tooooo igiworg4j5)

@Matt

Yeah basically that was the entire plan from what all combined sources tell me which makes a lot more sense, which is why I look forward to BF someday kinda making that happen, I still don’t hate it as it is, but it REALLY would’ve benefitted for an extra half hour or hour to at least focus a bit more on some of what happened there, mostly, well, you know, Barnable and the constant loss that kinda turned the doctor even moreso into how twelve’s been, but it still works

Which is why I hope Peter gets a better paced one but I also think it’s not too much of a worry bc Steven kept almost leaving and he already decided on leaving this year so he wouldn’t have left stuff like that, and more time to prepare now

We’ll Be Okay {S.W.} pt.1

A/N i decided to write a fic bc why not an ill prob have an imagine up by tonight


I woke up to the slight chill of the open window in Sam and I’s bedroom. The sound of the chirping birds outside, and the smell of maple.  I rolled over to see that Sam wasn’t in our bed; I figured he was in the living room drinking his morning coffee and on his phone so I just decided to get ready for the day. I wondered into the bathroom that was right next to our bedroom. I brushed threw my hair and decided to leave it down in its natural waves. I quickly got done with the process, left the bathroom and went back to the bedroom. I got dressed in black leggings, threw on a slightly over sized grey Nike T-shirt. I walked into the living room of Sam and I’s apartment, seeing he wasn’t there or in the kitchen. I then saw a note that had been left on the coffee table reading;

Keep reading

I will never understand movies where Santa Claus is real that universe. 

And its always the kids that believe in him, obviously, and the parents don’t but like…. who do they they think is leaving all the presents/????????? A friendly neighbor buys your kids all the things on the list and leaves it in your house????? Or did Santa not previously leave presents from years before and now that a random kid is saying he’s real bc he saw him that he decides to leave presents??? 

And hes always proven real when the Santa is able to tell the stubborn person who doesnt believe in Santa about their most secret Christmas present wish.. BUT WHY DID HE NOT EVER GIVE THEM THE GIFT THEYVE LITERALLY ALWAYS WANTED BEFORE?? Does he just WAIT until this person grows up into a Boring adult to present them with a doll from the 80s but never gave them their doll until they’ve become a fully grown adult????? Why didnt, when little Linda was 8, he give her the precious Susie Talks a Lot Doll she ALWAYS WANTED??? WHY DID HE WAIT UNTIL SHE’S 34 AND STILL NOT MARRIED AND HAS A DULL JOB TO GIVE HER A USELESS TOY THAT SHE’LL JUST PLACE ON A MANTEL SOMEWHERE TO COLLECT DUST. 

SANTA IS A DICK.