and creepy at the same time

‘David Bowie was a paedophile/rapist/whatever’ Discourse is like the epitome of Uncomfortable Stuff tbh because on the one hand on principle I think it’s a bad idea to dismiss or disbelieve potential rape victims, but at the same time from what I’ve heard about Lori Maddox she has apparently told stories about having dated and/or had underage sex with a number of old rock and roll people, including Iggy Pop and some wrinkly old fuck from Led Zeppelin, and she was deep in that whole creepy groupie culture where underage girls were encouraged to try to make themselves look older to get with rock stars??? And everything we actually know about David Bowie suggests that he would never have KNOWINGLY had sex with an underage girl (he once fired his tour manager guy for sending a bunch of teenage girls up into his hotel room, and publicly cut ties with/ denounced some musician who was outed as a paedophile). And I just can’t stand the idea that David Bowie is considered by some people to fall into the same category as confirmed abusers/serial rapists like John Lennon

I just feel really uncomfortable every time it’s brought up tbh because even though in all likelihood it’s probably not true, it’s firmly enough in some people’s minds that it makes me feel really anxious and guilty for liking David Bowie 

anonymous asked:

Do you think Spider-Man's metabolism is extra fast? What do people think of him always being hungry if so? And is it compounded by him being a teenager? Is he scared he won't grow because he can never get enough nutrition? Ton of questions, I'm sorry... but I wonder about whether the poor kid ever gets enough to eat 'cause heaven knows it never seems like the teenage boys I know do and it makes me concerned/curious (concernioused?) for what it'd be like for one with an extra fast metabolism.

Anon, I know this has been in my inbox for an eternity, (sorry) 

Peter is always worried about gaining and keeping his weight on, always. Peter will probably never stop worrying. 

  • Peter was already a skinny guy when he got bitten. And as a kid that was asthmatic, pron-to illness, and never really liked sports, Peter hadn’t expected to bulk up at all. 
  • But once he became a web-slinging hero he had to really watch his food intake. (and not in the way a normal teenage boy might have too) 
  • Peter noticed two things right off the bat- 
  1. He was always hungry, always. No matter how much Peter ate he somehow always felt like he had room for more. 
  2. If he didn’t eat to replace all the calories he burned on patrols he would lose weight fast. Like unhealthily fast. 
  • Peter kind of figures that having an extra fast metabolism and a healing factor was worth the vicious animal that was now his stomach. But the teenager would be lying if he said it didn’t make him nervous. 
  • And it worried him for a couple reasons-
  1. The main thing that troubled Peter was the fact that Aunt May and he just didn’t have enough income to support his stomach, and Peter didn’t know what else to do about that other than getting a job and eating less.
  2. Peter also worried about how the lack of food must be affecting his body (if his obvious ribs and hips were anything to go by) than he was guessing not good.

(I privately head-canon- that because of not having enough food Peter never grew to his full height. (This isn’t to be construed into me thinking Aunt May didn’t do her absolute best, or that Peter was starving to death) I just think it’s a realistic thing to have happen- because if Peter could have enough food to fill him every single day, he would eat them out of a house quite literally)

  • Aunt May definitely noticed Peter’s garbage disposal of a stomach and she makes sure to cook more food and give Peter bigger helping on his plate. (she did it slowly so that Peter wouldn’t notice) 
  • Peter’s classmates also notice Peter’s new found appetite, and some people (MJ and Gwen) will pass him power bars or give him some of their food at lunch. 
  • While his other peers (Flash) make fun of him for it and tease him, (even forcing Peter to eat food off the floor-“hey aren’t you always hungry Puny Parker?! This looks good!”
  • Though I will say- when Flash once caught Peter changing in the locker rooms (Peter always changed in a stall so that people wouldn’t see how skinny he was, or his random bruises from patrol) the bully got really concerned-
    “Parker, who did that to you?”
    “Flash?!”
    “Who Parker, who?” 
    “I- I was skateboarding-”
    “That’s a load of crap, Par- Peter,” 
    “It’s just a few scrapes leave me alone, Flash” 
  • (Peter is pretty sure that Flash now thinks he’s being abused, but there’s nothing he can do about that now) And Flash kind of left Peter alone after that. (Though concerned and worried looks were levered his way now, often) 
  • The superhero community takes notice of the Spidey’s black hole of a stomach after hanging out with the teenager, and they all shove food at Peter too. 
  • Though at first Spidey was all spluttery and embarrassed, and the teen didn’t want to take their charity or pity. (Cuze sometimes the kid is a stubborn dork) But after some of them explained- “you do a lot for this city, it’s the least we can do to feed you kiddo”- in a few words or less, Peter now takes the food happily. 
  • The Fantastic Four have him over for dinners and when Peter hangs out with Johnny there are always snacks and or takeout. And it doesn’t really feel like charity, it just feels like family.
  • The Avengers will ‘trick’ Spidey into coming over after they’ve patrolled/battled together- “we need to check that wound, kid, come back to the Tower” -and then let the Spider stuff his face after they’ve stitched him up. 
  • Daredevil doesn’t dottle around the subject, he just throws food at the teenager with an exasperated (but fond) “I could hear your stomach growling from three blocks away, eat dammit.”   

So overall, Peter’s fast metabolism is a problem. But not one that he can’t deal with. And hey there are worse problems than always being hungry, he’ll grow out of it, right? RIGHT!? 

in honour of march being #trypod month, here’s everything you need to know about podcasts! (part two here)

what the heck even are podcasts?

podcasts are audio shows that are either in episode or radio format, which you can download and listen to whenever you like, for free!! there are both fiction and non fictional podcasts, so there is something for everyone

why should i listen to these?

podcasts are similar to audiobooks and radio shows in that you can listen to them anywhere, on your phone or computer, and are ideal for commutes and journeys (i personally listen to most of mine on the bus to and from school). most podcasts are made by people as a hobby rather than their job, so you can support them by listening as well 

where can i find podcasts?

pretty much every podcast ever is available on itunes and spotify, and many apps for non apple devices

cool, can you give me some recommendations?

fiction

welcome to night vale [weird and spooky fantasy] is about a small town in america, where a lot of weird crap goes on, but here in night vale this is generally completely normal. this is pretty much how everyone gets into podcasts, and is a really good starting point for listening to fiction podcasts

the bright sessions [sci-fi] is about some folks with superpower in therapy trying to learn about themselves, their powers and how to control them. honest to god this is my most favourite fiction podcast ever, i love it with all of my heart and cannot recommend this enough. 

the orbiting human circus of the air [fantasy?] is about an old-timey radio show that broadcasts from the top of the eiffel tower. this is honestly such a joy to listen to, and has some wonderful stories with really interesting ways of telling them

wolf 359 [sci-fi and comedy] is about a small crew in a space station, orbiting the red dwarf star, wolf 359. it starts off pretty light hearted and gets pretty wild pretty quickly, so buckle in for a bumpy ride. (they did a live show and recorded it and put it on youtube and it is honestly such a gift seeing zach jump back and forth arguing with himself.)

the penumbra podcast [noir/fantasy/western/horror] is really queer. its great. the main stories follow a non-binary pi named juno steel, but there are other stories on the feed too that are well worth a listen (and season 2 premiers really soon!)

eos 10 [sci-fi and comedy] is about some doctors in space. its hilarious (the main plot arc starts with a boner that just will not go away) and the characters are super interesting. its been on break for a really long time, but is on its way back soon, so keep your eyes peeled!

the strange case of starship iris [sci-fi adventure] is new and really cleverly done. im still blown away by how cool the end credits are, everytime i hear them. its also about gays in space which is cool also ;)

the adventure zone [comedy and adventure] is barely a fiction podcast as it is 3 brothers and their dad playing d&d. if you have never played d&d, or think its boring, then dont let that deter you, because this podcast is the funniest one i have listened to. it starts a little slowly, so be prepared for that, but it really picks up a few episodes in, and griffin’s story telling gets SO good, i really recommend this one as well

dead serious [supernatural] is about two teens who discover that the local haunted house is actually Haunted and talk to the ghosts living there about their lives and deaths (this is mine ;))

non-fiction

spirits is 2 women chatting about really cool myths and legends, both old and new, from all of the world, whilst quite tipsy. this was the first podcast i listened to and i fell in love. i personally recommend the “japanese urban legend” episode its super creepy and super cool

dead pilots society is a table reading of tv pilots that are bought by companies but never made. they so far have all been comedies and include well known writers and actors, and are great for long journeys, as well as one time listening if you don’t want to get too emotionally involved in anything

my brother my brother and me  is a really bad advice show and really good comedy podcast run by 3 brothers (the same ones in the adventure zone minus their dad) who answer questions and give terrible advice that is hilarious to listen to. they also made a tv show on seeso recently, which you can also check out the first episode on yt!

international waters is a quiz show between british and american comedians which is interesting and hilarious, with different contestants each week to keep it fresh and interesting

i have a ton more i could talk about, but these are some of my highlights. if you want any recommendations, feel free to message me or drop me an ask!

Things Supergirl should address about Alex but probably won’t

A running list

  • Her drinking
  • Her *possible* anger issues
    • She’s full on ready to torture people
  • The fact that she has actually killed people
    • You don’t go from UCLA National City Bio-engineering nerd to soldier overnight
    • Supergirl makes a point to never kill people and Alex does what’s necessary. Unless it’s Jeremiah, but that’s a whole other thing.
  • The probable trauma she has from almost dying in a plane crash
  • The fact that she does resent Kara for things
    • Friendly reminder that they never actually talked about the things Red-K Kara said to Alex
  • How her family reacts to her drinking
    • Does Kara even know about party-girl Alex?
    • Does anyone but J’onn know?
  • The probable PTS she has from almost dying in a fucking plane crash
    • The plane crash that was specifically meant to assassinate her
  • The possible trauma from the White Martian incident
  • The possible trauma from the Myriad incident
  • The fact that Alex has had to lie out of necessity for her entire life to keep people safe
  • The possible trauma from the water tank incident
    • Though this was only this week’s episode so who knows if they will address it in a future episode
  • Alex has been under some form of mind control at least two times that I can specifically recall.
    • Having someone literally controlling your mind has to be traumatizing as fuck
    • Though it’s not the same- J’onn has read her mind multiple times without her knowledge, I doubt Alex is really 100% cool with that
  • That Rick guy stalked Alex for a year, claiming to know everything
    • That is incredibly creepy and invasive
    • He knew everything about her relationship with Maggie- with whom she “switched teams… so-to-speak”
    • How much is everything?
    • I’m sure both Alex and Maggie are going to need some help dealing with that one.

Feel free to add your own. I’m sure there’s plenty more to add.

Here’s the full transcript of Mark talking Darkiplier in the livestream

(Time approx. 3 hours, 52 minutes to 4 hours, 4 minutes into the stream. And, yes, this took forever). Thought you’d like this, maybe.

I’ve bolded stuff I find especially interesting.

~~~~~~~

Mark: Long ago, a long time ago, I liked to do these scary edits because I just felt like doing scary edits and this is how Darkiplier got born. And then what happened was over time Darkiplier became less and less about the scary figure and more about this romantic figure, and it always rubbed me the wrong way. And I kind of shied away from Darkiplier for a while. And I really really really- if I was going to bring Darkiplier, and when we thought about this, we thought, okay there should be a Darkiplier route. And that was there from the beginning, and so when I wanted to do it I wanted to do it my way, and I wanted to do it right, and I wanted to have this unending level of creepiness. And at the same time, I didn’t want to step on the toes of Antisepticeye because I know there’s a big fan base of that, and I didn’t want to get in the way of that at all and I really don’t care that there’s more than one dark personalities of people. But when I saw the opportunity to have this character here, I spent like 8 hours editing this, like just meticulously every single RBG. This is a layer, we green screened this one, I color corrected it, I separated the RBG layers I added the shakes and glitchiness every frame. I worked on the voice, too. The voice took me the longest to figure out. Like the shakes! And my computer was dying this whole time cause I put my effects on here.

Tyler: The amount of time you had to spend rendering this.

Mark: And so, the audio’s actually three separate layers. It would have been two, but Kathryn helped me out on that one to make it more clear. It’s a normal pitched layer that’s edited, echoed, reverbed, mastered, and convoluted which means it’s just thrown off to the left and right, and then it’s a deep layer of that. But then to make it really come together- it didn’t live without this center channel that wasn’t convoluted but was centered. But getting that voice right was so pinnacle, so paramount to what I wanted to come out of this. And we did like thirty minutes of shooting various versions of me talking to the camera and I wanted to pick the exact dialogue that really kind of gave away my idea of what Dark is in not a terribly obvious way.

Tyler: The other thing, this was supposed to all be one video.

Mark: But YouTube annotations, this new version doesn’t allow you to link the same video multiple times, so these are literally the old videos that I first did when Darkiplier first came about, like, these are the ones, especially this one here, and then this is my cheap knockoff Darkiplier.

Amy: Canon Darkiplier.

Mark: Canon Darkiplier. And I’m going to readily admit something. I joked about Darkiplier because it didn’t seem like something people wanted to take seriously, and I’m okay with that on certain aspects but it had diverged into multiple different facets and multiple different personalities, and everyone had their own version of Darkiplier, and I thought it was hilarious that, “Hey, here’s my version of Darkiplier, and he’s an idiot.” Like, he’s just this weird emo kid. And then I stepped back from that, like, I stepped back. And you can even- in that time, when I was doing those videos, in this era, I was not very happy. I was kind of… I was pessimistic about a lot of things. And I felt like that bled through in a lot of things I did. And that’s why even October of last year I literally made Darkiplier an emo character. And then when we were getting to this, I thought about it like very carefully and I thought back to why I did it originally, and I did it originally because, well, Darkiplier wasn’t even a thing. Darkiplier was not a thing when I was making those videos. I just wanted to make some creepy stuff. And then I thought about that, and I was like if I want to make a statement about who this is, I need to own that and I need to put something out there that is not ambiguous, because I realize that’s where I went wrong. I didn’t have a solid character so obviously, people would come up with their own versions, they would fill in the gaps where they saw fit. So, when I made this I had to embrace it fully and fine-tune it down to exactly where I wanted. When you choose the “fake” choice carrying through to this one, I really wanted that to come through, except at the end to this video, where it gets silly, but that’s because the real me comes in and the real me’s an idiot. And I’ve actually watched this over and over again because I’m listening to the takes I put in here and I’m listening to my inflection and my tone, my demeanor and I’m imagining like how to refine it better next time when I bring him back, like how to do it better.

Tyler: I remember now, I set up the table.

Mark: Yeah, you did. You set up the table we had to change it out for clear glasses because the green screen was reflecting through. But yeah, even this, like the intersplices of anger, and this is me getting real deep in the meta of Darkiplier, like if that’s even a thing that can be- let me just pause it here. I don’t read too much into this but if there’s something that I want to take seriously, I want to actually do right. So, in my mind, Darkiplier is an entirely different person from me. But, much like Warfstache, doesn’t obey the laws of physics. He exists in another world entirely and bleeds through into this one. This is sounding really nerdy of me.

Tyler: I remember the Warfstache talk.

Mark: So Completely unironically, Darkiplier is a completely separate entity from who I am. But, he admires what I’ve accomplished, and he’s very much… people picked up on this, and people thought it was really creepy, because it’s what I wanted. He’s a social manipulator. He is literally, 100% manipulative. He leads you into this false sense of security, and he wants you to trust him because he wants to take advantage of you. That is literally what I wanted for Darkiplier. And how creepy and scary that actually is from the surface. Especially in this first bit, where he says, “If dinner is what you want, then I can provide.” And I wanted this to come across in a seductive way while also masking, like, this burning rage inside that breaks through the suave nature of it. That was my clue to reveal he’s not your friend. He’s not here to help you. He’s here to use you. And that also came across when I was thinking about, like, the effects. Like, his image shatters, he separates because he’s not entirely kept together, you know what I mean? So, I wanted like the drastic impacts of the rage pulling back suddenly to the calm nature and the demeanor and this last one, I was thinking was especially telling. It’s not me trying to break through, it’s his shell cracking.

Kathryn: I love that.

Mark: Yeah? It’s my favorite of all of them.

Kathryn: That’s one’s my favorite. I have legitimately just gone and watched that bit.

Mark: Yeah?

Kathryn: It’s really good.

Mark: Oh, thank you.

Kathryn: I really like that.

Mark: Yeah. And number 1 the visuals work hard on this one, but nailing the audio- that high-pitched ringing that a lot of people were like wow that really hurts my ears, that was by design. That was supposed to hurt because listening to him- a lot if inspiration for him comes from G-man from Half-life 2 and 1, like this weird interdimensional person that seems human but is obviously not and doesn’t obey the laws of physics, and is just like this shell of a person that’s in a suit. Not a suit, literally a human suit, and is trying to figure out how to puppet it right that you believe him, but he’s really good at it. And that’s where the scariness of Darkiplier, I think, really comes from, is because he seems like someone you can trust, and he will manipulate you, and take advantage of you, and literally use you, and to me that’s terrifying. Like that’s the antithesis of what I want to be and so if I’m going to make an opposite version of me, he’s gonna be the fucking worst. Like worse than any romantic story can ever bring about. He’s fucking awful.

Amy: It was convenient, though, I like the way it goes from Relax to this, like the video “Relax,” because then people were not expecting this. But it’s so nice to have it on Valentine’s Day. It works so well.

Mark: And then came the bullshit transition that we had to do. So, this is comical in a way.

Amy: It doesn’t drag it though.

Mark: Yeah it doesn’t drag. You get the scary. Tyler’s here-

Tyler: In Mark’s suit, which I have fit in, but not the pants.

Mark: He didn’t fit, we forgot to get a tie, like, we printed out a mask, and I looked at this and was like I could try to make this creepy, and then I went, I objectively can’t. Let me throw in some punch sound effects.

Tyler: I have to make sure, cause-

Mark: He couldn’t see shoot.

Tyler: No, I couldn’t, and I had to keep moving the mask cause there was one time we did this that the mask ended up completely on the side of my head and I was just like, hey Mark, you can’t touch my face.

Amy: The convenient thing about this, though, with all the glitches is that you can hide stuff with it.

Tyler: Yeah, and there’s a reason I never let go of Mark I have no clue where anything is.

Mark: Yeah, oh man. Oh, this, oh my god. Oh, and secret Easter egg- you know who Dark is because he doesn’t have a shadow. Totally intentional and by design.

Amy: His toes are missing too, but.

Mark: Shh he doesn’t have toes he’s so scary.

~~~~~~

.

Emoji Rating: Eyes

The original and one of the best. These eyes are eyes that have seen you doin’ the nasty, these eyes are on thot patrol, and these eyes are perfect to use in any situation. My only problem is with how l o n g they are and the pupils look a little creepy. 9/10

Very simplistic. They don’t exactly get the message across and they’re kinda creepy but still cute 6/10 for effort

These eyes look like a portal to the deepest darkest part of Clippy’s soul get them away from me 0/10

The eyebrows ruin it and they look too cutesy for me 4/10

Pretty much just like the Apple ones, but blue. The shading is terrible but I’ll allow it 7.5/10

JESUS FUCKING CHRIST THAT’S CREEPY 0/10

Best eyes on this list. The best way I can describe these eyes is “sinnamon roll”. They’re cutesy, but at the same time pervy af. Plus the pupils aren’t disturbing like the Apple ones so 10/10

The shading and the angle are both fucking terrible 0/10

A more simplistic version of the Facebook eyes, but they look more like they’re looking at a crumb on the floor than givin you them bedroom eyes and that’s a bit of a disappointment. 9/10

HOLY FUCKING SHIT THESE ARE EVEN CREEPIER THAN THE HTC ONES -10/10

Why are the pupils so big

Still good tho 6/10

NYA KAWAII DESU MOSHI MOSHI UGUUUUUUUUU 

2/10

“It’s pointless to count stars.”

“It’s also pointless to count freckles, but I know you have 36 on the edge of your left hand.”

submitted by anonymous someone who could probs woo me in a day

musicals ft. summaries

Phantom of The Opera: gross goth guy lives beneath sewer and writes an opera

Natasha, Pierre and The Great Comet of 1812: seriously who the fuck writes an electropop opera about a 1200 page russian novel

Hamilton: seriously who the fuck writes a hip hop musical about alexander fucking hamilton

Zombie Prom: you know, taking your dead ex-boyfriend to prom may have seemed like a good idea in theory but im not sure anymore

In The Heights: somehow humorous and depressing all at the same time, also gay

Lizzie the Musical: okay im not kidding this time who the fuck writes a musical about lizzie fucking borden

Heathers the Musical: dating creepy guys in trench coats is probably a bad idea

Carrie the Musical: if you make fun of someone for getting their period, you’re in for a big surprise buddy

Bloody Bloody Andrew Jackson: who the actual fuck comes up with the idea to write a musical about the seventh president of the usa

Wicked: green gay meets pink gay and it’s pretty gay

Ghost Quartet: who the fuck comes up with this shit though

Les Misérables: emotional pain feat. gay revolutionaries

Spring Awakening: not explaining puberty to sexually frustrated teenagers is probably a bad idea

Waitress: deep shit blueberry pie and overly lovable characters

21 Chump Street: drugs are not the way to a woman’s heart, apparently

Sweeney Todd: okay no seriously who the everliving fuck comes up with this shit

Love Never Dies: i don’t have any funny joke for this lnd just sucks

CATS: i mean i guess writing a musical about cats may have seemed like a good idea in theory

Starlight Express: what the fuck alw

high school teachers act like college professors are gonna be all serious and tough but one time my history professor showed up to class 10 minutes late on a rainy day looking 500% done and he just stopped in the middle of the room and sighed really loudly and was like
“guys, you know, I had to stop by my car on the way here to get something and I realized….I realized I could literally just get in my car and drive away. I could drive all the way home and sit on my couch and drink a beer. But I came here for you guys. FOR YOU. I love you guys, and when I go home I’m drinking a beer then taking a nap, and then maybe I’ll grade your papers”
and another time in the same class the classroom technology wasn’t working (it rarely ever did) and he was like “well, looks like I’m just going to have to go outside and set this ipad on fire and while I’m at it might as well set myself on fire too”
And one time we spent a whole class talking about those creepy clowns in the news and he somehow managed to connect it to the societal hierarchy of colonial america

artsythenintendofreak  asked:

Hi, I'm an aspiring animator, and I wanted to thank you for being such an inspiration for me. Your art is fantastic, and I enjoy your style very much. Do you have any tips for poses? I try and practice, but the more dynamic poses end up looking awkward or stiff. Your stuff always looks so natural and flows nicely.

hello! oh wow thank you very much! Well, i’ve had this same question sent in to me a lot of times now, and I always say the same thing: do lifedrawing. Draw people around you, carry around a small little sketchbook and sketch people in the subway, in the restaurant, in the park! (do it without being creepy tho haha) 

When you do this, you’ll get a gist as to why people look the way they do and how they move etc. (try to do this everyday! go out, and do maybe 10-15 quick sketches. continue for a month and you’ll really see the change)

When you practice, try not to bother yourself with details first! instead, focus on shapes. this will not only help you with poses but also help you learn to draw faster! (2 for the price of 1!!!!) and when i say shapes, i mean think in 3d and start to sort of….sculp it.

Do different poses from normal everyday ones to the dynamic ones. (also, don’t take normal boring poses for granted!) then once you’ve gotten a hang of it, you can start drawing in characters!

you can see i didn’t follow the lines strictly from the original sketch to suit the characters’ style, but it still has the essence of that pose!

be loose! lines and shapes are your best friends! start practicing and you’ll soon find that poses are super fun and addicting to do!

anonymous asked:

"You dont want me" ladynoir

Ladybug sat at the top of the Eiffel Tower, her head in her hands, wondering how she could have possibly screwed things up SO badly. 

She heard the light footfall of her partner landing behind her. She couldn’t say she was surprised, he had never been one to leave her to stew in her own misery. 

“So…” he drawled, coming and sitting beside her, “that was an interesting broadcast today.” 

“It was a disaster,” she moaned, still not looking up at him, “I should just throw myself off this tower and put myself out of my misery.” 

“Oh come on, it’s not as bad as all that,” Chat said, patting her awkwardly on the back. 

She turned and glared at him. “It was a live stream, Chat! LIVE! It’s out there. Right now!” 

“True,” he conceded, nodding his head, “but it’s not like you said anything horrible. It was kinda cute actually.” 

“You don’t understand,” she moaned, slumping over so until she was curled up in his lap, “I’ve ruined everything! What sort of an idiot starts babbling about their crush on a live broadcast.” 

“Well, apparently you,” Chat said with a light laugh, cautiously reaching forward to play with the ends of her hair, “and about half of the rest of the known world. It could be a lot worse buginette.” 

“Do you think there is a chance he didn’t see it?” she asked hopefully, looking up at her partner’s thoughtful expression. 

He gave her a pitying smile. “I think you’re pretty much out of luck their bugaboo. You already have a ship name and everything. It’s trending on twitter.” 

“Ugh, that’s terrible,” she groaned, curling up tighter and burying her face against his leg. 

“I don’t know,” Chat teased, “I thought Ladrien had kind of a nice ring to it.” 

“This can’t be happening,” she moaned. 

“Hey, come on. What’s this really about? Is it really going to be so awful for the guy to know you like him? He might be flattered.” 

“It’s not that,” Ladybug said softly, “I mean, it’s MORE than that. I haven’t even told him I liked him- as myself, my not Ladybug self I mean. And now… let’s say he does feel flattered? That just means I have made myself my own competition! And it’s not like I can just go up to him and be like: Hey, by the way I’m Ladybug and, as you already know, I’m totally in love with you! Want to date me now?” 

“Oh god,” Chat said with a sudden sense of horror, “there are going to be so many desperate fangirls trying to do that.” 

“I didn’t even think about that! If he didn’t before he’s definitely going to hate me now. I might be the only person in the world who can simultaneously confess to her crush and make it harder for him to notice me!”  

“You really are one of a kind there bugaboo,” Chat said giving her another reassuring pat on the shoulder. 

“And what if this puts him in danger? I mean I might as well have stamped a butterfly tattoo across his back saying property of Ladybug, please exchange for one miraculous!” 

“Please don’t do that. I am told that models need to be very particular about what they put on their skin.” 

“It’s not funny. What if I honestly made him a target?”

“Hey,” Chat said “I promise you, if anything happens I will be the first person on the scene.” 

“Thanks,” she said gratefully, reaching up and catching his hand in her own.

“So, you’re in love with the model boy,” Chat said softly, rubbing his thumb absently against the back of her hand, “gotta say I didn’t see that one coming.” 
“Yeah well, it’s not like it really matters anymore,” she sighed, “it’s not like it would ever happen.” 

He scoffed at her, rolling his eyes theatrically to show his clear contempt for her pessimism. “So tell me My Lady,” he asked shifting slightly so that he could look down at her with a playful smile, “what is it that you see in this guy anyways?” 

“Wouldn’t you like to know.” 

“You don’t want me, so clearly you aren’t after the guy for his looks,” Chat said wiggling his eyebrows flirtatiously. 

“No,” Ladybug laughed, “although they don’t hurt.” 

“Why My Lady, was that you finally admitting that you find me attractive?” 

“You’ve always been attractive and you know it,” she said reaching up and flicking his bell. “As you can see I’ve just had my attentions elsewhere.” 

“Oh so this is a long standing attachment then? How long have you been dreaming of being M’Lady Agreste?” he teased poking her lightly on the nose. 

“Almost from the first day I met him. It will be two years next week,” she said softly. 

“The start of school,” Chat murmured, “you know him then?” 

“yeah,” she admitted reaching blindly around to catch his other hand and pull him to her like a security blanket. “We were in the same class in college and we still have a few classes together now. Plus our friends are dating so we hang out a lot.” 

“You two are close then,” Chat said a little breathlessly, “that… well that certainly clears things up.” 
“Yeah,” Ladybug said, “it’s not just some creepy celebrity crush. I mean, it kind of was that too. I have like 2 dozen photos of him plastered on my wall that I used to practice talking to because for the longest time I could barely string a sentence together around him, it was kind of embarrassing. I got over it eventually, but by that point I didn’t really have the heart to take the pictures down.” 

Chat gave her a warm smile. “I can see it now, you stuttering and tripping and shooting the poor confused boy adorable awkward smiles before running off in the opposite direction.” 

“Shut up,” Ladybug said but she couldn’t help grinning at her partners soft tone and fond smile. “I got better.” 

“I know.” He raised one of her hands to his lips and gave her a delicate kiss. “So you still haven’t told me what you see in this guy,” he challenged, “If I am getting demoted to your rebound choice I deserve to know what I am up against,” he said slyly. 

“He’s kind,” Ladybug smiled, filling with warmth as she thought about her love. “He always wants to see the best in people,and he… he is just good, you know? The kind of goodness that doesn’t come from ignorance or being sheltered, but that has seen pain and and heartache and loss and yet still chooses to be good. 

“That is high praise indeed My Lady.” 

“You aren’t going to make fun of me for this?” 

“No My Lady. If anything I am going to love you more for it.” 

She gave him another grateful smile before sitting up. The sun had begun to set and she knew she should be getting home. She probably had a dozen of so missed calls from Alya waiting for her. 

“Well who knows,” she said attempting to be flippant. “Maybe he’ll finally just reject me and I will change my mind about you Kitty.” 

“Wouldn’t that be a twist,” Chat laughed climbing to his feet and offering her his hand to help her up as well. 

“It would probably be for the best,” she sighed. “It’s not like we can be together. Not with Hawkmoth still on the loose. There is too much at stake. And I don’t know if I could bear having to hide my identity in a relationship.” 

Chat grinned again. “You are very wise My Lady.” 

“Mostly I am just telling myself that so I can feel better,” she admitted and was rewarded with a loud melodious laugh. 

“You know,” he said, eyes twinkling “you are probably right. Clandestine meetings, midnight makeout sessions, it’s probably better to hold out for the real thing.” 

“Yeah.” 

“Besides, I hate to break it to you My Lady but I have a sinking feeling that #Ladrien is not to be.” 

“And why is that Kitty?” 

“Well,” Chat said looking out at the sunset, “not to be the bearer of bad news but I have it on very good authority that your lover is very much spoken for.” 

“oh?” Ladybug said trying not to let her disappointment show. 

“Yes, completely and hopelessly in love. Someone at his school in fact.” 

“And who is this mystery girl?” she asked. 

“It’s right on the tip of my tongue,” Chat said his eyes glittering with something she couldn’t quite name, “it will come to me. I’ll have to tell you next time I see you.” 

“Well thanks for the heads up,” she said leaning over to give him a kiss on the cheek, “and thanks for cheering me up.” 

“Always My Lady. I should probably get heading home myself.” he pulled out his staff and and extended it. 

“Oh,” he said, shooting her a final grin as prepared to depart, “I do remember one thing.”
“And what’s that?” 

“The mystery girl, I knew there was something about her that I found particularly delectable.” 

“And what is that?” 

“Her parent’s own a bakery.”  

The true test of how much i love something is based on if I draw anything for it or not. (Although there’s exceptions since half of the time i don’t feel good enough to draw said thing/or embarrased).

Anyhoo i love @hernyart art

and especially the gals he draws (his main ones up there) on his sideblog (with one HELL of a lewd name). Featuring these ghouls (geddit?…no?….i’ll show my way out) who are super awesome….and lewd….yet sweet at the same time?

Funny thing about this is that I have never seen ANY of the shows these characters belong to. That’s what happens when you don’t have cable or got to rent cartoons from the kids section at blockbuster when you were a kid, (as I faintly remember seeing the box art for the ghouls school one)

Anyhoo, if I wasn’t totally broke I’d patron the hell out of a lotta artists like this guy.

Long-ass SB/ho tips outline and I don’t even care

I’m on a roll today haha.  Been typing these out as I think of them all week, so here is a list of things in order of what I perceive to be least to most talked about:

1. Be able to leave at any time. You never know when you’re going to have to make a run for it or if you feel unsafe and need to bounce.  This includes:

  • Know your exits.  Not all places have the exit the same as the entrance.  Figure out where the exit is either before you walk in or as soon as you do.
  • Keep all your things as close together as possible.  Pretty easy if you’re in a public place, but if you are at a hotel or his house or something, try to either keep everything packed or all your things in one place.  This makes you look neat and organized too, or at least you can claim that if he calls you on it.
  • When you’re done brushing your teeth, pack away your toothbrush again.  This goes for everything.  When you use it, put it back.
  • Keep your dirty clothes folded next to your suitcase, if not in it.
  • Keep your purse on your person or with your things.  I usually put it on the nightstand so it’s easy to remember, and my clothes/rest of my things usually end up next to the bed anyway.  Take your bag to the bathroom, especially if there are things inside that reveal your identity if you don’t want him to see.
  • If you take off your clothes, leave them right-side-out.  If you don’t do it as you take your clothes off, just fix them as soon as they’re off.  Leave all your clothes in one place.  If you’re naked and need to run, this speeds up the process and you don’t look a complete mess when you get outside.
    • For your shirt, grab the bottom hem and pull it over your head.  Once the neck clears your head, take the hem of one sleeve and pull your arm out of it.  Then use that arm to hold both sleeves as you remove your other arm.  This leaves you holding both sleeves by the ends as the shirt hangs down and your shirt stays ready to be put on quickly.
    • For your pants, step on the hem with one foot to slide the other leg out.  Might be a little tough with skinny jeans or leggings, but try to pull from the bottoms and slide out instead of peeling them off your body.
  • Have the number for a local taxi service saved in your phone.  Or Uber, or a friend nearby, or whatever you feel like.  Don’t rely on him to get you home.
  • Pack a pair of flats if you can because running in heels is way too hard.
  • If you do need to leave, put on your underwear, then pants.  Don’t need to wear the bra.  Put on your shirt, grab your things and leave.  Run to the staircase–don’t risk the elevator in case a bunch of people with luggage hold it up long enough for him to find you there.  Go barefoot down the stairs, then put on your shoes after you’ve reached the bottom.  At this point you should be holding your purse and bra, maybe socks, jacket, heels if you packed flats, and jewelry.  As you walk to the door, put your jewelry and bra in your purse if you can.  Put socks in the heels, or hold them if you’re wearing the heels.  Get into the taxi.  Put your bra on around your stomach, then pull it up under your shirt so you’re wearing it like a strapless bra (you can fix this later if you want).  Put on your socks if you have them.  Double check that you grabbed everything.  Get home safe.

2. Have a safe place to go to if needed.  This is anywhere very public and preferably somewhere you cannot be followed.  Know how to get there from wherever you are.

  • If you have a membership at a gym, they usually check membership cards at the door. 
  • If you are military/dependent, go on base. 
  • Go to your place of work and hide in the break room.  If your coworkers ask, say it was a Tinder date gone wrong and this creepy old guy is following you.
  • Worst case scenario, go to the bathroom in a public place.  Enlist the help of other women in there/call the hostess of the restaurant or a nearby store and explain the situation.

3. Put your phone on airplane mode.  Turn WiFi and location off.  I’ve seen it mentioned before where people pop up as Facebook suggestions.  If you spend a lot of time in the same area as someone, Facebook knows.  Even with location off, it can tell your location via WiFi access point and which cell your phone is connected to.  Turning off location and WiFi will help, but you need to disconnect your phone from service to block that avenue too.  I would say turn your phone off entirely, but my phone takes 6 million years to power on, so that could be dangerous in an emergency.  Turning off airplane mode can allow you to reconnect quickly to service.  (This is also useful because then your phone won’t be buzzing and stuff.  No distractions.)

4. Tell a friend where you’re going and what time you expect to be back.  Keep them updated with changes.  Even if they don’t respond, having it in writing somewhere can keep you safe if anything happens.  Message me where you’re going if you don’t have anyone else idgaf.

5. Ask for everything upfront.  Whatever you agreed on (cash, gifts, dinner, whatever), make sure you get it first.  I feel like everyone on Tumblr already knows this, but maybe one person will read this who hadn’t read it elsewhere and it’ll help.

6. Keep these things in your bag.

As always, add stuff I didn’t think of if you have anything!  Stay safe and may the sugar gods bless you all.

Kiwi: Part One

A little impromptu mini-series based in Jamaica during the writing/recording of Harry’s new album. Enjoy. xo



The music in the bar was pounding as the sounds of the Caribbean flowed through the humid air. It was a small establishment, one that could probably only accommodate for two hundred people at most. It definitely wasn’t a tourist place; most of those were on the other side of the island with the copious amounts of resorts and hotels that offered travellers sanctuary.

Harry wasn’t there to vacation, though. He was there to write and record his new album.

The bar, “Pipo’s Shack”, was about a ten minute walk from the recording studio that Harry had been working in for the past little bit. It had been a productive couple of days; he’d spent the first night there having a few beers and getting to know his team better. After all, they were going to be working together until this thing was done, so they might as well be comfortable with one another. They all got along splendidly, and the handful of songs they’d managed to bang out so far were promising, but not quite right yet. After a couple of days of straight work, Harry decided that he needed a night off to himself.

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What podcasts I listen to

This is a post that most likely no one cares about since I shitpost whatever I’m into but I wanna get my thoughts about the podcasts I listen to regularly and what I feel about them. 


Welcome to Night Vale - This is the one that got me into podcasts although it scared me at first. I managed to listen to 60 episodes in almost a week so I was pretty hooked. This is about a friendly desert community where the sun is hot, the moon is beautiful and mysterious lights pass while we all pretend to sleep. It’s set in a H P Lovecraft style of world where the scariest of things are seen as the most normal of things. Things change when a beautiful stranger comes to town but you’ll fall in love instantly. Episodes come out the 1st and 15th of each month

Alice Isn’t Dead - This is done by the same company that does Night Vale and it’s a lot darker and creepier. It is about a truck driver who drives around the country trying to find her wife Alice while discovering things about the towns she goes past. A warning if you don’t deal with gore or violence very well (also spoilers) someone does get murdered in the first episode and the main character does get attacked in a later episode. This show is only done by Joseph Fink and his style is a little scary at times but it’s still good. I recommend binge listening to the first season before the second one comes out because it’s a little easier to keep up with the story that way. I prefer Night Vale over Alice but that’s just a personal opinion. Episodes will continue when the next season starts. 

Wolf 359 - This is one of my favourite podcasts I have ever listened to. Written by Gabriel Urbina, it’s about Doug Eiffel’s life on the Hephaestus Research Station as they orbit the red dwarf star Wolf 359. This a podcast you’ll want more of and you’ll want to know every single plot twist and theory. The characters are loveable and it just makes me really happy. Renee Minkowski is the station’s commander and she makes sure that her boys stay in check (mostly Eiffel). Dr. Hilbert is honestly a little creepy but you can’t hate him and HERA is my computer wife. Every storyline is great and will only keep you guessing. The website also has other cool stuff such as playlists for the characters which are on spotify and there are small little things that are fantastic. The early seasons are very lighthearted and Zach Valenti (@iamzachvalenti) voices both Doug and Hilbert and it’s just fantastic to listen to. Episodes come out every two weeks.

Limetown - Limetown is very different compared to the other podcasts. It’s a news report that follows a reporter, Lia Haddock, as she tries to find out what happened to an entire town of people that just vanished into thin air. The length of the episodes span under 10 minutes to nearly an hour. It’s interesting but Lia is kinda annoying with her methods of obtaining the information she desires but her intentions are in the right place, despite her actions getting innocent people hurt. The podcast kinda stopped in December last year so it’s real easy to listen to but you will want more which is disappointing since you want to know what happens in the next season. It takes a very realistic turn of events so who knows when the next season comes out. If you like realistic podcasts then this is the one for you 

The Bright Sessions - Another personal favourite of mine and I no joke want more right now. The only way I can describe the podcast without spoiling it is X-men go to therapy. It’s an actual pleasure to listen to and it keeps you hooked. Lauren Shippen  (@thelaurenshippen)  has created something thats actually beautiful and has created characters who are relatable in every way. Sam is a time traveller with anxiety, Caleb is a high school student who can feel others emotions, Chloe thinks she’s going insane with the voices of angels then there is a mysterious character who I shall not name. It’s defiantly worth a listen and it’s an A++ podcast. The website also has things that are unique to each person. Sam has a blog, Caleb has instagram and playlists of his own and Chloe has tumblr. This is no joke something I want to make in the future so it’s amazing to me. New episode dates will be released with the new episodes. 

King Falls AM - This is like Night Vale but less creepy and more paranormal. The main characters are Sammy “Shotgun” Stevens and Ben Arnold who host a  late night call in show. I can only imagine this like Night Vale because of the similar format but they are completely different. King Falls AM is what Night Vale would be if the town normal and unusual things aren’t normal. The characters are really loveable and I just love them so much. There are people you will love to hate and it definitely makes you feel like you are a citizen of the town which is great. It brings a sense of community to the small fandom. I want to say more but it’s very spoilery so I will say no more. It’s worth the listen to and I recommend binge listening to this one, trust me you’ll want to. New episodes come out the 1st and 15th of each month. 

EOS 10 - I’ll admit that I haven’t finished this podcast but I don’t think they’ve made new episodes since last year?????? (it was December so I wasn’t wrong). The story follows Ryan Dalias arriving on EOS 10 to check up on the doctor on the ship who has been going through his share of addiction. From what I’ve listened from this, it’s not bad but not my cup of tea. Scifi podcasts don’t work for me but I still enjoy this quite a bit. Warning if you aren’t interested in hearing people do the frick frack then there is a part of episode 3 that you’ll want to skip because it’s a little uncomfortable. The first two seasons are out and god knows when the next season will be available. 

Within the Wires - This is another one done by Night Vale presents. Within the Wires is written by Jeffrey Cranor and the story is based through a series of standard relaxation tapes where you soon realise that yours aren’t standard. The woman on the to the main character and you slowly figure out what that connection is. The tapes themselves are a little creepy but they are sort of relaxing at the same time. Season two may be different and possibly might not be relaxation tapes but that’s the exciting thing about it. I personally prefer this podcast to Alice because I can listen to this and not feel scared when I’m trying to sleep. This one just creeps me out opposed to scaring me so I stay awake. I wouldn’t listen to this before bed though. I recommend to listen to this on a really long road trip because that’s the most comfortable I felt when I heard it. New episodes will come out when the new season does. 

ars PARADOXICA - Imagine if you had accidentally created time travel and you find yourself in 1942 in the middle of the second world war. That’s what Sally Grisham does and she soon discovers that her time travel only goes back so she attempts to find a way to go back to her own time which is a little difficult with only technology from the early 40′s. I’ll be honest, I did really like this podcast when I first started it but the last 4 episodes make me question if I actually want to continue it. The latest episode makes me think that I could continue it. They do give warnings about gun violence and terrible things happening to kids which made me super uncomfortable but the warning was nice. New episodes come out the 1st of each month

The Orbiting Human Circus (of the Air) - Yet another Night Vale presents project but it’s not written by Joseph or Jeffrey. The story follows the janitor Juilen as he tries to get into the show without getting caught. The podcast is set on top of the Eiffel tower and the most magical things happen such as a bird who can recreate a whole orchestra perfectly and a machine that can make the thoughts of a cricket come to life. There are only four episodes so far but it’s pretty good so far. The janitor is my favourite and he just shares stories about his life that only make me want to get to know him better which is nice. The french accents also make me really happy. New episodes come out every other Wednesday and I high recommend it. 

Podcasts I haven’t started but are on my list

Homecoming 

Lore

The Penumbra Podcast

Return Home

Our Fair City

LifeAfter 

I wanted to make this in case anyone was interested with what I was listening to and I would like recommendations with podcasts because I’m always looking for new podcasts to listen to

My nighttime habit may have saved my life

This is a creepy experience by reddit user CarveAPumpkin

This happened two nights ago, so I’m still replaying it over and over in my head. I thought this would be a good place to share.  I’m a pretty predictable person, with a predictable schedule, so I’m not sure if this was a random occurrence or if someone knew my nightly routine.

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