and creepy at the same time

On balloons.

There’s a post going around that advocates giving clowns only real helium balloons. I’m not going to link to that post, because I don’t want the OP getting any hate. The balloon misconception is SUCH a common one I don’t think any one of us can say we didn’t fall prey to it at one point or another. But, the fact of the matter is, helium balloons are not good enrichment for clowns.

Firstly, they’re not sustainable. Helium is a rapidly depleting resource. Secondly, clowns like balloons because they mistake them for their eggs. A clown bouncing a balloon around on a string is taking care of its ‘baby.’ Clown eggs are brightly colored spheres that float around at shoulder-height, if healthy, and are transported by the parent by means of a filament. Balloons mimic these incredibly well. That is why clowns find balloons on the ground so distressing - a downed egg contains a sick embryo. The despair they experience when one floats away is that of child loss, and I’m sure you can imagine why they’re so distressed when one pops. That’s why malevolent breeds are predisposed to the act!
All balloons “die”. They cannot hatch. Every experience a clown has with a balloon, however happy at the outset, ends in tragedy. They are not good enrichment items, no matter how busy they keep a clown.

So what are some alternatives? If you have two or more clowns of any social breed, then toys like custard pies, water squirters, and air horns make excellent entertainment. Note: Most common breeds are social. If you are keeping a social breed singularly, you MUST play with it for several hours a day at the bare minimum. While these breeds tend to adore balloons the most, the repeat psychological trauma they suffer because of them is not worth the easy out.
If you keep a breed that prefers a solitary existence, they will get the most out of things like juggling supplies and balance balls. Make sure they have a safe space to play with these in when you aren’t home to supervise.
All breeds need human interaction. A few times a week you need to show your clown you appreciate it - that’s the best enrichment of all. Remember that some methods of training result in ‘unusual’ reactions to the four quadrants - most commonly, +P will become “rewarding” - and some performance breeds innately make that connection, so research the right way to reward your clown.

On a final note, DO NOT GIVE MIMES BALLOONS. Look on any mime forum and you’ll see countless threads with titles like “Help! My mime won’t play with toys!” Yeah, dipshit, THEY DON’T UNDERSTAND TOYS. All members of the mime group are highly specialized working breeds geared towards imagination play. They are very intelligent, deeply driven to perform their unique rituals, and not much else. They need to do their original job to be happy. They need to put on shows. If you cannot provide the stimulation of a fully public performance at least once a week for your mime, and cannot provide regular training sessions, either, do not get a mime. Consider a fool instead. A lot of people brush off fools as beginner breeds, too rambunctious and talkative, but there’s a reason they were preferred by royalty for centuries. They’re actually very versatile and eager to please! They do love tumbling and have a knack for mimicking human speech, but will happily learn the same tricks as a mime. They’re also content to live singularly and enjoy practicing in private quite a lot, making them rather compatible with modern life. Their larger cousins, the jesters, can also learn mime routines, but keep in mind that they are more willful! The sinister jester is a near dupe for the creepy mime, a popular breed, but they’re not a great choice for a total novice. Remember, they contributed heavily to the makeup of the scary clowns. (o:
Both fools and jesters will prefer to have physical props to play with in their off-time even if they’re trained to perform without them.

ew.com
'Rick and Morty' Co-Creator Slams Trolls Attacking Their Female Writers
Exclusive: Dan Harmon sounds off: ‘I loathe these people’

Continues Harmon: “These knobs, that want to protect the content they think they own — and somehow combine that with their need to be proud of something they have, which is often only their race or gender. It’s offensive to me as someone who was born male and white, and still works way harder than them, that there’s some white male [fan out there] trying to further some creepy agenda by ‘protecting’ my work. I’ve made no bones about the fact that I loathe these people. It f—ing sucks. And the only thing I can say is if you’re lucky enough to make a show that is really good that people like, that means some bad people are going to like it too. You can’t just insist that everybody who watches your show get their head on straight … And I’m speaking for myself — I don’t want the show to have a political stance. But at the same time, individually, these [harassers] aren’t politicians and don’t represent politics. They represent some shit that I probably believed when I was 15.”

A glimpse of Shinsou’s past hidden in his theme song?

Okay……. I must warn you that this theory is kind of…. scary. BUT HEAR ME OUT!!

The official BNHA season 2 OST came out and I just had to look for Shinsou’s theme……….  And I found it. And let me tell you…………….. 

It’s creepy as hell.

I mean. There’s a constant humming in the background, some laughing and screaming sounds that seems to come from children?? And clock noises too….

Here is the song ( You can listen to it and come back or read this at the same time if you want ) :

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZuTwBgKpUVQ&feature=youtu.be

I got curious and translated the title of the OST ‘’ Yonaka Ni Kiku To Kowai ‘

And that’s when all the piece came together.

Yonaka Ni Kiku To Kowai means something like:

‘’ I am scared when I hear it in the middle of the night. ‘’

The ‘’ I ‘’ here…. Is Shinsou.

Shinsou is scared when he hears ‘’it’’ in the middle of the night… 

‘’ It ‘’ is all the noises you hear in the song. The laughing children, the whispers, the bloody screams… That’s what he hears everytime he tries to sleep. The voices from his past.. And because of them, he just cannot sleep. That’s where his bags comes from.

The humming in the background must be his mother’s lullaby. Because he wouldn’t be able to sleep at night, she would sing him to sleep. Her voice would cover the voices in his head…. 

Hope you enjoyed this little theory :’3

in honour of march being #trypod month, here’s everything you need to know about podcasts! (part two here)

what the heck even are podcasts?

podcasts are audio shows that are either in episode or radio format, which you can download and listen to whenever you like, for free!! there are both fiction and non fictional podcasts, so there is something for everyone

why should i listen to these?

podcasts are similar to audiobooks and radio shows in that you can listen to them anywhere, on your phone or computer, and are ideal for commutes and journeys (i personally listen to most of mine on the bus to and from school). most podcasts are made by people as a hobby rather than their job, so you can support them by listening as well 

where can i find podcasts?

pretty much every podcast ever is available on itunes and spotify, and many apps for non apple devices

cool, can you give me some recommendations?

fiction

welcome to night vale [weird and spooky fantasy] is about a small town in america, where a lot of weird crap goes on, but here in night vale this is generally completely normal. this is pretty much how everyone gets into podcasts, and is a really good starting point for listening to fiction podcasts

the bright sessions [sci-fi] is about some folks with superpower in therapy trying to learn about themselves, their powers and how to control them. honest to god this is my most favourite fiction podcast ever, i love it with all of my heart and cannot recommend this enough. 

the orbiting human circus of the air [fantasy?] is about an old-timey radio show that broadcasts from the top of the eiffel tower. this is honestly such a joy to listen to, and has some wonderful stories with really interesting ways of telling them

wolf 359 [sci-fi and comedy] is about a small crew in a space station, orbiting the red dwarf star, wolf 359. it starts off pretty light hearted and gets pretty wild pretty quickly, so buckle in for a bumpy ride. (they did a live show and recorded it and put it on youtube and it is honestly such a gift seeing zach jump back and forth arguing with himself.)

the penumbra podcast [noir/fantasy/western/horror] is really queer. its great. the main stories follow a non-binary pi named juno steel, but there are other stories on the feed too that are well worth a listen (and season 2 premiers really soon!)

eos 10 [sci-fi and comedy] is about some doctors in space. its hilarious (the main plot arc starts with a boner that just will not go away) and the characters are super interesting. its been on break for a really long time, but is on its way back soon, so keep your eyes peeled!

the strange case of starship iris [sci-fi adventure] is new and really cleverly done. im still blown away by how cool the end credits are, everytime i hear them. its also about gays in space which is cool also ;)

the adventure zone [comedy and adventure] is barely a fiction podcast as it is 3 brothers and their dad playing d&d. if you have never played d&d, or think its boring, then dont let that deter you, because this podcast is the funniest one i have listened to. it starts a little slowly, so be prepared for that, but it really picks up a few episodes in, and griffin’s story telling gets SO good, i really recommend this one as well

dead serious [supernatural] is about two teens who discover that the local haunted house is actually Haunted and talk to the ghosts living there about their lives and deaths (this is mine ;))

non-fiction

spirits is 2 women chatting about really cool myths and legends, both old and new, from all of the world, whilst quite tipsy. this was the first podcast i listened to and i fell in love. i personally recommend the “japanese urban legend” episode its super creepy and super cool

dead pilots society is a table reading of tv pilots that are bought by companies but never made. they so far have all been comedies and include well known writers and actors, and are great for long journeys, as well as one time listening if you don’t want to get too emotionally involved in anything

my brother my brother and me  is a really bad advice show and really good comedy podcast run by 3 brothers (the same ones in the adventure zone minus their dad) who answer questions and give terrible advice that is hilarious to listen to. they also made a tv show on seeso recently, which you can also check out the first episode on yt!

international waters is a quiz show between british and american comedians which is interesting and hilarious, with different contestants each week to keep it fresh and interesting

i have a ton more i could talk about, but these are some of my highlights. if you want any recommendations, feel free to message me or drop me an ask!

musicals ft. summaries

Phantom of The Opera: gross goth guy lives beneath sewer and writes an opera

Natasha, Pierre and The Great Comet of 1812: seriously who the fuck writes an electropop opera about a 1200 page russian novel

Hamilton: seriously who the fuck writes a hip hop musical about alexander fucking hamilton

Zombie Prom: you know, taking your dead ex-boyfriend to prom may have seemed like a good idea in theory but im not sure anymore

In The Heights: somehow humorous and depressing all at the same time, also gay

Lizzie the Musical: okay im not kidding this time who the fuck writes a musical about lizzie fucking borden

Heathers the Musical: dating creepy guys in trench coats is probably a bad idea

Carrie the Musical: if you make fun of someone for getting their period, you’re in for a big surprise buddy

Bloody Bloody Andrew Jackson: who the actual fuck comes up with the idea to write a musical about the seventh president of the usa

Wicked: green gay meets pink gay and it’s pretty gay

Ghost Quartet: who the fuck comes up with this shit though

Les Misérables: emotional pain feat. gay revolutionaries

Spring Awakening: not explaining puberty to sexually frustrated teenagers is probably a bad idea

Waitress: deep shit blueberry pie and overly lovable characters

21 Chump Street: drugs are not the way to a woman’s heart, apparently

Sweeney Todd: okay no seriously who the everliving fuck comes up with this shit

Love Never Dies: i don’t have any funny joke for this lnd just sucks

CATS: i mean i guess writing a musical about cats may have seemed like a good idea in theory

Starlight Express: what the fuck alw

To the guys who feel like they can't interact with children

To the guys who see a lost kid crying at the grocery store and want to do something but can’t in fear of looking like a kidnapper

To the guys who get harassed out in public with their younger siblings

To the fathers who are treated like predators for being around their own children

To the male teachers who get worried looks from parents worried about leaving their child with a man

I see you, you aren’t creepy, it’s okay. I respect men who are good with kids, who actually care and actually want to help when a lost child is scared, who are passionate enough to help their siblings or to spend time with their children, who have made it their profession to educate children.

I’m sorry that society makes you too nervous to be able to show the same platonic affection to children that women are able to.

I see you. Thank you for caring.

“It’s pointless to count stars.”

“It’s also pointless to count freckles, but I know you have 36 on the edge of your left hand.”

submitted by anonymous someone who could probs woo me in a day

anonymous asked:

Do you think Spider-Man's metabolism is extra fast? What do people think of him always being hungry if so? And is it compounded by him being a teenager? Is he scared he won't grow because he can never get enough nutrition? Ton of questions, I'm sorry... but I wonder about whether the poor kid ever gets enough to eat 'cause heaven knows it never seems like the teenage boys I know do and it makes me concerned/curious (concernioused?) for what it'd be like for one with an extra fast metabolism.

Anon, I know this has been in my inbox for an eternity, (sorry) 

Peter is always worried about gaining and keeping his weight on, always. Peter will probably never stop worrying. 

  • Peter was already a skinny guy when he got bitten. And as a kid that was asthmatic, pron-to illness, and never really liked sports, Peter hadn’t expected to bulk up at all. 
  • But once he became a web-slinging hero he had to really watch his food intake. (and not in the way a normal teenage boy might have too) 
  • Peter noticed two things right off the bat- 
  1. He was always hungry, always. No matter how much Peter ate he somehow always felt like he had room for more. 
  2. If he didn’t eat to replace all the calories he burned on patrols he would lose weight fast. Like unhealthily fast. 
  • Peter kind of figures that having an extra fast metabolism and a healing factor was worth the vicious animal that was now his stomach. But the teenager would be lying if he said it didn’t make him nervous. 
  • And it worried him for a couple reasons-
  1. The main thing that troubled Peter was the fact that Aunt May and he just didn’t have enough income to support his stomach, and Peter didn’t know what else to do about that other than getting a job and eating less.
  2. Peter also worried about how the lack of food must be affecting his body (if his obvious ribs and hips were anything to go by) than he was guessing not good.

(I privately head-canon- that because of not having enough food Peter never grew to his full height. (This isn’t to be construed into me thinking Aunt May didn’t do her absolute best, or that Peter was starving to death) I just think it’s a realistic thing to have happen- because if Peter could have enough food to fill him every single day, he would eat them out of a house quite literally)

  • Aunt May definitely noticed Peter’s garbage disposal of a stomach and she makes sure to cook more food and give Peter bigger helping on his plate. (she did it slowly so that Peter wouldn’t notice) 
  • Peter’s classmates also notice Peter’s new found appetite, and some people (MJ and Gwen) will pass him power bars or give him some of their food at lunch. 
  • While his other peers (Flash) make fun of him for it and tease him, (even forcing Peter to eat food off the floor-“hey aren’t you always hungry Puny Parker?! This looks good!”
  • Though I will say- when Flash once caught Peter changing in the locker rooms (Peter always changed in a stall so that people wouldn’t see how skinny he was, or his random bruises from patrol) the bully got really concerned-
    “Parker, who did that to you?”
    “Flash?!”
    “Who Parker, who?” 
    “I- I was skateboarding-”
    “That’s a load of crap, Par- Peter,” 
    “It’s just a few scrapes leave me alone, Flash” 
  • (Peter is pretty sure that Flash now thinks he’s being abused, but there’s nothing he can do about that now) And Flash kind of left Peter alone after that. (Though concerned and worried looks were levered his way now, often) 
  • The superhero community takes notice of the Spidey’s black hole of a stomach after hanging out with the teenager, and they all shove food at Peter too. 
  • Though at first Spidey was all spluttery and embarrassed, and the teen didn’t want to take their charity or pity. (Cuze sometimes the kid is a stubborn dork) But after some of them explained- “you do a lot for this city, it’s the least we can do to feed you kiddo”- in a few words or less, Peter now takes the food happily. 
  • The Fantastic Four have him over for dinners and when Peter hangs out with Johnny there are always snacks and or takeout. And it doesn’t really feel like charity, it just feels like family.
  • The Avengers will ‘trick’ Spidey into coming over after they’ve patrolled/battled together- “we need to check that wound, kid, come back to the Tower” -and then let the Spider stuff his face after they’ve stitched him up. 
  • Daredevil doesn’t dottle around the subject, he just throws food at the teenager with an exasperated (but fond) “I could hear your stomach growling from three blocks away, eat dammit.”   

So overall, Peter’s fast metabolism is a problem. But not one that he can’t deal with. And hey there are worse problems than always being hungry, he’ll grow out of it, right? RIGHT!? 

Here’s the full transcript of Mark talking Darkiplier in the livestream

(Time approx. 3 hours, 52 minutes to 4 hours, 4 minutes into the stream. And, yes, this took forever). Thought you’d like this, maybe.

I’ve bolded stuff I find especially interesting.

~~~~~~~

Mark: Long ago, a long time ago, I liked to do these scary edits because I just felt like doing scary edits and this is how Darkiplier got born. And then what happened was over time Darkiplier became less and less about the scary figure and more about this romantic figure, and it always rubbed me the wrong way. And I kind of shied away from Darkiplier for a while. And I really really really- if I was going to bring Darkiplier, and when we thought about this, we thought, okay there should be a Darkiplier route. And that was there from the beginning, and so when I wanted to do it I wanted to do it my way, and I wanted to do it right, and I wanted to have this unending level of creepiness. And at the same time, I didn’t want to step on the toes of Antisepticeye because I know there’s a big fan base of that, and I didn’t want to get in the way of that at all and I really don’t care that there’s more than one dark personalities of people. But when I saw the opportunity to have this character here, I spent like 8 hours editing this, like just meticulously every single RBG. This is a layer, we green screened this one, I color corrected it, I separated the RBG layers I added the shakes and glitchiness every frame. I worked on the voice, too. The voice took me the longest to figure out. Like the shakes! And my computer was dying this whole time cause I put my effects on here.

Tyler: The amount of time you had to spend rendering this.

Mark: And so, the audio’s actually three separate layers. It would have been two, but Kathryn helped me out on that one to make it more clear. It’s a normal pitched layer that’s edited, echoed, reverbed, mastered, and convoluted which means it’s just thrown off to the left and right, and then it’s a deep layer of that. But then to make it really come together- it didn’t live without this center channel that wasn’t convoluted but was centered. But getting that voice right was so pinnacle, so paramount to what I wanted to come out of this. And we did like thirty minutes of shooting various versions of me talking to the camera and I wanted to pick the exact dialogue that really kind of gave away my idea of what Dark is in not a terribly obvious way.

Tyler: The other thing, this was supposed to all be one video.

Mark: But YouTube annotations, this new version doesn’t allow you to link the same video multiple times, so these are literally the old videos that I first did when Darkiplier first came about, like, these are the ones, especially this one here, and then this is my cheap knockoff Darkiplier.

Amy: Canon Darkiplier.

Mark: Canon Darkiplier. And I’m going to readily admit something. I joked about Darkiplier because it didn’t seem like something people wanted to take seriously, and I’m okay with that on certain aspects but it had diverged into multiple different facets and multiple different personalities, and everyone had their own version of Darkiplier, and I thought it was hilarious that, “Hey, here’s my version of Darkiplier, and he’s an idiot.” Like, he’s just this weird emo kid. And then I stepped back from that, like, I stepped back. And you can even- in that time, when I was doing those videos, in this era, I was not very happy. I was kind of… I was pessimistic about a lot of things. And I felt like that bled through in a lot of things I did. And that’s why even October of last year I literally made Darkiplier an emo character. And then when we were getting to this, I thought about it like very carefully and I thought back to why I did it originally, and I did it originally because, well, Darkiplier wasn’t even a thing. Darkiplier was not a thing when I was making those videos. I just wanted to make some creepy stuff. And then I thought about that, and I was like if I want to make a statement about who this is, I need to own that and I need to put something out there that is not ambiguous, because I realize that’s where I went wrong. I didn’t have a solid character so obviously, people would come up with their own versions, they would fill in the gaps where they saw fit. So, when I made this I had to embrace it fully and fine-tune it down to exactly where I wanted. When you choose the “fake” choice carrying through to this one, I really wanted that to come through, except at the end to this video, where it gets silly, but that’s because the real me comes in and the real me’s an idiot. And I’ve actually watched this over and over again because I’m listening to the takes I put in here and I’m listening to my inflection and my tone, my demeanor and I’m imagining like how to refine it better next time when I bring him back, like how to do it better.

Tyler: I remember now, I set up the table.

Mark: Yeah, you did. You set up the table we had to change it out for clear glasses because the green screen was reflecting through. But yeah, even this, like the intersplices of anger, and this is me getting real deep in the meta of Darkiplier, like if that’s even a thing that can be- let me just pause it here. I don’t read too much into this but if there’s something that I want to take seriously, I want to actually do right. So, in my mind, Darkiplier is an entirely different person from me. But, much like Warfstache, doesn’t obey the laws of physics. He exists in another world entirely and bleeds through into this one. This is sounding really nerdy of me.

Tyler: I remember the Warfstache talk.

Mark: So Completely unironically, Darkiplier is a completely separate entity from who I am. But, he admires what I’ve accomplished, and he’s very much… people picked up on this, and people thought it was really creepy, because it’s what I wanted. He’s a social manipulator. He is literally, 100% manipulative. He leads you into this false sense of security, and he wants you to trust him because he wants to take advantage of you. That is literally what I wanted for Darkiplier. And how creepy and scary that actually is from the surface. Especially in this first bit, where he says, “If dinner is what you want, then I can provide.” And I wanted this to come across in a seductive way while also masking, like, this burning rage inside that breaks through the suave nature of it. That was my clue to reveal he’s not your friend. He’s not here to help you. He’s here to use you. And that also came across when I was thinking about, like, the effects. Like, his image shatters, he separates because he’s not entirely kept together, you know what I mean? So, I wanted like the drastic impacts of the rage pulling back suddenly to the calm nature and the demeanor and this last one, I was thinking was especially telling. It’s not me trying to break through, it’s his shell cracking.

Kathryn: I love that.

Mark: Yeah? It’s my favorite of all of them.

Kathryn: That’s one’s my favorite. I have legitimately just gone and watched that bit.

Mark: Yeah?

Kathryn: It’s really good.

Mark: Oh, thank you.

Kathryn: I really like that.

Mark: Yeah. And number 1 the visuals work hard on this one, but nailing the audio- that high-pitched ringing that a lot of people were like wow that really hurts my ears, that was by design. That was supposed to hurt because listening to him- a lot if inspiration for him comes from G-man from Half-life 2 and 1, like this weird interdimensional person that seems human but is obviously not and doesn’t obey the laws of physics, and is just like this shell of a person that’s in a suit. Not a suit, literally a human suit, and is trying to figure out how to puppet it right that you believe him, but he’s really good at it. And that’s where the scariness of Darkiplier, I think, really comes from, is because he seems like someone you can trust, and he will manipulate you, and take advantage of you, and literally use you, and to me that’s terrifying. Like that’s the antithesis of what I want to be and so if I’m going to make an opposite version of me, he’s gonna be the fucking worst. Like worse than any romantic story can ever bring about. He’s fucking awful.

Amy: It was convenient, though, I like the way it goes from Relax to this, like the video “Relax,” because then people were not expecting this. But it’s so nice to have it on Valentine’s Day. It works so well.

Mark: And then came the bullshit transition that we had to do. So, this is comical in a way.

Amy: It doesn’t drag it though.

Mark: Yeah it doesn’t drag. You get the scary. Tyler’s here-

Tyler: In Mark’s suit, which I have fit in, but not the pants.

Mark: He didn’t fit, we forgot to get a tie, like, we printed out a mask, and I looked at this and was like I could try to make this creepy, and then I went, I objectively can’t. Let me throw in some punch sound effects.

Tyler: I have to make sure, cause-

Mark: He couldn’t see shoot.

Tyler: No, I couldn’t, and I had to keep moving the mask cause there was one time we did this that the mask ended up completely on the side of my head and I was just like, hey Mark, you can’t touch my face.

Amy: The convenient thing about this, though, with all the glitches is that you can hide stuff with it.

Tyler: Yeah, and there’s a reason I never let go of Mark I have no clue where anything is.

Mark: Yeah, oh man. Oh, this, oh my god. Oh, and secret Easter egg- you know who Dark is because he doesn’t have a shadow. Totally intentional and by design.

Amy: His toes are missing too, but.

Mark: Shh he doesn’t have toes he’s so scary.

~~~~~~

.

Things Supergirl should address about Alex but probably won’t

A running list

  • Her drinking
  • Her *possible* anger issues
    • She’s full on ready to torture people
  • The fact that she has actually killed people
    • You don’t go from UCLA National City Bio-engineering nerd to soldier overnight
    • Supergirl makes a point to never kill people and Alex does what’s necessary. Unless it’s Jeremiah, but that’s a whole other thing.
  • The probable trauma she has from almost dying in a plane crash
  • The fact that she does resent Kara for things
    • Friendly reminder that they never actually talked about the things Red-K Kara said to Alex
  • How her family reacts to her drinking
    • Does Kara even know about party-girl Alex?
    • Does anyone but J’onn know?
  • The probable PTS she has from almost dying in a fucking plane crash
    • The plane crash that was specifically meant to assassinate her
  • The possible trauma from the White Martian incident
  • The possible trauma from the Myriad incident
  • The fact that Alex has had to lie out of necessity for her entire life to keep people safe
  • The possible trauma from the water tank incident
    • Though this was only this week’s episode so who knows if they will address it in a future episode
  • Alex has been under some form of mind control at least two times that I can specifically recall.
    • Having someone literally controlling your mind has to be traumatizing as fuck
    • Though it’s not the same- J’onn has read her mind multiple times without her knowledge, I doubt Alex is really 100% cool with that
  • That Rick guy stalked Alex for a year, claiming to know everything
    • That is incredibly creepy and invasive
    • He knew everything about her relationship with Maggie- with whom she “switched teams… so-to-speak”
    • How much is everything?
    • I’m sure both Alex and Maggie are going to need some help dealing with that one.

Feel free to add your own. I’m sure there’s plenty more to add.

Emoji Rating: Eyes

The original and one of the best. These eyes are eyes that have seen you doin’ the nasty, these eyes are on thot patrol, and these eyes are perfect to use in any situation. My only problem is with how l o n g they are and the pupils look a little creepy. 9/10

Very simplistic. They don’t exactly get the message across and they’re kinda creepy but still cute 6/10 for effort

These eyes look like a portal to the deepest darkest part of Clippy’s soul get them away from me 0/10

The eyebrows ruin it and they look too cutesy for me 4/10

Pretty much just like the Apple ones, but blue. The shading is terrible but I’ll allow it 7.5/10

JESUS FUCKING CHRIST THAT’S CREEPY 0/10

Best eyes on this list. The best way I can describe these eyes is “sinnamon roll”. They’re cutesy, but at the same time pervy af. Plus the pupils aren’t disturbing like the Apple ones so 10/10

The shading and the angle are both fucking terrible 0/10

A more simplistic version of the Facebook eyes, but they look more like they’re looking at a crumb on the floor than givin you them bedroom eyes and that’s a bit of a disappointment. 9/10

HOLY FUCKING SHIT THESE ARE EVEN CREEPIER THAN THE HTC ONES -10/10

Why are the pupils so big

Still good tho 6/10

NYA KAWAII DESU MOSHI MOSHI UGUUUUUUUUU 

2/10

@sixpenceee This is a story for you, this literally just happened to me about an hour ago.

I got home from work today and I was singing in the bathroom while I was taking off my makeup. My boyfriend and I record covers of songs and I started to hear music from the living room so I stopped singing to listen. I was hearing a cover we did of Nutshell by Alice in Chains and I thought my voice sounded really good in this particular recording so after a few seconds when my boyfriend walked into the bathroom I asked him which specific audio he played because I liked it.

He looked at me really confused and asked “What do you mean?” I asked him again and he still looked baffled and said slowly “I was playing guitar… I could hear you singing. You sounded really good.” I just stared at him, slowly starting to realize what just transpired.

I thought my boyfriend was playing a recording because I could hear my own voice, or something like it. He thought I was singing from the bathroom for the same exact reason except I wasn’t singing. I don’t know who or what was. I am having a hard time wrapping my head around this, although I am not particularly surprised as weird things seem to gravitate towards me.

high school teachers act like college professors are gonna be all serious and tough but one time my history professor showed up to class 10 minutes late on a rainy day looking 500% done and he just stopped in the middle of the room and sighed really loudly and was like
“guys, you know, I had to stop by my car on the way here to get something and I realized….I realized I could literally just get in my car and drive away. I could drive all the way home and sit on my couch and drink a beer. But I came here for you guys. FOR YOU. I love you guys, and when I go home I’m drinking a beer then taking a nap, and then maybe I’ll grade your papers”
and another time in the same class the classroom technology wasn’t working (it rarely ever did) and he was like “well, looks like I’m just going to have to go outside and set this ipad on fire and while I’m at it might as well set myself on fire too”
And one time we spent a whole class talking about those creepy clowns in the news and he somehow managed to connect it to the societal hierarchy of colonial america

What podcasts I listen to

This is a post that most likely no one cares about since I shitpost whatever I’m into but I wanna get my thoughts about the podcasts I listen to regularly and what I feel about them. 


Welcome to Night Vale - This is the one that got me into podcasts although it scared me at first. I managed to listen to 60 episodes in almost a week so I was pretty hooked. This is about a friendly desert community where the sun is hot, the moon is beautiful and mysterious lights pass while we all pretend to sleep. It’s set in a H P Lovecraft style of world where the scariest of things are seen as the most normal of things. Things change when a beautiful stranger comes to town but you’ll fall in love instantly. Episodes come out the 1st and 15th of each month

Alice Isn’t Dead - This is done by the same company that does Night Vale and it’s a lot darker and creepier. It is about a truck driver who drives around the country trying to find her wife Alice while discovering things about the towns she goes past. A warning if you don’t deal with gore or violence very well (also spoilers) someone does get murdered in the first episode and the main character does get attacked in a later episode. This show is only done by Joseph Fink and his style is a little scary at times but it’s still good. I recommend binge listening to the first season before the second one comes out because it’s a little easier to keep up with the story that way. I prefer Night Vale over Alice but that’s just a personal opinion. Episodes will continue when the next season starts. 

Wolf 359 - This is one of my favourite podcasts I have ever listened to. Written by Gabriel Urbina, it’s about Doug Eiffel’s life on the Hephaestus Research Station as they orbit the red dwarf star Wolf 359. This a podcast you’ll want more of and you’ll want to know every single plot twist and theory. The characters are loveable and it just makes me really happy. Renee Minkowski is the station’s commander and she makes sure that her boys stay in check (mostly Eiffel). Dr. Hilbert is honestly a little creepy but you can’t hate him and HERA is my computer wife. Every storyline is great and will only keep you guessing. The website also has other cool stuff such as playlists for the characters which are on spotify and there are small little things that are fantastic. The early seasons are very lighthearted and Zach Valenti (@iamzachvalenti) voices both Doug and Hilbert and it’s just fantastic to listen to. Episodes come out every two weeks.

Limetown - Limetown is very different compared to the other podcasts. It’s a news report that follows a reporter, Lia Haddock, as she tries to find out what happened to an entire town of people that just vanished into thin air. The length of the episodes span under 10 minutes to nearly an hour. It’s interesting but Lia is kinda annoying with her methods of obtaining the information she desires but her intentions are in the right place, despite her actions getting innocent people hurt. The podcast kinda stopped in December last year so it’s real easy to listen to but you will want more which is disappointing since you want to know what happens in the next season. It takes a very realistic turn of events so who knows when the next season comes out. If you like realistic podcasts then this is the one for you 

The Bright Sessions - Another personal favourite of mine and I no joke want more right now. The only way I can describe the podcast without spoiling it is X-men go to therapy. It’s an actual pleasure to listen to and it keeps you hooked. Lauren Shippen  (@thelaurenshippen)  has created something thats actually beautiful and has created characters who are relatable in every way. Sam is a time traveller with anxiety, Caleb is a high school student who can feel others emotions, Chloe thinks she’s going insane with the voices of angels then there is a mysterious character who I shall not name. It’s defiantly worth a listen and it’s an A++ podcast. The website also has things that are unique to each person. Sam has a blog, Caleb has instagram and playlists of his own and Chloe has tumblr. This is no joke something I want to make in the future so it’s amazing to me. New episode dates will be released with the new episodes. 

King Falls AM - This is like Night Vale but less creepy and more paranormal. The main characters are Sammy “Shotgun” Stevens and Ben Arnold who host a  late night call in show. I can only imagine this like Night Vale because of the similar format but they are completely different. King Falls AM is what Night Vale would be if the town normal and unusual things aren’t normal. The characters are really loveable and I just love them so much. There are people you will love to hate and it definitely makes you feel like you are a citizen of the town which is great. It brings a sense of community to the small fandom. I want to say more but it’s very spoilery so I will say no more. It’s worth the listen to and I recommend binge listening to this one, trust me you’ll want to. New episodes come out the 1st and 15th of each month. 

EOS 10 - I’ll admit that I haven’t finished this podcast but I don’t think they’ve made new episodes since last year?????? (it was December so I wasn’t wrong). The story follows Ryan Dalias arriving on EOS 10 to check up on the doctor on the ship who has been going through his share of addiction. From what I’ve listened from this, it’s not bad but not my cup of tea. Scifi podcasts don’t work for me but I still enjoy this quite a bit. Warning if you aren’t interested in hearing people do the frick frack then there is a part of episode 3 that you’ll want to skip because it’s a little uncomfortable. The first two seasons are out and god knows when the next season will be available. 

Within the Wires - This is another one done by Night Vale presents. Within the Wires is written by Jeffrey Cranor and the story is based through a series of standard relaxation tapes where you soon realise that yours aren’t standard. The woman on the to the main character and you slowly figure out what that connection is. The tapes themselves are a little creepy but they are sort of relaxing at the same time. Season two may be different and possibly might not be relaxation tapes but that’s the exciting thing about it. I personally prefer this podcast to Alice because I can listen to this and not feel scared when I’m trying to sleep. This one just creeps me out opposed to scaring me so I stay awake. I wouldn’t listen to this before bed though. I recommend to listen to this on a really long road trip because that’s the most comfortable I felt when I heard it. New episodes will come out when the new season does. 

ars PARADOXICA - Imagine if you had accidentally created time travel and you find yourself in 1942 in the middle of the second world war. That’s what Sally Grisham does and she soon discovers that her time travel only goes back so she attempts to find a way to go back to her own time which is a little difficult with only technology from the early 40′s. I’ll be honest, I did really like this podcast when I first started it but the last 4 episodes make me question if I actually want to continue it. The latest episode makes me think that I could continue it. They do give warnings about gun violence and terrible things happening to kids which made me super uncomfortable but the warning was nice. New episodes come out the 1st of each month

The Orbiting Human Circus (of the Air) - Yet another Night Vale presents project but it’s not written by Joseph or Jeffrey. The story follows the janitor Juilen as he tries to get into the show without getting caught. The podcast is set on top of the Eiffel tower and the most magical things happen such as a bird who can recreate a whole orchestra perfectly and a machine that can make the thoughts of a cricket come to life. There are only four episodes so far but it’s pretty good so far. The janitor is my favourite and he just shares stories about his life that only make me want to get to know him better which is nice. The french accents also make me really happy. New episodes come out every other Wednesday and I high recommend it. 

Podcasts I haven’t started but are on my list

Homecoming 

Lore

The Penumbra Podcast

Return Home

Our Fair City

LifeAfter 

I wanted to make this in case anyone was interested with what I was listening to and I would like recommendations with podcasts because I’m always looking for new podcasts to listen to

Long-ass SB/ho tips outline and I don’t even care

I’m on a roll today haha.  Been typing these out as I think of them all week, so here is a list of things in order of what I perceive to be least to most talked about:

1. Be able to leave at any time. You never know when you’re going to have to make a run for it or if you feel unsafe and need to bounce.  This includes:

  • Know your exits.  Not all places have the exit the same as the entrance.  Figure out where the exit is either before you walk in or as soon as you do.
  • Keep all your things as close together as possible.  Pretty easy if you’re in a public place, but if you are at a hotel or his house or something, try to either keep everything packed or all your things in one place.  This makes you look neat and organized too, or at least you can claim that if he calls you on it.
  • When you’re done brushing your teeth, pack away your toothbrush again.  This goes for everything.  When you use it, put it back.
  • Keep your dirty clothes folded next to your suitcase, if not in it.
  • Keep your purse on your person or with your things.  I usually put it on the nightstand so it’s easy to remember, and my clothes/rest of my things usually end up next to the bed anyway.  Take your bag to the bathroom, especially if there are things inside that reveal your identity if you don’t want him to see.
  • If you take off your clothes, leave them right-side-out.  If you don’t do it as you take your clothes off, just fix them as soon as they’re off.  Leave all your clothes in one place.  If you’re naked and need to run, this speeds up the process and you don’t look a complete mess when you get outside.
    • For your shirt, grab the bottom hem and pull it over your head.  Once the neck clears your head, take the hem of one sleeve and pull your arm out of it.  Then use that arm to hold both sleeves as you remove your other arm.  This leaves you holding both sleeves by the ends as the shirt hangs down and your shirt stays ready to be put on quickly.
    • For your pants, step on the hem with one foot to slide the other leg out.  Might be a little tough with skinny jeans or leggings, but try to pull from the bottoms and slide out instead of peeling them off your body.
  • Have the number for a local taxi service saved in your phone.  Or Uber, or a friend nearby, or whatever you feel like.  Don’t rely on him to get you home.
  • Pack a pair of flats if you can because running in heels is way too hard.
  • If you do need to leave, put on your underwear, then pants.  Don’t need to wear the bra.  Put on your shirt, grab your things and leave.  Run to the staircase–don’t risk the elevator in case a bunch of people with luggage hold it up long enough for him to find you there.  Go barefoot down the stairs, then put on your shoes after you’ve reached the bottom.  At this point you should be holding your purse and bra, maybe socks, jacket, heels if you packed flats, and jewelry.  As you walk to the door, put your jewelry and bra in your purse if you can.  Put socks in the heels, or hold them if you’re wearing the heels.  Get into the taxi.  Put your bra on around your stomach, then pull it up under your shirt so you’re wearing it like a strapless bra (you can fix this later if you want).  Put on your socks if you have them.  Double check that you grabbed everything.  Get home safe.

2. Have a safe place to go to if needed.  This is anywhere very public and preferably somewhere you cannot be followed.  Know how to get there from wherever you are.

  • If you have a membership at a gym, they usually check membership cards at the door. 
  • If you are military/dependent, go on base. 
  • Go to your place of work and hide in the break room.  If your coworkers ask, say it was a Tinder date gone wrong and this creepy old guy is following you.
  • Worst case scenario, go to the bathroom in a public place.  Enlist the help of other women in there/call the hostess of the restaurant or a nearby store and explain the situation.

3. Put your phone on airplane mode.  Turn WiFi and location off.  I’ve seen it mentioned before where people pop up as Facebook suggestions.  If you spend a lot of time in the same area as someone, Facebook knows.  Even with location off, it can tell your location via WiFi access point and which cell your phone is connected to.  Turning off location and WiFi will help, but you need to disconnect your phone from service to block that avenue too.  I would say turn your phone off entirely, but my phone takes 6 million years to power on, so that could be dangerous in an emergency.  Turning off airplane mode can allow you to reconnect quickly to service.  (This is also useful because then your phone won’t be buzzing and stuff.  No distractions.)

4. Tell a friend where you’re going and what time you expect to be back.  Keep them updated with changes.  Even if they don’t respond, having it in writing somewhere can keep you safe if anything happens.  Message me where you’re going if you don’t have anyone else idgaf.

5. Ask for everything upfront.  Whatever you agreed on (cash, gifts, dinner, whatever), make sure you get it first.  I feel like everyone on Tumblr already knows this, but maybe one person will read this who hadn’t read it elsewhere and it’ll help.

6. Keep these things in your bag.

As always, add stuff I didn’t think of if you have anything!  Stay safe and may the sugar gods bless you all.

Legally Blonde the Musical ft. accurate song titles
  • Omigod You Guys: COURTNEY, TAKE YOUR BREAK(also Margot can speak to dogs wtf)
  • Serious: Plot twist, Warner is a dick
  • What You Want: Who needs a personal essay when you have the ENTIRETY OF UCLA
  • The Harvard Variations: share a BIT about ourselves
  • Blood in the Water: let's make no one want law career
  • Positive: either fight her or shake your ass
  • Ireland: pure sweet Paulette
  • Ireland (Reprise): pure sweet Paulette doesn't know where this metaphor is going.
  • Serious (Reprise): Warner is a dick pt.2
  • Chip on my Shoulder: Why go home for christmas when you can STUDY!!!!!
  • So Much Better: a good job > a dick + that one note no one can do
  • Whipped Into Shape: work out, protect yourselves and HOW DOES SHE SKIP AND SING AT THE SAME TIME
  • Take it Like a Man: pure bean turns into hot bean
  • Bend and Snap: picking up objects... sexy edition
  • There, Right There!/Gay or European: P R I D E
  • Legally Blonde: creepy professor ruins life
  • Legally Blonde (Remix): Redeemed bitch saves life + IRISH DANCING
  • Find My Way: everythings okay and destroyed gender roles