and connor is just connor because

valeriianz  asked:

“Somewhere deep inside me, I still have hope that you’ll fall in love. How pathetic.” (Coliver and make it really frickin' SAD) cos I'm in a weird mood :,D

Wow this took long to write but anyways here you go, have a Coliver High School AU :) 


Connor clenches his jaw and forces himself to stare back at Oliver with cold, hardened eyes.

“You…you want to stop this?” He asks, his voice lacking any specific emotion as he echoes Oliver’s words.

If Oliver is affected by this conversation at all, he certainly isn’t showing it; instead he chooses to stare right back at Connor, standing his ground with his head held high. The only difference in the two of them right now is the tiniest glimpse of vulnerability in Oliver’s eyes that only Connor would be able to notice because he knows him so well.

“I have to” Oliver responds “I just…I can’t do this anymore.”

Connor frowns, his eyebrows drawing together so hard that distinct lines form on his forehead.

“Why not? It’s been going good hasn’t it? You can’t say you didn’t enjoy any of it!” Connor adds the last part in with a small laugh, “Come on Ollie these past few months have been great-“

“I’m not denying that.” Oliver says simply “I just can’t continue like this, us fucking all the time but hanging out at school and at parties like we’re still just best friends, I can’t go on as if-“

“As if what, Oliver?” Connor’s voice has turned almost mocking and cruel in an attempt to guard himself and his emotions and he tries his best not to clench his fists so much that his fingers force blood from his palms. No matter how tempting the thought is, he doubts it could hurt more than this sinking feeling in his stomach as he waits for Oliver’s explanation.

Oliver sighs exasperatedly, “As if I’m not in love you”.

Just like that everything freezes and Connor’s bedroom falls completely silent, except for the faint ringing in Connor’s ears.

He feels lightheaded, his mouth unconsciously drops open and his eyes widen and he feels like a professional boxer just took a strong swing at him.

It’s not the words themselves that shock Connor. Being friends with Oliver for the past five years, he knows how to read him and Connor may have suspected Oliver had feelings for him but Connor was determined to bury those suspicions, if Oliver didn’t want to tell him then they could continue with their friends-with-benefits charade and everything would be fine.

Except Oliver has just told him that he loves him and he told him in the most exhausted tone that Connor’s ever heard. That’s what shocks him and that’s what hurts.

The knowledge that Oliver has…just given up.

“I…” Connor starts, he doesn’t know what he wants to say, doesn’t know how to fix this or what he wants to happen but he just knows he has to say something. “Oliver I…I like you…you’re my best friend. I just…I…”

“Don’t do relationships?” Oliver supplies and there’s no resentment in his voice, it’s even and balanced as if he’s just stating a fact; which Connor supposes he is in a way.

“Well…yeah.”  

“Exactly.” Oliver whispers “You don’t do relationships and I do.”

“Hey, you were the one who started this.” Connor reminds him, his words dangerously boarding on the side of harsh.

But it’s no lie. Six months ago it was Oliver who approached Connor at Asher’s house party. It was Oliver who pushed him against the wall and rambled into his ear about how much he wanted him.

Connor had reluctantly shaken his head and refused. Oliver had been drunk, so much so that Connor could smell the revolting scent of cheap beer every time Oliver leaned in towards him and there was no way in hell that Connor was going to take advantage of his best friend, especially when he wasn’t in his right mind.

Oliver had glared back at him, utterly furious and stormed off to Michaela who later brought him home because Oliver refused to go home with Connor as originally planned; the next morning Connor woke up to Oliver’s ringtone and the second he answered, Oliver’s desperate apologises flooded his ears.

“Hey, hey Ollie calm down, it’s fine.”

“No, no, fuck it’s not Connor I’m so sorry, please, I was so drunk and I’m sorry, I-“

“Did you mean it?”

“What? I-“

“Oliver. Did you mean it?”

“Y…Yes I meant it.”

“That you wanted to fuck me?”

“I…fuck Connor you’re such an asshole, yes.”

“Well then, what are you doing later today?”

And that was that. Afterwards Connor asked if Oliver was okay with this just being a sex thing with no romantic feelings attached. Oliver had readily agreed and as far as Connor could tell, Oliver hadn’t been lying when he said he was okay with it.

Perhaps it was the afterglow that had clouded Connor’s judgement. Maybe Oliver had looked upset or disappointed when he said that but Connor never picked up on it. If he had, he never would have continued this in the first place.

“I know I did. I’m sorry. This wasn’t fair to you.” Oliver wraps his arms around himself, his right hand clutching his elbow and his left hand underneath clutching his side.

Connor runs a hand through his hair, swallows hard and stares down at the stain on his carpet that Oliver made two years ago when he spilled his spaghetti bolognese dinner from laughing too hard at something Connor said that neither of them can remember now.

“So why did you…why did you keep this thing going if you…you know?”

Oliver’s dark, sarcastic laugh is what causes Connor to look up at him again and the pain on Oliver’s face cuts through Connor’s heart like a knife.

“Because somewhere deep inside me, I still have hope that you’ll fall in love. How pathetic.

Connor shakes his head hurriedly, feet thinking for him as he steps towards Oliver until there’s barely any space between them.

“You’re not pathetic.” Connor promises quietly

Oliver smiles but his eyes remain lost and uneasy as they look at the ground between them,

“I am; I always have been. I’ve… Connor I’ve loved you practically since we first met and you…you’re perfect and you’ve always been there for me and I didn’t want to ruin our friendship but that’s exactly what I’m doing and I’m really sorry but I just…I can’t take this anymore I can’t I-“

The tears that must have been building for the past half hour finally fall from Oliver’s eyes, one after the other until Oliver’s breathing sounds more like continuing, wrecked gasps and his whole body is trembling.

It’s a split second decision that Connor makes without any thought of why this is the most inappropriate moment to do this but he takes Oliver into his arms and hugs him tight. He feels Oliver’s sharp intake of breath against his neck, most likely stunned that Connor is hugging him because they’ve never hugged, the reason for that being that Connor never hugs anyone.

But then again, Connor’s never felt what he feels for Oliver, for anyone else.

He’s never felt that sickening, consuming, agonising pain like he’s going to throw up and never stop when he saw someone else in physical or emotional pain like he just experienced with Oliver a few minutes ago.

He’s never wanted to stroke someone’s hair back from their face and watch as they smile softly back at you with wide loving eyes after sex like he did with Oliver just the night before.

He never felt like he could trust or care for someone as completely as he does with Oliver.

He just never accepted it until now.

Rubbing Oliver’s back in circles gently, Connor waits a few minutes for his sobs to subside and until he himself gains total control and fights back his own tears before he says all the words he never could into Oliver’s ear,

“Ollie, you’re not pathetic. You’re not you’re…you’re kind and good. You’re fucking gorgeous. You’re my best friend. So I thought it was normal liking you, being willing to die for you and by that I mean the amount of times I studied for a test because you told me to. I just…I pretended that the only reason why I wanted to sleep with you was because you were hot and we were friends so surely that would make it better but…but that wasn’t the only reason.”

Oliver sniffs into his shoulder and Connor hears him faintly say, “You don’t have to lie to me.”

Now it’s Connor who laughs sarcastically, “I’m not lying. Oliver I…I tried not to like you, I tried not to love you. Before, it was easier because I just had sex with other people and tried to forget you but even then something wasn’t right. I kept thinking their eyes weren’t beautiful like your brown ones or stupid things like that and then…then when we started this…this thing, I thought my feelings would stop because I assumed they were just because you’re attractive but Ollie they just got worse and worse and I tried to-to fight them but I-I couldn’t….” Connor shuts his eyes as a single tear betrays him and falls down his cheek, “I couldn’t stop myself from loving you and I…I’m sorry it took so long for me to say it.”

A minute of silence passes…and then another and another until Connor’s heart is beating so hard in his chest that it’s physically painful but he knows he has to wait for Oliver to speak, for him to adjust to what his best friend just said.

Finally Oliver pulls back, his eyes are rimmed with a light, disturbing shade of red that makes Connor’s blood run cold but there’s a sparkle of hope in Oliver’s eyes that Connor feels like he hasn’t seen in such a long time.

“Did you mean all of that?”

Connor nods.

“You…you love me?”

Connor’s lips turn up into a genuine soft smile and he nods again.

Oliver swallows hard, his eyes flickering across all of Connor’s features before daring to ask,

“What about your strict ‘no boyfriends’ rule?”

Connor blinks and his mind races with a million possible answers to this question but none of them stick out as any good, none of them feel right anymore so instead Connor leans forward and kisses Oliver gently on the lips.

It’s a chaste kiss, one they’ve only shared a handful of times and only when they were half asleep and drained from their previous activities.

Connor lets his lips linger over Oliver’s for a second longer than necessary before pulling back and lifting a finger to stroke Oliver’s cheek until he opens his eyes and meets Connor’s again.

“I meant what I said, I don’t want a boyfriend. I don’t want faceless boyfriends who don’t know me and who don’t care about me, the type of guys who usually ask me to be their boyfriend. I don’t want them, I never have. But I…I always wanted you, in whatever way you wanted me. You do know me…I’m lucky enough to have you care about me and want me so…so yeah…if you want to be my boyfriend then…then alright, let’s go for it.”

“You mean that?” Oliver asks; his voice already lighter and a ghost of a smile playing at his lips.

Connor nods, grinning as he leans in to kiss Oliver again, not so chastely this time.

“Yes, yes I mean it.”

Oliver finally grins wide enough to display his adorable, prominent dimples but Connor doesn’t get time to fully appreciate them before Oliver captures his lips in a soaring kiss and wraps his hand around Connor’s waist to pull him closer.

Needless to say, Connor isn’t complaining.

I don’t know that!… or i don’t know if i believe that, because the way you all talk about him it’s, like, you think he’s some horrible person, but i know him… and i love him and… i don’t think it’s okay that we’re just sitting around here waiting for him to get hurt
—  Oliver Hampton
2

What’s your favorite scene so far this season? There’s a scene in this episode where Connor and Oliver are just laying in bed. I love that—because they’re not back together or are they?—they don’t even know. There’s something really intimate about laying in bed talking to someone, and they’re not even touching. They’re just going through their day, and Oliver has this little mini giggle fit. That’s my favorite scene, I think, out of the whole season because it feels so real. In the middle of all of this stuff that’s going on, there’s always a sweetness between them, I really think, that kind of permeates through the show in a really cool way. – Conrad Ricamora

Percy Jackson may drool in his sleep, but he likes to point out that Annabeth snores

unfollow me because i don’t think pewdiepie is a nazi ✌️✌️✌️

What if Evan was the one to kill himself and not Connor?
Evan is found with Connor’s name, and only Connor’s name, on his cast. And Evan’s mom thinks that maybe her son does have a friend. She goes to confront Connor, like the Murphy’s did, at school, but he hasn’t showed up for school today.
A few weeks later, Connor shows up at the hospital Heidi works at, half high and half concussed.
Heidi instantly recognizes him. She’s been to his Facebook page, mouse hovering over that friend request button, desperate for answers.
She learns that he, nd of course he did, fell out of a tree to get himself a concussion. (of course Connor just like to get high and do weird shit sometimes)
She begs him to stay until after her shift, and for some reason, he does. Because he was one of the last people to see Evan alive. He was one of the last people to talk to Evan. And he had been mean to Evan earlier that day. Connor may be troubled and a bit of a jerk, but he was still very interested in what she has to say.
So he stays and waits.
Heidi takes him out to a diner, forgoing nigh classes for tonight.
Connor confesses that they hadn’t been friends. They barely had known each other. He tells her about how he pushed her son earlier that day.
And she doesn’t fault him. She doesn’t get mad like he expected, almost hoped for. She tries to understand. That’s very new to Connor.

2

Shadowhunter!Connor AU

Edmonton Oilers memes
  • The Idea that McDavid was only drafted to protect Lucic
  • “Always recycle you never know when Ference is watching” going off of that Leon Draisaitl is a spy for Andrew Ference. You can never trust him.
  • The Gretzky Curse 
  • “You can’t say that Pat!” right as pat maroon opens his mouth but before he has the chance to say anything.
  • *someone mentions the gap in Eberle’s teeth* “yet another unrealistic expectation for men.” 
  • going off of the last one, the team acts like the gap is the hottest thing and when one of them loses a tooth the others accuse him of trying to be Ebs.
  • They fight over who loves Connor McDavid more and it usually ends with Lucic threatening to beat everyone up because he loves Connor the most. 
  • Just calling Klefbom sexbomb all the time.
  • “I remember the day Hallsy died like it was yesterday.”
  • “Hey nuge can you chill” when Nuge is doing nothing.
  • “Who’s faster McDavid or the crushing realization of mortality?” actual debates arise
  • “What would the 2011 boston bruins do?”
  • Calling Caggiula, Caligula 
  • Telling Cam Talbot whatever he’s wearing is so not his color.
Imagine Connor singing part of Words Fail before killing himself

I was just listening to Words Fail and decided to play around with some of the lyrics to make them seem like they could have been sung by Connor before his suicide


I wish I could pretend I’m something better than these broken parts

Pretend I’m something better than this mess that I am

Because if I don’t have to look at it

Then no one has to look at it

No

No one should really see me

If I’d learned to slam on the brake

Before I even turned the key

Before I made the mistake

I wouldn’t lead with the worst of me

They wouldn’t only see the worst of me

But thats what everyone saw

Thats who everyone knew

They never liked who they saw

They always hate him too

How can I get away from whats true?

All I’d ever do is run

So I guess I’ll just step out, Step out of the sun

Step out of the sun….

4

All fall down, we all fall down, all fall down


We all fall down, all fall down, all fall down.

so i was feeding my bird when i had a random thought: dear evan hansen characters and pets????

evan would totally have a dog (and he’ll name them after a kind of tree smh),,, imagine evan coming home after school and hes having a shit day and the dog is at the door jumping with joy and evan just melts because who knows how long his dog has been waiting on the door mat for him
he cries in bed, and the dog just jumps in bed with him and sleeps by his side and evan is like, instantly comforted
he swears the dog knows when evan is feeling like shit bc it always lies by his side when he is
evan loves his dog so much ok

evan brings zoe over and she just pets the dog and plays with it for hours probably

connor would totally have a cat?? a house cat if u will and sometimes when connor has like those mad mood swings hed just look at the cat and observe how chill it is and he’ll just sit there talking to the cat and asks how it even does that and idk. connor loves the cat. he cant sleep without the cat by his side
he also spoils the damn thing and appreciates it when the cat brings dead rats to him because wow it took all that effort to bring him a gift and at the same time kinda pissed bc “what you think i cant get my own food?? smh cat”

jared ?????? would have a BIRD?? idk man maybe its just me being biased but imagine jared having a talking bird and he just teaches the bird how to say inappropriate things like “penis” and thinks its funny until his mother catches the bird saying “penis” everytime she says a word to it lmao
jared loves his bird to the moon and back,, he put the cage next to his desk so he can have company while working on the computer and it always makes jared snort when its super quiet and he starts typing and the bird just says “penis” in response

PLS ADD MORE DEAR EVAN HANSEN CHARACTERS AND PETS??? I WANT MORE? OR MAYBE NOT BC THIS IS PROBABLY A SHIT IDEA

How AC characters study for finals
  • Altaïr: *stares at the stack of papers* DESYNCHRONIZED
  • Malik: *tries to get Altaïr's shit together by repeatedly insulting him* NOVICE!!!
  • Ezio: *sexts his girlfriend*
  • Ezio text: [hey come over I'm going to fail this anyways lol]
  • Connor: *studies hard the whole night, watches puppy videos to relax*
  • Connor: I'm going to die :,)
  • Haytham: *doesn't need to study because this ass is a smart ass*
  • Lee: *procrastinates because knows that he's gonna cheat from Haytham tomorrow*
  • Hickey: *doesn't give a shit, drops out the day before finals are over*
  • Aveline: *crams material that isn't even on the final, but just in case*
  • Aveline: Imma learn all capitals of the world for this math exam....
  • Edward: alright, after studying hard for an hour, I'm going to take a shot of vodka...lets go
  • Edward: *gets drunk in 30 minutes*
  • Adewale: *tries to help Edward, gives up and drinks as well*
  • Shay: *betrays his study group, skips finals, decides to become a sailor*
  • Shay: fuck ya'll, imma swim to the sunset.
  • Arno: *consumes a large amount of baguettes in 15 minutes because he's nervous*
  • Arno: Ah merde, there are no questions about me. I'm going to fail.
  • Elise: *tries to study while watching Arno sob about his sorry ass*
  • Elise: ....why am I dating you again?
  • Evie: *studies hard af a month before finals, takes extra classes, barely leaves her room*
  • Jacob: :D lel where da party tho?
  • Henry: *joins to study with Evie just because he has a crush on her*
  • Henry inside: *^* she is so concentrated, omfg I want her now.
  • Starrick: *joins Haytham on the Smart Ass train*
  • Starrick: idgf, I've got money, ya'll can suck my d-

Okay, so if Connor is under that sheet just when Coliver got finally back together, it’s really good i’ve learned how to get away with murder thanks to this show, because im going to kill the idiot who wrote the bloody screen for this season.

im just so thankful for Connor Kenway. I’m so thankful for the character we got and the character we didn’t get. I’m thankful he wasn’t a smooth talking ladies man. I’m thankful he wasn’t a racist stereotype. I’m thankful he wasn’t an angsty anti-hero. I’m thankful that there was inner turmoil over where he belonged because of his white father and native mother, but that it never turned into a pity party or took all the focus of the story. I’m thankful that he’s very unlike any male action hero I’ve ever come across. I thankful for his costume. I’m thankful for his desire to help, sometimes almost stumbling into situations because he just wanted to lend a hand. I’m grateful he never let people push him around. I’m thankful for his hair. I’m grateful for how deeply he loved his mother and that we got to see that her death wasn’t just glanced over - even though he was so young, we see it still affecting him well into his adult life. I’m grateful for his relationship with his father and how, despite Connor being such a selfless character, he messed up big time because of his selfish want to sway his father to the good cause. Im grateful for how well he fit into the community he created at Davenport. I’m thankful for his real name - Ratonhnhaké:ton, what a beautiful, musical word with such foreboding meaning. I’m thankful for the rocky an yet devoted teacher-student-father-son relationship he had with Achilles. I’m thankful that we got to see him as a kid. As a rebellious teenager. I’m thankful for his snark that was always there but never overdone or used unnecessarily or with cruel intention. I’m thankful that he was so humble and yet sometimes beyond cocky. I’m grateful that he took no shit from anyone. I’m thankful for his slightly awkward english because it wasn’t his first language. I’m thankful for the fact that he has extremely neat handwriting despite his big, warrior hands. I’m thankful for the fact that when he fights, it’s with such power and anger it’s almost ruthless. I’m thankful that, despite being a huge mountain of a man, he never seems threatening unless he knows you’re an enemy. I’m thankful that he was always respectful towards the women he knew, and treated them as equals.

I know Ubisoft has done next to nothing good for this character since his game was released, but I still want to say that I’m thankful that they created him to begin with. We aren’t getting a sequel, but we got a long, heartbreaking, beautiful game to being with. And I’m grateful.